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Posts by linh202
Joined: Jun 23, 2011
Last Post: Jul 31, 2011
Threads: 11
Posts: 21  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 32
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linh202   
Jul 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:Businesses had better not employ the workers for the whole of their life [NEW]

Hi everyone, please help me to check my essay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks a lot!

Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many entrepreneurs hypothesize that it is safer to hire employees for their entire lives in order to ensure the productivity and efficiency of working. From my perspective, those assumptions are not only conservative but also out-of-date. I am biased towards the opposite side that businesses had better not employ the workers for the whole of their life because of the three main crucial reasons.

First and foremost, various ideas and creativity from different people are indispensable for a company to flourish. The invaluable experience of senior employees can pass down to the young apprentices who get used to new job, but regularly give out creative and novel ideas. What's more, the rapid development in every field nowadays requires precise updates and access to new knowledge. Therefore, the youngsters are capable of meeting those standards. More importantly, they have activeness, inventiveness and enterprise which allow them to complete their jobs perfectly. These vital factors can decide whether the company can thrive or not.

Secondly, the staff soon gets boring with their stable job in such a long time. At a certain time, they may presume that a securing job is the most important and necessary because they need to earn money to manage their life. Thereafter, the bulk of them realize that high promotion and competition can assist them to improve their skills and horizons also. Many people enjoy challenging them because they don not want to be monotonous and passive ones. The same-old-same-old environment soon makes them depressed, so this situation will have an adverse impact on the enterprise.

Last but not least, the economic crisis and financial recession result in a tremendous increase in unemployment. In my opinion, the businesses ought to recruit many workers so as to tackle this aching issue. It enables the jobless to better their life and earn a living. Furthermore, the factories and companies will have abundant human sources to ensure the pace of manufacture and also devising lots of unique ideas.

In a nutshell, varied characteristics of various people, feeling tired of having the same occupation and solving the unemployed problem drive me to agree with the statement that the employer should not hire the staff for a whole life. I believe that the brilliant bosses are conscious of the need for giving opportunities to diverse employees.
linh202   
Jul 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / Television for children. bad and good influences [6]

As tv has good and bad channels, hence it is very dangerous for children, I think the family has a huge influenceimpact( influence is ok, but you have already used this word in the introduction, so it is better to use a synonym)inon their choice. If the child belongs to a good and educated family, probably they will monitor his time in front of television, and the quality of programs as well. If the child belongs to an unorganized family or a family without moral values, is more likely that he will spend much time before screen ,and hence he will be negatively influenced .

If the whole family watches the news every night it is a good routine. Musical programs also areare also good because they relieve stress, and give a feeling of comfort .The parents are the role model for their children, and if they will avoid the channels with negative influence, the children will do the same.
linh202   
Jul 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / SPEND Vs SAVE; Most youngsters today are not hesitant to spend their money! [3]

Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Most youngsters today are not hesitant to spend their money on luxurious things such as buying expensive clothes or going to bars. They just desire to satisfy themselves without seeing a disadvantage in lavishness. From my perspective, I encourage everybody to save money for their future because of three main crucial reasons.

First and foremost, education at the present is extremely costly. My school fees in ten years are paid by my parents whose income is approximately five hundred dollars a month. I detest becoming a burden on my family, so my savings assists me to tackle this aching problem. Furthermore, I no longer depend on my parents and even learn how to use money properly. More necessarily, I hope I will study abroad, so saving money now gives me an opportunity to fulfill my dream. Although the amount of money that I have saved is not big enough to buy a motorbike or build a house, I still feel happy and satisfied because I have capability of managing to solve some private problems related to money.

Admittedly, it is wise for people to save money to prepare for their married life thereafter. Many young couples presume that love and sympathy are the key to their marriage, but material needs are extremely indispensable. If you spend all the money you have earned during your single life, you will soon lack of money. As a result, your partner is unlikely to accept your proposal because she finds your economy unreliable and she does not want to take charge of earning a living alone. In contrast, having good finance allows you to set up a sustainable life with lots of comforts and more importantly, your partner totally feel satisfied with her married life.

