Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by wulanbila16
Name: Dwi Wulandari
Joined: Jan 28, 2016
Last Post: Mar 19, 2016
Threads: 14
Posts: 7  
From: Indonesia
School: Yogyakarta State University

Displayed posts: 21
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
wulanbila16   
Mar 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Apparent differences between populations in Yemen and Italy - IELTS Task 1 [2]

The pie charts illustrate the percentages of Yemen and Italy population categorized based on the ages in 2000 and its prediction in 2050. Overall, it can be seen that almost all period of time in both countries are dominated by adults.

Turning to more detail analysis, the percentage of Yemen adults in 2000 was 46.3 percent and will increase by 11 percent in 2050. However, these numbers are lower than that of Italy. In 2000, Italy had 61.6 percent adults and, unfortunately, it will decrease dramatically to 46.2 percent. Another category, 0-14 year old, in Yemen are more than that in Italy. In contrast, the percentages of old people in Yemen are less than that in Italy. Yemen had 50.1 percent children in 2000 and this number will fall steadily to 37. The percentage of old people in this country will rise smoothly from 3.6 to 5.7 percent that are the least percentages of Yemen population. Meanwhile, the children population of Italy will decrease from 14.3 to 115 percent which are the least population of this country. Finally, Italy had 24.1 percent old people in 2000 and will rise to 42.3 percent in 2050.



  • unnamed.jpg
wulanbila16   
Mar 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Taks 2 _ Are sport facilities less useful to maintain public health? [2]

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.


________________________________________________

Nowadays, public health becomes an ultimate concern of all countries around the world. It encourages them to make some efforts to maintain it. According to this, some people believe that adding more sport facilities is the best solution because people can use it to keep their body fit. However, other people argue that such facilities do not give a major impact and it is better to require other facilities such as hospital and healthy food centre. Apart from these opinions, I believe that providing several facilities can be better in order to facilitate different needs of citizens in maintaining their health.

In one point of view, increasing the number of sport facilities become essential because, by using this facilities, inhabitants can keep their body fit. Sport centre can trigger people to do more physical activities. According to an official statistic, the awareness and the willingness of people to maintain their health is increasing when the government provide a proper sport facility. The citizens tend to do routine exercise, so the public health percentage increases gradually. It proves that adding more sport centre can be a good way to improve public health.

In another hand, others believe that the effect of sport facilities is not significant since they realize that sport is not the only factor affecting human's health. People need to consider another factor such as healthy food. These days, such foods have been difficult to be found. Moreover, citizens tend to too busy to prepare their own food. So, it becomes important to provide healthy food centre. In addition, it is also necessary to improve public services such as hospital. People can use this facility to get rid of their disease and diagnose their condition in order to know what the best treatment or daily habit is needed to avoid from illness. Accordingly, these facilities will be more helpful for inhabitants to maintain their health.

All in all, it is evident that both views have strong reasons to be a consideration in maintaining public health. It may be a better solution if the country provides more than one facilities for its people, so they can use the facilities according to their needs.
wulanbila16   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Recruitment percentage of teachers who teach English and French languages in Canada [2]

A breakdown of recruitment percentage of teachers who teach English and French languages in Ontario from 2001 to 2007 is illustrated by the line graph. Overall, it can be seen that the employment of French-language teachers had a upward trend meanwhile that of English-language teachers was in reverse.

Turning to more detail analysis, in the first two years, both English and French language teachers had a similar number and trend of employment. In 2001, the percentage of English and French language teachers' recruitment stood at around 70 then decreased to 58% and 53% respectively in 2002.

In the next years, these categories started to show differences. In 2003, the number of English teacher recruitment fell by 18% meanwhile that of French teachers rose by 15%. 2003 to 2005 saw steady increases of both languages by around 3%. The downward trend of English-language teachers' employment continued to the lowest percentage in the end of period. In contrast, although the number of French-language teachers' recruitment dropped in 2006, it still had a high percentage and rose again to 74% in 2007.



