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Posts by cupnoodle123
Joined: Dec 18, 2011		 Last Post: Dec 30, 2011
Threads: 15
Posts: 52  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 67 / page 2 of 2
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cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a maroon elephant' - Johns Hopkins- Additional Interests [20]

The structure: many short paragraphs, kind of show you have too many points you want to make in one essay. First, focus on the prompt: Just tell them about an interest of yours not shown elsewhere in the app...Just tell about an interest of yours...a hobby and why you love it

But I really like knowing about your culture...if you tell it ..more genuinely? in your voice, then it could come off great:) Nice job, and think about my suggestions :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I loved my church' - Common App MAIN [9]

Psshhh, I'm not too busy to check yours...thanks for the comments too by the way, and for yours too, Rifat Murs. :)

Also...uh, do you think this essay would better go under 1)"Significant experience and its impact on you" or 2)"Describe an encounter and how it demonstrated the importance of diversity" or 3)"Topic of your choice"

THanks for your time :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Drawing is my guilty pleasure' - Johns Hopkins [11]

I like the many aspects of drwaing that you explore hear...from creativity/liberation to understahding more about yourself and others...perhaps there's more you could do, but so far, here're my comments

Good job with this, I like it !:) Keep making it better, and read it aloud too :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I loved my church' - Common App MAIN [9]

Thanks, ya I feel Topic of Choice is more fitting because of that too:)

Um do you know if I have to make up a prompt for the topic of choice? Or give it a speccial title so people undersatnd what the topic of choice is?

Sure I can read yours too! :D
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a maroon elephant' - Johns Hopkins- Additional Interests [20]

Yeah, I mean if you're really passionate about that I think it'd be great to read about it :D And if you write about very...effectively, I guess, it would be really interesting :)

I guess write about whatever you really are passionate about...Also, so things about your hobbies might be really briefly stated in your app and if you wanted to explain one of them deeper because it shows another side to you, it could work too I suppose

HOpe this helps :) But your essays are great, with a clear focus, this one will be too
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / Stanford Letter to Roommate "Teamplayer" [8]

Thanks for the comments all of you! They were all really helpful to help me improve some areas and aspects of it

And flafi120 and andrew kwok: sure it's be glad to read yours too:)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am an open person' - Stanford- Letter to Roommate [6]

I think it helps the roommate essay for you to relate your hobbies and what they reveal about your character/personality: eg. cheering for football = passionate ->(then transition to saying that you are...) passionate about success for yourself and others

like sorta like that, idk, But I hope this suggestion helps to know how to approach this essay more :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'future is the main issue' - stanford ... what matters to u & y ? [19]

Hey, your writing is really good, very expressive, very artful and interesting, However, your organization of thoughts...um...heh

I think you could organize this much better around one topic that mattered to you, Maybe the future, and then branch forth from that, For example, give anecdote of how you came to realize the nearness of the future as you grew older, and how you saw others wasting their present away, not caring about future consequences, So you decided to live more wisely in the present, ...thus the future matters to you because it influences your present life

:) Hope this all helps :) And could you read my new Roommate essay that I will put up later on ----- Just want to say thanks for being honest with that, I also felt my essay was kinda typical and yours was the only criticism out of a lot of praise, Like I knew it was written well, but not super inspiringly...

To let you know,...I think you write inspiringly, your ideas are great! Just try to focus on one point, so we see the fullness of that cool thought process :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'pass and move' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER [4]

Furthermore, I will do anything for the good of my team, they are my family. this sounds like just an add in to make up for saying you love winning...maybe rephrase to sound more natural...

Bill Shankly once said that some people think that football is a matter of life and death, I can assure them that it's much more than that. My attitude towards football could not be better described.waste of characters..the prompt already wants u to elaborate as well as possibly about this...so ya...

thisis very interesting though! Just work on trying to add perhaps a bit more concrete details about what you do/why you do it/teamwork idk... and say it concisely...This essay really focuses on someone writing as much substance in as little space as possible :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / Favorite books/movies/poems list [6]

youI cannot hear from a written music.

this is all really interesting :) I don't really know what school this is for, so ya...but it looks quite good :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 26, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I loved my church' - Common App MAIN [9]

:DD okay thanks
but sry..i also kinda looked it up...most ppl do add their own prompts, I guess to give readers an idea of where they are heading...in any case, it only helps/doesn't hurt

But thanks for answer anywaysss :) As for title, I'll consider it :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a maroon elephant' - Johns Hopkins- Additional Interests [20]

Oh I reread your essay, I now think it is really good...

