Writing Feedback / I would argue that globalization influences people to learn foreign language, English especially [5]

All children should study a foreign language in school starting in the earliest grades. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the development of globalization which foreign languages becomes important to communicate with other people in different countries, some people argue that children in the earliest grades have to learn a foreign language. I strongly believe that this has both positive and detrimental effects.

I would argue that globalization influences people to learn foreign language, English language specially. Result shows that about 1,500,000,000 people in the world speak in English, and around 1,000,000,000 people are studying it. Moreover, almost all of international conferences and international competitions are held in English language, Olympiad for example. Although this can help people to communicate with foreigners, traditional language is abandoned.

Based on that data, many parents more concerned with foreign languages than traditional languages. If this kind of case continue, it will make the traditional languages extinct. To illustrate, Mapia, Tandia, Bonerif and Saponi were kind of traditional languages that vanished in Papua. As a result, people in the future may not know about their traditional languages, and it will become a big problem for a country as traditional languages are a country cultures.

However, learn about foreign languages specially English will help people to challenge the development of globalization. For instance, Asian Free Trade Agreement (AFTA) will be applied soon, and all of Asian countries will compete to dominate the trade's competition. Thus, English competence is needed to assist people to contend with the other countries.

To sum up, it seems to me that learn a foreign language is important, and it can leg up people to vie global competition. In order to achieve that a foreign language should be learned by children in the earliest grades. Although, there is possibility that traditional language will be abandoned. In my opinion the stakeholder should look carefully at traditional languages besides foreign languages.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 : Public transportation still has possibilities to pollute environment [4]

Question:
The proliferation of private cars on the roads in many parts of the world has led to serious problems of pollution and may contribute to global warming. Some people think that governments should spend money for the development of public transportation system in order to help alleviate this problem. Others think it is better to spend money for the development of electric and other types of cars that may cause less pollution.

Do you think it is better for governments to spend money developing public transportation or developing new kinds of cars? Why or why not? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Answer:
Pollution becomes predominant problem in the middle of global warming issues since user of private cars on the roads increases in many parts of the world. Many people say that public transportation can become the best solution, while other people think that spending money for development of less pollution car is better. I strongly believe that spending money for public transportation can become an important factor that causes people choose public transportation than private cars. However, less pollution cars such as ecofriendly cars or hybrid cars can solve the pollution problem.

Many people tend to use private cars because of time efficiencies. Businessman, teacher, and lecturer need a fast transportation because they should attend to their work place in the early morning. The facilitation of public transportation does not provide their need about fast transportation. So, many people choose using their own cars than use public transportation.

Due to many people choose private cars, the number of private cars on the road increases significantly every years. This case becomes main factor that cause the percentage of pollution in the world rises. In addition, global warming becomes worse as pollution contributes many greenhouse gasses every day. As the result, it will become a serious problem for our environment.

This kind of problem can be solved by development types of cars that may cause a less pollution. Owing to public transportation still has possibilities to pollute environment, it cannot become the best solution. People need to use transportation that creates less pollution at once can transport them on schedule to work place. To illustrates, public transportation nowadays lends to disobey the transportation schedule time. Thus, people in hurry cannot attend to their work place on the instalment plan. Furthermore, hybrid cars can answer pollution and time problem at once.

All in all, spending money for development of public transportation does not answer pollution problem yet, while hybrid cars can solve two problems at the same time. In my opinion, if types of cars that cause less pollution can be developed, the proportion of pollution in our environment can be decreased.

(348 words)

Writing Feedback / The improvement of the world's population every year becomes the most significant concern. [2]

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time.
What are the causes of this continued rise?
Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

The improvement of the world's population every year becomes the most significant concern. Some people argue that the large number of world population is the predominant problem at the present time that humanity should resolve. I strongly believe that there are several factors that cause the world's population increased every year, but the population growth is not the mightiest problem that humanity have to face.

It is believed that, the predominant factor that causes the continued rise of population in the world is unplanned pregnant. A 2013 research of Melbourne University shows that the number of birth in India and China increased dramatically during the period 2009 to 2013, and it became the biggest contributor in the rise of world population. This case annually increase as many people in India and China tend to ignore the Planning Family Program that government has applied in order to control the population growth. As a result, unplanned program still become the main factor that influences the rise of overpopulation in the world.

While it is believed that the world's overpopulation is the main problem, crime cases also influence most people. A 2014 Makassar State University study explains that the crime rate in Makassar incline dramatically between 2010 and 2013 from 2500 to 3000 cases per year. It happened as the number of unemployment increase annually, and the government has not be able to provide job for the unemployment. Consequently, many people are more aware about crime cases than the over population.

To sum up, the causes of the continued rise of the world population is unplanned pregnant, and crime cases are the predominant problem that humanity should tackle. In my opinion, these cases have to become issue of people around the world.

