Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay,"Teachers should take courses or training to upgrade" [4]

Hi,

Request you to please check and correct my essay. I mentioned the reasons which came in my mind while writing, any other reasons would be appreciated. Thanks:)

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Teachers should take a course or training to upgrade their knowledge.
Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In today's fast paced world, everyone needs to get themselves upgrade in all areas and teachers are the most important person in our life after parents. When kids first time enter in a school teacher is the first person with whom he or she spent time without parents so, teacher's role is very important after parents to make the kids career. We all can see the difference between each generation. Every next generation is advanced than the previous one. So, taking course or training is the need of an hour and therefore teachers should take that to upgrade their knowledge.

Knowledge is vast and our whole life is also not sufficient to obtain all that knowledge. Education system is also improving day by day. I remember when I was in school, I never knew about the computers. I took some private computer courses after schooling then I got some knowledge about computers. Nowadays, computer is the compulsory subject for all students from first grade. So, it is not compulsory that all teachers should have all knowledge about everything. They also need to upgrade themselves to teach. I remember our Principal, a very eager person to learn any new thing. Not only to learn but he always utilize his knowledge to improve the education system. Every year he attends various seminars in abroad and learns something new. He also gives chance to other teachers to attend that seminar and allows other teachers from that country to exchange their knowledge with us. Such training and seminars help to motivate the teachers.

On the other hand, there are many schools which are equipped with technologies but, teachers do not know how to use it so there is no use of that technology. Proper training and courses are necessary to use that technology. Researchers did some search on it, in that they compared result of students who were under the guidance of trained teachers and students who were under the guidance of untrained teachers and it is observed that result of students who were under the guidance of trained teachers is much more better than that of the other ones. So, proper training to the teachers can help to make student's career bright.

Finally, proper training and advance courses play a vital role in every field but, teachers are the first person who learns first and then teach to kids. Kid learns to learn from teachers only so, their knowledge needs to upgrade first.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Ess; development of housing or industry is also profitable but not healthy [4]

Hi,

Please check and correct my TOEFL essay.

In your country, is there more need for land to be left in its natural condition or is there more need for land to be developed for housing and industry? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

I think, in my country means in India, there is need for land to be left in its natural condition because current population of India is near about 1.22billlion and it is increasing day by day. Rising population automatically helps to increase housing and industry in country especially in Metro Politian cities. I think that if there will be more land to be left in its natural condition then, it can save us from many problems like health and environmental problems.

To start with, my first reason is health issues. There is saying that, "Healthy Nature, Healthy People" In today's fast paced world, we can see that, people do not have to time to take care of their heath. They are busy in their work and spend their whole day in office sitting under A/c. They are not at all in touch with nature, this causes various health problems. Doctor's suggestion for these issues is to go for walk in fresh air or spend more time in nature. I think that, there is need to take care of nature around us to stay healthy. If there will be more greenery around us instead of buildings and complex then we can save ourselves from such health problems.

We hardly can see open places or grounds in Metro Politian cities. Not only Metro Politian cities but many small villages are also turning into big cities by developing housing and industries. Everywhere there is buildings and commercial complexes. People need to go far away from their place to feel natural beauty such as on hills stations and national parks. Nowadays, these places are also becoming crowded. People started many small businesses there and they think that home should also be near from work place so they started moving to such places. This disturbs nature's beauty which causes environmental imbalances. Nowadays, we can feel effects of global warming. All these are due to human creations. I think, one day will come when there will not be land in its natural condition. This can have dangerous effect on us. So, to stay away from such dangerous situation there is a need to maintain environmental balance.

Finally, it is true that, development of housing or industry is also profitable but not healthy. I believe that health comes first and to stay healthy maintaining environmental balance is important and we can maintain that by keeping some land in its natural condition.

Thank,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Popularity of movies in all over the world. [4]

Hi everyone,

Request you to please check my essay and correct it. (any suggestions are always welcome)

Movies are popular all over the world. Explain why movies are so popular. Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.

In early days, movies were not as popular as today. Nowadays, movies are one of the most popular part of entertainment. Everyone wants something to enjoy and watching movie is one of the best option for entertainment and I think that, this is the most important reason of why movies are most popular in all over the world. Popularity of movies made this film industry very big in all over the world, as a result it created an employment in every country.

