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Posts by shalini singh
Joined: Jan 21, 2010
Last Post: Jun 10, 2010
Threads: 14
Posts: 23  
From: USA

Displayed posts: 37
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shalini singh   
Apr 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Finding an ideal community now a days has become a major problem. Vadalism is the threat. [6]

Finding an ideal community now a days has become a major problem.Beside theft and bad neighbourhood, vadalism is the threat which has scared people more in community

Vandalism i feel is one of the crucial problem terrifying the residents.Eventhough community has a good neighbourhood still incidents of vandalisms are recorded,the reason behind is not the people living in the community or its neighbourhood. These activities are mostly done by young highschool students passing by the neighbourhood.Vandalists are not the people whose activities are as a result of there poor living and fight for bread,but these are our young generation people with the problem in their minds.Usually vandals are young school going childrens with lack of proper values to live a life and be a good citizen. Apparently the problem exists in their family and the values which they get from them.

Recently i was one of the sufferor of these vandals.We live in a pretty decent community,most of the residents are well educated. Eventhough our community is one of the good community with only few awful activity being recorded in a past, has become prone to the activity of vandalisms.

Couple of months before i baught a very expensive and luxiourious car, which was my passion since i was a child. I always wanted to be rich for cars. I accept that it was My carelessness that i left the car outside, but it was only for small duration of time. We were inside our house watching tv and my car got broked. To check for the noice i came out and i was flabgergasted to see my car being broken. Vandals did broke my car not to have gagets or someother things from car, Just for fun and because of their unconcious thoughts they broke an expensive car. Similar incidence took place few months back in the car of my neighbour. We can make out that now my community has become unsafe, particularly for expensive car owners.

Our community people gathered for a meeting to plan precauctionary measures for these activities of vandalism. We now have a camera in the house which will record all kind of activities taking place in the community, additionally we have also have plans to stop any suspecious

person if seen and inquire about identity and where about of that person.

I hope that eventually we will get hold on these activities by our present plan of action against them.Indeed we should work on stopping these problems from germinating and it can only be possible when parents of these young children,apparently every parent pass on good values to there children. Parents should take time out from their busy schedules to find out what there young child is doing and hanging out with.
shalini singh   
Apr 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Finding an ideal community now a days has become a major problem. Vadalism is the threat. [6]

Thanks Marge for replying and asking.

Actually its not thesis, i am just practicing essay writing for CBEST, Have appeared couple of times couldn't scored well.As english is not my first langauge as i lag behind.

I really want to get through this time so the topic i wanted to write was on community problems and according to me what is the most serious one.

Sorry look my topic itself is not clear

Thanks
shalini singh   
Apr 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / Jealousy -- a bad human habit! [6]

negative thought doesn't make sense here because you don't think of getting harmed by that person you are jealous of,instead you feel insecured that you will lag behind in the fields you consider them as a compititer.

And this a fact! which is really complicated

At few places expression and sentence formation is the problem,Its not clear what you are trying to say.Paragraph are not properly formed
shalini singh   
Apr 30, 2010
Undergraduate / Cbest Essay on US becoming spectators. [7]

U.S. is becoming a nation of spectators--people who prefer to sit back and observe rather than a nation of doers. "Explain why you agree or disagree with the quotation above. Support your position with examples from your readings, observations, or experiences

United States of America is considered one of the strongest and developed nations all over the world in regard with developments and economic strength. In spite of being blessed with opportunities to develop more for the progress of nation, we prefer to sit back as an spectators and observe rather than working hard to compete with other nations of the world.

Other countries like China, Japan and India are growing so fast that in couple of years it seems they would be as developed as United States is at present. One example which I would like to discuss is automobile technology. Recently one of the American car company located in Detroit is about to close. The reason behind is better technology from other nations like Japan. They are able to sell large number of their cars in America and other part of worlds. Apparently, the reason is flaw in technology and manufacturing of American cars which makes their sale difficult.

In spite of having one of the best education system and schools in world, we are not able to raise enough higher education among people. America depends on highly skilled workers of other nations to do their work. Moreover, most of the skilled jobs are occupied by people from other outside country. Why we depend on these other nation skilled people for our skilled jobs? It is because people don't want to receive higher education in United States. We concentrate more on privacy and having fun in life by enjoying each and every moment. It is not bad if there exist a balance between work and fun.

On the other hand these skilled workers of other nations receive a higher education to work hard to compete in this competitive world and also live a better life. Furthermore, we can clearly make out from the fact that all our solid wastes is being transported to China, recycled and resold into the local market. We can also recycle waste in our country as we are more equipped and versed in all respects but, due to lack of efforts within us we pass on one of the source of revenue to other nation.

Eventually, we want to sit back and be a spectator and we don't want to work hard to compete with this competitive world. We feel confident that we are quite versed economically and have already developed, so we can afford getting our work done by others.

This complacency, can led to a uncompetitive attitude and can stagnate our further growth and development.
shalini singh   
Apr 30, 2010
Undergraduate / Cbest Essay on US becoming spectators. [7]

Thanks Azeri for your valuable comments on my essay.
I will surely take in to account your suggestions.
shalini singh   
Apr 30, 2010
Writing Feedback / Cbest essay prompt :. Imagine that you could have made one change in the past . [2]

.Imagine that you could have made one change in your college experience. Explain what change you would have made and what difference it would have made.

