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Posts by Thors Hammer
Joined: Jan 18, 2012
Last Post: Apr 16, 2012
Threads: 5
Posts: 60  

From: Canada

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Thors Hammer   
Apr 16, 2012
Undergraduate / 'on a regular sleeping schedule again' - Transfer Essay to Truman State Unviersity [3]

I would recommend entirely changing your topic. Reading about the trials and tribulations overcoming anti-depressants while not under advisement of your doctor did not prove motivational. That's like having vision loss, and refusing to wear glassed because each new pair makes your eyes hurt. As technology advances, so too does the number of ailments one may be treated for. Plus, who's to say that the one reading this paper might not be using medication with positive results, as is with most patients.

Be creative, a story about a journey can be exciting with much meaning. Redo, and bring it back here, I will give you as much input as possible on your new paper.
Thors Hammer   
Apr 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / Fatherless Essay (occurrences in my life) [4]

Periodically, I find myself daydreaming about my male parent, and how his warm embraces and a decent conversationswith him would feel.

My heart sunk and I felt the lump in my throat develop. I'm not sure this sentence sounds right?
Several more experiences have occurred in my life. Like my wedding, my father's attendance, interest, and support would have been appreciated. No need to refer to the wedding again. Work on this sentence.Despite of our negative relationship, my respect and love for him will never cease to exist.

What a beautiful essay, I absolutely love the way you spoke from your heart, and avoided casting a shadow on Decky. Good for you. Great job!
Thors Hammer   
Apr 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / Nowadays children have too much freedom. Economic problem and self-earning? [4]

Just an idea,
The current world moves fast and is materialistic, with prices soaring for the necessities of life; it has become necessary for more earning hands to sustain a family's wants and needs. This leads to couples spending more time at work then they want to rather than monitoring their children activities. As a result, children have been given additional freedoms unaccustomed to earlier generations and essentially are misusing them. Whereas if monitored by a parent unhindered by the need to work extra hours to support their family, would make for a more controlled environment in which to nurture their children's direction.

In sequence with rising commodity prices, daycare costs have sky-rocketed, leaving the industry available to wealthy families only. This has led to parents leaving their children unattended for long periods of time, while even earlier than the age of ten. The children quickly develop practices and habits outside of their parents influence, sometimes timing events around their parents working schedule.

Although children do have certain fundamental rights and freedoms, parents also abide by a similar and symbiotic set of rules, creating the question; how can parents shoulder such obligation under strenuous economic conditions? Families often resort to necessitating their children to find work, manipulating their academic futures as a puppet without strings. Sadly, many children choose to make decisions that come with lawful consequences: shoplifting and Fraud tactics are increasing in concern consequently created by the peer pressure need to have luxuries items restricted by their family budgets.

Etc...
Hope this helps
Thors Hammer   
Apr 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / write a paragraph of effects of early marriage. [8]

Just an idea.
All too often couples engage in early marriage, not considering the primary question "are they compatible for long term continuity?" Many couples rush into marriage without considering their harmonious characteristics. This sometimes leads to complications coursing marriage development as they find and solve secrets in one another. Moreover, it stands to good reason that the more couples share with one another, elevates the level of trust shared together. This comes with time, necessary to truly know one another; in other words, it does not happen overnight. Couples that hurry to get married risk the chance of unplanned pregnancy, forcing couples to choose between a path of academia or blue-colored work to support their new and growing family. This fact alone should be enough to deter marriage until well after college or university. Then, too is the fact that as we get older, our priorities change. In addition to lax divorce laws that easily allow for divorce, leading to estranged parents and foster-homed children. Society ought to take a good look around, and recognize that corruption starts with the union between unwary marriages.
Thors Hammer   
Apr 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / An Essay About Maintaining Peace [4]

Your ideas are too scattered and uninstantiated. Try to discuss a smaller picture rather than taking on the larger, it's much easier to sell if you know what I mean. It's difficult to talk about international democracy and war acts without huge evidence and complete examples. If you want to use America as an example, focus on Afghanistan and Iraq, with the prospect for a future forced encounter with China, but back it up straightaway with a solid example (do some research). I certainly recommend a redo, because your current paper is not going to get you the mark that you want. Don't stress, just think about it first. Also, I personally detest essays that start with a quote; there are many other ways to get your point across.
Thors Hammer   
Apr 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / "I'm so glad I found another person" - input on my short story [2]

A different approach or suggestion just to get you started. I'm not the best in grammar either so please overlook my errors.
I cannot describe how I knew that what I was doing was the right thing to do, I just knew. I remembered what people thought of me, how they ridiculed me as if I was eccentric. The look on the contractors face when I approached him, his head slowly tilting sideways while his eyebrows crunched inwards. "Are you serious" he said. I remember the neighbors protesting the endless convoys of steel and cement trucks tearing potholes in the streets, and lines of inspectors conducting countless surveys and reports. My parents, they would constantly try to pursue my idea, to invest in the future instead of wasting everything on an unbelievable anticipation of thing to come. My sweet sister Carla; she was about as innocent and brilliant as they come. She was a graduate in environmental and marine science, and was on expedition in the Gulf of Mexico when it happened. There was little warning, just a ten minute notice broadcasted over the emergency network. The Ham radio just keep on looping while saying; "attention all citizens of North America, turn of all electrical equipment and go to your basements until further notice." That was it; it just kept on repeating over and over again. Then they hit. It sounded as though standing directly behind a turbine engine of a jumbo-jet, bellowing a deafening whistle that shrieked through my ears. A shock wave hit a rolled over the ground like a tsunami destroying all it contacted, and almost collapsed my lungs and oral cavities as it passed overhead. I remembered seeing blinding light bounce back off the heavy metallic exterior door as I closed it while scampering inside, the great locks supporting the ten ton door clicked close, and that was it. My life underground had begun.

Click. That noise, what was it? Suddenly everything became cold and I covered up. Then, the smell of moss entered my nostril so rich I could taste it. Was this still a dream? My eyes opened and I looked around for a minute while realizing the air pressure change. "The doors are open." I said out-loud...

From here, all you have to do is develop Jason's character, and send him on a quest in search for his sister. Maybe she is on a similar mission to reunite. Place Jason's setting in the west shore and his sisters in the East. Describe the trip in detail including what the blast zone looks like (plants, wildlife, etc.). Have them meet in between. On his trip you should provide a description of Jason and his sister, and details of the inside workings of his bunker along with a brief description of the armageddon. Good luck.
Thors Hammer   
Apr 8, 2012
Book Reports / The Chrysalids essay (response to the Chrysalids by John Wyndham) [2]

I'm having some trouble writing a persuasive essay in response to the Chrysalids by John Wyndham. My thesis is being guided but not limited to the statement "Joseph Strorm has to die, he is unable to move forward and accept change. His inability to think towards the future and his inability to accept change results in a static society that is slowly dying. Prove."

This is proving to be a tough assignment, and I am looking for any recommendations to improve my thesis.

I need help editing this persuasive essay written in response to The Chrysalids

I need help editing this persuasive essay written in response to The Chrysalids. I need grammar and citation advice, along with correction regarding clarity of my thoughts. This is written for a grade eleven university level course, and I do not have the rubric to provide for grading. Any constructive comments will help!

