Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT (task2): Working Extended hours should restricted. (Agree/Disagree) [6]

Dear Friends,
I would be grateful if you could review my essay from all perspective, including " Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, grammar.

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society, so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

Working longer hours is becoming prevalent in these days. There is a saying in my native village, "Health is Wealth". I believe many of people including me are not really considering the importance of health. The need for increased working hours might be because of enhanced competitive environment and desire to acquire much money and promotion. However, people working for extended hours have been found having adverse effects on their health and personal life. In my opinion, a balance between personal and professional life should be created by restricting maximum number of working hours.

First of all, many of us would agree to the fact that people; who prefer working longer hours, do not find time to focus on their health. By working too long, they often become tired, lazy and reluctant to carry out physical exercise in order to remain fit and healthy and eventually loose health and become sick. Moreover, they become extensively addicted to their work and become workaholic type persons. The repercussion are so severe that their families and friends remain deprived off their attention and in the end they end up losing balance between their family and personal life.

Secondly, these workaholic people do not spend time for the contribution of society by actively participating in any social campaign. As they usually remain busy in their office so they do not find leisure time for such social activities. For instance, I would take my boss's example; he has been working for extended hours in office for many years. Recently, his health and personal life was drastically affected as he broke up with his wife and his family life has totally been in chaos and cries. He started regretting afterwards and now trying to manage his work but it seems to be too late for him.

To conclude this, I would strongly emphasis and recommend, Government must include the clause of maximum number of working hours in its Labor Law and enforce to all companies for ensuring their employees do not spend extended hours in companies. This will help in uplift of society, and bring the lost equilibrium between personal and professional life of each individual person.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT: Our Dependency on computers, & computer's use in future. [6]

Dear Friends,
I would be grateful if you could review my essay from all perspective, including " Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, grammar, etc.Kindly give me a band rating as well.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

Technology has progressed considerably along with the past decades. Scientists have never stopped working hard to explore the nature and bring new inventions to this world. In the field of technology, the remarkable achievement of scientists is the invention of computer.

First of all, many of us would agree that computers have made our life easier and faster in every aspect whether at personal or professional level. For instance, people working at office use computer for several things like sending emails internally and externally, creating reports, presentations, etc. The pilots are flying airplanes with the help of predefined programs loaded in computers that has minimized human intervention. People working at sensitive fields like intelligence or police department, utilize computers for several purposes including surveillance activities, identifying criminal record history from vast data base system and monitoring city outskirts.etc. This would never have been possible without invention of computers. It can surely be predicted the way technology is progressing, in future computers will be contributing major role in the life of bio technology. Where speculation is that a small computerized micro chip can be inserted in human brain to enable him to store and remember every piece of information correctly. It is also quite possible that in-case of any medical illness, human body parts could be replaced with computerized robotic technology that would enable him to live in healthy and independent state without being in turmoil and handicapped condition.

However, if computer will be dominated over most of the things, people will start losing their jobs as organizations would prefer to have more computers to perform same type of job in faster and quicker way and lay off employees for cost cutting purpose. In this way, our society may have adverse affect and people may become frustrated and crime rate may increase beyond our expectation. This can be controlled with proper planning and exploring the options where computers dependencies on human can also be ensure and provide equal employment opportunities for human being.

To conclude, I would say that computer contribution to our life has extremely been helpful and useful. Predicting future, we can assume that computers will play a vital role in bringing the lost health and happiness to those who are unable to enjoy their life due to any health constraint.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - GT: On recent Holiday you lost valuable item, claim to insurance [8]

Dear Friends,
I would be grateful to you all if you could review my letter from all perspective, including " Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, grammar, etc and give me a BAND SCORE.

"On recent holiday you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of any thing lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter,

- Describe the item you lost
- Explain how you lost it
- Tell the insurance company what would you like them to do"

Dear Sir/ Madam,

Hope you will be doing well. I am writing this to let you know while I arrived in Singapore to spend my holidays, I lost my suitcase due to poor hotel arrangement which was organized by you in a complete package including travel insurance.

My suitcase contained the RADO watch that I had bought from USA during my last trip. The cost of the watch was 2000 dollars and the total cost of the suitcase might be around 2500 dollars.

Actually, when I arrived at airport, the hotel management had sent a car along with driver to drop me at the hotel. After check in at hotel, while driver was removing my luggage out of car I found out that my suitcase was missing. Upon inquiry with driver, he said that he never saw any suitcase at airport and he didn't put it in the car in first place so someone might have stolen it at airport while we were settling in the car.

Afterwards, I made a complaint to hotel management on driver's lack of responsibility and poor luggage handling but I didn't receive any positive feedback from hotel management as per them they were not responsible for it.

Fortunately, I had opted for travel insurance from your company so I am writing this to claim for my lost suitcase which has my expensive RADO watch and I want you to approve my claim and process it as soon as possible so that I can get payment and buy another RADO watch from local dealer.

