Scholarship / I am keen on economics, philosophy and politics ;SCHOLARSHIP [NEW]

Hello,
I need someone to revise my scholarship application, but I cannot publish it on public forum, because if I did, I could be accused of plagiarism and my application would be rejected.

Thanks very much and please do not be afraid of being critical to me.

Please provide a personal statement in English in which you (i) indicate all schools to which you intend to apply, including the reasons which led you to this selection, (ii) specify the subject matter of your future studies, and (iii) explain how studying abroard ï as opposed to studying at a Czech university ï will contribute to your future plans. Please also briefly describe your plans if you do not win the scholarship and specify which other scholarships you are considering applying for.

(i) I decided to apply for the University of Cambridge, the University of Oxford, the London school of Economics and political science. I am convinced that the reasons of my choice are absolutely clear; these universities are considered to be among the best worldwide. They are commonly appreciated by world's famous economists and financial magazines. Studying there would enable me to develop my skills, to get to know with some renowned scientists, and thus help to do the job I like. I will also apply for the University of Luxembourg, but for slightly different reasons: Luxembourg is located in an administrative centre of EU, which means that there are lots of interesting thinkers (statesmen, philosophers, lawyers,..). Being there would be a great opportunity for me to achieve better understanding of EU or, better, globalisation per se. The quality of this the University of Luxembourg is not as high as the excellence of the previous mentioned, but it still belongs among important centres of education.

(ii) I would like to study economics, or a combination economics, philosophy and politics (at Oxford). My particular area of interest is behavioural economics, which means using more psychological methods in economics in order to make it closer to reality, in contrast with simplifying theories that are being employed very often nowadays.

(iii) Studying abroad would contribute very propitiously to my plans. AT every university that I have chosen, you can find the greatest masterminds of economic thinking. Being in touch with them, having the possibility to exchange ideas with the top researchers are factors that attract me to studies abroad. If I omit the level of these schools, there still remain some advantages to mention, for example, I would improve my English language skills, come to know different culture and meet more foreign students, which is not little.

(iv) If I do not win the scholarship, I will apply for some others. If I were not successful, I would study economics in the Czech Republic, possibly in combination with philosophy, or sociology. I contemplate applying for scholarship offered by the universities. Unfortunately, most of the scholarships tendered by independent organisations are designed for graduate or doctoral students. The choice of undergraduate scholarships is not that wide. Therefore my selection consists of this scholarship (Zdenek Bakala Foundation) and various kinds of support by particular universities or governments (LSE scholarship, Cambridge living costs grant, UK government support, and Luxembourg government support).

Please list your principal extracurricular activities, including major accomplishments, such as sports and musical instruments played, theater projects, volunteer activities etc.

I am keen on economics, philosophy and politics so I am always trying to combine these areas in my activities. Recently, my attention is being drawn mostly by the affairs of European Union. I wrote a paper on it and now I am working on more thorough research that would lead to an in-depth study exploring EU from different points of view, its benefits, drawbacks and potential future changes. After completing it, I would like to explore the impacts of financial crisis on people's thinking about the membership in EU (mainly Czech euro-scepticism) and inquire the influence of media on it.

In addition, I am keen on getting valuable professional experience, which is why I started working as a part-time financial consultant. My career in this field has just begun, therefore I do not really work yet, but I attend lectures to earn the necessary qualifications. This helps me hugely with understanding market system, which, I believe, may significantly contribute to my education.

As I really like writing, I joined EssayForum.com - a webpage gathering people who are interested in writing or who want to improve their English in order to study in an English speaking country. I achieved having a status of Contributor, which is awarded to members that constantly provide others' essays with high-quality comments and valuable remarks.

My passion towards societal problems makes me an enthusiastic attendant of Masaryk's Debates ï an event organised by university students. There are always very professional speakers invited to discuss various topics. Two of them agree with the theme, the other two disagree. Therefore their opinions are confronted in a very interesting way.

I used to do many things that I do not anymore, but they can still tell something about me. I played in a students' theatre (I ended, because it was really time consuming). I would do karate, musado (a South-Korean self-defence system) and judo. One day, I got hurt at my karate lesson and even though I am entirely fit, now, my parents refused to pay for my lessons again. I must admit I understand them.

Generally, I love discussing interesting ideas with interesting people, because I believe that it is the best way to enrich one's knowledge as Socrates used to do it all the time.

Language skills (please specify which languages you speak, how long and where you have studied them, assess the level of your knowledge and provide the results of any official language tests you have taken, e.g. CPE, DELF, DALF, TestDAF and others).

