Undergraduate / "My Significant experience" From reticient to confident --Commonapp Essay [5]

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I wrote this earlier today,so I know there are probably a few grammatical errors maybe even a couple. I'm not that strong of a writer ,so all the possible feedback would be greatly appreciated.

When I look back at my early childhood, I distinctly remember some of my fellow classmates at recess who were always picked last to be on a team. They usually were not the most sporty or loquacious people. They often kept to themselves and fashioned small congregations after being rejected to join a team. I was once one of those kids reserved, bashful, and always known for intellectual skills rather than athletic skills. However, being taller than the average 5th grader always led people to think I was the next Michael Jordan. Consequently, when it came to basketball; I was often picked to join one of the teams. After the team viewed my lack of coordination with the basketball, they soon asked if anyone else would like to play and take my spot.

Since, I wasn't the finest athlete during elementary school; this refutation led me to focus on other endeavors such as my academics. During middle school, I decided to pursue my academic interest competitively on the debate team. While on the debate team, I met people of all ethnicities and backgrounds with one common goal of being the best debater possible. Through debating, I learned to articulate my ideas with confidence. My shyness and reticent manner slowly faded as I practiced on the debate team. After the debate team season ended, I came to grasp that I was solely known for my academic interests. Something was missing, but I wasn't sure what exactly. While, I greatly benefited from the debate team, I realized that I veiled my previous rejections with the debate team. I confidently decided to clinch my past rejections, and surpass the "smart guy" on the debate team label which I was bestowed.

Towards the end of middle school, I received an acceptance letter to the Science and Technology Magnet Program at a local high school. Initially, I knew hardly anything about the school, but contemplated the occurrence might be a pleasant, new experience. I knew the next four years would be imperative for university, so I took a break from extramural activities for 9th grade.

After taking a four-year hiatus from sports, I decided to try out for my school's varsity soccer team. Conditioning was enormously gruesome and exhausting as we completed several offensive and defensive drills for hours. At first, I feared adjusting to the physical contact and pace needed to play soccer would be complicated. Unlike in elementary school, the coach disregarded my abilities and was able to teach me the skills needed to play the game competently. There were times where I felt my legs would die out as I watched the other guys execute drills almost effortlessly. I thought maybe I should just give up, but I remembered that David Viscott once said, "In the end, the only people who fail are those who don't try." The tryouts were even more exhausting, I put my best foot forth but I knew I was competing with players who were trying to become college-level soccer players. I was restless and anxious to see the results. I thought my efforts might have been futile. One week after tryouts, I walked fretfully to view the results. This piece of paper labeled "Varsity Soccer Roster" held great empowerment over people as we anxiously waited for the coach to post the results.

To my surprise, I made the team. The excitement that flew by me after seeing those results was short lived. I now was on the team, but I knew the entire varsity team was now contending for positions. Being one of the younger guys on the team, the older teammates decried my skill level and could not ponder upon how I made varsity. The coach favored the older players for their skills and maturity. Hence, most of the younger players received very little playing-time. During, one game in particular, we were tied one-to-one. The chief goal-scorer got injured, and was taken off the field. The coach hesitantly told me to play his spot. I eagerly jumped off the bench and proceeded onto the field. When I received the ball, I worked unexpected magic and wowed the crowd as I dribbled through defenders and scored the winning goal. I didn't get much playing time that year, outside of when the "star" players were injured. After that season, I learned the other players weren't criticizing my skills out of spite, but merely to assist me in developing my skills. In addition, my perseverance and endeavors taught me that the nothing is out of your reach. My new founded confidence is now instilled in all aspects of my life whether it's meeting new people, preparing for an exam, or even playing on the field.

As my senior year slowly comes to a close, I look at the younger members of the team and notice similar traits I had when I was younger. I eagerly voice some words of advice that they're not the only ones struggling, because most of us had to work ardently to improve. Through the journey, I gained confidence in myself, pride in my work, and learned that if you work hard enough anything is possible.

Undergraduate / "Do you think there are those whose contributions aren't recognized" -UMD Essay [4]

Do you think there are groups of people whose potential contributions have not yet been fully realized or appreciated? What is something you have done, or would like to do in the future, to support one of these causes or groups?

The essay can only be 300 words so i tried to do my best.If you want me to review your essay afterward, I surely will be glad to do so.