Yours faithfully
Shezad

Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT: Women in Navy or Air Forces - should not be allowed; instead: career, children [5]

Dear Friends,
I am preparing for IELTS and want to improve my writing skills. Could you please review my essay from all perspective including task response, lexical resources, grammar etc. I If possible, would you please mark me for a band on this essay.

There has always been a debate on Men and Women professional fields ye it has been difficult to decide. As per experts opinion men are good at real hard core jobs like working in harsh and remote conditions where women may not possibly think to work. However, women are proved to be fantastic at jobs that require no physical or tough conditions to deal with. The professions like army, navy or the air force are highly challenging and demanding professions where many think that men could perform far better than women as they are born to deal with real field hardships and this could be a firm and solid reason which is why women's are not allowed for these specific professions.

First of all, many of us would agree that the arms forces require extraordinary physical strength that enables men to perform distinctly with respect to women. Especially during arm forces training period, the men's undergo several difficult tasks including climbing over rocky mountains, shooting exercises, boxing tournaments, several push-ups rounds etc which require immense of stamina that women does not have. For instance, my own brother is captain at army, and I have personally seen the level of training he was undergone, it was so tough and challenging that many times he faced several physical injuries. Due to such tiresome, risky and difficult jobs many of his colleagues could not manage to continue the training and left the arm forces field. Having said that it can be imagined how touch arm forces field would be for women if they want to pursue their career.

Secondly, men are less emotional in nature than women. For instance, considering a war situation between two countries like USA and IRAQ, obviously there would be many killings at the end of both countries' which were at war. USA men soldiers fighting at battle were very strong and brave by heart that they did not hesitate to kill the opponent country's soldiers. However, if USA had put women at war instead of men, certainly they would have failed to win as women did not have that much courage to fight and save the country as men do.

Moreover, there are several responsibilities associated to a woman as a person. For instance, a woman as a wife and mother is responsible to look after her children and husband. If she is allowed to join arm forces, her family life would be ruined as her children will remain deprived of mother's love, and care, her husband and wife beautiful relation would start tearing apart and in result it might end up towards the separation of the two.

To conclude, I would strongly agree that women should not be allowed to join arm forces as it is in the best interest of nation. Instead they should pursue their career in research and development, teaching the kids and bringing up their children to excellent moral values and provide the nation with brave soldiers.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT: it's important for parents to teach their children about the importance of money [3]

Dear Friends,
I am preparing for IELTS and want to improve my writing skills. Could you please review my essay from all perspective including task response, lexical resources, grammar etc.

"Some say it is important for parents to teach their children about the importance of money. Why and how should they do it? Include examples from your own experience".

In today's world, money plays a vital role in the life of each and every individual person. Spending money takes a minute; whereas when it comes to earn money, it actually takes significant time and effort. The society; we are living, is full of many enchanting and fascinating things which draw strong and quick children's attention and make them spend money uselessly. As a parent, it becomes our first and foremost duty to our children to guide them towards the correct and useful methods for spending money.

First of all, many of us would agree to the fact that parental guidance is extremely important in the life of children while they are being brought up in monetary society. As a parent, the principles and the values we induce in our children's moral and character, will always remain in their personality and rest of the life. The way todays world's economy is progressing, day by day it is becoming difficult for the most of the people to earn money and spend for the betterment of the family. I know some parents who are hand to mouth in their lives and cannot afford to fulfill all the needs of their children. For Instance, they cannot buy their children a bicycle or a computer that their children can use yet the only thing they could do is to afford sending their children school for obtaining education. When such children observe other rich class kids they become tempted with their status and insist their parents to have the facilities like elite class children's have. However, if parents of such children guide them properly by making them understand the importance of money which is required to be spent on crucial and necessary things, such children would become familiar with true requirements, and help their parents and themselves by not spending money on unimportant things.

Moreover, there is a saying "Cut your coat, according to your cloth. I strongly agree with the saying and believe that this must be taught to our children. Parents must set certain principles and apply them in their children's life. They must not encourage them on spending money uselessly on buying things which are not necessarily required for them. For Instance, when I was a child, my parents used to give me a fixed pocket money of Rs 500 per month. I was told that I had to manage my shopping with in this amount that included buying toys, toffees, sports related items. I always managed to live my life with in the given amount, and now when I have grown up and being earning a fixed amount of salary, I am quite happily managing my life with in my earned amount of salary. I am always thankful to my parents for inducing such values in my life.

To conclude, I would say that children are stubborn and innocent by nature and it is parent's responsibility to mold them in such a way that they understand the importance of money and do not spend money uselessly and carelessly. In this ways, they would lead their future life beautifully and comfortably.

Writing Feedback / IELTS-GT (Task-1): You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work [7]

Dear Friends,
I would be grateful to you all if you could review my letter from all perspective, including " Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, grammar, etc.

Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- Explain why you want to take time off
- Give details of the amount of time you need
- Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Dear Ali,
I am writing to request you to grant me 01 week unpaid leave.Actually, it has been a while, I haven't been able to take my wife and son to a adventurous place where they can enjoy their leisure time by visiting new places and do some recreational stuff. This summer my son's school is announcing holidays starting from 10th of July to 17th of July. My wife is a school teacher at the same school and will be getting off at the same time. Therefore, I want to avail this opportunity by taking leave for a period of 07 days i.e. from 10th July till 17th July.