To start with, first reason which is entertainment. Watching movies is one of our favorite weekend time pass. There are various types of movies such as action, thriller, comedy and animated. People watch movies to make themselves relax. Watching movie helps them to keep away from their day to day work and tensions. Some action, thriller and suspense movies take us in the different world. We can forget all our tensions after watching such movies and get back to our life with fresh mood. We can get different types of knowledge from movies like knowledge about history such movies keep historical events live. There are some sports related movies which are very inspirational. I always get inspired by such sports and action based movies. Animated movies are also very interesting movies. Bollywood and Hollywood are the two large and most popular industries in all over the world.

In addition, Film industry plays a vital role in the economic development of the country. There are various other small business attached to this industry for example, to produce any movie, there is need of actors, actresses, sub actors, story writer, dancer, choreographer, camera man, make up man, costumes, studio and different sets. Without all these no movie can be produce. Once movie will be produce then promotion or advertisement is necessary to run that movie, so advertisement industry also plays a vital role to make movies popular. Now, we can see there are various universities where students take education to enter in this industry. It has also become an important field to make a career.

Finally, I think that, entertainment, positive response from public, awareness and employment these are some of the important reasons behind the popularity of movies.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: "Reasons to work other than earning money" [9]

Hi,

Request you to please check my essay and correct it. Any suggestions appreciated.

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

Money is important to live and to earn that money people need to work. This is one of the main reasons of working but, I believe that, money is not everything we cannot buy happiness with money. There are many other reasons of working such as to gain experience, volunteering, to help others and for physical and mental exercise which give satisfaction to people. These people work for happiness, satisfaction and relaxation and not for money.

The first reason to work is to gain an experience. There are many students who work to gain an experience and not for money. Some students do part time job while studying. Some students work full time after completing their education to gain a practical experience without salary. In my own experience, I used to do a part time job while doing my master just to gain a practical experience. That was my first job and I learned many important things there. The most important thing is that, an organization in which I was working allowed me to complete my project work there. That was very useful because whatever I was learning in college, the same work I was practicing on my work. That was a practical experience which was more important at that stage than money. So, some people work to earn experience.

The second reason is some people like to do social services such as volunteering. Many people do volunteering in Library or in Community. We can see many old age people do such work for the sake of satisfaction and not for money. Not only old age people do these works but youngsters also do. For example, I regularly go in library there I met many old age people who work as a volunteer and they enjoy their work. One day, I talked to one lady there, she is retired person and she works there because she wants to do some social service and wants to make new friend and by doing this she can spend her time in something good. I was inspired by her I also applied for volunteer. Now I am also working as a volunteer in a library and help others to teach computers. So, providing services can also be a reason of work.

In addition, some people like to help others. They cannot seat idle. There is a saying that, "Idle mind is the devils workshop" and I think this is true. For example, my uncle John, He is very friendly and helping in nature. He likes to help others and he always keeps himself busy in work. If does not have any work, then he goes to do community services. He believes that helping others gives him satisfaction with physical and mental exercise. Many people want to educate and share their knowledge with others. For example, all moderators and contributors on essay forum check our essays and help us to improve our English for free. We all must have read the slogan on forum which is, "the biggest reward is helping others" and it is absolutely true.

Finally, I believe that, not all people work for money and earning money is not only their reason to work. There are many reasons of working other than earning money such as helping others, gaining experience, volunteering and the like which give people a happiness and satisfaction.

Thanks,

Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: machine made goods are cheaper and more durable than handmade ones [7]

Hi All,

Request you to please check my essay. (Especially Grammar and sentence structure) any new ideas and suggestions appreciated.

Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer - items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

Today, we can see technology has developed a lot. Most of works can be done by machines. However, the significance of handmade products is hard to ignore. In fact, each handmade item has an artistic worth behind, which should be considered. In early days, when there were no machines people used to do most of their work by hand but now individuals have diverse options. They can use items made by machines and I believe that, if such developed machines are available to do the same work then why should we waste time and energy for creating that products by hand.

I would like to use items made by machines because I believe that, machine made goods are cheaper than handmade ones. For example, this weekend we visited Amish Community. Farming and making wood furniture are their source of income. They did not use any technology or any machines for this. All work can be done by hand like, in the process of making furniture, they have to cut the wood, shape it, fix it and then polish it. On the other hand, using machines for conducting this process could reduce the required work force and production rate could also increase. As workforce increases, price of the product also increases and therefore price of handmade items are costly than machine made goods. We can also see many other things like cloths with handmade embroidery work, Home decors, Paintings and the like which are more costly than machine made ones.