After taking a two-year hiatus from competitive sports, I decided, after extensive convincing from friends, to try out for our school's varsity soccer team. Conditioning was extremely gruesome and exhausting as we completed several offensive and defense drills for hours. The tryouts were even worse, I put my best foot forth but I knew I was competing with players who were trying to become college-level soccer players. Two weeks after tryouts, I walked anxiously to view the results. This piece of paper labeled "Varsity Soccer Roster" held great empowerment over people as we anxiously waited for the coach to post the results.

To my surprise, I made the team. The excitement that flew by me after seeing those results was short lived. I now was on the team, but I knew the entire varsity team was now contending for positions. Being one of the youngest guys on the team, the older teammates decried my skill level and could not ponder upon how I made varsity. The coach favored the older players for their skills and maturity. Hence, most of the younger players received very little playing-time. During, one game in particular, we were tied one-to-one. The chief goal-scorer had been injured, and was taken off the field. The coach hesitantly told me to play his spot. I eagerly jumped off the bench and proceeded onto the field. When I received the ball, I worked unexpected magic and wowed the crowd as I dribbled through defenders and scored the winning goal.

Mary Douglas once said, "Behind a leader there must be followers, but they should always be on the lookout for the main chance and ready to change sides if the current leader doesn't deliver. Despite the odds and criticism from teammates, my attempts allowed me to demonstrate my full potential.

Scholarship / "when I hear about history" - the subjects with which you had difficulty [5]

Discuss the subjects with which you had difficulty. What factors do you believe contributed to your difficulties? How have you dealt with them so they will not cause problems for you again? In what areas have you experienced the greatest improvement? What problem areas remain? (7800 Characters)

So I have about 7 more of these types of essays to do, but this one was roughly done in like a few hours.So it probably has lots of errors. If you could help my edit , I'll be sure to look at your essays as well

It's often said that the smallest things can have the biggest impacts. However, I never knew how beneficial small events from history could have impacted my present and prospecting life. I rarely struggled to achieve a passing grade in history related courses, but I felt as if I were just going through the motions within history class. By going through the motions, I mean that I simply was doing the work given at hand and knowing enough to pass the test. Passing the class was acceptable for my transcripts, but history goes much farther than knowing what the Fifth Amendment is. Excluding essays, the typical work done in history was straight-forward and would typically ask for specific information covered in the chapter. These types of questions were informative and concise. The only problem with these questions was that they asked for little to no analysis.

Unlike history making a real world connection in my other classes such as mathematics, English, art, health, biology, and etc, was much easier. Another issue with making real world connections to history was my lackadaisical manner. At the time, I preferred less analysis and more straight forwardness. When it came to mathematics, I might not have been required to use the cosine laws on a daily basis. However, mathematics was used in my daily life whether it was using mental math to get an idea of how much change I should be receiving or which route would be faster to get home. Hence, I was easily able to view the importance. In regards to English class, stories and novels were typically straight-forward. I had difficulties with poems at first, but after reading a poem several times it could be comprehended. One benefit with poetry is that one simple line such as "the cool face of the river" can have several connotations and interpretations. Poetry was even easier to make real world connections considering that there were several poetic devices used such as similes, rhythm, and metaphors which are used by popular music artists today.

Up until my sophomore year of high school, history has been a course that I have struggled with. At first, I thought maybe it was my study habits. In middle school, I learned enough to pass the tests and class. However, after the summer passed, everything I learned regarding history seemed to be off on some distant island in my mind. So, I changed my study habits and took better notes in hopes I would remember the content better. Once high school arrived, I just always seem to get bored while reading pages upon pages about dead heroes and criminals. Initially, I couldn't ponder upon how someone who fought a war decades ago could affect me. Not being able to make a real-world connection, I just gave up on understanding history.

To my surprise, my dilemma was shortly solved when Black History Month arrived. During middle school, I had a basic understanding of black history month and what it represented to people affected by it. I knew of the figureheads during protest and movements like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Rose Park, and others. Other than, I didn't know much about black history. During the midst of Black History Month, my mathematics teacher gave my class a project I never expected him to give us. Being a mathematics class, I thought surely it might be a mathematic related project. Yet, the project asked us over the course of two weeks to interview an elderly person who lived during segregation times in order to understand their childhood experience. Then, compare their rights and childhood to my childhood. I learned several things about my neighbors past such as the value of money has changed, children have much more rights and freedoms than she ever had, and that nothing comes to you for free. Yet, there was one comment my neighbor made, "you can never move forward without understanding your history." This one statement changed my whole perspective towards history.

