Undergraduate / U of Maryland Supplements "First Year Book" and "What's your something" [4]

I think my first essay is lacking the flow. Can anyone help me with that?
Any criticism and suggestion is welcomed! Thank you guys!
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Prompt 1: Select your own book for the First Year Book program and tell us why you would want to share it with your classmates in the incoming class. Why does this book have personal meaning to you?

Among all the books I've read, Only the Paranoid Survive by Andy Grove is the one I would like to share with my classmates in the First Year Book program the most.

This book is not as witty as Freakonomics, nor is it as precise as The Worldly Philosophers; however, it restores the intricate and competitive business world, where everyone strives to survive. Through Andy Grove's narration, I see how he adds pressure on himself everyday and forced himself to be efficient; I see how he keeps everything in his office organized and categorized so that he won't be confused by the heavy work, and I see how he sizes up the situation and plans for the future ahead of time. What Andy Grove has been doing depicts that people need to be strict with themselves and keep pushing their boundaries, otherwise they will be eliminated by the increasingly demanding world. Or, using Andy Grove's own words, in a highly competitive society "only the paranoid can survive."

I resonate with this book not only because of my admiration of an eminent business leader but also because of my own experience. When I entered the academy as a freshman, I excelled in math because of the rigorous education I received in China. Several Chinese seniors suggested me to either take a more challenging math course or use my advantage to memorize mathematical vocabularies in class to prepare for the tests. Unfortunately I chose to stay in Algebra 1 and simply spent my time doing homework. In the midterm exam, I didn't get the grade I expected in math, mainly because I didn't recognize the vocabularies and used the wrong methods. Such situation lasted half a year until I was enlightened by Only the Paranoid Survive and finally made up my mind and started challenging myself.

Prompt 2: According to Henry David Thoreau, "One is not born into the world to do everything, but to do something." What is your something?

On July 5, 2010, the Committee for Handling Proposals for the Chinese' Political Consultative Conference submitted a survey to the mayor of Guangzhou, the third largest city and a key transportation hub in China, suggesting that as Guangzhou had become increasingly globalized, the TV programs on major channels should be produced and broadcasted in Mandarin instead of Cantonese. According to the Committee, their recommendation was brought up for the sake of the city's image.

When I heard of this news, I was stricken by helplessness. I was born in Guangzhou, where I played basketball with my friends, tasted the delicious dim-sum, speeded down the labyrinthian lanes, and napped in the leavy parks. While Guangzhou is getting more and more urbanized and industrialized, the concrete play yards, the street side shops, and the aged buildings can only be found in my memories now. As I grow older and come to America for high school, I cherish Cantonese even more, because it is more than a dialect; connecting me and my hometown, it is a vehicle that fills my passions, my remembrances, and my root. Moreover, Cantonese is the backbone of Guangzhou. Guangzhou would have what the other cities in China have--such as the skyscrapers and modern shopping centers--eventually in the future; however, the other cities in China would never have the typical Cantonese parks and the 300-year-old lanes. A city that lost its backbone might still have a chance to thrive, but would simply become a flamboyant copy and soon shrivel in silence without any identity.

Thus for me, regardless of my occupation in the future, protecting the Cantonese culture from being assimilated or even diminished by the process of globalization is something I will devote my life to accomplish.

Undergraduate / "introduced to the world of business" - Carnegie Mellon "Why CMU" essay [4]

Any criticism and suggestion is welcomed! Thank you guys!
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Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know.

As many people from Western countries perceive that Chinese are very sensitive to numbers, I'm not an exception either. Because of the food processing business my family runs, I was introduced to the world of business since I was nine. After I figured out the fundamental arithmetic operations, assisting my mom with the quarter-end closing eventually became my first business experience as well as my first summer job. In addition to the influence from my family, reading relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs further impassion me. The stories of Gordon Moore and Steven Jobs together with The Predictably Irrational delineate an intricate and competitive business world for me. I am therefore inevitably attracted to the intensive business education provided by Tepper School of Business, because business management will be the concentration of my college life.