No body can predict future and change their past, but if it could have been possible, I certainly have made some changes in my past life because of which I would have achieved my goals easily as compared with my struggle today in english wiriting and grammer skill required in fields like teaching. Moreover, no regrets for any past memory would have also been there.

As a part of course work in ...

(after edits:)

As it is a known fact that no body can predict future and change their past, but if it could have been possible, I certainly would like to make some changes in events which led me to have regrets in past experiences.

I would have not suffered a lot during my PhD if I would have raised my voice in front of higher authorities, against my advisor. He was the person who exploited me and tried to mold me according to him. I couldn't understand the reason behind his behavior towards me, but what I guessed was his anger for not getting the student he wanted as his scholar, rather i was been alotted as his scholar by the committe. Furthermore, he tried his best to harass me by playing through my future career path. At one point of time I was under depression and had to take medication for treatment. Apparently, at one point of time a thought of devastating act like suicide germinated in my mind for which i feel ashamed and scared today. Moreover, I became unhealthy, mentally and physically both, which resulted in waste of my precious time, which could have been used to work on the research I have working. Amidst all these I lost all my confidence and it got replaced by feeling of insecurity all the time. Yet, somehow I was able to fight back with all these situations and achieve my career goal. I feel now if, I would have raised my voice against my advisor at that time when he was harassing and exploiting me then I would have not gone through mental illness which I had to because of him.

In addition, as an adult we have to go through a lot of good and bad experiences in different aspects of life, as a students, parents, friends and many more. We can't get over them, instead we can make difference by making proper decision at proper time and also by listening to experience holders. Moreover, we also have to make ourself strong enough to face the unrelenting situations as mine. I regret for my situations back then and certainly, if given a chance I would like to change to them .
shalini singh   
May 3, 2010
Undergraduate / Cbest Essay on US becoming spectators. [7]

Thanks kevin for the help you and others are rendering me by correcting my mistakes. I feel this site is really helping me a lot !

Thank you guys
Shalini
shalini singh   
May 3, 2010
Writing Feedback / "always obey your parents" Childhood experience which changed my life completely [NEW]

Many childhood experinces leave lifelong impressions on people. Write an essay in which you describe a memorable childhood experience and explain its effect on your life.

Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember. ~Senecaes .Life is another name of challenges and while facing these challenges, people go through lot of good and bad experiences. During childhood there is difference in level of challenges, but they still exist. I would like to share one of my experiences which completely changed my personality and have an everlasting memory of it, which still motivates me at different levels of life.

During my childhood days I was one of the pampered and spoiled child. Back then I was very careless and never paid attention to my parent's instructions. My father was the person who can be considered responsible for my this behavior. He was the one who tried to overlook my mistakes and instead of punishing me for my faults, he always blindly supported me. Not only he supported me blindly but, also fulfilled my all demands no matter genuine or in genuine. I was not serious for my studies at all, my father was the person who took care of my home works from getting done and preparing me for examinations. Indeed, my mother always tried to teach me basics of life, like work hard, try to do your work on your own, respect elders, always obey rules etc. In spite of my mothers insistence on values of life I didn't followed what she wanted me to do at that moment

Amidst all this when I was in 4 th grade my father met with a severe accident and he was hospitalized for 2 months. My whole family was taking care of him as at that moment his health was on our priority. I was shocked by my father's accident, also I missing him badly as he was not around me to help me with my daily homework and also prepare me for the exams. All this resulted into my failure in examinations. I lost all of my good friends with whom I use to hang around. As a result of the fact that I wasn't promoted to next class. For the first time I realized that I would have listen to my mother and also paid attention to my studies. In addition, it was time when I had no friends to hang out and even my father was not there for me. I felt very lonely and helpless.

At that time once I was sitting alone outside my house, one of my friends visited me, who lived in the same neighborhood. At one point of time we use to tease her a lot and not let her play with us because she was a handicapped, she had problem in her leg, she couldn't run as fast as we were able to run. Yet, she came to me and consoled me for what had happened and also offered me a help in studies as my father was in hospital. In spite of being insulted and teased by me, she still came to helped me to on her mother's wish , which clearly shows her obedience towards her mother. I felt very low in my eyes because of her behavior and I sat and decided to change myself

Moreover, my father got a discharge from the hospital. He was very happy to see me studying on my own and also behaving differently. My mother was more happy and relaxed; it was all because of that little girl, who is my best friend today.

The lesson which I got from this whole incidence was that, always obey your parents and never take advantage of there care and love toward their child. I also got an inspiration from this incidence to help handicapped people. Presently, I want to become a special education teacher to help the children's with different types of disabilities.

I still have a good memory of that incidence, which changed or influenced my life to an extend that I am completely changed personality today and my parents feel proud of me .
shalini singh   
May 5, 2010
Writing Feedback / Eating at restaurants or at home? TOEFL essay. [5]

I have made some correction in between. Essay still need rewriting as lot of time you have used i like this that...., make a story in one flow and compair pros and corns in a paragraph rather than compairing in every sentence.

Good Luck !

vijaya dewaliya
Reply Quote
shalini singh   
May 5, 2010
Undergraduate / Disappointments in Life; 'never lose infinite hope' [7]

Wanting something and not getting it can be very disappointing, but wanting something and then getting it can be disappointing too. Have you ever wanted something, gotten it, and then were disappointed? Describe these disappointments.