This one statement led me to ponder upon what she said for several hours. I came to realize that her words meant much more than just an answer that could apply to black history month, but words which could universally apply to history. Since then, I've always used that outlook towards history and life. When I began Local, State, and National Government class during my tenth grade year of high school, I learned about the laws which ruled our country and applied more directly to citizens. I realized learning just what my laws intended was important, but understanding the history behind things was more enlightening. When I learned of the cases which occurred prior to the creation of certain laws, a sense of appreciation grew within me. For example, when I consider the driving regulations in my state, it took previous cases and incidents for those laws to be passed. While it displeases some people to not be able to drive at an early age, it seems to be for the best in order to protect the common good of people.

Now when I hear about history, I'm a bit more eager than I previously was. I take the initiative to understand the past, presence, and future. These same thoughts now ravel from my mind as I can now make more connections to the real world. Now that I can understand the history of general appliances, countries, and people; my next problem comes with applying this to my future career. I plan to work as a biomedical engineer improving previously designed projects and devices. However, in this day and age technology is rapidly changing and improving. The history can be slightly be overwhelming when there's much to be researched about an ongoing topic, I can only hope that with enough research will come a bright future.

Scholarship / Leadership Experiences (to further develop my own skills) [5]

Discuss a leadership experience you have had in any area of your life - school, work, athletics, family, church, community, etc. How and why did you become leader in this area? How did this experience influence your goals?

(7800 characters maximum length)

I need some help here.I'm not sure was I talking too much, or too little in this essay. I really drew a blank on deciding where to elaborate .

People have often said that change is good, but change can come in countless forms. During my junior year of high school, I decided to take a chance with things and change a few things about myself and lifestyle. I still remained a diligent student, but I contemplated that maybe I should try some sort of new sport or weekend activity rather than the usual movies, playing video games, and hanging out with friends. Prior to that winter of my junior year, I played soccer for my high school. A few of my teammates were discussing their after-season plans. One teammate in particular suggested I try futsal, which is a form of soccer played indoors with five players on each side. At first, I was slightly skeptical the idea of playing soccer indoors seemed by far preposterous and silly. I was never the type of guy to simply try something based on opinions and impulse; so, I decided to do a Google search. To my surprise, there were several futsal organizations located through my state and the country. I even was able to view several videos of actual futsal matches, the idea intrigued me. I then decided to sign myself up with the same futsal organization my teammates mentioned.

Weeks later after signing up for futsal, I received an e-mail which listed the different teams and captains. I found my name along with four other teammates which I had never met, but then I noticed an odd symbol next to my name. I looked at the key at the bottom of the file, and surprisingly, I was nominated to be a captain. Initially, I was hesitant about the new position. I considered just simply giving the position away to another person. Before my junior year, I typically would follow the path of a follower rather than a leader choosing to just go with the flow of things or lay in the background without drawing much attention to myself. Yet, I thought this new position might prove be the type of change I was looking for.

The first day of futsal, all of the teams met for the first and the rules of futsal were explained. I met my teammates unaware of who was who or what their skill levels were. We introduced each other, but I knew since it would be most of the team's first time playing with each other there would be a lack of chemistry on the court. I decided for the first game, it would be best to try to let the team naturally fine-tune to each other's playing style. It worked well enough for the first game, but after the following games I could see there was room for improvement. With the new role as captain, I decided to take the initiative to bring the team together so we could become one cohesive unit. We all spoke casually about our past soccer experiences, high school experiences, and just daily life. These conversations would be the stepping stones to our success in the future.

Now, the part which counted the most was our playing quality on the field. In order to maintain team unity, I always made sure that team members spoke if they had any ideas or questions about plays, positions, and so forth. After the third game, another player who registered late was placed on our team at the last minute. While this wasn't completely devastating, the team's chemistry was thrown off. However, I took this opportunity to show our team that sometimes you can't control what's happening around you. Therefore, you just have to make the best of situations. The new player's skill level wasn't as advanced as rest of the team, but instead of letting him fall to the background. I worked with improving and explaining certain skill sets after the game. After several practices, the new player was as advanced and slightly even better than some of our other teammates. Our season continued with several challenging games, which led to our championship victory.

Through the experience, I learned the importance of respect and communication when leading others. Communication is the key which unlocks any ideas that might be waiting. I began with the objective of simply winning the indoor tournament, but came out with the objectives of being a good leader of a successful team and winning the indoor tournament. While I might have been a follower prior to this experience, this experience led me to notice some my own leadership skills. Now, when opportunities are given, I am glad to take the leadership role. My leadership experiences will allow me to further develop my own skills and carry out these abilities through the rest of my future career and soccer teams.

