Writing Feedback / TOEFL:Should parents make important decisions for their older children or not? [3]

I think you can strengthen the intro by naming the two things:
There are 2 reasons why I disagree that parents make important decisions on behalf of their teenage children: __________ and _________.

Then, you go on to explain them...
One reason influencing my point of view is that teenage children ...

Another reason underlying my choice is that teenage actually have enough knowledge to make important decisions. Adults might think that teenage children lack enough experience to make vital decisions. Nonetheless, after studying in senior high schools, they learn basic knowledge and skills from schools to live individually. ----Ha ha, I guess I disagree. I am much better prepared for important decisions now than when I was a teenager. I was stupid as a teenager! :-)

But now that I am older, I still feel that I am not ready to make important decisions!!!

I wish people stopped me from making some of my stupid decisions, ha ha...

Anyway, you did a good job.

Writing Feedback / People are more independent in the modern world? - IELTS [4]

People have different views regarding dependence and independence in the modern world. ----I changed this first sentence so that it is totally clear. Try writing that same sentence about some other topics, too. You can use that sentence for many different situations.

Although some people believe that every human being all human beings rely on one another, I argue that ...

Finally, our jobs are more specialized, and as a result we need to work in teams.

typo: make independnt decision ...

You made a good argument! I guess the truth is that we have become more dependent in some ways but more independent in others.

:-)

Scholarship / "He has stage four cancer" - a significant experience, risk, dilemma [4]

Yeah, it's tough because physicians are constantly exposed to those situations, and it is hard to not get desensitized. And the physician conserves energy in a strange way by not being compassionate.

Well, you wrote this very well. I think you should stop talking about being a "doctor" because if you are really serious you will be reading many articles about therapies and procedures associated with various specializations. Maybe you want to be an osteopath. Maybe you want to be a surgeon.

Get specific near the end, and mention a few of your areas of interest.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Better to watch a movie in a cinema or at home? an TOEFL [4]

Nowadays, many people prefer watching movies in a cinema.

They believe that the cinema has a better atmosphere to enjoy the movie. ---I guess I think that is true...

Wow, you write very well, and I guess you changed my mind! At first I disagreed with you, but now I think you're right.

I believe that the comfort at home is so appealing and admirable for people.----admirable is not the best word to use here. It means something different. Appealing is a great word here, though.

Use "a"-----> There is the possibility to watch a movie during dinner. ---but you do not need "the" with dinner.

Awesome!! You are great.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: About job assignment between men and women [5]

That's why most of the people usually have one or more colleagues of the opposite sex.

Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for females such as nurse or kindergarten teacher, due to women are more patient and careful than men. You can't say it this way. It seems to contradict your own argument. Do it like this:

Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for are more suitable for people with personality traits typically associated with women, such as patience and nurturing, but men can be patient and nurturing, too.

:-)

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Government should build more nuclear power plant as it is eco friendly. [6]

Use a hyphen: well-known

Some people assert that atomic power has ...

Use "while" in the middle of a long sentence:
a fundamentally beneficial influence in our lives, while other contend that it has

Therefore, it is suggested that instead of developing nuclear power plants government should think about other eco-friendly sources of energy, like wind, tidal power, and solar power.

:-)

Scholarship / Autobiography, significant event & professional goal ("a young adult author") [3]

Describing myself has always been a tough task. There is so much to say about myself, I wouldn't know where to begin. I can start by saying that I am a diligent and determined young girl. Do not bore the reader. Begin with a big bang:

When I want something, I fight long and hard for it. I am also creative. I love writing stories, performing for different occasions and helping others with ...----Ah, now this is god writing. :-)

...that we didn't send her back to Haiti to have one last moment with the rest of her family and friends before she passed. ----it's okay! We have plenty of moments every time we come to this world! She's probably here with you now.

I've always dreamt of becoming a writer. I am an avid reader and books help my imagination run. ---Oh, no wonder you write so well. Very good! Read Strunk and White! Also, read Ursula LeGuin. :-)

It took a toll out of on my mother.

If I do not receive some other type of aid, I probably won't be able to go to the college of my choice and get the education I deserve.---This is a very strong ending! I love it. You have a powerful style.

Writing Feedback / IELTS about if creative artists can express their ideas in any way they like [4]


Wow, thank you for makingme smarter. This is a very wise observation. I often think about where the line should be drawn on a continuum between artistic freedom and censorship.

