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Posts by thinhtvdhtm
Joined: Sep 17, 2009
Last Post: Jan 29, 2010
Threads: 41
Posts: 97  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 138 / page 1 of 4
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thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 29, 2010
Writing Feedback / tobacco adverts should be banned? [13]

thanks so much beginer
HELLo KEVIN. sorry i had a spelling mistake. it is" to sum up"
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 28, 2010
Writing Feedback / tobacco adverts should be banned? [13]

thanks Kevin. however, i do not understand why "to sump up" is not a good word. i think " to sump up= in conclusion" could u explain further for me and show me some other one can use in the last paragraph in writing essay. thanks so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 27, 2010
Writing Feedback / the trend:throw away old one instead of repairing. causes and effects? [6]

i am preparing for ielts, however, i am really worried about my writing skill. could u help me point out all my mistakes. i am really happy to see my own mistakes. thanks so much

People nowadays throw away things when they are broken rather than repair or recycle them as they did in the past.

People nowadays prefer buying now products to repairing old or broken one. Some people consider that this trend is a signal of the modern life, and it is indispensable. Certainly, this results in the social division of labor and the improvement in living standard of humankind.

There is no doubt that our quality of life has been improving day by day; therefore it is easily understandable why people in many part of the world are used to throwing old or broken goods away instead of repairing as they used to in the past. When living standard is upgraded, it also means that incomes are higher and people can afford more goods they like.

Furthermore, the indivision in social labor also contribute to this trend. In the past, most people in community could do a lots things to support their own lives such as: cultivating food, making clothes. However, in modern societies, the specialization is a widespread trend, thus most people are able to do some certain things. And as a result, sometimes, they cannot repair broken goods by themselves. This is a main reason why people often take new products to replace broken one. In fact, even though people can have someone repaired for them, indeed, but they still decide to purchase others because it is often costly for repairing or the quality of repaired products is low.

I believe that this trend is a common phenomena in the 21 century; however, it also can cause some problems. When people like new goods than old or repaired one, it means that the life cycle of products is reduced. The more new goods is demanded, the more natural resources people need to consumed. At that time, the big problem shortage of energy resources will become more severe. In addition, the a mount of rubbish given off will increase, and it makes our planet become more polluted.

In conclusion, this trend at the moment can be a positive signal showing that people have a better life. However, in the future, it will also be a potential thread to humankind's life.
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / tobacco adverts should be banned? [13]

hello, Kumara.
your comments are out of the question. please leave more useful comment about my essay. thanks so much
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 24, 2010
Writing Feedback / tobacco adverts should be banned? [13]

i am preparing for ielts, i am really worried about my writing. please help me to check my mistakes.
and your comments on whole, thanks so much
In a recent survey conducted in this country, it was found that up to 20% of twelve year-olds in some schools were showing early signs of nicotine addiction.

In the eighteen to twenty year age bracket the percentage was as high as 70%. A large contributing factor to this high level of addiction is attributed to the uncensored TV advertising of cigarettes.


For this reason all cigarette advertising should be banned.

Recently, public media professionals have warned about the danger of smoking cigarettes, and they have also showed a plenty of scientific evidences to clarify this bad habit on people's health. However, in some group of people, the numbers of addicted people has been rising rapidly. Therefore, many people are in favor of an opinion that all advertisements of tobacco companies should be totally banned, and this widespread opinion should be acknowledged.

Obviously, advertising on TV or other media means now is the most powerful means of all businesses, and tobacco companies are not an exception. Through using this form of advertisement, those companies can gain giant profits via the rise in the sales. In addition, the State can collect more money for national budget by income taxes.

However, hundreds of thousand people die every year because of smoking cigarettes, and with this negative effect on humankind, I definitely agree that all adverts of tobacco companies should not be allowed on all public media means. Scientists have claimed that smoking can lead to dealy diseases such as cancer, heart disease and other diseases related to cardiovascular and respiratory problems. Most of those diseases are uncured or costly to cure. In addition, smoking can not only damage health of smokers, but also non-smokers. Many scientific research indicated that passive smokers can be affected by smoke stream outside which can lead to severe problems.