I speak English fluently. Presently, I do not have any commonly acknowledged certificate except for one from Kaplan International Colleges (level C 1), which is recognised by the British Council, but not accepted by universities. I have been studying this language for almost 9 years at school as well as at language courses and by myself. My plan is to take the IELTS exam in October to acquire the necessary requirements for applying. According to my current knowledge of English, I believe that it will not be a problem to score enough points.

The second language that I study at school is French. I have been learning it for 3 years, which means that do not speak it as fluently as English. I obtained a DELF certificate two years ago. Nowadays, my estimated level would be B1/B2.

I know a little Russian, which I learnt as an autodidact and later with help of a native speaker. I can make myself understood in Russian, even though it sometimes looks funny.

Thank you very much for your suggestions.

Scholarship / An Essay on Quotations (scholarship) [3]

Hello. Here is a scholarship essay. I will appreciate any comments and corrections. Thanks in advance.

On Quotations

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.

Robert Benchley

How many times have you heard that e equals m times c square? I believe a lot. But who of us is really aware of the meaning of this famous equation? For instance, I am not; I just know that it represents some information about relativity of space and that it has destroyed preceding axioms used in physics. People began to use it as a sign of education or intellect. Some of them write it on their notebooks trying to look smart notwithstanding that they have not even the slightest idea of the sense of those letters. In addition, m, c and e taken from the context lose their meaning. We cannot know what they stand for; once they stand alone, they remain representing merely three signs of alphabet, which does not make them any special. Swellheads often extract ingenious quotations and repeat them in order to give an expression of cleverness. Unfortunately, not only they, but the authors seem strange to the people ignorant of the significance of those words. If you did not know Einstein and someone told you: e= m*c square, would you consider Einstein a genius?

Quotations are being misused by numerous people in different situations on various purposes, but rarely are explained to listeners to prevent them from misperception. Moreover, speakers themselves frequently utter words of some significant personality to enrich their speeches, although they make no sense used that way. Ironically, this habit is caused by appreciation of broad horizons. We awake feelings of having them by learning a few phrases by heart without reading the books, in which they are contained, or studying complicated theories. Provided that we do not harm anyone by this behaviour, there is no apparent reason for stopping it. Oh wait, at least one: we lie to ourselves as well as to our friends...

So should we quote at all? Sure, however suitable conditions are necessary to accomplish the best outcome. Imagine yourself playing dice. It is your turn, you are mingling them in hand, then cast them, you get all the sixes, and then you crown it by stating: Alea iacta est (The die is cast). No one may doubt your general knowledge and you build a reputation of an amusing person.

Another Caesar's quotation can come in hand if your friend called Brutus surprises you. Telling him: "Et tu, Bruté? ," in reaction definitely helps you get over the moment of embarrassing silence.

Right, and now little more seriously. You may have noticed that my essay began with a quotation which, I believe, indicates my positive relation to their usage. Great wisdom is often hidden in a very short sentence, or a brief speech, patiently waiting to be revealed. A couple of words can easily substitute long-lasting orations expressing clearly the main thought of the speaker which is why we keep and repeatedly use quotations of eminent personalities. For me, it is always important to esteem the author of a quotation; I could not derive anything from Rosseau's book about education regardless to the fact that he left his own kids at children's home. I need to respect the originator to be able to adhere what he has said.

On the contrary, even adopting genial thoughts may have some drawbacks suppressing the own ones. You have to find an advantageous compromise which enables you to be inspired while you are working on your ideas; to avail the best parts of both simultaneously. Quotations can thus broaden your perspective and not restrict your insights, which is their main objective.

In conclusion, I am convinced that inaccurate or incomplete quotation makes a monkey not only from the author of it, but from the speaker who uses it as well. Therefore we should evade quoting words of which meaning we do not have thorough information. This will pre-empt making fools of ourselves and help us be taken seriously. If you want to quote, study; do not make the same mistake as I did when I copy pasted the opening quotation of this essay. I have no idea who Robert Benchley is.

Scholarship / Hypocrisy Essay / Civil Disobedience [4]

Hello. This is a scholarship application essay. Any comments welcome. Thanks in advance.

On Hypocrisy

I sit on a man's back, choking him, and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by any means possible, except getting off his back.

Writings on Civil Disobedience and Nonviolence (1886)
Leo Tolstoy

Hypocrisy - an ailment of contemporary people. We are always trying to make an impression of goodness whereas our intentions are unclear and purposes dishonest. Thus speak many moralists whose inferences may be a little exaggerated, but not completely untrue. Where are those days of bandits mugging stagecoaches on roads, saying: "Hands up," with a plain purpose of stealing your money? They evaporated as the times are changing, leaving us an entirely diverse kind of villains which is harder to recognise and therefore by far more dangerous. You can see them every day without any knowledge of their viciousness. Finally, who would guess that a decently looking clerk works as a computer hacker and violates people's privacy instead of earning by doing a legal job? Nowadays, a long beard is not an attribute of villains anymore.

