Essays / MPH Personal statement + Study/research objective (related essays?) [4]

Well, the first one seems to be centered on what you have done up til now, concerning your educational and career goals. How/why did you first become interested? What course of action have you taken towards reaching your goals? What classes or training have you already had?

The second, is about now that you have gotten this far, what are your plans for completing your objectives, what do you have left to do? I hope this is helpful! When you finish, send it back and we'll see how it's shaping up. Good luck and try not to be too stressed out!

:)

Grammar, Usage / Is it proper to say "As mentioned earlier" when being repetitive? [3]

I think you should write, "as mentioned earlier", but you should change what had already been written a bit, so it doesn't sound repetitive. Even if it was more than a paragraph ago, it would still be good to change it a little at least.

:)

Undergraduate / 'medical care for the underprivileged' - UC Davis [4]

The BUSP is another excellent environment in which I could conduct research with highly regarded scientists.

In high school, I founded the Chemical Collision Club where students could learn more about chemistry and biology.

... and I firmly believe that UC Davis will offer me a strong foundation in my education prior to entering the medical field.

:)

Undergraduate / 'Bad grades, ashamed' an incident which led you to challenge yourself academically [5]

" Back in primary school, I did not pay much attention in class, and had most of the time my mind was elsewhere.

As a result, I got bad grades on my homework as well as my exams and made my parents and my teachers upset that .

That is why I felt ashamed of myself all the time.

I was not that stupid, but I might have had a different learning style and knew I could do much better than that.

With a bit of effort, I got acquired good focus skills and turned things around.

I have then realized I can make great progress in my life."

:)

Undergraduate / "I am shy" - 500 word Personal essay - starting points? [5]

You are absolutely headed in the right direction towards a captivating, honest and entertaining personal essay. The examples of how you are able to open up and "come to life" perfectly illustrate the innocence of your shyness as a whole as well as the liberation of being in a setting you are passionate about. I love it!!!

And I would be happy to help with revisions or grammar!

Undergraduate / from drug addiction to successful student- common app transfer essay [5]

Although you have already received meaningful feedback and turned your paper in, I just wanted to say that I feel fortunate to have read it. It is so honestly powerful yet poetic; you dove head-first into a topic that some would tread lightly upon and you did it with grace and dignity. The story itself is inspiring but the way you wrote it is spot-on and completely captivating. I revise and edit essays all throughout the day and this is one of the most beautiful and well-written projects that has ever come my way.

Thank you :)

Undergraduate / PS/ never imagined that I will become a teacher; Choice of teaching career [3]

Growing up, I never imagined that I willwould become a teacher.
Nothing, I thought, will push me to become a teacher.
However, there came a point when I finally decided to try teaching.it out
.They were amusing and inspiring
There were times when they accidentally tripped, bumped into the wall, or broke their toy favoritefavorite toy
This experience led me to learn quite a bitmore and to further develop edI was able to sharpen my skills to teach to a group of students in my church.

I made some revisions; added and subtracted some things that I thought might improve this project and I hope it is helpful to you
Note: Be mindful of your past and present tense expression, i.e "Back then I WAS discouraged (past tense); now I AM happy (present tense)..."

Good luck :)

Undergraduate / 'My sailing dream' - A statement of ambitions and life purpose [3]

I'd like to offer some suggestions as well. I think a stronger introductory statement would help this project, for example : "The specifics of my goals, dreams and future plans have fluctuated quite a bit over the years... However, my faith and principals have remained firm..." and then list examples to illustrate your many career choices, while also tying you faith in God and family in as a grounding point.

You could organize your thoughts a bit more clearly and maybe a more rounded summary to tie it together nicely.
Hopefully this helps

Book Reports / On Evil Genii - minds and virtues [9]

Regrettably, IRONICALLY even Hitler was an exceptionally intelligent person.
His thoughts, recorded in Mein Kampf, give us a deeper insight into his mind. We inquire that, once we ARE free of all the racist insults included, some ideas appear to be formed by a brusque political thinker.

No matter, what your conviction is, demanding bigger MORE DEDICATED AND HONEST responsibility from politicians for their own decisions,

Moreover WITH THIS IDEA IN MIND, lots of insightful villains could be named in addition .

Furthermore, a sort of solace may be sought in fact that there are some stupid people among bad... NICELY PUT :)
And the stupid ones often let themselves get caught while perpetrating a crime, which at least reduces the counts of bad side.? PLEASE CLARIFY Unfortunately merely by the stupid criminals.

