Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by joshuanderitu01
Joined: Jun 27, 2012		 Last Post: Aug 12, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 41  

From: Kenya

Displayed posts: 43 / page 1 of 2
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
joshuanderitu01   
Aug 12, 2012
Essays / Key incidents and characterisation in "The Curious Incident ..." [6]

Firstly you should make your ideas real in your essay writing,
meaning that you need to rely on true stories in your mind to create
the statements you write in paragraphs.For example on the topic you give above,
Essay on "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time".You need to show the curiosity
of the situation and show real effects of action about what is happening and why things seem
hard to handle or otherwise.Create characters of different people and support the idea that makes you
like or hate what you think about Dogs of the night time,while as well you should show where or when these
incidents occured.That is my idea to help you.
joshuanderitu01   
Aug 3, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Conflicting Nations: A Duel of Cultures' - Essay on Native and American conflicts [2]

I read your essay about conflicting nations and it was very
comic to read about sources of your work, the way you have done your research about the topic.
that is a strength to make a reader more interested to read,as well
your weakness is also seen from some of your research sources for example
movies and books with unreal messages about conflicts between your selection of
two conflicts ,and this makes your essay even weaker to prove real conflict and the real reason
for it being there.That is my side of view.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / Benefit from response to emergency needs [3]

gakimaa123The structure is not bad but ,I'll give you a good title for your essay according to what it is describing:NURSING KNOWLEDGE IS FUNDAMENTAL AND INTEGRAL PART OF WOMEN CARE.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 26, 2012
Graduate / My Compassionate Personal Narrative for CASPA and my grandmother [2]

In the discussion second and third paragraph ,you write about the times you spent with your grandmother in your essay,to remind you of a certain time you felt compassion for her illness. Her memory has guided me to become the successful student I am today. Most importantly, her kind and simple way of life has shown me how to be a caring, passionate person. I would like to become a Physician Assistant because caring for others is my true calling in life.In this statement you should have shortened the story about your time with your grandmother

and write about other experiences with the purpose of becoming a physician, as to how else then you cared for others instead of writing of the same thing about the time you spend with your grandmother,or how else during her life you found that your time with her could have saved her life ,if you were aware of the things in your experience that you now have in advancement of time.This is what i found to help about your essay
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 22, 2012
Writing Feedback / Writer Ache such as Shoulder Blades Ache [2]

Benedict01
Some ingredientscomponents to have success in writing any essaysessay , research papers, term papers or any literary literature thread piece include: idea, memory and concentration.Topic of writing about(idea), skills of writting a story(memory),and arrangement into paragraghs(concentration)

you should be clear what you mean well in your explanation
During concentration, we are in a flow and we find ourselves very efficient and focusing on our writing. We know that we are in the "flow" of writing , if we don't recognize the time. Sometimes, we spend hours uninterrupted and we just don't know it.(write about what much concentration causes)in statements of words separated with punctuation marks

The result: This results to shoulder blade pains and the symptoms include dull pain on our upper back, just below the shoulder blades. Our muscles are also tense with poking pains when we move.

(write about the solutions)in statements of words separated with punctuation marks

The best solution to avoid these writer pains:
1. Use an ergonomically-designed chairs.
2. Stand up and stretch every once in a while. Every half hour is good enough. Take a break: a snack, a drink of water, a rest of the eyes.

3. Check your posture. Sit up straight, feet on the floor and shoulders pulled back.

With these tips, I hope all writers will just enjoy writing those long essays, grueling research papers and colorful literary piece: with no pain on the back!This is the wrong conclusion and it should be:I hope writers will learn from these tips, while enjoying to write a long essay,gluing research papers and colorful literature threads,without back pains.

thanks!
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 22, 2012
Writing Feedback / Should the jury be given pastfacts of the defendant or not? [3]

You need to check on the nouns and pronouns of words, and as well
the right word for what you intend to mean .I have found a different meaning for your words.
your topic is a good one and you have explained well in paragraphs.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 21, 2012
Writing Feedback / [IELTS]: pubush drivers more harshly in order to improve safety on the road [2]

First paragraph you did not continue well with the statement:such as people will be detained if they found to have drunk driving
so i added something to enhance for the statement to be read clearly better.
and some punctuation marks should have been included .