Nelson Mandela has quoted "After climbing great hills, one only finds that there are many more great hills to climb. I also believe that our quest to achieve the best as our goals never ends. I realized this fact when I was tired of working towards my goals, achieving them and still remained disappointed.Few among them are:

I was born and bought up in a family where most of the family members where highly educated and were doing very good in their professions. As a kid I had lot of pressure to choose a career path for myself. Finally, I decided to acquire higher degree and get into the field of education. Moreover, at every stage I felt that lot of things are still left that need to be taken care of. After having one degree I had to fight for other, thinking that once it is done my journey to achieve my goals will end. I finished my doctorate degree in a subject which is considered to be prolific and highly demanded in job market. I was happy after achieving this milestone of my career and started applying for jobs everywhere. It was due to lot number of people having qualifications similar to me and only limited positions available I was not able to find any job commensurate to my qualification. At that point of time I felt disappointed because I had a belief that after acquiring PhD, the highest achievable college degree, I will definitely find a job and my life will be peaceful. In desperation to shape up my life and make a living I had to make a compromise and take a job which was below my educational qualifications. My quest never ended and life was moving with its pace.

Similarly, since my childhood I always had a dream to go to United States of America, as I wanted to earn money and attain high standard of living. Amidst, I started applying for jobs in US and was able to get one. Finally, I moved here to United States of America. After coming to America I was again disappointed. Here it was not fight for career, it took over to other amenities like having an expensive car, house and other luxiouries. In spite of having a decent job I was living in a small rental apartment and also had a cheap car, I realized that my life was still not satisfactory. Feeling of loneliness was making me disappointed all the time as my all the family was in the country of my origination. There was no one for me to share my joys and sorrows. Additionally, now I have plans to earn some money and move back to the country from where I am, even though I am skeptical about my this goal and decision.

There is one famous saying by Martin Luther King JR that " we must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope". With all these experiences in life I inferred that life keeps moving and we always find milestone left to achieve. We should keep moving and work hard as life is like a journey and we have to keep traveling. This journey only ends when our life ends.

Indeed, understanding of these basics of life can help us to conquer on our these disappointments.
shalini singh   
May 6, 2010
Undergraduate / Disappointments in Life; 'never lose infinite hope' [7]

Thanks azeri,

I feel that its all because of help you guys are providing, i am able to write and express what i want to and also getting better.

Do you feel that i have problem in grammer, though i am working on it, but don't have idea whether its getting better or not.

Thanks once again
regards
shalini
shalini singh   
May 6, 2010
Writing Feedback / Wine Fermentation [3]

Wine has a very complex fermenting process which required sugar and yeast as an enzyme to accelerate the process .

Most of the grapes are harvested in the fall of the season .

... the yeast may 
ferment quicklyfine , but the flavor of the wine will not be good.

This fermentation process takes a long time, which is why which makes it isexpensive.

The positive effect is that wine can improve relationship with each other. (Try changing this statment it is ambiguous.)
shalini singh   
May 7, 2010
Undergraduate / "to save people's life" - what are your goals [8]

what are my goals?
everyone in this world have different goal .we We all dream about being something becoming successfull in future,we all have an objectif. objective of life for example: Becoming a successfull businessman, Docter,Engineer, Teacher, a Nurse and manymore. Likewise i also has a goel for my life. I want to become a nurse and help the people in there illness. Morover, in order to aquire a nursing degree I have started taking classes and I am looking forward to foster my knowledge and intellegence to have a successfull life and career ahead. Mother terresa has quoted that " we all can't do great things at a time, but we can do small things with great love" This is what my motivation is for and i also want to help other by getting into this proffession of nursing.

This is how i will start !

people who dreams about becoming a businnessman has a goal .other people may want to be in different branches .thats their goals.i do have a goal as well.everysince i was little,becoming a nurse ,was somthinng who always fascinate me .knowing that,i started educate myself by now.further more i will have a better career,indeed save people life.

please i want to know if thats a good start for an introduction.im not good at all at writing essays .please give me some advise
shalini singh   
May 7, 2010
Undergraduate / School - the place where I like to visit again and again and still has influence on me [6]

The place where I like to visit again and again and still has influence on me.

There is a famous saying "Journey of thousand miles begins with a single step". I feel our first school is the place, from where we begin our journey of life. Therefore, my first school is the place where I like to visit again and again and it still has an influence on me. I don't miss a single chance to visit my first school and recall all the childhood memories.

Cherishing memories and remembrance of my first school still brings happiness to me, It is the place where I got my first lesson and learnt basics to live a life ahead. It is hard for me to forget those lessons of mannerism which I learnt by singing a rhyme with my friends. After getting out of the cocoon stage of our parents care, it was the place which taught and introduced us with the different horizens of life, nature and the world. Socialization and making friend, sharing with friend, respect of elders, be a good citizen all these are the qualities which I learnt there. Moreover, major stage of our life from a kid to a grown adolescent we spent at our school, due to which that place still has an influence on me.