Scholarship / "I must collect my savings" - Short and long-term goals Essay [3]

Discuss your short and long-term goals. Are some of them related? Which are priorities?

I'm not sure if I answered the prompt correctly, or if my metaphor to a savings account was easily understandable.

Through remarkable men and woman's contributions, numerous medical discoveries have been made over the precedent decades at a swift rate. In 1981, a vaccine for hepatitis B was founded. One decade later, a vaccine for hepatitis A was founded. The following decade from the findings of the vaccine for hepatitis A, scientist discovered how to use human skin cells to create embryonic stem cells. Each decade, several life changing medical discoveries are found. Some of the newest discoveries on the verge of revolutionizing the medical world are gene therapy, improved imaging, and virtual inspection tools. As a long-term goal, I aspire to join or assist those bioengineering companies which, innovate previous medical device and promote excellent health.

Long-term and short term goals are intertwined and work similar to a savings account. Each short term goal is like a deposit for a long term investment. My short term goals begins with graduating high school within the top ten percent of my graduating class and being accepted to a college of my choice. Graduating is by far the priority of most of my goals, because without graduating with a high school diploma I cannot move farther towards my long-term goals. From there, my next deposit is made in the form of searching and applying for numerous scholarships in order to assist in reducing my college expenditures. Hopefully these scholarships will cover a hefty fraction of the college estimated cost. Once in college, I plan to make another deposit towards a master's degree which would allow me to research and assist in innovating medical devices. However, a piece of paper simply does not qualify someone for a career. Therefore, I'll need to make another deposit prior to getting a degree in order to be prepared. This can be done through participating in several internships related to my career and gaining knowledge about career related topics. Now that I've made several deposits and time has elapsed, I must collect my savings in hope my deposits have grown. While my deposits might not be directly correlated, each deposit brings me closer to my long term investment.

Scholarship / Why I want to major in Economics-- Providing aid to those in need [2]

This is for a local scholarship competition, I had to write about what major I was planning to pursue and why. The word limit was between 350 to 500 words. I'm pretty bad with essay, so be brutal.

Ever since 10th grade, I worked part-time as a business owner. I stuck with one of my favorite pastime hobbies, video editing; the idea of creating artwork through inimitable effects always fascinated me. Being a business owner wasn't all fun and games either, but I learned vital skills such as communication, time-management, and money management. I started my business with a slow, out-of-date computer from 1999 and Windows Movie Maker, generic video editing software. Optimizing just the slightest things made significant differences. Through an increase in clientele, I was able to increase productivity by buying software that would prove resourceful for video editing. I enjoyed the feeling of being in control of my company's net worth and knowing where its money was going. As my junior year was coming to a close, I began to ponder what major would be plausible to pursue. Then, it hit me! I enjoy understanding how my business's money circulates. Why not major in economics?

Economics like a business uses logic and analysis on a large scale for investments towards the future. Economics essentially was a major that consisted of understanding the "right choices" and the "wrong choices" towards everyday life. The right choices exemplified improvements that promoted a better life, while the wrong choice deterred people from their everyday life.

When deciding on the major, I had to consider what I could attain from a career in economics other than wealth. My main basis for video editing was to help those in need. In my case, I primarily helped high school athletes trying to play on the collegiate level by creating a highlight tape for coaches to view. For any athletic team, competition will always persist. Not every coach can travel miles to view every player's game. With my services coaches were able to observe the highlights of an athlete without having to physically travel across the country and players were able to display their skills faster.

I struggled to think of a transition for the last paragraph

In fact, when I began my business it held its share of dilemmas like most newly started businesses. Initially, I didn't know exactly what to use my profits towards. Preceding financial guidance would have proved beneficial in order to optimize my services. Even on a larger scale financial guidance can attest to its own value, such as during the U.S recession of 2008. Some stockholders were not as educated and financially informed about their investments. Therefore, when some investments took a turn for the worse, their assets ultimately fell alongside. Had there been someone to say, their investments were inadequate and should be recycled. They might not have lost their kids, house, car, or other possessions. Financial guidance in some cases is the tipping point between having a place to go home to and living homeless. With economics I can search the seas; ideally economics will provide me with the skills to foresee future wreckage.