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Posts by sarthakjain
Joined: Dec 1, 2012		 Last Post: Dec 26, 2013
Threads: 19
Posts: 58  
From: India

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sarthakjain   
Dec 1, 2012
Undergraduate / Hi! My future amigo; Stanford Roommate essay [4]

Here's the question in stanford supplement . please tell me how is it. be brute in your replies if you want.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Hi! My future amigo
This is Sarthak, your roommate. So if you are searching for your room, don't worry. Just enter the one with that pesky smell, emanating with my brand new recipe I conjured up that day. You would probably be highly delighted or irritated with my love for food, especially exotic never tasted before food. Though I like to share, but my inner self feels you won't like the taste of what I have to offer.

So the next thing you will see is a room strewn with books, both academic and fiction - latter more than former. I like Austen, Bronte and Rowling and many others, and I like to study. Studying is my passion, so sometimes (and It is a request) you have to drag me out of room for a hangout. And mind you, I will make you study too if you don't take your courses seriously. But aside from that caveat, I am genuinely a helpful person. You can bash me up at 2 in the morning if you need any help, either to have a quick late night snack or complete an early morning due assignment ( though let me tell you one thing - the next thing I love after food is sleep). We Indians surely like to help people in any way we can. And if we ever disagree on any issue, please remember that I believe in compromise and I expect the same from you.

So as we are resting after a great orientation programme and trying to decide our future course, one thing you may find interesting is my continuous stream of questions about you. See I am a kind of person who loves learning about new cultures and new people. And if you know any other language other than English, please teach me that. And in return, I assure you that in span of 4 years, you will a master of Hindi, my beloved native language. And lastly, I want to let you know that I am an eco - freak that is, I like to save trees, save energy and save environment in ways that will sometimes appear to be over the top. So please help me in my drive for eco-friendly living space. I look forward to knowing about you and your passions too. Till then ...

With love
Sarthak Jain
sarthakjain   
Dec 2, 2012
Undergraduate / Hi! My future amigo; Stanford Roommate essay [4]

thank you for your feedback ! I appreciate it and make the necessary changes . But the link you provided for review is not working , showing "thread is blocked".
sarthakjain   
Dec 2, 2012
Undergraduate / My Ventures Into The New Lands - harvard supplemental [8]

prompt is : write about anything you want tell us more about .

My Ventures Into The New Lands
Though the title may appear something of an Arabian Nights adventure memoir, it really serves to detail what my inner self felt travelling through the various parts of Europe two summers back. From the time I gained the ability to take my personal decisions, travelling has been a major part of them. Meeting new people, becoming a part of new culture and of course, the taste of exotic cuisines act as an aphrodisiac for me. So catering to my travelling "need", during my sophomore high school year, I won a trip to some of the European countries as a part of a history competition organized by Directorate of Education. The day I still remember, it was the first rain of the season when I boarded the airplane (for the first time). After a tiresome journey of 8 hours, finally we landed on the soils of Rome, the harbor of many great leaders. The 30 minute ride from the airport to hotel was a journey through 300 years of history. As we passed by the Colosseum and Roman Forum, we could feel the presence of gladiators and orators in the atmosphere. The next day brought us before the famous Trevi fountain (where I threw in a penny to wish for a great university admission, which I hope to get fulfilled) and an inner view of the city itself as we traveled on foot from one place to other. Another great adventure of that day was visiting the Vatican City. The aura of St.Peter's Church left me with awe and a crooked neck, from staring at Michelangelo's Art for approximately an hour. With a craving for more, we left the town following day and headed for the Paris. The city of lights and the home of croissants offered a stark contrast to the ancient ruins of Rome and came as a moment for rejuvenation. Our first destination was undoubtedly the Eiffel tower. From the ground we were mesmerized by its size, from the top by the view of the night time city. Here we got a chance to interact with local people and learn about their culture. Paris represents a cosmopolitan environment with a fine blend of ethnicity with modernism, like the blend of its mouthwatering cuisine. Its people are quite welcoming but at the same time take pride in their city, without letting anyone tarnish it (one of my friends got a good piece of "advice" by a local on throwing an empty wafers packet in open). Next day we headed for Louvre museum - the true venture into renaissance history. For me, witnessing Leonardo's work with my own eyes was a dream come true. A friendly French museum curator guided us through that, telling us great stories behind each piece of art and teaching us some French too. Finally, our time in Paris ended and we boarded the aircraft for London. As we had only a day in London we didn't get much to see but a lot to interact. Our prime purpose in London was to gain understanding of new culture and ethnicity, along with some visits to historical places like Tower of London. We interacted with Local students at a high school, spend some time in local marketplaces and visited a local concert. People were quite open in their reception and made us feel at home. But the time flew by and the day came when we left from the Heathrow airport and stepped back on soils of Delhi with memories for life. Interestingly, it was raining that day again.
sarthakjain   
Dec 3, 2012
Undergraduate / I am one of the twin sisters; making friends is merely sociable with others superficially [3]