I have come up with some clever ideas about it, but your observation is the most fundamental: unconditional freedom is never possible. It's true. If you have a body, you cannot have unconditional freedom. Also, when you set up a government you all agree to give up a little freedom for a lot of security.

Overall, I disagree with this opinion expressed, particularly because any unconditional freedom is impossible for people in human societies，and creative artists are no exception.---I made some small changes here.

Firstly , I won't deny that creative ----No need for "firstly." It's a stupid word. :-)

In conclusion, we should encourage those creative artists to exhibit their perfect works in any fantastic ways on condition that no negative effects resulted to public and our society.----This sentence seems unnecessarily complex. I think you should simplify it and shorten it. Then, add one more sentence as a sort of "final thought" about the whole issue.

Writing Feedback / position on Arizona Law: support and opposition( one body paragraph for each side). [4]

Im In my home country, name of country, every single citizen has to carry a passport or an I.D. at all times!

On the other hand, not every immigrant is ...

What if somebody just happened to look certain way that would attract Police police, even though she or he is perfectly legal?

To sum up, Governor Brewer's acceptance of the bill only led to major immigrant outflow from Arizona to other, less strict on immigration, states. ---This is not what you should say to sum up. It is an important point that you should write a whole paragraph about.

I think you did a great job with this, but it seems confusing. In the first part, I thought you favored the bill. Now I think you oppose it. You should give an introduction paragraph, and at the end of that paragraph you can give a sentence that clearly says what your opinion is.

:-)

Graduate / "a subject-matter expert" -MBA essay (academic & career progress + goals) [4]


I see what you mean. These two sentences flow into one another.

Okay, one solution would be to put the first 2 paragraphs together as one long one, and it will end with this:
As this prevailing narrative began to unfold, I found myself increasingly concerned about the long-term social/political effects of this strategy, as well as its economic implications. (add a very short sentence here that mentions your intended major)

The thing I am thinking about is like this: make the reader feel total certainty and clarity about the subject of the essay. You have to make it idiot-proof, make it so that ANYONE who reads this and then is asked, "What was it about?" will easily answer, "It was about his intention so major in XXX because of his interest in YYYY, and he has even been doing ZZZZ because he is so serious about it.

Anyway, this is very good!

Writing Feedback / toefl - It is the truth that not all people can do the things they like all the time. [4]


The word is "overweight." It's strange, the way we use this word. We use it as an adjective:
I am sorry I used the example about overweight people. I didn't mean to.

Anyway, it is okay to write about overweight people. Obesity is an issue that needs our attention. Also, writing should not be constrained in any way. It has to be free. Expression has to be free.

On the other hand, something we dislike, to some extent, can benefit us economically and mentally.

Another example is people who are overweight. They have to do sports everyday for the purpose of losing weight, and they sometimes have a feeling of being compelled to endure pain, especially for those whose oversized bodies have become a threat to their lives.

:-)

Writing Feedback / Need help in writing a better eassy on how to solve gang violence in school [4]

Great corrections here:
Violence has increased in our schools within the past four years; more than thirty teachers and students have been killed in the past...

Having more police in schools has minimized gangs activity in school, and it has kept them from entering schools.

And by Also, having hall monitors helps prevent students from hanging around in halls and bathrooms while schools are in session.

:-)

Writing Feedback / "The subject of possession and happines" - Toefl writing [3]

The subjects of money and happiness are interesting subjects because there seem to be many contradictory ideas around them.

Secondly, it is fair to say that the more money you have, the fewer limitations you experience.

If you have more possessions, you can do anything you love, a hobby or activity that you enjoy. ----This is a good sentence!

Finally, use your money to sincerely help others and contribute to society whenever you can, and you'll have...

Great argument!! I think this is excellent. Most people argue that money does not bring happiness. You made a great, unique argument.

Undergraduate / "drug called Adderall" - An ethical dilemma you faced, how did you handle it [3]

Hey Joseph, I really like the way you fixed that first line. I like all of it, but especially that first line. It is not good to refer to "you" in this kind of essay.

I had an assortment of thoughts in my mind at that moment thinking that this was illegal, had intense side effects, and the possibility of addiction. ---I made a small change here.

Hey, you did not really give much discussion about the meaning of this. It's just a story about resisting peer pressure. I think you could make it more meaningful by digging a little deeper and sharing some unique insight. Is there something more you can share with the reader?

