Writing Feedback / A breakdown of figure for the viewers of channel one news between January and December [2]

The graph below shows the average daily figures for Channel One News over a 12-month period

A breakdown of figure for the viewers of channel one news, measured in millions per day between January and December is served in the line chart. Overall, the viewer watching at 6pm news decreased slightly while 1pm visitor remained stable. August experienced a top for 11 pm while for 9.30pm news, it jumped to the lowest point.

Over an 8-month period, it can be seen that the viewers watching 6pm news fluctuated and decreased from just below 5 to just below 3.5. although 11pm news was first introduced on 1st may, it reached a peak 3 months later just above 4 million, the most highest viewers at that time, while 9.30pm program lost its viewers, indicated by decreasing number from just above 3 to just above 1 which was the smallest number of it.

Between august and December, 9.30pm news was gaining its viewers again, indicated by a significant increase to 3. However, there was a significant decrease to just below 1 for 11pmnews while 1pm and 6pm news remained stable below 1.5 and below 3.5 respectively.

(177 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Foreign Language and Mathematics - the subjects with the least disparity between girls and boys [2]

The bar chart below shows the percentage of students who passed their high school competency exams, by subject and gender, during the period 2010-2011.

The proportion of students passing high school competency based on subject and gender between 2010 and 2011 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that Foreign Language and Mathematics were the subjects having the least gap between the girls and boys while the majority of subjects was dominantly passed by girls except for Geography.

First of all, there was a small gap between men and women, which is almost 1 percent for both Mathematics and Foreign Language, and the percentage for both was nearly the same at around 47 percent and 49 percent respectively. The same trend was seen in Physics and History as well. The former got 37 percent for women with around 2 percent gap higher while the latter experienced 25 percent with around 3 percent gap.

The highest gap was seen on Chemistry having a half of women percentage, followed by Computer Science getting 56.3 percent for girls and 42.1 percent for boys. In contrast, the Geography subject was passed dominantly by boys having around 30 percent while the women got one in ten lower than men.

(183 Words)

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Writing Feedback / In this modern era, the pressure is faced by not only older people, but also children. [2]

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

In this modern era, the pressure is faced by not only older people, but also children. The problems consist of academic, social, and commercial matters. This essay will first discuss the causes of the obstacles, which are the national examination, bullying, and the expensive books, then present that grading based on understanding, making attention on children's behavior, and using library books can be the solutions of the problems.

Nowadays, everyone faces the new challenges, so do the children. We can see from the academic perspective that the children face the national examination. One of the famous psychologist from Brisbane University, Mr. Seto, said that it could make the youth more stressful because their brain cannot afford it. Moreover, bullying is another cause that can make their life harder, especially on daily school lives. The pupils are also being forced by the teacher to buy expensive books to be their literature in the school.

How the way that can be done by us to overcome these problems? We can try to change the way we grade the pupils to be based on understanding so the children are not forced to pass the exam but they should understand in order to have a higher grade. Furthermore, bullying can be solve using Anti-Bullying Method, introduced by Mr. Shiraishi from Kyoto University, which requires the teacher's attention on children's behavior so that they can reduce the bullying practice in the school. Encouraging the teacher and providing the free books by the schools in the library can also reduce the pressure of children on the commercial side, and everyone can have the same equality each other.

All in all, the children's pressure on academic can be easily solved by converting the method of grading, followed by bullying which is able to be removed by the teacher responsibility on pupils' behavior. Besides, the commercial sector which leads the pressure on students can be reduced by providing a book which can be borrowed by them.

(328 Words)

Writing Feedback / The % of national shares spent on food, accommodation, transportation, health care and clothing [2]

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009

The percentage of national shares spending on food, accommodation, transportation, health care and clothing in the US Canada, UK and Japan in 2009 is shown in the bar graph. Overall, it can be seen that housing was the highest spending on while the least was the health care for most of the countries.

