Writing Feedback / IELTS: Government should contol Violent Movies and TV programs? [3]

There is more and more violence in movies and on TV, therefore it is necessary for the government to control the amount of it to decrease the violent crimes in the society. Do you agree of disagree?

With the development of multimedia entertainment in recent decades, there has been a growing tendency that assaultive behaviours are constantly presented in the films and TV series. Therefore, most people start to believe that the relevant authorities should administer its rise. Actually, this is correct in many real life situations. 50

Admittedly, violent TV programs bring some benefits to the society. Firstly, it could entertain the individuals who have had an eventful day at workplace. This is because a series of the aggressive TV episodes are exciting and stimulating which would be beneficial for the daily commuters to refresh their mind and release the work-related stress. Secondly, due to the popularity of action movies, every year a huge amount of tax paid from the film producers would become one of significant contributions to government's tax revenue. Under this circumstance, the money could be used to aid other citizens in the community who need an urgent support. 105

However, disseminating the massive unrestricted violent contents on the screen pose a number of negative influences. For the younger generation, it would destruct their mental developments. Unlike the adults, minors are often curious and keen to imitate the violent behaviours which have been sighted from TV programs, possibly because they are mentally immature and incapable of distinguishing the right and wrong. For adults who lack of self-control abilities, an excessive broadcast of the violent action-movies could act as their references to engage with potential criminal activities. The reason for this is that they are able to acquire the essential skills and experience for committing crimes. 105

In conclusion, even though frantic movies or TV programs have some advantages, it is convincing that providing the action movies to the public without restrictions would cause the mental illness of young children and substantial potential convictions. 37 / 297

N.B.: I am a English grammar disable. This could confine my final band score in the exam. Thank you everyone who could help me to tackle my grammar problems.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: early retirement for 55+ employees to help younger people [7]

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the discussion about whether the businesses are supposed to prescribe the retirement age at fifty-five to offer more job vacancies for younger generation has become a controversy. Some believe that is a perfect attempt to support the young, others claim that this is not the case. 47

Admittedly, encouraging the workers to retire at age of fifty-five to release the positions for younger job seekers has some merits. Firstly, fresh graduates are likely to bring a number of practical and applicable ideas to meet the current needs of the organisation. This is because they have been instilled and imparted the most updated knowledge and skills at universities. Secondly, having a larger proportion of young adults could enhance the working effectiveness and efficiency. Compared with aged staffs, younger employees are often physically stronger and energetic which enables them to carry out heavy workload to meet the deadline. 99

However, sacrificing the senior members to save the young workers poses several negative influences. From personal level, it fosters a sense of unfairness between the older and younger generations. It is undeniable that every person within the business enterprise has the rights to proceed their work as long as they are capable of doing it, disregard the age and physical capacity. From social perspective, massively forcing the early retirement would be one of financial burden to the local government. For example, sufficient pension payments and regular medical care should be given and arranged for the senior citizens after they have been imposed to terminate their employment permanently. 109

In conclusion, even though the introduction of the early retirement has some benefits, it is convincing that it would generate a sense of discrimination among different age groups and increase the government financial pressure accordingly. 35 / 289

Writing Feedback / IELTS Question: Freedom of Creative Artists: restriction or not? [9]

Creative artists should be given freedom to express their ideas (words, pictures, music or films). However, some people think government should restrict them sometimes. Discuss the both view and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the discussion about the authority of innovative artists has become a controversy. While some individuals believe that government ought to prohibit some of the unconventional artistic works to be publicised, others claim that they are supposed to entitle the rights to present their thoughts in the ways they prefer. 50

Admittedly, creative movies which contain frantic and erotic images need to be restricted for its publicity. Firstly, it could destruct minors' mental developments. Unlike the adults, children are often curious and keen to imitate the behaviours which have been sighted from TV programs, possibly because they are mentally immature and incapable of distinguishing the true meanings. Secondly, freeing artists' creation could arouse the misleading in the society. For example,singular artists are likely to use the subjective and critical languages and symbols when they turn a historical event into a documentary to achieve their reputation and economic profits. 98

However, promoting creative artists to convey their opinions has plenty of merits. From the national level, paintings could be one of the most meaningful objects which represents a nation's identity and its culture in many international communication. Thus, in order to prevent a country becoming less known and assimilated, encouraging the innovation of the unconventional art works would be a necessity. From the individual level, vogue art works could satisfy people's spiritual enjoyment. For instance, a stylish sculptures can be used as a decorations, which could be wonderful for creating a comfortable and relaxing living and office environment. 100

In conclusion, even though innovative arts bring some negative influences, it is convincing that they are one of indispensable parts of national identity and citizen's spiritual enjoyment. 27 / 275

P.S. I am the one always find that topics about art, history, culture, language and tourism industry are difficult to come up with substantial ideas!