The Chrysalids is a novel that depicts certain founder effects of population genetics in a post-apocalyptic environment. The book title embodies the biological term Chrysalis, which is the pupae stage of butterflies while in a stage of motionlessness. Joseph Strorm is the main protagonist character of the Waknut community and represents the casing of the pupas. His beliefs and actions are denoted in his attempt at sustaining continuity to the chrysalis stage. The rest of the community symbolizes the immobility of the chrysalides' inside their swath of rules and societal norms. Joseph cornerstones a religious significance to avoiding reoccurrence of Tribulation by ousting any specimen not created in the true image of God. His criticism was founded on the book of Repentances unearthed in Labrador which was written after tribulation of the Old People had occurred. Joseph's totalitarian leadership qualities along with his unwavering resolution of keeping true to Gods form, renders him a precarious nemesis to other members of his society; especially individuals that may be concealing or amidst transformation unfamiliar of Waknut normalcy. Joseph refers to these genetic drifts as deviations when transpired in plant life and blasphemies when befallen in humans; hence, both specimens are not considered to be in the true image of God. His character represents the notion that amendment will lead to misfortune, leaving the inhabitants of Waknut in a condition of evolutionary constraint. Therefore, Joseph's existence impedes the advance of the Waknut society by standing in the way of change; he has to be terminated in order for the remaining community to free themselves from the oppression of living inside a continuous armor of conventions.

The fanatical attitude Joseph parades tells itself when examining his standpoint on deviated food crops and livestock. All abnormalities from their parental image were considered to be an offence, and such occurrences warranted public ceremony to witness their obliteration. David recalls his father's perception when he tells "even if a whole field had gone wrong we would wait for good weather, and set fire to it" (19). Joseph's led by example mindset is depicted in David's statement "We had more slaughtering's and burnings than anyone else..." (19). Leading the reader to believe that Josephs is very thorough when it comes to intolerance, even if enduring personal finical loss. Moreover, this level of scrupulousness is progressively embedded within Joseph's character; he does not accept change straightforwardly. Joseph's persistence in pursuit to the true image of God leads him to converge with the inspector when an enhanced variation of a horse is introduced and sanctioned from a superior jurisdiction; leaving Joseph denouncing his own ministries rule by saying "any government that could pass creatures like that is corrupt and immoral" (36). This shows his prejudice to any variation from preconceived parental lineage to be extreme, that he is willing to confront change from happening head-on in attempts to resist merging tainted stock. Joseph's argumentative actions and beliefs towards accepting change in biodiversity acts like a catalysis conserving a stage of lifelessness (chrysalis) controlling the developmental potential of the community.

As the story progresses, Josephs character trait becomes increasingly aggressive towards condemning individuals who are deviated from Walnut normalcy. Joseph has zero tolerance for human abnormalities, and was able to easily separate himself from family members who were not born in the true image of God. David recalls the look on Josephs face after a prisoner resembling Joseph's brother, but possessing appendages of spider, is hauled into Waknut and dumped in front of the main house; he describes "I had never seen hatred naked before" (34). Such a powerful statement is testament to Joseph's true character, a man with principles greater than that of compassion to humanity. It demonstrates Joseph's tenacity in pursuit of a stable nation capsulated in conformity. His mercilessness continues when he is confronted with birth of Aunt Harriet's baby, in which he scolds Harriet telling her to [be] ashamed of producing a mockery of [her] Maker (72). His tirade leads him declaring to Aunt Harriet that "The enemies of God besiege us. They seek to strike at Him through us. Unendingly they work to distort the true image; through our weakest vessels they attempt to defile the race" (72). This implication means the enemies of God may reveal themselves in the most innocent of forms (a baby), and to disregard humanities most robust virtue, which is consideration. Joseph's persistent retort to situations dealing with any genetic variance focuses solely on ostracizing those differences in a callous and public way. These facts contribute to the powerlessness of a community within the process of change. The citizens of Waknut are being subjugated from continuing their state of ecological transformation by not being allowed to identify the attributes of genetic changes as optimistic natural evolution. Joseph's existence in his community serves as a regulator nurturing a static population living inside a protective case (chrysalis) of parameters, while in apprehension of being prosecuted for blasphemy.

Although Joseph presents his character as an autocrat to change, his actions and believes may actually be righteous nevertheless. For once a man said; "Life every man holds dear; but the dear man holds honor far more precious dear than life (William Shakespeare). Hence, Joseph may have been acting in the most honorable way possible, staying true to what he believes in at all cost, which is honor thy God. He takes preemptive steps ensuring pureness of founder genetics by eliminating all sources of irregularities as debasements to the symbolic relationship between God and humanity. Joseph's nobility toward his cause can be measured in how he deals with David's inadvertent whisper about the usefulness of a third hand. Joseph accuses David of not being grateful for his condition by "expressing dissatisfaction with the form of the body God gave [him] - the form in His own image" (27). In fact, this could be considered an ethical retort in preservation to the mainstay of the consecrated society Waknut. Joseph's religious publicity represents the framework to make sense out of life, and to bring meaning and sense of purpose to their lives. He assists in constructing societal routine by renewing a nation in defense "determined still that there is a final form to defend" (182) against, alleged to be man in his finished state. Perhaps, Joseph's actions were to avoid a similar fate of tribulation the Old People brought upon themselves during their final form. The Sealander women also tells the telepathic group that Joseph is the product of split "fragments"(182) left after tribulation. This statement assists the understanding that primitive cultures build their structure based on founding principles from where they dawn. Joseph proves that his intentions are based upon founded knowledge that he intends on reintegrating in to Waknut. Joseph's cause is noble, it is preserving what he believes to be, the last stage (chrysalis) of humanity before tribulation.

Joseph assists in conserving the stage of motionlessness represented by Walnut society. His tenacity seeking out and destroying food crops and livestock proves that he wages the value of keeping to Gods perceived image greater than preserving tangible commodities of life. His position is so intense that he is willing to demoralize change sanctioned by his own government. His contempt towards his brother when David describes the look on Josephs face shows that his value system is stronger than consideration to the evolution of humanity. Joseph strengthens his oppressive social position by accusing Aunt Harriet of ridiculing God by giving birth to a Blasphemy, and then takes preemptive steps annihilating any human deviation including his own family members like Aunt Harriet and her baby. Joseph's beliefs and actions are testaments to acts of honoring his God when compared to the works of William Shakespeare. Joseph demonstrates to David after he wishes for a third hand that he is a man of honor, willing to shun anyone who even whispers irreverence to Gods original form. The sealander woman opinionates Joseph is product of original founder effects. Joseph's existence impedes the advance of the Waknut society by standing in the way of change; he has to be terminated in order for the remaining community to free themselves from the oppression of living inside a continuous armor of conventions. The response to Joseph's permanent absents from the community could represent the shedding of skin, signifying the final stage of metamorphosis represented by the community of Waknut. Only then, can the Waknut society unfold its wings and take its true place in evolution.

References:
Wyndham, John. The chrysalids. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1958. Print.
"William Shakespeare." Brainy Quote. Xplore Inc, 2012.
Thors Hammer   
Apr 8, 2012
Research Papers / How are plants being used to treat effluents from fish-farms? [NEW]

Unit Two Assignment
Thesis:

Plants are being used to treat wastewater produced from fish farms by up-taking contaminants and turning them into harvestable energy.

Analysis:

It starts by understanding that plants can treat different media like air, soil, and water while removing unwanted contaminants like organic nutrients, metal compounds, ammonias, and turn them into energy for growth. These processes are refered to as Phytoremediation. There are several methods of Phytoremediation including: Phytoaccumulation, Phytostabalization, Phytodegradation, Rhizodegradation, Phytovolitization and Rhizofiltration (arabidopsis).

Fish-farms produce effluent water containing fish excrement and leftover food particles. Plants that have various nutrient requirements similar to those found in the wastewater remove those contaminants effectively and store them in their roots and leaves throughout their lifecycle. This process is known as Rhizofiltration. Other phytoremediation processes such as Hydraulic control involves the plants removing groundwater and diffusing it into the atmosphere to control water levels (arabidopsis).

