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Posts by Dipa19
Name: Dipa19
Joined: Aug 11, 2016
Last Post: Sep 6, 2016
Threads: 8
Posts: 13  

From: Indonesia
School: Fresh graduate

Displayed posts: 21
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Dipa19   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / You have just arrived in a new city where you are studying English - write letter to a friend [3]

You have just arrived in a new city where you are studying English
Write a letter to an old friend. In your letter
- explain where you are and why
- describe where you are staying
- describe how you have been enjoying yourself.


Dear Ellyta,

Hello Ellyta, how are you? Are you okay? I really miss you. Now I live in Pare and study English here. I live with many people from various types area of Indonesia. I settle in camp English Studio.

I live with the landlady. Where the owner of the house is very kind and friendly. In there the owner opened food stall.
I stay in Davinci camp, the place is very comfortable, I sleep in a large room with a single mattress. In the bedroom, there are many paintings that adorn the house, because the landlady is an artist.

Last week I went to Malang city, I rode by motorcycle. The way is awesome because views of the hill are outstanding. After that, I stopped to rest and enjoy the beautiful city. I was so happy to visit the Malang city use the motorcycle for the first time, and I am very enjoyed here because I feel like my home.

I would really like to hear from you. Write back soon.

With love

Edgar
Dipa19   
Sep 6, 2016
Writing Feedback / Write a letter to the manager of the football club - IELTS WRITING TASK 1 GENERAL TRAINING [2]

You are looking for a part-time job at a football club.
Write a letter to the manager of the football club. In your letter:
-introduce yourself
-explain what experience and special skills you have
-tell him/her when you think you could start


Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Edgar Yunio Dipayana Arane, I am from Solo. I am writing this letter to apply for a part-time job in your club football because I wish to obtain work experience in your club football and I need more money for the necessities of life here.

It has been my experience in the world of football is winning the game of the province, regency, subdistrict got champion one. I have the potential for the forward, and specialists as captain also when there is a match I often to be top scores in the game. On the other hand, I am now a football coach in one of club football, Pelita Solo.

When the best day that I can start to the part-time job. Do I have to come to the club football after the period position of coach it has been done or you have other planning that can suit for me.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Your sincerely
Dipa19   
Sep 1, 2016
Writing Feedback / Letter to a friend, asking for help - IELTS WRITING TASK 1 GENERAL TRAINING [4]

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend.

In your letter:
Give details of your study plans explain
why you want to get a part-time job
suggest how your friend could help you find a job


Dear Arti,

Hallo how are you? Are you okay? Now, I live in Solo and I want to study plan in your country. Next year I program to continue further studies master's degree, the major is management business at Queensland University. I schedule in there for two years and I need a place to stay there.

I schedule there is not only learn but I want to take a part-time job, because in there I do not get a scholarship so I have to pay the study fees myself. In addition I still have to disburse a boarding house, the cost to eat everyday, and I want to find the experience to work abroad.

I would be grateful if you could help me to get a job in your country. Maybe you can find a job vacancy in accordance with my criteria or maybe you have acquaintances company that is in need of employees and may be important documents what should I take it.

I would really like to hear from you. Write back soon.

Best wishes,

Dipa.
Dipa19   
Aug 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and how to minimize the bad effects? [3]

Nowadays, many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games.
What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize to bad effects?


Some people in the world have a lot of access to computers on a massive and children playing computer games in bulk. In my perspective playing computer games give a negative effect, such as make children lazy to learn and become addictive. As for some ways to minimize the negative impacts such as the limit for children to playing games, and not make children to accustom with playing games from childhood.

Playing games too often make the children become lazy to learn, because the dependence of children playing games will make an intensity of the study go down, and time that is supposed to learn to be used to playing the games so that children will tend to be lazy. It will also a result achievement children become ugly and make eyes the children pain because too often in front of the computer then eventually have to wear glasses.