  • 267118_1_o.jpg
wulanbila16   
Feb 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Taks 2 _ Media has a tendency to explore whose story that can give them more benefits [2]

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

____________________________________________________________________

Most lifestyles imitated by people depend on what media shows to public. Nowadays, the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballers get too much attention of media because these kinds of news can attract a lot of consumers. I strongly believe that media should provide a larger space to report the ordinary people's stories which can inspire the readers.

On one hand, it is no doubt that media has a tendency to explore whose story that can give them more benefits. They present so many hot issues about celebrities so that they get more and more viewers. The more audience read their news, the higher income they get. According to an official statistic, a rating of news program increases dramatically when it presents gossip segments. Although the audiences realize that that news cannot give a good impact, they still choose to see it. Automatically, the profit of media companies will also rise. The media get advantages by reporting these kinds of news.

However, the lives of ordinary people who have inspiring stories should be reported much more often. Instead showing so many problems and negative sides of celebrities, the media has to explore the inspiring story of common people, so the audiences can see good role models to be imitated. A survey conducted by social science students released that more than 60 percent people who donate to charities regularly are inspired by social programs on TV. It is clear that media should spend more time to report common people's lives which can motivate the audiences to do something good.

To sum up, it is evident that reporting inspiring stories of ordinary people is more humanists and can influence more people to do good activities than only focusing on celebrities' lives and relationships. The media have to present the role models to society instead of going for profit only.
wulanbila16   
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Taks 1 _ Housing designs for cool and for warm climates [2]

The diagrams below show some principles of house design for cool and for warm climates.
______________________________________________________

The diagrams compare two housing designs that can be applied based on the climate condition. Overall, it can be seen that the main differences between both designs are related to the roof, insulation and window.

The roof of house in cool climate has a high-angled shaped so as to ease the sunlight to get into the house. Meanwhile, the house in warm climate has a triangle-shaped roof made of reflective material. The tips of this roof are used to hinder the entry of sunlight.

In cool-climate design, the insulation covered by thermal building material inside is put on all part of walls and under the roof, so it can decrease the heat loss. In the other type of house, the insulation is only put under the roof.

The window of cool-climate house is installed to orient the sun, so much more heat from the sun can be catch. Meanwhile, the house in warm climate has more than one window that can be closed in the day and are shaded by the roof. In the night, the windows can be opened to make an air circulation, so the overheating atmosphere can be removed.



  • 6a0120a5bb05d8970c01.png
wulanbila16   
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / The frozen pies are stored on the container to hold the heat - Fish Pie manufacturing process [2]

According to the figure, there are two major process in the pies making process. (It is better if you mention the processes in introduction briefly )

The ingredients consist of peas, sauce, and also potato and fish as the main recipe.

... trucks delivery bring potatoes from the farm and also fresh salmon from the farm . Firstly, the potatoes are cleaned and continuingcontinue to go through peeling machine ...

At the same time, the salmons are spentstored more or less half ...
... the potato slices are boiled and gobrought to the store machine.

Turning to the wrapping system, there will beis a group of workers towho will remove salmons'salmon's skin and bones before ...
... in which it travels along to be mix with prepared peas, ...
... fish pies are ready to be distributed .
wulanbila16   
Feb 5, 2016
Writing Feedback / People can increase the quality of learning outcomes by knowing the most effective way to learn [2]

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in groups, while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

__________________________________________________________

By knowing the most effective way to learn, people can increase the quality of learning outcomes. Most people believe that studying in groups can make students easier to understand the subject because they can help each other. On the other side, others argue that the silent situation of studying alone is the best way that can support pupils to have good concentration. However, I strongly believe that each student has different tendency how to learn more comfortably. Both ways can be applied based on each character and habit.

The benefit of studying in group is that the students can do peer teaching. For some pupils, it is much more effective because they can ask or confirm the subject shamelessly. A survey conducted by a team of psychology department explains that some students are more bashful to tell their learning difficulties to their teachers or parents. They prefer to study with their friends so as to they can discuss the lesson more freely. It is clear that peer teaching can make students being more enjoyed in learning process.

However, it does not mean that all pupils have the same method to study. Some students feel that they cannot concentrate to grasp the lesson unless they study alone. They need a comfort and silent condition in order to focus on the learning materials. According to an official statistic, some students involved in an experiment got higher marks when they studied in reposeful situation before they had a test. This research evinces that some pupils learn more effectively when they are alone.