Last but not least, I regularly assume that your savings improve not only your private life but also others' life. The Asian people always believe that the descendants have responsibility to look after their parents and grandparents when they are grown-up. For instance, my father often gives his parent money in the end of the month and in some occasions. This amount of money is not the most valuable thing to show his affection but at least, it assists my grandparent to better their life. What's more, I become absorbed in doing charity. Half of my savings is donated to the orphanage and central health. Never do I, therefore, feel despaired to what I have done.

In a nutshell, paying for school fees, initiating a married life and helping other people are undeniable and convincing reasons. I expect that people will be aware of the vitality of economy and discard all the luxurious habits.
linh202   
Jul 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / Tourism could be very important for the development of many countries [6]

It is believed that tourism is playing an important part in the economy of different countries and it also helps to open the minds of both visitors as well asand domestic people.

We have lost our beautiful coastlines and also have had less amount of tourist each year. This clearly shows that tourism can cause many bad effects on the environment and on the value of the places.

Take my hometown for instance, it used to be well-known for its beautiful and extensive beaches and people like towhich attract people to go swimming in the sea andas well as enjoy seafood at some restaurants near the beaches. However, because many tourists carelessly throw rubbishes like plastic bags into the sea, many jellyfishes and other marine creatures have died and , so the place is not as clean as it used to be.

Locals started making souvenirs and sell them to visitors and haveto earn money to buy food and other necessary stuff that they can not produce. Also, from the activity the local people do in their everyday life, tourists can learn a lot about their culture which is the greatest benefit from tourism.

You should use different conjunctions to link sentences in stead of using only one ( too much and). Anyway, your ideas are good and clear.
linh202   
Jul 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / Watching movies in a theater is more fun than watching them at home. [5]

Nowadays, seeing movies has become a major entertainment in our daliy life, which leads to the question "How to obtain more fun from seeing movies? " InFrom my point of view, seeing movie in the theater please me the most. That is because movie in the theater is usually the newest and theaters always provide the best sound effects compared to those in the house.

However, updating the devices cost sotoo much. Because of money, We cannot always keep the device such as amplifier, to be the newest. On the other hand, by spending few dollars in the theater, I can have aan enjoyable afternoon time.

Last but not least, It's cheap. Every one can enjoy the best sound effect by little cost instead of spending lots of money on the device in your house.

Your wording is easy to understand. I really like it. But I think you should add more details to your essay and use some synonyms to make it more impressive.
linh202   
Jul 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place [2]

Hi everyone,
Could you help me check my essay, please?

Some people spend their entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times throughout their lives, looking for a better job, house, community, or even climate. Which do you prefer: staying in one place or moving in search of another place? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

Many people desire to have stable jobs and inhabit in one place, even they do not want to challenge them or try something novel. From my perspective, those people are too monotonous and conservative. I am identical to move in search of various places instead of living in the same environment throughout my life owing to three crucial reasons.

First and foremost, living in different places can broaden your horizon which are unable to learn from books or in your own country. You have opportunity to understand the culture, convention and also tradition of your present whereabouts. Like traveling, but the most varied thing is that you certainly make up your mind to live there in a long time. Furthermore, when you live in another country, you must speak and use its language fluently in order to communicate and work. Somebody hypothesizes that this is the greatest obstacles to overcome, but actually, these difficulties constrain you to study new language. For example, my sister used to live in France five years ago and now she inhabits in Spain. Therefore, many enterprises offer her a high position because of her ability to speak different languages.

Admittedly, living with diverse communities with different races and ethnics enables you to change your life style. People from each nation have their own characteristics which have a tremendous influence on you. For instance, I used to live in Japan in three months with my Japanese friends. I have accumulated lots of rewarding knowledge and experience. I implicitly admire their seriousness, punctuality and courteous behavior that are extremely different from my home country. Since that trip, I have become a better person and lived responsibly. What's more, making acquaintance with various people helps you open your relationship and sympathize with ones who have miserable situations or misfortune.

