Undergraduate / Global economic structure& fiancial system;GWU Transfer(WHY GWU?)Goals &determination [3]

I've exceeded the word limit by 186, and I tried really hard to make this essay perfect. Can someone please give me a detailed explanation on how to improve on it? Not happy with this at all. Thanks.

For all of my life, I have lived in Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia. Malaysia is a country that one could consider a melting pot of nations and it is very culturally diverse. By defining diversity, I mean Malaysia is a multiracial country, filled with Malays, Chinese and Indians. You can see the difference in culture from the way people communicate right up to the delicacies that is offered. The progress in this country over the last three decades has been tremendous in terms of infrastructure and economy. It is proven by having, now, the sixth tallest building in the world, Petronas Twin Tower.

Having had my early education in a public school, and later in private schools, I have seen the diversity, diversity in terms of racial diversity and also diversity of opinions. Students coming from different strata of society and how their confidence is embedded within them. The most prevalent factor I see in them, regardless of their ethnicities, is the need to succeed and achieve. The changing environment has created a society that strives to excel.

To cope with the growing demands of the continuing and changing environment that we live in, we need to equip ourselves with instruments of success. Education is certainly the most important tool for that. It requires one to be moulded in such a way that one is knowledgeable, adaptable, confident, and able to excel in any given environment.

My greatest achievement would be to equip myself with this well-rounded knowledge, accompanied by the distinction of securing a distinctive qualification from the university that is known to be an all-rounder. It is about what GWU has to offer. It will open up the doorstep to my dreams in working in industries that is known to be a financial hub. Leaving my home and going halfway around the world to a university like George Washington is a desire that I wish to fulfill. It will help me understand more about the global economic structure considering the global financial system is heavily reliant on the U.S.

In my pursuit for knowledge and especially in the field that I seek as my career, which is none other than finance, it is only natural for one to gain the knowledge required in the most prevalent and successful environment.

The diversity of financial institutions that exist in the environment that I seek will certainly give me the advantage and a head-start in life. The success of the financial sector of such an environment can only be realized by sound educational institutions that produce the required labor market to man and further expand this successful environment. Knowing that I have a chance to work with these exemplary financial institutions if I become a GW alum is an extraordinary feeling.

Undergraduate / Racial diversity & Bullying; Issue of importance to me [8]

Honest opinion and I have not completely finished the essay. Any comments would be helpful.
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Many of us preach about what we believe in. We believe that this is no longer a conservative society. We believe that we are able to make changes to this world as people are said to be more open to opinions. Even though we have evolved into something greater compared to before, the sad truth is many people try to spread equality yet the amount of people who practiced it is flawed. While we try to propagate these things, the structure in our society still have got to improve on itself. This is my strong opinion when cultural diversity is brought up.

Living in a small country which is known to be multiracial, I have got my fair share of moments being bullied because of my race. Although I was brought up in a typical conservative Indian family, I was told that learning one's culture is a beautiful thing. I started asking my friends how their festivals were celebrated or how their beliefs were originated.

As I got on to middle school, my schooling life basically transformed, into something worst. I was bullied constantly and to speak the truth, the words can be absolutely piercing for a thirteen year old at that point of time. I tried to fit in but I was constantly picked on because of my skin color. It's ironic how a skin color can determine how your life was going to be. I went into a great state of depression and kept focusing on my studies, because that was the only way I could get out of here. To get a higher education.

After suffering for a year, I decided shifting school was the best idea. Moving over to a private school, I have not only seen the racial diversity again, but I have also seen the diversity of opinions as well as the diversity of interaction. I realized that this school has taught me a lot more than I thought I needed to know. I became mature, started realizing what the real world is about and how brutal can it be.

There is a greater need now for a coordinated effort to not only promote racial diversity but also, to promote one's culture. I have been rejected even by my own community because I was known to be "not a complete indian" considering my parents came from different background of ethniticites. Nevertheless, it didn't matter to me. I was born to this world to deliver a more meaningful message, to show how culture can bring so much of happiness. That's when I decided to have a working experience.

