Undergraduate / 'doctor's hands perform miracles' - Stony Brook Med Supplement [3]

Due date: 1/15/2012
Paint a verbal portrait of an ideal physician (or dentist) and tell us about the experiences that you have had which have helped to shape this ideal.

I think I just drew a masterpiece. My portrait in front of me truly pictures how I will look as a doctor. My eyes are shining with kindness. My glasses radiate intelligence. I have a smile that says confidence, a neat haircut that emits focus, and, of course, a long white doctor's coat that speaks professionalism and experience. But then, I accidentally dropped this picture into the X-ray machine!

I stared disheartened, as all my superficial features vanished; it is replaced with 78 organs, 208 bones, and over 600 muscles. Then, three parts stood out to me: the hands, brain, and heart.

A doctor's hands perform miracles. Therefore, it needs to be fast and agile. I think my hands are up to the task. Playing the piano since I was four, they have had ample exercise. While in elementary school, I impressed my fellow students and teachers during the talent shows playing songs by Beethoven and Mozart. My teachers remarked, "Keep your hands safe; they will do great things in the future." I agree, but instead of entertainment, I want my hands to heal. As a doctor, I will be handy in any situation.

A doctor's brain makes life or death decisions. A doctor has to not only think fast but also think with from different perspectives. Thinking from the patient's standpoint is just as important as thinking as a doctor. I believe my insatiable hunger for knowledge will assist me in becoming a doctor. In my senior year, I am taking four A.P. courses: Physics, Calculus, U.S. Government, and English Literature. While I love math and science, English confuses me to no end. Yet, I was compelled to take all four classes because I know each subject has its own merit. I believe focusing on a single subject will only blind me from other areas. It is this inspiration that also lead me to take college courses in Sociology and Psychology. In fact, I will be taking another course, "Introduction to Philosophy," on January 29th. I chase these opportunities because I want to expand my horizon. With a more knowledgeable background, I know I will be able to make better decisions as a doctor.

The heart is the most important part of being a doctor. After all, doctors cure patients and not diseases. It is important to be compassionate to patients. In fact, it is my love for helping others that helped me choose the medical field. I discovered this passion while volunteering at Clove Lakes Rehabilitation Center. It was the connection I felt with the residents and staffs that really inspired me. The residents would occasionally come up to me and thank me. One of my bosses even told me that he always looks forward to summers because that is when volunteers come. Whether it was helping residents in wheelchairs or lessening the workload of staff members, the ability to see the gratification on their faces filled me with joy. It is this same fervor that I will bring to the medical field. I know that I will strive to put my patient's welfare first.

Thank you for reading my essay. Any comments will be greatly appreciated. Please be critical in pointing out tone, structural, or grammatical errors. I tried to make my essay stand out but is the beginning too hard to understand?

TY and Happy New Year!

Undergraduate / 'Talented students / Science work / Study growth' - GWU+ honor Supplements [5]

Due Date:1/10/12
1.Please answer the following question in approximately 300 words. What is it about GW's honors program that attracts your interest?

It is easy to say why I am attracted to the University Honors Program. I am currently attending Staten Island Technical High School. I am in a class of only 226 students, so I can see the benefits of a small compact community. Another desired aspect is UHP's wide range of courses. With UHP's highly personal and scholastic atmosphere, I know UHP has an environment suitable for me.

I truly love how this program groups talented students together. Its small class sizes allow everyone to work as a team, to tackle challenges together, to allow the professor to become a mentor and not just a lecturer, and to grow mutually. The ability to connect with the professors is what really makes this program unique. Co-curricular programs like "Professors on the Town," the University Honors Symposia and Professors in the Pub debates are events I hope to be a part of.