you have some grammatical errors :
"each other become his or her main partner" should be "they become others main partner".
"As I grow older, I gradually realize that my sister and I have to separate from each other and pursue our own ideal." should be "As i grew older, I gradually realized that my sister and I have to separate from each other and pursue our own ideal" .

otherwise the essay is okay to go. hope the critique helped.
sarthakjain   
Dec 3, 2012
Undergraduate / I envision myself to be a one of the cornellians ; cocornell engineering essay [9]

prompt : Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and interests may be realized by - and linked to - specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish.

Please evaluate this essay and give your opinion . be as harsh as you want.

Transforming Ideas Into Reality
The cracking noise of welding arc, flying sparks and dripping iron from soldering equipment - that was how my first physics class really looked like. The first words of my teacher were - Newton's laws are not for cramming guys, nor are Maxwell's equations. Look at the clothes you are wearing, the fans keeping you cool or the desks you are sitting on. All of these wouldn't be possible without science and people who dreamt to use it. That was the day I first encountered engineering in its true sense. Each passing day brought me closer to machines - I started to figure out how my computer works, what makes my fan revolve and how the bulb gives light. Making and breaking acted as aphrodisiac for me. My imagination knew no bounds, conceiving objects of science fiction and giving them a realistic shape.

Now fast forwarding to my junior year, I approached my Computer Science teacher with an idea about the applications of neural networks in medical sciences. The idea he thought was worth pursuing so he directed me to apply for research at Department of Computer Science, Delhi University and under the able guidance of people there, I was able to successfully complete the project. Working in an academic setting enabled me to experience the dedication required towards research at the university level and prepare me for my future courses in computer science and in general, engineering.

Considering my passions, Cornell would be the best place for me to pursue engineering. The Department of Computer Science have a distinctive program to offer to undergraduates. One of key things that distinguish Cornell is the large variety of courses it offers to undergrads based on their individual abilities, such as the choices we get in our first CS course. It allows us to take more courses in our field of interest with an appropriate number of liberal studies courses. Another point of interest for me is the ability to double major in computational biology which look forward too, in relation to the project I conceived earlier. Also the co-ops program will help me to get exposure to industry, thereby setting up path for a successful career. And the most important aspect of Cornell that drove me to visualize myself in Ithaca is the ability to engage in independent research with faculty members. The encouragement given to research, even in freshman and sophomore year is encountered at only a handful of universities. Especially the Intelligent Information System Institute and Centre for Advanced Computing captures my imagination for conducting research.

The specialization following this would be of prime importance to me in my career ahead. Whether it would be grad school or a job in a prestigious firm, it will help me to use my strengths and experiences for achieving success in all my endeavors. Using education provided at Cornell, I hope to play my part in creating a technologically developed world with objects present only in pages of Jules Verne's novels. I envision myself to be a one of the cornellians and firmly believe Cornell to be the perfect destination for me to give way to all my passions.
sarthakjain   
Dec 5, 2012
Undergraduate / The walk. Common app essay - I had a nightmare [9]

good piece of writing . but it needs some tweaks with sentence structure. for example :
you use of because is repetitive. try to vary the structure by using due to , etc.
overall the essay quality is really good is you are applying to ivy leagues.
sarthakjain   
Dec 6, 2012
Undergraduate / My Ventures Into The New Lands - harvard supplemental [8]

I have made some changes in my essay , cut down descriptions of monuments and added some anecdotes and experiences . but I am afraid it appears a little cliche . please evaluate this new one and also tell if i should go with the old one or the new one or something completely different. I would also like to submit this for yale . it is yale quality ?

prompt for harvard : write about anything you want tell us more about .
prompt for yale : In this second essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application-or on something that you would like to say more about. We ask that you limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.