To sump up, banning all tobacco companies from advertising on public media is an effective solution to this problem. However, educating the young is considered more effective way. Therefore, it is much better when all schools take courses showing the danger of smoking to their curriculum.
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 24, 2010
Student Talk / What is ielts writing? I am confused. [27]

personally, i think that it is better for u to try to write a paragraph before writing an essay.
the more materials u read, the better E u can gain
good luck
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 24, 2010
Writing Feedback / marriages should be arranged by the parents or not? [6]

thanks for your encouragement, Kevin. i have just taken real ielts, and i got reading 7.0, listening 6.0 writing 6.0 and speaking 5.5. however, most universities in Australia ask the entry requirement for English is at least 6.5. so now i really need help from members of this forum, especially from you: a helpful and kind Moderator. hope to receive more comments from u for my essays

thanks so much again
have a nice day
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / governments should try to promote alternative energy resources? [NEW]

i am preparing for ielts, however, my writing skill is not good.could u check this essay for my mistakes. i will be really pleased to see my mistakes pointed out by you.

thanks so much


Governments should make more effort to promote alternative sources of energy.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Recently, scientists, politicians as well as public media means have announced that if people continue to use energy in the way they are doing, in the short time, humankind will have to confront with lack of energy resources. Therefore, many people around the world have urged governments to promote in order to create and find new sources of energy. The question whether or not governments should try to carry out this project is controversial.

Obviously, with alternative resources such as wind energy, sunlight energy or tomb energy, people can reduce demand for fossil energy the limited resources like gas, coal. It is predicted that in the future, there will be a lack of energy due to increase in the global population and industries. However, the need of humankind for energy can be meet when alternative resources which are considered to be unlimited are created.

However, people can face to many problems during the process of alternative resource of energy. Taking process of recycling rubbish for an example. Many people believe that with this process, people can not just reduce the amount of waste given off caused of land pollution, water source under surface of the earth, but also make new energy source for people's demand. Nevertheless, in fact, instead of polluting the land, when people burn rubbish, smoke made by this process leads to polluted air environment. So, with this solution, we cannot reduced the level of pollution. Even atom energy which is consider the most effective and powerful solution can result in some issues. When governments develop this kind of energy, they have to spend a large amount of money, high technology, and it seems impossible in many developing and poor countries. It will be not effective if governments invest finance in this field, meanwhile other basic need of their residents such as demand for foods, clothes, medicine, accommodation cannot be meet.

In a word, I agree that governments should manage to find new energy so that meet the rise in humankind's energy demands. However, it does not mean that they should spend money on it as much as possible. All things governments try to do are in order to improve living standard for citizens in their countries, but they will be meaningless if basic demand of people cannot be meet. Therefore, it is more important that governments should balance their budge between new sources of energy and basic demand of people.
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / Why do you want to be a part of Teach for India? [5]

Education is a light which enlightens a person in the same way a lamp lightens a dark room. But in order to ignite thethis light of education in a person, a teacher plays a vital role. Education is not only a means for sustenance but also a means for the growth of inner self. In my 16 years of educational life, I've considered education as a process to not only sharpen our brain but also a method of igniting our thoughts.

I
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / using computers in schools results in the rise in the illiteracy rate? [3]

i am preparing for ielts test.my writing skill is bad. could u help me point out all my mistakes. i am really happy to see my mistakes. thanks so much

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills.

Do you agree or disagree

There is no double that the computer is one of the most significant eventions in the history of humankind, and they are now applied into a range of different sections. Using computer in school to support children learn better is a popular trend in many parts of the world. However, whether or not this trend is good for learners is open for debate.

