Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS TASK 1: World Meat Production, 1950-1990 [2]

four kinds of meat production

The line chart illustrates the number of four kinds of meat production in million tons around the world from 1950 to 1990. Overall, the production of Pork, Beef/Buffalo, and Poultry increased noticeably, while Sheep/Goats were produced steadily over the period.

In the beginning of the period, Pork and Beef/Buffalo started just below 20 million tons and Poultry stood at 5 million tons. By 1960, there was a significant growth of Beef/Buffalo until finally it overtook Pork's position for around 40 million tons in 1970. However, Pork's production went up sharply, leaving Beef/Buffalo under and reached the highest amount of production in 1990 by 60 million tons. Moreover, Poultry production had a moderately rise in the first 30 years and it climb dramatically in the last decade for approximately 30 million tons.

The different trend has been show by Sheep/Goat's production, which it stood at 5 million tons in 1950 and remained stable during first 30 years. Futhermore, there was a slight growth for around 1 million ton in the last 10 years.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: THE SHOWING OF VIOLENCE ON TELEVISION HAS BAD INFLUENCE ON CHILDREN [2]

Question: These days, we are seeing an increase amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

The increasing of the number of criminal activities showed in media may give bad impact on children's behavior. This essay will agree with this idea. This is because children are easy to follow something new as they still have fresh brain. Moreover, it may give some traumas to children as the result they will afraid of meet strange people.

Children always feel curious and accept the information automatically. This is because they are still plain and it showed after they watch bad shows on television. To illustrate, a child often watches films which showed some violence tends to be harsh. They sometimes follow the activities on television such as screaming, throwing goods and yelling to their parents and make their parents become afraid to them. As the result, it creates children's personality become rude and destructive to each other.

Moreover, there are some impacts which create the opposite character of children from violence's shows on television. This is because not all children have the same character in responding of the information. For example, for several children feel afraid when watching the showing of violence on films. It creates their behavior to be wary to all new people they met. Therefore, it makes children's development grows slow and they will be uncommunicative.

To sum up, violence's shows which published in media influence children's personality that may change their original personality in two different characters those are angry and silent. Therefore, parent's characters are more important in giving education to their children and look after their children's activities is the best way which done by parents.

Writing Feedback / Internet is something that people use to make their live become easier. IELTS TASK 2 [4]

IELTS TASK 2: INTERNET MAKES HUMAN LIFE MORE CONVENIENT

Internet is something that people use to make their live become easier. Almost people in cities use internet everyday in their activities and there are some people cannot do their activity without using internet. Although internet makes information more accessible, I think not all information in internet is true and suitable to know that probably cause criminality.

It is argued that the internet makes people's life become easier. This is because internet gives an easy way for people to do their activities. Internet also provides a lot of information in one type merely. For example, when someone wants to read newspaper and watch the news, he does not need to go anywhere. He can stay at home and use the internet to do all he wants. Therefore, using internet can help people to succeed their activities.

A lot of information are provided by internet can fill people's need, but not all of them are reliable to accept. This is because there are some information in internet is not true and may give negative impacts. For example, there are some radical communities who shared their opinions believed by society and create social disturbance. It is one of impact that caused by internet. Thus, the internet does not always make people's life feel comfortable.

To sum up, while using internet helps us to solve all problems in short time, I prefer to argue that not all information in internet makes people more confident. Therefore, it will be better if citizens should sort the information in the internet before they judge it.

Writing Feedback / Overall, British Museum was by far the most popular of the three London museums visited by people [4]

IELTS TASK 1: The Number of Visitors to Three London Museums in 2013

The line graph provides information about the total of visitors visiting three London museums during four months in summer 2013, between June and September, and counted in thousands.

Overall, British Museum was by far the most popular of the three London museums visited by people while Science Museum had the lowest number of visitors.

Between June and July, the total of people who visit British Museum rose from around 600 to just over 750 thousands of people. During the same period, the difference between Science and Natural history museum was widened. However, in a month later Natural figure tend to have significant fall, while a slight decrease was seen in science museum visitors. This made the gap between the museums was less marked.

Between August and September, all museums experienced an upward trend. While a same trend showed in figure for both science and natural history, British kept its record as by far the most immense place to be visited.

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Writing Feedback / The media should prefer to show ordinary people's life than celebrities's life [3]

The media shows many kinds of TV programs such as entertainer's daily activity shows and ordinary people's live shows. While both of shows give many inspirations to citizen, I feel that ordinary people's live shows are more attractive because it increase people care toward ordinary people.

Entertainer's daily activity shows also give many inspirations. This is because they give some innovations for people to reach success. Zaskia Adya Mecca, for example, is an Indonesian entertainer who has reached success since in youth. She shows us that all human can do many things at the same time as she is an entertainer, entrepreneur, and a mother. It is thus that showing of entertainer's daily activity give inspirations about the ways become success.

Ordinary people's live shows may catch more people's attention. This is because it shows how to survive in life for poor people. For example, teens cannot go to school as they have to work to find money for eating. It also makes people cry and feel pity of them when they watch it. Therefore, ordinary people's live shows are more interesting and increase people sympathy toward ordinary people.

In conclusion, although Entertainer's daily activity shows creates people's mind to be innovative doing their life, I tend to take a side of showing of Ordinary people's live which consist of the reality to survive in life as it is more educational. Where possible, people not only look at the upside but also have to look the downside of poor people.

Writing Feedback / The Most Favorite Leader in Indonesia by Grahyta [3]

Leadership is the human ability to enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task. People in this world have someone or a leader or some leader who admired. In my opinion, people must have figure who are admired to give motivations in their life. In my life, I have two leaders who admired. They are leaders that work in my country, Indonesia.

Ir. Basuki Tjahaja Purnama, M.M is one of leader who admired. He was a governor of DKI Jakarta who started since November 19th, 2014. People usually call him as Ahok. He was born in Manggar, East Belitung on June 29th, 1996. Before he is being a governor, he was a governor deputy of DKI Jakarta. He had changed Jokowi's (Joko Widodo) position since Jokowi started as president of Indonesia. He graduated from Trisakti University and Presetya Mulya Business School. He was a member of commission II of the House of Representatives for the 2009-2004 term. He is ever been a regent in East Belitung.

He started his popularity when he was being a candidate of governor deputy and he has showed in television in many times. I know him in television at the first time. In addition, I started to search his profiles and biography on the internet. Also, I searched about him on Youtube to know how he promoted hisself as a candidate of governor deputy.

Second leader who is the most favorite is Dr. (H.C) Ir. Tri Rismaharini, M.T. She is very well known, not only in Indonesia but also in others country. As such she is ever been the first lady who selected as the best mayor of the world in 2014. Also, I know her from television who informed her as the best mayor of the world in 2014.

Risma, she usually called by others people was born in Kediri, East Java on November 20th, 1961. She is a mayor of Surabaya since September 28th, 2010. Risma is the first lady who selected as a mayor of Surabaya. She is very bravely to tackle problems in Surabaya.

Ahok is the same as Risma to tackle problems in Indonesia. They are bravely leaders. Therefore, those are admired by people. Also, the thing that makes me become their admire is their resoluteness to maintain laws in Indonesia. I want all leader in Indonesia becoming leaders like them and bringing the citizen as priority in their life. They do not only think about money or themselves but also think about development in Indonesia and make Indonesia to a better country.