Thus the war between Good and Evil lasts. CONTINUES
I MADE SOME GRAMMATICAL REVISIONS AND SUGGEST YOU REVISE FOR CLARITY AND STRENGTHEN YOUR CLOSING STATEMENT A BIT

Undergraduate / PERSONAL STATEMENT - "Students demonstrating against the war, people of color.. [4]

I have read and am very impressed by your revised edition. I feel you have effectively condensed and summarized this work of art yet still maintained the feeling and passion. It is very nicely put together and beautifully rooted. It is personal yet professional. Excellent Work, and thank you for accepting my feedback:)

Graduate / Personal Statement for Grad School Global Health [3]

My interest in global health-in the field of public health in general-originated with my participation in an International Health course that took place during the spring of my junior year. I had entered the course partially due to my personal interest in international health-which stemmed from a passion for travel and a desire to experience foreign cultures-and mostly due to a need to meet the general education requirements of my university. THIS IS A RUN-ON SENTENCE, SEE IF YOU CAN BREAK IT UP A BIT

Not only have I obtained a greater understanding of the multifaceted approach to implementing community intervention programs, but I have also strengthened my research and critical thinking skills, enhanced my writing ability, and acquired skills in budget planning, program design, and evaluation.

The countless courses,and volunteer, and internship experiences I have participated in have all worked to instill in me a deep seated passion for numerous facets of global health.

I possess a pronounced interest in and zeal for global health matters, specifically relating to environmental and child health. END SENTENCE and i hope to make a positive impact in these areas.

NICE JOB. I HIGHLIGHTED AREAS WHICH I FELT NEEDED REVISION AND WOULD JUST ADVISE YOU TO BE MINDFUL OF EXCESSIVELY LONG SENTENCES.

Essays / What were the differences between slavery in Latin America and North America? Intro? [3]

"Let's discuss the differences between slavery in..."
"The brutal and barbaric act of slavery differs from region to region, continent to continent..."
"While one may perceive the realities of slavery to be and to have been typical, their differences, specifically between North and South America were/are significant. Here I will discuss these differences...

Those are a few examples, although the clear and basic question just as you have asked it will do as well :)
I hope this is helpful in some way :)

Undergraduate / My brother is my only other sibling & had a significant influence on me [2]

My brother is my only other sibling.
He has no college degree, nor HAS HE even finished all of high school.
His example is one to not MAY NOT BE ADVISABLE TO follow.
His dedication to get not only himself, but his family, a proper environment in which to live in has made him admirable.
Responsibility OFTEN differentiates those who are trustworthy and those who aren't.
However, my brother HE has never asked for help, my brother has never backed down when things got rough, my brother AND has never showed SHOWN weakness, and those characteristics are what i've gotten BEEN ABLE TO to respect and try to embody.

My brother's example has made me who I am today. YOU ALREADY SAID THIS, MAYBE YOU MEANT TO REPEAT IT FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT?
My brother's life might not be one that's picturesque, nor is it one that has made me want to follow his example. However, seeing passed PAST his undesirable lifestyle, his ethics are those to epitomize ADMIRE.

Book Reports / To Kill a Mockingbird,Harper Lee's Pulitzer Prize winning novel- Maturity essay [3]

'To Kill a Mockingbird', written by Harper Lee, depicts a tenacious sense of maturity that is perceptible APPARENT
That word has a different meaning for every individual. Maturity can be seen as an understanding that comes with experience rather than age though the two usually seem to go together but not always .

As the novel progresses Scout begins to look beneath the appearance and rumours and instead 'see' for herself. When Boo rescued her and Jem she had seen Boo for the man he truly is WAS and not for what he was portrayed as being by the members of Maycomb.

Jem was now acclimated with the unfairness and racism that distorted his perception of Maycomb. He had 'grown up'...IN THE SENSE OF HAVING FACED ONE OF LIFE'S HARSHEST REALITIES: INJUSTICE

Harper Lee's Pulitzer Prize winning novel, 'To Kill a Mockingbird' demonstrates how maturity plays a part in properly understanding how the world or even a HOW community operates.

I corrected a few grammatical errors and although you elaborated quite well on how they have "matured", you might consider whether their development had occurred in any other way, such as the fading of innocence which comes with growing up or added senses of fear, cautiousness, etc. Development doesn't always mean maturing. Just a suggestion. This is very well put together I'd say and I hope you find this to be helpful and meaningful feedback.