My Ventures Into The New Lands
Though the title may appear something of an Arabian Nights adventure memoir, it really serves to detail what my inner self felt travelling through the various parts of Europe two summers back. From the time I gained the ability to take my personal decisions, travelling has been a major part of them. Meeting new people, becoming a part of new culture and of course, the taste of exotic cuisines act as an aphrodisiac for me. So catering to my travelling "need", during my sophomore high school year, I won a trip to some of the European countries as a part of a history competition organized by Directorate of Education.

The day I still remember, it was the first rain of the season when I boarded the airplane for the first time. After a tiresome journey of eight hours, finally we landed on the soils of Rome, the harbor of many great leaders. The 30 minute ride from the airport to hotel was a journey through 3000 years of Roman history. As we passed by the Colosseum and Roman Forum, we could feel the presence of gladiators and orators in the atmosphere. The next day brought us before the famous Trevi fountain where I threw in a penny to wish for a great university admission (which I hope to get fulfilled) and an inner view of the city itself. The city is far more than a historical site. It is a site of vibrant culture similar, yet subtly different from India. People here were more inclined towards remaining calm and composed, while agitation was common over petty issues in Delhi. The life was without rush, soothing the minds of travelers like myself. That was the main takeaway for me - the importance of silence in life. Relaxed with our thoughts, we left the town following day and headed for the Paris.

The city of lights and the home of croissants offered a stark contrast to the ancient ruins of Rome and was a site of endless activity. Our first destination was undoubtedly the Eiffel tower. From the ground we were mesmerized by its size, from the top by the view of the night time city. Here we got a chance to interact with local people and learn about their culture. Paris represents a cosmopolitan environment with a fine blend of ethnicity with modernism, just like the blend of its mouthwatering cuisine. Its people are quite welcoming but at the same time take pride in their city, without letting anyone tarnish it .One of my friends got a good piece of "advice" by a local on throwing an empty wafers packet in open. The city was filled with people who admired life and its beauty. Here, they take an optimistic look towards challenges and turn them into an ally, which I learned from this 50 year old widow we happened to meet at Louvre museum. She had to work for 16 hours a day at the museum to support her three daughters, carrying stuff around but was livelier than a 14 year old adolescent. When I asked about her optimism, the only answer I got was "Here in Paris, challenges are not considered a punishment, but an opportunity given to learn more and come out as a better being." This I will never forget.

Witnessing two widely different cultures left an indelible impression on my mind. It helped me grow, it helped me learn. Winning that competition wasn't just a successful endeavor, but a life changing experience for me. With sweet memories and a fresh look at life, I boarded the flight back to Delhi .Interestingly, it was raining again when we landed back to our home.
sarthakjain   
Dec 8, 2012
Undergraduate / "Home Is Where the Grillpocalypse Is" ; why Uchicago essay [2]

Question 1. How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to UChicago.

Respond to Question 1 by writing a paragraph or two for each question.

this is first draft. please review this. should I be more specific about uchicago ? any help will be appreciated.

"Home Is Where the Grillpocalypse Is" - the title of the mail stood out in my inbox a month ago. It struck that hidden cord of desire in my heart which immediately told me "I want to be at this place." I am a person of simple tastes, indulge in simple activities and lead a simple life. I don't need extreme sophistication at cost of losing the enjoyment and admiration for life. So reading the brochure from UChicago, Everything from the supplemental essay questions to the description of the Housing system oozes creativity and difference, the qualities I strive for.