First of all, the United States and Canada experienced the same proportion around 15 percent for food, followed by the UK having 20 percent, then Japan getting 3 percent higher than the UK. For housing matter, there was no proportion below 20 percent, indicating that most of the countries spent many in this sector. Around a quarter was spent by the US and UK while Canada and Japan had around 21 and 22 percent respectively.

The country where spent the most on transportation was Canada having a quarter while Japan got a half of that proportion. The United States had around 17 percent, followed by the UK having 2 percent lower. For clothing, the nearly same proportion was seen among countries, having around 5 percent. Furthermore, for health care, the United States spent the most, getting around 7 percent, while the others spent below 5 percent.

(198 Words)

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Writing Feedback / The teenagers are frequently paticipating as a part of the working for community developments [2]

Adult youths are often called up for working for the development of communities. Do you think they should work voluntarily or should they get paid? Give your opinion

The teenagers are frequently called to make a part of the working for community developments. There are some opinions that they should get the money for what have they done. I believe that work without being paid can be good for them, and this essay will first discuss getting paid for community is not reasonable then present that working voluntarily can form a good working behavior for adult youths.

Some people believe that older-young generations should be paid for working on development of community. It is not reasonable since they work for charity. There is a statistical result conducted by International Statistical Institute (ISI) in 2015, which told that almost 74 percent of 120 nations on where the surveyed did not pay their youth, especially on community developments. Furthermore, the survey also gave the reason that paying them at this stage of age forms their mind to become money oriented. This is the reason why they are not paid of their work.

However, working voluntarily can form the mind to work based on quality, not based on money, which has been proved by Mr. Fujinoma Satoru from Kyoto University. in other words, this is the right time for them to not only expand their skills but also know more their neighbors around them. This can directly increase their way to act properly with them, which can be useful in the future.

All in all, for above-mentioned points, I believe that it is non-sense for youths who are popularly believed as the starting point to expand their capability to be paid for charity. Thanks to working voluntarily, the older-young generations are able to explore more about the skills they should have and pour to the community as well.

(287 Words)

Writing Feedback / There is an opinion that the best way to teach pupils is their attending into homeschooling [2]

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

There is an opinion that the best way to teach their pupils is attending them into homeschooling while others say that public school has its own benefit. I believe that teaching children at home can make a better development of students. This essay will first discuss home-schooling can make better progress since the developments are being monitored by its teacher then present socializing is the biggest benefit of students attending public school.

Every child in the world has its own uniqueness, and we cannot treat a child as same as the others. Having a small number of students, teacher can monitor every single progress and choose the most effective of teaching methods to them. This will lead the pupils to more progress than the ones attending the public school which is popularly believed that many students cannot be comprehensively monitored by the teacher. The research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru in Kyoto University finds that almost 72 percent of home-schooling students gets higher chance of success when they reach the age of 25. This is the evidence that schooling at home is the best way to develop the children's developments.

However, students need to socialize in order to expand their network. As the micro model of society, public school gives the chance to its students to know each other, to act appropriately when they meet, and to have a tolerance if they meet some differences such as the way of thinking, or religion. Because of a large number of students, teacher cannot see the developments of all children in the classroom. The same research also gives the explanation that 32 percent of students cannot be fully monitored by its teacher. This is the main problem of public school.

All in all, I believe that home-schooling is much better because the teacher can monitor its students comprehensively. Having a large number of friends, the students can easily socialize each other even though the developments cannot be fully seen by the teacher.

(329 Words)

Writing Feedback / Learning grammar is not suitable for students at primary school [2]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Learning language is essential for everyone since language is a basic need of our life to communicate properly each other. Some researchers say that mastering a language should be started at secondary school while others believe that it will be better to start at primary school. I believe that studying when they are young is much better and outweigh the disadvantage.

Grammar is a key part of the language and should be learnt by everyone who wants to be a master in a language. There are a lot of grammar materials needed a high understanding about it. Moreover, the group of researchers led by Mr. Nagisa Shiota from Tokyo University found that because of immature brains, the children attending primary school cannot throughout learn the subject. Furthermore, they stated that teenagers having aged 12 or older can readily understand the subject. This proves that learning grammar is not suitable for students at primary school and become the drawback for the primary-school students.