In terms of the solution to minimize the negative effect by this means to limit the children in playing computer games, and not make children familiarize themselves playing games from childhood. Because if it is a habit difficult to remove, but also parents should give a special ban to children. For examples do not give pocket money when the school grades are bad, or should playing computer games if the school grades are good.

To sum up, in some countries children are playing games too often will make to dependence and the children become lazy also do not want to learn. In addition to minimizing demerit impact by the means of imposing the limit on children playing games and also make the children not to habituate to playing games. I would suggest parents to give more attention to their children since the influence of the parents is very important to the growth of children.
Dipa19   
Aug 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Natural deterioration has became a major concern in any part across the globe. [3]

Hi Jomul..
I'd like to give you a hand...

Natural deterioration has becamebecome a major concern in ...
... regarding to this pressing issues only could only be performed by a big company and business, ...

Those that support this developing issue argue that the large companies and ...
They have not only have asset to fund the programs, but also they havethe people to execute ...
Taking Pertamina as an example, thisan Indonesian oil company had succeed (...) in several Indonesia jungle areas in Indonesia .

I hope this is helpful. Please re-check it again. ;)
Dipa19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / SUmmary TEDtalk: the first 21 days of a bee's life [3]

Hi Fadhilah.. I'd like to give you some suggestion..

... insufficient because there are some trouble on it.
Bees isare insects that have most ...
... begun from larva which is swim in the white glue, then their head and leg differentiate, (...) step is body's changes to spread out.

Based on the bees problems, the scientist has discovered ...
... manipulate and exploit them to get the highest quality of bees.

(Enter)

In conclusion, Anand Varma said ...

I agree with daya, may you can try to re-organized the process.. Tq
Dipa19   
Aug 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / The spread of the internet issue - IELTS TASK 4: FULLY-DEVELOPED EXAMPLES [4]

... great advantages of the internet which is provided in educational field.
Studentsand they(use the conjunction) requires any references to ...
... student had to go to the library and search the book one by one the book which is needed.
... research data are saved(maybe you can use = available) on the internet.
... newspapers and books also can be podcast(maybe you can use = downloded) on internet.
... because internet is available virtually in every place.
Dipa19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / For three decades, Internet has provided spectacular influence to the communication system [2]

Hi.. I'd like to give you some suggestion..

For three decades, the Internet has been provided spectacular influence to the communication system (...) major breakthrough has been effected theon the way people live journey .

... some people who disagree,arguearguing that not all of information on the internet is assuredassurely truth.
Dipa19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary: Dyslexic Designers Just Think Different-Maybe Even Better [3]

Hi Eka... I'd like to give you come correction..

Ordinary people may never thinking(continuous) about an exhibit ...

Actually, this exhibit willwould be opened on September 22, Rokos hopes that this event (...) and changes others perspective about it.
Dipa19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some years ago citizens, who lived in the rural area, knew well another people's in the neighborhood [4]

In the past most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were advantages and disadvantages of living in small community?

Intoduction
Some years ago many people who lived in the rural area. Where they know each person in their area, but today many people in big cities where they only know a few people. I think that living in the rural have a positive effect such as sense of family will be strong, harmony, and secure. Although it also negative effect such do not know about what is happening outside.

Conclusion
To conclude, living in village that have an advantage such as relation of family would be sturdy, harmonious and peaceful. Besaide that there are also disadvantage such people do not know about what phenomenon that occur beyond their area. I would suggest that people who live in the village enhance harmony among mankind.
Dipa19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / 'only a few companies could stick out over 5 years' - WHAT MAKES SMALL BUSINESS SUCCESSFUL ? [6]

Hii rosa, this is my suggest

1. (Don't forget to distinguish between passive and active, use the correct rule)
Small business (is described) as a small company (...) or even less (working) there.

2. A bunch=alot=many=much, dll= more than one (ot can be accountable and unaccountable)
There are a bunch of small (companies) (register) every year, but less than 50% (which/that) survive until the second year.