Sry i think that last time i read it was at like past 12:00 AM and after a Christmas party....ya, so iwas kinda tired out...

Uh no actually, i think this is beautiful :)) Sorry about making you worried about anything

So I will make it up with good points :D

1) IT answers the prompt
2) I really like to hear about elephant collections
3) I really like to hear about Indian traditions I never heard of before
4) It's written stylistically very well
5) It has great organization I like the approach

Yup, so sorry about that!!! I looked back at what edits I made...I don't think I was in my right mind...ya so...ya

:) THis is a keeper..see I told you you wrote really well :)

Oh, but if you HAVE to cut it down by so much..hmm..I suggest don't just start deleting stuff...When I have to cut down by deleting stuff from an essay that is already great as it is..it doesn't end up really good. It just sounds like too much concrete detail (cuz you know, you start by cutting expendable fluff stuff)

So maybe restructure things...like brainstorm and organize, since you're mostly just naming many elephants and what they correlate to in each paragraph, maybe you could just name them all at once and then the other stuff about how it relates to you in a different paragraph...I guess...something more like that, just to be more concise

Man, deadline is drawing close though...wish you the best with this:D Repost it again if you'd like:D
cupnoodle123   
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'You just got an AB!' - Stanford Letter to a roommate [4]

Marilyn Monroe and JFKDo you like them particularly? If not...it's kinda just random to put in, not showing that much about you, unless you mean to say that you are similar to them...Um, they kinda had an affair together..ya...so ya...

I am wondering if you should get the lottery today , cause the chance of winning a 10$ prize is surprisingly approximately 5% .You should change this to mean that your roommate struck lottery in getting you// unless that is what you meant..then say it clearer :) However don't say 10$, cuz you are worth more than that :) Just say lottery lol no one has to know how much

But I like this essay overall, very creative approach! Maybe don't say you are harsh judger of people..that sounds kinda negative...but Iget what you mean, just try to come off...ya positive even when you say your weaknesses, rephrase a bit?
cupnoodle123   
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Chinese characters mixed with English alphabet' - MIT Personality [4]

Comments, esp criticisms, are extremely helpful...thanks to all in advance :)

b]What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)[/b]

I like admiring the Chinese characters mixed with English alphabet in my Cantonese comic books that creatively portray typical Hong Kong "Canglish." I daily try out solutions to cure my own myopia, through Chinese callisthenic techniques, or carrots, or my own creatively invented methods. The aspect of my personality that I enjoy most is my eccentric creativity. Though it does not arise from surpassing genius, my eccentricity is both the cause and effect of the way I think and speak, and lends to my creativity. For this reason, I easily identify with the bizarre personalities of kids, who I work with every week through community service and church. I strive to use words and ideas to help the kids visualize and understand concepts. It feels ridiculous expressing my eccentricity before the children; yet, holding it back detracts from the learning experience for them and me, and I realize the only way to teach is to do it dynamically. At school, I am inspired by the creative works that peers put their minds into, and their ideas often facilitate my own. And so, my sense of humor is colored by eccentric thinking and quirky perspectives that deviate freely. I truly appreciate AP classes because they let me learn about worlds that creative poets, physicists, and engineers have revolutionized. By delving into the content in these classes, I can then view the world in larger scope and use the knowledge from one area to creatively enhance my understanding of the next.
cupnoodle123   
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a maroon elephant' - Johns Hopkins- Additional Interests [20]

This is great! If you wanted you could add some subjective stuff, like your feelings toward these elephants or what they represent, but otherwise, the elephants really match with what you are making them represent :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'church has been the apple of my eye' MIT: How has your world shaped your dreams? [5]

Ka-ching it is exactly 250 wds...Please give comments, criticism, on this :) Helps very much, thanks all

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

Growing up, church has been the apple of my eye, my home of cultural traditions adapted to American life and Christianity, and my favorite house full of friends that I could feel comfortable around and share my thoughts about life with. It is where the family outside my family is, and is full of people whose desire to proactively help out the community is a lever that raises my own goals and standards for myself. Being part of church means being dedicated to a group, even when there are no teachers to make sure I carry through with responsibilities, and no grades coming in to determine pass or fail, and only my character is on the line. The relationships I have at church are a blessing that has taught me to care about and respect others.