Obviously, computers contain many advances based on the development of high technology which can help people learn faster and more effectively. In the past, learners can gain information and knowledge from books and their teachers; nevertheless, with computers, students are able to get what they need from not only their teachers, friends or books, but also the internet which is often considered the biggest information resources. Furthermore, students may use software program in existence in order to studying more easily.

However, some people claim that using computer in children school results in the increase in the illiteracy rates in many countries, especially in the developed ones. People have to admit that the number of children who cannot read or write in some corners of the world is raising, and the popularity of the media should take responsibility for this problem. In the past, children use to read books for leisure in their spare time, which helped them improve ability to read and write, but it is very different nowadays. Children can what TV or play video in their free time without literacy. Instead of reading to understand stories, now children still can do it without literacy, beacause all things have already read or acted out for them.

Furthermore, the curriculum at school is also a factor which contributes to the rise in the illiteracy rates of children. In some schools, many courses which support for students basic reading and writing skills have been removed, thus it leads the lack of basic skill teaching for them and results in this rise.

In a word, removing computers out of schools and coming back to the basic teaching style is not a good option. It is much better when there are some courses training for children computer basic skills, and at that time, children can use computer in a positive way. In addition, schools should have more basic courses to improve ability to read and write of learners.
thinhtvdhtm   
Jan 17, 2010
Writing Feedback / people should try to earn money as much as possible?? [5]

i am preparing for ielts test. my writing is bad.please check for me about grammar, sentence sructures as well as logic. thanks so much

Money can not buy happiness' it is often claimed. But with money you can buy most of thing that are necessary for happiness: good food, accommodation etc. No wonder that most people want to make as much money as possible. Do you agree or disagree.


The question whether or not money can buy every things is controversial. Obviously, in modern society, people are less like to have a good life without money; because, to buy any things for the daily basis, people need to have money. However, I strongly believe that money is not all things what people need; there are many things that is more important than money such as happiness, friend and family relation ship.

In our daily life, there are a range of things that people cannot use money to acquire. Taking happiness for an example; it is often believed that money cannot buy happiness. It is understandable because happiness is some invisible thing that people cannot see or touch, and people can only feel it in their minds. Furthermore, different people keep different thinking about happiness: some link it to materials, while others link to intangible things. In fact, there is a mass of factors forming happiness such as relation ship with friends, colleges or family members which is not purchased with money, not only materials

Moreover, there are also lots of things which are really more important and justified for people to pursuit than earning money such as building good and strong relation ship with people surrounding us, keeping a clear perspective in the future. I totally think that people will feel more meaningful toward life when they have good friends, happy family and receive lots care from people living surround them rather than having lots of money.

In conclusion, people should try to make more money to meet their material demands for improve their living standard. Nevertheless, it does not mean that people should earn money regardless of what they do, the way they earn. It is much better when people know how to balance between earning money and keeping good relation ship with other people, and at that time, people will feel clearly about the true value of the life.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 21, 2009
Writing Feedback / marriages should be arranged by the parents or not? [6]

thanks so much Jonathan Hsu
i am really happy to see your useful comments for my essay. i have posted many essays. i am wondering would u mind checking them for me. if it is possible. thanks so much again
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 21, 2009
Writing Feedback / marriages should be arranged by the parents or not? [6]

hello, i am preparing for ielts test, and i am really worried about my writing. could u help me to point out my mistakes as detail as possible,

thanks so much

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents. But, in other cases, people choose their own partners. Discuss and give your own opinions.

The idea that marriages should be arranged by the parents or other members in the family is acceptable in some parts of the world; however, it is completely out of the question for others. It is totally depends on the cultural expectation of the places where people live.

In so-called western countries, it is really unusual for marriages to be arranged by the parents. Most young people will not welcome the idea that their partners should be chose by their parents or by any one else, and they think that the right to choose their partners in the future is one of the most fundamental rights they should have. Even though sometimes they acknowledge that they make bad decisions.