But behind this candidness lies rigor of an excellent academic experience, which challenges the conventional and let people like me to engage in research in company of brilliant scholars. With a low student to faculty ratio, I feel assured of receiving help each time I would need it. "Core" will sensitize my being towards the problems of modern society while the major will give me perfection in my field of study - "computer science". I envision myself to be a part of Argonne National Laboratory or Computation Institute, working alongside Professor Yali Amit on his machine learning projects or holding events at CS Student Activities Committee. UChicago will provide me with a firm foundation in mechanics of Computer science and how I can levitate it for my career ahead - be it grad school or job in a firm.

Not only do academics, but campus life also matters. With so many options to choose from, the Housing System makes me crave for UChicago. Nowhere else could I find a more vibrant and dynamic living community, with strong ties inside a house and hundreds of strands of activities that bind them together. Staying 7485 miles away from home for four years, which you haven't left for more than four weeks requires strong commitments and an assurance of acceptance into a completely new culture. At University of Chicago, I firmly believe I will find that and much more - making it a perfect place to call my home.
sarthakjain   
Dec 12, 2012
Undergraduate / I want to matriculate at Yale: Engineering Essay! [2]

your descriptive language is good, but the problem is you need to be more specific about why you want to pursue engineering at yale. starting 4th para, I didn't feel any passion and it appeared a little mundane. Try improving upon the sentence structure in that last para. that's my opinion anyway.
sarthakjain   
Dec 12, 2012
Undergraduate / I chose to destroy my best friend's life - ethical dilemma [4]

prompt : Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

hey, all people out there. here is my common app essay. please review this and tell me if it captures your interest or does it appear like another applicant cribbing about his life. also , please give me cliche "alerts". i really need them. any help will be appreciated.

What I shouldn't have done or should have?
It seems like a fire, burning away my insides in a raging inferno of emotions. Although the memory of that incident is two years old, yet it is as alive as I am. It still rings in my ears as clear as my own voice, runs on my skin as lively as electricity. Each detail flashes past my eyes in crystal clear view. A decision was taken that day, one that I still question. It was the beginning of junior year. After an adventurous summer, I was ready for school. I was excited - firstly, we were going to study the subjects we wanted exclusively and secondly, I was elected as President of Student Council for the year. I knew the latter position would be challenging, demanding and I would have to endure many turbulences. I had responsibilities to take care of but as such the first month passed on uneventful. But I wasn't ready for what was to come. I was to face a moral dilemma - one that involved my best friend and my most beloved teacher.

It all happened in September, just after the completion of our midyear examinations. My friend scored quite low, much below what he expected. Going through his answer sheets, he found some irregularities in checking, some which could have made him score better had they not been there. So in a fit of anger, he approached the teacher, who happens to be my favorite one, and abused her using extremely strong words. The anger could have made him go physical, had I and some of the other students not interfered. He was put in detention for some time, the time when I was also caged - inside a prison made out of responsibility towards my position, friendship towards my friend and respect towards my teacher. Our school policy required decision for suspending a student be made in a joint session with veto power given to three people - the principal, the head counselor and the student president. The session had many debates - discussing extent of his misconduct, and the other two veto votes negated each other. So it all boiled down to me. I had the power to save or destroy my friend's life and I was perplexed. It made me dizzy. That was the day I truly realized what being a leader means.

I had to take a difficult decision. I had to choose between what was right and what was right thing to do. I chose the right thing. I chose to destroy my best friend's life. I chose my responsibility, I chose my teacher and I was broke to do that. But I didn't regret, for I knew if I hadn't taken that decision, I would have done injustice to my teacher. Yes, he too had done fault but he didn't deserve what he got. The matter could have been solved in a calm manner, yet my friend chose to do it in an offensive way. I could have saved him from the defamation he received, but it would have eaten on my conscience more that it does now. It may not be a great ethical dilemma for many, but for me it had been a life altering lesson. It had taught me that leading is not an easy task, the person who leads is the one who had to endure the greatest perils. He had to make decisions, ones which may make him a villain for some but which are beneficial for whole community. With power comes great responsibility - I have heard that quote a lot but this incident made me understand its true meaning. Each night before I go to sleep, I ask myself one question: Was there any better way to deal with that situation? Till now, the answer is no.
sarthakjain   
Dec 15, 2012
Undergraduate / Exodus to epiphany - Common App Essay! [17]

you mostly describe the situation and less of the impact. though I get a good picture of what you witnessed, but only a little about your personality. Also , try to improve

upon your ending, making it more personal and eye-catching. also I like the line :