Among all the opportunities Tepper offers, I'm especially interested in the Undergraduate Business program, the BSBA MBA 3/2 program, and the summer internship opportunities, through which I can lay a solid foundation in advance for not only my Master or Ph.D but also my future career and apply the business principles I learn in class to the real-world consulting projects. I believe that these programs can provide a stage for me to gain practical experience and develop a more comprehensive understanding of the business world. The small size class is another feature that fascinates me. In my mind, the ideal environment for capturing the dynamic of business is a small size class that provides a stage for open-ended discussions among professors and students, where everyone has a chance to express his thoughts and add varieties to the discussions from his own experience or background. In such learning situation, I can exchange ideas with my fellow classmates and my professors freely and efficiently, and be more active exploring the business world.

In addition, I have learned that Professor Milton Cofield is a very involved lecturer and economist, who is known for his understanding of business and international strategic management. I am curious about business administration and the job of a business manager, and always want to systematically learn about how business management helps to optimize a firm's profit and how multinational corporations make decisions. Being such an avid business student, I really covet a chance to take part in the undergraduate research with Professor Milton Cofield and participate in other internship opportunities so I can establish a strong scientific foundation for my future studies while putting the knowledge I gain from my classes into practice in the real life.

As a diligent and passionate student, I am confident that I can benefit the Tepper School of Business while fully taking advantage of the opportunities there. I believe that I am a perfect fit for Carnegie Mellon University and will be honored to represent the school by putting on that maroon T-shirt with Scotty in the middle.

Undergraduate / University of Rochester Combined-admission supplement [3]

Hello guys, I'm applying to University of Rochester. Here are my two supplements.
Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you!
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Essay 1
You have already explained why you are applying to the University of Rochester. Now please elaborate on your interest in and your qualifications for the combined - admission program you selected above in less than 300 words.

As I comprehend, business is a dynamic and flexible system, and I need to be well-rounded in order to catch its flow. I'm therefore inevitably attracted to Rochester's REBS program, because it provides a stage that allows me to access to exclusive events, mentoring, networks and other opportunities with academic and business leaders and encourages me to explore other subjects based on my interests, which in my mind are psychology and sociology. Such liberal combined-admission program can certainly enrich my college life and benefit my future career.

Because of the food processing business my family runs, I was introduced to the world of business since I was nine. Reading relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs, such as The Predictably Irrational and the story of Gordon Moore, further impassions me. In addition, during the four years in high school I've done a good job completing the algebra, calculus, and microeconomics courses while teaching myself statistics. On the other hand, I'm strong at distilling information from reading materials and analyzing my own learning methods, through which I've performed better and better on English and History. In the previous summers, I've not only helped my parents with the quarter-end closing but also worked for a local security company in order to develop a more comprehensive understanding of the business world.

With passion and certain work experience, I am confident that I am a prepared and qualified candidate for the REBS combined-admission program and can infuse new blood into the Rochester community.

Essay 2
Please explore the distinct educational philosophy, area of study, or research project of a faculty member teaching in the graduate program to which you are applying. Tell us why you would enjoy working with this person. Rather than contacting a faculty member, please research the variety of print and online resources available. Limit to 300 words.

I'm always interested in managerial accounting and how the accounting information is used by managers within organizations to provide the basis to make informed business decisions that allow them to be better equipped in their management and control functions. Through research, I've learnt that Professor Jerold Zimmerman is a very involved lecturer as well as researcher, who has a teaching experience on managerial accounting for more than 30 years. Professor Zimmerman has published his articles on various eminent periodicals and magazines, including Journal of Accounting and Economics and Journal of Accounting Research. On the other hand, he has close connections and several joint research with some distinguished universities, such as M.I.T., University of Colorado, and even Hong Kong University, depicting his global influence and vision. Under Professor Zimmerman's direction, I can not only access to richer resources but also connect to a broader network. Moreover, Professor Zimmerman is a member of the Board of Directors of CPAC, Inc., suggesting that he has a deep and comprehensive understanding on managerial accounting and is able to provide a conceptional and practical education on managerial accounting. Professor Zimmerman's "exciting ideas" and "well-organized" teaching style can definitely "lay out the attractiveness of managerial accounting," which is revealed by a students' comments on textbook he wrote, Accounting for Decision Making and Control.