Writing Feedback / 'the head of English language Panel' - important event in my life [4]

I have EXPERIENCED QUITE a lot of important events in my life That changed me significantly.
That there was one event WHICH made SUCH an enormous impactedin ON my life.
It all began in the past eight years. I had been ordered to report at TO a rural areas FOR school. far from the mainstream of all development and progress. But I am WAS so happy and excited to go there. On the first day at school, I had met many wonderful people. Teachers here are very friendly and helpful in every matter. The thing I enjoy AND FIND most meaningful is to be the head of English language Panel. Without the experience and knowledge in this field I have many difficulties to adapt TO.in this field.

But with the help of my colleagues, had i HAVE succeeded in raising the achievement of students there with many awards and recognition in many competitions and examinations. I am very proud of this achievement being able to raise the name of the school, and the people here are very grateful.

Graduate / SOP for Computational Engineering Masters Program in Germany [4]

The parts I struck a line through, I felt, could be omitted in order to shorten as you had hoped to. I only highlighted suggested and grammatical corrections and "struck through" areas I thought could be left out. Everything else looked perfect and beautifully written, so I didn't re-post those parts on my "correction area"

I hope that helps

Essays / Advice on SAT essay writing - what should I pay most attention to? [2]

The answers are as follows. Balance is key and you must try and pay a somewhat equal amount off attention to structure, logic, examples, etc.

And for your body paragraph, once again, it is about a balance; an entire picture of examples, supporting examples. It is important not to focus too heavily on one particular element but to try and create a diverse array of every example, highlighting your skills and knowledge.

Hopefully this is helpful
:)

Undergraduate / Phasmophobia essay for undergraduate studies in the USA [2]

Ghosts- the very thought of them irks IRRITATES me.
Not even knowing whether they exist or not, furthermore intensifies my fear for them.
How my fear did DID MY FEAR grow stronger?
There were times when I gathered up all my courage and overcome OVERCAME my fear.[/fon

Although I know that I have not overcome my fear fully, ONLY but I have overcome it to some extent.

* I am curious about what stories your mother "terrorized you with when you did not listen". I think you could elaborate on that which would lengthen and strengthen your essay as well as possibly helping you get to the root of your TRUE fear. You could also elaborate on some imagery like how you picture ghosts or spirits, sights, sounds, sensory elements, etc. Finally, it might create some more substance to add whether or not you have shared these fears/feelings with others, what their feedback is, whether they agree, disagree, tease you, etc.

Hopefully this has helped in some way.
Good job and good luck :)

Graduate / "Mr. Mountain's classroom" - someone who has made an impact on your life [4]

I met this person in highschool and although he constantly preached about being humble and modest, this man also taught me to pursue the finer things in life.

I didn't always have a close relationship with Mr. Mountain, in fact I've never been an actual student in his class before.
It was an act that was so humane and different compared to what I was accustomed to in an average public high school atmosphere. Like Mr. Miagi in "Karate Kid", Mr. Mountain really did teach me to handle making rash decisions in a calm matter. :) ...awesome...

While we shared this cupcake treat together, I asked my teacher why a man like himself would wait a couple hours just for some cupcakes.

His response was so nonchalant (spelling)

I lost PARTED WAYS WITH both a great friend, and a beloved mentor.

Research Papers / Good organization in a research paper? [2]

what does good organization look with in a research paper?

A well written research paper must have a strong opening statement. It must be factual, and when using direct quotations it is always a good idea to clearly state your reference guides to avoid plagiarism. :) Be careful not to be too repetitive. Be mindful of your paragraph structure, and always have a nice summary as your closing statement. The end of a research project or essay is often a good place to share personal opinions or feedback depending on the topic at hand.

Honestly I would go on-line and find some research projects that you find to be smooth and enjoyable to read, and try to get a sense of how that writer's structure appealed to you. Everyone has different writing styles; find what is appealing to you and why.

Hopefully that is helpful to you.

Writing Feedback / 'Nadie, Como Vai, and Pass the Peas songs' - examine three songs essay [2]

I found this song to be exceptional because ; it blew me away. :)
Firstly ,Secondly IN ADDITION,
the guitar, the drums and other instruments were in FANTASTIC or BEAUTIFUL, or PERFECTLY SYNCHRONIZED... (a descriptive word would be nice here)-accompaniment.
Finally, it was getting louder until all instruments met at the top with a banging climax and then changed the dynamics again.
I also liked how the chachacha rhythm remained the same till the end of the song, and believed this enhances the experience and emotion of the entire piece...this upbeat, steady rhythm is the root and foundation that held this masterpiece perfectly together :) ?