In addition, handmade goods are beautiful but not as much durable as machine made items. In my own experience, we used dining mats which had a handmade embroidery work on it. We hardly used it for one and half month and after second wash, all work made by hand on that mats was gone. Now, we bought mats with machine made work on it and we are using that from last three months. We washed it for three to four times but still it looks like new. So, I do not think that handmade goods are more durable than machine made.

Finally, I believe that machine made items have a long life than items handmade ones. These are cheaper, affordable and durable plus it saves time and energy. So, I would prefer to choose items made by machines.

@ Vickey: There is no question of being an angry. I am really happy that you read my essay and suggested something. I would like to debate on anything which will enhance by TOEFL score..:)

Now, come to the point.. Yes, I do agree with you, I cannot say that machine made items are stronger than handmade. Actually, in my first essay, I wanted to explain about durability and in my second essay, I tried to clear my ideas with examples. Hope after reading this essay, you might have got my ideas behind my opinion.

Good Luck!

any suggestions and corrections appreciated:)

Thank you dear all for your reviews.

Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Compare different modes of transportation to travel. [3]

Hi,

Request you to please check my compare and contrast essay.

You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles (64 kilometers) away. Compare the different kinds of transportation you could use. Tell which method of travel you would choose. Give specific reasons for your choice.

Travelling is one of my favorite activity. If I have to go 40 miles away from my place then I would like to go by my car because I am leaving in suburb. There are no more direct options of public transportation from my place. There are public transportation in our state like trains and buses but frequency of buses is very less from our city.

To begin with, main reason of choosing a car is I like driving and 40 miles is not a long distance to drive for me. It will not take too much time to reach the destination. It hardly takes an hour if you go by 40 miles per hour from my place and if you go with the speed more than 40 miles per hour then you can reach in less than an hour. On the other hand, I think that public transportation is not convenient and comfortable for travelling from our place. If we want to go by public transportation then we have to travel to other cities and from there we have to catch bus or train to travel. It takes too much time. Instead of going to other cities I would choose to go by my car directly. This will save my time. In addition, car is a comfortable and convenient mode of traveling. I don't have to deal with rush. I also don't have any time binding. I can travel at any time. In public transportation I have to wait and consider their timetable. Many times trains and buses run late in such condition we cannot do anything but when we go by our car control is in our hand.

Finally, I think that car is the safest, convenient and comfortable mode of travelling from our place. Hence, I would like to go by car only.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay: Advantages and disadvantages of sports. [8]

Hi All,

Please check my essay and suggest me about length of essay.

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Who does not like sports? Everyone likes to play. Sport should be a part of everyone's life. Sports help you to stay healthy. Experts suggested that, we all should play or do exercise daily at least for half an hour to stay healthy. I think that children should also spend some time on sports but not all. Many young children spend their more time on sports only which is not good for them. All young children should participate in all activities equally and also learn to balance their routine.

First, starting with advantages of sports, playing sports makes us physically and mentally strong. It keeps us active, fit and healthy. Teamwork is the most important advantage of playing sports which can help us in our professional life. Playing is also fun and part of an entertainment. Playing sports increases our stamina and helps us in dealing with stress. All young children should play at least one sport. They should also learn to maintain their routine with sports which will help them to be disciplined in their life.

On the other hand, excess playing can be a disadvantage of sports. This will keep children away from all other activities like social gatherings, community activities, picnics and many others. This can also have a bad effect on their studies. Sometimes children might have to face physical injuries. I remember, our neighbor's young child he was a very good Ice Hockey player. He used to play a lot and one day he met with an accident and now he cannot even walk. All treatments tried but didn't work. So, sometimes we may have to face such injuries which cannot be treated.

Finally, if we all maintain our routine then we can keep ourselves away from all disadvantages. I believe that, playing sports play a vital role in everyone's lives so not only young children but we all should spend some amount of time in playing.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Is first impression enough to know about person's character..? [4]

Hi,

Some people trust their first impressions about a person's character because they believe these judgments are generally correct. Other people do not judge a person's character quickly because they believe first impressions are often wrong. Compare these two attitudes. Which attitude do you agree with? Support your choice with specific examples.