:-)

Poetry / "I was born in Korea and might die in Norway." [4]


Wow, intriguing title. I just wanted to mention that it is even more powerful if it is shorter:
Born in Korea, Might Die in Norway.

Very, very cool title!!


Interesting. "And"??? Maybe you mean "Or"


In the Tao Te Ching, it says you can see the whole world without leaving home.


Awesome, powerful line here.

I like your style!
I do not like the last line. It seems so disconnected and irrelevant. Also, I want to be able to use four letter words!

:-) you are great...

Scholarship / "my first public speaking" a challenge I faced or personal accomplishment I achieved [6]

Thanks for being here, Lisa! And if you have time, maybe you can give some advice to these diverse kids we help here.

:-)

Student Talk / How to speak English fluently and correctly? [62]


yep, definitely. And if you are very diligent you will speak the lines aloud throughout the whole movie. Maybe you will even jot some of them down or type them.

:-)

Make it a meditation.

Dissertations / debate on dissertation on selection methods help [2]


It depends on what the school advises. Many dissertations have an introduction, literature review, methods, results, discussion, and conclusion.
But maybe you are not even doing a dissertation that requires "methods."
It all depends on what your school recommends.

Can you interview people? If so, read all about grounded theory and get started. As soon as you read about grounded theory and then maybe read an article that uses grounded theory (search the library database for articles with the words "grounded theory" and "literature review"), you will be ready to start.

About the debate, I think you need to find some other books and articles about this subject. Do you know what I mean? You can only contribute to a conversation if you know what people are saying. So... start by reading a few recent articles. That is the trick. By seeing what they do, you will know what you should do.

:-)

Writing Feedback / "Who gives society something of lasting value" - student's response on GRE, ABOUT ART [4]

I think you have a typo here:
Therefore, it the critic, ...

Oh.. wait, no, you are missing "is." It is the critic who, by virtue...
reveals the aesthetic value of ..

Emily Dickenson's poetry would be disdainfully treated as idiosyncratic treatment of the mundane daily life and therefore appear not remarkable in their artistic value.---yeah, good point! So... the art critic can help the ordinary viewer/reader to appreciate the art. I think that is true.

Is an apostrophe missing here?
...it is advisable to resort to some critics ideas ...

...but meanwhile to keep in mind that ...

:-)

Great job! You write so well, I kept googling to see if you were a student who copied from a professional journal Very, very eloquent.

Research Papers / "Schoolyard Bullying" in reference to the Casey Heynes incident [5]

Don't use however this way. Use but or yet:
There are many different forms, yet it is simply defined as, "the act of verbal or physical aggression directed at other young people by someone on a regular basis" (name of source where you go this in parentheses).

Schoolyard bullying in particular is a prevalent issue in our society. ---no need for commas

... and body slamming him to the ground ---oh, yeah, I saw that video!! Crazy video...

When bully victims react with a power slam, you know something is wrong with our society. ---Ha ha, or maybe that is the solution.

No-one can doubt the fact that Richie deserved it for his provocation, however responding to violence with more violence will never bring more good than bad. ----at this point, I think you are repeating the same ideas over and over again. Maybe you can include a new subtopic, such as "cyberbullying." There are some great articles about that. Or you can find an article about any aspect of bullying you like... maybe an article about a program for stopping it. But when you start to repeat the same thing over and over, it means you need to skim another article and write about it's main idea.

:-)

Undergraduate / "Florence Nightingale laid the foundation of nursing" -NYU Supplement; person [3]

Add a comma:
with Florence Nightingale, who laid...

...she works hard and advocates for those ill people.

It would benefit me if I could work with her under her supervision by taking care of victims of the earthquake and tsunami.

Great idea! So... you want help figuring out what else to write? If you need to write more, you can discuss how this would help you prepare for the work you plan to do. Are you going into nursing? What will be your specialization? What is your philosophy about nursing? I read about 5 kinds of knowledge (explained by a scholar named Porter): aesthetic, empathetic, emancipatory, empirical, and ethical. This would be a great subject.

Read an article about nursing, and it will give you good ideas!

Most importantly, use this as an opportunity to show the reader how serious you are ande how carefully you are planning your education. Make them feel a sense of obligation to accept you because you have such a well-defined plan.