3. (Which, who, that, whom, etc= relative pronoun= find out the functions!)

4. (subject+verb agreement) and= is not subject. Please put the appropriate subject in the beginning of sentence. Don't use "and" !
And only (a few) companies could stick out over 5 years.
It better like this: "However, there are only a few companies (that could stick out) over 5 years".
Dipa19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Highly-invented-sophisticated technology have most important impact on living standards of mankind [7]

There has been major advances in technology over recent decades and this has led to significant improvement in people's live agree/disagree

Introduction
In this era, some believe that highly-invented-sophisticated technology have most important impact on living standards of mankind. In my standpoint I agree with that statement, because advances technology make people have a lifestyle of hedonism and change people's mindset to leave traditional lifestyle.

Conclusion
To conclude, it is immensely clear that cutting-edge of technology have an important influence on people's over recent decades. I would suggest that people do not affect the lavish lifestyle and remains yourself.
Dipa19   
Aug 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Sumary of Hiking the Inca Trail in The Andes Mountains [11]

Hii aris..this is my suggestion

Macchu Pichu (was) the ancient site in the Andes Mountains and (it) was discoverd by ...
Macchu Pichu had been considered (as) a sacred place ...
Although only few (people) (who) knew about this site, it (seemed that this side was useful for) (observing) the astronomy.


The wonderful architecture and (the) mystery of ancient culture (had attracted) thousand visitors ...
(People) (could) access this site by (used any) vehicle but hiking along Inca trail (was) the most (popular) track.


Along the trip (people) (could) enjoy many (lgsg ae) (magnificent) orchids and birds. The trip (were so well known) since 2005. Eventually(,) the government (had established) the policy to protect (the) natural environment and (ruin).
Dipa19   
Aug 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / People believe that the technology has driven them to face great development in their daily routine [5]

Hi Indrii, this is my suggestion

has changed rapidly and gives a great impact for people live.

"has changed " (using present perfect tense), then you use "gives" in the same sentence. It is not allowed. So, in a sentence should be parallel. If you want to use present perfect just use it in a whole sentence/paragraph...

In english, punctuation is critical. So, be careful if you want / have to use that. Different punctuation/ forgetting the punctuation can change the meanings of the sentence. Don't forget the apostrophe (') it should be people's live

In my educational perspective, I have a tendency to accord this group of people

What do you want to say? I don't catch your meaning. Probably, if you want to say that you are agree just say it.

"In my educational perspective, I (agree) with that because.......... "

For this reason, People believe that technology ("can drive" change with "can help/can support") people to ("face" changes with "sustain") (the) great development in their daily routine...
Dipa19   
Aug 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Parents have been through a lot of things, that's why I believe that they are outstanding teachers [4]

Introduction

In the world people believe that parents are most outstanding teacher. In my standpoint i agree with that opinion, because the parents have been through a lot of things. They could tell his experience valuable to people in order for people does not to repeat mistake and that people could to follow a good track of them.

Conclusion
To sum up, although the teacher in school is a good teacher for the student. I assume that parents are best in the world. I would suggest that people should honor, and respect for their parents who gave birth.
Dipa19   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Summary - Al-Gore New thinking on the climate crisis [2]

Still about the Climate crisis, Al Gore said that the Environtmental challenges fall into three categories: air pollution, water pollution, hazardous waste dumps and also the acid rain. He said that we need a world wide global mobilization for renewable energy, conservation efficiency and a global transition to allow carbon economy. He show us that the last 28 years, the Global warming made the snow on North Polar Ice Melting, puts a lot of preassure on Greendland, The Lake Linier has dry and in fact, the green land of Bolivia on 1975 has changes to be a fullness city on 2003. We have a planet emergency and we have to find a way in our generation a sense of generation mission on the great challenges to set aside the cause of distraction and rise to the challenge that the history is presenting to us. He said that we ought to approach this challenge with a sense of profound joy. we have to safe the human future. He said that we have the capacity to do that. Let's do it!
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