There are many types of people in this world. Some people are very straight with others and some are not. I don't think that we can judge any person's character in first meeting. When we meet someone first time, it is for sure that he or she will try to behave properly and finely. Not only he or she but we also try to behave properly with them when we meet them first time. Everyone try to behave properly when they meet someone first time. So, I don't think that first impression is enough to know about the person's character.

When I tried to judge someone's character on his first impression, I felt that I was wrong about that person. I believe that, we can judge any person's character only after knowing him or her. We cannot judge about any person's character and give opinion about him only on the basis of his first impression, chances of knowing wrong are more. Once we give our opinion about that person only on the basis of first impression, we lose the chances knowing more about that person. I can explain this with my own experience. I remember after my marriage, first time I met with my husband's friend and then after some days we all went together for our vacation this was our second meeting. There, we played a game in that we had to give our opinion about others. I gave my opinion about him without thinking only on the basis of his first impression but after some days, I felt that I was wrong about him. He is totally different guy and no one can judge about his character in first meeting.

On other hand, many people believe that, "First impression is the last impression" and on that basis they can judge that person's character. But, I cannot judge anyone's character only on his first impression.

Please check my short essay and suggest me some more ideas. I could not explain the other view with examples.

Thank you,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay " Business Research Center OR Agriculture Center" [2]

Hi all,

Please check my short essay on agriculture and help me with some more ideas.

A university plans to develop a new research center in your country. Some people want a center for business research. Other people want a center for research in agriculture (farming). Which of these two kinds of research centers do you recommend for your country? Use specific reasons in your recommendation.

I would recommend a research center for agriculture (farming) in my country. I am from India and India is an agriculture country. About 70% of our population depends on agriculture. 1/3 of national income comes from agriculture. Economy of our country is based on agriculture. So, development of agriculture will help in economic development of country.

All industries need some raw material, many of them are agro based industries like textile, oil industries etc. Agriculture sector provides raw material to such agro based industries like cotton, sugar, oil seeds and many others. Agriculture not only provide raw material to agro based industries but also to other industries. So, agriculture directly or indirectly helps in the development of the business or industries. If research center will develop, then researchers will study current conditions of the country and can guide us accordingly. Researchers will educate the farmers about correct methods of farming; use of pesticides and insecticides; use of fertilizers; use of improved seeds and machineries by considering climate conditions, which will improve and increase agricultural production.

There are many agricultural universities and colleges where researchers can arrange seminars to introduce their new techniques or methods to students. Students can personally experience that and then can try to educate the farmers. There are many other modes of introducing these new methods to people like television advertisements and radio. Government is trying everything which is possible to improve and if research center will develop then no days are away to grow a gold.

Thanks,
Ana.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay " Transportation vehicles: Automobiles, Bicycles OR Airplane" [3]

Hi All,

Can you please grade my essay as per TOEFL grading system?

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people's lives.
1. Automobiles 2. Bicycles 3. Airplanes
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In ancient time, people used to travel by walk everywhere. After some time, they started using animals like horse and camel to travel. As the time went on, man invented vehicles and started using vehicles like bicycle, then motor cycles and cars for travelling then trucks, buses, trains and airplane for travelling and transportation. I think, most important and fastest transportation vehicle is airplane which changes people's lives. Airplane is the fastest mode of transportation which created a big business of transportation in the world.

Airplane transportation or travelling saves our time. We can go anywhere in the world in a very less time by airplane. I think, airplane changes a people's lives in many ways. The most important is we can save our most valuable time by traveling in airplane. Traveling in airplane is costly as compared to other modes of transportation but if it saves our time then is worth it for many people. Time means a lot to the people those who are very busy with their work. For example, Prime Minister of United States lives in a capitol and he has an urgent meeting in Chicago in noon and then he has to finish some other urgent work in New York by evening, in such situation he will choose to travel by airplane so that he can have his breakfast at his place in capitol then can take a flight to attend his Chicago meeting and have his lunch in Chicago after that he can finish his New York work by taking a flight from Chicago to new York and finally, back to his place and have his dinner at his place with his family.

In addition, transportation by airplane helps in economic and social development. It provides access to global market. It connects people, countries and culture. It generates trades and creates jobs. It helps developing nations to link with developed nations which increases a standard of living and removes poverty. So, I think airplane is the best and fastest mode of transportation which changes people's lives.

Thanks,
Ana.