A good example of Rhizofiltration being used for fish-farming would be where plants are grown hydroponically using raceway wastewater as a source of nutrients while removing contaminants from the water in an environmentally conscious way. Larger facilities can provide controlled environments where they can manipulate artificial lighting, humidity, CO2, and provide plants various substrates for rooting while feeding them the rich wastewater. The plants mature using the nitrogen, phosphorous and potassium along with other macro/micro and trace nutrients effectively depleting the water of those nutrients. Certain plants may be harvested for aesthetical purposes, or processed back into fish-feed forming a symbiotic relation by promoting operational self-sustainability. By facilitating the need for large volumes of nutrients enables the farmer to clean larger volumes of effluent water and sustain an abundance of perpetually grown vegetation. By recycling the water through a closed circuit before releasing it back into the environment, allows control over how many times the wastewater may be treated and therefore how contaminant free the final product will be. This also allows the farmer to use various concentrate levels of nutrients for more sensitive plants. In some cases after water treatment, the plants may be too contaminated for use, or may have been used to absorb dangerous contaminates which now necessitate for reasonable or safe disposal. For example: Sunflowers were used to uptake Radionuclides in contaminated water pools in Chernobyl. In addition, Alfalfa, poplar, juniper and fescue have been used in Phytoextraction treating soil and groundwater of petroleum and hydrocarbons in Ogden, UT.

Case Study One:

In an experiment (Ghaly et al., 2005) conducted with Tilapia wastewater from a fish-farm located in Chezzacook, Halifax County, Nova Scotia. Five plants were selected for growth, and each characterized for their required Nitrogen, Phosphorous, and Potassium: Alfalfa 113/59/180 - White Clover 170/59/180 - Fall Rye 50/22/17 - Barley 56/28/17 - Oat 56/22/22. The chemical analysis of the effluent water for those nutrients was averaged at 115/50/230. The Clover and Alfalfa had growth problems from the start and died off. The Oat, Rye and Barley had the best results which showed the "total reductions in solids of Nitrogen, Phosphorous, and Potassium ranged from 54.7% to 91% (Ghaly et al., 2005). The study revealed "the plants were able to remove all the pollutants in the wastewater and significant portions of those released substances."(Ghaly et al., 2005)

Case Study Two:

A study conducted to determine the Efficiency of aquatic macrophytes to treat Nile tilapia pond effluents (Henry-SilvaI; Monteiro CamargoII, 2006) was conducted in Brazil. They used the water containing 2000 juvenile tilapia and released it into large concrete tanks for treatment every twenty-four hours. The test showed that over the course of the season, concentration levels of Nitrogen and Phosphorous increased compared with the water source (Henry-Silva et al,. 2008). This was due to the increased feed being used to feed the growing fish (three times more at the end than at the start) as well as accumulation of nutrient levels within the plants. The tests conclude by saying that "after macrophyte treatment, it is possible reusing effluent treated in fish farms and to release it into the aquatic ecosystem avoiding artificial eutrophication." (Henry-SilvaI; Monteiro CamargoII, 2006)

Conclusion:

Although macrophytes can be used to treat effluent water sources from fish farms, limitations as to the efficiency of treating large volumes are numerous. However, by balancing sufficient need for nutrients in ratio with the effluent needed to be treated, along with selection the appropriate plants and growing techniques, would allow for great potential when raising fish inland.

References:

Ghaly A.E., Kamal M. and Mahmoud N.S. "Phytoremediation of aquaculture wastewater for water recycling and production of fish feed." Elsevier.2004.Web. 28 March 2012.

"Arabidopsis.info" What is Phytoremediation. March 28. 2012.

Hegedus, Reka et al,."Potential phtroremediation function of plants in effluent treatment of an intensive fish-farming system using geothermal water"Sapientia.2009. March 28. 2012.

Gustavo Gonzaga Henry-SilvaI; Antonio Fernando Monteiro CamargoII, 2006. Science Agricola. Efficiency of aquatic macrophytes to treat Nile tilapia pond effluents, Oct 2006. Web. 28 March. 2012.

Air-Ease Leaks Reviews and Resources: <aireaseleaks.org/>
Thors Hammer   
Mar 27, 2012
Scholarship / Semester at Sea Scholarship - Describe your most meaningful achievement [2]

PG1: The trip started slow and seemed pointless but transformed into the most profound experience of my life so far.

PG2: Being alone for six days prompted me to meet the unknown with confidence. I sensed my own power and potential by developing a sense of self-efficiency, helping me face difficult situations while proving to myself that there are no barriers to my success.

PG3: what is a service learning activity?

My adventure trip has helped make me aware as to the role that I would like to contribute back into society, and being involved with Semester at Sea will ensure I realize that.

Hopes this helps...
Thors Hammer   
Mar 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / Toefl writing: to become well-informed, don't rely on one source of news information [5]

PG1: Modern technology has allowed for media to surround ourselves in almost every facet of human development, and now plays a pivotal role in developmental society. At a click, we can view media throughout the globe, providing many different insights local and worldwide. This gives way to many peoples perspectives into many matters. U Continue...

PG2: Various media's focus on providing news that matters to their communities, others focus on issues that bring drama along with facts, just to be unique. The internet is the quickest way information travels, however some people still prefer the tradition of un-folding their newspaper or watching the television. Each media resource may have a different and sometimes desired effect on its audience. For example: people who read the newspaper or watch television might be trying to relax, but people watching news from their mobile computer or phone may be on-the-move. U Continue...

PG3: In addition to the many media sources available, there are different... 2nd sentence: Then, too is the fact that every news mediator has his own opinion included in his report called the bias factor, and should be considered when reviewing the validity of any resource.

I hope this helps!
Thors Hammer   
Mar 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / Organic Foods - there are benefits of eating of organic foods essay [2]

Just a few suggestions

PG1: Organic products entered the mainstream market in 2003, when pesticide and fertilizer lobbyist inundated the media with public health and environmental safety concerns. Families across North America quickly turned to the toxin free produce options, convincingly sold on buying a safer, therefor healthier product, right? Although organic foods are environmentally friendly and contain no chemical fertilizers or pesticides, are people that eat these foods healthier? With this interesting question in mind, I was able to attain the following opinion.

PG2: There are many benefits of eating organic grown food; however, the most curious is the benefit from buying produce associated with the small and family-owned farming environment. These farms use naturally fertilized soils, and remove unwanted weeds and pests manually, or with beneficial predators. The seeds organic farmer purchase are genetically modified to provide resistance to most forms of disease, preventing the usage of fungicides.

PG3: The cost of producing organic produce is much more than traditional produce production, this cost can be directly related to the huge advantage that chemicals provide when measuring crop yields over using natural sources of nutrients. Whereas large scale growers adapt to high yield conventions such as supper-cropping, that is only fully realized through the use of chemical fertilizers.

PG4: Some products are more contaminated than others and should be purchase organically certified. Apples, due to their thick cuticle on the outside of the peel, are normally treated with pesticides often to avoid being eaten by their many natural predators. Other produce that is often sprayed with heavy pesticides and herbicides include:..

"Why do the other foods save you money? Are they produced here or imported, why would importing be cheaper?"PG5: If you say organic foods are more nutritious, you have to provide details. Just say they are healthier because they are pesticide free. Do some research on GMO if you get a chance, real interesting stuff.
Thors Hammer   
Mar 19, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'The Lucky Boy' - CHILDRENS SHORT STORY [3]

Thanks so much for your response, it was written for a summative assignment in English class, and due in two hours; so I have no time to make the necessary changes.