Last but not least, looking for a new place assists you to find a decent job and possibly gain promotion. Definitely, working for a company in developed country will give you high salary and chance of discovering the professional style of working and having access to perfect facilities. That is the reason why many youngsters in my country desire to move to a more civilized country. Besides, some countries are renowned for their specific fields and majors such as technology in Japan, petroleum in Iraq or car manufacture in Germany. Those places motivate you to express your creativity and they are suitable for what you have learned at college.

In a nutshell, expanding eyesight, living with various people and having a bright career derive me to make preference to live in other places. If you detest boredom and tiredness of viewing the same scenery around your house, I suggest you had better agree with my idea.
linh202   
Jul 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:'history and geography'; working teenagers while they are still students. [4]

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.

Most people hypothesize that the students have responsibility for studying well at school. Besides, some conservative parents do not allow their children to take a job during school-year. From my perspective, the students had better look for an occupation because of three main crucial reasons.

First and foremost, the adolescents can earn a living and no longer ask their parents for pocket-money. They can buy anything they want without parents' agreement. Doing job will help them to understand how hard they must work and how invaluable the money is. What's more, several poor children can have a considerable amount of money to pay for school fee and assist their family. For example, in my country, lots of rural students do part-time job such as tutor, waiter or cleaner to save money because of their shortage of finance and also the luxurious life in city. Even, some of them contemplate using their savings to prepare for their future like getting married or studying abroad.

Secondly, doing part-time job gives students a plenty of practical experience. For instance, I used to work as a local tour guide for six months ago. I have absorbed lots of rewarding knowledge of history and geography; especially I have opportunity to communicate with foreign visitors. As a result, my English has been improving a lot and I am always confident to talk with international people. Furthermore, may youngsters choose open an online shop to sell clothes and accessories. This fabulous work assists them to practice management skill and also communication skill which is very beneficial for their future occupation

Last but not least, the bulk of energetic students desire to find an occupation in order to challenge them. In fact, many students doubt that which job is the most good-paying and suitable for them after graduating, so having jobs during school-year will be a key to their career. They think that it is high time they learned how to live independently and freely. Despite predicting the difficulties, they still make effort to find a decent job so as to test their ability and also learn to overcome the troubles. In addition, this confrontation stimulates not only their activeness but also their enterprise. After looking for a reliable job, students can make up their mind to choose a good major; especially the high-school students will have a proper orientation for their performance at university.

In a nutshell, having money, accumulating rewarding experience and confronting the risks are convincing and undeniable reasons to support the suitability of having jobs of students. I hope that the parents will be willing to accept this idea and facilitate students' occupation.
linh202   
Jul 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL writing - Are parents best teachers? Yes, they are. [7]

It is obvious that parents are the first teachers who teach babies how to walk and speak and make children to become a good person.

This seems to be easy but this can influence positively their future children and makes children's behavior better before they face the real world.

Third, it is clear that parents are ones who loves their children most and always take care of their children.
linh202   
Jul 14, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - the government should support the scientific research with no practical use? [5]

Without scientific research being supported by government, perhaps none of these would have been possible.

For example, poor children have no money to receive education; high house price prevent people from buying their own homeone ; rising prices of commodities makes it difficult to satisfy people's basic desire.

Your wording is really good. I'm impressed by the way of using vocabulary.
linh202   
Jul 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / Discuss the causes of this phenomenon: In general, people are living longer now. [2]

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Unlike the ancient time, the great inventions and rapid development of human society assist people to live longer than their ancestors. From my perspective, there is a remarkable rise in our life expectancy because of the improvement of medical care, convenient services and the appearance of new technology.

First and foremost, the progress in medical center is the lifeblood of long life. Undoubtedly, various kinds of medicines and treatments play a crucial role in improving our health. For example, a patient who has lung cancer which is a fatal disease can live longer than he expects owing to the chemotherapy and taking helpful medicines. What's more, the advance of medicine helps people get rid of some hazardous diseases that are unable to be cured in the past such us rabies and smallpox. Especially, many children today have vaccine to avoid several epidemics and infectious diseases. Also, the investment in building hospitals allows us to have more access to a periodical check-up.