In addition, I feel I am in tune with the program idealistically as well. I love to challenge myself academically. In my senior year, I am taking four A.P. courses: Physics, Calculus, U.S. Government, and English Literature. While I love math and science, English confuses me to no end. Yet, I was compelled to take all four classes because I know each subject has its own merit. I feel that knowledge is limitless and will take any opportunity I can to expand my horizon and I know UHP has the same attitude. Therefore, at UHP, I will be surrounded by peers who share my passion. I want to join the University Honors Program to discover everything it has to offer. (270 words)

2.The nineteenth-century philosopher John Stuart Mill once wrote that "one person with a belief is equal to a force of 99 who have only interests." Tell us about one of your beliefs ï how you came to it, why you hold on to it, what has challenged it, and what you imagine its influence will be on your education or pursuits. (500 words)

"We can't allow science to undo its own good work."
- Aldous Huxley, Brave New World, Ch. 17

When I look around, what do I see? I see families giving love. I see libraries offering knowledge. I see schools giving education, hospital saving lives, nursing homes caring for elders, churches uniting communities, and people with their own individual goals. Yet, I once read a book that depicts a world with none of the above. Aldous Huxley's revealing novel, Brave New World, serves as an admonition of a world that could be our future, a future brought upon by abusing scientific innovation.

In the Brave New World, Huxley illustrates a utopia, in which disease, aging, and crime have all been eliminated. However, despite all these improvements, it is clear from the very first paragraph that the utopia is anything but perfect. Cloning, eugenics, abusing anti-depressants, and euthanasia are common in this futuristic society. Reproduction is controlled within factories. Kids are subjected to strict conditioning to prepare them for their predetermined jobs. In this society art, literature, and religion are sacrificed for social stability. In this society human nature is sacrificed for social stability.

I used to always believe that medical advancements were the key to a better future. Think how much faster progress would be if no restrictions were implemented. However, from reading this book, I discovered that ethics are even more crucial. Compromising our morals for the sake of advancement is dangerous. In the book, emotions were taken out of the equation, which led to the deterioration of human nature. Since I want to pursue a career in medicine, this has led me to question my own morals. In my head, one topic cascades to another. Is cloning humans morally correct? Is euthanasia mercy or murder? What should animal rights include? How far is too far with experiments involving humans? The simplest way to distinguish right from wrong is to never do anything I would not want to have done to myself. Nonetheless, I do not think one person's judgment is adequate. Scientists have already gone too far in many circumstances. Little Albert in 1920, The Monster Study in 1939, and Monkey Drug Trails in 1969 are all examples of events that should not have ever occurred. Patients should be fully informed and given consent before any action is taken.

It is an unfortunate fact that human experimentation still exists, even in the U.S. pharmaceutical companies use experimental drug testing centers to prey on immigrants and minorities. I believe that patients should have full control on decisions affecting their life. I may not know when my morals will be challenged in the future but I do know that I will strive to put my patient's welfare over my own. (459 words)

3.Attach an essay of no more than 500 words indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University (required of all applicants). If you are applying to an accelerated or special program, also explain why you are interested in this program at GW.

It is the location and academic programs of George Washington University that influenced me to apply. I feel attending GWU will open multiple opportunities of exploration, growth, and research in my field of study. With my interest in medicine, I believe the Columbian College of Arts & Sciences is a perfect place to learn and grow. I believe GW University's numerous internship and study abroad programs will provide me with these chances to explore and learn beyond what I can experience in a classroom setting. Opportunities like The Hughes Scholarship Program, Research Experience for Undergraduates, and Undergraduate Fellowships set GWU apart from everywhere else. The idea of working personally with elite faculty members is breathtaking. I know the insight I can find at GWU will be incomparable.

Speaking of incomparable, Washington D.C. is also a place without comparisons. Being the nation's capitol, it is a center for diversity. I mean diversity not only in ethnicity, but also in ideas and events. It is a place where history is made on a daily basis, a place where the brightest minds congregate to share ideas. Washington D.C. is a bustling city which has a lot to offer, and George Washington University will help me take advantage of this. Raised in New York City, I deeply understand that a range of academic interests and personal perspectives adds much to the educational mix. I know I will always speak out my opinions too. As a child, my grandfather passed away from lung cancer. As a result, I cannot understand why people would risk their health to smoke cigarettes. Being genuinely against cigarettes, I will always make an effort to parley my outlook and get my point across. Also, being American-born Chinese, I have learned to infuse my parent's Chinese culture with my own American culture. I will be sure to commune values such as hard work, modesty, politeness, and family. Therefore, I feel the best way to learn is from not only the teachers but also the students around you. I believe at George Washington University, I can, not only further my academic interests but also expand my understanding of the world and gain perspective into other cultures. At George Washington University, I know I will grow both intellectually and personally.(377 words)

Thank you for reading my essays! Please point out any tone, gramatical, or structural errors. Also, I couldnt really think of what to write for my second essay so i used another college essay and just changed a few sentences around, does it still work?

