Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: WOMEN AND MEN EXCLUDED FROM SPECIFIC JOBS ? [2]

Topic: Woman and men are commonly seen as having different strength and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Due to the unique characteristics from men and women, it leads to the distribution of both genders in some specific areas which are determined by their aptitudes and weaknesses. However, some believe that women should not enroll in male-dominated areas and vice versa. Under my perspective, this idea is indeed rational in some ways.

To begin with, certain posts which include predominantly either males or females may be allowed. Apparently, there may be certain jobs whose requirements are decided by the distinct natures of genders. Taking primary teachers as an example, young students tend to be obedient towards the female teachers due to the familiar natures with their mothers. Additionally, those jobs that require fine physical conditions such as coal mining, logging or building should remain to be done by men.

On the other hand, there are occupations when opening to both genders would create diversity of distinct advantages. In political area, men incline to outnumber women, whilst females also have a vital part in the system. For example, Hillary Clinton, the secretary of State, has confirmed "smart power" as the strategy for asserting U.S. leadership and values, by combining military power with diplomacy and American capabilities in economics, technology, and other areas and also has encouraged empowerment of women everywhere. Hence, when jobs vary to both genders, they would gain significant benefits of their fields.

To conclude, there are particular jobs that may categorize either males or females due to certain requirements. However, they can make advantages of their abilities when the employments include both genders.

[257 words]

Hope to see your feedbacks

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: WHO DECIDE TO CHOOSE SUBJECT FOR CHILDREN [4]

Look forward to your feedback :D

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is inevitable that subjects have essential roles in forming the ideal pursuits for children in forward education. Therefore, the decision about selecting subjects for standard curriculum has led to a debate of whether teachers or central authorities would shoulder such vital responsibility. As far as I am concerned, it is certainly the educational ministry that would involve in this issue rather than teachers' participation.

First and foremost, the governments' duty should be to decide the necessary subjects and skills needed for the development of economy and society. Therefore, the significance in choosing appropriate subjects is more critical so as to provide a well-rounded education for students. Via main subjects, optional subjects and mandatory examinations, individuals' ability would be accurately assessed in order to flourish a new generation which will later contribute to their country. Hence, the performance of teachers is currently to deliver well-prepared lessons to children rather than bearing this task.

Furthermore, educational ministry would consider establishing standardization among the curricular system. Apparently, the dominant authorities' role is to ensure the quality of schooling throughout the country by proposing some fixed subjects applied in schools. On the contrary, if teachers participate in this duty, it would certainly lead to the issue of exceeding variations in standards and qualifications, moreover, making ill-advised curriculum changes.

To conclude, it is true that the responsibility for choosing subjects should be certainly of the governments to make proper approach to forward benefits of the children.

Writing Feedback / BENEFITS AND DRAWBACKS OF CREDIT CARDS [4]

BENEFITS AND DRAWBACKS OF CREDIT CARDS. Look forward to your feedback :D

There is no doubt that the process of financial transaction is currently simplified via the advent of credit cards. They have performed many essential roles in daily people's basics, however, containing the threat of substantial debt due to the improper uses of this tool. As far as I am concerned, whereby the number of people utilizing credit cards is gradually increasing, the benefits would outweigh the cons.

It is inevitable that the unaware tendency to spend money would probably lead to immense debt. The rate of consumption in buying unnecessary goods or expensive products has made the users not pay attention to the fact that the expense is probably the debit. Therefore, people would later then shoulder the responsibility for settling the loan or bearing the mounting debt when they have already overused the default balance money. Thus, this is concerned in the financial issue of many households

On the other hand, the access to money is highly facilitated for the people's convenience. Credit cards are able to help people arrange the remote payment of goods and products online, hence, being used in the variety of financial aspects. Furthermore, with the small and portable appearance, it would be a helpful option rather than having a lot of money in the wallet. Moreover, credit cards will allow users to acknowledge accurately the location and the amount of money already spent in order to adjust their finances. Hence, many financial transactions would be easily completed by a card.

To sum up, in spite of the some drawbacks, credit cards are probably people's options to use their money rather than using cash in some ways.

Writing Feedback / [ESSAY]: INDUSTRIALIZED NATIONS AND THE DUTY FOR GLOBAL WARMING. AGREE OR NOT ? [4]

Topic: Rich industrialised nations are responsible for global warming so it is their duty to find a remedy. Do you agree?

There is no doubt that the global warming is currently a burning issue affecting adversely all nations in the world. It is said that the underlying causes of this problem are mainly addressed to the rich industrialized nations whose assumed responsibility is to seek to remedy. However, it leads to a debate of whether this onerous duty should be solely handled by a particular group of country or it is discharged by a whole world. In my perspective, it would probably be every country that must fulfill such fundamental responsibility.

