Graduate / Advantages and disadvantages of portable entertainment devices (MP3, DVD) [6]

Nowadays, hi-tech products like Mp3 players or DVD-players have become common parts of human life. ---I made some changes. I also made it so that "human" is used as an adjective. It is not wrong the way you did it, but this change makes it sound nicer.

You can always just say "going somewhere" and not going to somewhere.
For example, we can take Mp3 or DVD-players with us during the travelling or going to somewhere. A

As an example, while crossing the street or driving, transport facilities, which these products may even become the causes of an accident.

:-)

Undergraduate / "business or science" - past life experiences, group collaboration, diversity [2]

lateraled me the ball as he----I think I corrected the spelling, but I'm not sure! Never used that word before...
Pretty cool idea.

Got to be more efficient with the words...---> My friends Robert and my friend chase Chase each exchanged glances, for a split second. Then and I bounce-passed the ball to Robert.

Go through the whole essay and trim excess words like I did above. That'll always improve your writing.
I like the diversity theme!

Look again here... less is always more:
Throughout my high school career, I have been contemplating whether to pursue business or science. By choosing...-----see? Cut that cliche, "high school career," and keep only the best, freshest vegetables. Toss out all the chafe, and keep only the cream of the crop. Cut, cut, cut.

:-)

Undergraduate / "it's only a matter of will to overcome our obstacles" - admissions, college apps [12]


I think I understand the idea, here. Often, it is good to cut the first para if the essay takes a minute to get meaningful. But I would actually suggest something like this:

In life we are presented with innumerable obstacles. An example of this is fear. Being afraid to face an impediment is very common in many situations, especially difficult encounters . Essentially, the world is divided into two groups of people: those who have the...

That makes for an interesting start. And then, you can make up for what I cut by adding a brilliant, awesome thesis statement to the end of that first paragraph. Google this: how to write thesis statement

It will be the most powerful sentence in the whole essay.

The capacity of overcoming these barriers is measured with reflected in the abilities that I have developed in my life.

:-)

Nice job!

Undergraduate / " An undiscovered ocean" - Qualities of leadership [2]


I don't understand the last 2 words of the sentence. Also, this sentence is in the past tense, but it should be in present tense to be consistent with the rest of the paragraph. No big deal, though.

Good leaders not born, they are made. High-quality leaders develop through a never ending process of self-study, education, training, and experience.-----This seems contradictory. If they are developed in this way, they are MADE.

Oh, this gets better and better toward the end. I suggest this: delete the first paragraph (I think it is the weakest paragraph), and move the last paragraph up to replace it. Then, go through and do your final draft, and come up with a new conclusion paragraph to replace the one you turned into the intro.

I love that last paragraph... I just don't like the first paragraph. :-)

Research Papers / Shakespeare Iago Vs. Richard III (thesis statement ideas?) [2]


Right here, you have your solution. Look to a scene with one of the characters, and it can help you more than anyone can help in this thread. All you need to do is write a paragraph about what a scene shows about the character.

For ideas about how to approach it, google this: character analysis, how to

It can be ANY scene. Just write something about the character in the scene. Maybe throw in a quotation.

Then, do that for the other character, and see if you have found a similarity or difference. All you need to do is write about one scene in each paragraph of your essay, and for every paragraph you can show something about one of the characters and say whether it makes him similar or different from the other.

If you have trouble with the actual play, use Sparknotes.com because they have great lessons about the literature, great explanation.

Write the thesis statement AFTER you have written some great body paragraphs with sims and differences.

Writing Feedback / "My cousin is really an emotional person" - A descriptive paragraph [13]

Yeah, the great quality here is an enthralling theme. At the outset, you cause the reader to say, "Oh, I wonder what is in the room that shows her emotional nature?"

That makes it powerful writing.

However, at the end or near the end you should actually give a sentence to explain why the color blue, the poetry, the chimes... why do they indicate strong emotion? Explain that, and the essay will be perfect.

