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Posts by Geenesh
Joined: Jun 13, 2011
Last Post: Oct 2, 2011
Threads: 21
Posts: 29  

From: Malaysia

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Geenesh   
Oct 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / ielts - should people be forced to stop working? [5]

hi den.. i actually checked it in oxford dictionary about the meaning of it.. here it is : to decide or agree to stop doing
eg : after forty years in politics i think it is time for me to call it a day ( = to retire )
the example is directly from the dictionary ... but i agree maybe it is not suitable to be used in essay as it is informal.. thanks for pointing it out for me :)
Geenesh   
Sep 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / ielts - should people be forced to stop working? [5]

People should be allowed to continue to work for as long as they want to, and not forced to retire at a particular age such as 60 or 65. Do you agree or disagree?

The appropriate age at which a person should stop working is now a much debated issue in the society. Some opine that people should be given the option to choose when they want to call it a day while others oppose this notion. In my personal point of view, the right age for a person to retire should be around 60 years old. I, for one, strongly agree that age should be set as a criterion for people to retire at the aforementioned age due to several reasons that I shall discuss below.

First and foremost, if senior workers dominate the working sector, there will be lesser job opportunities for the fresh graduates. As a result, most of them will be forced to take up careers which are poles apart from what they had studied for. To illustrate this further, a medical graduate might find it very disheartened when he had to spend around five precious years studying medicine and at the end of the day, he will have to take up another profession rather than doctor due to the insufficient job opportunities available. On top of that, due to the lack of genuine passion on the work which was not of their option, there is a greater possibility for their performance standard to dwindle at their workplace.

Apart from that, not all elderly workers are physically well. Beyond that age, a large proportion of them have an elevated chance of contracting a multitude of health problems such as stress related diseases and cardiovascular illnesses. To cite an example, the stressful life that an aged teacher goes through will definitely take a toll on him. Consequently, they will not be able to give their best in whatever they are doing. Besides, the academic institution will have to pay for his medical bills, resulting in more loss for the institution. Thus, it would indeed be better if at an older age, opportunities are given to the younger ones.

Admittedly, the expertise of the senior workers who had retired should never be underestimated. Their invaluable experiences and knowledge in their respective fields such as engineering, medicine, and law can certainly be beneficial to the younger generation. Hence, it is highly recommended that the retiree come over to the companies or hospitals to have regular sessions with the present staffs to bridge the gap between them and to pass on their knowledge.

In conclusion, it is indeed evident that age limit should be set for retirement. There will come a certain time when the older generation should hand over the responsibility to the fresh comers who are certainly waiting to be given a choice to prove themselves. After all, retirement not only marks the end of an individual, but also gives him a chance to make up for what he has lost throughout his working life.
Geenesh   
Sep 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS LETTER> REPLYING A COMPLAINT ABOUT NOISE [2]

I am writing to you to reply your letter REGARDING THE COMPLAINT YOU HAVE MADE about the noise from my flat.

To explain the reasons for the noise, I want to say that it was DUE TO my wife accidentally BREAKING our wooden bed. Hence, I had to fix it. Since it was a SERIOUS PROBLEM and I really HAD NO OTHER CHOICE AS I WAS workING DURING THE DAY, I had to do it at that night. I understand that the extremely loud noise from the hammer could have annoyed you so much and I apologize for that. I promise it wILL NOT happen again because if the bed BREAKS again I will let a professional carpenter do the job DURING THE daytime so THAT IT WILL NOT disturb again.

My wife has suggested that we could have a barbecue at the park nearby this Sunday, so why NOT you come and enjoy the meal with us?

We ARE CERTAINLY LOOKING forward to seeing all of you AT the party.

Respectfully yours,

Den
Geenesh   
Sep 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - positive aspects and drawbacks when children engage themselves in work [3]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions?

Those days whereby only adults involve themselves in the working sector were gone. Today, even children go to work and this especially true in some countries like China and India. However, many opine that this is not the right time for them to work as they are still young for that. On the other hand, some do also argue that working can provide numerous precious experiences for children. I, for one believe that there are both positive aspects and drawbacks when children engage themselves in work.

First and foremost, through working, undeniably children will be able to learn the importance of money in everyday life. It will dawn upon them that to earn a sum of money, a lot of hard work must be invested into it. Apart from that, there are other essential characteristics that children can learn through working such as co-operation as they will have to work with various people with different perspectives and time management skills. All these values can definitely benefit them in studies or in future careers.

Looking from the other perspective, if a child is involved in a paid work at such an early stage of life for example like 15 or so, they may grow up money-minded. Hence, there is a higher chance for them to deviate from studies and involve in working full-time. This was what happened to a shopkeeper at my residential area. As he worked part - time to generate extra income for his family, he felt that it made him earn more compared to studying. As a consequence, he has now opened a shop and is running it with little success. On top of all, the studies of the child can be affected if he works. This is because he would be exhausted after work and thus might not have sufficient time to spend on his studies. As a result, there may be a decline in his achievement in studies.

In my opinion, I think it is certainly not wrong for a child to work. Nevertheless, he should know his limits and therefore, balance it appropriately with his studies and work. He must ensure that his studies are not affected by his work, as of course at this age, education should be the priority compared to engaging in some kind of paid work. Perhaps, instead of working during the school period, children can do so during their long holidays so that their studies will not be disturbed.