However, in some other cases, it is quite common when marriages are arranged by the parents regardless whether or their children love the person they choose for them. In their eyes, their children are always immature even though they are ready adults. They think that making decision about marriage is the most important one in the life; therefore, they should help their offspring to make a conscious one to gain a happy family in the future. Take my country for an example; some parents arrange their children' lives in the way they like. Because, their own marriages were also arranged their parents, and they have a happy family; consequently, they believe that their offspring will have a happy family when they arrange marriage.

Personally, I strongly believe that marriages will be more likely to be happy if there are both the love between young people and the agreement of the parents for it. We cannot deny that parents who have a plenty of live experience and they can appreciate someone about the characteristics is better than the young can. Nevertheless, it is really hard to achieve a happy marriage without love; it will be better if the partners fall in love each other.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 20, 2009
Writing Feedback / Humankind has undergone many changes in the eating habit - food is easier to prepare [2]

i am preparing for ielts, and i really worry about my writing. please check for my grammar, structures and logic. i am happy to see your comments

thanks so much


Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live?

Humankind has undergone many changes in the eating habit from the period w
hen he hunted for himself to era when he has become dependent on processed food. Obviously, it has become easier to prepare nowadays. However, whether or not this change has improve people'lives is controversial.

To begin with, preparation for food, now, is much easier than ever before. With the development of technology, there are more and more equipment which helps people cook a meal easily such as stoves, microwaves cooking, refrigerators. For my country for an example; rice is a dish which cannot be absent in our daily meals, and with electronic cookers, it is so easy to prepare that a little child can do it. All things he needs to do is put rice and water into the cooker and press a button, then it takes only about fifteen minutes to have a dish. Furthermore, there are more and more processed food or cooked food, and with those foods, to prepare a meal is becoming not only easier, but also faster. taking my favourite dish for an example, it is called nuddle, and it is really simple to prepare: put it into a bowl then pour boiled water into and wait about five minutes I can have a meal.

This change, in fact, make the life of busy people more convenient. Instead of spending hours for preparation in the past, now, people can have a meal by themselves just in short time with some special equipment and precooked foods. People can use refridge to save time for going to stores to buy food. In the past, they have to buy food every day because they could not store food in their home for long time; however, now they can buy food enough for a week without worrying whether food is going to spoilt with a refridge. It means that people have more time for working, relaxing or studying.

However, personally, I do not think that this change has improve our lives. In fact, this convenience can cause some health problems and one of the outstanding one is the increase in the number of over weight people recently. People have eaten so much fast foods for precooked foods which contain so much sugar, and fatty nutrient.

In conclusion, the change in the way people prepare food makes our live more convenient, especially for busy people. However, it does not mean that this change has improve living standard of humankind.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 14, 2009
Writing Feedback / Smoking ban - essay argumentative [5]

hello, i think that it is the first time u write essay, the ideas are quite good
there is no equality between the introduction and the body.
let try again
oh, i have never heard that smoking should be banned every where, it should be banned in public places only, i think so
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / Why people are producing more and more rubbish? [4]

Kenvin, could u check for me again. i have added 2 sentences
There is no doubt that our environment is becoming more polluted, and the increase in the amount of waste which people are producing is one of the most important causes this problem. in this essay, i will clarify some causes as well as the solutions to this problems.

To sum up, it is really hard for governments to solve this problem without co-operation with their residents. It will be more successful if governments and all inhabitants are responsible for this issue. Residents should change their lifestyle and governments need take more steps to solve this problem.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 10, 2009
Writing Feedback / should take circumstance and motivation for committing into account for penalty? [4]

i am preparing for ielst, but i really worry about my writing, could u help me check for my grammar, structures and logic
thanks so much

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, think that the circumstance of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when making decision on the punishment.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinions?

The question whether or not punishment should be fixed for each kind of crime is controversial. In fact, there are many arguments which are both for and against for this view.