Not only I got our basic lessons there but we also learnt different aspects of life like: History, Science, Math and many more subject. Basic knowledge of all these subjects helped us to decide a future career for our self, commensurate with the interest. Furthermore, school helped us to face these career challenges, also it fostered knowledge and intelligence to have a successful career. Its was motivation from our teacher and competition we had at school which made us work hard and achieve success in life.

Amidst all this , I got my best friend there who is very close to my heart; she is more than a family member to me. It is not only because we were in same school for couple of years but we were together in different stages of life from a kid to an adult. I love her and thanks my school for being a place where i first met with her.

I don't miss a single chance to visit my first school and recall all the childhood memories. It gives me immense pleasure to be there and meet with my teachers. Love and satisfaction in there eyes transforms a positive energy to keep moving and make them proud on there basic lessons which they taught us.

I feel they deserve lot more than a word of thanks from us and making them feel proud will be best way to thank them for there efforts. This is all why I feel that my first school and my teachers still has a influence on me.
shalini singh   
May 7, 2010
Writing Feedback / The important lesson is life. The best teachers for the life are parents. [4]

Hi,

This is not at all attarctive paragraph.
Here are few suggestion

Try not to repeat one sentence again and again,
Try to connect two sentences.
More thoughts are required
Please rewite it keeping all this in mind.
I will look forward to see you paragraph.

There is an old saying that parents are best teacher.

There is idea exist. The important lesson is life.

The most important subject is life.repetition The best teachers for that subject are parents.

He always advices me to hear listen my parent.
shalini singh   
May 10, 2010
Undergraduate / Qualities which were inspirational for me of a person . [3]

Qualities which I liked the most in a person and which has an influence on me

It's hard for me to think of anyone else other than my late father, if I had to write about the person whom I admire a lot and is inspiration of my life. Unfortunately, he is not with me now physically but he has left his footprints which keep me reminding that I am his daughter. The greatest tribute to my late father would be if I can follow what he taught to me in my life and make him proud for being his kids.

He was a self made successful man; He achieved success in his life from a grass hood level. During his childhood, in early twentieth century the country where he was born and bought up was not developed as today it is. With limited facilities and amenities he had big goals of acquiring a higher education from one of the top most universities of the world. It wasn't trivial for him, somehow he worked very hard and with his determinations, aspirations and hard work he acquired what he always wanted to. This was a lesson for me and my brother that with hard work and determination we can even achieve impossible, the end result of the hard work is success. Eventually my father use to repeat these lines "It will get sweeter if you will add more sugar; sugar stands for hard work. Never loose hope and always think higher in life". It is due to his encouragements me and my brother always tried to work hard in whatever we did. Resulting we achieved success in the field we worked hard for and today we are doing good in professional and in personal lifes. All the credits behind what we are today goes to a person, who is not only responsible for bringing us in this world rather than he also fostered inspiration in us as beam of light with his experienced guidance.

Furthermore, it was not all that my father did for us. The values to be a good person is also implanted in us by my late father. He taught us that achieving higher and becoming successful should not only be our goal, being a good citizen and good human being is also important. This is the other most appreciable quality which makes us proud of our father. I would like to share one incidence here, which inspires me always to help other if I can. My father was a renowned scientist and professor. He got promoted because of his hard works to the position of Head and Director of his Department. After Joining this position first thing he did was invited all the students and staff for a meeting to discuss the problems they had in the department. After learning about the problems he started working on them and he was able to solve problems of the students. He also worked on the promotions of the employees which were due since decades because of inefficient management of the university and politics of the University. As a result of his efforts everyone who was entitled got promoted and had salary raise which they deserved. His staff and student were so happy that they recommended his name for the award which was given by the government of the country. My father received that award from the president of the country. It was a big honor to him and also to us being his children. The award was a great achievement of his life .

Indeed, it was also a life time lesson for us that if we are not selfish, help other and work hard we will also get back the rewards. I find that one essay wouldn't be enough to describe my father as he was a gem of a person; it is hard to find people like him in this world. It would be great tribute to him if we are able to somehow make him proud of being his children.

There is a famous saying that "There is a woman behind every successful man" but, I feel that if I would be able to achieve higher and succeed in life like him then my father will be the person behind me for that success.
shalini singh   
May 17, 2010
Undergraduate / Texas App. Essay About Family [5]

Hi

I think you essay is asking about a person who is most instrumental. You are telling about mother,father and sister. I think you should pick one of them, whom you think has influenced you the most. Discuss about influence you in whole essay that would be more impactful. i have written one essay similar to yours

Thanks
shalini singh   
May 17, 2010
Undergraduate / Course about which i had expectation which may not have been met [3]

Throughout your school life you may have taken a particular course about which you had certain expectation which may not have been met. Describe your expectation and how that course didn't satisfy that expectation

It is quoted by Theodore Roosevelt that " Those who have never been to school can steel from the freight car and those who have been to university can steel the whole rail track. I decide to give my passion a practical shape by acquiring a degree in the field of environment, but later I found that there is not much we can do other than preservation of existing environment. With having less chances to grow in this field and progress in life I decided to switch to one of the most prolific course of study and achieved a successful career ahead.