To conclude, working is undoubtedly advantageous to children. Nonetheless, there are some negative aspects of it that is certainly preventable. A little problem will surely not diminish the benefits that working has to offer to the children.
Geenesh   
Sep 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1: Avg daily milk consumption [3]

This graph depicts THE average daily consumption of milk beverage product, based on VARIOUS age groups in Canada. The overall trend presents a negative development AS THE AGE INCREASES.

INITIALLY THERE IS a significant drop IN THE NUMBER OF MILK CONSUMERS OF ABOUT 18-25 YEARS OLD. IT PLUMMETED from an average of 510 milliliters daily intake TO less than A half of this figure consumed by the middle-aged adult, around 36 to 45 years old.

The amount of consuming milk-related drinks then ALMOST MAINTAIN a plateau AT ABOUT 200 milliliters taken by CONSUMERS AGED between 36 AND 59. The trend then appears a more significant shrink of daily milk beverage product consumed by those elderly people who are at least 60 years old. ( THE AMOUNT OF MILK CONSUMED BY THE ELDERLY PEOPLE WAS THE LEAST COMPARED TO ALL WHICH WAS ABOUT ... )

-I M NOT THAT GOOD TO RATE YOU.. HOWEVER CERTAINLY YOU CAN IMPROVE URSELF ... GOOD LUCK !
Geenesh   
Sep 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / ielts - pointless to keep traditional skills alive ? [2]

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is certainly irrefutable that today there has been numerous advancements in technology. This includes progress in agriculture, infrastructure, research and a host of other essential sectors. Undeniably, these not only have changed us but also have benefited us tremendously in many ways. Indeed, our lifestyles these days are different from that of our ancestors. Therefore, some feel that, as the technology of a country develops, there is no point practising the traditional skills. However, I agree to this statement only to a certain extent as I shall discuss the reasons below.

First and foremost, there are some skills that we can neglect at this modern age. To illustrate this further, today there is an equipment called sewing machine. Hence, what is the point of continue using the traditional way of sewing clothes when there is an easier and a more convenient choice? Besides that, sewing is definitely less time consuming with a sewing machine. Apart of that, I am sure that other equipment such as blender, fan, and an array of other electrical items has indeed made human life seem comfortable.

Looking from the other perspective, it would be wrong to completely deny the importance of traditional skills and ways of life in our everyday life. In my opinion, certain aspects are worth practising. To cite an example, a day prior to Chinese New Year, family members will meet to have dinner together. This momentous event is surely essential as it strengthens the bonds among the family. Small activities like this must be preserved and passed on to our future generations so that they realize the richness of our culture.

From my perspective, it is pivotal that we have a balance between the use of the technology and traditional methods. Ways of life practised by our forefathers that are advantageous to us should be kept alive. On the other hand, if they are not that advantageous and consumes a lot of time and energy, then it is certainly better to switch to the tools that make our life trouble-free. A successful person in my opinion is an individual who knows the ways to suit himself according to the situation.

To conclude, traditional skills can be beneficial at times. It is inappropriate to say that they should be forgotten just because we have new and modern technologies emerging every day. Thus, let us keep put into practice both relevant traditional skills and ways of life and also at the same time take advantage of the technology available.
Geenesh   
Sep 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / ielts - what should the government do to make the country more successful [2]

What should a government do for a country to become successful?

Most countries these days are not very successful. This is due to the governments of the respective countries fail to carry out effective solutions to enable their countries to shine among the others. In my opinion, there are numerous solutions that can be executed by the governments in ensuring the success of their nations.

First and foremost, it is undeniable that the freedom to choose is one the basic needs of a man. Without it, a man cannot function in the way he is designed to be. Hence, the government must provide its citizens with rights of freedom for example to choose their own rulers provided that they have their limitations. This is the reason people in most democratic countries like Malaysia are able to live comfortably and make a difference to the world. On the other hand, in communist countries where freedom is curtailed, people are not able to live a peaceful and safe life.

On top of all, I believe that the government should provide good education to all its citizen. Teenagers today are the leaders of tomorrow. Hence, if they are exposed to proper education, they will be able to rule the country in a sensible manner. Not only that, a calibred and dedicated leader will always look after his fellow people and will ensure that he does everything and anything that will enable his nation to prosper. To cite an example, Barrack Obama who is a well-educated and a committed man, is now working hard in order to bring up his country.

Besides that, in terms of social aspect, the government should also provide sufficient amenities and infrastructures to the people of the nation so that they will be able to lead a comfortable and convinient life. In addition, I think that the natural resources in the nation should also be used wisely to prevent the depletion of those valueable resources. Not only that, if the government is able to determine and invest in lucrative fields and obtain good income in return, the money can be used for the well being of the citizens. For instance, to build more companies to provide job opportunities, to conduct researches to find cure for certain diseases and so on.