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Financial success enables individuals to acquire a comfortable and relaxing life [7]

1. Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the incredible economic growth has significantly improved people's living standards in recent decades, some start to believe that a happy life is mainly base on a solid economic foundation. However, others claim that other factors should also be taken into account. 42

It is accepted that financial success enables individuals to acquire a comfortable and relaxing life, in which a sense of joyful enormously enhanced. When bearing a heavy financial pressure, people rarely have the ability to develop their own interest. In contrast, wealthy ones have a freedom to do what they preferred as money is no longer a top issue. In addition, the possession of economic wealth elevates a person's cheerful feeling, as it is an essential part of self-fulfilment. The huge amount of fortune is not only recognition of an individual's hardworking but also a reward for their great talents and strong will. 103

However, happiness is constituted by other non-monetary related components. Firstly, a health body is a prerequisite to achieve a enjoyable life. If some people were unwell in bed for years, they could neither appreciate scenic views around the world nor taste delicious food of nations. In this case, these individuals are unlikely to become the happy ones. Secondly, a harmonious and close relationship with friends and families makes contribution to happiness. This is because that support and care from their beloved ones enable them to dispel negative feelings and have a positive attitude towards future life. 96

In conclusion, it is convincing financial strength can be regarded as a factor to achieve a happy life. However, other elements such as physical well-being and family affection should also be indispensable supplements. 33 / 274

Writing Feedback / IELTS Topic: Same job for a same company VS change job frequently [4]

Some people prefer the same job for a same company, but others like to change jobs frequently. Discuss the both side and give your own preference.

With the economic growth in recent years, while some employees intend to commit the same position in one organisation for a long time, others are keen to explore their possibilities in different enterprises. Generally speaking, the latter practice is more desirable than the former one in the modern society. 49

It is accepted that individuals who committing an unchanged job for a relatively long period of time gain some benefits. One is that it increases their chances of international promotion. Unlike job-hoppers, loyal employees are usually deemed as the highly skilled and experienced human talent because of their comprehensive understanding of their businesses' operations and administrations. Secondly, staff could obtain a sense of security through a long term service. The reason for this is that they are likely to receive the priority when comes to salary package review and employment contract renewal. 92

However, there are arguments in favour of changing job regularly. Firstly, job-hopping maximises a higher remuneration possibility and brings a more promising career prospect. Sports professionals, for instance, frequently transfer the clubs they are playing for is an ideal strategy to obtain more opportunities to present in a number of international and well-known competitions. Moreover, if the jobs the candidates are engaging with currently suits neither their personality nor skills or qualification they hold, trying other types of opportunities is a preferred change. As a result, the circumstance destructs their mental soundness and their potentials in other areas. 98

In conclusion, it is convincing that non job-hoppers enjoy some benefits from long term employment. However, the merits of changing job regularly could be beneficial for employees to maintain a positive career orientation and health well-being.

36 / 275

Writing Feedback / IELTS Topic:Environmental issues"international Cooperation vs National participation" [7]

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual people to address. We have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at en international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the discussion about the protection of nature environment has become a controversy. Therefore, some start to believe that the residents and authorities at national level are unable to tackle the environmental trouble, whereas the perfect approach is the international collaboration. Generally speaking, this is not the case. 50

It is recognised that the international cooperation is a preferred option under some circumstances. Firstly, it is able to settle those complicate environmental issues such as climate change. Kyoto Protocol Agreement, for example, establishes a standard internationally to require different countries to reduce their greenhouse emissions. In this case, a single nation's effort is much less significant than a group contribution. Secondly, the international alignment has the financial advantage to develop advanced technologies to address the environmental matters. This is because most of those exploitation are long term developments which increase the financial pressure for a country itself. 98

However, it is undeniable that the participations of individuals and local government are indispensable. According to the distinct environmental conditions in different regions, those particular governmental policies are more practicable than the international synergy. For intense, China, a country with huge population, supermarkets are imposed to place a charge of using plastic shopping bags in order to lower the white pollution nationally. Moreover, citizen's involvements are always valuable and considerable in their society. Those practices such as applying recyclable cutlery instead of disposal ones in a family event and purchasing an environmental-friendly vehicle for travel are significantly alleviate the resource shortage and air pollution. 104

In conclusion, it is convincing that the international consociation is useful in some situations. However, countries are usually not alike where the contributions at national level cannot overlooked. 28 / 280

Writing Feedback / IELTS Topic: Urban Sprawl: (causes and prediction) [3]

Some findings have revealed that cities around the world are growing large. Could you outline the possible causes and predict consequences?

In recent years, there has been a growing tendency that the urban sprawl is a common phenomenon in many countries. Therefore, it is essential to evaluate the forces behind this trend and its consequences. 34

To begin with, population growth is widely accepted as the primary reason. Nowadays the space in the city centre is unlikely to provide sufficient housing availability to accommodate an ever-growing population. Besides, in order to offer lower-density living environment to local city residents, an ongoing land development towards surrounding suburbs is deemed as an preferential solution. Moreover, another problem that has intensified in the inner city is infrastructure shortage and poor conditions of buildings. Lack of amenities such as water supply and waste disposal have left no choice to urban dwellers but to resettle in the suburbs, where they have easier access to new facilities. 104

However, the sustained expansion of cities will make a marked impact on the society in several dimensions. Firstly, a high traffic volume between outer city and downtown causes severe air pollution and reduce the lands suitable for farming. Also, the enlargement of cities requires massive developments which make some areas to lose its unique qualities and traditional characteristics. Secondly, from the economic perspective, the relocation of a large population towards suburbs will pose adverse fiscal impact on the local government's infrastructure overhead. Furthermore, from the individual aspect, for those who are usually reside in suburbs, the inflow of new inhabitants will damage the community sport and make relations between neighbours fragile. 109

In conclusion, urban sprawl is a trend which exerts several negative effects. Therefore, the government should organise detail planning and sustainable development to minimise its demerits. 26 / 273

Writing Feedback / IELTS topic: Your view of "Pen and Paper" Examination [7]

Many people believe that formal "pen and paper" examinations are not the best method of assessing educational achievement. What is your view of examinations?

