Undergraduate / Admission Essay for Occupational Therapy Transfer [2]

I think a better angle to take would be "Why I want to be an occupational therapist", not "Why I'm qualified to be a physical therapist".

Your experiences are really good and no doubt would say a lot about you, but it would be a lot more powerful if you illustrated your patience and optimism, or the compassion and communication you have with your kids, instead of just saying that you have it.

There are a lot of professions like nursing or teaching that require similar personality traits, so make sure your passion for that field shines through.

Good luck, and very good writing!

Undergraduate / "Pursuit without passion is trivial" - PTCAS personal statement application [2]

1. I think you should say "physical therapy/therapist" instead of "PT" (Abbreviating looks very informal)

2. What about the first time you heard that statement made it stick with you throughout all this time?

Overall, you have a powerful story to tell and you did a good job. Just make sure that you don't sacrifice the "why I love physical therapy" part in the beginning for a lot of details about "what I've done" in the end.

Undergraduate / I traveled to Poland; Peace Corps: Cross Cultural Essay [3]


If you need to eliminate words, you can take this whole paragraph out. It doesn't really do anything for your essay.

The prompt says to pick one experience. To get more specific, choose one place to talk about. Use some dialogue or an anecdote to illustrate what you're saying, instead of just saying it. Like, for Poland, describe how you acted out something and how the people in your host family reacted. It would put a creative spin on your essay.

Overall, you write very eloquently. Good luck!

Undergraduate / Williams window essay; 'The girl walks slowly into the tack room' [3]

Very powerful; I love it! The only thing I would say is that the prompt wants you to reflect on a moment and you end up commenting on the place / the people in your riding school and the horses (?). If that was the moment when you realized that there are things more powerful than words, such as love and experiences, then you need to state that more explicitly in the last paragraph.