Undergraduate / 'Way to learn / Staten Island / Horrible language' - Tufts Supplements [8]

Due Date: 01/03/2012

1. Which aspects of tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: "Why Tufts?" 50-100 words

I have always sought out challenges, anything to get ahead from the rest. For that reason, Tufts is the perfect match; its academic challenges and undergraduate research opportunities will pave my road to a successful future. Another desirable aspect to Tufts is its diversity. Raised in New York City, I deeply understand that a range of academic interests and personal perspectives adds much to the educational mix. Therefore, I feel the best way to learn is from not only the teachers but also the students around you. At Tufts I know I will grow both intellectually and personally. (98 words)

2. There is a Quaker saying: "Let your life speak." Describe the environment in which you were raised - your family, home, neighborhood, or community - and how it influenced the person you are today. 200-250 words

Born in the modest suburb known as Staten Island... raised half way across the world. When I was thirteen months old, my parents decided, based on their financial situation, to move me to China to live with my grandparents. The four years in China gave me many things. It gave me a Chinese accent, which consequently made me more subconscious of when to talk. However, it also taught me Chinese and how to play the piano, as well as giving me a closer relationship with my grandparents.

Hidden in Chinese is the key to unlocking my family's culture. Like any language, it is nearly impossible to translate Chinese without losing some of its meaning. Without Chinese, my parents wouldn't of been able to convey the values they have been brought up with: the importance of time, hard work, and selflessness.

When I was four, my grandmother taught me to play the piano. Now fourteen years later, I can play the piano along with two other instruments: clarinet and saxophone. If there was one thing I learned from my music teachers, it is that music is a gift worth passing to others.

My relationship with my grandparents showed me how family look out for one another. My grandparents took on the burden of raising a child when my parents could not. With them, I realized that family is the most important thing in my life. Over time, I realized what I've gained are treasures that I will keep forever. (248 words)

3. For the second short response, we ask you to consider the world around you. Now, consider the world within. Taste in music, food, and clothing can make a statement while politics, sports, religion, and ethnicity are often defining attributes. Are you a vegetarian? A poet? Do you prefer YouTube or test tubes, Mac or PC? Are you the drummer in an all-girl rock band? Do you tinker? Use the richness of your identity to frame your personal outlook. 200-250 words

It is hard to describe myself in words. To quote my current physics teacher, "English is a horrible language to describe the world; that is why Newton invented calculus." Now, lets say f(x) represents a normal day.

Function: I woke up and got dress myself with whatever I could find on the floor. I did not brush my hair and prepared to leave for school. I arrived at school and sat through my four A.P. classes. Then I returned home.

Derivative: I woke up half asleep. To this day, I still haven't resorted to drinking coffee. While at my summer internship, the Physician Assistant made a bet that I wouldn't last through college without a cup of coffee; I intend to win this bet. I got dressed. I absolutely refuse to pay fifty dollars for shirts and jeans. I will wear anything that fits me. My hair has stayed the same way for twelve years. If I brush it one way, it will just fall back to its original shape. I think my hair got its personality from me. I won't conform to outside pressure either. When I find something new, I don't tackle it in a normal pace; I devourer it. This is most evident when my A.P. English teacher gives out a new book. She advises us to read a little per night. I, on the other hand, find myself at 3AM with the book glued to my hands.

By now you have graphed the slopes to a twelve-hour closed interval function. I hope graph comes out to be a polynomial and not an irrational function. (268 words)

Please comment on the tone, structure, or grammatical flaws (or strong points). I will really really appreciate any comments any of you may have.

oh and a somewhat related question: Exactly how strict is Tufts' word limit? Is it suggestive or "U BETTER NOT HAVE A WORD OVER OR WE ARE CUTTING THE ENDING OFF!!!11"

Thank you for reading my essays.