After graduating from school, I decided to pursue a degree in Environmental Sciences , as I was always fathom fasinated by nature and its ecosystem. To work in this line of career my belief was that degree in environmental science would help. As a result I studied for three years and graduated in Environmental Science. Inspite of having a Master degree in environmental science getting a job was not trivial. Somehow I managed to find a job commensurated with my qualification and it was in the field of recycled waste. I worked there for some time but I never felt satisfied by my profession. Moreover, it was not what I wanted to do or achieve in life. I wanted to work for nature but there were few or no jobs available in that respective area. I was neither happy and satisfied with what I was doing nor there were chances to achieve a lot by working in this field of environmental sciences. In this progressive world, we need to progress in whatever we do, we can't stagnate ourself and lag behind as twentieth century is known for its developments and progress.

Subsequently, I decided to change my field and pursue studies further in different field. As it commonly said that learning by experience is the best way to learn new thing.Hence after learning the whole situation of my career I decided to persue degee in Information Technology and later after graduating I was able to find a very good high paying job on the basis of my qualification. Here I will like to quote a saying by Danis Whitley " Don't think about consequences of the failure. It is just a change in direction to set you straight in the direction of success.

It is ambiguous situation when we decide for our future. There are always risks which we have to go through before succeeding in life. Sometime we take decision which we feel is the best for us, but the end result is not the one we expected. However, it was my passion and imagination that I would be able to work in the field of environment. Eventually I learnt about the pros and cons of this field that I can give my dream a practical shape by working in the field of environmental science, on the other hand I would not have career satisfaction because there was not much to progress in this field. Hence, I changed my thought from my passion to a practical approach in life and changed my area of career. Today I am satisfied with my career and progressing substantially. As my hobby I work for nature, I am a lead volunteer to protect our nature and extinct animals. I also donate and educate people to work and support us in our efforts physically and by their donations.

In the end I would like to end with Nelson Mandela quote that "The Greatest Glory in living lies not in falling, but it lies in rising every time you fall. There always comes moments in life where we feel that we failed but we should not loose our infinite hopes and should keep progressing without getting disappointed.
shalini singh   
May 18, 2010
Essays / I have to write a satarical essay about modern day life [3]

Hi

What comes in my mind for "life for modern day life " is technological inventions which has completely changed our lifes in all areas.

You can discuss about advance transportation, communication, medical and many other fields which has changed due to technical advancements.

Good Luck!
shalini singh   
May 18, 2010
Undergraduate / Texas App. Essay About Open Mindedness [4]

Hi
Your essay has good content, usage of word at some places was not correct like bettered...
Try not to repeat sentence on and on.
at few places sentence or what you are trying to tell is not clear eg
Instead of only being open to knowledge that confirms your beliefs, you are open to all kinds of knowledge, regardless of any kind of bias. You may not accept the knowledge as something you believe, but at least you are open to hearing about it. This is another way open mindedness can bring people together. When we are all educated, and can share our points of view on issues - though they may be different - we can gain so much from it.

Once you learn about other people's beliefs and ideas, you can begin to question your own beliefs to find who you are and what you believe in. Open mindedness is a characteristic that develops character. It involves acknowledging, but not necessarily accepting, and questioning, but not necessarily rejecting. In my mind, to be open-minded is to be sure of yourself and of your beliefs. When you are flexible in your beliefs and ideas, you can be flexible in your life and really become a citizen of the world.

Try to make it more clear.
Good Luck
shalini singh   
May 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / Parents should encourage their high school students for part time jobs ! [4]

Some parents encourage their high school students to get an after-school or weekend jobs. Other Parents cite the importance of getting good grades, discouraging their high school students from getting after school or weekend jobs.

What is your opinion , support with example.

Working twenty years for a job may not give a satisfaction which a highly prolific and demanding job can offer in ten years. Everyone has some goals for their future lives and to achieve those goals one has to be focused and work hard. It is said that time is precious, better utilization of time is something which help us to pave our way towards success. In my opinion parents should encourage their high school students to work hard and remain focused on getting good grades and achieving success in future life.

Time is money; I feel that parents should not encourage their children for a part time job or weekend job because any type of work requires a lot of hard work and efforts. Subsequently,it take away lot of energy and time from a student which he could have used for enhancing his proficiency level in terms of knowledge and intelligence. Completion of a diploma or degree should not be soul goal for students, acquiring good grades is most important and is also helpful for getting into higher studies or most demanding job. One of my high school friend once came to me with a small gift which she got for me. She told me that gift was from her first earning which she got from working in a store during weekends. Working in weekends seemed great to me and I also asked my parents whether I can work during weekends. My parents didn't agreed , I was very upset on them because I thought that they don't want me to be self depended and it is there narrow mindedness that they are not allowing me to work. Finally, high school results were declared and I really scored well. My friend couldn't score what she expected from herself, she was below average marks. Consequently, she couldn't get admission in good colleges and she had to compromise and she went to a college which was not reputed. On the other hand I was able to get admitted in one of the reputed university in which I applied for. That day I realized that my parents decision back then helped me today because it was all due to my good grades and my basic knowledge and intelligence I am able to do what I desired for.