My dreams are shaped by this lesson I learned from church to keep persevering toward positive goals despite the fact that, as I grow older, there will be fewer people to make sure I stay on track, assume responsibilities, and just work hard. This is why I follow my dream to be an electrical engineer even though the major is difficult and the competition will be tough. The rewards will reflect my perseverance. While I dream to pursue career goals that are my own, I desire to be successful so that I can also repay my family and church with my own time and resources, all the while still growing in the Christian faith.
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'academic excellence, location, small student body' - Why Tufts? [7]

Tufts University strikes me as a school that has it all: academic excellence, an unbeatable location near Boston, and a small student body size that fosters interaction and growthpretty generic reasons ...You can try to find reasons that relate to your interests/therefore you like tufts since it fits you, more like that . I am drawn because of Tufts because it offers outstanding programs in engineering but also encourages undergraduates to explore subjects in the School of Arts and Sciencesehh, you shuold delve deeper into this...make this sentnece a bit deeper... . As a student who has multiple interests, I believe that Tuft's quirky academic climatequirky academic enviroment is the perfect place for me to grow as both an individual and a scholar.

Your organization of thoughts is fine, but the answer is pretty generic, and could be true of any college too...Maybe do some research and watch Youtube vids :) Those kinda help you feel the atmosphere of the place...the type of work done there...ppl's clubs...spoirts..etc that you can refer to in this thing

HOpe this helps !:D
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / MIT How has your Personality impacted your Life? [4]

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

I do daily exercises to try to cure my own myopia, using Chinese callisthenic techniques, or carrots, or my own creatively invented methods. For fun, I read Cantonese comic books that are written in Chinese and creatively mixed with English to portray typical Hong Kong "Canglish." The aspect of my personality that I enjoy most is my eccentric creativity. Though it arises not from exceptional genius, my eccentricity is both the cause and effect of the way I think and speak, and lends to my creativity. For this reason, I identify with children through their bizarre personalities. I work with kids every week through StARTs**, and I observed that they learn best when concepts are explained through shapes and images rather than numbers. To help kids grasp harder techniques, I realize I cannot be afraid to employ visual tools, expressive language, and hand-motions to cleverly explain my meanings. It makes me express my eccentric personality before them, and though it feels ridiculous at first, I know the only way to teach well is to teach creatively. This has helped me become a better teacher, and at school when my friends have questions, they can expect to receive an eager and creative explanation of the problem from me. I simply enjoy using my brain to think outside "all boxes." So in school, I like difficult classes because I trust that my store of creativity can turn drab curriculum into exciting new knowledge that can be interpreted from creative angles.
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Boston University Essay - Roommate Essay [6]

When I meet someone new, I want them to know how I work and how I am. I love pop culture. Any chance I get to reference something from Clueless, one of my 90's movie, I will. I am also hopelessly enamored with the Kennedy family. When I go to college, I fully intend on bringing my book and DVD collection- I give you permission to laugh at me while I sit down on a bad day and watch documentaries. Along with the Kennedy's, I am also really fond of HBO's television series such as John Adams. I can admit that I watched a couple of episodes as a fun (and productive) way to study for my AP Exam.

Apart from those pastimes, I enjoy painting a lot. I haven't decided if I will be bringing acrylic or oil paints because they have a slight odor to them. I'll most definitely bring my sketchbook but I can assure you, it will be awhile till I let you look at it. I don't let anyone look at my sketchbook.Maybe state this a bit more positively...right now it's just a direct sentence that says "back off" ...But no this is fine to say, just be friendly to your roommate:)

I've talked about what I like to do because I feel like it really shows the type of person I am.Unecessary) Unfortunately, my personality is too 4Dyou could elaborate on what this means...connect it with things you say in this paragraph ..otherwise, I dk really what 4d personality is...my friends just go to 3d unfortunately... :) jkjk to be really understood through my pastimes. I am very easily amused and if we go watch a comedy, I'll be the loudest one laughingPerhaps say this with more art///more creatively...since lots of ppl are also like that too:) . You won't have to worry about being funny near me because I'll genuinely laugh at everything you say or doerr...even if they're not funny...are you laughing with me or at me now... . When we argue about serious issues, I will stay quite if I don't know something but later, I will pounce on you with new questions and arguments. I like arguing. To me, arguing is a way of getting to know someone. I would rather us argue sometimes than us agree all the time. My work ethic is fairly simple; I prefer doing my work on a schedule. When I get off track, I want people to tell me. I do the same to my friends and it becomes a mutualistic relationship.Much of this makes sense...but it's pretty generic stuff, true about most of us...I'd talk more about aspects/interests about yourself that can't be seen anywhere else in you essay (sounding like a familiar prompt now?) and then tie those interests to show how they make you a good friend/well balanced roommate/not too contentious etc