Scholarship / "anything to do with computer technology" - Main motivation for applying [4]

My interest and choices at a young age have been the decisive components of my life. bad first sentence. this sentence could be written by anyone, and it would be true. It is a truism, and it is not an interesting one.

Ahhh... now this is an interesting first sentence:
Watching my brother learn to use a Pentium Two machine in 1999, my passion for computers came to the fore. ---nicely written!

Use a comma:
The experience helped me gain more confidence, and I have ...

Nice ending. I think you did really well with this, but how about doing another paragraph break somewhere in that long paragraph.
Remember: one paragraph = one idea expressed in its topic sentence. Make it so that the essay hits the reader with a few clear, powerful ideas. Use paragraphs to organize and empower your ideas.

:-)

Writing Feedback / "English-Opening to Horror story" - Is my horror story effective? [5]


It depends on how you use the story. You can use it in many different ways and change it as often as you want. That is the great thing about art.

I think you should google this: imagery words
Your first paragraph needs some imagery words added to it, and the whole essay could use some more. Imagery words appeal to all senses, not just vision. Smells, sounds... all are "imagery."

He was getting closer. My legs sprung into action, rapidly , and I bolted out of the door. ---I think rapidly does not help, because "sprung into action" conveys the adea of rapidity.

What a crazy story! (the good kind of crazy) You have a lot of talent.
Ever read Dean Koontz?

:-)

Research Papers / Freud, Piaget, Erikson - Major theories of development? [3]

You have great information here, but you need to work on "structure."

You started the essay by giving a lot of info. You should start it with an intro paragraph that conveys only one idea, the big idea of the whole essay. Save all that info for paragraph 2. I think you should add an intro paragraph to the top of this essay. Give a a great thesis statement (a sentence that captures the main idea of the essay.)

Okay, and in the same way that the thesis statement gives the main idea of the whole essay, each PARAGRAPH TOPIC SENTENCE gives the main idea of the paragraph. One paragraph = one idea, and that idea is expressed in the topic sentence and explained in the rest of the essay.

So... I think you should revise the first sentence of every paragraph so that each paragraph begins with a clear, meaningful sentence that supports the MAIN IDEA of the whole essay. And the main idea of the essay can be expressed in the last sentence of the intro paragraph.

:-) It's easy!! Especially for you it will be easy, because you write very well.

Writing Feedback / Parents should give money to their children for their high marks at school. [5]


Pretty good, Haley! You must be one of the Masters of Language... a natural writer.


You know, you write so well and make a strong argument, but I still disagree a little. If the students is given an iPod instead, doesn't that cause the same "extrinsic" motivation you are describing? If you want students to have intrinsic motivation, you need to get them inspired. I think money can inspire kids, and I think it might be good sometimes to let them earn a little paycheck by being high achievers. :-)

To make this essay stronger, google this: how to refute the counter-argument

Writing Feedback / "Arguing A Position Essay" - Against the Death Penalty/Capital Punishment, Revise. [3]

I would change "on the innocent" to "of the innocent"...

and in 1.), it's not the reason that is controversial. The issue is controversial. The possibility of executing the innocent is one of the most important reasons, not one of the most controversial reasons.

First of all, in the thirty-seven states and federal government that currently ...

Execution by elephant was, for thousands of years, a common method of capital punishment in South and Southeast Asia, and particularly in India (Execution by Elephant). If you take a sentence directly from wikipedia, you have to rewrite it! :-)

Just change the words around. You can do it!

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] letter-writing skills will disapear, agree or not? [7]

I agree with the others: you write very well!

However, the thesis statement is missing.


I think that after this sentence you should give your thesis statement before ending the first paragraph. Google around about how to write a good thesis statement! The essay will be so great if you write a sentence that expresses the main message of the essay... and put that sentence at the end of the first paragraph.