To conclude, it is certainly not an easy task to make a nation progress and flourish in a short period of time. However,I believe that nothing is impossible and if strong efforts are taken, I am sure that eventually, any nations will be successful as for changes to occur, changes must be made.
Geenesh   
Sep 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-Is Money the most important aspect of a job? [9]

People should consider an occupation that they are passionate ABOUT in order to avoid an insipid life.

Assuming that the average working hours for most workers is eight hours per day, which means that, before retiring, these workers may spend one-third of their time working,...

MORE SUGGESTIONS .. why dont try using more connectors? they can link your points more effectively and make ur essay better :)
Geenesh   
Sep 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY - GOVERNMENT SUPPORTING ARTISTS [3]

Some people think that the government should provide assistance to all kinds of artists including painters, musicians and poets, etc. However, other people think that is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is certainly undeniable that life of many are made appealing with the presence of Arts such as music, dance, and paintings. This is one of the chief reasons the society opine that the government should fund all the artists in their respective fields. I do agree to this opinion only to a certain degree as i feel that there are both positive and negative implications if the above suggestion is carried out.

First and foremost, the contributions of various artists to the society is indeed pivotal and hence, the government should take the initiative to support them. This is because, through Arts, one's creativity, views and personalities are revealed. Moreover, these aspects benefit not only the artist himself, but also his country. Take for instance the great Leonardo Da Vinci who had produced numerous magnificent and splendid masterpiece. He brought fame to his birthplace, Italy when many flock in order to witness on their own his creations. Apart from that, at the end of the day, it is Arts that provide us entertainment after a whole day of work or study.

Looking from another perspective, there are other essential fields that are either still new or waiting to be explored such as in the research sector. Research can be conducted in order to figure out the right vaccine to cure diseases that do not have any cures till now like the Dengue or AIDS. On top from that, instead of spending money on the Arts, the government can use it for more vital purposes such as to improve the nation's health and well being. Not only that, serious predicaments for instance homelessness, unemployment and illiteracy deserve to be given more attention compared to the Arts.

In my opinion, i feel that finally it all depends on the condition of a particular country. In developed countries like the United Kingdom and Australia which are well known not only for their gigantic economics but also for their generously- proportioned citizens who are well educated, the government can fund the Arts sector. On the other hand, in poor countries such as Somalia and Ethiopia where there are people dying of starvation and other diseases as well as lacking of education, other aspects comprised of education and health matters should be given priority.

To conclude, it is now evident that artists should be supported by the government. Well, if it is not the government which supports their own citizens, then who will? However, it is dependent on the ability of the countries.
Geenesh   
Sep 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - QUALITIES A PERSON NEED TO BE SUCCESSFUL [2]

The qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's modern and competitive society, it is undeniable that we must equip ourselves with plenty of knowledge and skills in order to shine and to be successful in life. Many opine that the aforementioned aspects are mostly obtained through learning in academic institutions. I do agree to that opinion to a certain degree. Nevertheless, I feel that one can also shine without even having to attend universities.

First and foremost, it is certainly true that university education is of paramount importance for certain professions such as doctor, engineer and lawyer. Without proper training and knowledge, it would be impossible for them to perform their best in their careers. Not only that, when they are in a university, they will have the opportunity to share their knowledge as well as to network for business associates and partners. This can benefit them in future when they intend to open up their own companies or hospitals.

Looking from another perspective, there are also a significant number of people who are very successful in their fields without going to university. Take for instance those who start their own business. These people depend solely on hard work and luck. Interestingly, for some of them it proved to be a profitable job. To cite an example, Michael Dell who is the founder and the CEO of Dell left college at 19. Initially, he started his computer company in his college dorm room. Eventually, he used his earnings as well as his family's loan in order to progress to be who he is now.

In addition, people with natural talents are also most likely to excel in their life. This is especially true in sectors like entertainment and sports. The introduction of increasing number of reality shows have made it possible for all those lucky ones to triumph. To illustrate this further, David Archuleta who was once a nobody has now taken up a large space in hearts of many. Hence, it is evident that individuals born with talents have also a high chance to be successful.

To wrap it all up, it is indeed true that university education is pivotal in a person's life in order for one to prosper. However, it would be wrong to say that one's success completely depends on the education he or she receives at the institutions. Natural talent and hard work also contribute to their progress.
Geenesh   
Sep 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods(agree/disagree) [2]

if you are writing IELTS essay, i think in your introduction, u should state to what extent do you agree with the topic given, then u can proceed to the body.

and also it is advisable to write five short paragraphs, one intro, three body paragraphs, n one conclusion. have ur refutation point at your fourth paragraph b4 the conclusion

:)
Geenesh   
Aug 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY- JURY MUST HAVE ACCESS TO CRIMINALS PAST RECORDS [NEW]

Under British and Australian laws, a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a well known fact that a jury involved in a case has no information regarding the criminal's past illegal acts under the British and Australian laws. There are few of those who are concerned think the current practice should be altered and that the juries should at least know something about the criminals before coming to a conclusion. I, for one, agree to this resolution whole-heartedly as it poses advantages to various parties as I shall discuss below.

First and foremost, I believe that it would be easier for the juries to make a decision if they know about the past information about the criminal. This is because, knowing their background very well will enable the juries to analyze the crime before coming up with a judgment. For instance, take a person who has not murdered anyone but is suddenly found to be guilty. The juries will be able to know weather the individual committed the crime intentionally or due to circumstances by knowing the facts about the person. Then, punishment can be given in accordance to the condition.

