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TOEFL Ess; development of housing or industry is also profitable but not healthy

4 - Thank you so much Duminda..:) That was very useful... I will try to insert that sentences and rewrite...

Writing Feedbackana_p - Jun 22, 2012ana_p - Jun 25, 2012
'DETERMINED TO BE SOMEBODY' - Howard University Admission Essay

4 - write about something unique. Jaybird has a point. There are thousands of people that apply to Howard that write...

Undergraduatesnaacks - Jun 24, 2012chessman567 - Jun 25, 2012
'Character development and integrity' - Naval Academy application essay

2 - I realized that I want to serve my country and the Naval Academy is where I want to do...

Undergraduatemadeline18 - Jun 23, 2012karina23 - Jun 25, 2012
Motivation letter for master´s course___Innovation and Technological Entrepreneurship

NEW - Dear All: this is a draft of my motivation letter, I am not native English speaker, so Plz...

Letterschuva - Jun 25, 2012 -
Is it right to exclude females and males from certain professions because of gender?

2 - Good argument, but the essay is missing clarity and flow. I have fixed some of the grammatical errors, but...

Writing Feedbackmik2202 - Jun 25, 2012jaybird88 - Jun 25, 2012
Fixed punishment for each type of crime? DISCUSS

NEW - Fix punishments Fix punishment for criminal behaviours is a very controversial debate, which has two sides. One group...

Writing Feedbackmppaniz - Jun 25, 2012 -
Teenagers should work without a salary to help the local community?

4 - Good topic and thought process. Some schools in the Northern US require teens to provide 75 hours of community...

Writing FeedbackAlicesh - Jun 23, 2012Monkey2012 - Jun 24, 2012
PROSTITUTION: WHAT CAN BRING IF IT IS BEING LEGALIZED?

5 - "So why dares to promote prostitution?" Are you trying to say "who" dares to promote prostitution ?...

Writing Feedbackniesaysi - Jun 22, 2012Monkey2012 - Jun 24, 2012
'pursing a medical vocation' stating career plans,aspirations and use of funds

4 - Thank you so very much ! This has all been very helpful! !...

ScholarshipMonkey2012 - Jun 23, 2012Monkey2012 - Jun 24, 2012
'women are special weak group' - IELTS - EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS

NEW - Thank you for you help! UNIVERSITY SHOULD ACCEPT EQUAL NUMBERS OF MALE AND FEMALE STUDENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT....

Writing Feedbackland1111 - Jun 24, 2012 -
(Science in Information Systems) I can't find an opening to my essay?

4 - Any sentence that inspires to read the whole write ups. Conversation lines, proverb, interesting sentence with word rhymes ,......

Graduateshenoooo - Jun 23, 2012deepakbaniya - Jun 24, 2012
New Perspective On Environmental Solution.

2 - Scientists have been proposing numerous possible solutions in arresting growing environmental problems ,such as global warming, air pollution, water...

Writing Feedbackdottedbow - Jun 24, 2012deepakbaniya - Jun 24, 2012
'There are convincing factors for not wasting money on Space Exploration' - IELTS

2 - .... .Beside above reason the unknown goals of space exploration projects is another challenge. it is highly acceptable that...

Writing FeedbackAlicesh - Jun 24, 2012dottedbow - Jun 24, 2012
'I firmly object to it' - IELTS - Capital punishment is necessary or not ?

4 - thanks dumi for the advice :D that means a lot to me. If anybody else spots out any...

Writing Feedbacksnowqueen93 - Jun 22, 2012snowqueen93 - Jun 24, 2012
MCAT Prompt: The right to life is greater than the right to liberty.

2 - Liberty is basically freedom, whether it be freedom of religion, press, or the pursuit of happiness. Another instance...

Graduatecouchpotato - Jun 24, 2012EF_Susan - Jun 24, 2012
'met hundreds of people' - need help on conclusion and more detail

2 - However, only a special few have had the ability tocould make an impact that will last a lifetimeon...

Writing Feedbackjalilt - Jun 23, 2012dumi - Jun 24, 2012
IELTS: Indoor or outdoor teaching.. to get valuable results

3 - If you take off the part "for everyone" then this sentence reads better. The reason is when you...

Writing Feedbackhadi1981 - Jun 24, 2012dumi - Jun 24, 2012
IELST : Letter : Complaint letter regarding work problems

3 - because it not only given--> gives it also provide--> provides I found difficult--> I found it difficult was missed.-->...

Writing Feedbackchwong - Jun 24, 2012kissingyou0912 - Jun 24, 2012
THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION (beneficial for society on the whole)

4 - Thanks emily and dumi. perhaps I will add another paragraph about the effects of children who are not educated...

Writing Feedbackkissingyou0912 - Jun 23, 2012kissingyou0912 - Jun 24, 2012
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Truth of Antibiotics

2 - Overall I like the topic you chose and how you prevented it. Your use of citations from other references...

Writing Feedbackkat110 - Jun 23, 2012sco2185312 - Jun 24, 2012
'characteristics of societies while studying in big cities' - GRE issue essay

5 - Hi Duminda, Thank you so much for correcting my essay. I really appreciate the time and effort. :)...

Writing Feedbackviviana15077 - Jun 15, 2012viviana15077 - Jun 24, 2012
"childhood obesity, who is to blame?"

3 - one may ask why or how this is happening to our youth? a confusing statement... think of...

Research Papersemily_browneyes - Jun 23, 2012dumi - Jun 23, 2012
UW CSE's personal statement - Finding my own path

2 - every question and plan / all questions and plans prefer if you can present this more...

Undergraduatenqtong - Jun 23, 2012dumi - Jun 23, 2012
Why Do You Want to Become a Teacher? -- Bac Elementary Education

4 - Hi Graham, I just made my comments on another thread that too starts with very similar sentences and...

Graduatejaybird88 - Jun 23, 2012dumi - Jun 23, 2012
'Strokes' - Mental Illness Bipolar Disorder

2 - While working with individuals diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I've learned... Complete and proper diagnoses of mental illnesses, symptoms...

Writing FeedbackLAK2061065 - Jun 23, 2012EF_Susan - Jun 23, 2012
Spend money or Save money? I support saving for future

3 - We have to save money ,that helps for our children education in future. Maybe change this last line?...

Writing Feedbackjanardhan005 - Jun 13, 2012emily_browneyes - Jun 23, 2012
IELST : spent money on space exploration is a complete waste of time

2 - which needs to spend---------- activity needs, activities need yet its discoveries may not necessarily bring in...

Writing Feedbackchwong - Jun 23, 2012dumi - Jun 23, 2012
IELTS - 'choosing own career by young people'

3 - Like (someone says) --> I think it is As, not like Vividly --> vivid believed --> believe the people...

Writing Feedbackzhangyebiaoba - Jun 19, 2012kissingyou0912 - Jun 23, 2012
'touching the lives of thousands' - Excellence Scholarship application

2 - I believe my more than fifteen years of IT experience and training, a continued desire for self-development, combined with...

Scholarshipadaiah - Jun 20, 2012chwong - Jun 23, 2012
'three experiences' - Peace Corps Essay 2012 #1

2 - Since my first visit to France I knew that there would be cultural differences, however I had no idea...

Graduatebrijames09 - Jun 18, 2012EF_Susan - Jun 22, 2012
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