On the on side, people think that it would be better when there are fixed penalty for each type of crime. This will help reduce the numbers of criminals and bring the justice and equity to society. When a person is going to commit, if there is a certain for the kind of crime which he is going to do, he will know what will happen with him if he commits. This thought can make him feel frightened and prevent him from doing illegal things. As a result, the number of crime will be reduced and society becomes safer. Furthermore, those people also believe that if the punishment depends on the circumstance and motivation which sometimes is difficult to be determined correctly, criminals will have more chance to escape from the penalty of the law by cheating the court.

On the other side, some people consider that the governments should take circumstance and motivation of crime into account when deciding on the penalty. It is unfair when a person who kills other people in self defense and killer who has plans for committing. Consequently, in this situation, taking circumstance and motivation ensure the equity for all people.

In conclusion, personally, I am definite for taking cases and motivation for committing when the court decides on the punishment, which ensures the equity of the law. Moreover, to ensure that criminals cannot escape from their crimes, the court needs to make decision on the punishment consciously and objectively.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / the change in the life is good or not? discuss both sides and give your views. [3]

i am preparing for ielts, my writing is bad, and i cannot find out my own mistakes. could u check for my grammar, sentence structure as well as idea. thanks so muhc

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

During the past few decades, with the breakthroughs in technology and science, our lives have been changing than ever before. Some people think that this change makes their lives uncomfortable and unsafe. Nevertheless, most people believe that it help humankind has a better life. In this essay, I will analyze both sides of this issue as well as give my own views about it.

On the on side, some people consider that they can have a good life and work effectively when they do the same thing during their life time. They feel more pleasant and safe in a community without changes, and they also believe that they can work well when there is no change in their jobs. Although they know well that it is impossible and one day in the future, their jobs will be changed or even not in existence, they still keep their views.

On the other side, other people believe that changes in the life help people improve their abilities as well as the living standard. We cannot deny that the changes in modern society have improved our lives; however, it is not the same meaning that change is always a good thing. Our lives have become much better than ever before: people's lives are longer, most of our demands are met and people have more chances to develop their talents. Yet, the change comes at a price. Now, human kind has confronted with many negative effects of this change such as the breakout of diseases, the global warming, pollution and crimes.

In conclusion, personally, I strongly believe that the change is objective, and it is better when people adopt with it in active way. Even through there are several drawbacks of this change, this change is good our lives due to a mass of benefits of this change.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 7, 2009
Writing Feedback / Spending a large amount of money on space exploration is justified or not? [NEW]

i am preparing for ielts, and i really worry about my writing, could u help me point out my mistakes about grammar, structures and logics, thansk so much

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.


give more money for education and health services



People have spent a large amount of money for universe exploration every year. Many people believe that humankind has been wasting money on space research, and they also indicate that it would be much better to use this money to solve problems we have faced to in modern societies.

Obviously, we cannot deny the benefits coming from researching and exploring the universe. Scientists working on space missions help people understand more about the history of our planet as well as other planets in the space. Moreover, through studying and discovering the universe, human beings can predict the changes happening in the future, which can help people avoid disasters and adapt to the changes better.

However, there are a range of arguments against above opinion, and people believe that the money would be used more effectively to prevent and solve problems humankind has been confronting with nowadays. First of all, people can use their financial resource to improve the quality of education systems, which is considered being the priority of all countries around the world. A nation can develop only when it has high qualified personnel, which can just be gained with good education. Furthermore, guarding against the breakout of diseases is also urgent issue that we need to solve as soon as possible. Especially, in the third world, the developing countries, they lack money to upgrade health service systems. They really need more money to buy more health equipment, train more health workers, supply more medicines for the poor, and so on. When money is used for this purpose, there will be decrease in the number of people die every year by curable diseases due to lack of medicines such as tuberculosis, fever.

In conclusion, personally, I strongly believe that using this money to improve the quality of education and health services is much better than for the space discovery
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 6, 2009
Writing Feedback / Why people are producing more and more rubbish? [4]

i am preparing for ielts, however, i really worry about my writing it is bad. could u check for me grammar, structures and logic. point out my mistakes

thanks so much

Nowadays, we are producing more and more rubbish
Why do u think this is happening?
What can government do to help the amount of rubbish
produced?

