Writing Feedback / IELTS: Economies and the Environment [5]

When a country becomes richer, the natural environment will suffer. It is not possible for a country to both develop its economy and protect the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is stated that the more affluent a country becomes, the more severely the environment is damaged; therefore, it is impossible to develop the economy without making the environment suffer. I do not entirely agree with this statement.

First of all, it is indisputable that many countries are exploiting the environment and its resources to make profit. For years humans have been utilizing non-renewable resources such as gold or platinum to produce goods for domestic use or sell them to countries where these are not available. We are also disturbing the habitats of animals by building factories where they live. This has led to the degradation of the environment. A report demonstrated that after a ten-year period, the people of Australia became wealthier with the annual income rising 0.9%; however, 23% of the habitats of plants and animals were destroyed and the diversity of the ecosystem was reduced.

Nevertheless, I am not wholly convinced that it is not possible to protect the environment and develop the economy at the same time. Some people think a flourishing economy is the result of more advanced technologies and more factories being put into use, which in turn creates a great deal of smog and pollutants. This is true to some extent, yet I am of the opinion that nowadays, scientists are working on modern technologies that are cheap, effective and environmentally friendly. A study, which was carried out in a factory in Germany, showed that after two years of using ecological engineering for wastewater treatment, the level of pollution in the area decreased by 37%. This means that ecofriendly technologies play a crucial role in tackling the negative effects of human beings' activities on the environment.

All in all, it cannot be denied that when a country becomes richer, the environment will suffer from knock-on effects. However, I believe that it is possible to both develop the economy and protect the natural world. If proper measures are taken, there is no reason why a prosperous economy leads to an unhealthy environment.

Could anyone suggest some synonyms for environment and resources? And what kinds of examples can I give besides statistics?
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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: School Spending_Pie Charts [5]

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991, and 2001.
The three pie charts provide information about how money was spent in a UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

First of all, the amount of money spent on insurance increased throughout the three years, from 2% in 1981 to 8% in 2001. In contrast, spending on workers' salaries excluding teachers fell by 13% after a 20-year period.

However, there was a different in the category of resources and teachers' salaries. Annual spending on the former accounted for 15% in 198, rose by 5% ten years later, followed by a drop of 11% in 2001. Similarly, with respect to the latter, 40% of the total school spending went to teachers' salaries in the first recorded year; then in 1991, the percentage reached 50% before decreasing slightly by 5% in 2001. Meanwhile, an opposite trend was witnessed regarding furniture and equipment. The proportion of money spent on this category constituted 15% in 1981 and soared by 18% in 2001 after falling dramatically ten years before.

Overall, it is clear from the charts that most of the total annual school spending was for the staff salaries.

Current word count: 184.
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Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Participation in Extreme Sports_Table [5]

The table below gives information about the participation of 11-14 year-olds by gender in extreme sports in the UK in 2003.
The table compares information about the involvement of boys and girls aged 11 to 14 in five extreme sports in the UK in 2003.

Generally, males outnumbered females in most sports except for rollerblading. According to this, the number of boys who participated in skateboarding was the largest of all with 27.5%, which was almost two times higher than that of girls (13.8%). Similarly, regarding snowboarding, the proportion of male participants was about twice as much as their female counterparts, with 8.1% and 4.0& respectively. Among mountain biking participants, 22.7% were boys and this was 9.4% more than girls. Lastly, there was a slight difference between male and female involvement in mountain climbing, with 10.6% of males comparing to 9.3% of females.

With respect to rollerblading, female participants outnumbered males by 10%, as girls accounted for 31.7% while boys constituted 21.7% making it the only exception out of the five extreme sports.

Current word count is 152. I don't know how to make it longer.
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