This is a good essay about road safety and what should be done to increase safety.I read it and its well writen and describes well everything.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Effects of Caffeine' - need to make this essay twice as long! [4]

Making your essay writing in paragraphs is important yet it creates
an important point to separate these paragraphs for the reader.If you want to write this
essay to be longer,you have to give alot of descriptions, to where you write Caffeinated drinks
have a positive and negative effects on our social, physical, and mental knowledge.
FOR EXAMPLE:Mentally, the intake of caffeine has a positive and negative effect on the minds performance. People drink coffee in order to enhance their personal performance . For example, according to published journal Advances on Physiology Education, caffeine has a profound effect on mood. you can write of how much influence caffeine has over other drinks ,other than it ,and you can give a few examples of its influences or important uses while giving descriptions to how useful caffeine is,

while as well , you can write of people who have been banned in the participation of certain sports events
such as the olympic games, for trying to use caffeine to boost their energy using caffeine.You can write
of great medical improvements caffeine does in drug manufacture and the use of caffeine by different companies to improve their
products.Be descriptive to certain points that you have made in your essay and you will make it even more longer as i have shown you.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 18, 2012
Book Reports / 'The Hermit' - my Litarary analysis essay on the emperors three quesitons [2]

The book is about an emperor who asks himself three questions that he considers that the answers will lead him to success

IT COULD AS WELL DESCRIBE THE SHORT STORY:IT IS A SHORT STORY/BOOK THAT IS ABOUT AN EMPEROR
who asks himself three questions that he considers that the answers will lead him to success
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 18, 2012
Graduate / Chasing the dreams in the R&D department - Essay for MS in CS [3]

your first paragragh is not out of topic and so its alright the way you start the paragraph.
You need to improve by making your ideas more dedicated into your work or practice,into the action of doing them and making
them,to prove that the practice has been done and you have become a true ,or a real leader of achieving something in your life.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Caleb and Kylee' - comparing and contrasting these two people [3]

i found some grammatical arrangement of words with a mistake and some punctuation
marks left not used in your grammar.some words also should be in past tense and you should as well learn to use
these connetions or connectors in your essay(and,also,as well)
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 16, 2012
Writing Feedback / THE STUDY OF CHARACTER AND THEIR DEVELOPMENT OR THE STUDY OF LANGUAGE DEVELOPMENT [9]

"God's people have good characters"

This is about the research and describing it, is through alot of investigation that God's people have good
characters and so, it mensions them without clauses because it's a description of research.thank you artin,i appreciate
your feed back.
"Which proves that the characters we make ,or even the development of characters we make is due to the silence that does not bring any perfection of the faithful God within us." meaning is not clear.

This means while things happen everyday in life,there is a hindrance in the perfection of people to be just in their characters, to perfect what

should be corrected in life, when the truth needs for justice and the hindrance of it to be removed ,so that perfection can be seen in life for everyone.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 15, 2012
Undergraduate / UNC business school essay about a AP physics group project [5]

You say in third paragraph that your words look repetitive, but i find that you have a suggestion
of ideas starting to show that you are doing well with practicing your skills and making a new plan,
even though fourth paragraph:you can add up these words the group's lethargic attitude did not weaken your ability to motivate others with your skill

of ideas not only to plan for others, but also to act as their leader in creativity .
still on the fourth paragraph:Add
that will motivate them through the extra work involved in the project
paragraph six:I will actively participate and use my motivating ability, inorder to encourage others achieve a great role in student group
both in and outside class.
And lastly I'm having trouble writing the conclusion, I'm thinking of just a 1 sentence conclusion but I don't know what to say:

You can conclude by :This is the best way i feel that, good leadership can be learned and practiced in any bussiness schools
to bring good results in the projects they undertake.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 15, 2012
Undergraduate / UNC business school essay about a AP physics group project [5]

First paragraph ,you can add up this to end the point that you make with a satisfaction to the reader:
For this one time ,i had something to prove about my leadership skill, and i ended up successful in my ideas
and ,to end up reaching to my desired results .
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 11, 2012
Research Papers / EXPLAINING ATTWOG 9 AND ATTWOG (1,2,3,4,5-1,6,9,10,12)AND THE PROJECT(3-2) [4]