I believe that I owe the 20,000 Egyptians I saw that day, if only for the fact that I was able to fly to their homeland in comfort while they could not.

sarthakjain   
Dec 15, 2012
Undergraduate / MIT essays - community/pleasure/department/personal quality [5]

Please review my MIT essays about the style, grammar and overall quality of them. any help will be appreciated

prompt1: please tell us more about your cultural background and identity ( 100 word max)
I am a human first, an Indian second. Our generation is the one that combines both ethics and modernism, through which we can easily grasp onto new cultures. We are called rebels by our grandparents and open minded by our parents. But one thing that significantly affect our lives is the presence of humility and respect for fellow beings in all our acts. We are part of "Hinglish"(Hindi+English) generation, growing in a place where internet cafes are built besides temples. And both of them are equally important in shaping our lives.

prompt2: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

The aroma of fresh air in morning, the feel of grass on bare legs, the chirping of waking birds gives me the pleasure nothing else can. I like to be among nature's bounties, so my day never starts without a run in a garden, nor it ends without an evening in park. It allows me to organize my thoughts for the coming day, free my mind from negativity and give me a fresh perspective on everyday problems. And as a bonus, it gives a chance to meet new people, make friends(maybe meet my love) and together enjoy the beauty of nature.

prompt3: which department or program at mit appeals to you and why ?
When I first coded in Visual Basic in my 8th standard, the adrenaline rush I felt on seeing in emit shades of yellow and green immediately told me where my allegiance lay - Computer science. With each passing year, the feel only strengthened. The senior year brought me in contact with field of Artificial Intelligence, which makes me crave to build those sci-fi technologies. And what better place to realize this than MIT's Electrical Engineering And computer Science Department where Professors work with dreamers like me to give our imagination a concrete shape.

prompt4: What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

After winning a National Competition once, a small boy of 7 asked me simple question "How did you win this competition?" And my answer was "I was stubborn to win it". Yes, that what I am proud of myself - my determination to reach my goals. Now some may find it obnoxious, but in reality adhering to your goals is key to success in my opinion. But it doesn't mean sacrificing all your values, as Gandhi once said "a successful person is one who reaches his goal, taking all his fellows along."

So, it was the time of January, when I had to decide which subjects to undertake for further studies in my high school. A lot of suggestions came in, persuading me to explore the "glamour" of business and commerce. As my family belongs to a business background, it would have been lot easier to give in but I was determined to study science, for it was my passion. Had I become weaker that time, I am pretty sure that I wouldn't be as happy and lively as I feel now, playing with different formula and working in labs.

Impactful it surely is. A plethora of tasks wouldn't have been possible for me to undertake, had I not had the determination to do them. Some of them include winning that National Competition or babysitting my 8 month old cousin. But a clear focus and iron like determination makes me overcome any obstacle and achieve what I set out to.
sarthakjain   
Dec 16, 2012
Undergraduate / We create our own story,and they decorate the entire human history/ ROCHESTER CApp [6]

i like your comparison of area of triangle with social differences, but i suggest you that you can cut on some parts of description of integral method of finding areas, and include more of comparison. also try to restructure your sentences. The essay looks a bit haphazard right now . also the transition from first to second para is a little abrupt. Overall a fantastic idea and have a potential to be great essay. that my point of view, and you don't have to take any advice I give. :)
sarthakjain   
Dec 16, 2012
Undergraduate / "The Boy didn't know......." Princeton/ Quote that define you [6]

please help me with this Princeton essay by reviewing it for grammar and style. Also tell me if it sounds cribbing or braggart at some points. any help will be appreciated.

prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title, and author at the beginning of your essay.

"The Boy didn't know what a person's 'destiny' was... It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young knows what their destiny is."