Apart from that, a fair trial can be achieved. As all of us know, juries are a group of people who have no or less knowledge regarding law. Thus, exposing them to the past records of the criminal can give them more room to think rationally and finally put the pieces together in order to produce a more meaningful decision. By doing so, the juries will have a sense of relief that they have come up with better conclusion based on plenty of evidences. Not only that, the convicted will also receive a fair action.

It is undeniable that when the background of the convicted is 'dug' deeper and is revealed to mass of anonymous people, his privacy is being jeopardized. If finally he is proven innocent, he may feel embarrassed to face the public. However, I am sure that the crimes done by criminals should be brought to light and the public should be aware of it so that they will not become a victim as well.

To conclude, I definitely feel that the current way of the juries judging the case should be transformed and they should know the facts about the criminals they are dealing with. This is of paramount importance so that they will be able to give a better and reliable as well as a fair judgment to the convicted. Beneficial changes will certainly take place if changes are made because for a change to happen, changes have to be done.
Geenesh   
Aug 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - solving crime through attacking the causes of crime [2]

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

The rate of crime in today's society is on the rise day by day. News related to delinquencies is seen in newspapers and media almost daily. Thus, many opine that comprehensive actions should be taken in order to minimize the number of crimes taking place, which includes looking into the causes of those misconducts instead of having more police and jailing those who commit crimes. I agree to this solution only to a certain degree as there are obviously more effective ways to reduce the problem.

First and foremost, it is undeniable that most people commit negative activities due to them being in dire need of money to sustain their lives. Examples of those offenses are such as being snatch thieves, robbing, and killing for money. If only they had a proper job to earn a living, I am sure that they will not go to the extent of hurting others to get money. Apart from that, by providing each citizen with equal opportunities of education, everyone will be educated. As a result, they will be rational enough not to commit those crimes.

In addition, increasing the number of police on the street alone is not sufficient. They must go on patrol more frequently than they used to. Consequently, people will not be bold enough to commit crimes as they know very well that they will be caught and punished. Besides, I feel that the government should come up with stricter laws so that the public will be afraid of committing crimes. For example, those who are caught red handed selling and distributing drugs will have to pay a large sum of money like RM 1,000 000 and also will be canned 30 times. Definitely, dreading these kinds of punishments, people will not want get involved in crimes.

However, looking at the other perspective, some people may think that by just giving the public equal education chances, providing jobs and implementing stricter rules, crime cannot be effectively reduced. Well, in my opinion, if everything is carried out consistently with a lot of effort put into it, certainly the aim of diminishing the number of crime can be achieved. Maybe it will not bring about zero crime, but we may expect some changes to take place as for changes to happen, changes must be done.

To conclude, I do agree that in order to trim down the number of crimes that is occurring, the main source of the problem should be looked into. Solutions to combat the root of the problem coupled with other methods such as police going on rounds more often as well as imposing stringent regulations will surely help to keep the level of crimes low. It is always no harm in trying out new ways in order to solve an existing, perennial predicament especially if previous solutions do not work as effective as expected.
Geenesh   
Aug 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / The best way to educate primary school children? [8]

For me, I would prefer the latter, and THIS is because of THE three MAIN reasons WHICH ARE LEARNING THROUGH THIS WAY is less boring AND IS faster AS WELL AS IT CONSUMES least effort.

Firstly, when students play, they learn a lot of things (ex. social interaction) apart ...
- MAYBE U CAN USE FIRST AND FOREMOST OR FIRST OF ALL INSTEAD OF JUST FIRSTLY
- THEN, TRY TO JUST WRITE DOWN WAT U FEEL AND NOT IN BRACKETS - THEY LEARN A LOT OF THINGS SUCH AS SOCIAL INTERACTING...

UR THIRD PARAGRAPH HAS ONLY ONE SENTENCE. TRY NOT TO FINISH A PRAGRAPH WITH ONLI ONE SENTENCE. IT WOULD BE NICE IF U HAVE A TOPIC SENTENCE, SUPPORTING DETAILS, EXAMPLE AND A SHORT CONCLUSION FOR EACH PARAGRAPH.

PUNCTUATION IS IMPORTANT IN ESSAYS BUT I FEEL U HAVE A LOT IN UR ESSAY. TRY TO USE THEM APPROPRIATELY

GOOD LUCK :)
Geenesh   
Jul 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / ielts essay - ways of reducing traffic conditions [4]

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is certainly undeniable that traffic in cities today is deteriorating compared to previous times. This is clearly evident with the increasing number of vehicles on the roads resulting in long commuting hours. Some argue that this this due to people travelling from home to workplace, school or to other destinations like the shopping malls. They believe that by minimising the need for them to travel to such places, amount of traffic can be reduced. However, I agree to this solution only to a certain extent as there are better alternatives such as using the public transport and carpooling to trim down the traffic.