Secondly, the betterment of technology and machine brings about a comfortable life. People no longer wash clothes by hand, send letters by pigeons or go to work on foot. The existence of modern products enables us to have more time for recreation. Driving car to the office may cost us a big amount of money for petrol, but we do not have to breathe the noxious gases and be prevented from the rain. Furthermore, the manual workers do not need to work much like before because of the assistance of the machines. That is why many people do not hesitate to pursue those beneficial machines instead of the drawback equipment in order to protect their health.

Last but not least, the abundant kinds of services meet our demand of entertainment and relax. Doing exercise in the gymnasium is a good habit which can help us to keep fit and release stress. Not only the youngster but also the elderly regularly play sports so as to stretch their muscles. For example, my mother usually gets up at four am to do aerobics, so she is always full of energy and feel healthy. In addition, lots of spas which have different sorts of services such as massage and sauna are set up to care for our beauty and health.

In a nutshell, the reasons which I mentioned above play an important part in human's longevity. Maybe the drastic development partly haves a bad affect on us, but the advantages of those advances outweigh the disadvantages.
linh202   
Jul 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / If we choose an animal to like, we should do our best to protect them [4]

The other reason is that we should respect to animals. If we choose an animal to like decide to have a pet, we should do our best to protect them.

No one more than human kinds have been damaged their living place.

In the end, I hope we will have a better behavior against towards animal in the world and try to show a positive point of view to our next generation.

When you write conclusion, you should start the new line so as to be more organized.
linh202   
Jul 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:Government should regard investing in building roads as the most important [5]

Hi everybody,
Could you help me to check my essay, please?

Should government spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

The population explosion results in the high demands of transportation. Many countries have suffered from pollution, noisy and casualty for a long time. From my perspective, the most possible solution to these problems is improving roads and highways because of three below crucial reasons.

First and foremost, we all know that upgrading public transportation will surely aggravate the pollution and accidents. The buses, cars and trains regularly emit a noxious gas which causes lots of fatal diseases such as lung cancer and pneumonia. Moreover, the sound emanates from the engines can worsen our hearing. Most importantly, there are many accidents happening on the roads. For example, in my country, buses are attributed to the cause of skyrocketing of accidents. Each year, Vietnam has approximately twelve thousand people die of accidents which is equivalent to the death toll of the tsunami in Japan.

Secondly, investing in roads and highways can broaden the area and allow more public transportation to work. Not only buses but also other personal vehicles can move easily on the roads. For instance, I always leave school at the time that everybody rushes into the roads and hastily goes home. It is extremely troublesome for me to escape from the crowd on the roads in only one hour. In contrast, if the roads are enlarged, everyone can go home in short time and there are hardly any collisions.

Last but not least, spending on renovating the highways and roads can improve the quality. All of us are afraid of moving on the rough roads with lots of portholes. Those bad conditions result in many terrible accidents and make several people feel worried. We should not accuse the drivers of causing accidents because a part of the responsibility belongs to the authorities. What's more, a smooth surface makes the transportation and movement become safer and easier.

In a nutshell, the advantages of upgrading the roads which I mentioned above are totally convincing and indispensable. I am usually inclined to this idea and I hope that the government will regard the investment in building roads as the most important thing.
linh202   
Jul 8, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL-people should have hobbies and do physical activities [4]

Looking at the computer screen all day long can make us daze, so doing some sports and hobbies can prevent us from becoming to fat or short-sighted. My neighbor Tom once was a computer engineer in a big company. He ate fast food everyday and never went out to exercise. When he found out that he was too fat to find a girlfriend, he made up his mind to loose weight. He started to jog every morning. After a mon th, he iswas thinner and findsfound a girlfriend.
linh202   
Jul 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Being taught by a teacher is the most suitable and effective way to learn [4]

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific details and examples in your answer.

Hi everyone,
Could you help me check my essay, please!

Most people hypothesize that self-study is regularly the most beneficial and least lavish way to accumulate knowledge. From my perspective, students had better have a teacher because of three crucial reasons.