Your feedback has been very helpful
Thors Hammer   
Mar 19, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'The Lucky Boy' - CHILDRENS SHORT STORY [3]

The Lucky Boy

It was raining really hard outside and the water was bucketing off the roof cascading down the driveway in sheets. The wind was howling stridently and it was shaking the window shutters and rattling the outer-doors. The house was comfy inside and it was gently lite with temperament lighting that shown throughout the capacious and antiquely furnished quarters. The smokiness of burning oak wood and oven roasted chicken occupied the home while the family waited eagerly together by the fire and were discussing the events of their day, and ones yet to come.

"Ryder, did you pick up all of your toys outside before you came in from the rain?" his mother said apprehensively.

"Yes mom, I think so... I cannot wait to go fishing this weekend dad; do you think we will catch any?" said Ryder eagerly and with an unsullied smile.

"Well I sure do son, I think you are in for a grand surprise, this is a very special place. I discovered this through an inside source, which alleged to have had visited this spot once when he was younger while experiencing a spell of bad luck, when he left with his catch, his luck changed and he became quite prosperous thereafter." said Ryder's dad, he motioned for his son to come over and straddle his lap on the chaise lounge which he contentedly did, and giving his dad a bear hug.

"Really dad, I cannot wait to go, it is going to be so cool, I want to catch a huge fish, and bring it home to place it on the wall up there above the stone mantle, is that ok dad?" Ryder said with simplicity while holding on to his dad's supple hand.

He looked at his boy fondly and said. "Sure boy, if that is what you want to do, but the big ones are the ones we are supposed to put back, so they keep their gene pool strong; the robust and clever are natural survivors, and for good reason, so we protect the best, and cultivate the rest. But I suppose if we do catch a big fish from this spot we can have it mounted." his dad said rewardingly.

After dinner Ryder walked upstairs and got ready for bed. He brushed his teeth and combed his hair and jumped into his cottony bed ready for his nightly tucking-in. He looked around the room and he did not see his most prized toy; an anatomically positional nineteen-seventy-eight GI-Joe Duke action figure. He was Barbie sized and came with guns and binoculars including a nifty backpack for his all his stuff. He had clearly forgotten him outside on the driveway and he just about choked-up when he realized his hapless mistake, especially since his mother had reminded him to take care of all his stuff, probably about a half-dozen times before he had to come inside. He jumped out of his bed and hustled downstairs running outside while still bare-foot but could not find Duke anywhere, he was gone. His heart sank at the prospect of his loss.

That night the storm had swept Duke down the driveway and alongside the wash gutter dropping him straight down into the storm drains. The water flowed like a giant ocean current through the dark cemented coverts that were connected to larger tubes with slightly less tide, until finally, the wash emptied him into the river about twenty-five miles from where he had fallen in. His plastic composition provided natural buoyancy as he surfaced from the plunge inside of some sludgy foam that was being created by the falling stream; the frothy concoction encased him in brownish filmy bubbles. He was frolicking and trying to scramble back to shore while splashing about. His actions were noticed by a large bass lurking in the shoals tucked up underneath the overhanging weeds of the river bank. The bass was very large and probably four years old, and by fish standards, that is pretty old. He had a magnificent set of prickly dorsal spines and supper-sized chops filled with little razor-like teeth. His spiteful tawny eyes tapered inwards and upwards for sizing up his prey, but all the bass could see was the reflection of the morning sun spring back off of Duke's plastic body sparkling like the belly of a quivering fish. Then, he opted to strike... Duke had just noticed him in time as a jagged and cavernous sized mouth opened up underneath ready to swallow him whole, but he managed to grab a his bayonetted long-gun just in time, and wedged it deeply into the inner jaws of bass, preventing him from closing his mouth.

"Ouch," Bass said. "That really hurts, take it out, take it out now, how will I eat?" He was shaking his head back and forth and squinting in pain while Duke stabilized himself inside his clammy jaws, and pulled out his mini re-breather and took a lung full.

"One thing is for sure, you are not going to eat me." Duke said smugly and with a leer. "And besides, I am plastic, not food, do you not know how to tell the difference between inert and factual? Have you no true sense?"

Bass was bewildered and had no clue what Duke meant, but was beginning to settle down. His jaw muscles where aching and he had no choice but to be reasonable and mannerly. "The way I see it; if it moves and it is shiny, I should eat it, and I have never had this happen to me before. I am the best hunter around; everyone knows to watch out for me." Bass said obtusely. "I have been here all my life and I suspect I shall stay here forever."

Duke crouched down on one knee and rested up against the weapon and said. "Why would you stay here in this little creek when the rest of the big fish swim down river and out into the sea? Do you not know it is a very odd thing for a fish your age to still be this far upstream? I think you might be out of your place here Bass, do you not miss your brothers and sisters, or mother and father?" Duke asked empathetically.

"Yes I do," said Bass desolately. "I just grew up thinking that maybe one day I would swim downstream, but there is so much food here, plus I am fortunate to be respected by everyone at this juncture."

Duke realized that bass had never known the warmth and benefits of friendship and said. "Do you ever get lonely? I mean without others like you around to talk, swim, or play with." asked Duke. "It seems that for such a mature fish you surely are not wise, because even I know that it is better to have companionship, than to have respect from the fear of being eaten." Duke said with a convincing tone.

"Well maybe your right or, maybe you are wrong, either way, I need your help now, because I cannot survive with my mouth being lodged open, I will surely starve." Bass said shamefully.

Duke thought to himself for a moment, and grabbed ahold of the weapon and said, "If you promise not to eat me, I will remove the bolster, but I want you to promise me something else Bass; that you stop living your hollow lifestyle and reunite with your destiny downstream." said Duke with an inspiring tone. "I will help you get there, because I certainly do not want to stay here in this little stream so far away from my welcoming family. I have been separated from them as well, and need to get back home, this is what is most important to me; and together, we can help one another." Duke reassured Bass that he would be happier in the company of loved ones than be deprived of any.

Bass agreed to work with Duke, so Duke removed the steel butt and blade out of Bass's mouth and freed his colossal jaws; at that point, Bass was instinctively summoned to attack again as the sun reflected off of Dukes synthetic gear like golden flecks in watery light , but Duke roared out to remember his promise. You see, Bass was not the brightest fish, just the biggest. They set off downstream together with Duke holding on to Bass's slimy tail as he meanderingly swam down the current. Duke was having a difficult time holding on to his tail because it was covered in a glutinous and slippery membrane, so Duke asked Bass to slow down a bit so he could secure a better grasp. Duke was repositioning himself when he noticed that there was an otter queerly swimming behind them and trying to stay out of sight. He was obscuring himself using the physical cloudiness of the river, and he was hidden behind a sunken log. Duke grew anxious and immediately swam forward to tell Bass what he had seen.

"Bass, we are being followed by an otter, I think he is playing games with us and may have been following us for quite some time now." said Duke. He was fervent on get a harrying response from Bass, because he did not want to tangle with his likes, alone.

Bass swiftly swooshed around and menacingly said, "Come out from behind there this instant, do you know that it is not polite to creep up on folks, especially ones as imposing as I? What are your intentions with us, leave at once I say, we have no time for your silly game, we are on a journey." Bass was not in the mood for a conversation with an otter, especially since the two species are not generally fond of one another, and this instance was proving no exception.

Otter puffed out his fuzzy fur and revealed his white teeth and said, "This here is my stretch of river, you hear me Bass, and all those that pass through are subject to my keenness. And I see that you are an inquisitive sight indeed; because it is not often that I see a large Bass swimming with a plastic doll. I was simply watching you while trying to understand why you have paired together; an articulating doll and a dimwitted fish is such an unlikely match." said Otter with one eyebrow rose higher that the other.