Writing Feedback / The internet gives us a lot of information, someone thinks it might create problems. [4]

If someone asks me what was the most important invention during in recent decades, I will definitely indicate that it is the Internet.

The Internet should be capitalized, because it is a proper noun.
We can always surf on the Internet to get ...

use "the"

In the first place, it is not costly to surf on the Internet, and ...

...the result we got is much more than this.

Again, use "the"
To sum up, the Internet not only provides ...

Nice job!!!!!!!!!!

Scholarship / Commitment of celebrating diverse cultures-Annika Rodriguez Program [10]


I like this one because it is shorter. When you write a sentence that expresses an idea that is pretty easy to understand, try not to use more words than necessary. Even this can be trimmed:

I knew that this was the perfect my opportunity to make a difference by bridging a cultural gap.

Maybe this part can be written in a way that is a little lighter and more interesting... I am visionary. As an aspiring visionary, I have always wanted...

Just an idea... I don't know if it is a good one. Your essay is really nice already.

Undergraduate / Describe my self in general and explain why I choose this major. [2]

How did you know this would be answered by a Sir? You guessed correctly, but most of the editors and teachers I know are girls, so the salutation should say "Dear Sir or Madam" if you want to be formal. That is how to write in a gender-inclusive way.

What major are you choosing?

With this essay, you have to show them that you have made a good plan for your education and career. Show them that part of your plan is to attend this school. Show that you put a lot of thought into the details and that this school will EMPOWER you more than other schools could.

Do you know what I mean? Try to write something, and we'll help correct the errors. This is all about what YOU are going to do in life, so enjoy it!

Undergraduate / "enthusiasm, energy, to help achieve my goals" - My FIT college entry [4]

maybe financial is better than economical at the beginning... I am not sure you are using "economical" correctly.

Do not capitalize here: My Grades grades were average with the ...

Do not capitalize here: to finish what I started; it's putting my ...

As for me returning back to school, well, I have to admit its a bit intriguing in my mid thirties; I however, want to accomplish my goals. My hard work and motivation will make everything possible. I can offer FIT my dedication, hardworking abilities, and the chance to try and bring something new. The reader probably is even older, so don't alienate the reader by acting like you are old in your 30s. It's still young!

In the future, I hope that all of the time and effort I have invested in my education will lead me to owning my company. This is too general. The whole last paragraph is too general. You should have specific examples and details. Do not just say, "I work hard," and I want to achieve goals, etc... "own my company." It is all too general. Give the reader some specific examples of the specializations that interest you and the specific contributions you want to make to society. :-)

Writing Feedback / Definition Essay "A Good Mother" [3]

a place where
a moment when
actually, do this:
Every mother has a moment in her life that she remembers every detail.

A child could destroy her most prized possession, but she will still have a smile on her face because her child is safe. ---good sentence!

Without the support of a good mother a child may squander through life a whole lifetime never living up to his or her full potential.---Google the word squander to make sure you know the correct definition. It means to "waste."

A good mother creates loving, supportive, and stand-up people; that is what every good mother wants her child to become. ---another excellent sentence! You wrote a very inspirational essay here.

Undergraduate / Pseo Program (PSEO) participation and academic goals (University of Minnesota) [3]


I think these sentences should be revised so that they do not just say general things... revise them to say something specific about your mission... what are you determined to do?

I believe as a high school student, I have what it takes to be successful at University of Minnesota. At this school, I hope to be able to explore a variety of topics. I also know that I am present with the opportunity to take any classes I want and be taught by some of ...----This paragraph is too general, too. I want to see some specific examples of the subjects that interest you most. What are some of the careers you have in mind? Look to the future, and meditate on your interests.

And if you want to say something nice about the faculty, you should say something specific about a particular faculty member whose research/writing you admire.

;-)

You have great enthusiasm!

Scholarship / What are your educational goals (where to start?) [7]


Great idea!