First and foremost, the teacher has high education and qualification. He is trained to instruct different students with various levels. Normally, the instructor is specialized in one subject, so the knowledge passed down has a higher accuracy. Not all the students have ability to study well all the subjects at school. For example, my sister accomplished lots of invaluable rewards for mathematics when she was a pupil. In contrast, she often had difficulty solving chemistry's problems, so she spent two days a week studying at a chemistry extra class. Furthermore, the teacher has a specific method to make the students interested in learning and drive them to discover new horizon.

Secondly, the teacher is regarded as the best parent and he has responsibility for teaching the students the conventional behavior. For instance, when I studied at elementary school, my civics teacher usually told us to express thanks as other people helped us. A six-year-old child is not capable of being aware of the etiquette and unlikely to study alone. Indeed, teacher is the lifeblood of shaping children's characteristics. What's more, he often evaluates the students' acts fairly and be objective enough to give some useful advice. Like parents, he also gives affection to students and looks up to them.

Last but not least, studying alone easily makes students distract and slowly progress. If they are not persistent and have high concentration, self-study will be extremely troublesome. There is no pressure to constraint them to study hard, so they are likely to give up and neglect. The noise and some kinds of entertainment are the big nuisances which can make their studying ineffective. Moreover, they must spend plenty of time searching materials and solving difficult problems. With teacher's assistance, they can have useful information and clue to find the answers advantageously.

In a nutshell, the instructor can pass down both theory and practicality and also self-study requires students several strictness. Those are reasons why being taught by a teacher is the most suitable and effective way to learn.
linh202   
Jul 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, more and more universities ask their students to choose one field the school have [3]

As far as I am concerned, I feel that taking classes in many fields can offer students more opportunities in job hunting and broaden their thinking.

Since almost all graduates have no practical experience, the person who has a broaden knowledge probably wins more attentions of the employers.

Obviously, the graduate who gained various knowledge such as marketing management and natural science may winswin more attention of employers than who specialized in marketing management

Your idea is good but you should regard some minor mistakes
linh202   
Jul 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / "CFL lamps make our eyes feel far more comfortable" - TOEFL-Integration [3]

In the reading passage and the listening passage, the author and the lecturer are both discussing the CFL lamp. However, they respond differently to the issue of several points

The following three points of different views betweenamong two parties are presented as followed.

Thirdly, the writer maintain that not only do the CFL have negative influence toon our environment, but also it will do harm to our health, especially our eyes.

Nevertheless, the speaker illustrates that rather than doing harm to our eyes, CFLs make our eyes feel far more comfortable with the general light.
linh202   
Jul 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports [4]

Hi everyone, please help me to check my essay
Thanks a lot :D

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Universities should give the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to their university libraries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Most of people hypothesize that students go to colleges to study by their brain, not body, so they often disregard lots of outdoor activities. From my perspective, the universities should spend the same amount of money to their students' sports activities as they give to the libraries because sport gives students rewarding entertainment, healthiness and good cooperation.

First and foremost, playing sports is a useful recreation for students after stressful studying in class. Students can choose various kinds of sport such as playing basketball, go swimming and doing aerobic. Instead of going to the bar or disco in which students can be easily addicted to alcohols and drugs, they can go to sports club or the gymnasium to do exercise and learn new skills. For example, I used to engage in basketball club in my college despite not being skillful at playing it. After some time studying diligently from other members, I was chosen to play for an important tournament.

Secondly, through sport, students can develop both physically and mentally. Playing tennis or badminton in each morning or after school time can improve students' health. Having a good heath is extremely indispensable to absorb knowledge, so they can learn effectively and effortlessly. Furthermore, going to sports club give students a high opportunities to socialize and make friends with lots of new and kind people that they have never met. Talking with other friends with different majors and habits can also enhance their communication and behavior skill.

Last but not least, considerable investment in sports activities can set up a united association among students. Some team games like football, basketball or baseball request high team spirit and community solidarity. Thus, all the members must respect the cohesion and cooperate flexibly during the game. Through the sport, students not only stretch their muscles but also understand how vital the unity is.