Duke proudly spoke out and said, "You listen here Otter, I might look like a puzzling plastic doll to you, but I am much more than that. I was not created to provide sustenance for others, but gratification, more importantly, companionship to creatures far superior than the likes of you; I am helping Bass kindle touch with something you do not likely understand. We are on a search for our families as must reunite with them.

Otter floated forward and unmasked himself from the opaque water and said. "But dear Duke, you have mistaken me, I am not lost, nor am I all alone, I live with my family right over there in that lodge." He pointed to a greenly grassy bank flourishing with daisies and buzzing with the sounds of honey bees seeking their fruitful nectar, and his family were amusing themselves in a sociable game of hid-and-seek. "I know every inch of this river; it is just that I have never seen such a large bass in these parts such as yourself, let alone a formulating plastic figure; so I don't mean to shock or offend you, it is just that I find you equally matchless." Otter said. "Where is it that you are both going anyways? Maybe I can help, because if you do not know the way you will surely get lost up ahead. The river splits into two parts, one leading to the sea, and the other leads back through the city. Where is it you need to go?" Otter swam valiantly near and adoringly brushed his wooly pelt against Duke's thigh.

Duke was dismayed and Bass was oblivious as to the scope of their decision, both didn't know what to do next. Duke felt sympathetic for Bass because he knew that ignorance is not bliss; and Bass was clearly not able to reckon this one his own, or let alone, find his true calling. So Duke told Otter they wished to go to the sea, and asked if he would please show them the way. Otter was awestruck by Duke's modishness, and told them that he would accompany them as far as the fork in the river up ahead. Otter asked Duke how an inanimate figure like him knew of such magnanimity; as he was expressing to Bass. Duke told him that he had lived amongst people for as long as he could remember, and that his family taught him the values of something called humanity. Where all beings are supposed to live in harmonization together; expressing their thoughts and feeling openly, while sharing and helping one another and, each of nature's creations are delightful and purposeful. Otter then charmingly took the lead and grazed Duke's arm with his tail as he headed the way on downstream.

The water was becoming more translucent than Bass had ever seen before, and it had picked up momentum as the river broadened, and the white caps were breaking on rocks that came up and out of the waterline ahead. There was a natural rock cape that was growing some pine-trees straight up and out of the granite rocks, right in the center of the river; and there were birds perched on those mossy rocks just waiting for their dinner to float by. Otter advised Duke and Bass, he could not continue beyond this point because up ahead was his territorial boarder, and he did not want to run the risk of meeting rivaled clans. He advised them both to take the right side of the river down past the birds which would lead them to the sea just a few miles from there. Duke was concerned the birds would swallow him whole if he tried to swim past on his own, but he was cleaver enough to form a scheme. They said goodbye to Otter watching him disappear back to his oasis. Then, Duke told Bass to open his mouth up so he could climb in; and reassured Bass that he was so immense, the birds were not going to bother him; he agreed to the plan and opened up. Duke reminded Bass not to swallow no matter what, and to open up once on the other side of the birds. Duke scampered in his mouth and Bass closed up tight. Bass swiftly swam past the birds and soon was on the other side in a more narrowed section of the river, its depth had increased and the bottom was covered in polished black rocks; and Bass's insides were filling with excitement to the likes of which he had never felt before. For the first time he started thinking about the vastness of the world around him and his insignificants within, and numbness strained his sole. Bass started feeling a strange and brewing sensation, like something inside him was calling his name louder and louder.

"Bass-Bass, can you hear me, wake up you slumbering behemoth. It is me Duke remember, open up!" Duke was arched over with his army boots firmly planted into Bass's tongue, and his back pressed up against his hard palate and he was squawking loudly.

"Oh yeh, I forgot Duke, I am sorry, I was not thinking about swallowing, I promise. I just seen those pretty rocks down there and--." said Bass. He opened up and made an unplugging sound as duke shot out like a cork.

"Do not worry about it Bass, I am just glad you remembered and did not swallow me. Now all we need to do is swim on down to the mouth of the river, and I will point you out to sea where you belong. After, I will swim back up to this point by nightfall, and crawl to land, and walk through the moonlight to the other side of this peninsula to avoid those birds, and head back to the other arm of the river." said Duke systematically, like as if he had lived as drilled commander in the army.

Bass just looked clueless, and let out a few bubbles. "Do you want another ride Duke, you can grab on to my tail again, that was really great, and I never had fun before with someone Duke." Bass said. "Is that what friendship is like, fun? Boy I sure do hope that my new life will be fun and loving, and I hope that I meet someone else just like you."

"Bass, I like you, I wish you all the luck in the world my friend, and I sincerely hope you find camaraderie in you next adventure." But Bass was not paying mind to him anymore; he was idle and just blatantly staring into the abyss with those ocher eyes and wagging his fins. Duke knew something was out of sorts.

Suddenly, a streak of luminosity swiveled by resembling the underbelly of a glittering insect; it looked bloodshot, silvery and gold with whiskers on its front and trailing a bronze tail, and seemed to be fluttering its reflections of helplessness in the sun beams that penetrated the clear as crystal surface; it was jerking forward, and pausing, then forward again... Next, with-out hesitation, Bass surged forward to strike. Duke grabbed on and threw himself out in front to stop Bass's instinctive action, but instead, pushed up in between his mouth and the hook, preventing it from setting in Bass's mouth while snaring him in his leg. Duke was harshly tugged away from Bass, he looked back to see Bass lunge for another forbidding whirligig, biting down hard and swimming away with a mouthful of discomfort. After a couple of seconds trying to resist, duke membered he had seen such gyrators before in Ryder's tackle box, and realized what was happening. All he could do was to think about the poor demise of Bass because he knew most humans ate fish. Duke was reeled in on the line of a shanty looking little boy holding on to a large pole, wearing torn jeans and an old blue plaid shirt. His grimy apparel was immediately noticed by Duke, however the boy seemed ecstatic and was jumping up and down with excitement, and his dad came over to unhook his prize.

"What a neat looking action figure, it is in perfect shape too, with all its little gizmo's and gear." said his dad. "And what a brilliant surprise this must be for you, is that not right Brian? Is that not a Duke? That is an absolutely splendid find!"

Brian dropped his pole and clutched his new wonder tightly. "I know dad, I cannot believe it, and to think of all the things that you could possibly think of to come out of river, an old-fashioned Joe! And it is the cool one too!" Brian said. "I cannot wait to go home and show it off to my friends, and play with him!" He held Duke high and excitedly danced around like only a child can while basking in glory.

The ruckuses were noticed by a couple standing a few yards away, they came over to compare their catches, because that is just what fishermen do. A familiar voice was once again heard by Duke, the voice of his lost friend, Ryder. He sounded so excited to see Duke, but his dad stopped him in his tracks before he could come up and retrieve him. He bent down and whispered something into his son's ear and he lost his smile for a minute. Then an even bigger smile spread across his face like a stretched rubber band. Ryder proudly walked over to the father and son and extended his hand in friendship; he had a gleam in his eye and said...

"Hey there, my name is Ryder, and I see you have found something peculiar, it looks wonderful, is that a Duke? That's the original one too." said Ryder.

"Why yes, it is, he is just fantastic, I fished him out of the river, I am so happy because we cannot afford a doll like this, it is so extravagant, I feel so lucky." said Brian. "And the funniest thing was, when I hooked on to him, he seemed to fight back just as if he was brought to life. I love him so much."