This task is going to force you to start reading articles about your interests. Maybe you are interested in films and games lately, but for your career you will need to become some kind of expert. What is most important to you? How do you want to make your money?

Read one great article ABOUT A PROFESSION that interests you. Start from there.

When you write your 250 words, keep in mind that is only 3 short paragraphs. Give only the best sentences you can muster!

:-)

Writing Feedback / Ielts Graph (mortality and funding on different diseases) [8]


Yes! That's right... The chart shows (present tense) the facts about what happened (past tense).

This is the same as writing about literature. Thomas Friedman discusses globalization in The Lexus and the Olive Tree. He wrote the book many years ago, but we still write about it in the present tense because we experience the literature/chart right now in the present.

Undergraduate / Why i want to be a nurse ( Nursing School Admission Essay in 150 words ) [3]

It is not because of the smart looking white, blue or pink nurse uniform, and it is not because of the salary that has been rising during these last few years.

...because it motivates me, and that's when the nursing profession came to mind.

This profession is full of adventure and thrills of it`s own, emotional and physical not to mention the extensive coverage of knowledge about humankind and life being life science.

There are times we cannot ...

I can picture myself nursing patients 10, 15 even 20 years in the future, and I believe this college will guide me to develop as an individual and unlock my full potential.

:-)

Undergraduate / "my potential as a human being and as a scientist" - Waitlist reply.. Too colloquial? [3]


Impressive... I hope the reader is smart enough to appreciate the depth of your ideas, here...
Whenever you do a compound sentence, use a comma. That is one of the strunk and white rules of style.

College is more than a curriculum, and I am...
(XXX) is my top choice university, and I appreciate the...

While Carnegie's high academic standing and advances in neuroscience drew my attention, ---Replace this with a specific example of an event that occurred or some publication or project that was done by people to make advances in neuroscience. Know what I mean? If you refer to a specific event, place, publication, then you are being a storyteller. Everyone loves stories.

Same thing with the first paragraph. I think you can add a sentence to the first paragraph that will tell the reader specifically what your unique scientific interest is.

I like the "college is scary" thing, but it maybe should be preceded by a good topic sentence for the paragraph.

Anyway, this is great!

Writing Feedback / Which is major influence in our life, characteristics we are born with or experience [3]

At present, one of the most controversial topics is the question of whether "nature" or "nurture" influences our personality and development most. -----This is the way to use "whether" as your way of naming the issue. The topic is a question about whether the answer is in nature or nurture.

Use a colon here:
... checking arguments above, we can safely reach to our conclusion: although the abilities we are born with my affect our life a bit, the experience we gain from society would influence us most, since we are all social creature.

:-)

Undergraduate / Family and community / School / Experiences / Relationships [2]

This is a powerful sentence, a very interesting sentence: He doesn't want to come back to America anymore because he doesn't know what to do beside stay home all day.

I have not lived with my siblings since I was 10 years old.

However, after the first semester I didn't have the opportunity to establish a social life or do any extracurricular activity because the limitation of time my father set. I have to be home right after school, if I am late...

Going to school is everybody's dream. No one wants to live a life like an idiot. ----wow, this is my favorite part of the essay right here...

Okay, you have such a great personality and communication style. I really like it. I want to recommend that throughout the whole essay you should try to include more sentences about your career plan. Show that you know exactly what you want to do and that you have about 5 or 10 short term goals. I want these paragraphs to all show that you are very determined to carry out a detailed plan.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Ronnie Coleman; Celebrity question - what would you ask a famous person? [5]


cool poetry here. :-)

Hey, no topic is lame. You can do something unconventional if you want to. For example, maybe I would want to ask Charlie Sheen if he wants my autograph.

He cannot be put next to other celebrities like Charlie Shein or Lindsey Lohan. -----Oh, ha ha, it's funny that we both mentioned Charlie Sheen. I wrote that (above) before I read your essay.