An avid business administration student, I would love to do undergraduate research with Professor Jerold Zimmerman so I can establish a strong scientific foundation and a solid social network for my future studies and career.

Undergraduate / "Why BU" and "What do you want to accomplish in BU" [4]

Hello guys, I'm applying to Boston University. Here are my two supplements.
Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you!
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Short Essay: In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us. (Characters available 750)

In 2008, I accidentally went to BU's PRC Student Exhibit and misinterpreted it as an art show run by BU students from P.R. China. With curiosity, I started browsing BU's website when I got home and was amazed by BU's well-roundedness. Since then, I've visited BU's campus and have been asking for fresh information about BU from my friends who graduated from my high school and enrolled in BU. The more I explore, the more I consider BU a good fit for me because of the Business and Management program provided by Metropolitan College and the Summer Internship opportunities, and the more I see BU encompasses the sole theme of variety. So after watching the Write an Essay that Stands Out video, here I apply.

Essay #1: Given what you know about Boston University, what do you hope to accomplish as an undergraduate here? Please respond in an essay of no more than 500 words.

Among the people that I've talked to, no one doubts that his four years in college is the most juicy and wonderful time of his life. Considering the rich resources and various opportunities provided by BU, I want to accomplish several dreams as an undergraduate as well.

Because of the food processing business my family runs, I was introduced to managerial accounting since I was nine. Helping my parents with their quarter-end closing eventually became my first business experience as well as my first summer job. Spending my leisure to read relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs, such as The Predictably Irrational and the stories of Gordon Moore, further impassions me. I'm therefore inevitably attracted to the BU'S dual degree program in order to receive a master in both business management and psychology. A lot of schools make double-majoring between two colleges almost infeasible; BU, instead, encourages their students to explore various subjects around their interests. I'm confident that by majoring in both business management and psychology, I can develop a more comprehensive understanding of the business world, which is one of the major reasons I choose BU.

Through research, I'm also fascinated by the Auckland Management Internship Program, via which I can apply the business principles I learn in class to the real-world consulting projects while enjoying the natural sceneries in New Zealand.

Speaking of another country, I have to mention the opportunity of studying abroad which is recommended by everyone I know who enroll in BU. I've always regretted for quitting Accelerated Spanish in my senior year, because speaking fluently in Spanish and visiting Barcelona are my dreams. With BU's study abroad program, I can pursue these dreams together quite easily and affordably, while gaining experience by possibly interning in another country.

In addition to business management and studying abroad, I'm looking forward to further accomplishments on painting and guitar. I started painting where years ago and have made quite a progress since then; however, my techniques on oil painting has reached a bottleneck recently. Given BU's rich resources and encouragement of experiencing varieties, I hope that I can increase my paintings' expressive force and have them displayed in the PRC Student Exhibit. On the other hand, the disbandment of my band, The Sillybus, in my junior year is always a pity for me. I wish to reorganize the band and further develop my lead metal guitar techniques in BU.

I believe that my passion can infuse new blood into the community of BU, and BU's intellectual atmosphere can motivate my curiosity and inspire me to accomplish more.

(Please help! I honestly don't know whether or not to insert this paragraph somewhere in Essay 1...
I have learned that professor Ed Barrows is a very involved lecturer and economist. He is known for his understanding of management division and organizational behavior. I always want to systematically learn about how management helps to optimize a firm's profit and how organizations make decisions. Therefore, I really covet a chance to take part in undergraduate research with Professor Ed Barrows and other internship opportunities so I can establish a strong scientific foundation for my future studies while putting the knowledge I gain from class into practice in our real life. )

Undergraduate / "a diligent student as well as a helpful roommate" : Letter to your future roommate [5]

Here's my Babson essay. Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you guys!
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Prompt: Write a letter to your first-year roommate at Babson. Tell him or her what it will be like to live with you, why you chose Babson, and what you are looking forward to the most in college:

Hello My dear roommate,
First and foremost, I would like to congratulate you on becoming a member of and starting a whole new chapter at Babson College, and it's my pleasure to start my college life in such an exemplary community with you.