I found many people coming from different strata of society and were combined to deliver a wonderful meaning to life. I found so many culturally diversed people who loved finding out my background as much as I enjoyed theirs. I learned so much in terms of experience, interactions and gained new knowledge on how other religions were.

That's when I realized I wanted to go to UT- Austin. Austin is not a large city but it is filled with diversity all over. My intentions is to join the Indian Student Association to reach out to people by raising awareness and also promote my very own culture. It will not only open the doors to their minds, but also a pleasure for me to know that I am doing my part in contributing to the society.

Undergraduate / Achieving a well rounded character; Why transfer to GWU? [4]

I was born and lived all my life in Kuala Lumpur which is the capital of Malaysia. Malaysia in itself is a country that is literally a melting pot of nations. Malaysia comprises of a multiethnic society, and as such, is certainly a very culturally diverse society. The progress in this country over the last 3 decades has been tremendous in terms of infrastructure, and economy. With such tremendous progress, I find that we are in the midst of an everchanging and dynamic environment.

Having had my early education in a public school, and later in private schools, I have seen the diversity of people of different ethnicities as well as students from different strata of society. The most prevalent factor irrespective in which ethnicity they come from, is the need to succeed and achieve. The changing environment has created a society that strives to excel.

To cope up with this growing demand of the continuing and changing environment that we are in, we need to equip overselves with tools that provide us the instruments of success. Education is certainly the most important tool that we need to equip overselves with. Education today requires one to be moulded in such a way that one is knowledgeable, adaptable, confident, and able to excel in any given environment.

My greatest achievement would be to equip myself with these well rounded knowledge, accompanied with the distinction of securing a distinctive qualification from a highly ranked university in the world. Leaving my home and going halfway around the world to a country like the United States of America is a desire that I wish to fulfill. The United States of America is an economic powerhouse and a superpower. Being such, it is an accepted fact that the global financial system and the global economic structure is heavily reliant on the United States. The United States has evolved from post World War II era with a financial structure that can be defined as a hub for the rest of the world.

In my pursuit for knowledge and especially in the field that I seek as my career, it is only natural for one to gain the knowledge required in the most prevalent and successful environment. The diversity of financial institutions and financial instruments that exist in the environment that I seek will certainly give me the advantage and a headstart in life. The success of the financial sector and the economy of such an environment can only be realized by sound educational institutions that produce the required labor market to men and further expand this successful environment.

Looking for that headstart, I seek an educational institution that provides the education that I require in the desired environment. Having evaluated many of the institutions, looking for that secret recipe to success, I believe , I have now found that distinctive institution that can provide the platform required for the chosen career in my life.

Getting a degree from George Washington University is certainly that distinctive degree that I seek. To pursue my education and to be recognized for my academic qualities from a university like George Washington, I believe, will create the well rounded character that I'm writing about and is indeed that final piece of package, that I have been seeking for all these years on my journey to achieve my dreams.

Undergraduate / Herd Mentality; UT Austin(Part 2) / Issue of Importance [6]

Please please tell me and correct me if i did anything wrong. Just be harsh because I want to get in. Thanks.

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

People are adapted to herd mentality. Herd mentality is the social term where human beings from the time of stone age, were collected together for the sense of safety and security. Like a community, they were responsible to protect the people they cared and zeal for. It is the attitude of human beings by using the extended family system. The herd system brings the extended family system in order to form a community of their own. From the time of stone age, kingdoms would prey on other kingdoms. This can be exactly potrayed on men. Men behavioral patterns are such that they would prey on the weaker victims, in this case, weaker sex. Women. Even though we have been involved in several ways to promote equality, the sad truth is many of the man refuse to bow down.

Many of us preach about what we believe in, we believe that this is no longer a conservative society. We believe that we are able to make changes to this world as people are said to be more open to opinions. Even though we have evolved into something greater compared to before, the sad truth is many people try to spread equality yet the amount of people who practiced it is flawed. While we try to propagate these things, the structure in our society still have got to improve on itself. Several woman are constantly getting raped. The latest case that I stumbled upon was the Delhi gang rape case. A twenty-three year old medical student was on the bus and six men took turns to rape her and threw her across the road naked after they were satisfied. The preying on the weaker concept has opened the pathway to an increase rate of human trafficking. This is clearly prejudism. Luckily, today in this modern generation, woman are not giving up. Woman themselves are grouping together to combat the evil prevailing the society.