My background is probably something you would be interested inumm..too "answer the question in a complete sentence" sort of thesis , considering I don't have a typical name or a typical accenOkay, NOW this sentence was pretty cool t. You will probably be confused when I tell you I live in North Carolinaand as your roommate Ibring in two years of expereince around soul food, winter snow and celebration, horses and nature (sorry...idk what;s in NC...) <----say things in your true voice, sorta like this, which is my truer voice...introduce your pts creatively. I am not actually from North Carolina, though, I have just lived here for the past two years. I am quite culturedwe are all cutlured somehow , having lived in 3 different culturesYou could incorporate these 3 cultures in pretty creatively :) . I can speak Swedish and Malaysianand though you probably aren't among the 1% in the world who speaks this , You can prepare to learn from one of the best, most patient teachers. <-- say it more creatively, per se . I am sure only 1% of the world speaks these languages but if you can speak them, I'll be happy to have some fun conversations with you in public so no one else understands us. It'll be like a secret code.um the secret code part is kinda just randomly ending the paragarph...and doesn't show much abou tyou...except..err..one must use the imagination..

I love meeting new peopleMost ppl do... , especially someone who I know I am going to have a close bond withthat too... . My first roommate experience occurred this summer when I went to a college program for 5 weeks. It was only for 5 weeks but I connected with my roommate so well that we still stay in touch and we iMessage almost everyday. I can't imagine being a roommate for a whole school year.

I can tell from a few sentences here and there, that you must have a super cultural background...take stuff from there! Make it personal through those things! Not just generic stuff about friendship ...

Sorry, don't mean to be harsh or anything...I feel you have better ideas, use them! :D
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / MIT: How has your world shaped your dreams? [2]

Right now 280 wds... Sorry to those whom Ihaven't read the essays of yet..Iwill get to that sorry!!

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

When I was young, my father's engineering office was interesting to me, with a lot of wires and machinery. Yet I was in that environment often, scampering around the office, watching his coworkers test electronics on their computers. When daddy came home, he and mom would talk about his business day and I would be drawn into the often anxious, often excited talk about "sales", "products" and "investors." In church, my dad used his engineering skills to wire the security system for the building, and in the summer he would organize robotics camps for kids. Few other fathers could do what my father did, and I felt proud of him. At home I tried to listen patiently as my dad introduced me to mechanical design, electronic parts, and programming. I did not really understand how whole machines could be controlled by just one page of typed code, and this began my curiosity to understand the process of inventing electronics, beneath all their glamour and functions.

In high school, after taking AP Computer Science and then interning at a wireless communications company during the summer, I found I had the passion for programming and the interest to become what my father was: an electrical engineer. My APCS class had had only four girls in a class of thirty, so I already knew that this was a male-dominated field. But, I feel I can take on the challenges of entering this field because I have a true interest in it and familiarity with it after growing up in around my father. I want to be as talented an engineer as my dad is, and I know he is one engineer who will support me all the way.
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / When You Didn't Exist (M&Ms and Solipsism) - Common App Essay [8]

This is a great essay :) If you wanted you could add something about your solipsist life in interaction with others outside...like your family/friends/school? This is mostly internal events, and it is really meaningful and interesting, but if you wanted to add some variety and let readers see the outside perspective as well, it could add a lot!

But great overall:)

If you could read mine I'd apprecaite it too:))
cupnoodle123   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / " Why Columbia? ". Several factors combined. [8]

i think this is okay, but can definitely become a lot better too:) Just work on puttin gin original ideas, original and true feelings about colombia :)

HOpe this hleps, don't mean to be harsh :)
cupnoodle123   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / Big zhou, my chemistry teacher [14]

The biggest influence i see that you have from her is that you only HOPE to be like her in the future...did big zhou ever make you change your attitude? make you go home and study way way harder than you otherwise would have w/o her encouragement? Did she make you go out and help fellow students out? I can hope to be like Obama...but if he just made me HOPE for that ...not do anything about it, it's not a significant experience

But this is pretty good:) It's fun to read ...only maybe add more of your initial sentiments in it, and really try to add a bigger influence you got from her :)

HOpe this hleps, and sorry - don't mean to sound harsh or anything

:) Sorry this took so long to get to you....I forgot your essay though I'd said I'd take a look at it :)

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