Very nice :) You captured the experience beautifully.

Undergraduate / 'To Have an Aspiration' - TRANSFER ESSAY [2]

" What serves as your purpose for studying at a university?"
As I evaluate how I would approach this question, it is preferably I FIND IT sensible to retract from an immediate answer.
Pondering for a response,
Although for a while he has undergone trials and tribulations, his hard work and personal dedication to achieve that infamous "American Dream" eventually have HELPED him become successful

.EagerNESS raced through my mind upon deciding which courses to take,
Although my current institution does provide a great pre-medicine program, however I want to study at IN a setting that I WITH WHICH I can correspond well.

I hope by transferring to a school prevalently with a city-based setting,
I will be able to build interactions with people indiscriminate by OF age, gender, socioeconomic-background, sexuality, religion, and the list goes on ETC..
My motive is clear-I'd rather be no doctor than a mediocre one. NICELY PUT :)

You ARE a great writer; my only advice would be to organize and structure a bit more clearly and do not use more adjectives than necessary :)

Good job and good luck.

Undergraduate / 'Wanting to pursue an economics major' George Washington University admissions [3]

To my parents going to college is a privilege that they did not get to have when they were my age. I enrolled in a military academy for my high school years, and my choice to attend a military academy, THIS PARTICULAR SCHOOL the oldest one in the U.S. that offers JROTC training, Carson Long, was a way to get more gain leadership experience through military training and activities like service learning and drill team.

I began thinking about major factors most high school juniors take into consideration when choosing the right college SUCH AS location, size, and academics.

. Wanting WITH A STRONG DESIRE TO to pursue an economics major I quickly remembered that two of the world finest economic institutions are located right there in Washington, DC, the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

ELABORATE A BIT MORE AND REVISE FOR CLARITY
:)

Graduate / Personal Statement for applying to PA school: engineer to paramedic to PA [2]

I've learned the answers to these questions and many more questions by observing people at work and continuing to ask questions.

After completing the classroom portion of paramedic training the real fun began with clinical hours spent in the ED, the OR, the psych ward and labor and delivery. THE MATERNITY WARD

I visited him often during his 18 day stay in the ICU. I closely followed his case CONDITION while he spent 18 days in the ICU fighting his way back to a normal life.

Dad HE nearly bled to death from a GI bleed caused by all the medicines he was taking.
Dad also had as well as having to have emergency open heart surgery while undergoing what should have been a routine heart catheterization.
I've also followed his cases.
Throughout both of these cases PERSONAL EXPERIENCES I talked to the doctors as often as possible and helped the patient and his family better understand the lab results and treatments being given.

Graduate / SOP for Computational Engineering Masters Program in Germany [4]

I will put a line through what I find to be unnecessary or redundant :)for the simple reason that the most complex phenomena in nature can be understood and explained with the help of a few digits. From the presence of Fibonacci numbers in nature to that of th

Having lived in a backward DO YOU MEAN "BACKWOOD" AS IN RURAL AND QUIET?
From childhood, I have had an affinity for mathematics.

He could see the eagerness to explore this field in my eyes and upon some research,I realized that this indeed was the field where I could utilize my full potential and at the same time contribute to a better understanding of Mechatronic systems for our future generations.

Writing Feedback / Americas number one killing disease - research essay [4]

You need a strong and clear introduction-to-essay statement.
As the years go on, the numbers keep rising and things may just continue to rise unless your OUR education and Doctors are up to date and you're WE'RE ready to fight it.

The nucleuses nuclei?
Causes and Prevention are two major points that people only MAINLY want to hear and are the biggest and most important of them all.
Inheritance is a way that not many will think is possible to get cancer but it is true. SURPRISINGLY TO SOME, GENETICS PLAYS A ROLE...

It is a huge form GROWING MORE PREVALENT now a days and continues to grow (inside cancer).

My only advice would be to organize this presentation a bit and avoid repetition.
Good job and have fun in school :)

Graduate / I discovered that I had a genetic heart disease known as Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM); SCAD SOP [2]

After At that point in my life I began to get involved in the art program at my high school and took as many art and design classes that fit in my schedule.

. Something I really loved about attending PhilaU was that there were so many opportunities to explore and find myself.Nicely put :)

As we walked by the big, beautiful (I would use words like "towering" and "majestic" to expand upon your passion for architecture, just me though.) buildings I wondered what it would be like to one day be the designer of something so great.