(289 words)

Writing Feedback / Cheap Labour - allowing unemployed to work is a good way to help them to pass their poverty line [2]

Question:

Some people believe that unemployed people should be made to work for their welfare/benefit payments. Others, however, see this as cheap labor.
Discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of making unemployed people take any job.
Do you believe that making unemployed people work is a good idea?

Answer:

As the world is more competitive, the number of unemployment is growing. This is the reason why some people believe that unemployed people should be made to work for their benefit payments. However, others argue that this is a way to create cheap labor. While people believe that this trend has merits and demerits, I would argue that it has more advantages than disadvantages.

It is believed that if unemployed people is made to work, it will decrease the number of people who under the poverty line as they can earn money even though the salary is cheap, and it is better than becoming an unemployment. A 2013 research of Keele university shows that the number of the poor in several countries like India and Brazil which are made unemployed people to work was decrease slightly in the over two decades. It causes many countries trying to apply this trend. Consequently, it becomes a significant solution to decrease the number of the poor in some countries.

While it is believed that this trend can help people to increase their income, quality of employees is not becoming a predominant concern for some companies as people take any job beyond their skills. Study shows that more than 2,000 companies which is made unemployed people to work do not provide their employees a training so as to give them basic skills. It affects the quality of the employees who work in those companies. It means this trend will give a detrimental effect for employee's quality.

It is imperative that this trend will help the government to decrease the number of unemployment. Likewise, it will help people to pass through the poverty line. Even though it is a good method to help unemployed people, the training of employees have to become a priority in order to provide high quality employees and prevent the cheap labor as they have quality in their discipline.

All in all, despite the disadvantages of making unemployed people to work, it will be a good method to help the poor to pass their poverty line. It is imperative that to prevent unemployed people becoming a cheap labor, they have to give basic training so as to improve their quality.

(369 words)

Writing Feedback / As the media are growing, their influence are becoming more widely [2]

Question:

It is becoming more and more difficult to escape the influence of the media on our lives. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in a media rich society.

Answer:

As the media are growing, their influence are becoming more widely. This is why many people argue that people will be difficult to avoid the impact of the media in our daily activities. Although there are many opinions about the advantages and disadvantages of the media, I strongly believe that nowadays the media help people life become more easily because this provides many features which are useful for numerous people.

It is believed that the appearance of the media reduce face-to-face interaction of people in as much as they can communicate using the media such as the Internet. A 2013 research of South-Wales University shows that 60 percent of 100 samples who asked in a survey about their interaction with other people said that they communicate with others using the Internet more frequently than meet them directly. As it can be seen from the instance, the media replaced the function of face-to-face communication among the people because it is easy to use.

Furthermore, the development of the media causes the number of crimes increases dramatically. There are about 20 cybercrime cases every day, and it indicates that the media can be used by some people to perpetrate illegal activities such as hacking the bank account, sending blackmail, or stealing credit card's personal identity number. Consequently, the media have a big influence to attempt people to do illegal activities.

While it is believed that the media bring many detrimental influences, there are many advantages that the media provide in people daily lives. Firstly, the media help people keep in touch with their family or colleague even though they are separated in different places. There are many applications which are provided by the media in order to assist people to communicate such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Secondly, the media assist people to keep up to date with the latest news, fashions or ideas. It means people will not lose any information that they need. For example, they want to know about how to pass the IELTS exam, then they just type it in their computer and all of the lessons or tricks will be appeared. Also, the media can be used to optimize the learning and teaching process in schools because the feature of most media can attract student curiosity to learn about a subject. Video tutorial for instance, it always be used by teachers to teach their students about human anatomy of the photosynthesis process.

All in all despite the disadvantage of the media, it can bring many benefits to people activities and make people work finish easily. To tackle the disadvantages of the media, government should make a restrict rule to prevent people abusing the internet.

Writing Feedback / Proportional number of gender in education system [2]

Question:

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female student in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

There are many benefits to going to University. Some people argue that in every subject universities should provide same proportion of male and female students. While it has merits and demerits, I would argue that this regulation is a form of injustice system.

It is believed that equal number of gender in every subject will give a proportional number in class and prevent the domination of gender. It will lead to a balance percentage of employees or workers who work in institutions or companies. Study shows that the equality of the gender in a work place will bring a comfort atmosphere and influence workers mood because of its diversity. This is the reason why in some universities try to apply this regulation so as to produce a balance graduate.

However, this regulation is a form of injustice system as student may be have no passion or curiosity in several subjects, but because of the equality regulation in the university, they have to join those subjects. Take Japan for example, in their higher education system, they do not push their student to take subject that they do not have passion on it and reject the equality of gender to be applied in education system as it is not an appropriate method to produce high-quality students. Consequently, the equality of gender does not suitable to be applied in higher education system.