First and foremost, people can help to minimise traffic by reducing their travels outdoors. With the advent of the technology, Internet can be used for various purposes. Businessman can now carry out online-based trading and work from the comfort of their houses. Furthermore, students can communicate with their lecturers and classmates using messengers like Yahoo Messenger and Skype. Apart from that, through websites such as e-Bay, shoppers can purchase almost whatever they need from home. Hence, nowadays virtually everything can be done from home, thus reducing the need to travel to the required place.

Nevertheless, the aforementioned solution is not the only effective one that is available. People can use public transport more often than using their own private vehicles. Besides that, employees and students who are going to the same destinations can always car practise carpooling. On one hand, this will help to improve the traffic conditions on the road while on the other hand, since lesser vehicles are used, air pollution is also reduced.

Looking from another perspective, definitely there are certain drawbacks when people work from home. First of all, workers or students might not be as responsible as they can be when they attend work or classes respectively. This is because, when they are at home, they can start working or studying whenever they like. Consequently, they might end up being unreliable. On top of that, not all houses have access to the Internet. As such, people will have travel than to complete the task at home.

In short, it is clear that working indoors is not the only effective solution. There are also better ways such as carpooling and using the public transportation frequently. Although the former solution has some negative aspects, I believe that they can be avoided. If only each of us are able to contribute our parts, the amount of traffic can certainly be reduced.
Geenesh   
Jul 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS> THE PROS AND CONS OF ANIMAL TESTING [4]

naruto i see that u always help other friends to correct their essay well.. of course u will come up with a good essay.. i will just give my opinions and if m wrong, do correct me..

- animal rights

-Whether animal testing should be banned or not is still being debated by many. (i think people can be omitted here)

-First, the critics of the idea of using animals in testing medicines argue that animals (i took out non-human)are living organisms like humans and (they share the same place with us to live) also they share the same place to live with humanity, so they should be considered as non-human persons and members of the moral community.

-therefore, animal testing is argued to have great disadvantages on both humans and animals.

-.... very important role IN many fields of researching. These supporters rely on the fact that virtually every discovery in the 20th century is A RESULT OF animal testing and thousands of lives have been protected from dangerous diseases by medicines which were tested on animals.

In conclusion, although animal testing has (USE EITHER ONE) several / certain drawbacks, it is believed to bring undeniably important benefits to humanity. ( i would say : in conclusion, although animal testing has certain drawbacks, it brings tremendous benefits to humanity)

It is hoped that there will be more awareness about the lives of animals to protect them from illegal hunting and being poorly treated.
(since this has nothing to do with the topic being discussed which is animal testing, perhaps u can omit it. its like u r introducing new points)
Geenesh   
Jul 15, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY - FREEDOM TO EXPRESS IDEAS; '3 Idiots' [6]

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, picture, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Artists in most countries are given the freedom to express their thoughts in whatever they do. Nevertheless, some argue that there should be government restrictions in order to limit their opinions. I however, agree to this only to a certain extent and believe that the artists must be given freedom so that they will produce some really marvelous masterpiece.

First and foremost, if there is control over artists' ideas, they will definitely lose their sense of creativity in the long run. It is undeniable that when they are given the opportunity to express themselves, most artists will think out of the box and come up with spectacular Arts such as paintings or movies. For example, paintings by Da Vinci and Michallengo are admired even till now as they were not restricted during those times. In short, without any limitations, there will be more awe inspiring work from our artists.

Furthermore, it is every human's right to be able to voice out their opinions in any ways as long as they do not cause any problems to the nation. Today, many countries make numerous efforts to show that they are democratic countries. Arts is one of the ways that can be used to criticise social problems and government policies in a particular country. To illustrate this further, the famous movie '3 Idiots' acted by Amir Khan criticises the education system which is chiefly based on memorising and not being able to apply whatever the students learn. Thus, human rights is violated if artists are not allowed to express their feelings freely.

Looking from another perspective, there are certain drawbacks if artists are not restricted. They might go deeper into certain aspects that can cause controversies in a country. To cite an example, Malaysia is a multiracial country whereby all the citizens live together in harmony and peace. In case there is anyone who brings up some sensitive issues in their films or books regarding any races, this might end up in some chaos among the society. Nonetheless, I believe that artists know their boundaries very well and would surely do not want their names tarnished just because of their unscrupulous acts.

To conclude, it is now evident that there should not be any restrictions on artists' work. Allowing them to think freely will give them an opportunity to express themselves as ideas can naturally flow when there are no limitations. Hence, even though freedom to express ideas can bring some negative effects, I certainly believe that there are many wonderful and beautiful Arts due to the freedom to express ideas and thus, I strongly believe there should be no restrictions on them.
Geenesh   
Jul 15, 2011
Essays / CREATIVE WRITING COMPETITION (how to write a good creative essay?) [4]

mayb u can use transitions in ur essay... it will have a smooth flow...

then u can use synonyms to replace the same word...
but it does not mean u have touse bombastic words..
but just use suitable n appropriate words.. that would be sufficient..

hope it helps ..
all the best !!!
Geenesh   
Jul 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / "studying in overseas" - IS IT GOOD TO STUDY ABROAD ? [3]

Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulty students inevitably encounters living and studying in different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many would be definitely be glad at the thought of being able to pursue their tertiary education abroad. Nevertheless, some argue that it is not good studying in overseas universities as the cultures of the students and the country they go to are dissimilar and this might pose some problems to them. While I admit to the aforementioned statement, I feel that there are plenty of benefits like being able to be independent and having the opportunity to get to know the cultures of other countries if students study in overseas.