He is a humble and hard-working man, and I mean literally "hard-working". ----well, if you say "literally," then you have to have some literal meaning. I don't think you should say "literally hard working." Don't use the word literally here.

This is a great essay, very strong. If you want criticism, here is the only thing I can say: You repeat the same idea over and over, just a little. Know what I mean? You have more than one sentence about some of the ideas. You need to add another dimension to the essay -- a paragraph about the specifics of what you would discuss with him (i.e. pertaining to your future aspirations and the stuff he knows that you need to understand) Use it as an opportunity to show the reader in detail what your intellectual interests are.

:-)

Graduate / "reach my goal of becoming a doctor" - post BA pre med program [4]

Awesome, Jenny. You are a good writer.

...took great pleasure in knowing I was ...

I have learned that the emotional and physical needs of the patient must be met to have attainment of goals.----you can improve this sentence. Google this: active voice, passive voice.

Also, "to have attainment of goals" is not a good way to refer to "good patient outcomes." I think maybe the term you are supposed to use is patient outcomes.

Becoming a doctor physician would not only be a way to honor my grandmother's memory but also to continue to boarder myself in City College and beyond so that I might encounter treasures along the way.---This sentence is too complicated and vague. You should replace it with a sentence that tells what specialization interests you and what books you have been reading due to your interest in medicine. Books by physicians? Articles by medical researchers? Use this opportunity to show them how complex and specific your plan is.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Tourism: Type of company would you most like to see built in your hometown or city [4]


Wow, Joseph, I think it must help a lot. You did a great job, and I appreciate all the time you spent here.

Aja, if you want to type the essay again to practice the correct grammar, I'll look at the next draft and see if you still have any errors.

If you want to use BECAUSE at the beginning of a sentence, it has to be like this:
Because fishing is the man-main job here, tourism is needed.----The main verb of the sentence comes at the end.

...vegetables, sugar, oil and so on is for women.----What do you mean it is for women? The women sell the foods? I think both men and women do all the same jobs nowadays.

:-)

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] attitude to Space Research [9]

Don't say scientifical. It is like this: scientific research such as space research.

First of all, like the scientific research in the past, space research is also the foundation upon which science and technology developments can be achieved.

Besides, the human race all over the world can be the beneficiary of space research, sooner or later. ----I changed it to beneficiary, because the human race is one thing. Ont thing is a beneficiary, but you could also write it like this:

Humans all over the world can be the beneficiaries of space research.

However, we cannot deny the cost of space research is too huge; even though nevertheless, the future of this project is certainly promising for the society as a whole. ----You have many great sentences! It seems that you think in a complex, profound way.

To sum up, we should trust and support the authorities' decisions about space research which may beyond our knowledge and eyesight. ------ I think we should educate ourselves and take action to express our opinions. We are supposed to be the authorities who decide how the government spends money.

:-)

Writing Feedback / What motivates people to change?Any change is accompanied by drawbacks and discomfots [4]

I really like that first sentence. Hey, you should put a space after each comma but not before each comma.

And this sentence needs to be capitalized:
People change because of pain, wanting to be better person, bad conditions of life, habits they hate, wanting to start their life again, and to coexist with their future.

The Egyptian revolution of 25th January, for example, motivates people to change the whole society, motivates them to work, to build their country, to become the best people in the whole world, and many people after this revolution change 360 degrees. Even if the change does not affect everyone, there is at least 10% change in the way they think, live, and dream about tomorrow and about the best life ever.

:-)

Undergraduate / Entrepreneurship and businesses, raised in Malaysia [2]

I'm sorry no one helped before your deadline! I hope you have a lot of success with this. I'll give you an idea about EFFICIENCY. Do not unnecessarily tax the reader's mind. Instead, keep everything simple without a lot of distracting details:

Entrepreneurship and businesses were not subjects I had in mind when I was a child. I told myself I was not creative enough and would not know how to get to the top of the business game like other successful men and women.