"What a doll indeed Brian, you know... I once had an action guy just like that one, he was the pride of my pack I tell you, and we did everything together, I mean everything. He really became part of our family." said Ryder. "So maybe your newfound doll can be a friend to you, like he was to me and my dad... Because he used to talk to us you know, and we had such marvelous and magical conversations about many questions on the topics of life, and we helped one another by sharing our thoughts out-loud."

"Really Ryder, that really happened for real. But how though, how is that possible? We all know dolls cannot walk and talk, right?" said Brian innocently looking over with a gullible expression.

"Yes, you are right Brian, dolls cannot walk and talk for real, you just have to want to believe Brian, whether in yourself, someone else, or even the imagined, do you understand, nothing starts until you believe... Do you fathom that?" said Ryder. "Look here, I caught a beautiful largemouth bass, and we are going to take him home and place him above the fire place mantle, to honor him, and he may join into our imaginations too, do you like him?" Just as he said that, the bass let out a discreet undertone and his eyes turned stone grey.

The boy's played together for an hour or so, Ryder gave Duke a little wink to let him know that this was the right decision; and that hopefully he would be as fine of a friend to Brian as he had been to himself and dad. Duke Knew, that this was the right choice, and became content in the fact that he may now share his experiences with someone who needs to be helped. Both boys had left that day richer in themselves; Bass went home with Ryder, and was placed on the living room wall where he became involved with many family conversations. He was so happy, he had imagined his family having fins and gills like him, but he was wrong; he apprehended the fact that you cannot pick or choose your family; but only accept and love those who love you back. Duke went on to be best friends with Brian, and grew into his family; he missed Ryder and often thought of the wondrous thing they used to discuss, and shared them with his new family. Together they opened their minds to the endlessness of imagination, and quickly ascertained the reward, that is the appreciation for vision that allows for change. The end
Thors Hammer   
Mar 4, 2012
Graduate / Question regarding using same SOP for 2 graduate programs within same University [4]

Well, my feeling is that by not writing two SOPs will free the sense that you lack the creativity and passion to write, which of course is considered to be the heartbeat of every university. So go ahead and showcase your talent by spinning the same ball one way then, the next.
Thors Hammer   
Mar 3, 2012
Book Reports / 'Excellence is only achieved through experience' - essay [2]

This seems to me as a juvenalian satire "rant" if you will, and even if so, you have way too many quotes and phrases - some of which lacks lucidity, while all lacking transition.
Thors Hammer   
Mar 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / A tree .. I am [4]

I have to say, that was really neat and well written, though, I do not understand this line "It doesn't matter I have been telling myself now"?

Well done
Thors Hammer   
Mar 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / Hidden Treasures Essay - Bahamians [2]

I enjoyed your informative essay, as it was well written besides a handful of easily correctable grammar errors , though, you may want to start a little stronger in hopes of captivating your audience straightaway. You provide ample evidence about your passion towards your culture, which adds strength to your character. I think you did a good job.
Thors Hammer   
Mar 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'The Fighting Sycamore' - my first attempt at creating a short story [2]

The Fighting Sycamore

The tree shattered in a violent mess, splinters split thru the back of the Oak and released a deep thud that resonated down the stump and into the frozen ground. WHIZZ - went another - THUNK - not a second later homing in just above the first, splitting the tree and crashing it forward. My spotter was nested not one hundred yards ahead as I watched the tree fall just an inch shy of his life. The two shots echoed outwards crossing the crisp landscape catching my attention to the tree-line on the other side of the field. Then I saw a flash - CRACK- my barrel crimped like warm butter, kicking back the stock straight into my shoulder dislocating my arm immediately. I was dazed, but managed to roll over onto my back and tucked behind a tree. My arm killed as I yelled "Fuck, my rifle's gone...Dan you hear me...Pop smoke!" I reached over and grabbed the M40 and cracked it by putting the barrel under one leg and over across the other, pushed down with one arm and placed a smoke round in and snapped it shut. I sent three rounds up one after another and five seconds later couldn't see a thing. "My foot's stuck, can't get up, fuck where is he, I'm open." I could smell his fear, and knew we were in deep shit. "Dan, I want smoke up one every thirty, got that? Dan, listen, do you hear!" "Yeh, smoke every thirty, but I only got four!" My heart raced like a horse track, I could hear the lub-dum rhythm pacing forward as I grabbed my C-8 carbine and a satchel of grenades, and sat there for a second to just catch my breath. I looked down and seen a crimson trail melting and quickly felt as if I was going to puke, but seen that it was only a chunk missing from the palm of my hand where the barrel must have had sliced it open upon the impact.

I remember taking time to notice a leaf still hanging on to its branch for dear life while waiting to be gone with the wind. It was radiant red and its veins were of the richest purple, it waved gently as if it knew that I was looking at it. Then, wasted of its value, it broke free and drifted into the smoke. I remembered at that moment my senses exploded with a spice of urgency, and all that was prime-mortal took over. I had no time to radio help, and even if I did I would be compromising a larger picture, so I turned back over on my stomach and sprang up on my feet in a crouch position, and tried leaping each leg up high over the waist deep snow almost walking like a penguin, and beat down a channel as I went. "One up Sarge - looks like no wind." "Keep the smoke in the field; he's on the other side just underneath those pines to the right of the foot path." "Check Sarge, but can't see-um, hurry up though, he might have thermal." "Get the Barrett geared out, sabot rounds, I'm coming" I said. It was crazy, the snow was thick and heavy which made each step as if walking through coagulating concrete. At that point, it dinged on me that there was no way to cover the distance swiftly between me and Dan, and even if I could, then what, the scope got us both crossed.

The brown smolder stirred through the trees and was dispersing slowly baring the tall silhouettes of standing forest set apart from one another, looking like they were ready to come alive and spring into battle. I moved to the next tree down the slope which felt like an hour, the nippy air was burning the insides of my bronchioles as I snorted it back to keep breathes. I knew that once the smoked cleared I wouldn't get another chance, and neither would he. All I could think about was how much I wanted not to dye, that my boy would miss his dad, and how I would miss him, my home and friends, my family, and it drove me ire at the thought of resting there. My one arm was useless at that moment and dangled in my suit, the other gripping the framework of my assault rifle as in started springing leaps and bounds to close the distance through the icy smoke-show. I considered quickly just what had happened and realized that the three shots all missed there mark, which by snipers standard is inconceivable. Sweat beaded out on my back and my chest tightened in that thought. I remember it felt like having the vastness of the earth close in on itself around me in a blanket of horror - but I knew I had no choice, the depth of the snow had recently closed off our way out and that snow-shoe was our only option back, but not in a firefight, that would be senseless. Then, "творить!" which I knew meant 'move!' That's what I remember hearing anyways, as the forest came to life and shifted around like phantoms in the mist winking and sparking their orange eyes. I had no time to stop; I just kept straddling thru the snow as if I was running past a swarm of angry bees, the air filled with the buzzing of little stingers trained to repel me. I bared teeth and cut through the piercing horde bringing my rifle down level and popping out a tri-burst, the hot lead found its place squarely in the chest of a the figure in front, leaving him opened up like a shaken soda pop. My pose shifted left and again I squeezed, TAT-TAT-TAT - This time decapitating an individual like at a medieval Tee-ball game. Dan was yelling "their flanking us, and threw a white phosphorous grenade that landed between two more shadows emerging from the turmoil; 4.5 seconds later spreading the red-hot RP granules over the immediate area burning the solders lungs as they gasped in panic while being lite ablaze. Their screams where sounded of a full speeded train with barred brakes on the track, and their legs buckled beneath their weight collapsing in a charred frenzy. The fiery air flamed out as he threw another which exploded midair over-top of two more warriors as they unveiled their cameo winter whites through the smoggy cold, and they too, were set to fire like watching a huge flare being struck lite in methane gases. A sphere of red scorching granules showered outwards like an exploding star diffusing its gamma rays across the galaxy, and shockingly liquefied the faces of those attackers leaving their screams gagged in their own juices.