In conclusion, it can be understand that both parties have strong reasons to hold their opinion. However, it is evident that all students do not have the same approach to learn more effectively. Teachers and parents should fathom this trend, so they can apply an appropriate method to each student.
wulanbila16   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / Stokeford village: selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant [2]

The maps below show the village of Stokeford in 1930 and in 2010.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

_________________________________________________

The development of Stokeford village over 8 decades is illustrated on the maps. Overall, it can be seen that Stokeford had lost much agricultural area. In any case, the amount of housing was increasing.

Turning to more detail analysis, in 1930 the major area of Stakeford village was covered by husbandry which spread widely from the northern to the western area. There were only a few houses and public buildings such as primary school, shops, and post office.

80 years later, the infrastructure had been developed indicated by the rising of new road number. The new streets were established in four locations: two roads were in the right side of main road and two others were in the left side, near the river. A lot of accommodation was built along these roads. The number of houses was much more than that in 1930. The farmland and shops were not there anymore. However, two public building were improved to be better and larger. For instance, two primary school's buildings were added and the large house was rebuilt to be a retirement home.



  • village_of_stokeford.jpg
wulanbila16   
Feb 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS2 - Overpopulation problem causes: ineffective birth control and an increase of free-sex cases [2]

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

____________________________________

World's population rises year by year. It is believed that this trend has become the global problem which is caused by some factors such as an ineffective birth control and an increase of free-sex case. I strongly agree with this statement because the upward trend in population growth inflicts many social problems.

This continued rise is caused by a lack control of birthrate. Many people do not have good knowledge to plan for having baby. Others have some reasons related to cultural tradition to have a lot of children. In China, for example, are many parents that have more than five children. As a consequence, this country has the largest number of residents in the world. Also, the cause of this problem is the rise of free sex. Unplanned birth of promiscuity has contributed large number of population. According to an official statistic, 5 to 10 percent of increased population is resulted from pregnancy of free sex offenders. It is clear that this activity contributes great enough number of population percentage.

Nowadays, the uncontrolled increase of world's residents has become the main problem which causes much more dire impacts for humidity. Firstly, it causes infrastructural problems. The more population increase, the more houses and other facilities are needed. If the government or people themselves cannot provide more accommodation cheaply and quickly, the number of homeless people will rise rapidly. In addition, a very large population can make crime rate increasing. Following the rise of professional competition, the number of unemployment will increase. However, they still need to fulfill their basic needs. As a result, they will do anything to get money, even by using wrong ways.

In conclusion, it is evident that the continued increase in global population is caused by the bad control of birth and mass cases of free sex. This problem becomes the largest issue nowadays because has caused many disadvantages for humans' lives. Government and all people should cooperate to solve this problem.
wulanbila16   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / TASK 1: Annual Energy Usage of The USA from 1980 to 2030 [3]

in the USA measured in Quadrillon units from 1980 to 2030 , as the projected year, in a half-century period is presented

... 5 Quadrillon less than natural gas at 15 and 20 respectively . In the next following years, there was a fluctuatefluctuation in the amount of (...) choice in 2030 which will reacheds approximately 48 Quadrillon.

..that there iswas an ascending trend for (...) solar/wind and hydropower showed a steady trend.
wulanbila16   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Population of Urban Areas in all continents except Australia over eight decades [2]

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of inhabitants who live in cities around the world and in all continents except Australia over eight decades. Overall, it can be seen that world and all continents showed in chart had upward trend and it is estimated that this trend will continue until 2030. In any case, developed continents have higher percentage than developing continents.

North America had the largest percentage during the period and also had a slight rise by 15% from 1950 to 2007. Europe percentage was the second largest in 1950, but it became the third in 2007 due to Latin America Caribbean which had only 42% population in the first year experienced a significant increase by 34% in 2007.

1950 to 2007 saw a large increase in the percentage of urban areas' population of Africa and Asia by 22% and 24% respectively. The estimated rises of these two continents in 2030 were 13% and 14%, around twice more than those of developing continents. Meanwhile, the number of world's citizen rose by 20% in 2007 and is estimated that will rise again to 60%.



