samenmohammad
Jul 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS- encourage sense of competition or co-operative in children [2]
Please help me and give me any comments and suggestions
Task:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught
to co-operative rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the modern word, the way children build up their characters is very important. If they educate well then we will have a
good society and if not, many problems will be occurred. One of these educations for children is the sense of competition.
In this piece of writing, I would like to express my personal views about whether children should encourage to compete and
is it better that we encourage them to work together rather to compete with each other.
There are reasons which prove that competition is useful for children. Firstly, reaching to many things in our life needs
to compete with other people. Then, children should learn it and if they couldn't compete with others, they eill not be
succeed in their future. Secondly, without a real competition, we couldn't understand which children is better. This means
that we should see them in the same level. Thus, nobody could find that which children could be better in specific areas,
such as education. Finally, competition encourages children to work harder and try more for their future.
However, competition has some negative effects when it compare to co-operative works. The major reason is that competition
can have a negative effect on some children. It destroys their sprite and then departs them from community. Moreover, it
can affect children relationship with their peers. Team work, on the other hand, can give them a sense of sharing and
promote ethical values.
Personally I think that although competition has some negative effects, but it is necessary for living and people should
encourage their children to be the best in their positions. Besides, co-operative works help children to share their ideas
with their friends and it is also constructive and should be considered by parents.
Please help me and give me any comments and suggestions
Task:
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught
to co-operative rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In the modern word, the way children build up their characters is very important. If they educate well then we will have a
good society and if not, many problems will be occurred. One of these educations for children is the sense of competition.
In this piece of writing, I would like to express my personal views about whether children should encourage to compete and
is it better that we encourage them to work together rather to compete with each other.
There are reasons which prove that competition is useful for children. Firstly, reaching to many things in our life needs
to compete with other people. Then, children should learn it and if they couldn't compete with others, they eill not be
succeed in their future. Secondly, without a real competition, we couldn't understand which children is better. This means
that we should see them in the same level. Thus, nobody could find that which children could be better in specific areas,
such as education. Finally, competition encourages children to work harder and try more for their future.
However, competition has some negative effects when it compare to co-operative works. The major reason is that competition
can have a negative effect on some children. It destroys their sprite and then departs them from community. Moreover, it
can affect children relationship with their peers. Team work, on the other hand, can give them a sense of sharing and
promote ethical values.
Personally I think that although competition has some negative effects, but it is necessary for living and people should
encourage their children to be the best in their positions. Besides, co-operative works help children to share their ideas
with their friends and it is also constructive and should be considered by parents.