First of all, when one studies abroad, he will have to stand on his own feet. Hence, this will inculcate responsibility in him. To illustrate this further, my brother who is currently studying in Russia who previously did not know how to cook, is now a deft hand in cooking. He learnt cooking due to the limited choices of food that was available in Russia when he first went there. Thus, students studying in overseas will be able to look after themselves as all their chores and tasks have to be done by them and this makes them more responsible.

Furthermore, indubitably, when students are in other countries apart from their own nations, they are exposed to the way of life in the place they are. Therefore, this serves as a great chance for them to explore and know in depth about the cultures and traditions of the citizens. For example, they can get more information about the traditional costumes and cuisines apart from the historical places found in the country. Moreover, they can also learn the language of the respective countries they go to in order to communicate with their people. Undoubtedly, this process of learning is much more appealing compared to knowing them from someone and by reading from any sources.

Looking from another perspective, I do agree some students feel homesick if they stay away from family and home for a very long time. My cousin who left to New Zealand to study medicine could not cope alone and frequently fall sick due to missing her family here. Somehow, now she managed to get admission into a local university and is presently happy here. Nonetheless, I feel that this is certainly a small matter and can surely be overcome. Parents should encourage their children to participate in more outdoor activities like camping that requires them to stay away from home for some time. By so doing, students can get used to being away from home.

In conclusion, studying in overseas has both advantages and some drawbacks. However, it is evident that the merits outweigh the disadvantages and proves that it is actually good to study abroad as students can gain vast knowledge and experiences as well as will be able to be more responsible and independent. Since experience is the best teacher, students must keep away the fear of being alone in a new place and take the challenge to study abroad.
Geenesh   
Jul 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / Academic writing Ielts: Effects of globalization [5]

However, everything has ITS bad side and globalization is OF no exception

...globalization IS changing the world as a whole in a positive way

I strongly recommend that THE governments of countries all around the world should carefully consider my anlysis on globalizaiton to make appropriate policies in this new era

- I THINK ITS COOL.. GOOD LUCK !
Geenesh   
Jul 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL writing - Are parents best teachers? Yes, they are. [7]

First, PARENT TEACH THEIR children ALL THE basic things which HAVE AN IMPACT ON THEIR LIFE.

Second, parents train their child ON how to become a good person.

They always make SURE THAT their children THANK AND APOLOGISE in the right way.

This seems to be easy but this HAS A HUGE IMPACT ON THE FUTURE OF their future children and makes children's behavior better before they face the real world.

Third, it is clear that parents who LOVE their children most and always take GOOD care of their children.

INSTEAD OF USING FIRST, SECOND, THIRD, WHY DONT YOU USE TRANSITIONS LIKE FURTHERMORE, MOREOVER, APART FROM THAT... IT WILL MAKE UR ESSAY BETTER
Geenesh   
Jul 3, 2011
Writing Feedback / Giving mobile phones to the unemployed (IELTS ESSAY) [6]

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using the public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, the rate of unemployment is on the rise and is seriously being debated by many. Some opine that the best method to minimize this problem is by providing the unemployed with hand phones that have access to the Internet. They also believe that this solution is the most appropriate way to utilize the public money. Nevertheless, I agree to this solution only to a certain degree because I feel that giving those with no work a mobile phone each is a total waste of money.

In a positive point of view, when people without jobs have hand phones that have access to the Internet, they will be able to browse the net for more job opportunities. For example, they can surf the The Star Onlines' work section to find a job that is suitable for them. With the help of the net, they can also do more research on the work that they have found apart from looking up on how they can prepare themselves for the job. Not only that, the mobile phones can also be used to make calls with the companies in which they would like to work with. In short, if the government provides those without work with a mobile phone, they will be able to find themselves an occupation in order to live and survive.

Nonetheless, looking from another perspective, supplying hand phones to the unemployed is a waste of the taxpayers' money. This is because the money instead of being used to supply the electronic gadget can be used for other useful purposes for the country. To illustrate this further, the money can be used to build more amenities for the public or given to the poor so that they can use it to help them earn a living. To conclude, the money can be used for other intentions rather than giving hand phones to the unemployed.

Furthermore, when hand phones are provided for free, many would want to take advantage of this opportunity. It will not be surprising that in order to obtain a mobile phone, they make themselves jobless. Some might even go to the extent of lying that they are on unemployment to make them eligible to get the phones. In this context, the public's money is spent worthlessly. On top of that, till now, there are no surveys or evidences that prove this method in effective in reducing the rate of unemployment.

To put it in a nutshell, the suggestion of providing those who are jobless with mobile phones that are accessible to internet is not a proper and the best way to trim down the rate of unemployment. I suggest the government look into the background of the people in depth before giving out hand phones to them. I strongly believe that the public money should be utilized for the benefit of the society and not just for some of them who are not willing to put in more effort to find them a proper work.
Geenesh   
Jul 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / USE OF CCTV CAMERAS (IELTS ESSAY) [6]

okay thanks kevin.. :)
is there a word limit for ielts? is it okay if i somehow i manage to write an essay of the same length as the one above within the given time limit?
Geenesh   
Jul 1, 2011
Writing Feedback / Work for the company or go for our own business? [6]

- yup its like because of doing all the stuffs u mentioned above, she lost 10 kg...

