Undergraduate / Penn jerome fisher program (undergraduate) - entrepreneurship [2]

Discuss your interest in both engineering and business. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree M&T Program help you meet your goals? Please be sure to address in some depth the specific nature and extent of your interests in both engineering and business. (400-650 words)

This program is highly specific that only 50-55 students are accepted every year to it. Please help me refine my essay.

What do you choose to study when you have passion for computers and business? You choose them both. And in my opinion, the best way to achieve a sound combination of these two is through Penn's Management and technology program.

From a very early age, I had a dream of developing technologies for helping people and selling them to make lots of money. But it is in the last few years that I have made significant progress in realizing this dream. My first foray in business world came through software development when I was in eighth grade. I and my friends used to spend long hours on playing on our PCs and forget about doing our studies. Recognizing this as a problem, I began my entrepreneurial venture. First step - identify the consumer base, which in my case was over 500 students in my school and few neighboring ones. Second step - find a solution, which was to have some kind of distraction which pulls us out of the game. Third - develop a software application, which ran a disgusting sound track after every one hour providing the needed distraction. Fourth step - test on small group, which was made of a few of my friends. Fifth Step - Market, where I sold over 500 copies at 2 dollar each generating a net income of 1000 dollars. Over the next year, word of my venture spread across the district and I made enough money to buy myself a new car.

Gaining experience from my entrepreneurial success pushed me to expand my knowledge base for future ventures. In last two years, I worked with two software ventures in India which developed software applications for business applications. In both these companies, I was involved in all the four above steps of projects. I gained quite extensive understanding of the corporate structure involved in technological entrepreneurship and an equally great expertise in programming and software development. But the biggest benefit for me was seeing firsthand how these two very different fields intermingle to create a money making machine. Using this knowledge, I started my own software solutions venture to provide software support for medical fields. We developed successful patient profiling systems, data analysis tools and such by applying researching, building and marketing strategies. But both business and technology require continuous honing of skills and that is where M&T program will be my salvation.

According to Benjamin Franklin, "An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." M&T according to me combines the best of what Penn has to offer - a world class Business expertise by Wharton School and extensive research capabilities by Penn Engineering. With specialized concentrations in both Finance and marketing, I can get immeasurable improvement in these two of my weak areas. I find a freedom of exploration through the personalized curriculum. Furthurmore, I value the "beyond the classroom" learning as I've found my greatest learning occurs when textbook concepts are applied to the real world. And with M&T's quite many internship opportunities, I can work with big businesses and small startups equally in any field pertaining to business or engineering. Also, the numerous entrepreneurial programs such as Wharton Entrepreneurial Programs and M&T Intern fellowship award can provide me with much needed support for further ventures. And with its extensive alumni network and world class faculty, I won't be ever in lack of support during difficult periods.

I understand the rigors of the Management & Technology Program. But these rigors are what challenge my entrepreneurial spirit and the strength of my aspirations. I see myself leading a successful enterprise in my future and for that I am ready to invest in the University of Pennsylvania's Jerome Fisher Program in Management & Technology.

Undergraduate / The battle of mind with seventy five other champions in Worldwide Competition on Microsoft Office [5]

please help with my essay. It is for main common app writing section. Any help will be appreciated.

Que - Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Stepping out from a twenty hour tiring flight, I felt the cool and humid San Diego wind in my hair and took in my first view of American environment with a big grin on my face. I was exhilarated, yet nervous at the same time as this was my first journey alone to a place approximately 8000 miles from my home, with a bunch of four people whom I have met only once. I was fifteen year old, going to fight the battle of mind with seventy five other champions in Worldwide Competition on Microsoft Office. It was a defining moment for me, for in my community travelling abroad without family is a sure sign of reaching adulthood.

Reflecting on the time when my name was announced for this trip, I would be perfectly honest that my heart skipped a beat. Though quite excited, having never being this far from the protection of my parents and friends was a scary proposition for me. Questions about my well-being, of surviving in a completely unfamiliar place were plaguing my mind. Yet one thing that I knew with surety was this opportunity was given to only a handful of people in their lives and somehow I have to overcome my fears to grab onto it. Through constant encouragement from my family and school and a big helping of internal monologue, I was finally able to break these barriers and decided to board this flight of my life which brought me to San Diego.