Moreover, I feel that when kids start working early they become self dependent and inturn their parents loose control on them. Early exposer to money sometimes is the cause of derailment from the goal. Young children those who are not dependent on their parents for money even don't take consent from their parents for what they are intended to do. Due to lower level of maturity sometime they get into things which completely ruin their lives. One example which I would like to share is of my younger cousin brother. He at very young age started working and was self dependent. Initially he started staying out more and to stay out money is needed which he had from his job. Whenever he was asked about his where about he gave reasons that he is busy with work, studies etc. Admist all this, one day police came to my uncle's house and they were there to arrest my cousin, who was absconding after getting involved into a drug dealing and gang violence. Me and my family was astonished when we learnt about all this about my cousin. My cousin was supposed to appear in his final exam of high school and now he was hiding after getting involved in such a awful act. It all budded in him because of his exposure to money and self dependence. Rather than working hard for his future career he got involved in all these crime which ruined his life ahead. Kids in high school are not matured enough to take a decisions which are good for them in longer run.

As there is famous saying that "sailing in two boats will take you no where" we should do what is required at that particular stage. Hence, high school student should be focused on acquiring good grades which will benefit them in getting into good colleges universities and professions.

As a conclusion I would say that high school students have whole life to prove themselves, earn money and become self depend. They should think higher in life and should remain focused to endeavor higher goals and avalanche of success for life ahead.

As once it is said by Abraham Lincon that " It not the number of years which is counted, it is the life you had in years will be counted". So to achieve higher in life and live a good life ahead high school student should value time and their energy.
shalini singh   
May 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / Today we have a variety of food and we have various choices to prepare food [3]

When i was going through your essay i found that you are a strong supporter of eating outside and better cooking facilities today.
Later i found that you yourself countered your point
if it is compair and contrast essay please make two paragraphs.
in one paragraph tell the benefits like time, busy schedule no boundation to cook everyday
In second paragraph you can discuss about the quality of food and also the expenses as compared with food at home

Rest there is problem in expression and repetition of sentences which need revision

Good luck
shalini singh   
May 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / People are moving in to the big cities for more comfortable and convenient life [10]

One of the reasons why people are preferringprefer to live in cities is more job opportunities.

BigLot of money and high standard of living lure many persons to try their luck in cities.

Your essay is good and is convincing why people are moving to metros.
Many points can be added like- better life style, medical facility, education of kids etc
Your reasoning also has two very solid reasons why people get fasinated by life in metros

Good Luck

shalini singh   
May 22, 2010
Undergraduate / Memories of a teacher from elementary school. [2]

Compare a time in your life when a teacher helped you and a time when a teacher hindered you, explain which teacher you learned the most from as a result of these experiences.

Parents and teacher play important role in a life of a person. Some teachers are fully dedicated to their jobs and their prime goal is to help their students.On the other hand there are teachers who don't understand the glory of being in a respectable profession like teaching, satisfaction and appreciation teachers get from their students by helping them. I would like to share my experiences of a very helpful and ideal teacher whom I admire a lot and a teacher who tried to hinder my path of success. Because if situation created by him I learnt valuable lesson that confidence in ones self is something which always helps to pave a way in a path of difficult situation and achieve success in life

When I was in elementary school, I use to be very shy and was not at all confident. In spite of being decently talented in field of education, art, music etc I never muster enough courage to present my talent in front of a group of people or fellow students. My parents always forced me to participate in competitions held in school and I always escaped from such participations. Mrs Mathews teacher of my fourth grade somehow noticed my weakness of not willing to present my talent. She was able to convince me to overcome my shy nature with her support, encouragement and appreciation. She taught me to always believe in myself and have confidence in whatever I intended to do. She also taught me that confidence is something which will always help me in moving towards my goal. Since then I am able to overcome my shyness and I am a confident girl now.No matter where I am today, in whatever situation I am, I always believe in myself and my abilities, which helps me to keep moving. All the credit goes to my fourth grade teacher Mrs Mathews. In a nutshell, I will never forget her for understanding my weaknesses and the help which she provided to overcome them, which completely had a positive influence in my life.

Other than having good memories of Mrs Mathews I also have a bitter memory of one of my teacher of college days. It was during when I was working on my post graduation program. My teacher who was my advisor for a project of post graduation tried exploiting me in different ways. He never gave me proper information on how to start or work on the project i was being alotted. He never supported me and always tried and created obstacles in my path like not passing correct information related to work. Not only this without properly cheaking my results he would cast them as invalid. Being skeptical of his intentions I approched other professors who also worked in the same field, they found my results to be valid. I couldn't understand the reason for his behavior but what I came to know form other staff of the department was that he wanted some other student as his project assistant or student and I was allotted to him as his student. Because of this reason he not only harassed me by his behavior but also always hindered my path. He always tried to create situation for me to quit that project incomplete. It was hard time for me having him as a teacher, somehow I was able to overcome all the obstacles and with my unrelenting endeavor I was able pull it through. I still have nightmares of my post graduation days when everyday my teacher created problem in my path. Eventhough my teachers behaviour towards me was not favourable,still i learnt a valuable lesson of my life from my experience. Nothing is impossible if you believe in yourself and remain focused. Unrelenting confidence in ones

self is the key to the success.

It was because of lessons of Mrs Mathews which always helped me to believe in myself and remain confident.It was my confidence which helped me to cross all the boundaries and fathom obstacles raised in my path of success. At one hand lessons of a fourth grade teacher helps me to overcome my weaknesses and fight back all the tough situations in my life, on the other hand there are memories of a teachers which always fills my heart with feeling of agony and also strengthened my believe that nothing is impossible if you believe in yourself and with confidence and determination no milestone is unattainable.