I was close enough now to see that Dan's leg was pinched under a fallen branch that was ripped from the adjacent tree as the first one fell. He lay there protected by a sand bag that he had placed next to the base of the broken tree with his M249 SAW pointed down range and had already started suppressing arc firing into the woods around. The 5.56 casings were melting a hole next to the bag that it was resting on. I literally jumped on his back diving for cover which startled Dan for a second as he wheeled his Kabar round stopping short of my larynx. "It's me fool" I said, "save it for them." He was panic sickened but still sensible enough to quickly shift back to the event. I opened the satchel and emptied out a handful of M67 fragmentation grenades and grabbed one while chewing out the pin, throwing it past the smoldering remains of the first kills, exploding shards of steels in every direction and hitting the last man scuttling forward. It lifted him straight off the ground and scattered him backwards, he was screaming and twitching on the soft ground and I could see his spoils soak into the snow. We just lay there, waiting, listening to his agony roar out. I then grabbed my axe and crawled up besides the big gun sitting beside the bag, and leaned over it and swung down onto the flesh of the limb, separating the tree it in half with two mighty blows. It swung back and Dan groveled free, scampering to reposition himself with the saw. I dropped the axe and flipped the scope cover open settling back to prone with the 50cal. "Soon as that smoke clears, get ready for hell" I said.

We had slipped in the night before on intelligence recon to snap pictures of the warlord Salman Radoejev about six miles north-east outside the village of Novogrozninski. Dan had been setting up claymores all night and I dug two foxholes and filled the sand bags with the extra dirt. We had set forward camp about a half a click away from the rustic aerodrome and were waiting it out for his MI-24 to drop down and land. We had received Intel saying that he was landing there at the secret hold-out in attempt to plan out the attack at the Georgian president Eduard Sjevardnadze in early 1998, and we had already confirmed that he left his base in Moscow and was in route. We spent the rest of the morning before dawn scouting around to make sure no centuries were going to get to drop on us, but somehow they just seemed to become visible from straight out of thin air. Spetsnaz were famous for lying under the snow for days before a fight, freezing as one with their environments until the moment before action; and the snow was as thick as flies all night as we swept back and forth looking for trails and clues of things to come. All awhile we were in the belly of the beast, an ambush to catch the catcher. We had been fooled into thinking that our invincibility was gladiatorial and acute senses polished like Medals of Honor, but we were so wrong. They let us set up, and were probably watching all along, waiting for a cue or something.

Then, like the looming of an approaching drum-set, the sky opened and pounded us with the intense chopping of the three-blade fully articulated main rotor of a gunship settling with its multi-barreled cannon swinging around round looking for it targets through the smoke. The fuselage door opened and a rope dropped down to the ground, and the first man whirled down. Dan immediately squeezed off a ten round volley, plugging him off his rope and he fell to the ground. We could see the gunner in the lower forward compartment look our way as the Gatling cannon followed his line of sight. I paused, waiting for the space between heartbeats - lub - steadying myself in despair, peered down the scope left-eyed thru the dot and placed it in the pilot cockpit window and released the hair-pin trigger - dub. The Quarter pound titanium slug slammed into the armored widow bucking the helicopter wildly and it yawed round. I was shouting to Dan "get the Stinger out, come 'on," Dan leaped forth and picked up the twelve pound FIM-92A Weapon, but the helicopter yawed back to the left again ready to shoot, there was no time. I released a second round at 2800 ft. /s - this time piercing through the compromised reinforced glass just about where the first struck. Inside the windows of the second compartment went opaque and the gunship started spinning clockwise as the anti-torque rudder controls went limp. It was about twenty feet from the ground and pirouetting downwards like a giant steely sycamore seed, it landed and almost flipped on its side but righted as its blades innately powered down to neutral stasis. Two more soldiers got out of the back and hit the ground running forward guns shelling. It was Hollywood to the bone, their bravery, that can only be acknowledge with a quick death - as already one was being rattled through and thru. I waited for that beat in my neck that I had grown used to listening for prior to committing that fastidious clear-cut shot. I saw the reddened eyes of my opposite blink while slightly obfuscated by the his steamy frozen pant, and then sunk into the trigger, releasing the furry of a bull straight back again into my left shoulder, almost knocking that one free as well. I watched as his head detonate like a popping balloon scattering its skin all about. Now, the turbo shaft engines where whining at low throttle and the bird lay rested on a 30 degree angle set out in the clearing about 60 yards. The Blades where rotating just under lift-velocity cutting the air into squalls sounding like the flapping of a thousand wings stroking collectively. All we could do was take aim and wait.

No more than two minutes past and we decided to move in on the front gunner that had un-latched his door open and stuck his head out for just a second before deciding to button-up tight, boxed inside. I guess he knew that he had no chance after seeing his comrade's fall like bricks. You could see the chin-turret orbited backwards just a few feet shy of its line of attack. At that moment we moved - Dan grabbed the SAW and me with the carbine. We scooted thru the snow coming up the rear with our heads on a swivel, until we got up underneath the beast and felt the downwards power like the wrath of a tornado washing snow everywhere making it hard to see and tearing my eyes. I dropped the M-8 and pulled out my Colt, where Dan went ahead and while my arm was over and protruding past his shoulder for close quarters combat. As far as I knew, the gunner was unwary of us and looked to be on the radio as we peered in thru the bubbled canopy, the front door was on the left side witch made a two partied blitz seem like the practical choice for attack, as my target would be on the inside of my left field as we approached. The latched was recessed but it didn't lock as chopper theft was not in its designers minds. The wings protruded out about eight feet on either side carrying two pylon rocket pods underneath each. The extension was about three feet off the ground making us duck under as we crept up alongside of its fuselage and readied for the draw.

Dan reached up and popped the hatch handle open and swung back the armored door and took the element of surprise right to him, the gunner was wearing his flight helmet and had his com-breather mask un-snapped, he turned round surprisingly grasping a Škorpion 9 mm sub-machine-gun and letting loose its entire 20 round magazine in two seconds 2 seconds flat. All of which went straight by our heads completely missing us. I pulled the trigger sending a 45.cal right into his gut, where he gushed blood straight out of his mouth as if to say you got me. Dan grabbed him and pulled him out of the cockpit by his neck, and drew out his knife to finish him horribly. Then I yelled "stop, its friggin Salman, frig." I knew my mission inside out, and it didn't include engaging the prime target. "Dan, where screwed" I said, I will never forget that feeling of not knowing what to do next. "Tie him up" I said "and throw him in the back, were all leaving together and real fast." I ran around the other side and un-buttoned the hatch door, climbed up and removed the jacket of the pilot before I dumped him out. I turned the jacket inside out and wiped down the windows with snow and sopped it up with the jacket the best I could. Then got in and straddled the cyclic, closed the door and knocked in the front lower window pointing to the com helmet that he needed to retrieve from outside. Dan sprang out and back in an instant as if he wanted to leave just as every bit as much as I did. I pulled back on the collective eyeballing the HIS indicator and watched the vertical velocity indicator climb to 2 m/s and immediately applied counter torque trying to keep my tail straight. The accelerometer was spiking to +2g's which was not good in a bird built like a tank. I settled out gently handling the controls like a new born baby, until we were atop the canopy. I remembered how thankful I felt at that point for my stint as a mercenary in Africa, giving access to the whole of the Russian arms, including the experience piloting a Hind. I pitched forward about five degrees and rolled out slow and easy, fumbling for the control switch on the cyclic that switched gun control to the pilot. CLICK. I applied left torque helping coordinated a combat turn and selected the rocket weapons mode switch to burst length. I was in ingress back to the little village on the other side of the field knowing that it was likely that Salman's contacts were still there. I keep an air speed of 55mph and at nap of the earth until I seen the structure and yawned slightly right while pressing and holding the fire button on the cyclic. From both sides at once, rockets poured out like porcupine quills hell-driven on obliteration. They exploded into the structure and littered the area with 98 explosions. The entire area was ruined, so I yawed south and digressed out back the forward remote operations point. I got on the radio and signaled ahead that they would be receiving sensitive cargo from the north via borrowed Hind express. It was about a half an hour cruise back in which I wasted no time covering on the cause of the possibility of MIG interceptors, so I went NAP all the way back. I broke into sight of the FROP and blinked my strobe on and off twice, signaling my intention to land, and swung down in a break-turn, dropping straight on the pad. We were surrounded by weapon wielding GIs and four Leopord-2 tanks all strategically circling us, trained to fire. I powered down the Hind put my hands on my head, so did Dan.