However, all of these changed as I took the Year 12 Australian Matriculation last year. Even until then I refused to give in to subjects related to business, how? I refused to take Economics even when I ran out of subject to choose from for my course.

Another reason why I wanted to pursue this degree is...

semi-colon:
I am not blaming anyone else but myself; I guess not knowing where one would want to go and what dream one wants to chase makes it harder ...

This will be successful. It has refreshing honesty and enthusiasm. I think you should be confident!

Scholarship / "my career goal as a lawyer" - need ideas how to write this scholarship essay [4]

Hi Lim, this is a very important essay. You have a vision of your future as a lawyer, but it is not a very developed vision. You may not have read the biography of a lawyer. You may not have read about the various specializations in the field of law.

I think you should begin by reading the biography of a lawyer you admire. You can also read a few books and articles. You really need to become an expert on the work of a lawyer, and that way you can be confident.

So... you do not have ideas right now, but you will have a LOT of ideas if you just spend this evening with a great book or article. I hope you have time to read a different book/article every day for 3 days before you begin to write.

:-)

Essays / Contrast/compare 2 careers I'm interested in pursuing/ Need help with start [4]

Google this: compare, contrast, alternating, opposing

You will find two ways: alternating & opposing.

The easiest way is alternating. Just tell all about one career in a paragraph. Then, tell all about the other career in the next paragraph.

Do that for now. Don't worry about the rest. After you have written the 2 paragraphs, you can give a paragraph about the similarities. Then, give a paragraph about the differences.

Finally, look at all of it and see what is the main idea, the main theme for the whole essay. Write about that theme in an introduction paragraph and put it at the top. Write about that main theme/observation again in the conclusion, and put it at the bottom.

:-) Let's see what you write!

Writing Feedback / "not physically and mentally fit to play" - How I suck at sports [5]

You were using the past tense, so continue using the past tense: I don didn't know what they were up to.

Maybe they wanted to increase my self-esteem, or maybe they just wanted to see me ridiculously play. ----Awesome... you do not suck at writing.

In any Regardless of my other intentions, I always ended up submitting to their will.

The games we played made me realized how I suck at sports. you already said this. Also, I think some readers will be offended by "suck." Maybe you should say it in a way that is not slang.

... felt like a great responsibility like they expect me to shoot the ball or show some tricks. -----Ha ha, this is a great sentence, too.

The other day, my father and I went to the park to play tennis. But when we arrived there are already others playing. So we can couldn't play together.

But playing sports seems fun. I mean almost all people indulge in it. Almost all males are engage to sports. I am determined not to sulk, but the truth is, I want to be part of the game.----Excellent ending... this writing is very good. You have some errors, but they do not diminish the power of your writing.

Scholarship / leadership, creativity and social responsibility- to obtain BSC degree in engineering [5]


I don't think you really do need to introduce yourself. They already know your name, so the thing to do is introduce your idea.

What is the idea that inspires you? What do you want to do? That is the stuff that really motivates the reader.

"Reach for the sky and if i should happen to miss i'd I'll still be among the stars." I have said this to myself since the day I started kindergarten when I was on my daily journey to school, 75km away in Jeddah.

Stepping into the unknown, I however possessed the willpower to take ...

myself to the stars and back and never let anything slow me down along the way! (Right here, add a sentence that tells your academic goal. That way, the reader will see that academic goal as a way of "reaching the stars."

... foresee myself being ...

I love volunteering and traveling.------Change this sentence to say something about how volunteering and traveling are related to your big idea, your big goal.

Below, I'll add a comma and capitalize the "I"
Holding the belief of "Each life is the inspiration of another life," I enjoy ...

...could leave my audience spellbound with vivid details! ----I am not surprised. You have a great communication style.

:-)

Dissertations / Deaf students destinations and further education - deciding a dissertation question [2]


What do you mean by destinations, here?

The thing to do is like this: Collect a bunch of articles that interest you (i.e. articles about this subject.) They should be professional journal articles from your school library database.