Furthermore, one group of bandits thrives these days tremendously. Media have ascribed them a designation 'controversial entrepreneurs'. The funny thing about this collocation is that everyone knows what it means; it serves as a synonym for the word thief. Thieves like these are elegant people, usually with great rhetorical abilities; persuasive and engaging which is the reason why so many people believe them and do not hesitate to entrust their money to such manipulators. Moreover these villains are intelligent enough to participate in political elections and to win a public authority, consequently. We should be aware of ingenious villains, because being bad represents a lucrative business for them.

On the contrary, lots people are hypocritical merely for the social conventions' demands. They allow the rules to master them, oppress them; to control every second of their life. They don't want to seem bad, so they are striving to make friends with everyone, even if they detest him, just because it is normal. In my view, this is the most stupid form of hypocrisy that has ever existed, although it has some benefits in a way people see you. But is it worth being someone else? Not for me.

In conclusion, I would like to express my deepest contempt for hypocrisy as a means of sustaining kind relations. On the other hand, I cannot condemn it as a tactics designed to deceive people, because it works beyond every doubt. This does not imply my approval of malicious techniques, I am just pointing up that hypocrisy need not be only a constraint, but can be availed in an artful manner, too. Provided hypocrisy hides real people's feelings it often causes misunderstandings. Then paradoxically, a simplifying tool becomes a burden worsening mutual relations by its perplexity. Can a give you a piece of advice? If you have an option, avoid hypocrisy and everything will be much easier.

Writing Feedback / Student to Pay Tuition Fees? - Yes or No [3]

Hello everyone. Here is my new essay, this time about tuition fees. I will appreciate any comments, corrections and so on. Thanks in advance and I will be happy to hear/read your opinions.

Tuition Fees

Should university students pay tuition fees? This question provoked a massive wave of demonstrations not only among the students alone, but among a variety of other groups in the Czech Republic. As they are convinced that education ought to be free and available to everyone they decided to express their fundamental disapproval of any obstacles restricting accessibility of university studies to anyone. The problem is that Czech schools' budgets lack in money badly as well as the state itself (Majority of Czech schools is public.). Some demonstrators blame government of fixing holes in state budget by getting more money from them which seems to be a justifiable inference.

Financial crisis struck harshly and expenditures had to be cut down on. Yet the arrangements taken seem to be insufficient. Government ushered higher taxes in spite of their promises never to do it. They are saving on everything, even though it often proves ineffective or unnecessary. Provided that students' perception of tuition fees vanishing in state's cash box emerges to be alarmingly close to the probable scenario.

If tuition fees definitely remained to schools, the law would not gather but a part of its dissenters. Compared to developed countries, Czech Republic catastrophically falls behind as for the money invested in education (It's 3 % GDP, by the way.). No one doubts that these numbers need to be increased and many people would agree on introducing fees as a means of enhancing the universities' quality. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee of tuition fees contributing to schools' budgets which disquiets students and educational experts. They believe that schools should serve people, and not become a government's greed victim. In addition, some support not paying at all. In my perception, they just don't realise the situation properly and are unaware of difficulties the economy surmount.

In a different aspect, this kind of discussions always raises a question of impecunious students. Their right to education is commonly acknowledged here, although we miss scholarship attributing systems. The reason is simple: There was no need of them before. This system would have to be established with the tuition fees; otherwise universities could lose many great minds and potential scientists because of their poverty. The new mechanisms' implementation would take some time to plan before it would be able to be launched. Regrettably, projecting demands patience which have neither government, nor demonstrators.

In addition, there is excess of students applying for every university in the Czech Republic, therefore schools could be prone to accept applicants from a rich background regardless to their abilities if the fee was introduced. This would lead to elite schools full of affluent people and the rest would have to settle for the worse ones. Off course, this is a genuinely negative scenario, but provided that every twentieth Czech attends university not so unlikely. In order to prevent themselves from being flooded with bad students, universities would have to take some necessary steps, e. g. tighten up their entrance requirements. Thus their reputation would be built up, their money supplies remain uninterrupted and the quality of students would not drop.

Other contra-argument says that the introduction of low school fees is merely a pretext for their future raising. I find this claim irrational. Nowadays, educated inhabitants are an essential component for developed state's function. Politicians are aware of this fact and it would be silly of them to deprive prospective students of education by extremely high fees that they could not afford to pay. Moreover, it would show immensely financially disadvantageous for educated people usually benefit the state significantly more than the others. Once we assume the government not to be out of wit, the argument mentioned makes no sense.