There is no doubt that our environment is becoming more polluted, and the increase in the amount of waste which people are producing is one of the most important causes taking responsibility for this problem.

The amount of rubbish households give off is more than ever before, because nowadays people consume much more than they used to in the past. The population is rising, and as a result, the amount of goods needed to meet people's demand is also increasing. Moreover, living standards have been improved; the quantity of products consumed by people has gone up, too. Most products are packaged to make them more convenient for transferring from suppliers to consumers, and when people use those products, the packaging is useless and is thrown away. Even when people purchase fresh goods, they also use plastic bags to bring them to home. furthermore, the rapid development in industry accounts for almost of rising in the amount of wastes. during the past few decades, plants have been build more and more, the more factories are erected, the more rubbish is given off.

Recently, scientists and environmentalists have urged governments take measures to reduce the rise in the amount of rubbish. Governments should raise awareness among their inhabitants as well as encourage them to change the lifestyles to reduce the amount of waste such as using plastic bags as less as possible. Furthermore, governments should educated students to reserve the environment. They can invest more money to improve the quality of the recycling service system as well as fine households and shops do not attempt to recycle their rubbish.

To sum up, it is really hard for governments to solve this problem without co-operation with their residents. It will be more successful if governments and all inhabitants are responsible for this issue.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / newspaper is going to die in the near future due to popularity of the internet? [3]

i am preparing for ielts test, but my writing is bad, could u help me point out my mistakes about grammar, sentence structure and logic.

thanks so much

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do u agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world, people of ten ...
(...)

In addition , people can...
(...)
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / My favorite English teacher in my life [4]

My favorite teacher was an english teacher I met when I was in senior high Her name was Jenny.
she changed the way that I thinkthough about english
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / happiness definition and factors influence in achieving happiness - consensus of opinions [4]

I will analyze happiness definition and as well as factors which influence on acquiring happiness.

hi west, this is my essay, i wrote it about 2 months ago. pl check for me, thanks so muhc
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?

thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / Can happiness be defined? What factors are important in achieving happiness? [2]

Hapiness is an experience people wish to have. How to measure or define it has been a controversial topic sincebecause of time immemorial.

This essay considers why hapiness is difficult to define adn important factors importan t in achieving hapiness.
Hapiness is difficult to define because it means different things to different people. Some believe hapiness is a feeling, while others believe itsit is achieved by reaching a particular status in society. In fact some people think that it is a religious experience, while others believe itsthat it is your state of mind at a particular time. These diverse opinions on what happiness is makes it difficult to define.

A factor that is key to achieving hapiness is satisfaction. It has nothing to do with your wealth or status in society. It only has to do with contentment. Being satisfied with who you are without caring whose ox is gored.so simple u should rewrite

Many books always agree( whether book can agree? it is an object not a person ) on one fact about hapiness in life, that is being with the right marriage partner. It is generally agreed that being with your "twin flame" is the secret key to unlocking happiness with out measure.

Some other have said finding the right career path is also important in finding happiness in life.
This is because you will spend a great part of it in that chosen career. Some others feel happiness can be achieved by having a sense of the metaphysical. A spiritual realtionship with the unseen God. A lot of testimonies about this experience is documented in literature.

Hapiness is important although some describe it as temporary because they feel it is greatly affected by your circumstance. They recommend that people should look for the more permanent experience called Joy. Joy they say is feeling upbeat regardless of your situation. Whether Joy or happiness, both are experiences worth dying for.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / Non-academic subjects should be removed from school. Agree or not? [6]

hello everybody, i am preparing for ielts. however, my writing skill is very bad, could u help me check my essay and point out my mistakes. thanks so much for your help.

With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school such as physical education, cookery should be removed from syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?