Thank you for your consideration, etc

Good job and good luck :)

Graduate / 'Want to become a Professional Accountant' - Appeal letter / personal statement [3]

. In achieving this, I've recognized the indispensability of a graduate study in Accounting in this field.
I have subsequently reflected made improvements on my flaws and shortcomings, thereby identifying the areas of improvement.

A new method would provide better concentration and reduce skimming which I have realized has a negative effect on study.

If my request for admission is accepted, I would quit gladly withdraw from my present job to face my Masters program fully.

I feel a denial in my admission request would be very counterproductive in my quest for Graduate degree.

. My Bachelors degree in Accounting provides the much needed background necessary for a smooth start in a Masters program by providing important prior study in accounting. this field .

. This passion has created in me the zeal to pursue a Graduate degree in Accounting at U.T.A
. More importantly, I am confident in my abilities to successfully complete a Graduate degree in with flying colors.
good luck :)

Graduate / Statement MSc - Master in Financial Mathematics program [3]

Having spoken with current and previous alumni of your university for further details, I am confident that I am making the right choice.

I have always seen Mathematics as the most paramount subject, and have held the equivalent of a grade A in most of my financial...

Resolving and deriving equations, (whether it may be in lecture, lab or in an assignment project), then computing calculations on derivative products and finally getting the resulting outcome is always something really exciting to me.

I can assure you, I will provide you with the top academic performance.

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'social science has greatly influenced me' - on economics for the nus [2]

In spite ---This is 2 words.--- of not having economics as a subject in school, this social science has greatly influenced me.---Don't forget to leave a space between your sentences!

I first realized the importance of this subject after the global recession which hit most of the countries, including mine.

During this period of economic instability our general economy was hit by various problems of food inflation, job ---Also, leave a space after each punctuation mark.--- terminations and poverty. A fter analyzing It became clearly evident that the primary reason for this situation was the lack of resources.

People in today's world are constantly striving for a better lifestyle and in this race, they end up utilizing more resources than required.

This gave me the motivation to study this subject in a greater depth.

I was greatly inspired by various economists like A martya S en and our Prime Minister Dr Manmohan singh .---Put all punctuation right up against the end of the word.

This trip greatly influenced me, as it gave me a practical example of our current situation all around the world.

Resources are fast depleting and people are not being able to adjust to the changing circumstances.

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Writing Feedback / 'obliged to do what you don't like' - essay on doing jobs people don't like [6]

Looking at the world today, there are so many people who are doing jobs they don't like and when they are asked why they simply answer there are no other choices for them. However, this creates lot of troubles and restlessness (and resentments)

in these people's lives. People should be in places they love and do work they want and appreciate.

Parents push there children to major in fields they sometimes don't like which results in a total failure and leads most of the time to having jobs they don't really like and appreciate. Being obligated to do what you don't like is a catastrophe for not only people who work but also the ones they work with and the job itself. These people are not doing their work correctly, they aren't going to look forward to ameliorate it and they aren't going to feel happy about it. They give a bad image about their jobs by cursing it all the time. More than this, they affect the ones they work with - especially if they are chiefs. The worst is the problems spread to affect the whole life of person, his wife --their spouse , kids and friends.

Closing statement?

Graduate / Short Explanation of Low GPA [2]

While many consider passion to be a virtue while pursuing higher education, irony saw my situation --I'm sure if this is "irony" per sayas a little differently.(You might want to scrap that part ) As a walk-on distance runner to the cross country and track teams, I dedicated most of my free time to training in hopes of receiving a scholarship. As an athlete, you only needed a 2.0 GPA to compete and I didn't focus too much time on exceeding that standard.

Looking back on that time, I realized that although it is beneficial to have passion in life; it is even more important to have balance. Since graduating from SHSU, I have been able to prove through my work history and professional training that I can balance a full time work load while pursuing education in subjects I'm more passionate about including: CapM project management certification, Google Analytics Certification, Microsoft Project 2010 Certification, and I participated in an 8-week Artificial Intelligence class held by Stanford University.

It is because of the reason above that I do not think my -- For this reason, my undergraduate GPA is a not good indicator of my intellectual ability. I would respectfully ask that the admission committee consider this when reviewing my application.

:)

Graduate / Essay for describing academic experience to depict depth of knowledge [2]

My academic experience had been a mixed bag in terms of knowledge, and the variety of subjects I have studied since my school days.
Starting with medical in school to general sciences during graduation, and then to Computing Systems in post-graduation.