Once I got over my initial inhibitions on reaching there, I found myself in an environment of nearly complete freedom. I experienced, for the first time, the opportunity to control every aspect of my life. Despite my rocky start, I developed a sense of responsibility, of how to manage my time between the strenuous competition workload, basic necessities, communication with other people and sleep. It afforded me an opportunity to develop my interpersonal skills, communicating with people from industry and contestants from other countries while maintaining diplomacy and a sense of respect for their beliefs and culture.

Looking at large, I think every child, be it human or any other species, have to one day or another leave their parents and brave the world on their own. Such an event, in many cultures makes them an adult and a respected member of the society. The same is true in my culture. This experience have turned me from a reticent, naïve child to a confident, knowledgeable man who doesn't hesitate to speak up and can stand on his own in any new situation. From this event, I was able to widen my horizon of activities - be it a research project in Singapore, an IT seminar in Australia or workshop organization in rural parts of India. Now I am looking forward to use my strengths and experiences to navigate the waters of college life and eventually become the respected member of society that I have always wanted to be.

Undergraduate / work experience/ extracurricular activity : Princeton/Stanford [6]

Please give your suggestions on the following essay -

Please describe one of your extracurricular activities/ work experience which have been particularly meaningful to you. (150 words)

I have a dream, as every other person my age - to walk amongst the high and mighty and be known among the rich and the poor. One experience that I feel had surely pushed me towards this dream is when I worked this summer at the Indian Ministry of Finance in New Delhi. Having just come back from an International IT Competition, I met our Finance Minister for the felicitation ceremony where he asked me to be part of an eight member team to develop software solutions for the day to day usage of ministry databases. Having access to such important data gave me a sense of responsibility. It was an honor working at such a high place, interacting with one of the most powerful persons in my country. I felt important, a recognized person who have made his name in the society and hope to get more such opportunities in future.

Undergraduate / Princeton/Yale : Inequality and your experience [2]

Please help me with this essay. It is written for both of the following questions.
Que - Tell us how you would address the questions raised by the quotation below, or reflect upon an experience you have had that was relevant to these questions. "How can we unlearn the practices of inequality? In other words, how do we increase our capacities not just to act without racism but to actively promote racial equality?" - Imani Perry, Professor, Center for African American Studies, and Faculty Associate, Program in Law and Public Affairs, Princeton University.

Que - In this essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application, or on something about which you would like to say more. You may write about anything-from personal experiences or interests to intellectual pursuits. (Please answer in 500 words or less.) (Yale University)

What will you choose if you are given an opportunity to teach a hundred thousand people what you have fun doing and in doing so, improve their lives, learn their cultures and contribute towards you social development ? I think you immediately grab it. And that's what I did when CEO of a major business alliance asked me to be a part of national campaign which aims to train the people belonging to minor castes and tribes in India.

For past two years, I have been part of IT Skills Development Initiative organized by National Association of Software and Services Companies. Through this campaign, students and professionals travel to rural parts of the country and organize workshops on basic computing. We would introduce the inductees to fundamentals of computers, mobiles and other kinds of electronics and their use in day to day life.

India, being the country hosting more than thousand different castes and colors of people, is certainly under the evil of discrimination. This tends to rear its ugly head in terms of inequality in distribution of financial resources, educational facilities and other forms. The lack of basic knowledge in field of IT is one of major concerns with respect to this. Being a hard core computer lover, it was heartbreaking to see the lack of computing knowledge among the isolated classes whenever I would travel through countryside. On such events, I would generally try to ask the local youth about the reasons for this and majority said this was due to lack of proper training facilities and costly education in cities. One such experience left me awed and at the same time a little sad when I tried to teach such young people of my age in a local ghetto. The students were able to easily pick up concepts after a few days and were even able to start programming in span of one month. Such hidden talent is present in our backward classes and we have yet to tap it. Thus, when presented with an opportunity to rectify this situation, I quickly jumped on the wagon.

Being a part of this campaign have given me an opportunity to make a difference in some lives, induce in them the same exhilaration and curiosity that I have towards technology and open up new avenues of jobs for them. I felt it as a duty to help my country's youth in every way I can to bring them up to the speed with the revolution of Computing and modern electronics. This will help our society in a small yet concrete way to bridge the gap between the elite and the underprivileged. Inequality of any type, be it racial, caste or financial, only tends to weaken the social structure and fighting it with education and appropriate training is a big step towards curbing it. Working together with like-minded people, I think I was able to contribute towards betterment of Indian society and its progress towards a digital literacy.