As you probably know, my name is Yaomin--just like the famous basketball player's. Born and raised in a traditional Chinese family, I'm a relatively quiet person--not a nerd though; basketball and tennis are my all-time favorite sports. I like to enrich myself through experiencing various unfamiliarities, and that's one of the reasons why I come to America. I'm never a night owl or a party animal; to serve myself a cup of tea and to spend some time reading on my comfy bed is much more preferable than swinging my butt in a rave. Also I like to plan before execution. In fact, scheduling everything and getting well-prepared one night ahead has become a habit since I was fifteen.

As many people from Western countries perceive that Chinese are very sensitive to numbers, I'm not an exception either. Because of the food processing business my family runs, I was introduced to the world of business since I was nine. In addition to the influence from my family, reading relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs also inspired me. The stories of Gordon Moore and Steven Jobs together with The Predictably Irrational delineate an intricate and competitive business world for me. No wonder that I am attracted to the intensive business education provided by Babson College since business management will be the concentration of my college life. Among all the programs Babson offers, I'm especially interested in The Management Consulting Field Experience, through which I can apply the business principles I learn in class to the real-world consulting projects. I believe that by putting my competencies into action, I can gain some practical experience and develop a more comprehensive understanding of the business world.

Moreover, I have learned that professor Ed Barrows is a very involved lecturer and economist. He is known for his understanding of management division and organizational behavior. I always want to systematically learn about how management helps to optimize a firm's profit and how organizations make decisions. Therefore, I really covet a chance to take part in undergraduate research with Professor Ed Barrows and other internship opportunities so I can establish a strong scientific foundation for my future studies while putting the knowledge I gain from class into practice in our real life.

With eagerness and passion, I am confident that I will become a diligent student as well as a helpful roommate. I strongly believe that my unique perspective can augment the community and in return, my experiences at Babson will only add to my perspective and help me grow as a student, a roommate, and most importantly, as a person.

I can't wait to start this wonderful journey with you, my friend.
Sincerely,
Yaomin

Undergraduate / "Business & History" - University of Rochester [3]

Hello guys, I'm applying to University of Rochester with RD, aiming their REBS business program. Here are my two supplement essays, each of which need to be less or equal to 150 words according to the requirement.

Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you!
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Prompt 1: The Rochester Curriculum - University of Rochester students enroll with no required subjects as they design their own college path. Write about the subjects and learning situations that interest you most, and how you intend to use your autonomy here.

Business is never an inflexible or rigid subject.Therefore,I'm looking for a learning situation that guarantees my autonomy in learning and allows me to enrich myself by experiencing varieties.Rochester's curriculum,encompassing the sole theme of variety,provides a perfect stage for me:Besides the small class size,Rochester's curriculum and its programs never give me a fixed college path;exploring the variety of the business world is always encouraged.Since my focus in college will be business management,I'm especially interested in the REBS program.In addition to keep reading relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs in my leisure,I'd like to take not only the required subjects but also the allied field courses such as political science and sociology.Moreover,I covet to seek for research and internship opportunities in Rochester,aiming to develop a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of business.

Prompt 2: Meliora: 'Ever better' - The University's motto, Meliora, directs our focus toward continual improvement through research, understanding, and collaborative efforts. Offer and example from your personal experience of an obstacle you faced or a problem you identified. Describe the actions you took and the result.

As an international student,I'm always deterred by history.The confusion of vocabularies and the didactic reading materials constantly frustrated me,no wonder that I could write "George Washington was a virgin(Virginian was the word in my head)" on my freshmen history test.Last year,I decided to confront my weakness in history and improve my reading techniques.Starting with the memorization of the key words on the back of the books,I compared my notes with the in-class quizzes,tried to figure out the concentration of each chapter, and use numbers to label out significant points.Gradually I had not only overcome the difficulties on history but also developed my own way of annotation and learnt to distill important information from reading materials.I'm confident that such techniques will help my infuse new blood into Rochester's community.

Undergraduate / "Business & Political Economy + Global network" - NYU Supplement Essays [7]

Hello guys, I'm applying to NYU with RD, aiming Stern College. Here are my two supplements, each of which need to be less or equal to 250 words according to the requirement.

Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you!
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Prompt 1: Please tell us what led you to select both your anticipated academic area(s) of study and the NYU school / college / program or the Abu Dhabi campus. What interests you most about your intended discipline? Mention any extracurricular or non-school-related activities or experiences that demonstrate your interest.

NYU is a well-rounded university, particularly strong in business and management. I'm therefore consequentially attracted by Stern Undergraduate College and the programs it provides. Because of the business my family runs, I was introduced to the world of business since I was young. After I figured out the fundamental arithmetic operations, assisting my mom with the quarter-end closing eventually became my first business experience as well as my first summer job. Spending my leisure to read relevant books on business management and biographies of successful entrepreneurs also inspired me. The stories of Gordon Moore and Steven Jobs together with The Predictably Irrational delineate an intricate and competitive business world for me. Besides continuing to help my parents with their annual closings in the summer and to read in my free time, my interest in business and economics further sprouts when I start taking AP Economics this year, through which I have a chance to systematically learn the basic knowledge that construct the business world. Since my focus in college will be international trading and business management, I'm especially interested in the Business & Political Economy program provided by Stern College. I believe that I can establish a strong scientific foundation for my future studies while fully taking advantage of the opportunities in NYU.

Prompt 2: NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

NYU's global network campus encompasses the sole theme of variety and provides a perfect stage for me. As an international student, I've been striving to connect and compare the American culture with my own, enriching myself through experiencing various unfamiliarities.

I'm therefore inevitably attracted by NYU's worldwide network and Global Study programs. By studying in New York City, Abu Dhadi, or one of NYU's global sites, I will develop a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of the business and economic landscapes around the world, and be equipped with the skills and perspective necessary to fit in a globalized society. Moreover, business is never a subject that is full of rigid dogmas. It's dynamic, transnational, and flexible. A great thing about NYU and its programs, especially the Business & Political Economy program, is that exploring the variety of the business world is encouraged. Students are encouraged to take part in various activities, participate in various courses, and study in various countries. Such cross-cultural studying in NYU will not only convert me to an open-minded and outgoing future business leader but also equip me to deal with people from different backgrounds and to adjust myself in unfamiliar environments. I believe that by being a member of NYU, I'll become a better fit for both my career after college and the global community.

Undergraduate / Why Not Donate? Chinese millionaires - UChicago Supplement [5]

Prompt: In the interest of adventurous inquiry, pose a question of your own. If your prompt is original and thoughtful, then you should have little trouble writing a great essay. Draw on your best qualities as a writer, thinker, visionary, social critic, sage, citizen of the world, or future citizen of the University of Chicago; take a little risk and have fun.

Any criticism or suggestion will be very appreciated!! Thank you!
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Why Not Donate?

Bill Gates, founder of the Microsoft Corporation, and Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors in the world, have decided to host a dinner, which has already become known as the "Billionaire Banquet," in China on September 29. Aiming to promote the art of charitable donation, Gates and Buffett invited fifty of their recent minted brethren, who are supposed to be the richest of the newly rich in China.

The media that follows every update made by Gates and Buffett, however, takes a dim view of their attempts. Quoting China's most prominent philanthropist, Guang-biao Chen, Fortune magazine stated that only an insufficient number of the wealthy Chinese "'have the right virtues' to donate more to charity." The News Tribune analogously expressed its pessimism in words, "Many rich Chinese prefer to keep low profiles and hide their fortunes for fear of attracting attention. Some have only vague ideas of how best to put their wealth back into society."

Why, then, are the Chinese rich disinterested in Charities?
According to Forbes' World's Richest People and The 21st Century Talent Report, approximately 60% of the Chinese millionaires, who took spots on Forbes' annual list of the global wealthiest from 1999 to 2009, had Bachelor's Degrees; 27.44% of those took MBAs and even PhDs. Educationwise, the majority of the Chinese rich have received at least twelve years of moral education, which is a crucial component besides their own commercial acumen that, at some point, helps them achieve their goals. Businesswise, these people know clearly the affirmative local market effects resulted by charitable donations in a relationship society like China. Socialwise, shaping a benevolent image is conductive to reduce the conflicts between the rich and the poor. Thus, it is oversimplistic to impute the Chinese millionaires and their erroneous "virtues." In fact, Chinese rich's indifference of charities is an outcome of Chinese culture as well as politics.