As it was once said by Albert Einstein that "Its supreme art of a teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge". I also believe that Mrs Mathew played a role of a supreme teacher in my life.All the good values that I learnt from my fourth grade teacher Mrs Mthews and difficulties I faced because of my post graduation teacher had made me a more confident,more assured person. Because of these experiences I feel that I can overcome any difficulty in my life that may come in future
shalini singh   
May 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / Computer based Instructions ! Good or bad. [4]

Every year more and more computers are used for instruction .Is this good or bad? Discuss and explain your opinions on the growing use of computer assisted instruc tion in the class room. support your opinions with the specific examples from your personal experience, readings or general knowlege.

Computer is one of the blessings of technological inventions of twenty first century which has bought positive effect in our lives. Computer based instructions in colleges are one of the current technological achievement. In my opinion computer based instruction has positive impact on teacher as well as student and is one of the convenient way to deliver lecture.

With the advent of technological inventions in various fields in twentieth century. One of the major advancement visualized in schools and colleges is computer based instructions. Teachers now don't have to worry about preparing notes and preserving there old notes from getting damaged. They can prepare a lecture in a impressive way with the help of power point, more clear and understandable. Apart from this teacher now don't have to worry about carrying their lectures to the class, They can carry large number of pages of a lectures to the class in a small device like zip drive. They can also have backup of there documents to protect from being lost.

On the other hand students also don't have to concentrate on even single uttered word from their teacher to pen it down. They can concentrate more on lectures as they can receive handouts from teachers for the notes of the lectures. Nothing can be more convenient than having lecture through computer or computer based lectures.

Not only this, computer based instructions have also avail people an opportunity to study, who are at distant locations, have less time, new moms and many other such people who can't coming to the campus for the class. Nowadays physical presence in a class is not required, all they need is computer and an internet connection. If there is a need and desire to have a qualification, no matter wherever you live it is possible because of these computer based instructions.

Indeed computer has bought a revolution all over in various fields; Not only computers based instruction has benefited students and teachers in different ways. Now it is also possible to prepare impressive and clear lectures which helps students grasping better and also storage of humongous data is possible which has reduced bulk from cabinets and easier to carry and circulate .
shalini singh   
May 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / Computer based Instructions ! Good or bad. [4]

Thanks
Name _here, I really appreciate your corrections and also keep them in my mind in future. I also appreciate you for catching critical minute mistakes. They are very important and I want to work on that. I always write in a hurry and make a critical mistake which you have marked.

Thank you very much for making my essay better !

Shalini
shalini singh   
Jun 1, 2010
Undergraduate / 'I lost confidence in myself'; Difficulty making an important decision [2]

Describe a particular time in your life when you had difficulty making an important decision. Identify the situation and explain whether you were able to resolve the problem. if it was resolved the how ? if not then why not - what happenend .

Life is full of challenges, to overcome these challenges proper decision making ability at
adequate timing is the most important thing to do. I remember a situation in which I had to make a decision which was not easy at that time. Back then I made a decision for my future and I am satisfied and happy with my decision now.

Every kid while growing goes through lot of pressure from their parents to choose a best career path for themselves. Some parents try to enforce their choice of a career on their kids, on the other hand some parents give this opportunity to their kids to choose a career for themselves. My parents were also among one of them who gave this big responsibity to decide a career for myself. My immature and inexperienced way of thinking hindered my thoughts of practical approach in life. Being unaware of pros and corns of fascinating careers for me and my capabilities I decided to go for modeling. My parents at that moment didn't raise their voice for my decision of career. I am very sure that they wanted me to learn by my experiences. I started applying for schools and training in this line. After getting in touch with people of this field and learning about pros and corns of modeling I realized that it was not my cup of tea.Situation became ambiguous, my fascination and quest of having a fascinated career for my self came to an end. Now it was not trivial task for me to think against my liking and dreams which I had and decide some totally new career line for my self.

Moreover, I became little skeptical about my ability of making a decisions, as I lost confidence in myself. Finally, I started observing people around and was able to make a decision for my future life. I decided to get into the field of education and become a teacher. I found that teaching is something which is in my blood as my father was also in the same fields. I realized that teaching is something which is respectable, with less hidden chances of surprises and it is a career in which we can have a good balance in career and family life. My familiarity in this field helped me to regain my confidence and also helped me to take this strenuous decision for my future life.

I was welcomed and also appreciated for my this decision of having a teaching as a career for my self.Indeed, my father was very proud and happy to know that I will be following his foot prints. He very proudly remarked on my decision that "teaching is a way you can spread your knowledge and also offer back to the society you live".

In a nutshell, making decision for a life ahead is not always easy. At one point of time I was given opportunity to decide my future career life. Lack of experience and immaturity were obstacles in making a right decision according to my ability. Finally in time I had a realization that it was not my cup of tea and will not get a satisfaction in life if I won't change my mind. Finally, I came up from this ambiguous situation of mine and decided a career path for myself which was familiar to me. Today I feel and thank God for helping me to take that important decision of my life because of which I feel very satisfied and happy.