These holidays will allow me to bring lost happiness back to my family. I am planning to take my family to Abu Dhabi & Dubai, where we will have an exciting and amazing time. My son is a great fan of Formula-1 race, and a Formula-1 race is going to be held at Abu Dhabi on 14th July. Moreover, my wife is keen to see the world's tallest building- Burj Khaleefa located in Dubai, and it is very near to Abu Dhabi. This trip will be a marvelous visit for our whole family.

I understand the critcality of my project as it important both for the Company and the Client. I want to give you a full assurance that in my absence Mr Johnny will be looking after my project as I have already been keeping him in all emails since beginning. I have also explained him the current status of the project, and he is also confident and comfortable with this responsibility. He will keep you updated in my absence and will ensure that all planned activities are finished as per project schedule.

I would be grateful to you if you could allow me to take 07 days unpaid leave starting from 10th July till 17th July. This will be the golden time opportunity for me and my family.

Yours sincerely
Naveed

Writing Feedback / Celebrity/ famous film star/ sports personality - 'opt for entertainment field' [5]

Dear Friends,
I will be grateful if you could review my essay from all perspective, including " Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, grammar, etc.

IELTS-GT- (Task2): Being a celebrity such as famous film star or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefits or problems?

There are several professions in this world. Some people love to opt for a profession in which they earn fame as well as huge amount of money and become celebrities, while others think they do not have an ability to become celebrity and choose to become doctors, engineers etc. However, I would personally agree with the fact that being a celebrity brings much of fame, monetary gain and luxurious life style.

First of all, there is no doubt about the fact that being celebrity , be it film starts or sport starts, they receive an immense amount of people's love and attraction that they would have never received if they would have chosen to opt for normal profession. For Instance, Tom Cruise, is one the the super star of holly wood film industry, he must be earning huge not only huge amount of money, but also living a luxurious life style and people's love. Many of my friends and even myself are great fan of him. Being celebrity, Tom Cruise became famous in very young age which would never have been possible if he would have chosen to become doctor or engineer.

Second of all, being a celebrity, they are paid beyond the imaginations of normal person and attain the highest peak of their career from monetary point. I would like to mentioned an example here. I personally know a super film star, who used to be my college friend and we used to study together in the same class. After graduation, I continued to pursue my career in the field of engineering, where as he preferred to become a film start celebrity and opted for film industry career. After 05 years, when I look at myself, I am still there struggling in my career to get enough money and respect, where as he has achieved his goad. He has become a successful film star, people know him more than me. He is being paid beyond my imagination. However, he is very busy person, every one has to take appointments week ahead to meet him, he has to accompany a body guard along with him every time.

On the other hand, there are some problems associated being a celebrity. They can not come outside their home being photographed. They have quite busy and hectic life though they are paid high but they do not have their personal life, as they can not go outside meet their friends and family easily like a common man. Moreover, there always remains an uncertainty. For Instance, they may never know in couple of year they may replaced by following young talented person. Lets consider a Pakistani Sports star Imran khan, he was replaced by waseem akram, later on Waseem Akram replaced by Shahid Afridi and it will continue to happen.

To conclude this, I would like to present my point of view on this. Nevertheless, being celebrity brings some problems, and I am given a second chance in my life, I would prefer to opt for entertainment field and would love to become celebrity. In this way, I will be successful in achieving the peak of my career, become a rich guy and can live a luxury life.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - GT (task-1) You have moved to different house, Write a letter to your friend [4]

Dear All,

I would really appreciate if you could read my Letter. I am preparing for IELTS (GT), and would request you to please read from letter from all perspective; including Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Grammar, etc

IELTS (Task-1): You have recently moved to a difference house, write a letter to an engligh friend. In your letter,
- Explain why you have moved?
- Describe the new house
- Invite your friend to come and visit

Dear Jack,
I hope this letter find you and your family well. I am writing to let you know that we have shifted to a new house located near to the city center.

Actually, my previous house was quite far from my office location and; as you know that I don't have a conveyance, so daily morning I had to walk 01 hour to reach at my office and it took almost same time to home in evening. Sometimes, I had to stay late in office and by the time I reach home my family would already asleep.

In addition, the house was quite old so I had to spend much amount of money for its repair that becomes unnecessary pain on my pocket. Due to these reasons, I decided to look for another house and luckily I found one located a few steps away from my office.

Let me tell you more about my new house, first of all, it is a newly built house and fully furnished so no maintenance pain, it has got a new swimming pool, beautiful garden and a gym for exercise. Second of all, it is located a few steps away from my office which is such a relief for me.

It has been a while we haven't seen each other and my family is also anxious to meet yours. So, I would like to invite you over the weekend to have dinner with us, where I can show you my new house.

We look forward to see you this weekend. Don't forget to bring your dog, my child loves it.

Best wishes,
Naveed