Writing Feedback / IELTS - CAM 5; three different countries population compare [4]

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. (Cambridge ielts 5, page 29)

This is my answer

The line graph provides information about the percentage of people with an age of 65 years or more in the USA, Japan and Sweden, from 1940 to 2040. Overall, it reveals that the proportion of elderly people will increase, particularly in Japan, by the year 2040.

In 1940, aged people in Japan and Sweden were around 5% and 7% of the population respectively. On the other hand, the figure for the USA was higher, at about 9% of the population. From 1940 to 1990, the percentage of elderly people, both in the USA and Sweden, went up gradually to approximately 15% and 13% respectively. By contrast, the figure for Japan decreased to almost 3% during the same period.

By 2040, the proportion of people aged 65 and over is expected to rise further in the USA and Sweden, and reach 23% and 25% respectively. Moreover, the figure for Japan is estimated to increase sharply between 2030 and 2040, and reach 27% by the end of the period.

Any comments are appreciated. Thanks

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Writing Feedback / IELTS - CAM 4 - TASK 1 - DEMAND FOR ELECTRICITY IN ENGLAND [6]

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This is my answer

The line graph compares the daily consumption of electricity in England in two different seasons, winter and summer. The pie chart provides information about how electricity is consumed in a typical English household.

It is noticeable that the largest demand for electricity is during the coldest months of the year, and this consumption is double if compared with the one in summer. Furthermore, the largest proportion of power consumed by English families, 52,5%, is used to heat rooms and water.

The daily consumption of electricity during winter fluctuates between 30000 units in morning hours and 45000 units in the evening. On the other hand, the demand in summer is much lower an less variable, with figures between 13000 units in the morning and 20000 units in the early afternoon. Moreover, both in winter and summer electricity consumption has its bottom between 6 a.m. and 9 p.m..

Looking at the pie chart, the remaining 50% of power consumed is equally distributed in three slices. Almost 18% of that is used for ovens, kettles and washing machines, while 15% is consumed for lighting, televisions and radios. The other 15% is utilized for vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electric tools.

Any comments are appreciated. Thanks

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: different levels of post-school qualifications in australia in 1999 [NEW]

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This is my answer

The bar chart compares five different types of higher education qualifications and the percentage of Australian men and women who had them in the year 1999.

At first glance we can see that skilled vocational diplomas were far more popular among males than females, while undergraduate diplomas were more common between women. On the other hand, almost the same proportion of men and women held a Bachelor's degree in 1999.

Around 70% of postgraduate diploma holders were males, whereas 30% were females. Moreover, a higher proportion of men than women (60% and 40% respectively) held a Master's degree in 1999. By contrast, 70% of those who held an undergraduate diploma were women.

Only 10% of skilled vocational diploma holders were females, compared to a ninefold figure for males, at around 90%. On the contrary, the smallest gender difference is at the Bachelor's degree level, where men and women accounted for approximately 50% each.

Any comments are appreciated. Thanks

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Writing Feedback / IELTS-CAM4-TRAVEL TO AND FROM THE UK AND MOST POPULAR COUNTRIES FOR UK RESIDENTS [4]

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

This is my answer

The line graph illustrates how many people travelled to and from the UK over a period of 20 years. The bar chart provides information about the most visited countries by UK residents in 1999.

It is noticeable that between 1979 and 1999 visits to and from the UK both increased, but the latter rose the most. Additionally, European countries such as France and Spain were among the most preferred by UK citizens.

In 1979, around 13 million UK tourists travelled abroad, while 10 million overseas residents visited the UK. Over the next 20 years, the number of people travelling to and from the UK rose. However, while the former reached approximately 25 million in 1999, the latter experienced a twofold increase, reaching around 50 million in the same year.

Looking at the bar chart, France and Spain were visited by 11 million and 9 million British people respectively. On the other hand, Greece and Turkey were the least popular countries, with only 3 million and 2 million UK visitors respectively. The figure for the USA was slightly higher, at around 3.5 million.

I have a couple of questions:
1 - In this phrase: "visits to and from the UK both increased, but the latter rose the most". Is it an error to put "both" before increased? Does it sound better without it?

2 - Another thing, "but the latter rose the most" Is it ok? or is it better to say: but the latter experienced a higher rise?

Any other comment is appreciated. Thanks.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS - the largest percentage of consumer spending in each country went on food/drinks/tobacco [3]

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relavant. Write at least 150 words

This is my answer

The table illustrates the proportion of money spent by consumers on three different categories of goods and services in five countries in 2002.

It is noticeable that the largest percentage of consumer spending in each country went on food/drinks/tobacco, while the lowest on leisure/education. Furthermore, Turkey and Ireland were the countries with the highest overall proportion of expenditure.

In 2002, spending on food, drinks and tobacco was particularly higher in Turkey and Ireland, at around 32% and 29% respectively. By contrast, the corresponding figure for Sweden was much lower, at nearly 16%. In addition, Sweden had also the lowest percentage of consumer expenditure for the clothing/footwear category, at 5.40%.

The table also shows that the highest proportion of spending on leisure/education was in Turkey, at 4.35%, whereas the lowest was in Spain, at only 2%. On the other hand, Italy had a significantly higher percentage of consumer expenditure for clothing/footwear, at 9%.

Any comment is appreciated. Thanks.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS-CAM 9-TASK 1-ISLAND BEFORE AND AFTER THE CONSTRUCTION OF TOURIST FACILITIES [4]

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

This is my answer

The maps illustrate the changes to an island after the development of tourism infrastructure.

It is clear that the island has changed significantly after the introduction of tourism. Before the development took place there were only some palm trees and a beach, while now there are facilities and attractions available for tourists.

Looking at the second map, the access to the island was made possible through the construction of a pier on the south coast, which is connected to the reception by a vehicle track. This road also links the reception to the restaurant, on the north side of the island, where guests can eat.

Visitors stay in huts located in both the centre and the west side of the island, with each hut connected to others by means of footpaths. Tourists can now enjoy themselves with activities such as swimming at the beach on the west coast, and sailing in the south sea.

Any comment is appreciated. Thanks.

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