First and foremost, it is inevitable that this global issue results in rapid deterioration due to the industrial countries' excessive reliance on fossil fuels. The emission of carbon dioxide is concerned in the climate change, which is mainly generated from pollution-spewing factories of those nations exploiting fossil fuels as a valuable source. Taking China as an example, in 2008, it accounted for 23.5% of world's CO2 emission, whereby Chinese industry-based economy may not be prevented from consuming fossil fuels. Nevertheless, not only do the rich industrialized countries have to bear the forward consequences, but also other nations will soon face the results

On the other hand, the responsibility should be shared between the countries due to their distinct uses of national resources . There are underdeveloped countries, developing countries and developed countries. Typically, underdeveloped and developing ones are unlikely to afford modern technology and have proper methodologies to create high-quality manufacturing infrastructure, resulting in the over-controlled emission of greenhouse gases affecting the climate. On the contrary, the developed countries or rich industrialized nations are currently using energy substitute to avoid letting the polluting gases into the atmosphere, but the consumption of fossil fuels is still remained.

To sum up, in my view, the world should be in charge of finding a remedy towards this issue rather than solely a group of country bearing this significant duty.

Look forward to receiving your feedback :D

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: EDUCATION MUST BE COMPULSORY ? [5]

Topic: Education is recognized as vital to the future of any society in today's world. Government throughout the world should make education compulsory for all children between the ages of 5 and 15. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people claim that the education is considered as the main key to open a bright future of the world. Considering this, current governments are trying to seize such considerable opportunity by designing a mandatory curriculum for all children from 5 to 15.In my perspective, this method would benefit greatly to both the students' long-term success in career as well as their roles as a good citizen in society.

First and foremost, there is no denying that such educational pattern has made it feasible for the children to form the basic knowledge as a firm background to have a good job. Apparently, at this age, students are likely to acquire the lessons more easily due to their sensitive brain cognition. Hence, the approach to higher education would be highly probable, leading to bright employment prospects. For example, well-educated students tend to be applied for leading company rather than those who are not allocated any. In short, the application of the compulsory curriculum has a positive impact on the students' future.

Likewise, this mandatory schooling performs a very crucial role in imposing ethics in students' behaviors. Children are easily influenced by social factors and therefore the schools' responsibility for adjusting their attitudes must be addressed. In particular, teachers are the supervisors who assist the students in being a good citizen by organizing a subject called civic education. Otherwise, without any morality at this initial stage, these pupils are likely to have a false conception in behaving, resulting in the severe consequences such as school violence, drug abuse and more.

To conclude, I have to reiterate the significance of compulsory education in opening up opportunities for students to have an ideal career as long as improving the moral standard in students' behaviors.

Hope will receive your supports :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: EDUCATING CHILDREN TO BEHAVE, PARENTS OR SCHOOLS AND GOVERNMENTS ? [4]

Topic: Teaching children and young people how to behave is the responsibility of parents, not schools or the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Apparently, the young generation is the core potential for the growth of a country, who should be given overriding concerns. As one of the main considerations in this precedence is educating the children to be good citizens, this major responsibility is whether of the parents or governments and schools. However, in my opinion, the issue should be equally intervened by both sides.

Firstly, I believe that parental roles in forming their children's attitudes are highly considered. From the daily life, their behavior affects mainly to the kids' basis moral standards, leading to the fact that there is an understandable tendency for the children to mimic as what the parents do. For example, a child brought up in a family which always has violent arguments is inclined to behave familiarly. As a result, the impacts from parents on the children's development should be thoroughly concerned and therefore their involvement is clearly necessary.

In addition, responsibility for this issue would certainly be of the governments and schools owing to the absence of the parents. As most schools design curricular courses covering ethic principles, the schoolchildren could have the more general conception to be well-behaved in the society. Otherwise, they would misunderstood whether their behaviors are right or wrong whereby the undeveloped belief is easily influenced by external factors, leading to being involved in social crime such as drug abuse, violence threats and more. Without any particular awareness, more serious consequences may arise which adversely affect to their life and future.

To conclude, children should be guided to behave morally by both schools and parents rather than one side bearing this significant responsibility, so as to be a good citizen in the future.

Hope will get your support and comments :)

Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: STUDYING OVERSEAS OR STAYING HOME [6]

Topic: The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay at home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, education is commonly taken as vital precedence of those who want to acquire basic background knowledge to have a bright career prospect in forward future. To pursue higher education, many people claim that studying overseas would be a practical option, whilst the concerns about experiencing difficulties in an unfamiliar culture may hinder students from taking such valuable chances. In my perspective, they should utilize this method despite the encountered obstacles rather than procrastinating their studies' progress.

To begin with, the issue involved when being in a foreign country is mainly about a widespread phenomenon called culture shock. In details, it is considered as the personal disorientation when students moving to a new country encounter a foreign way of life. Despite the fact that culture shock's impacts, such as language barrier, information overload or infinite regress, on individuals are inevitable, it is only a short-term issue basically dealt by the students' positive response rather than hostile preliminary attitudes. Yet, as students in any society are personally affected by cultural contrasts differently, hardly are there any solutions to entirely prevent culture shock.

In addition, the advances in educational infrastructure of most foreign schools would be a tangible motivation for people to study abroad. Once affording this unrivalled opportunity, students' knowledge acquisition would be highly encouraged due to rich facilities, high-quality curricular materials, qualified lecturers which are mainly subsidized by the governments. Drawing from Canadian methodology about investing in education, it has spent an immense fund only on this major to improve the quality of curricular system.

