Undergraduate / "nothing ever gets handed to you" - Rice Perspective Essay [4]

ESSAY PROMPT: The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Two double-spaced pages)

Any criticism is highly appreciated...Should I add or delete anything??? FEEDBACK would be great. Thanks!!!!

"Always fight for what you want because nothing ever gets handed to you," I told my sister one day. Coming from a Nigerian culture where people have to strive to get one dollar, I know that there is truth in these words. Raised by a single mother and the oldest of three siblings, I have experienced daily what it is like to have to go after what I want. Therefore, coming into Rice, I will contribute a determined and passionate attitude to achieve my academic endeavors but also disperse my cultural diversity and life experiences into the Residential College System.

In my home country, Nigeria, people sometimes have to beg or steal just to eat. There is famine everywhere and lack of resources to improve it. My mom told me a few weeks ago that when she called my grandma she said that prices on food had skyrocketed. Foods that were cheap before became too expensive to buy. In such desperate situations, some people are forced to be what we call the "419" or in other words thieves, robbing and sometimes killing people to get money so that they can buy food and other necessities.

I look at this situation and think to myself, what if I was living there at this moment? The same circumstance could be happening to me. Because it is not, I am resolute to make sure that I have a better life, not only because I want to but to also give back to my country. I want the students living on campus at Rice to know why I put so much effort into my studies. Telling them about my culture's situation will give them better insight to understand where I am coming from.

Not growing up in the ideal home of two parents to raise me, I have always been raised by my mother. She did not work because she was disabled so my siblings and I coped with government benefits. I was not able to receive most luxury items like other kids. Instead, I received what I could, which was not much but enough at that time. Other items like food and bills were more important. Day by day I wondered why do my family and I have to be in a situation where we have to manage month to month because we do not have enough? The eye opener came when my family and I lost our house and we did not have a dime. Everybody who we thought that was there for us shunned us. We had to fight through this tribulation ourselves. At this moment I knew that I did not want to live like this for the rest of my life. So I strived in school daily to make sure that I make something of my life. I was determined to fight to get what I want and nothing was going to stop me from doing just that.

Knowing that I did not want what happened to my family and I to happen to someone else, I made sure to help my peers at school. Whether it was homework or giving advice, I was there to do it. At Rice, I want the students to see my unique life experience as a guide of hope. I will contribute my time to help students who are going through a tough time or who just need company. I want to be there for those who need it.

Several life experiences and cultural traditions have shaped in what I believe in and more significantly, who I am as a person. I have learned that to get what I want means that I need to fight for it. Entering into the life at Rice, I will be determined to achieve my academic goals and share my cultural diversity and life experiences with the students in the Residential College System.

Scholarship / SMU Hunt Scholarship Essay-- How should I start???? [7]

PROMPT: "Based on your understanding of leadership, how would you use your leadership abilities as a member of a college community?" (MAX OF 2-3 PAGES)

How should I start out my essay? Should I begin my essay with my own definition of leadership or is that too trite?? Or should I state a little bit about my own experience as a leader?

Any ideas would be most appreciated!!!

Writing Feedback / "Where is the Line Defined?" - Argumentative Essay-no OUTSIDE SOURCES! [3]

My professor assigned us an argumentative essay as our last essay for the semester. We can choose our own topics. My topic is about SMU freshman being allowed to drink under the supervision of parents during boulevarding. My argument is that I oppose this decision. However, I need help formulating my thoughts properly. ALLOW CRITICISMS APPRECIATED! THANKS :)

Where is the Line Defined?

What were hundreds of people doing on the streets of Southern Methodist University on an early afternoon? In an event called boulevarding, SMU's tradition of pre-gaming pumps up students and parents with food, music, and a lot of Mustang Spirit. It was the first game of the year: SMU vs. University of Alabama at Birmingham. As a freshman, this experience was unfamiliar to me, but I was excited to embark on this new tradition. So as everybody else, I went boulevarding.

Reflecting back on my first encounter of boulevarding, I remember seeing lots of excitement and spirit. Students ate and talked, while a lot of parents' barbequed food and laughed. Music filled the air. The marching band uplifted the enthusiasm of the SMU community with the playing of their instruments, while cheerleaders recited cheers. However, through the thrill there were some questionable things that I could not let slide. Why were freshman holding cups filled with alcohol? Apparently, SMU had a rule allowing the consumption of alcohol by students under the supervision of their parents. Opposed by this decision, I believe that students who are of underage should not be allowed to consume alcohol under the supervision of their parents because it sets the wrong example.