- what i wrote kind of never suit ...m sorry...
it could be in the process of doing so, she lost 10kg - no need to put of after kg..
- i m not sure if the in the process of doing so fits well in the sentence, u will have to ask other experts here.. :) m just like u trying to learn new stuffs..
Geenesh   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / USE OF CCTV CAMERAS (IELTS ESSAY) [6]

The use of close circuit television (CCTV) cameras in streets, stations, shops and other public places has increased rapidly in recent years. Although we are told that these cameras help in the fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believe that everyone has a right to privacy. What are your views?

Today, close circuit television (CCTV) cameras are widely used in a variety of circumstances. They are used in schools, businesses and some other premises in order to monitor the activities taking place. It is undeniable that the use of CCTV has plenty of benefits to offer, especially in reducing crimes and protecting the employees in a premise. Nevertheless, some argue that these cameras invade their privacies due to constantly being monitored. Even so, I strongly believe that CCTV cameras should be installed in every premise to combat the ever increasing theft rate and to protect the workers at the workplace.

Firstly, by having CCTV cameras at workplace, crimes such as robbery can be trimmed down. This is because when a shop is attacked by thieves, the clips taken by these cameras serve as a source of evidence to help the thieves to be traced. To illustrate this further, in Malaysia, policemen used the videos captured by the CCTV cameras to trace and successfully catch a group of robbers who broke into a Seven Eleven shop during the midnight. Not only that, as the employees know that they are under constant surveillance, they will less likely steal from the shops. Thus, it is clear that CCTVs must be put in all workplace so that crime rates can be minimized.

Furthermore, at some offices, employees are often required to handle angry or frustrated customers. At times, face-to-face interactions with an annoyed customer can put the employee in physical danger. Hence, the installation of CCTV cameras may help the employees escape this situation because the customers know very well that their conversations are recorded. In the event of an argument, the videotapes can used to determine what actually took place and further actions can be then taken. In short, these cameras can help to provide some form of protection to the workers against the customers.

Looking from another perspective, the use of CCTV cameras does cause controversy. Those opposing the CCTV systems feel that their privacies are invaded with the constant monitoring of the cameras. However, one must realize that safety is of paramount importance compared to privacy and prevention is always better than suffering from the consequences. Ergo, opponents of this system should try to comprehend the situation and take actions to prevent themselves from being victims of crime.

To conclude, CCTV cameras are essential and therefore must be installed in every premise. This is chiefly to shield oneself from being harmed by any intruders or robbers. Admittedly, privacies are lost with the use of these cameras. Nonetheless, safety should be put first in order to be safe.
Geenesh   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / Work for the company or go for our own business? [6]

If we worked for OTHER companies THROUGHOUT OUR LIVES, we could never fulfill and demonstrate what we are looking forward TO during our lifetime.

....she encountered countless difficulties and experienced plenty of DISAPPOINTMENTS and STRUGGLES -leaving her ex-boyfriend JUST TO FOCUS COMPLETELY IN her business, selling all her valuable PROPERTIES such as luxurious house and car TO ACCUMULATE more capital, and IN THE PROCESS OF DOING SO losing 10 kilograms OF weights!

We enjoy our everyday WORK regardless OF how urgent OR DIFFICULT THINGS ARE.

On the contrary, we stay in the SAME routine when we have to work for others- getting into the office, meeting with supervisors from each departments, introducing new programs to customers, checking the income and outcome of annual financial report, and FINALLY RETURN home wearily .
Geenesh   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / "tourism does not benefit the poorest" - IELTS [5]

Yeah, I thought of writing it in 5 paragraphs. As I was timing myself, I had about less than 5 minutes for the ending. That was why I just end it there. Is there any way I can trim the length of my essay and write more points?

I thought of just following this concept in writing each paragraph.
1st sentence : topic sentence
2nd n 3rd : supporting details
4th : examples
5th : conclusion
Is that sufficient?
Geenesh   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / "tourism does not benefit the poorest" - IELTS [5]

Suspended for ignoring the new thread title rules.

Most of the world's poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditional cultures and ways of life? What are your views?

Today's world is divided into developing and industrialized countries. Surprisingly, majority of the poor people live in the developing countries where tourism is one of the major sectors that contribute a lion's share of the economies of the countries. Unfortunately, the income from this sector does not benefit the poorest and this is especially true in countries like India and Indonesia where there are still a large proportion of people living in penury. Apart from that, many are worried that the traditions and cultures of a particular country will deteriorate due to the influx of tourists. Hence, effective solutions must be achieved in order to reduce the problems stated above.

First, the income from the tourism sector can be put to better use by the government of the respective countries by setting up small stalls for the people who are poor. Most locals are usually skilled in making souvenirs or delicacies that are well-known in their countries. Thus, the authorities can advise and encourage the people to produce and sell the items they make at the stalls provided. As a result, on one hand, the poor can earn a living and on the other hand, the tourists will have ample of choices for their shopping. Besides, when the citizens prepare local delicacies, the tourists are exposed to the countries' traditional cuisine and ergo, it will be preserved.