EF_Susan
About project(3)-2doc this now makes me whom i am.It makes me a war humanitarian and shows ways and plans of God to bring ideas of excellent treaty making components that as well in my list of research projects.doc i will explain this that, i wrote that way because i was writing about a project of research, that through its investigation,it brought the real idea into its real meaning, as i write that it makes me a war humanitarian through what contributions it proves in its investigation ,to bring the real meaning and acheivement of peace.and as well, It was from here that everything has been made possible that everyone will learn the truth as it is in the Bible, and come to realise that it is true that God exists and every verse written down, is a proof of all that. -If you write to me that these words are offensive, then it does not show whether you look at it as a research file explaining other files as an essay ,will you agree with me?

I appreciate your correction because i need it ,but can you please answer me for these two questions please.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 10, 2012
Undergraduate / Drunk on the Road - ISSUE OF IMPORTANCE COLLEGE ESSAY [4]

your essay is fine with me.as i read it, it had a true message to reach its
requirements for it,yet it is educative on how we can stop the carelessness of being
drunk and driving while one is drunk because its dangerous.well done thats all i can say.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 10, 2012
Essays / What I would tell America's Founding Fathers... essay 300-400 words - how to start? [16]

you can mention what good contributions they have brought to America ,or the things they
have made the country achieve that bring change to the ordinary society in America;as well
you should focus on events they made a foundation for in that country and,
how you remember them in the present days that make you proud to be American.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 9, 2012
Writing Feedback / TOEFL ESSAY : best time usage - people visit museums when they travel to new places? [3]

artin
In my point of view, I believe that people prefer to visit museums because it is a place collection of information about the culture, governmental history and somehow animals.

For example, us knowing which kind of foods, also type of clothing people of that place used or maybe recently using,] you can have an imagination of the culture of them .

To put it simple , it is good to know who has been the president of that place. Regarding to this matter, by looking at the taken pictures in the museums beside their historical descriptions, this item could be clarified.

For example, knowing that whether lion had lived in that place or not could have lots of excitation.

In the end, I think that we have to use the best of our time in trave l. As many people try to do is visiting museums .
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 9, 2012
Writing Feedback / LIFE SUCCEEDS IN THAT IT SEEMS TO FAIL [3]

The point depicted in the expression reveals that a person gets success in his life when he feels that no door has remained open for him in the world now and there is no use of hardwork . He forgets that success is always a hard nut to crack. This explanation of topic can be a bit confusing unless it is writen that:LIFE SUCCEEDS FOR OTHER PEOPLE,WHILE IN OTHER'S LIFE FAILS so that. The point depicted in the expression reveals that a person gets success in his life when he feels that no door has remained open for him in the world now and there is no use of hardwork . He forgets that success is always a hard nut to crack.

This shows that a person is doing nothing to work hard because he is comfortable or sure with his life, and so he succeeds in the same life

that is hard for others to live, because they are failures.Its true silentlips.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 9, 2012
Research Papers / business law case (Dinky, a taxi driver for Asmara) [5]

It is understandable that dinky must wait long until the traffic congestion is over,it can be excusable for dinky because
dinky is a trusted employee of Asmala LTD. He only needs to know not to repeat a similar mistake of refusing customers instructions
when encountered by a similar situation of traffic congestion, because he can risk not being payed again or fighting with a passanger, or else arguing badly with a passanger,and so he should be instructed on how else he should do his job if this is the only time he faces such a hard time,to make him understand that what he has done is wrong.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 8, 2012
Essays / How to start to write an essay? (help and advice needed) [7]

You can select on a topic to write an essay about,
study the topic and create the idea story that is
easy to write about,but be well informed about what you are
writing about to avoid the mistake of being not sure with what you
write an essay about.Be proffesional in your idea.learn how to separate
words and their meaning in both paragraphs and with the right marks at every
sentences you use.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 8, 2012
Undergraduate / 'obsession with Asian pop and Hispanic music' Stanford supplement letter to roommate [4]

kgwatsup
Congrats you can start with the wordcongractulations instead of the meaning it gives to the reader of your essay. first paragraph
I'm a very easy person to get along with and I have a excellentinstead use excellent sense of humor,

your essay is well writen but you should use a full readable word in your essay at first paragraph and
use the word excellent without a excellent because this excellent is not a name as my reason to correct your essay that paragraph
,well done though .
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 8, 2012
Essays / 'How multinational organizations affect domestic politics' - essay content? [5]