Underage drinking is not the optimum position to be in because it could be dangerous. That is why most state laws require that the minimum drinking age should be 21. Freshman at SMU are incapable of handling a sufficient amount of alcohol because they abuse and misuse the opportunity. The parents may be there to supervise, but how can we verify that they are legitimately the parents? They could easily be family friends or aunts/uncles. If we can not even verify the supervision of parents for these freshman then what can we say about their actions? They are not ready, both physically and emotionally, to take on this responsibility.

That day on the Boulevard, I witnessed freshman drinking heavily; they drank at least 3 cups of alcohol before the game. Yet, SMU believes that as long as their parents are there then it is fine. However, it is not. These students abused the fact that their parents were there and because of that drank more than needed to, therefore building up their dependence on the alcohol.

Students may reply that "Well my parents are with me so it is ok" Is it really just fun and games?

Undergraduate / An ideal residential community, SMU Resident Assistant Essay Response--How to start? [2]

Hello! I am currently a freshman at SMU and I am interested in applying to be an RA for next year. As part of the application process, I have to write an essay(s). I am kind of stuck on to how I should start, so if you can give me some ideas that would be great! :)

Prompt: Describe an ideal residential community. How would you help build this community as a Resident Assistant?

Writing Feedback / Self-Portrait-- SMU RA Position Essay [6]

Hello I am a freshman at SMU an I am applying for an RA position at my school for the following year. As part of the requirements we are suppose to write 3 essays. I am on my second essay and I don't know how to continue it. Please Help and provide comments! ALL COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED :)

Prompt: Provide a creative description or depiction of yourself and your qualities and how the qualities would contribute to the RA position. (i.e. drawings, collage, essay)

Before you continue, the creative description that I am using is a song that I wrote called "It's Time."

Perseverance. Endurance. Diligence. These are only a few traits that can be used to depict me. I have always been a very ambitious person. My song "It's Time" is a great illustration of my determination and where I want to be in life. I go after what I want, when I want it. I make every effort to succeed in my education so that I can succeed in life. There is no room for quitting in my mindset. When I start, there is no turning back for me.

Undergraduate / "Helping the world" - Medical Minority Research Essay [2]

Hello! I am applying for a medical research internship for the summer. I would like for you to give me feedback please :)

Prompt: Why are you applying to this program? (300 WORD LIMIT)

Langston Hughes once said "Hold Fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." I have held my dream of one day becoming a doctor ever since I was eight years old. My interest in the medical field not only pertains to the practical aspect, but to the research aspect as well. I want to be able to experience what it feels like to be the one saving lives, but also to be the one finding a cure. Although, I will not have the opportunity to fulfill the first desire until I get into medical school, applying for this internship will give the chance to carry out my latter wish. Moreover, this internship will enable me to obtain research experience and social experience.

To participate in this program, would be an amazing opportunity for my future ambitions. This chance can help me better understand the medical field I want to study and provide me with insights that will prepare me for my college years and medical school. Also, I would gain more insight in the research world and how it works. Even more, meeting people with similar interests like me is worthwhile.

In total, I really hope that I will be chosen to partake in this once in a lifetime opportunity, because it would open up so many doors for me. My skills in learning, listening, and speaking would be enhanced. This experience can practically change my life, and for the better. Even more, being in the presence of faculty researchers on a one-to-one scale will prepare me for future internships. It can set me off on my road to my success in doing what I desire: Helping the world to be a better place.

Scholarship / "the scientific article about Cannibinoids" - UTAMB Internship [2]

Hi! I am applying for an internship in the summer and it requires me to write an essay. Can you please give me feedback! Thanks :)

PROMPT: Please describe what you consider the most significant scientific advance you have read or hear about in the last year (No longer than 1000 characters)

In my opinion, the scientific article about Cannibinoids offering a novel treatment for pain in Sickle-Cell disease (SCD), a genetic blood disorder that affects the red blood cells in the body making them become sickle, or crescent-shaped, is the most significant scientific advancement that I have read about within the last year. I was interested in this article because I have the trait for the disease and I would like to gain more insight behind the disease. Using a mouse model of SCD, Gupta and University of Minnesota colleagues studied the pain mechanisms by observing animals that exhibited both musculoskeletal pain and temperature sensitivity, symptoms similarly experienced by humans with SCD. They compared two classifications of drugs in their ability to manage pain, opioids, the only approved treatment for severe pain and cannabinoids, the new therapeutic approach. The results showed that both opioids and cannibinoids equally lessened the amount of pain the animals sensed.