Stepping on the historical stage, we can see that social injustice and the deficiency of religious beliefs profoundly stimulate people's desire to monopolize their wealth--this is especially true in China after the two devastations, namely the Ten-year Cultural Revolution and the Great Leap. The Cultural Revolution eradicated almost every religion rooted in ancient China such as Confucianism and Taoism, while the Great Leap, a radical and infeasible industrialization movement, released the third horseman and his black horse. Haunted by both meaning and material want, Chinese were forced to live unscrupulously and to alter their traditional ideology, beginning to hoard money, the medium of market exchange, as a universal guarantee.

After such transformation, the motivation of charity grows only from the absolute control of one's properties, which could be interpreted as an encouragement and a commitment to people who donate their possessions. Just like the Chinese proverb says, "Perseverance derives from property." "Property" stands for stable material bases while "perseverance" stands for constant spiritual pursuit. That is, the motivation of charity is tightly related to however much wealth people have control of; the protection over citizens' private properties can farthest release the public's zeal and ambition of creating wealth. Only when the millionaires are granted the absolute control over their fortunes can vast donations be made without worries or uncertainties. After all, the rich wouldn't want to donate all their wealth and send their children to make Kong Pao chicken for living.

Lacking a sense of security furthermore prevents Chinese millionaires from charitable activities. According to Southern Weekly's research on China's newly rich, over half of them thought that enormous wealth brought them "a sense of insecurity" and "annoyance." This anxiety might be brought by their illegal sources of wealth and grey incomes, which, to a great extend, reflects the instability of Chinese wealthy people's fortunes: Under the circumstance of one-party dictatorship, the legality and legitimacy wholly depend on the Communist policies; a mere scrap of paper can enrich as well as impoverish a person. Self-contradictory decisions made by the government steadily consolidate the negative impacts on the newly rich resulted by the ambiguous policies. Hence it is impossible for China's millionaires not to worry about their wealth, which might eventually evaporate in one day.

As approached from this perspective, the "Billionaire Banquet" reflects not only the personalities of the minted Chinese but also the social contradictions between politics and culture, private interests and charitable welfare. Jack Ma, CEO of the Alibaba Group, distinguished entrepreneurs from packmen in 2005 Fortune Forum: "entrepreneurs (should) shift their attentions away from money itself and aim to achieve certain social values with a sense of mission." Despite the rosy prospect Ma illustrated, without the change in ideology, the absolute control over their lucre and the confidence of the governing party, rich people in China will never gain a sense of security. Consequently, monopolizing their own wealth and elbowing aside the charitable activities will still be the most judicious choice.

Undergraduate / "Know how to ask "why" and "how" rather than "what." - Why UChicago? [6]

Prompt: Why do you think that UChicago is a good match for you?
Any feedback will be appreciated! Thank you!
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"Let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched"--this motto of University of Chicago embodies the concept of thinking, transforming, and thriving that I have been pursuing during high school and which I anticipate to experience in college. While the students in UChicago focus on critical thinking and academic communication, they also attach importance to extracurricular activities. Echoing the school motto, this intellectual, engaged, and ethnically varied student body learns how to balance its academic commitments and outdoor challenges, brewing the liberal Chicago School and the diverse club and intramural sports culture. This is the major reason why I am attracted by UChicago.

The house and advisory systems of UChicago also fascinate me. The distinctive house system would allow me to experience an intimate family life in the enormous campus, letting me make new friends more quickly and blend in the new collectivity more smoothly. While the house system serves as a coherent "home base" that helps students to extend their social life, the advisory system serves as a comprehensive consultant. Advisors who follow the students for four years are providing not only academic enlightenments but also parental care; they would be mentors as well as friends, which I, as an international student, really appreciate.