  • Graphic2.jpg
wulanbila16   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / Online video games as a useful educational tool [2]

....others argue that these are not good for them.

The BBC news reported in March 2015 declare that 70% of Japanese children ....

This results in children playing game online improving their second language. (make sure that you make a proper reducing.)

They have a lack tendency of physical exercise....

....after video games isare introduced considerably.

...they also give rise to reducingreduce the time doingto do physical exercise. Whereif possible
wulanbila16   
Feb 3, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 _ Juvenile delinquency has become a headline topic to talk about since a long time ago. [2]

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries.
Discuss some possible reasons for the increase and suggest solutions.


__________________________________________________

Juvenile delinquency has become a headline topic to talk about since a long time ago. Unfortunately, many countries had a rapid rise of crime rate among the youth. I strongly believe that this is because the teenagers have wrong role models or come from a problematic family. It is very important to solve this problem by involving government to provide a better education and upgrading the sense of responsibility of people who have relationship with the teens.

Nowadays, young people have been lost an exemplary. In any case, there are some role models but teenagers have failed to choose the good one. Instead imitating the attitude of hero or heroin who have a lot of inspiring stories, they prefer to follow bad people who have a dire temper or show a criminal behavior. In addition, the youth commit crimes in the light of wrong upbringing. There are many parents that have not enough ability to bring their children up. Some others have a huge problem in their marriage. Therefore, the impacts of this issue are influenced their children physically and mentally. According to an official statistic, the more broken-home cases are happened, the more crime rate among teenagers increases.

To solve this problem firstly need a support from government. They should supply much more decent education for young people, so teenagers can upgrade their knowledge and improve their perpective about life to be mature and more responsible. Furthermore, parents, teachers, or other adults personally have to take a role in accompanying them to learn about positive values of society. They must be a friend who will always be there when the teen need to share.

To sum up, I believe that the main factors of crime rate among teenagers are the lessening of exemplary who can be imitated and the bad condition of family where they grow up. Government and people around them should be more responsible to change this dire trend.
wulanbila16   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / An upward 'spending on books' trend during the ten-year period in four European countries [2]

A breakdown of the amount of book's expense measured in US dollars in four Europe's countries from 1995 to 2005 is illustrated in the given line graph. Overall, it clearly can be seen that all countries had an upward trend during the ten-year period although Germany and Italy had experienced a fall once. In any case, Germany was the country which had the largest amount of expense over the period.

In the first year, Germany's expense of books stood at 80 that was the largest amount of all countries. It rose gradually to 90 in 1999 and dropped by 5 from 1999 to 2003. In the last year, it increased again by 10. Though Germany had a steady decrease once, it remained to be the first country with the largest amount. As Germany, Italy also had a gradual fall from 1997 to 1999. However, the amount of Italy's spending rose again in the rest of period.

During the ten years, France's expenditure amount increased steadily by 20 dollars. Although Austria had the same pattern as France, it had experienced a constant amount from 1999 to 2000. 2003 witnessed an intersection between Italy and Austria. As a consequence, Austria which had the lowest amount in the beginning of period became the third country having the largest amount of money spent on books in the last year.



  • 12626203_10206911518.jpg
wulanbila16   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The sum of airplane's passengers in John F Kennedy, LaGuardia and Newark Airport from 1995 to 2000 [2]

The bar graph describes the sumchanges in the number of airplane's passengersmeasured in millions in John F Kennedy, LaGuardia ...
Overall, it is noticeable that LaGuardia attracts the most visitors during ...

... stood at around 27 millions in 1995, thenwitnessedfluctuationfluctuated over the year until, and reached about 45 millions in the end of the timespan. In contrast, there was a sharp roserisen experienced by LaGuardia Airport alongduring time frame, from (...) much higher than two other airplanes. Following that, Newark Airport visitors number had increased in first 4-year period between more or less around 17 millions and over 40 millions. Afterwards, it evened out at over 40 millions for the following year. (meaningless, cannot be understood)
wulanbila16   
Feb 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / High-rise apartment, the cause of community spirit decreasing - IELTS 2 [3]

Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those who live in houses.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


_________________________________________________

Where people live determines their social sensitivity. Most people argue that a person who lives in a multi-storey apartment has a better sense of society than who lives in a house because the distance between two flats is very close. However, I strongly believe that such accommodation decrease their social spirit since they only care about the neighborhood in the same floor.