Undergraduate / Summer Internship (interest in the medical field) at John Hopkins [3]

Hello! I need help in editing this essay! It is for a internship for the summer. All help is appreciated! Thanks :)

Prompt: Please describe your interest in the SIP, including your science and research background, academic accomplishments, and future science career plans and goals.

Langston Hughes once said "Hold Fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." I have held my dream of one day becoming a doctor ever since I was eight years old. My interest in the medical field not only pertains to the practical aspect, but to the research aspect as well. I want to be able to experience what it feels like to be the one saving lives, but also to be the one finding a cure. Although, I will not have the opportunity to fulfill the first desire until I get into medical school, applying for this internship will give me the chance to carry out my latter wish. Moreover, this internship will enable me to obtain the ideal research and social experience.

Because of my aspirations, I have committed myself solely to my academics particularly in science. Since I love to learn new things, and I value the significance of an education, it is not a problem for me. I have enhanced my learning ability in science through participation in my high school wide Science Fairs, where I received two first place medals for my science fair projects, one in both my freshman and junior year. My research experience included preparing advanced research projects in the area of behavioral science. In this behavioral research, my purpose was to analyze high school students' (specifically 11th grade) opinion on school discipline since it is a continuous problem in schools today. My research question was, "What are high school student's perspective on the most effective way to discipline students?" To perform this analysis, I utilized q-methodology, the study of subjectivity or in simpler terms, a person's point of view on a matter, as a tool to explain the student's perspective on school discipline. It included constructing a questionnaire or a q-sample, on the particular topic and distributing them among the people involved in the analysis. As this project applied only to my school, I implemented the use of my school's discipline system and program to perform my analysis.

Along with my science achievements, I have been awarded for my academic accomplishments. I had the honor of graduating from high school with summa cum laude and participating in Honor Society. (What should I add here?)

With this limited science and research experience, I would like to expand my knowledge and learn more about the research world. This program would be an amazing opportunity for my future ambitions. This chance can help me further understand the medical field I want to study and provide me with insights that will prepare me for my college years and medical school. I would also gain more insight in the research world and how it works. Even more, meeting people with similar interests like me is worthwhile.

Overall, I really hope that I will be chosen to partake in this once in a lifetime opportunity because it would open up so many doors for me. My skills in learning, listening, and speaking would be enhanced which is important for my medical interest. This experience can practically change my life, and for the better. Even more, being in the presence of faculty researchers on a one-to-one scale will prepare me for future internships. It can set me off on my road to success in doing what I desire: Helping the world be a better place.

Scholarship / "Why career in a health-related field" - Perseverance. Endurance. Diligence. Tylonel [3]

Hello! I am applying for a health related scholarship and I need help seeing if I answered the question fully. Thanks

Describe which experiences or persons have contributed to your plans to pursue a career in a health-related field.

Perseverance. Endurance. Diligence. These are only a few traits that can depict who I have become. And the person that I have been molded into today was made only through my life experiences. Raised by a foreign single mother and being the oldest of three siblings, I know what it is like to go through life with not having enough financial resources. I also know how it feels to not have anyone else but your family to look upon because everybody else has shunned you. However, the trials I faced did not define the person I was meant to be.

So instead of giving up, I fought for a better future. Though my mom cannot fully provide for my siblings and me financially, she has never let that barrier obstruct me from obtaining an excellent education. She always wants the best for my siblings and me, stressing to us that where you are now does not have to be where you are in the future; what you do now is what determines your future. Since she did not receive the full educational opportunities that my siblings and I now have, she made sure that we went to school and will eventually go to college, whether we could afford it or not. This sort of mentality is what made me pursue a comfortable life that I could one day attain. My mom made me see that the sky is my limit; I can do anything I want if I just set my mind to it.

Ultimately, my mother is why I am chasing my dream to become a pediatrician. My decision to be a doctor so that I can help people may sound cliché, but honestly it is something I truly have my heart set upon to do. I have always dreamt of opening up my own clinic in my home country, Nigeria, to help all people who cannot afford medical treatment. I was born and raised in Dallas, but my heart and soul rests in my Nigerian culture. Giving back to Nigeria means so much to me because I know the difficulties and barriers to obtaining access to hospitals there. It is something I feel like I owe not only to my mother, but to my heritage.