To summarise my thoughts, I believe that tuition fees could greatly contribute to the quality of schooling in the Czech Republic. But I am not sure whether the government's plans are contemplated well, and whether the proposal is not just a method of solving problems originated elsewhere. Furthermore, government have done a few missteps during the crisis so far, hence I fear this could be one more of them; ill-conceived solution made in a hurry and recoiling on our economy later. Sensible citizens should defy these half-baked policies to defend own interests and to pre-empt dangerous mistakes of politicians. Government ought to listen to the voice of public at last sometimes and either come with a better resolution, or give up the idea of tuition fees per se. As I mentioned earlier, I am not strictly against paying for enhanced education, however I must strictly refuse incomplete government's drafts, because they would cause more harm than assets. Therefore I am obliged to say no; not now and not in this way.

Writing Feedback / Bribery in Politics and Corruption in Government Essay [3]

Hello everyone. Here is my essay on corruption in governments, particularly in the Czech Republic where I live.
I'll be happy for anyone's comments or corrections. Thanks in advance.

Bribery Among Politicians

A massive evidence of corruption among the Czech political structures has emerged recently producing a passionate discussion about the depravity of government functionaries. Unsurprisingly, people are disgusted. Bribery seems to be thriving everywhere, even amongst the members of parliament. One has no idea whom to trust; likeable candidates turn out to be greedy businessmen with a briefcase full of plans how to silently steal money from the national budget. Some ascribe the vastness of corruption to the preceding regime - communism. Those days, bribery was the only way of gaining access to the things unavailable for ordinary citizen. I am convinced that this is only a part of the truth. Blaming of past events facilitates the incentives too much.

Provided our leniency corruption doesn't have many constraints to overcome. Our indulgence is often abused by various villains. In addition, our laws are benevolent towards bribers which results in a common contempt for them. Czech Republic even achieved being written about in The Economist - a former city mayor of Prague Pavel Bem was proven guilty of enforcing his friend's commercial interests during his administration.

Moreover, one of governing parties, Veci verejne (Public Affairs) shows noteworthy signs of bribery inside itself. Recently, a court has sentenced two of its ministers. Ironically, this party declared itself to be a great warrior against corruption. They should have been a new force that would purify our politics. What a disappointment.

In conclusion, I want to offer a few possible steps to take in order to evade seeing dishonest behaviour in the government. Firstly, we must not tolerate any bribery, not even in a really small extent. We have to accuse and judge those who violate our laws. And to end with, the regulations should be made more strict so as deter every potential sinner.

Writing Feedback / History - a real science, or a meaningless waste of students' time? [2]

Hi. Here is my new essay. I'll appreciate any corrections of my grammar thoughts or anything you can think of. Thanks in advance.

History

Some people, and not only historians, claim that history is the queen of science. Others argue refusing to admit history the status of science for its particularly descriptive character. Their demand sciences to be able to infer consequences from previous events and calculations and to make predictions based on them. But where would philosophy, psychology and political science belong, then? In my opinion, this terminological war's aim is to belittle the importance of history. Provided that every science teaches students its own history I don't believe anyone may be serious about contempt for this essential part of human identity.

When a scientist is out of ideas, when he is seeking for an inspiration, when a crisis occur, he must inevitably take advice from history; in order to move forward we have to look to the past. Moreover, nation's history forms its foundation stones, which means: the identity, customs and traditions don't appear by themselves suddenly; they are drawn from history.

In contrast, ignominious incidents often annoy citizens, making them feel coward and unimportant for the deeds of their ancestors. Coming to terms, overcoming and if possible learning from past mistakes are the means to use so as to be proud of what is worth of being proud of and not to shy about things that cannot be changed. Tyrants often avail the feeling of oppression sensed by people to fanaticise nation against chosen enemy. They distort historical facts, emphasise every harm done to citizens, exaggerate its significance, and persuade people to establish due revenge. If citizens knew the truth, they wouldn't be so prone to succumb to manipulative techniques. On this purpose, teaching some essential knowledge of history seems to be crucial part of education.

Students don't like learning by heart. Today's trend follows the rule of remembering the necessary minimum and focusing on various methods how to derive the rest by thinking. However I myself don't have great memory, I'm convinced that there are some facts which we must know without any protracted contemplating. In addition, not many data in history can be inferred from others if you don't have a complex insight into the concerning period of time which is harder to achieve than simply memorising few facts. Furthermore, acquaintance with even basic historical contexts may make a great impress on your friends; it can become a theme of conversation, which makes you look like an interesting clever person, consequently.

In conclusion, I want to summarise the impact of knowing history described earlier. It can save lives, make you look smart, give you a feeling of pride and very often inspire you which is, I would say, not little. History is worth occupying anyone's time being a science or not.