In a nutshell, the advantages of sports activities which I mentioned above are undeniable and people should change their mind about the necessity of sports activities. Universities have better spend money on improving sports facilities and organizing clubs besides the investment in academic materials in order that students can develop comprehensively.
linh202   
Jul 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / agree/disagree - moving to different countries or towns is not good because [3]

First, I admit the proverb of out of sight, out of mind. In my case, when I have lived in China, I made many friends on the trip of the province and suburbansuburb .

In the movie, they mentioned that they realized the meaning of life and nature of happiness through numerous meeting(s) with people

Not only that, they emphasized that if they didn't decide to take this trip, their neighbor would be limited to the friends who were living in the next door in their apartment forever.

Your ideas are really good
linh202   
Jul 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - the main point is to be sure if we can pay a loan or not [7]

Also these days money playplays an important role in our lives. It is a big problem to borrow money from your friends because I think borrowing money from friends this can harm thisyour relationship.

For example if my friend borrowedlent me some money, he expected that I would return that money before its deadline and if I did not do that, he would have some bad thoughts about me

I thinks you should add some details and idea. Your essay is quite short
linh202   
Jun 27, 2011
Writing Feedback / Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. It save lots of valuable time [3]

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The rapid development of the flourishing society has led to a great change of the cuisine. It is too ludicrous to say that this difference may break the tradition and cause lots of hazardous diseases. Actually, this advance has improved the life style of people a lot for the three main reasons.

First and foremost, preparing food simply can save lots of valuable time. The bulk of people are usually busy working and studying, so they do not have time for recreation. Prepackaged food is the most suitable solution to this big problem. You can spend time talking with family and doing sports activities. For instance, I used to prepare food for a party. Unfortunately, the gas stove run out of energy, then I felt really sorry for that incident. Everything would have been better if I had bought precooked food. What's more, the easy style of cooking is extremely beneficial to the restaurant because the eaters do not need to wait for long time to have their meals. This advantage also helps the chefs to earn lots of money.

Secondly, the more easily the food is processed, the happier life is. Some traditional food makes you depressing because of the complicated preparation. Asian women especially put up with a high pressure on cooking. No matter how busy they are, they must prepare food for the whole family. For example, my mother often thinks of what kind of food she should cook for a day. Never does cooking make her comfortable. That is the reason why many people choose fast food or use other machines to help them cook faster. Thus, cooking is no longer a horror and worry.

Most importantly, the uncomplicated food preparation enables you to have an access to the new machines. In the past, people regularly wash the dishes on their own, but today they have a dish washer which is totally helpful. Moreover, the refrigerator, oven and blender are virtually the reliable home appliances that may cost you a big amount of money. On the other hand, those help you roast the bread and freeze the fish in a short time. Since then, people have had chance to keep their health and pay attention on their jobs. Furthermore, the advantages of machine drive children and adults to have a liking for food preparation.

Consequently, saving time, having a comfortable life and approaching to new technology are the typical benefits of simple cuisine. Its enormous influence on the daily life is undeniable.
linh202   
Jun 27, 2011
Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [414]

Hello everybody,

My name is Linh. I'm from Vietnam. I'am living in Hanoi city. I really want to make friends with everybody in this forum.

This forum is extremely helpful and interesting. I have just joined for one week. I am going to take the TOEFL ibt test, but my writing is bad. Thus, I really need your help, guys! :D

Nice to meet you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :X
linh202   
Jun 24, 2011
Writing Feedback / Parents are the best teachers (they bring us up, teach us, love us) [3]

Dear everybody,
Could you have me to check my essay?
Thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!!

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

From infanthood to adolescence, parents always have an extremely great impact on us, both positive and negative influence. From my personal angle, despite some of their bad behaviors, parents are still the best teachers that I have ever known because of the following reasons.

First and foremost, thanks to our parents, we can exist in this world and grow up like a true human being. They bear children and have responsibility for nurturing them. On being a small child, parents lull us to sleep, teach us how to speak, stand and walk. When we become the adolescent, parents often teach us the basic things to be a perfect person, for example, etiquette and behavior. Furthermore, the characteristics of parents also affect the young's personalities. For instance, my father never drinks alcohol or smoke cigarettes. Therefore, my brother usually refuses to drink wine and he also advises his friends to give up those bad habits.