Langston Hughes once said "hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." I have refused to let go of my aspirations because I know that if I can believe it than I can achieve it and this scholarship will give me the funds I need to complete my journey to success. To see my mom truly happy for once in her life and to know that I influenced that is worth it all. I am not fighting merely for a better life, but I am fighting for my mother's happiness.

Undergraduate / (don't know how to start) - SUMMER RESEARCH PROGRAM ESSAYS (completed) [3]

Hey!

I am applying for a summer research program at UTSWMC and I need help on the following essays that I have to write. I have ideas (which I will include below) but I don't know how to start. ANY HELP IS STRONGLY APPRECIATED! It's due very very soon! Thanks,

1. What are your educational, research and employment experience as it relates to your training in research?
*Ok. I am currently a student at SMU on the pre-med track. I am a chemistry and psychology major. The only research experience I have is during the summer where I worked for my genetics professor in his lab. I was thinking that I could start out with my typical day in the lab? (or is that too much) I don't want to bore the reader...

2. Describe the areas of particular interests and your reasons for these choices. Be as specific as possible.
* Sickle Cell Anemia- I carry the trait. Also, Cancer, Epilepsy, and genetics...

3. What are your plans for future professional/grad. education and eventual plans for a career. How does research fit into these plans?
* I want to go to medical school but also still conduct research. I want to be able to experience what it feels like to be the one saving lives, but also to be the one finding a cure. I don't want to sound cliche...

Please help me in any way you can! I really desire this internship!!! Thank you!!

Undergraduate / RA essay--Purpose of RA position and responsibilites [2]

Hello! I'm applying to be an RA and I have to write an essay stating the purpose of an RA. So far I only have an introduction. Can you help me assess whether or not I'm going on the right track or is this essay too cliche? Should I begin a different way? THANKS!! Deadline is VERY SOON! If you help me I will return the favor.

If you were to ask me a year ago, what the purpose of an resident assistant (RA) is I probably would have said "to be the parent of the dorm." While in some ways that statement may be true, I know now that a RA does more than that. My second year living on campus has allowed me to observe the duties of an RA most closely. Summarizing my observations I can confidentially say that the RA acts more than a parent to the residents; It is responsible for maintainng good order in the residence hall, maintainng a positive living enviornment and promoting academic, personal and social growth for students. Essentially, the RA is the "superman/woman" or role model for the not only the residental life but also the University.

Undergraduate / 'what type of leadership you portray' - RA Leadership Essay [6]

Hello!

I am applying to be a RA and I have to write to a leadership essay. ANY CRITIQUE IS HELPFUL!!!

PROMPT: How do the parables relate to leadership and as well as the RA position

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, "It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when trying to lead-and no one is there." One of the unspoken qualities in order to be an effective resident assistant is the ability to be a leader-a good one at that. What is leader? A leader is defined by many qualities but in my opinon the most important ones are humility and the ability to set a positive example . Portrayed extensively in both parables, good leadership is a necessity, not a luxury.

"But our brother is among you." Sometimes people tie leadership with reputation, power, and connections. While these qualities are some advantages, leadership entails more than that. In the parable of Brother Leo, the monks avoided the act of service and was more worried about making a good impression to Brother Leo, "the extraordinary leader." To their astonishment, Brother Leo was among them the entire time with a humble heart to serve. While you have individual responsibility as a RA you also hold a group responsibility. You are no longer working for "I", but "we". Together with your residential staff you are working towards a common goal: to provide an unforgettable experience for your residents.You have to push your priorities aside sometimes and think about that of your residents. When you can do that you can succeed not only as a RA, but a leader.

"If a leader is someone who makes something happen, Benny was our leader in friendliness." In the parable a Leadership, one of the themes emphasized was leadership by example. All it took was one friendly man with a "hello" to start a tradition in the school bus. In essence, it takes someone with initiative plus a good attitude to make a change. In regards to the resident assistant position acquiring this quality is vital because there are many policies and rules that need to be enforced. To be able to grab the residents attention as well as gain their respect the RA must step up and uphold the policies of the residence halls in a polite manner. As the common cliché states, "monkey see, monkey do", the residents will eventually model after the RA.

Because the RA position is time consuming, I believe the only way you can succeed as a RA is with balance. I am strong believer in "what you put in is what you get out." The amount of work you put in as a RA will definetly display what type of leadership you portray. Leadership is more about making an impact: what can you bring to the table that can change community for the bette? In the end, you have to be able and willing to take the initiative. Someone said, "with great power comes great responsibility." Will you use that power for good?