There is a greater need now for a coordinated effort to protect the rights of woman against these sort of violences. I still recall how I felt when I read the article on "Why Women Should Be Raped". I literally felt like I died a tad inside. The misogynism among men needs to end, and end now. Before anymore fatuous article gets published, we need to show that feminism is not redundant in today's society.

Rape scars a person for life. It gives a traumatic impact on them. It never equates itself by the sentence given out by the government or the justice system. Personal greed, satisfaction and lust have made human beings a subject to exploitation for the greedy, evil minded members of our so called modern society.

Going back to the Amazonian times, there were only two places in the world where woman were treated with high respect which was South America and Russia. Rulers, and fighters were made out of woman. They served themselves in war. This was where the concept of Amazonian woman was delievered whereas men used to sit at home to look after the children.

In the book, Half the sky, there was a quote written by Nicholas Kristoff. "Woman hold up half the sky." . Woman are more capable than what people believe. They can go through despicable length of success if they are given the chance. Rape and chauvinism needs to end and equality needs to begin. Question is, will the mindset of people change?

Undergraduate / Passion for writing/ Conservative background/ ; UT Austin Part 1 [3]

The passion of writing for me began when I was around five years old. I still remember how I use to go up to everyone, begging, one would say to read my piece, read my stories I wrote but none of them ever showed the enthusiasm. As I was slowly entering the phase of demotivation, breaking into pieces or even like an unsolvable puzzle, there was this one special person who picked every broken piece of me and mended me together. Gluing me with motivation and polished me with compliments. She was willing to read every story I wrote regardless of the circumstances around, coming home late from work, or had to go to court the next day. An exceptional self -made, self educated lawyer and an incredible sensational woman on the inside. That lady would be no one besides my aunt.

Growing up in Malaysia with the minds of conservative individuals, it was hard to truly express my writing skills. At the age of 13, I was constantly bullied in high school. People used to degrade me for who I am. Some called me an abnormal human being for constantly have the urge to write and preach in what I believe in. I came home, sobbing, wondering what have I done so miserably wrong to get bullied so badly. She always came to my room, and told me to divert all my frustration into something I would so beautifuly produce, stories. And there it all began, I wrote whatever excite me. I grew very close to my aunt regardless of the age difference. She was someone who knew everything about me. She knew when I was upset, she knew when I was lying and she knew when I needed motivation. The constant squabbles we used to have was what made us closer.

A self made educated lawyer graduated from the University of London and became a barrister at a very young age. I used to think she was so blessed, with a law degree and an excellent job. She used to tell me about how her colleagues were jealous once in a while, but to me, that was the sign of a successful lawyer. However, all this was taken away when she was diagnosed with endometriosis cancer. With the negligence by the doctors and the hospital, I knew that this was the way I was going to lose her forever. What went through a 16 year old's mind at that point of time was how helpless she was, to not be able to help her aunt at her time of need.

As I was going through medical problems back then, I still went to visit my aunt at the hospital during the last few days when she was alive. Obviously, my pain was compared far lesser than hers. Yet, she had tears in her eyes knowing I was suffering and asked me if I was okay. Words couldn't desribe how I felt at that point of time, the lady who was bedridden and was fighting death was having tears in her eyes knowing I was in the slightest amount of pain. That was when I realized I wouldn't want to do anything more but to make her proud. Get my degree from one of the world's best universities and make her content. She may not be with me physically, but I know the day of my graduation, she will be looking down and will be smiling knowing that her niece have finally made her proud. Unfortunately, she took her last breath four days before my sweet sixteen birthday and I didn't lose an aunt, but I lost a guardian angel.

My aunt is irreplacable. The amount of motivation and courage she gave made me realize that nothing will ever break me. I can go through many obstacles that come, I can go through the pessimistic comments I may sometimes face and I can be easily proud of every little accomplishment I make. Because I am the person I am today if it was not for my aunt. A lady of gem and an amazing soul. May she rest in peace.