Next, the government of the countries can build a culture village. Tourists visiting this village will be shown to the way of life of the locals in that country. Not only that, they can also experience the traditions and cultures of the various races of people in the country. As what is being done in places like Delhi and Cambodia, traditional dance shows can also be held. This has proved to be successful in attracting customers, primarily tourists to watch and know more about the traditions of the country. To run the shows, local people who are industrious and willing to learn and work can be employed. To conclude, by introducing a culture village, both the country and the poor people will be able to benefit.

To put it in a nutshell, a portion of the income generated through the tourism field can be utilized to help the poor to earn a little profit. Not only will they be able to gain something for themselves, but they will also lend a helping hand to the government to protect and preserve the country's traditions, cultures and customs.
Geenesh   
Jun 30, 2011
Writing Feedback / Should high school students allow to take courses they like? TOEFL [3]

For example, I am a non-native English speaker.

I know it is hard to express my thoughts and ideas in my writing but I have to write efficiently to succeed in my academic career.

...interests about a particular subject....

- nice points...
good luck !! :)
Geenesh   
Jun 29, 2011
Writing Feedback / There is no better time to be alive than now (really?) [2]

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as well as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today we no longer fear any contagious diseases, kudos to the modern technologies and the latest medical advancements. These have enabled humans to prevent themselves from being afflicted with various diseases such as cardiovascular diseases and obesity as well as survive them through surgeries. As a result, we now have longer life expectancies. As such, many believe that this is the best time to live and I agree to the aforementioned statement only to a certain degree.

It is an irrefutable fact that medical line has improved prodigiously that it had literally wiped out diseases like tuberculosis (TB) and smallpox that can lead to death if not cured at an early stage. As the popular maxim goes "Prevention is better than cure", a lot of vaccination programs have been launched and carried out consistently in schools and also in hospitals. Apart from that, enlightening talks and campaigns are being organized from time to time in order to educate the public about their health. Most importantly, now, there are health shows in televisions and radios. On top of that, the contributions of the food industries should not be neglected as well. After several researches, organic food materials, for instance organic rice, vegetables and fruits are now easily obtained in the market. In short, these prevention methods have undoubtedly kept plenty of diseases at bay.

Furthermore, nowadays we are exposed to numerous surgeries unlike centuries ago. Examples include bypass surgery to remove clogged arteries and replacing them with unclogged arteries to provide an alternative pathway for blood flow and laser treatment to eliminate any growth that can be detrimental to health. Moreover, today, we also benefit from the most recent facility, namely tele -medicine, whereby a doctor can consult another doctor from any part of the world when conducting surgeries. To conclude, medical advancements have made indeed made humans' life prolonged and convenient.

It may be true that advances in science and technology are advantageous to mankind. Nevertheless, the increase in longevity have been accompanied by a host of age-related diseases such as Alzheimer's, decline in vision and hearing abilities as well as loss in bone and muscle that are incurable. Researches are being conducted to find the appropriate medications for those diseases and also for others like cancer and dengue. Besides, some people do not really appreciate the advancements or the prevention programs held. They just do not seem to have changed their lifestyles but continue to live in the way of life they want. Thus, in this condition, all those progress in various fields seems to be disadvantageous.

To put it in a nutshell, countless prevention events are being established and more medical progressions are constantly taking place. Hence, we should equip ourselves with valuable nuggets of information regarding these as well as learn to change our lifestyles so that we will be in good health condition. By so doing, hopefully we can be as fit as a fiddle for a longer time.
Geenesh   
Jun 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Issue of importance to you - help me for my admision [9]

fofo why dont you give it a try? in your previous essay u asked help too. maybe it would be a practice for you as well. be independent.. success will not come just like that..it comes with hard work.. i thought of helping you a little. maybe you can talk about an incident that changed your life and made you who are now. n how that incident gave impact to you and your family. o maybe how it changed your character. i m sure there are such incidents in your life.. jus give it a try and post it here. there are many who can help u.. good luck ! :)
Geenesh   
Jun 28, 2011
Undergraduate / The more time people use the internet, the less time they spend with real human being [10]

thank you so much ajit rai. i appreciate that very much. i believe it is not too late for me to know the proper structure of an IELTS essay. i just have a few questions. hope you can clear them up for me.

1. if the essay is about to what extent do you agree or disagree with the view, then i can follow what you have mentioned above. first paragraph with the last line having the thesis statement. 2nd and 3rd having why i agree and the 4th is about the against points. but here in 4th paragraph i can just go totally against the points i mentioned in 2nd and 3rd right? i do not have to put arguments against my opinions which can be given/asked by any individual that should be encountered with a much bigger advantage in support of my opinion?

2. if the essay is about to do you agree or disagree with the view, then i can follow what u have mentioned above.

- i hope u understand what m trying to say.. sorry if i confuse u.. once again thanks for the proper structure..
- i simply love the quote you posted on my profile and also on other profiles... those quotes are encouraging... thanks !

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