Undergraduate / Having trouble figuring out what is missing with my comparison and contrast paragragh [2]

This is not the way to use "although." It has to be something surprising, like this:
Although walking is easier to do than running, I run more often than I walk.

Walking and running both get me from place to place, but running is much more difficult than walking. They are similar in some ways, but running is faster than walking.

Another similarity with walking and running is that either of the two can be done anywhere. ---good sentence!

...better lung capacity, and a good cardiovascular stamina. Not only are walking and running beneficial, they are also therapeutic.

:-)

Scholarship / leadership, creativity and social responsibility- to obtain BSC degree in engineering [5]

Hi Salma, you are supposed to drive traffic to your thread by helping other essayists. You obviously write very well, so you could help a lot of people.

Capitalize your name and the name of Makkah.

If you use "many" twice in a row for emphasis, use a comma: many, many...

I don't really like the paper airplane example. Everyone can come up with some childhood story like that. I think you should forget about childhood and concentrate on explaining what you are currently reading, researching online, and discussing with your peers. What subjects and specializations interest you right now? Show the reader that you have well-defined interests and a clear plan for the next few years. That'll make them want to award you the scholarship.

Use a hyphen:
six-person household


This does not really say anything. You have to explain what will happen if you get it and what will happen if you don't. Be honest. Maybe getting it will just alleviate some financial burden, but the outcome would be the same; if that is the case, concentrate on sharing with them the seriousness of your plan to show that you deserve the scholarship. It's all about having a well-conceived plan with several short term goals.

:-) you have to think of the title yourself! That is a personal thing. Can you think of a single word that perfectly captures the meaning of the essay?

Essays / Education = our place in the social order / Language usage in public - how to start? [4]

Just stick with one point and write a sentence about it. This is like shoveling heavy snow: if you try to move a lot all at once it is overwhelming, but if you just throw a little snow at a time it does not even feel like work. Pay attention to your breathing. Throw a little snow by writing one sentence about the main idea of one of the articles you have read.

Just write a sentence about the main idea of an article, and then you will see where it fits. For example, if you read an article about kids receiving a low-quality education in UNDER-FUNDED public schools in poor neighborhoods while rich kids receive great educations at private schools... which question would that be good for answering.

You can write a whole paragraph about the main idea of an article you skim through. Give a quote, reflect on the idea, explain the main idea, etc... and tell what it means about the answer to the question.

So, really, if you write one good sentence about the main idea of an article, you can turn that sentence into a paragraph of about 100 words. You can get 100 words for every article you skim through! This should only take an hour or two. :-)

Writing Feedback / Ielts Graph (mortality and funding on different diseases) [8]

Here are some more ideas:
...shows that the necessary resources for research does do not distribute properly according to the seriousness of the diseases in the sense that research about diseases with some of the highest mortality received less money than research about diseases with lower mortality rates.

The comparison of two graphs shows that TB had ...

Both diseases as second and respectively third killer among infectious diseases in Someland took less money than leprosy and tropical diseases with lower mortality in 1990.

:-)
Great job, Aria!
Ajit, I wish everyone gave feedback as thoughtful as yours...
Ratree, thanks for those great corrections! Good call about the paste tense...

Writing Feedback / it is more important to spend money on art and music [6]


In this line, do you mean to talk about more than one city? If so, you did the right thing by putting the apostrophe after the s:

cities'
but when you talk about things belonging to only one city, you do this: city's

Your writing style shows that you have worked hard to learn English and that it is not your first language. It is very impressive for you to be able to write so well. The way you write is distinctive and unconventional. I like it!

Here is an error:
I remember seeing a series serious of pictures drawn by a six year-old girl in an art museum.

Very good job!

The first paragraph should end with a thesis statement that sums up the main idea of the essay. I want to suggest moving this sentence to the end of the first paragraph:

In conclusion, The advantages of building art museums and music performance centers may carry more weight than the advantages of investing money on recreational facilities.

Essays / Photography essay coming up with a question and ideas [2]

This is the way I do it:

Search the school library database for GREAT articles that you really like... articles that capture the ideas that motivate you.
Write a paragraph or two about one article you read.

Then, repeat that for another article.

When you have done this, you will suddenly find yourself with a theme that is totally unique. Is it Article One + Article Two + Your Unique Perspective.

Just start by enjoying a brilliant article. :-)

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Select students with academic ablity or teach them together? [6]

Let's use "the" with "human race"
...with the future of the human race.