To sum up, despite the proportional number of gender in universities subject, the equality of male and female students in any universities subject is a bad regulation for higher education system. It is imperative that student should join class which they have passion on it without equality of gender proportion regulation.

(280 words)

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - some university students should only study one specialist subject [3]

Question:

Some university students should only study one specialist subject, while others think the universities should encourage the students to study a series of subjects in addition to the one subject. Give your opinion.

Answer:

Over recent years specialist subject at university is becoming debatable issue in higher education ministry. Some people believe that universities should make a regulation which student only study one specialist subject, whereas others argue that it is better if students study various subjects so as to add their knowledge. Even though many opinion about both sides, I would argue that if student learn one specific subject, it will create an expert student in their discipline, but it must be supported by basic knowledge of some subjects which is linear with it.

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Writing Feedback / The number of kilometers of route and passengers per year of railway system in six different cities [2]

Given is the table illustrating the information about the number of kilometers of route and passenger per year of underground railway system in six cities. Overall it can be seen that despite the date opened, the number of Tokyo passenger is the highest number among the other cities, whereas London has the highest value in kilometers of route categories. However, Kyoto is the lowest in two categories, kilometers of route and passenger per year.

From the table, we can see that Kyoto and Los Angeles have the lowest number since their underground railway system was built. In 1981, Kyoto builds its underground railway system and it operates as far as only 11 kilometers of route, while in 2001 Los Angeles has 28 kilometers of route. This category has similar pattern with passenger per year category which at 45 million passenger for Kyoto and 50 million passenger in Los Angeles.

A closer look at the data illustrates that while Tokyo has significant passenger at 1927 million passenger in only 155 kilometers route, London only has 775 million passenger in 394 kilometer of route. However, Paris which is opened in 1900 has 1191 passenger in 199 kilometers of route. This number is quite different with Washington DC who has only 144 million passenger per year in 126 kilometers.

Writing Feedback / Advertising is known as the predominant factor which influence the high sales of popular stuff [3]

Question:

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Answer:

Advertising is known as the predominant factor which influence the high sales of popular stuff, whereas some people argue that advertising pursue people to buy goods which are not their basic needs. However, while advertising have brought significant influence to sales rate, it can be argued that advertising has a negative temptation to manipulate people in order to purchase particular stuff that they do not need.

It is believed that advertising leads people curiosity to buy popular goods as advertising illustrates only the benefit of products. Study show that advertising has a significant influence in terms of increasing the sales rate of a product about 60 percent. This proportion is quite higher than the products which do not have advertising. This is the reason why many companies use advertising to promote their product. As a result, various advertising appear annually so as to pursue people passion.

In addition, some people purchase some stuffs without considering about the benefits of that stuffs due to the power of advertising as most advertiser usually make unique advertising or using famous people as its mascot. Shampoo advertisement for example, it always uses famous football player as their products icon. It makes people to be curious to try a product without thinking its benefits. Consequently, because of advertising, the sales rate of some products increases dramatically.

Therefore, the main factor which influences the improvement of goods sales rate is advertising. It is imperative that people should be more wisely to purchase some stuffs and consider the benefits of goods whereby they want to buy so as to prevent them purchasing unnecessary products.

(267 words)

Writing Feedback / The youngsters should use their opportunities to travel or work wisely - it might help to find a job [3]

Question:

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Answer:

Working and traveling are becoming more popular trend among youngster than finishing their study or applying in university. While this trend has merits and demerits, I strongly believe that it has more benefits than drawback.

It is believed that working for youngster who have no degree certificate will make them as a cheap labor as it shows that they have no skills and less experiences. A 2013 research of South-wales University reveals that about 60 per cent employees who have no higher education certificate get salary under Rp. 1,000,000. It means that this trend will lead the number of cheap labor rate. Also, traveling in the young age will resist their career, and it will cause a rise of the number of unemployment.

However, there are some benefits from this trend. Firstly, youngsters working and traveling experience will improve their soft skill which is essentially needed in the job world. It means that the young people have experience that becomes a basic need for them, so they can find a job. Likewise, working and traveling will open a big possibility for youngsters to find a job link as predominant factor in the job world. Also, traveling can open young people's mind to be more creative and wise as they face a lot of challenges on their traveling.

All in all, despite the demerits of this trend, traveling and working are form of beneficial activities for youngsters so as to improve their basic skills that they need in their future. It is imperative that if youngsters can use their opportunities to travel or work wisely, it will make them easier to find a job.

Writing Feedback / Finding the best way to solve huge traffic and air pollution problems (without vehicles taxation) [3]

Question:

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Answer:

Nowadays, traffic and pollution are becoming essential problem in the world. Some people argue that high price of petrol is the significant method to solve these problems, while I extremely believe that this method will affect the price of people basic needs. However, the best measurement to overcome traffic and pollution problem is the tax of private vehicle.