However, when they become older, they will lose the ability to absorb new vocabularies which are the essential part of languages. Young children have the ability to remember one paper vocabulary with only spending an hour, compared to older people needing at least 5 hours. This phenomenon was explained by Prof. Leonardo, the expert of the human brain from Imperial College London, that children have "sponge brain" and it will become faded as the higher number of age. This is the benefit of people starting to learn new languages in the primary school. In other words, starting to earn vocabulary at primary school and study grammar in the secondary school is the perfect way to fully understand a new language.

All in all, I briefly believe that the advantage of starting language in the early time outweigh the disadvantage because even though to understand the grammar is suitable when the brain is mature, expanding the vocabularies should be started at primary school.

(324 Words)

Writing Feedback / There's an opinion that the hard work and decisive personality are the secret of being successful [2]

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on the other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion

There is an opinion that having hard work and decisive personalities are the secret of being success. Others believe that having those personalities are not enough. In my opinion, not only hard work and determination, but also family influence are needed to reach the success.

Today, life is getting harder and harder. In order to deal with the problems around us, we should have the good personal habits that are able to overcome those problems. Hard work and determination are the most needed personalities nowadays. Research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru from King University of London tells has told that 43 percent of people having this personality gets the better chance to be more success, and in addition, he takes the wages as the indicator of success because it is hard to measure other indicators. Furthermore, I briefly believe that hard work without determination can decrease the chance to be success since the companies, nowadays, need the people having those traits as their employees.

However, based on my experience, family's influence gives the big impact to be one of the factors of people's success. Every person in the world needs supports when they are down. The TED presentation in Arizona, presented by Mr. John Wakawangze from Leeds University, presents that family gives 63 percent of people's success. He argued that people cannot make a big step in their life without the influence from people around them, especially the relatives.

All in all, based on the research that I've mentioned before, I strongly believe that having a character to choose a decision and giving all of our efforts to do work are not enough. We also need the support from the closest people, especially our family to grab the success of life.

(291 Words)

Writing Feedback / Is it true that being innovative and independent gives you a better chance to get an awesome job? [2]

Some people think when recruiting, companies should aim to take on people who are innovative and able to work independently while others considered they should recruit people who are able to work in a team and follow instructions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

When we are going to be interviewed, we are often asked what the real personality of ours is. Sometimes, we afraid that our character will not match with the company. There is an opinion that company hires the person having innovation and independence, while others say that people who can collaborate and strict to the instruction are more likely to be employed. In my own perspective, it depends on the kinds of works, and this essay will first discuss the views of working independently that can lead to finish the work faster, followed by working in a team that will lead to make the clear instruction.

First of all, people having innovative ideas are able to make a brand new thing that can be useful for company. It is important for company focusing on selling goods to the public. For people working independently, the time they need to resolve the company's problem is also shorter. Research conducted by Mr. Fujinuma Satoru from Beijing University has also proved that they can consume 27 percent of time shorter than others. However, owing to the fact that they depend on their own thinking, they do not frequently overcome the problem's core.

People that can work in a team and follow the instruction sometimes consume the time longer since the debates are often seen. However, because more employees' minds are involved, obstacles facing by industries are solved precociously, and brainstorming resulted by long debates gives one clearly solution. In my opinion, the company has own typical workers they need. For example, advertising company is more likely to hire innovative person while the statistical company tends to choose the people having ability to work together in the same team.

All in all, I briefly believe that the different job will lead to different requirements of workers able to solve the company's obstacle. Furthermore, employees having innovative and independent characters attract the company needing innovation while others need workers that can follow the employers' plan.

(329 Words)

Writing Feedback / The process of electricity generation from the sea wave [2]

The diagrams show a structure that is used to generate electricity from wave power.