My consideration for choosing UChicago includes not only the quality of my four undergraduate years but also my postgraduate goals. Besides the education from UChicago's top notch faculty and small-sized classes, I will be equipped by the university's educational goal: know how to ask "why" and "how" rather than "what." Furthermore, UChicago encourages students to take various courses; these crossovers among different subjects would help me build the ability to make logical arguments, to communicate effectively, and to make rational decisions.

With all the opportunities UChicago offers its students, I would try as I may to reward the community. Having had such learning and serving experience as the UNC Economic Summer Program, the China-Japan Calligraphy Competition, and Boston Marathon, I feel that I can make a positive impact within the community, and I would like to continue both my academic commitments and extracurricular hobbies in the Gothic campus of UChicago.

Undergraduate / Common App Significant Experience: "Salvation" [4]

Prompt: Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

Any feedback will be appreciated! Thank you!
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On July 5, 2010, the Committee for Handling Proposals for the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference submitted a survey to the mayor of Guangzhou, the third largest city and a key transportation hub in China, suggesting that as Guangzhou had become increasingly international, the TV programs on major channels should be produced and broadcasted in Mandarin instead of Cantonese. According to the Committee, their recommendation was brought up for the sake of the city's image and the upcoming Asian Games, which will be held in Guangzhou in mid-November.

When I heard of this news, I was stricken by helplessness. I was born in Guangzhou, where I played basketball with my friends, tasted the delicious dim-sum, speeded down the labyrinthian lanes, and napped in the leavy parks. While Guangzhou is getting more and more urbanized and industrialized, the concrete play yards, the street side shops, and the aged buildings can only be found in our memories now. As I grow older and have come to the States for high school, I cherish Cantonese even more, because it is more than a dialect, connecting me and my hometown; it is a vehicle that fills my passions, my remembrances, and my roots.

Inspired not by a political but a personal motivation, I knew that I needed to do something.
By means of searche engines, I discovered a Chinese social network group called "Protect Cantonese," and soon got acquainted with the promoters and some of the members in the group due to their similar life experiences in Guangzhou. Since I am a painter and a guitar soloist, I volunteered to help design the protest slogans and posters and pick several songs sung in Cantonese that could embody our ideas. In addition, I went on different Chinese internet forums to inform and organize people for the forthcoming activities.

On July 28, two days after I went back to Guangzhou from America, I immediately jumped in a unique march organized by the "Protect Cantonese" group. Considering the fact that protest is prohibited in mainland China, we decided to demonstrate our will in a more moderate and harmonious way. With the slogans set up and the posters pasted on, we circled around in front of the prosperous People's Park and began to sing Cantonese songs. As we were getting increasingly enthusiastic, more and more people joined in the circle and sang out their zeal. Looking at people's faces--some were naive and some were wrinkly; listening to their voices--some were clear and some were deep; tasting swinging with the melody of the song, War of Resistance Against Aggression written by a Chinese band called Beyond, we sang: "Wherever I go/My origin will always be engraved on my mind." I couldn't help but grinned and let my tear dropped: To become international, Guangzhou must also learn to be tolerant. Be tolerant to the immigrants; be tolerant to the exotic cultures values; be tolerant to its indigenous language and strong backbone--Cantonese. Guangzhou would have what the other cities in China have--such as skyscrapers and modern shopping centers--eventually in the future; however, the other cities in China would never have the typical Cantonese parks and the 300-year-old lanes. A city that lost its backbone might still have a chance to thrive, but would simply become a flamboyant copy and soon shrivel in silence without any identity. Fortunately, the residents in Guangzhou gave me faith and convinced me that Cantonese wouldn't be replaced, and Cantonese culture would never fade away.

Although my schedule in July was intensely busy and tiring on account of the "Protect Cantonese" activities, I'd seen and sensed a lot from this experience, through which I improved my leadership, organizational capability, and critical thinking. I would have still held a passive and indifferent attitude towards life, had I not made up my mind to save what I cherished. I wouldn't have met a group of like-minded friends via the "Protect Cantonese" network, had I spoiled my summer playing video games at home. It is fortunate that I have done something to help foster Cantonese, because it is not only a salvation of the soul of Guangzhou but also a salvation for me.