Any comments or suggestions are welcome.

Undergraduate / This is me, your roommate; stanford essay - Write a note [2]

Please help me with these stanford essays :

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better. (250 word limit.)

Hi! My future amigo
This is me, your roommate. Just enter the room filled with books, among which would be works on almost every aspect of Computer sciences. Studying is my passion, so sometimes (and It is a request) you have to drag me out of room for a hangout. And mind you, I will make you study too if you don't take your courses seriously. But aside from that caveat, I am genuinely a helpful person. You can bash me up at 2 in the morning if you need any help, either to have a quick late night snack or complete an early morning due assignment . And if we ever disagree on any issue, please remember that I believe in compromise and I expect the same from you.

One thing you may find interesting about me is my continuous stream of questions about you. See I am a kind of person who loves learning about new cultures and travelling the world. I come from a country of rich cultural diversity and would like to tell you about all the places I have visited and experiences I have had and know about yours. And lastly, I have been told of being an adrenaline junkie, but instead of jumping from a plane, I take my shots by pursuing unorthodox ideas to research and taking part in any and every competition available to me . I look forward to knowing about you and your passions too. Till then ...

With love
Sarthak Jain

Please reflect on your experiences and personal development since your last application. (250 word limit.) (I applied for last year too)
Since my last application, I have traveled three continents, made friends in over twenty five countries, had dinner with The President of India and increased my knowledge threefold. And all of this for single event - my selection for World Skills Leipzig. It had been my focus for past six months with its intensive training by Industry leaders such as Microsoft, flying around the country to meet with the professionals and studying for hours at end to win medal for my country. These six months have been truly enlightening. They taught me humility - during one of my journeys to Mumbai, I met my trainer's student of 12 years old who lived in quite underprivileged conditions, but could go neck to neck with me on programming assignments. They taught me importance of voicing my thoughts - I lost 15 marks in final competition in Leipzig only because I was afraid to raise my questions for the fear of being embarrassed by them. Had I not been afraid, I would have brought the gold medal for my country which is equivalent to an Olympic medal for me and my country. Finally they taught me that hard work is always rewarded in some form as in my case by winning the coveted medallion of excellence. These experiences have made me a better person - one who is more confident in himself and who doesn't hesitate to speak.

Please be harsh in your critique. Any help is appreciated.

Undergraduate / My heart was pumping like it never had before; Yale engineering [NEW]

Hello, I am posting a yale engineering essay : "2E). If you selected one of the engineering majors, please write a brief essay telling us what has led you to an interest in this field of study, what experiences (if any) you have had in engineering, and what it is about Yale's engineering program that appeals to you." please comment on its content, quality or grammar and please be harsh in your assessment.

My heart was pumping like it never had before. I was typing faster than I could think as I programmed Business Software problems in the final round of the 2013 Global Skills Challenge in Australia .Even though it was May , the beginning of Australian winter, I was sweating from the adrenaline coursing through my veins. All of my passion was pouring out through my fingers and onto the screen before me. Despite the tax on my body, I was exhilarated. Whether I am coding for a simple visual that reads "Hello World" or developing business software for Indian Ministry of Finance, solving Computational problems always gives me a sense of euphoria.

Three years before, in my junior year, I discovered that programming was not just fun; it could be extremely practical. When I visited my local hospital to get treated for a cold, I was floored by seeing hundreds of people waiting in line for hours to see one of the two doctors present. I found myself thinking of applying what I had learned about neural networks in an online class to develop a system for automatic recognition of diseases based on symptoms. After approaching my Computer Science teacher with the idea, I developed it into a thesis and presented it to Delhi University. I planned to use their resources for further enhancements. The lack of adequate research facilities and skepticism about high school level research led to my project being rejected.

Instead of becoming disheartened, I became more determined than ever to use computer programming to solve these real-world health problems. Considering my passions, Yale would be the best place for me to pursue Computer Science. My imagination runs wild when I think of what I could accomplish with the advanced technology available at the Center for Computational Vision. Also, I would also be honored to conduct research alongside Professor Martin Schultz on his projects involving machine learning. Courses like Computational Vision and Biological Perception would integrate my interests in medicine and computer science, while the "Zoo" would give me a place to collaborate with other undergraduate CS students and make new friends over pizza. Yale's interdepartmental collaboration, smoothly integrated in a liberal arts education, assures me that I will supplement my knowledge of computer programming with knowledge about language and culture. Also, the diverse community and international exposure through Yale education would certainly help me in knowing people from far and wide I hope to use all of the knowledge I take from Yale, combined with its B.S./M.S. program, to complete my education earlier and begin supporting my family through my career.