At that point the soldiers opened up the hatches and pulled us both out, flipped use over kissing dirt and zip tied our hands together. They popped the rear hatch and dragged Salmon out doing the same to him. And now I'm here with you sir, that's what I remember sir, can I go? "Thanks son, you are a testament to all soldiers everywhere, go."
Thors Hammer   
Jan 23, 2012
Research Papers / I S U on Divorce, any corrections ? [10]

my annotated bibliography is wrecked, it would help to see an example of my work in proper formatting.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 23, 2012
Undergraduate / UC Berkeley Questionnaire on Disability [11]

I see that your literature skills are far above mine, and this limits my input replying directly to your work. However, in light of your superior writing skills, I would be very happy to receive your comments on my project. I'm so sorry I could not be more helpful, but I read and invite you into my heart.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 22, 2012
Research Papers / ENG102 Term Paper, CSR & Tobacco Industry [2]

- Nicely written and presented in a logical way.
- I don't feel that you need help on anything, but I did find a few errors...
- 19070"s
- Last sentence in the bottom third paragraph is too long.
- Asks
- Project and geverous behavior...
- Access- something
- To being rebuilding trust
- Dialogue - a
- Called upon to contribute
- Keep in mind, I just kept notes as I read, and was reading for content, not grammar.
- Awesome job
oh yeh, break up some paragraphs to ease reading
Thors Hammer   
Jan 22, 2012
Undergraduate / Learning From My Dissapontments (saint marys supplement) [5]

I really like it - and I wish your mom and you, along with the rest of your family the very best.
I will read again when you post your good copy but limit your saying disappointment...
Thors Hammer   
Jan 22, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Basketball and feeling of regret' - Common App Essay [6]

Get rid of those contractions...
AAU? I do not know what this stands for, nor will anyone that may read this paper.
Read out-loud and check for missing words, then bring it back here...
Good stuff.
My dreams slipped like sand through an hour glass.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 22, 2012
Undergraduate / 'middle-class household, suburban Pennsylvania' Rice cultural tradition/contribution [3]

Well, in the first two paragraphs ,"I" counted seventeen times that you say 'I', there must be a way that you can avoid this mistake. This to me is a big handicap that must be fixed.

What do you do exactly to assist your community's development?
You tell that you were involved in this fundraiser, but people want to know how, what exactly you did/helped.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 22, 2012
Research Papers / I S U on Divorce, any corrections ? [10]

Thanks Sikander,
I know it's lengthy, but still... I fell-short of fully loosening my tongue. Thanks for your confidents booster, my annotated bibliography is wrecked though, it would help to see an example of my work in proper formatting.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Undergraduate / "Look at her; she is the only Chinese." - Common App personal [14]

This story reminded me of a beautiful Asian girl who was not able to fluently speak our language in my English 4U class; everyone seemed to just move away from her because she used to ask too many translation questions. Maybe I was one of them, and you now have exposed my ignorance - However she passed her class and I told her that I was sorry; she said she understood, but she starred at me differently after that. I think your essay is very worthy.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Undergraduate / "The Redbox & McDonald Days" (CommonApp essay) [4]

Thanks for providing a really well written example of a narrative to me.
The last attempt at trying to write in first person fetched me a sixty. I was so upset and did not understand what my teacher was after.

Now I see... from you and the dinosaur...
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Scholarship / University of Tulsa Presidential Scholarship essay [3]

You must have BOTH been reincarnated from an ancient dinosaurs, because your descriptions are told as if you have watched this event unfold a hundred times over... I really enjoyed your work.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Essays / Media in the courtroom - stuck on supporting ideas [4]

Cathy,
Closed door courts are for under developed nations, we need to keep a firm situational awareness as to their doings, how else can we guard the public's best interest, by trusting them to be honest?
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Research Papers / I S U on Divorce, any corrections ? [10]

People, I need some feedback, is it really that boring - that no one will comment on it? I thought it was a very controversial issue! I need someone to correct my annotated bibliography - I have directions but still need help
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Writing Feedback / Natural Disasters in Pakistan, their Effects and Control. [2]

A little helps...
The geographical positioning of Pakistan threatens its own continuation, and by revealing its exposer to natural occurring disasters in the past we may better understand events still to come. History may very well repeat its self, lets take example of a few past natural catastrophes...
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Undergraduate / 'I'm pregnant?' - Admissions Essay - core values [4]

Yes family first - and you still where able to pursue your professional development. That's great for you and your family. By revealing that you had previously sided with your family other than siding with the strong desire to divide your time from family and work, it shows where your priorities lay. And that's great.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Book Reports / The Beauty of Dreams (George and Lennie's relationship, Of Mice and Men) [2]

Steinbeck was a great writer that unpackaged the hardships of the twenties depression era in the States.
George and Lenny's relationship was viewed by most as strange to say the least, I guess what most felt is that George (small white guy)was taking advantage of Lenny (large and challenged black guy) by taking his pay check.

However when Candy realized George's true relationship with Lenny, "that he promised Lenny's mother to take care of him (I think, long time ago...)" Candy quickly realized that George was consider good people and trusted him. (IE: gave his money)

Cut the line - reverse psychology...
I recall a butter fly as well, representing lenny's spirit, I think it's in the opener and the closer (if I haven't gotten my facts crossed), this may provide a great ending. If its not the butterfly then - its still revolves around that little pond.

You are correct about the relevance of the dog's death to Lenny's death.
This was a fantastic book to read, a think you're close to finish.
Don't say Irony more than four times.
Thors Hammer   
Jan 21, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'visitors should make a basic effort to adapt their behaviour' - IELTS essay [7]

I'm sure this will help you; it's only a possible example for you though...

- Foreign visitors' should assimilate to local culture...
- Others argue that the accommodating cultures should accept unfamiliar visiting cultures and respect their...
- Avoid saying "this essay"... We shall explore - we will discuss...
- 'First off,' "but don't say that" - "Firstly,"
- "Don't say 'nowadays'," - "In the here and now", globalization...
- Following "its" local...
- By paying attention to the trends of local customs and blending into them as much as possible, local inhabitants will appreciate our efforts ...
- On the other hand, it is my opinion...
- Often differences in culture can be subtle, and needs attention to be noticed...
- There may be situations that arise when visitors try to blend in too much, possibly disrespecting...
- It is clear that with expectation to bare all at a beech...
- In conclusion...

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