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Writing Feedback / Characteristic and experience influence on a person life [2]

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Every people has their own characteristics since they are born, and this characteristic are believed as the main factor which influence to personality and development when it is compared to people's experience. I would argue that people's characteristics may influence their personalities and development, while experiences are the predominant factor which have much more influence to mold both of that.

Characteristic influences people's personalities, but it has only slight effect on people's development inasmuch as fabulous characteristic does not guarantee the quality of a person. Many people in the part of the world which have good personality but they cannot compete in the workplace due to lack experience. Study shows that around 5 million people rejected by employment and companies as they are not be able to work in team even though they have high academic skills. It means that characteristic cannot be a reliable measurement personality and development through human beings life.

Likewise, experiences mold people personality to become more mature as they can gain not only cognitive skills, but also the value of life. A 2013 research of Keele University shows that experienced people have 70 per cent possibilities to be accepted in the job fair inasmuch as they have high skills qualification. Consequently, experiences are needed to mold people's personalities to become more mature.

In sum, even though characteristic may influence people's personality and development, experiences have significant impact to create high-quality personality, it is imperative that people have to balance their experience with their characteristic so as to rise their quality.

(255 words)

Writing Feedback / Fixed punishment is becoming debatable issue over recent years [2]

Question:

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Answer:

Fixed punishment is becoming debatable issue over recent years. The main argument in favour of this punishment is suitable for any type of crime, while opponents believe that people should know about motivation behind the crime and the circumstance of that crime. Inspite of opinions in both sides, I would argue that each type of crime should be analyzed first before judge decides type of punishment.

The general view is that fixed punishment is a form of strict law which has significant possibility to reduce crime's rate inasmuch as it will make people afraid to commit illegal activities. Take China as an example, fixed punishment is applied for financial crime's culprit, and the process is showed to the publicity so as to mold people anxiety to perpetrate crimes. Thus, it can be the best solution to reduce crime's rate in society.

Conversely, before punishment is decided, people or judge have to consider in people motive to commit crime as sometimes it does not their own fault. A 2013 research of Psychology department shows that about 40 per cent of people motive to commit crime are caused by external factor such they have to defend on themselves. It is advocated by Laksmini's murder case in 2005 which reveals that Laksmini kills Petrus with the aim of defend herself for being rapped. It means that the people cannot judge the crime's punishment before all of the motive and evidence appear.

Based on those views, I would argue that deciding fixed punishment have to pass through many consideration in several aspects. Firstly, all of the evidence should be clear as it will prevent the judge punishes wrong people who solely become a black lamb. Also, law has to concern about the motivation of people for committing crime as occasionally it does not their own fault. Consequently, if this phases are applied it shows the form of injustice.

Ultimately, despite the positive effect of fixed punishment, it will be better if people of judge investigate deeply the motivation and the circumstance of crime before punishment is decided. It is imperative that this means of punishment consideration is the best method.

(356 words)

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1-Extinction of Plant and animal species and its threats [2]

The line graph provides a breakdown of the flora and fauna extinctions data in tropical forest from 2000 to 2015 and its forecast until 2100, while the diagram highlights the threats to flora life rest on human impact and natural event.

Clearly, it can be seen that the number of extinct species significantly increased in the beginning of period and it is predicted to reach the highest number in 2060, while in the next last decades, it is forecasted to dip dramatically. However, the biggest contributor in the plant life extinction is human impact, whereas natural events have less impact.

With regard to flora and fauna extinctions, they are estimated to increase over six decades. In the beginning of period, the number of flora and fauna extinction stood at approximately 5000 million species. This number is forecasted to reach a peak at 50,000 million species in 2060, but it will fall dramatically to under 30,000 million species in the last four decades.

Moving to the flora life's diagram, agriculture is the highest proportion in human impact category at 18.7 per cent, whereas plantations and invasive species are solely at under 5 percent. Harvesting is the second highest proportion at about less than a fifth, it is around double less than livestock categories at 7.7 percent. Logging and development categories are similar which have percentage at approximately one in ten. In another case of natural events' factor, natural disaster has a very small number, whereas other natural events proportions are 11.7 percent.

(247 words)

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Writing Feedback / The diagram depicts the phases of erosion of a headland [3]

The pictures highlight description with regard to erosion of a headland phases. Clearly, it can be seen that there are four phases of a headline erosion as a result of rock erosion which took a place in a cliff face.

At once time, there is merely two small hollows as an effect of weak areas-rock erosion. These hollows have significant possibilities to be reached by waves, and it influences erosion of the hole which near from the coast to become arch. This erosion makes the hole to erode more quickly than the other hollow inasmuch as the waves hit the outside part of the cliff more frequently such Durdle Door, Dorset. As a result, the hole of the outside art of the cliff is wider than the inside one. [..]

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