If your brain feels like it has stopped working, it is because it has no raw material to you. If I told you that you would be sent to live in Greenland for the rest of your life, your brain would suddenly start giving you a lot of thoughts and ideas! So... give the brain fuel by reading some great articles.

If you read articles about this topic, you will see what has been done in recent years (i.e. what have people written articles about), it will show you what questions still remain to be answered. That'll help you determine what question to try to answer.

:-)

Undergraduate / Communicating the Designer and the Artist: POST-BAC SOP FOR SAIC [3]

I really like the thoughtful analysis in that second paragraph. Your use of the quote in the first paragraph is great, too. You really kept my attention.

I did not come to a sentence I did not like until I got here:
This was largely because I was pursing the advertising side of the creative practice of design and, like many minority designers, I lacked the encouragement and knowledge base from my family of pursing a non-commercial (or even in some cases, commercial) creative profession.---This sentence takes the reader in many different directions (i.e. advertising side, being a minority, lacking encouragement?) All that is quite confusing, and I think you already covered the minority theme enough...

But really, this whole essay is impressive in a way that inspired real respect... not just approval of a student, but real respect and interest.

To make the essay even better, deal with that quote a little more. You did not really address what it means and how it is relevant. It is impossible to not communicate, because here we are sharing an experience. So... how does that relate to your plan?

Through my pursuit of a PMFA from SAIC, I can ensure that my anticipated message is communicated through the most effective medium.------I think this sentence is a weak spot, too. It is good if you replace this sentence with one that uses the meaning of that quote.

Student Talk / Length requirements for CV and any suggestions about how to make it successful. [6]


Yes, this is good advice, here. You can google this: curriculum vitae examples

That will give you a lot of good ideas. And I think the most important point to keep in mind is that you should write it with the intention of showing that you have several very clear goals that you are working toward, and you have a clear idea of what you want to do and why you want to be involved in this program. It is okay for some people to be uncertain about what they want to do, but for your purposes it is good to be DECISIVE and give a lot of details about what you want to do.

Writing Feedback / Barron's integrated essay 6. The origin of life. Stanley Miller. [3]

Hi there, I don't know how to rate it, and I don't know if Susan knows how. We are not affiliated with the TOEFL. However, this is high quality writing with very few errors. I think you can get a nearly perfect score.

Additionally, the concept and results of this experiment are questionable skeptical due to some reasons.

If you say "skeptical," it means a person feels doubtful about something. The correct word here is "questionable." You could also use the word "unconvincing."

Writing Feedback / Article summary about a mother telling a story about her son [3]

Great edit, Aja! Julie, do you understand all the corrections? Try typing it again with the correct spelling, grammar, etc., and we can see if you still have any errors.

:-)

The boy doesn't know anything about the language in the contact, and he cannot read all of the words.

Letters / Research Studentship - covering letter or letter of application for PhD studentship [11]

I have a research plan to develop more points about the possible subject of the common motivated (What does that mean?) by the idea of communism, entitled Critique and Communism.

It would be distinguished from the normative approach of Critical Theory that defines pathology as deficiencey deficiency of rationality necessarily led to healing, although I have obtained this initial idea from Frankfurt School. I will argue instead that the pathology should be regarded from the outset in relation to Kantian transcendental critique by ...

Transferring this (epistemological) crisis into one of capital on the context of political economy of Marx and then supplementing it by theory of (political) subject, instead of transcendental one, is the focal point of the coming research.

I can't say I understand it all, even though I have studied Kant, Marx, and pol. sci. It is a complex subject matter! When I write about complex matters, I try to use language that makes it so simple that anyone could understand. People only pretend to be able to understand very complex sentences like these. For facilitating comprehension, it is good to continue to simplify. How would you explain this to me if I was twelve years old? That is the way to write powerfully, because when you do some of the decoding for the reader you intensify the experience you provide them.

:-)