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

"No, Sarthak, You cannot do it. You are of no good to it. Leave it and you will be spared from the disgrace." My father was enraged, his anger palpable. A strong feeling of rejection overwhelmed me as he angrily told me to not to pursue science as a subject in high school. Belonging to a long line of religious people, my father have a strict aversion to study of sciences. My life is defined by physics formula and ornamented by chemical equations, but for him it was a blasphemy. But my love for science became the reason of my father's hate. I was bruised both physically and emotionally. Though my mother came at the moment - a god send (not a pun) to save me from the inferno that might have caused me severe physical pain, the incident left an indelible impression on my mind. It became a defining moment for me, as instead of being discouraged, I was all the more determined to pursue my dreams than ever before.

In time, my father's rage sequestered and constant pleading from my mother made him change his mind. I was allowed to take up some science related subjects but a countenance of annoyance was visibly established each time he looked at me. Nevertheless, His dejection built me into a stronger person. It was the beginning of my high school sophomore year. With three years ahead of me, I made a resolution - that no more will our dreams become pre-packaged set of workload imposed on by the society. I will fight for freedom of us, students, from this unseen form of bondage that let us not pursue our dreams - the freedom of choosing what we want to study, what we want to achieve and what we want to become.

Each passing day gave my resolution more concrete shape. I didn't miss any opportunity to act on it. Through the power of student government, I started a club to counsel students on opportunities they have in the field they choose and parents on letting their children choose their goals. We were met with a mixed response - some appreciated while others, like my father, considered it a profanity. We were intimidated and hindered, but our spirits weren't extinguished. Maybe we weren't able to transform everyone's life, but we surely made a difference in some.

So, looking out at horizon a few months ago, I remembered a 13 year old me who couldn't completely understand what the above quote meant, but in time got a clarity to see into the depths of its words. For two days I cried when my father rejected my aspirations, letting all my inhibitions to flow along with my tears. A will to fight replaced them - a fight against oppression of our dreams.
sarthakjain   
Dec 20, 2012
Undergraduate / Sibling insecurity and much more -Common App/ Application essay [13]

you referred to your brother as "boy" in whole essay. I felt it a little discomforting. otherwise, the essay is really awesome and idea is great. My only comment - just soften a little bit in some parts. Anger is dominating feeling I got from this essay, than passion. But That's just me, you don't have to take my advice :)
sarthakjain   
Dec 21, 2012
Undergraduate / Exodus to epiphany - Common App Essay! [17]

i think the content is really good, but i have reservations regarding the Neo part, maybe the AO haven't seen the matrix and couldn't relate to your reference.
sarthakjain   
Dec 21, 2012
Undergraduate / Reading - Common App; extracurricular activity [4]

Hello, please review the short extracurricular answer of mine for common app. please point out any grammar mistake and also, if the idea is smoothly flowing through the paragraph (specifically the italicized line) . any help will be appreciated. Did it appear dull or interesting ? please be harsh in your review.

prompt:please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activity or work experience in brief. ( 1000 character maximum)

The activity is quite simple, yet quite demanding in its own right - Reading. I enjoy turning pages, exploring the world through the ink on pages of papyrus. The anticipation of what is going to come next makes me ecstatic - ranging from political description of World War II in Mein Kampf to flowery language of Wuthering Heights. And most importantly I like to read the works of my contemporaries including my family and friends. That's why I decided to be a part of School Editorial Board, which gave a chance to explore through the writings of great many students and in addition, get a glance into their ideologies and biases. Day after day of editing those creative pieces of literature fashioned or challenged my own views, brought rib bursting laughter or heart shattering tears and a new sense of understanding and respect for my peers. Nonetheless, whatever the feeling is, in the end, it always gives me pleasure nothing else can possibly give.
sarthakjain   
Dec 22, 2012
Undergraduate / Exodus to epiphany - Common App Essay! [17]

Some grammatical in the ending. Otherwise, the essay is clearly more focused on you now . Good Job.

there were much more people in need of help like the Egyptians in the airport

many, not much

when there were still lots of Egyptians unable to get my help

when a lot of Egyptians were unable to get my hep

my parts of my time

parts of my life
sarthakjain   
Dec 22, 2012
Undergraduate / Why Yale? Candidness in teaching - Yale Supp [5]

prompt: What in particular about yale have influenced on your decision to apply? (500 characters)
I know Yale through two sources only - the website and Open Yale Courses. The summer of 2011 , I looked through "Freshman Organic Chemistry" and "Milton" class on OYC and the thing that struck out was the candidness in teaching, without sacrificing rigor of the subject. The professors and students shared a mutual friendship and warmth in their interactions. This openness along with the perfect tie up between engineering and humanities courses makes Yale a perfect place for me pursue creativity.