Yale's engineering program will build me into a person who can attack both complex CS problems and social problems head-on. I believe that Yale is the only college where every day will give me the same thrill I felt solving problems in Global Skills Challenge and imagining Safdurjang Hospital's patients receiving treatment faster. I believe that Yale is the only college for me.")

Thanks in advance

Undergraduate / "Bam, the market fell again"; UPenn - jerome fisher program/ Mangement & Technol [NEW]

prompt : Discuss your interest in combining management and technology. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in business and engineering help you meet your goals? Please be sure to address the nature and extent of your interests in both business and engineering. (Please answer in one page, approximately 500 words.)

Please review this essay and point out any grammar mistakes, cliches and mundane statements. Also , is the essay smooth and interesting ? does it answer the prompt ? The program is highly selective .

"Bam, the market fell again." I was trying to complete my homework, consisting of mainly few drawings when I heard my father shouting these words. I was hysterical on hearing this, how can Market in its common sense fell? As the laughter subsided, I was curious, so I asked my father the same question. This was the first time I encountered business and its true nature - I was 9 at the time. From then on began my journey into the world of commerce. Each bit of knowledge I have of business comes from my father and my self-study - whether it's theory of production or study of international markets. On contrary, my trysts with technology didn't start at home. This journey began in my school as I tried to decipher those geeky codes written by my seniors. An 11 year old myself always wondered what those scary looking statements meant as I did work on Paint in my computer lab. As the time flowed, each piece of puzzle fitted in place - as I discovered the mystery of Java and C++. These two worlds of business and technology remained separate but only till recent time.

In the beginning of my sophomore year, I was handed over a project - by my father. It was related to web development, something I was good at. Initially, I was scared but constant encouragement from my family made me trust my abilities. So I recruited a small team of my friends - consisting of both commerce and science stream students. Being a science student myself, it was my first venture into practice of business. Over next few weeks, I worked over many different spheres - assisting the development of both front end and back end functionality of website and managing the costs of project with my team. As the website took shape, I realized that our success was built upon a strong foundation of business expertise combined with engineering acumen. Finally, our hard work paid off, with a fully functional website that garnered a new reputation for our company. Since then, I have gained much more knowledge about business and finance, through online finance classes and being a part of a web designing team at the online "Technological Entrepreneurship" course launched by Stanford this year. But what I lacked detailed knowledge of engineering principles, added to sound economic concepts that can add immense production capabilities to any enterprise.

That where the Jerome Fisher program is going to help me. An intensive program like this will help me shape into a successful engineering entrepreneur and this is what I dream to be. It's the only program I have been able to find that allows me to combine my interests in economics along with engineering. Living in a world where advent of new technologies is occurring at such a rapid pace, a course that makes me proficient in language of both commerce and science will be great asset for me. Along with that, I can clearly hear my phone buzzing with job offers. A four year long program to attain an education on level of MBA would be a dream come true for me, enabling me financially support my family earlier. Well aware of the workload that will accompany this program, I cannot leave a chance to master technical and management skills needed to deal effectively with the challenges and opportunities in our ruthlessly competitive business world. Combined with the liberal arts curriculum of Penn, there would be no obstacle I wouldn't be able to cross to reach my goal. Being a part of Jerome Fisher program would be the most important venture I would ever make or have made, building me into a person with a strong grasp on the technical businesses.

Undergraduate / Page 217 of diary ;U Penn; Why penn? [6]

prompt: A Penn education provides a liberal arts and sciences foundation across multiple disciplines with a practical emphasis in one of four undergraduate schools: the College of Arts and Sciences, the School of Engineering and Applied Science, the School of Nursing, or the Wharton School.

Given the undergraduate school to which you are applying, please discuss how you will engage academically at Penn. (Please answer in 300 words or less.)

please review this essay for any grammatical mistakes, cliches, mundane statements and the language. does it appear interesting ? any help will be appreciated.