To conclude, as the anxiety about going overseas for further education is apparently understandable. However, the promising benefits through such valuable opportunity are worth being derived.

hope will get your supports and comments :)

Writing Feedback / PRIVATE SCHOOL SHOULD BE BANNED! Ielts task 2 [5]

It has now become evident that education is considered as one of the most critical assets in the progress of a country in the age of globalization. Moreover, its impacts on the growth of governments and private establishments are highly appreciated. However, it leads to a debate of whether the governmental investment should be supplied to educational provision or this crucial responsibility is of the private sector.

Regarding the particular roles of private education, it still remains its position in improving the students' acquisition by the rich resources, facilities and technical methodology despite the high expense of scholastic fee. Firstly, due to the flexibility in the curricular materials, students are able to cope with typical boredom when learning the same text books in perpetual semesters. Secondly, there are probabilities for pupils to be taught by qualified teaching staff, leading to the efficiency of class. Finally, these private organizations would certainly provide sources of occupations for people, helping the country to solve unemployment crisis.

On the other hand, the presence of the governmental schools is clearly seen to be of the essence. Nowadays, educational rights are confirmed to be one of the vital citizenship and therefore everyone would have possibilities to develop themselves, particularly, acquiring knowledge. The public schools allocate the equal opportunities for them to study with the sensible policies which would not neglect them when struggling with the financial problems, or else assisting in affording quality education.

To conclude, it is my belief that the governments should provide education along with the private schools because the availability of both would upgrade the educational standard rather than sole factor bearing this significance.

hope will get your valuable support !

Writing Feedback / Task 2 IELTS, AIMS OF UNIVERSITY ARE FOR GETTING JOB OR BENEFITING INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIETY [4]

Many people believe that the main aim for university education is help graduates to find better jobs, while some people believe that university education has wider benefits for individual and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Currently, education is said to be one of the crucial factors in affecting individual's career, moreover, the developing progress of country. Thus, higher approach to this major, particularly, university level, means the more earnings obtained, whilst the benefits are not only for the ideal jobs, but also for both personal life and society in much broader way. The essay below will discuss both aspects of this issue.

To begin, it is true that university will provide better opportunity for students to be employed in the quality company, leading to the fact that their income would certainly increase. Due to the development of economics, the demands on individual needs would also rise, so the high-paid salary may sustain these requirements. Hence, the graduation certificate of the university would be students' qualification for being fully prepared to improve their future career prospects and life as well, furthermore, attracting to potential employers.

On the other hand, university education would also provide many advantages for individuals and society. Firstly, more opportunities for students to fulfill their lives through improving life skills when living away from home, which are independence and maturity. Secondly, the economic growth is from the creation of knowledge and increasing in stock of graduates who are able to implement new processes and technologies into the economics. Thus, university has played vital roles in improving the life's standard of students and in progressing the country's wealth.

To conclude, it is clearly seen that the main aim of this kind of education is to increase the possibility for graduates to be applied for their jobs. However, if university attendance is encouraged and promoted, there will be more benefits for students' lives and the society.

Hope will receive your valuable backup !

Writing Feedback / Education plays fundamental role in the growth of a country [7]

Hi guys ! I'm newbie here, hope will get supports from you. I really do appreciate your helps to studying progress.

Topic: education is the single most important factor in the development of a country.

Among the vital factors affecting both individuals and the country's progress, education, indeed, has the highly influential impact on the growth of a nation, or else, promoting the quality of society and so on. Hence, due to these significances of this major, it is commonly admitted that the responsibility for the development of a country is solely of the education. In my perspective, apart from the inevitable benefits mentioned above, there are other factors that are evidently proved to be either essential or even more necessary than education, which are health and national cultural value.

To begin with, heath is incontrovertibly considered as the most important factor of individuals' living standards and demands, and moreover the investment in health along with the design of health financing policies should be addressed in terms of the interaction between health and economic performance. It is clearly seen that poverty, infant malnourishment and morality adversely affect the life expectancy, moreover, the growth of a nation. To prevent these issues from deteriorating, in other word, from not reducing the development of economy, the governmental policies of national health care, health insurance and health surveillance should be considerably implemented, therefore, the healthy population increasing leading to being a wealthier country.

Furthermore, the tangible value of one country mainly depends on its culture relating to the fact the absence of the long-established tradition means the irrelevant existence of a nation where cross-cultures acquired from the globalization are absolutely merged together. Thus, there should be governmental consideration on this major not only to conserve the very essence of a country but also to assist in increasing the pace of economic rates. Nowadays, the purposes of many tourists are usually about exploring the new, unique culture of a country, resulting in the fact that if the cultural tourism is more subsidized, it will certainly attract a lot of foreign investment in that country leading to the international commerce being more dynamic.

To conclude, it is true that education has played fundamental roles in the growth of a country, however, not being the sole factor. In addition, to the development of a nation, there are other significant approaches such as economy, healthcare and culture.