Undoubtedly , each individual is unique and owns the strengths others do not possess.-----very good sentence. I just had to fix the spelling of a word. You have LOTS of spelling errors, but you can just use Mozilla FireFox as your browser, and it has an automatic spellchecker. Use Firefox, and when you see that a word is underlined, right click it and select the correct spelling.

Nevertheless, it is still tough problem for educators to seek better methodology with which students of different levels could fostered foster well-rounded development and make progress efficie ntly.

:-)

Scholarship / "my first public speaking" a challenge I faced or personal accomplishment I achieved [6]

Use a comma:
This was not my first public speaking engagement, nor will it be my last.

I am known as "mom" or "auntie" too to many of the youths that I have ...

... family for all generations.

Use a comma in the compound sentence:
I have faced academic challenges the past three quarters at Portland Community College, and it has been an exciting year for me.

Excellent... this is powerful writing. I guess if I am to make a suggestion, I will say it is good if you can give some more discussion to your intellectual/career interests. I know this is supposed to be about a challenge, but you still can find a way to incorporate some discussion of the action plan that leads you to apply for this scholarship. Do you know what I mean? Try to end the essay with some mention of the way this scholarship will affect your ability to carry out your plan, and be specific.

Also, it this really about the challenge of public speaking? I think it is about more than that.
You are a great writer!

Graduate / "Struggle" -Non Traditional Graduate Student writing a personal statement SLP Program [5]

"If there is no struggle, if there is no progress." -Fredrick Douglas. ----I think you have one too many "if"... also, I can think of a lot of examples of progres without strugle! That is the best kind of progress. :-)

to the graduate communicative disorders department. ---if this is a department, it should be capitalized, right? Is it capitalized in the school's literature and website?

Since graduation I have struggled educationally and finically financially with...

Try to eliminate unnecessary words: the past mistakes that I have made during in the undergraduate program communicative disorders, repaying loans that hindered me while trying to receive aid for

I like this: to rise above the confusion

If a specific subject is not my best subject, I should make it my priority!

I want to know more about what you have been READING lately about communicative disorders.

She gave me a month to make a decision. and at this time I had no clue that the field existed. It is not good to highlight your lack of preparedness.

You write very well! Add some sentences to show that you have been reading professional journal articles and books about this specialization. :-)

Writing Feedback / Research about Philippines: FILIPINOS ARE A NATURE LOVERS [3]

The Philippines is a country that inspires me to continue to take care of the earth and enrich nature.

They become good stewards and do the best, just as God wants; God stated in the Bible that man ...

some are currently without names and probably con tain 99% of various kinds of undiscovered animals, trees, flowers, and plants.

I noticed how nature is gradually destroyed -- how green turns into silver.

Consequently, they used it in wrong way, and as a result many lost their lives and their jobs.

I know that Philippines has enough time to preserve nature. I will not stop protecting it and promoting programs to regain what is gone.---These are very good sentences!!!!

Add an apostrophe:
The way of preserving nature is formerly Filipinos' goal in life.

In short, they become became practical thinkers.

Maybe they changed because of economic factors.----good sentence!

As a matter of fact, I am much challenged of by what is happening -- a sort of challenge that measures myself as a certified Filipino nature lover.----Awesome ending!! You still make mistakes with English, but you are doing very well!!!!!

Student Talk / How to speak English fluently and correctly? [62]


Great idea!!!!!


I think it is paying off, because you are very good at it.

Writing Feedback / The best way to learn English [4]

Kathy pointed out some mistakes here. Do you know how to fix them? If you write "although," it needs to be a sentence with 2 parts. For example:

Although most people realize the importance of learning English, some people decide to learn a different language instead.

Also, here is another error Kathy pointed out:
I state you about the best way to learn English.
I will tell you about the best way to learn English.

And here is another correction to think about:
You can study English online at home with threes for three reasons:

Do you have any questions about what Kathy said? Even if you are not sure how to ask the question, just let us know if there is a correction you do not understand. Try to type it again and fix the errors. We are here to help!

:-)

Scholarship / Write a concise statement of your proposed program of study abroad [3]

Oh, I like that correction from Shanice. That is even better than what I was going to suggest.
My family members always talk about how beautiful and great the city is, but I have never had the chance to see it for myself.

Very cool edit there...