Striding through the corridors of Wharton school, my forehead was dripping with sweat and my body was exhilarated. I was just thinking about how difficult it is to allocate funds for projects in corporations (as taught in today's Management class) when suddenly, I ran into a fellow student I met in Management & Technology Club. Though I am running late, we had a small chat about implications of new Apple policy on launching IPhone 6. With the words said, I am again off to study Artificial Intelligence at School of Engineering and Applied Sciences. That day, The Professor completed the class early, leaving me with time to discuss with him my latest geeky idea relating to Machine Learning in analyzing Stock Market structure. Sitting for two hours in his office and finalizing the project, at last I am free from my day's classes. But I am still overflowing with energy, so I decided to go again, to attend Dining Philosophers labs and register myself for the upcoming PennApps. Today's session was awesome, we created a really intuitive option in PennStudySpaces project. Overjoyed by our success, a small group of us friends head off to get ourselves a quick snack at nearby restaurant and come back for some more creativity. As the day was coming to end, I found myself standing before Office of International Program, to plan and get advice on Study Abroad for my next semester. I coordinated my schedules at both Wharton school and School of Engineering and I was done for the day. So sitting in my room at 10 in night, I am writing this page 217 of my diary and feeling the same enthusiasm that I have been feeling for the last two years at Penn.

Undergraduate / Web Development and machine Learning;Princeton supplement /Last two summers [3]

prompt : Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application. ( 2500 characters )

please help me with this essay. It is a first draft, so it may be filled with grammatical errors or bad sentences. Please check for grammar too. Also does it appear interesting and apt for the prompt or mundane and cliche ?

The scorching heat of sun was burning my skin as I stood before fifty awaiting eyes, contemplating over whether their time outside the comfort of air conditioner worth it. During Indian summer of 2012, I was to mentor my juniors for 8 week period over the mechanics of Web Development and machine Learning. Having studied those subjects as a part of an online class and an internship programme two years before, I decided to share my little knowledge with my friends before leaving my high school. Though my hands were shaking, I was determined to do this. Thus started a ride on an intellectual roller coaster which had quite a few inversions and loops, including but not limited to me burning out a computer when I tried to code along with my peers a particularly geeky code. But aside from those obstacles, the ride was fairly a smooth one. I was able to gain a deeper understanding of my own knowledge while being able to develop an interest for Artificial Intelligence in my juniors. Working together as a team, we were also able to develop a completely new bio-metric system for faculty attendance in our school, which made our school look pretty cool in front of visitors. But the seed for this idea was sown in me a year before when I attended an internship programme at Jawaharlal Nehru University. Organized each year for newly passed out 10th grade students, it provided dreamers like me to interact with industry experts and gain an understanding of new technologies. Here was I introduced to that idea of machine learning. Though the programme ran for one week only, it amazed me to an extent that I took up independent research on its application in medicine. Alas, I couldn't complete that, but surely it paved way for building of the bio-metric system. Clearly, my last two summers have been quite crazy. I was subjected to a wide variety of new ideas and experiences, which contributed to my intellect and opened up new avenues for me. I taught and learnt, created and destroyed, but most importantly explored and developed.

Undergraduate / 'philosophy of science' - Stanford Intellectual vitality essay - mentoring [8]

prompt: Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

please review this essay. I think It is right now a little haphazard. please help me make it smoother and interesting. Also, please point out any grammatical mistakes. Any help will be appreciated.

Once in their life, every student curses his teacher for one or the other reason - lots of homework, teaching late, taking extra classes and the like. And I am no exception to this phenomena. But the summer of 2012, I learnt a widely unrecognized fact - teaching is not for weak hearted. It requires strength of warrior, determination of presidential candidate and love for what you teach. But more importantly, you gain a better understanding of your own knowledge. It is an intellectual roller coaster, one which I rode on when I mentored my fellow students on the different aspects of web development and machine learning, which I have been studying since my freshman year.

At the beginning of summer break, I decided to share my knowledge with my peers, thus setting up a class for the same. I got thirty registrations, much more than what I expected and so started the ride. As the track become steeper, I encountered my first inversion - one of the student asked me an insightful question about regression - which I wasn't able to answer. How much should we believe what we predict? Engrossed in the technicalities, I realized I have lost the real life implications of what I have studied. For days I pondered over the question, searching for answer in the formulae and academic texts, but to no avail. The experience was an eye opener, a discernment into the philosophy of science. Through the course of eight weeks, such experiences made me understand the subject much more clearly, much more deeply. I was a new person with a stronger grasp on my own knowledge, an intellectually developed person.

I have 400 characters left , please suggest an interesting ending too.