Undergraduate / 'the good times of my life' - Purdue admission [2]

Be brutally honest and I have not completely edited the grammar mistakes, so if there is and you need to be opinionated on my work, please do so! Much help is appreciated!

Describe how a Purdue education will help you achieve your personal and/or professional goals.

I was going through my early childhood photos yesterday that was placed on the floor before me. My childhood was literally concluded on a paper that was no more than six by six inches. That reminded me of how quickly time passed by. I closed my eyes to erase the pain I went through as a child. The bullying and the difficulty an adolescent would face, but in my case, it may have been slightly worst. I realized that my emotion palette was filled with nothing but sadness, and desolation.

I lay down on the floor and remembered the good times of my life where everything was just picture perfect. I opened my eyes with a sense of pride and consolation, like I have won something. That's when I knew that I am going to succeed by ceaselessly being determinant and optimistic. By adding my emotion palette with nothing but laughter, happiness and success.

That's why I am writing an admission essay, because there is nothing more in the world I want than to move forward and accomplish what I was born to do- Finance. My immense love and passion for mathematics is beyond wonted. Even by getting a B in math, I would consider it to be just satisfactory because I knew I have tried. But that didn't stop me in trying harder for the rest of my subjects.

Like how one would be frustrated if she can't follow to the rhythm of music, that is similarly being applied to my situation. I can't dwell but instead, it's time to make a change. However, make a change not to me, but to the society. I want to make a contribution to the society after getting my Purdue degree. Building orphanages, and old folks home for the less fortunate would give me joy by putting a smile on their faces.

My late uncle once told me that dancing is impossible to be described but it is something that we should experience. That's how I feel in the dreams of becoming a Purdue student. The school's perpetuation of making student strive to the very best is what best suits me. Being accepted in Purdue would be a milestone in my life. I want to be a graduate, filled with nothing but morality, dignity and respect.

In addition, Purdue is going to make me stronger than I can ever be. Because like an enthusiast, I am willing to learn. I have a chance to build my name and be somebody big one day. I am going to fill up my empty book, written with excitements, adventure, passion and joy that I have and also will share as a future investment banker being enrolled in one of the top business schools in the world. I can do lots of things that I want to. Make my own name. Make a myriad of money. Help the needy. But none of those would matter to me because I need to go to college first.

Undergraduate / 'not gone to Stern' - NYU Admission [3]

"You're applying to NYU? Are you sure you're capable enough to even enter the school? It's a good thing you dream big, but be careful when you're torn apart." The comments I usually hear when I let people know about my rather far fetched goal. Their expression was merely unbelievable to their words when I respond.

" I'm not someone who will sit down and cry because I think I don't have a chance to be where I want to be. I am that someone who knows what she wants in life and will work hard until she gets it. I am definitely not someone who breaks down easily but the exact opposite."

That's it. Literally speechless. And the slow, awkward, walking away phase kicks in.
NYU has been my dream for as long as I can remember. But it is not because it is in New York City. It is because of Stern Business Schools. Why Stern? Sad to say that my answer is not one of the generic response you hear from a student who is trying to get in NYU. I think the name speaks it all. Stern means tough. Toughness is all about mentality. Mentality symbolizes strength, wisdom and confidence in my dictionary.

My dad once told me, nothing in the world really matters if you're not mentally prepared. You can be top in class, you can speak well and you can have the arrogance but if words bring you down, you have not succeed in life yet. That was always followed by the inclusive phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never harm me." Going to Stern is more of achieving the person I want to be instead of the person I am. Going to Stern defines that I am able to contribute to society someday to make a difference. I intend to open my very own old folks home and orphanage to help the people in need. The smile on their faces is what I want to hold on to.

And now, I closed my photo album and took a piece of notebook. Filled with blank pages that is yet to be written with experience, adventure and excitement.

I can do lots of thing that I want to. Open up an orphanage now, make my own name, help the needy etc. But none of those would matter to me because I have not gone to college. Most importantly, I have not gone to Stern.