prompt: What would you do with a free afternoon tomorrow? (175 characters)
catch up will my online courses,write my blog which I have been avoiding lately and then read Wuthering Heights on my front porch again for tenth time.Perhaps a quick nap too.

prompt: What is the best piece of advice you have received in the last three years? (175 characters)
Sometimes the chains that prevent us from being free are more mental than physical. Break Them and you can do what you want (most of the times).

prompt: If you could witness one moment in history, what would it be and why? (175 characters)
The settlement of Humans as a society as this was the moment which defined our very way of living . Understanding the roots can help us solve present social turmoil problems.

prompt: What do you wish you were better at being or doing? (175 characters)
Being a better listener. I tend to continuously give my opinion without ever thinking about what the other person have to say.I regret this impulsiveness most of the times.

prompt: What is something about which you have changed your mind in the last three years? (175 characters)
You cannot live alone.Earlier,I tended to avoid people, tried to be on my own,but I cannot live without having people around me and sharing my thoughts and feelings with them.

I really need help with them as deadline is approaching. please review this and tell if they are too cliche. any help will be appreciated. Also each answer uses all the space available, with no scope of addition. They can only be modified.
sarthakjain   
Dec 23, 2012
Undergraduate / Amherst Supplement: Rigor and Insight / "Another chapter in Amherst" [3]

your thinking is quite right, but I feel that you exaggerated your vocabulary a little too much. I was lost in the language as I transitioned 2nd to 3rd paragraph, the idea being vague and not fully brought out. As an AO would be reading tens of such essays each day, I don't think you would like them to stress their minds too much on understanding what you wanna say. The idea is perfect, yet somehow the language brings it down a little bit. But that's just me . I hope this helps. :)
sarthakjain   
Dec 24, 2012
Undergraduate / Carnegie Mellon Supplement- Biology [2]

The answer is not too specific to prompt, a lot of stuff is repeated without any insight. try to incorporate more specific things about Carnegie Mellon.

I knew I wanted to study science. With the ability to adapt, organisms are very complex and it is both humbling and inspiring to look at the metabolic pathways in a cell and see how they mindlessly lead to life.

I didn't understood it. Maybe you should make the transition better, the flow is not smooth.
Hope this helps :)
sarthakjain   
Dec 24, 2012
Undergraduate / 'philosophy of science' - Stanford Intellectual vitality essay - mentoring [8]

prompt: Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

please review this essay. I think It is right now a little haphazard. please help me make it smoother and interesting. Also, please point out any grammatical mistakes. Any help will be appreciated.

Once in their life, every student curses his teacher for one or the other reason - lots of homework, teaching late, taking extra classes and the like. And I am no exception to this phenomena. But the summer of 2012, I learnt a widely unrecognized fact - teaching is not for weak hearted. It requires strength of warrior, determination of presidential candidate and love for what you teach. But more importantly, you gain a better understanding of your own knowledge. It is an intellectual roller coaster, one which I rode on when I mentored my fellow students on the different aspects of web development and machine learning, which I have been studying since my freshman year.

At the beginning of summer break, I decided to share my knowledge with my peers, thus setting up a class for the same. I got thirty registrations, much more than what I expected and so started the ride. As the track become steeper, I encountered my first inversion - one of the student asked me an insightful question about regression - which I wasn't able to answer. How much should we believe what we predict? Engrossed in the technicalities, I realized I have lost the real life implications of what I have studied. For days I pondered over the question, searching for answer in the formulae and academic texts, but to no avail. The experience was an eye opener, a discernment into the philosophy of science. Through the course of eight weeks, such experiences made me understand the subject much more clearly, much more deeply. I was a new person with a stronger grasp on my own knowledge, an intellectually developed person.

I have 400 characters left , please suggest an interesting ending too.

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