The short gap between one door to another door of high-rise apartment can make people more sociable. They will not feel lonely because they can greet and talk to other tenants. It can be seen at one of flats in Jakarta city. The occupants claim that they have an intensive interaction with their neighbors. The short distance between the rooms makes them easier to see and know each other. It shows that people still have a community spirit although they live in a tall tower.

Nevertheless, the sense of socializing had the major degradation because the activities done in such apartment make them only knowing the denizens who live in the same floor, especially in apartment which have elevators. A study done by a team of state university reveals that most people who live in a multi-storey accommodation only go out when they have affairs and walk directly to the escalator because some reasons such as in hurry or others. As a result, they have less time to communicate with their neighbors moreover who live in other floors. It is clear that such building can make the sense of community declining.

In conclusion, it is evident that people who live in high-rise apartment are easy to loss their society spirit. It is better if the occupants of such accommodation allocate their particular time to socialize with others.
wulanbila16   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS2: Inventors vs Doctors - both professions have the same significant role in people's lives. [2]

Inventors are not as important to society as doctors. To what extent do you agree whit this statement?

_____________________________________________________________

Inventors and doctors have major influence in human's life. However, there is an argument that doctors are more important than inventors. Responding this statement, I strongly believe that the inventors are as essential as doctors to community.

It is no doubt that doctor takes an important role in society. Thus, all members of community can experience the benefit of doctor's services directly. Doctors support the quality of life by providing the opportunity to have a healthier life, to survive from diseases, and to live longer. In a surgery, for instance, a doctor is a person who leads and determines the surgery whether it run successfully or not. By doing the surgery, the doctor can help people to get rid of their illness. Without them, there are so many patients that loss hope to have better future.

Nevertheless, inventors also give benefits for people. They create some new inventions which can also improve the quality of life and make people's works easier than before. Wright Brothers, for example, invented a new, basic flying machine which now has been improved to be an airplane that can bring many passengers to their destinations trough the sky. Due to their invention, people can go to anywhere effectively. It is clear that the existence of inventors in society is very essential for people themselves.

To sum up, it is evident that both jobs have the same significant role in humans' lives. Although some inventors are not as famous as doctors and experience a lot of failures in their life, people should respect them.
wulanbila16   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - Positives Versus Negatives of Computer Games for Children [2]

...but they will have a negative sideeffect in their social lives...

They have several targets in games in almost every second and...

points out that gamers usually do not replace their offline social lives with online game playing because
wulanbila16   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / TASK 1: The USA and The UK Expenditure of Petrol [2]

As the salary rise, the more proportion it will take to pay in petrol from people's fee.

However, residents with average fees spend about 4 untilto 5% of their salary to the fuel.
wulanbila16   
Feb 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / The year of 2009 saw a dramatic increase in Japan's sale of hybrid vehicles [3]

The given bar chart illustrates data about global sale of transports using both fuel and electricity in USA, Japan, and other countries from 2006 to 2009. Overall, it can be seen that America had the largest number of hybrid vehicle sale in the first three years, but Japan came out top in the last year. Also, the total sales in 2009 increased just over two times than that in the first year.

In 2007, the number of America's hybrid transportation sales rose rapidly from 250,000 to 350,000. It was the highest level of sales during four-year period. Unfortunately, it decreased to almost 300,000 in 2008 and dropped again in 2009 to 280,000.

In contrast, Japan had upward trend over four years. In 2006, it had the same number of sales as other countries, only just over 50,000 sales. Then, the sale number increased slightly in 2007 and 2008. 2009 saw a dramatic increase in Japan's sale number by 250,000. In that year, Japan dominated the sale of hybrid vehicle. Meanwhile, other countries only increased steadily during the period.



  • IMG20160201WA0001..jpg
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