The process of electric generation from the sea wave is shown in the graphs which the "A" graph inform the process when the waves come to the chamber and "B" graph present when the wave leaves the chamber. Overall, it can be seen that the air is forced by the direction of wave and rotates the turbine to produce electricity.

First of all, this machine is placed beside cliff or sea wall, which consists of the chamber used for catching the sea wave, the turbine for generating electricity, and the column for air ventilation.

The process started when the wave goes to the chamber. Then, the air is gone by the wave to the top of the column and the air rotates the turbine in the clockwise direction. The power is produced as the result of the generating-electricity process by the turbine. Furthermore, when the wave leaves the chamber, the turbine is rotated with the same direction by the air coming from upper column to the chamber, producing electricity that can power up a lamp.

(175 Words)

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Writing Feedback / Housing in Lakeside became infrequent while industrial complex saw the largest number of development [2]

The changes in Lakeside in 2000 and 2009.

The developments of Lakeside city between 2000 and 2009 are shown in the figure. Overall, it can be seen that housing became infrequent while industrial complex saw the largest number of developments.

In 2000, the residential areas were located in the north-west, south-west, and south-east. However, after 9-year, housing became uncommon, indicated by a group of houses in the north-west was still available. Another location in south-west became shopping center while there was an enormous number of the industrial complex in south-east.

The number of educational schools increased in 2009, taking over old town in 2000. Moreover, there was a change in entertainment center. At first, the art center in the west was located, but in the last of the period, it became the cinema. Furthermore, the car park was built in the north, changing derelict warehouse. The area of the lake which is located in the north-east also shrunk, and it changed to the pond during the end of the period.

(162 Words)

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Writing Feedback / A date over the Internet? The lack of the information about your mate is the biggest disadvantage. [3]

With the latest technological advancements, dating is now possible online. Would you recommend online dating for your single friends? What are the advantages and disadvantages of online dating? Site some examples to support your answer.

In the modern world, we have seen the developments of technology around us. Because of that, not only applications of social media, but also applications online dating are now available online. I would not recommend this to people around me since the drawback outweigh the benefits. This essay will first discuss the disadvantage that online dating can be established anytime anywhere, then present that the lack of the information of your mate is the biggest disadvantage.

Today, real-time communications such as video streaming or teleconference are made possible by the breakthrough having been done by researchers, followed by the increasing number of online dating. This means that dating can do online. With the advancements of technology, people can interact each other without the gap of communication such as the distance. Also, since the Wi-Fi spots are extensively available around us, people can do dating anytime as long as the computer is connected to the internet.

However, since they do not meet physically, they do not know the real character between them. The long distance that separated them is the reason why they cannot meet. Taking my friend's experience as an example. He had used the online dating for 6 years and had a partner, but after they had met, he disappointed because his partner had temperamental personality, and led them to end their relationship. This experience may be experienced by everyone, and the example is the evidence that we should not do online dating.

All in all, for above-mentioned points, I would like to prefer to choose the conventional dating for my friends. Even though online dating can be done anytime anywhere, lacking understanding your partner's personality can be the bad effect to the relationship

(285 Words)

Writing Feedback / The number of train and other transportations increased steadily over the 15 years period from 1985 [2]

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000

The changes of median distance per a person, measured in miles in England for 1985 to 2000 are shown in the table. Overall, it can be seen that the majority of kinds of transportation using fuel increased while the car was transportation modes used with the largest distance.

Between 1985 and 2000, the average number of distance travelling foot and bicycle decreased steadily from 256 to 237 and 51 to 41 respectively, while the number of local bus fell almost a half of the number in the beginning of the period. In contrast, the trend for local distance bus grew almost one hundred percent. Car, which is the transportation used to travel in the largest distance, increased by almost 1600 while taxi only grew by around 30.

The number of train and other transportations increased steadily. The former grew from 239 to 366 while the latter jumped to 585. Furthermore, the average length of all modes of transportations inclined remarkably from 4740 in 1980 to 6475 in the end of the period.

(172 Words)

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