Secondly, some people assume that only teachers are qualified to teach, but it is extremely troublesome to find an instructor who has an ability to pass down both academic knowledge and practical experience like our parents. For example, when I was a young student, I used to ask my father to help me solve the mathematics exercises, even though he is a merchant. As you see, our parents may be not specialized in all specific fields, but they have a kind of instinct to sacrifice for the betterment of their children. At school, children have many opportunities to learn science and art. In contrast, the schoolteachers do not train them to cook, weave or repair machines like our parents. They are not only a loyal friend but also a reliable consultant. They are willing to help us encounter the difficulties and share with us both happiness and sorrow.

Last but not least, parents give us passionate love and the feeling of a true family. Everything they sacrifice is derived from affection and the consciousness of responsibility. But for their love, we would not have grown up and soon become the miserable children. Schoolteacher can broaden our horizon, but only parents can help us understand how the importance of the family love is. For example, the orphan always feels unconfident and pessimistic because they never experience the wonderful feeling of being loved. In addition, our parents' love is an incentive for us to study, work and overcome the troubles in life.

In conclusion, parents are forever an excellent instructor that nobody is totally comparable with because they bring us up, teach us how to become a respectful person and also give us sincere love. All the lessons that we have learned from our parents are enormously rewarding and invaluable.
linh202   
Jun 24, 2011
Writing Feedback / Spending time alone or with friends? [3]

They become an energizer for my life, they bring many advices ( advice is an uncountable noun) to me and can sympathize rather than my family, and I can learn many things from them.

We can study together and can ask questions each other .

They can advice (advice is a noun->verb: advise sb to do st) to me and find good way for me.
linh202   
Jun 24, 2011
Writing Feedback / Toefl: Children should learn to handle money - benefits for the whole society. [12]

That's why I strongly agree that should let children to do this.
( It' s much better if you write: "That is the reason why I strongly agree that we should let children do this ."

Remember, when you write an essay, you must write the whole word, don't use any abbreviations ( your mistake: That's)
linh202   
Jun 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / Pets are deserved to be behaved like the true family members? [5]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Pet should be treated like family members.

A number of families have a liking for adopting pets such as dog, cat and bird. These pets not only bring happiness to their owner but also make our society become better and better. Thus, those undeniable benefits drive me to confirm that pets should be treated like family members they have the same feeling as the humans, are usually willing to make friends with us and have a great influence on the children.

First and foremost, pets as well as humans have their own emotion and feeling. For instance, I used to adopt a lovable puppy when I was small. However, I always forgot to feed him and just kept him in a cage. One week later, he came down with a serious illness and passed away. After that, I felt extremely depressed and discouraged. From my personal angle, animals are identical to all of us and need to be cared for. Unless we are heedful of them, they will feel sad, frustrated and even interfere with us all the time. On the contrary, pets will become the reliable and friendly family members if we spend time playing or chatting with them. Therefore, all the efforts expressing our attention like building pets' care center, making friends and so forth are extremely essential.

Secondly, pets play an important role in our daily life. They are usually our loyal and honest friend because they do not know how to tell lie and betray. For example, dog is the most reliable friend of police force. He not only arrests the burglar but also detects the evidence. But for the dog, lots of investigations would have encountered many troubles. Furthermore, many trained pets assist the handicapped to do their work by themselves and help the blind to get the right direction. In addition, pets are ready to make friends with us whenever we need. They cannot speak, understand our language but at least they always listen to what we share and make fun to help us laugh.

Last but not the least; pets have effective impact on children's response to their family and community. Some children assume that looking after their pets give them opportunities to learn the sense of responsibility. To the family, they are conscious of helping parents to do the housework, take care of their babies and live in harmony with their siblings. To the community, they are aware of the importance of doing charity and taking notice of other people around them. They will learn how to share the happiness and sorrow with the others.

As a result, pets are deserved to be behaved like the true family members. It will be too brutal and selfish if we just try to look down on and eliminate them out of our life.
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