Proper decision making ability at adequate time helps to face and conquer the challenges and give happiness and satisfaction in life.
shalini singh   
Jun 4, 2010
Writing Feedback / Focus on creative expression should be given importance or not ? [5]

Some argue that focus on creative expression (artist, poets ,musicians ) are not as important as occupation that emphasize analytical expression (lawyer, docter,engineer) To what extent do you agree or disagree with the argument? Support examples ,

William shake sphere once said that "An objective of an art is to give life a shape". I also feel if creative expression gives pleasure and satisfaction and gives our life a shape we should consider it as an important and we should try to have it as a career.

It is my believe that one should choose an occupation according to their interest and passion. Any type of work is not bad if you enjoy doing it and is of your interest. It is very important for us to realize what our interests are and what we want to have as a career. Some people are forced against their liking for choosing an occupation and as a result they are not able to give their best in it. On the other hand, people who get this opportunity to present there talent sometime does better than other careers like doctor, engineer etc. Moreover I would like to present an example in support of both the situations of life. One of my close friend was a very talented, she was very creative in arts and crafts. She was not encouraged in her family for all her talents, rather she was always forced by her parents to study more and try to focus more on other career lines like Medical and engineering. As she didn't want to hurt and bother her parents, she tried her level best for these analytical careers by keeping her interest in arts & crafts on the back burner. Somehow, with her hard work she got admitted in an engineering course. Her parents were very happy for her, in fact she never looked that excited for her future. After finishing her course she got a job in a reputed company and she started working for it. Furthermore, after couple of years I came to know that she is no more in job as she was been terminated for her bad performance and inefficiency, this was very hard for me to believe as I was quite aware of my friends abilities. Finally, I was able to get in touch with my friend after trying hard for it; she is a changed person now. I found her very happy and it was little surprising for me as I had an impression that she might be going through lot of stress as she lost a job, but I found her totally different. When I asked her about all this changes she replied that loosing a job was a blessing for her life. After being terminated she presented her art and craft in an exhibition and she was very much appreciated for her crafts and got lot of assignments from though out country. Now on the basis of her arts and crafts she has become a famous artist all over world and is doing very well in it, as a career. Her parents regret now for enforcing their decision on her as well.

Not only this, my other friend who was very good dancer in school. Recently I met with her, and found that she has become a choreographer and she organizes live and television dance programs. Dance was her passion and also she joined schools for dancing with the support and encouragement from her parents. She said that it was all because of her parents she achieved a great success in life and she is very happy and satisfied by her life. I feel she is doing better that she would have done being in an analytical career line.

In a nutshell, any type of work whether creative expression or analytical work require persons ability to do that job as well as interest in it. Some people are born talented in different field of creative expression like music, art, craft, writer etc after realizing that they are extraordinary in these field they should be allowed to pursue their interest as an occupation, they shouldn't be forced for any other occupation. With their extra ordinary qualities they can also achieve great success in those fields. Lot of examples of musicians and artist are there like Britney sphere, Michael Jackson, Shakira, Lata mangeskar and many famous artists which can be taken into account to prove that they are doing equally good or better than people of other occupations.
shalini singh   
Jun 4, 2010
Writing Feedback / Focus on creative expression should be given importance or not ? [5]

Thanks Manyanda,

You are write, spelling problem is usually seen in my essay's. I will keep in mind and yes names should be capital, and belief this was mistake. Thanks for the correction, i will keep it in mind in future.

Regards
Shalini
shalini singh   
Jun 10, 2010
Writing Feedback / Ungraded classrooms, which consist of students grouped by level of achievement [2]

some educational experiments have included ungraded classrooms, which consist of students grouped by level of achievement rather than by age. Imagine that such an ungraded classroom system is suggested for your school. as a parent write a strong argument

(either pros or cons ) to be read at the next meeting of Board of Educationons


Ungraded classrooms consisting students, grouped by level of achievement rather than by age is a approach to accelerate the gifted students. In my opinion this approach to identify the gifted students and help them to accelerate by putting them together in an ungraded class room is a good decision and will be helpful to these students.

As we know that some students are born with the gifted intelligence and they are distinguished individuals from the majority, these are brains of entrepreneurs. Grading them with other average students will not be the right thing to do. Although age matter for the development of the brain, but for these exceptions age doesn't matter they are born intelligent. Identification of these brains and providing them help in the form of accelerations like, early admissions, double promotions, ungraded classrooms will save their time and also help in substantial growth of their intelligence level. Admist, if I had to take decision for my school as a principal or as a teacher for the student who has a proficiency level of sixth grade in spite of being in fifth, precisely have an ability to solve complex mathematical problems, which are way ahead than their age. I will provide such students a extra help to foster their intelligence level in a right direction by making extra arrangements like ungraded classrooms for them and will also assign a experienced teacher to help them. Moreover, I feel ungraded class room setup, teachers helping and testing them will provide an intelligent successful brain to the nation like Einstein, Curie, franklin, Edison, Ohm and many more .

Not only ungraded section will help these gifted students by fostering them knowledge according to their level of intelligence, but it will also take away the boredom of studying a curriculum way below their level of intelligence. It's also being recorded that gifted students has tendency to suicide as compared with the other students. These students are intelligent, they expect more from normal/average and in case of dejections and dissatisfaction they are more prone to commit a suicide.

To conclude, If I would be given chance to make a decision for my school for ungraded classrooms with no age limitations, I will strongly be in support of it. To help students with greater proficiency level distinguished from the other average students and will provide them every possible help to grow their intelligence level substantially.
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