/ Princeton Supplement - answer to quote on extraordinary things in everyday life
I think they all start with the end of a long Canadian winter. After almost six months of snow, slush, and icy roads, it was a way to rip off the scarves, hats, and gloves and celebrate the end of the winter season.
I think you have too many indirect words such as "they" and "it" in your first 3 sentences. It would be nice if the readers can clearly see what they are being referred to. Having those indirect words in a row only confuses readers.
Also in your first paragraph, the 'end of the winter' idea seems too repetitive, although I like all of your descriptions.
in the spring and summer, we would go to these yard sales almost every week, sometimes scrounging for antique artifacts and other times simply curious about what our neighbours keep hidden inside their houses
in the spring and summer, we would go to these yard sales almost every week, sometimes scrounging for antique artifacts and other times to simply find out what our neighbours might have keep hidden inside their houses
the only practice they get is through
the only practice they get was
We weren't as keen to get good deals on ancient artifacts as we were to simply have fun.
A little awkward.. also you used 'simply' in two sentence ago..
how about We were there, more to have fun than to get good deals on ancient artifacts.
I guess it was because our English was not fluent enough, the novelty had worn off, and relocation to a suburban area with fewer neighbours and larger walking distances made house-visits more difficult
I think this would make more sense
Yet, this little tradition still holds a special place in my heart, and I always think back to those yard sale days with a smile.
a run-on sentence
I now realized why I loved the philosophy behind yard sales even as a child - that someone's old, discarded object might still be wanted and cherished by someone else.
connecting two parts with a semicolon (and eliminate that) would be better.
Ultimately, everything has an inherent value, and that is how I see the world.
a run-on sentence..
I revel in the innocence of a baby's smile, the scent of grass and dew in the morning, the laughter of my family and friends.
really touching. :)
just another one of those
hmm.. it doesn't go with the general tone of your essay
Nice essay!! I loved it. very thoughtful..
Will you take a look at my Williams essay? thanks. :)