The impact on political corruption is right ,my point is
that multinational organisations have positive effects as well,
for example:helping individuals get recorgnition at their work
and in disaster management or reduction.This is a positive effect most
multinational organisations have
on domestic politics.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 8, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'forced to become my own competitor' - UCF Essay [7]

Though multiple doctors insisted I was still a healthy individual, the truth was that I was quite ill. Eight months later, I was officially diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Epilepsy. To control the seizures, I was placed on anti-convulsion medications. Though i see it well written again but you are using the connection of words though many times than it should start with a new mesage of words in your essay . I assumed the prescription of the medications brought this chapter of my life to an end, It was only just beginning my uphill climb. well done for the first paragraph for its well writen exept only for a missing good connection of words and a letter in the first paragraph.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 8, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'forced to become my own competitor' - UCF Essay [7]

It the teacher's responsibility i found it that it should have been well written as its the teachers responsibility second paragraph of the essay but that paragraph is well written though.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 8, 2012
Research Papers / EXPLAINING ATTWOG 9 AND ATTWOG (1,2,3,4,5-1,6,9,10,12)AND THE PROJECT(3-2) [4]

i need help to check on my essay; i am trying to find out if there are some errors in it in
my research essay ,or alittle bit more to explain about perhaps. can someone please assist me.

EXPLAINING FILE ATTWOG 9 AND PROJECT (3-2)

This is everything i needed to do research about because every idea has been brought here in form of a chart.It shows clearly God's mind and its components are great and real.unlike any other theory chart,it explains a certain preserved thought by God known as tomorrows thought in today's thought ,which God is present to preserve a life(spiritually).More importantly is that it helps us then know that man is the determiner of all forms of life unlike any other theory that only tells of certain changes only.(in fulfilment).

About project(3)-2doc this now makes me whom i am.It makes me a war humanitarian and shows ways and plans of God to bring ideas of excellent treaty making components that as well in my list of research projects.doc,show that faithfulness is important where humandignity is to be taken as a serious right as well as privacy,in that by claiming for this respect,the idea can be perfected forever in the future.(HAS DISCOVERIES LIKE:3 TYPES OF AN OATH AND THE MEASURE OF POWER IN AN OATH)

FROM DEPRIVATION TO BLESSING:This file contains information and definitions of time according to a certain diary of recorded life and dates in the past and their similality with

the life that we or i am living today called fulfilment.It defines the lord of host as to be derived as a term represented by researched knowledge about the conditions in the future that is today,and the conditions researched are distress, endurance and faithfulness.It brings every Biblical prophecy in old and new testament to fulfilment,but most importantly points out to what God is accomplishing through this project of work and its aim.Its Gods kingdom that has been fulfiled although may face difficulties and alot of deceit,yet it will accomplish everything God intends through faith.

EXPLAINING ATTWOG(1,2,3,4,5-1,6,910,12):This is the main start of everything that has been written in fulfilment.It was from here that everything has been made possible that everyone will learn the truth as it is in the Bible, and come to realise that it is true that God exists and every verse written down is a proof of all that.To then have a researcher or an invesigator to all this is important when the truth about life has to be taken well seriously without us taking any life or life and dignity for no importance, to fight hard for the respect in life and the right to express knowledge through the word of God in life today.It gives a chance for the participation of minds and hearts in learning the truth and how to live life today aware of consequences in life.It simply is God's word living today and truth.
joshuanderitu01   
Jul 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / Questioning Authority: Agree or Disagree (GRE Issue Essay) [11]

deepakbaniya
this might prohibit the institutions from focusing on small ]problems of any particular area,which could be "huge"for the residence

i think if you use this word huge without the hiphenation sign it would sound well in your essay because the meaning is the same,

but i am not saying its wrong its alright as long as it means something to the reader,as well you can give a few examples where you say

small problems of any particular area, which could be "huge" for the residents .I still say your essay is correct and well written

Writing
Editing Help?
✖
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