But now I have the opportunity to not only be able to see such a great city but also to further my education at the same time. Too obvious. Do not waste words saying the obvious. Get right into explaining your envisioned future.

English isn't my 1st language, and although Russian is my first language it is also my worst.

My Russian can be compared to that of a 6 year-old because, well, that is when I moved to the United States and ---Ha ha, I like your personality. However, I think the essay should have one clear theme, one clear purpose. What do you want to make the reader think about you? I think you want the reader to say, "This is a student who is very serious and constantly reading about engineering, planning the education, and being very diligent."

So... try to replace the less-important sentences with sentences that enthusiastically share your vision. :-)

Grammar, Usage / writing question - is this sentence correct? [6]

These are both unconventional ways of writing. By "unconventional," I mean that they do not strictly follow the rules. When someone uses the word "period" this way, it is a colloquialism. It is a creative way of expressing that something is absolutely a certain way. No more discussion is allowed. It will be this way. Period.

Yet, when I put "period" by itself like that, it is an incomplete sentence. So, it does not follow the rules of grammar. But it is okay! It is a creative use of English.

Will you please write a whole paragraph that ends this way so that I can be sure I understand what you mean?

Writing Feedback / It is not only the teacher who teach the student and student's ability is more important to study. [5]


Ha ha, there are cool, funny people in this thread.

You can do this, too:
However I disagree with this opinion, because the amount of learning is not only determined by the teacher's effort; the student's ability is more important than the teacher's methods.

Jung Wook Bai, do you have any questions about the corrections here? Please practice by typing the essay again, and try to use the corrections people gave you. Practice, practice!

:-)

Undergraduate / "improvement in my social skills and academics" - Why did you choose to apply to UCF? [2]

Use a comma in this kind of situation:
I've always wanted to live in a place that is filled with opportunities for my choice of major, which is finance and __________ (What do you mean by career path?)

Let's not use "watched" 2 times: I watched so many YouTube videos and noticed watched how they all ...

I think it is important to write a little more about what you want to do in the field of finance. What books have you been reading about it? Articles? Where do you want to work? Get specific about the ideas you have developed as a result of your reading.

:-)

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2: Modern world make us more dependant or independent [4]

Keep that first part simple and clear:
In this modernized era, it is unclear whether contemporary circumstances make us more or less independent.

concept of life has been changed but it is making us more dependent on each other or self sufficient has aroused a debate. Although some people argued that they are now being more dependent on each other than the people of previous generations, I believe that we are more self-sufficient then than people of previous generations t o some extent.

It is obviously true that our life has now become ...

Children as well as olds seniors are very helpless without ...
...like the washer and dryer, dish washer, and coffee maker ...

It is agreed that we are now more dependent on technology rather than on other people.----:-) Nice!! This is a very interesting essay...

Undergraduate / "always wanted to live in Florida" Why did you choose to apply at UCF? Just 200 words [3]

So I wanted to find the perfect university for me in Florida, and what caught my eyes the most is was the university of Central Florida.

After receiving information from your UCF website and getting details about UCF from my friend who wanted to join UCF, I strongly believe that UCF is my ultimate choice. This sentence does not help. It is not impressive, and it repeats the idea you already expressed. Make it so that this second paragraph is all about your detailed plan, your goals and interests.

The atmosphere, environment and appearance are just enough to make you feel relaxed and look forward for tomorrow and UCF has it all. meaningless sentence. Tell them about your goals.

It has a lot of social gatherings to give us the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. Every college has this.

The essay does not contain much meaning. I think you should explain to them what you want to accomplish and what goals you need to achieve during your first year. Show that you are very motivated and methodical.

:-)

Letters / Research Studentship - covering letter or letter of application for PhD studentship [11]

It could be because you did not use a descriptive thread title, or it could be because you put it in the wrong category. See the TOS and you'll probably be able to figure out the reason. I'm sorry for the inconvenience!

My research has begun from the an interest on in the relation between otherness and sameness.

alterity?

I think this part is not clear enough: pathology in an era of late capitalism----It seems like a big subject that requires some more explanation. Use sentences that are as simple as possible, because the subject matter is complex.

:-)

pathology should considered from the outset in relation to Kantian transcendental critique by means of distinction between the transcendental and the empirical that attempts to ground the (possible) experience in general.-----See, this is very difficult to understand. I think you need a sentence of explanation right after this sentence so that the reader can understand and appreciate what you mean.