Examinations are one of the most common methods of measuring learning in education systems throughout the world. At virtually every stage of the learning process, exams are used to verify that the learner is ready to move on to the next stage. However, many believe that the role of examinations should be reconsidered. 53

There are clearly advantages to exams. They help to ensure fairness by imposing the same conditions on all exam candidates. They are also relatively versatile; different types of exam questions, for example, multiple-choice questions and essay tasks, can test different sorts of reasoning ability. However, exams also have some drawbacks. Test-wise candidates can often perform well on exams without having good underlying knowledge or skills. In contrast, some test-takers perform cannot achieve a satisfying result because of anxiety. In this case, teachers and learners focus only on theses aspects of the curriculum that are likely to be tested, thus narrowing the educational experience for all. 105

A number of measures should be taken to address these concerns. Wherever possible, exams should match the content and activities of the learning environment. Exam task should be varied to give fair opportunities to candidates with different types of skills. Other types of assessment should also be considered, assignment writing, for example, to assess independent learning and research skills, or group projects, to measure teamwork ability. 66

In conclusion, it is convincing that exams have a role to play in ensuring proper and objective assessment of achievement. However, exams need to be carefully designed and supplemented with other forms of evaluation if they are to be a truly useful component of the education system. 47 / 271

Writing Feedback / IELTS Topic: Female Juvenile delinquency [3]

Some reports have discovered the crimes committed by young women is increasing. Give possible reasons and recommendations to the situation.

In recent years, there has been a growing tendency that female juvenile delinquency is becoming a common social phenomenon in many countries. Therefore, it is necessary to identify the forces behind this trend and provide the feasible solutions to alleviate its rise. 42

To begin with, the first reason is that the younger women are usually sensitive to the trifles and sentimental to the loves. In this case, the sensitivity could lead to the formation of extreme ideas and the willingness of conducting the wrongdoings. Besides, the female minors' natural frangibility makes them intend to commit themselves to a series of aggressive behaviour when they have established well founded fears. Second possible force is that the gender inequity in the competitive labour market where women are often confronted with a number of severe competitions. As a result, an illegal conduct may seem as an approach which enables them to make their livings. 109

However, there are several workable solutions to tackle this regretful situation. From government perspective, relevant authorities should provide low-cost and no fee programs for young female individuals. Counselling service, for example, should be available for those who suffer emotional destructions. This facility helps them to dispel negative feelings and have a positive attitude towards future life. Occupational training as another example, helps young women to enhances their employability in today's labour market. Moreover, from personal level, the female juniors are supposed to accelerate their adaptability to the actual social atmosphere. It is suggested that they should be proactively involved in diversified social activities and interaction with others to gain a clear view of reality. 114

In conclusion, it is convincing that both the government and women themselves ought to cooperate to curb the ever-increasing the female juvenile delinquency in a long run. 23 / 292

Writing Feedback / IELTS Topic: Pay a fee when drivers enter to city centre [3]

In some large cities, people have to pay a fee when they drive their cars into the city centre, in a policy to reduce the number of cars in the city. Give reasons in support of and opposing this policy, and give your own opinion.

In recent years, the excessive traffic load is becoming a common phenomenon in many countries, some urban planers believe that a charge on the road could be a feasible solution to tackle this problem, while others claim that it triggers some demerits. Actually, it is convincing that the advantages of having this scheme outweigh the disadvantages. 56

It is accepted that implementing congestion pricing system for drivers who travel into the CBD exerts some negative influences. Firstly, local residents are encouraged to visit shops, restaurants and entertainment facilities out of town and gradually lead to a downturn of the inner cities. Secondly, this policy is also triggers potential crimes relating to ticket evasion. For example, if a surcharge is enforced both when entering and leaving the city, drivers may risk forging car plates or even registration to avoid this extra cost. 84

However, it is widely recognised that imposing the congestion charge has a plenty of merits. From environmental aspect, it could alleviate excessive exhaust emission of vehicles and air pollution. This is because the implementation of charge encourages a less amount of cars on the road, which further weakens the road density and makes downtown more fresh and clean. From the financial perspective, the congestion toll enables local government to invest and develop a more sound public transportation system. It is also an ideal way to help companies who tend to reduce the usage of cars to save their carbon tax expenditure. 101

In conclusion, it is undeniable that congestion charge has some drawbacks. However, the merits of having such system overtake it demerits. 21 / 262