In modern society, most people consider that success in the academy is one of the biggest preparations for the future; therefore, some people think that some non-academic subjects such as art, physical education or cookery should be moved out of curriculum at school. Personally, I disagree with this opinion for several reasons which will be analyzed in this essay.

First of all, learning non-academic subjects brings many benefits for students. Children cannot learn well as well as concentrate on their class if they are not healthy. When they attend physical education class, they can improve their physical and metal (mental) which help them study effectively. Moreover, when they join other non-academic courses such as cookery, they can have time for relaxation and reduce stress, fatigue from studying hard classes like math, chemistry and so on.

Furthermore, some times attending non-academic classes can lead to a successful career. Take my closed (close)friend for an example. When we were students at high school, my close (closed) friend called Tommy was not good at science subjects such as math,(and) physics; thus, he hated them. When he attended physical education courses, he found that he had talents at swimming, and then he decided to take other swimming training courses at (the) local sport center in order to develop his abilities as well as a career in sports. Now,(However) he has succeeded in his career, and he has gained three gold metals in 5 swimming national competitions he took apart. Many thanks to physical education course which helped him make a conscious decision about career.

In conclusion, I definitely believe that both academic and non-academic subjects should be well come (offered) in all schools. Children can acquire many advantages for learning non-academic subjects: getting healthier and some times making a good decision for career.
thinhtvdhtm   
Nov 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / Toefl writing about "agree or disagree" [3]

As the development of the society, gathering number of fields are needed to be used for farming and industrial estate. For the development of economics, people even argued to use the protecting area of the endangered animals. However, they failed to realize that the uses of the protection area, which will, firstly, make the endangered animals losinglose their homes; in addition, harmfulness will it be for people's living environment. Therefore I can hardly assent to the behavior of using the protecting area for farming or industry. The following writing will clarify some of my point of views
thinhtvdhtm   
Oct 25, 2009
Writing Feedback / the time from birth to twelve years is the most important period in life time? [3]

i am preparing for ielts, however, my writing is bad, could u help me check and find out my mistakes? thanks so muc h

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person's childhood years (the time from birth to twelve years of age) are the most important years of a person's life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Some people believe that the most important period in a person's life time is childhood. Personally, I wholeheartedly agree with this pinion because a person's childhood is the time when characteristics create and develop, and during this period, it is easy for a person to acquire and improve his experience and knowledge.

First of all, childhood period is the most essential time for children to form and develop their characteristics and. When a child comes in to the world, he does not know anything surrounding him. When he grows up, people living around him will teach him about the life and help him recognize, differ bad things and good things. I believe that whether or not he becomes a good adult depends on his living environment. If people surrounding him are bad, they behave together in negative ways in daily life and tell him that whatever they do is good and encourage follow them, he will be likely to become a bad man in the future. In contrast, if he grows in good condition: people around him are well educated and behaved, they teach him how to do good thing as well as avoid doing bad thing in the life, it is more likely that he will be a good adult when he is old.

Furthermore, scientists show that the period of a person's life time when he can learn quickest is in this period. From three to five years old is a special time for children to explore the world, and in this period, they can learn language very fast. Scientists also indicate that the numbers of new words a child can learn and remember is much more than an adult does when they learn a foreign language. Consequently, if a child is educated well in this time, he can develop his capabilities and achieve a good background knowledge which is cornerstone for his development in the future.

In a word, the period from the birth to twelve years of age is an essential time in one's life time. In this time, if a child grows in a good condition, he can get not only good characteristics, but he also can achieve important knowledge cornerstone for improve his abilities in the future.
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Oct 25, 2009
Writing Feedback / Eating at Home or at a Restaurant? I prefer HOME [8]

i really love your thesis statement

In addition, when you are eatingeat out you don't aware of the ingredients that you are eating maybe some dirty vegetables or spoiled fruits in your meal, but when you are making the food yourself you are sure that you are eating a healthy food

i think u should write when u eat out, u cannot control the ingredients of dishes