I studied telecommunications, networking and software programming as my majors during post-graduation.
And it was during this period, that I designed an application prototype for Nokia Mobile Innovation program themed around Agriculture. The application enabled easy identification of the plant diseases and help farmers in taking appropriate remedial actions.

My tenure at Hughes Co. and Royal Bank of Scotland - aptly complemented my academic experience with practical insights.
Ranging from mobile devices to server side applications, for telecommunication, finance and automotive domains I leveraged opportunities and challenges to fuel my quest for knowledge.

I spent 3 months in Elektrobit, USA, learning HMI Designing for automobiles.
Currently , I am working on my first open source project OMapper which aims at providing a simple library to ease the process of mapping objects or beans from one design layer to another design layer, using annotations.

A clearer closing statement may be appropriate

Undergraduate / 'the culture and diversity that surrounds our lives' - CMU Precollege Diversity Essay [3]

Honestly I think this is wonderful and I went over it with a fine-tooth comb. You might consider adding a few more of your interests, hobbies, maybe some strengths and weaknesses just to make it more personal but all in all it's great.

Have fun in school and good luck

Undergraduate / 'reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic' - scientific journey transfer [2]

During my last year in high school, the medical university of my city, the only one as a matter of fact, was offering opportunities for prospective medical students to take part in a scientific journey. The scientific journey was broad and ranged from seminars on new medical methodologies to seminars on the requirements of having a medical career. In LIGHT

of this opportunity, I decided...

Unfortunately, after being accepted, I came to realize that the school did not offer Neuroscience either as a major or --"Neither as a major, nor..."

This looks terrific! Best of luck to you!

Dissertations / Project of multi objective algorithms - software engineering topic needed [2]

I just asked for help with this for you, and this was the response I got;

It's actually simple. If you are interested in art therapy, you might enter a phd program about child psychology with your special interest in art therapy. THE WAY TO GET A PHD IS TO WRITE A DISSERTATION THAT MAKES REAL, UNIQUE CONTRIBUTION TO THE FIELD OF STUDY. So the first step to figuring out what is a smart topic is to see what other grad students and authorities in the field have recently written about art therapy. IT's just like getting involved in a conversation: you have to know what everyone just said if you are going to contribute to the conversation. Hence the need for a lit review.

:)

Undergraduate / (political science) Letter of Academic Intent-Mature - UBC [2]

That was the question my father asked me after I walked off the stage at my high school graduation ceremony. I was soon to be leaving the place I called home, to gain insight and search for my place in society. The home and life I once knew, now a closed chapter in my life. At nineteen years old,

I felt confused, scared, yet curious about all the opportunities that surrounded me.

As the son of mother strongly engaged in the political realm, while also having a family with background in law, I have always been surrounded by discussions about political philosophy, law, and behaviorism .

As a young child, my uncle would often get into debates with me over realism, comparative politics and absolute normative government; I was 16 years old, I should have been playing with Legos .

I thought the best way to communicate something not significant to others lives, was using music as a method.

This prompted me to start a community event where people of all walks of life could come and express themselves through music, and I soon found myself traveling internationally to convey that very same message.

:)

Writing Feedback / 'achieving personal wealth is no longer at the root of the US' -Diversity in the USA [5]

I think that if the U.S. used it's power to help people more and fight less, the rest of the world would not have such animosity towards us. I believe we could get water to everyone in Africa if we wanted to badly enough, and could also go far towards relieving hunger around the world, with the technology we have today. I don't know if this has anything to do with how you might end your essay, but I am overtired just now. If I come up with any idea, I'll get back to you.

Essays / (AUBG education) - How to continue this essay? [5]

That's why I long to pursue degrees in business and information systems, which have intrigued and attracted me to the world of modern technology and the global marketplace.

I have always wanted to have a career connected with business, with the computer as my main tool.

Strategic planning, data management and e-businesses are a few of the core fundamentals of my chosen curriculums.

The courses offered in AUBG will help me to develop my skills and knowledge for IT as well as a business workplace.

:)

Graduate / MA International Business Management (emp. Marketing) SOP assistance needed [3]

Since 2010, I have worked in advertising and marketing roles, from ad sales to sales planning on the agency and publisher sides.

There will always be constant change, due to new technology that requires consumer needs to fluctuate, and steady challenges placed upon companies to supply demand and satisfy need ahead of the curve.

Your essay is excellent, I could hardly find anything to edit. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)