Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by mersad
Name: mersad
Joined: Apr 22, 2016
Last Post: May 28, 2016
Threads: 8
Posts: 14  
Likes: 6

Displayed posts: 22
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
mersad   
May 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / TASK1-The table below compares the average number of vehicles using three roads. [2]

topic: The table below compares the average number of vehicles using three roads.

The table gives figures regarding how many automobiles averagely passed through three roads from 1993 to 2002.

Over the period, the auto flow rate per hour had increased for all three paths. In average, the Long Lane was the most popular way while there was a least tendency for Harper Lane to be used.

In 1998, Harper Lane were used by merely 82 vehicles per hour, the least number of the whole table, hitting the high number of 910 in 1998, before witnessing a sharp plunge to 193, with some fluctuation, at the end of the period. Long Lane which was second popular road in 1993 by 400, in spite of some fluctuations between 1996 and 1998, rose dramatically by 1000 before becoming stabilized at peak of 1400 over the last two years.

Great York Way , ranked as the first during the primary years, saw a moderate upward trend, initiating from 600 and plateauing at 900 during the last two years, while it had hovered around that of stability years since 1999. This road was surpassed by both Long Lane and Harper Lane in 1998; thereafter, the former continued its rise to reach the peak, whereas the latter plummeted abruptly to stay again as the least popular road.



  • TASK1
mersad   
May 28, 2016
Writing Feedback / What is the most important thing in a relation? [3]

Hi Hamed, frankly you are good at writing, but you need more practice. Bear in mind the practice makes perfect. A good essay needs to be organized well. Coherence and cohesion is one of the most important things in any writing and you lose score in this aspect. The example should support your topic sentences adequately. I highly recommend reading some well-written and well-organized essay to find a robust pattern for your writing.

Good luck

Some corrections on your writing:

-he/she can expect the other person involve in the relation does it too ==> the others involved in the relation do it too

- I was totally honest with her and as a result of my attitude .she was honest with me ==> ..attitude, she was... (punctuation)

-When I was totally honest with her and as a result of my attitude .she was honest with me too which ended up in trusting each other more and now we are living together. ==> I followed the honesty attituide in our relationship and fortunately she did the same; as a result, we are now living together.

-.But because of the widespread dishonesty that prevailed among society, ==>However, they became weaker so that they were not able to solve even their simplest daily problems as a result of the widespread dishonesty overshadowing the society,

-Also be careful about the punctuation.

I hope find the above useful.
mersad   
May 20, 2016
Writing Feedback / Main causes contributing to make farmable land degraded; three continents were adversely affected [3]

IELTS8-TASK1-main reasons why agricultural land become lesson productive.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land become lesson productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

The pie chart gives figures on principal causes contributing to make farmable land degraded while the table presents how three continents were adversely affected by these reasons within 1990 to 2000.

Over-grazing, deforestation and over-cultivation are the most important phenomena accounting for more than 90% of soil degradation all over the world, with 35%, 30% and 28%, respectively. A mere of 7% results from other reasons such as reduction of annual rainfall, off-roading and so on.

This pattern is more or less identical to Oceania so that over-grazing was by far the first land-degrading factor with 11.3%, whereas over-cultivation had no any contribution there. In contrast, deforestation was the dominant item resulting in land degradation by 9.8% in Europe while over-cultivation constituted 3.3% as the most significant reason which degrades the farmable land in North America.

Europe suffered from a massive percentage of soil degradation by almost one quarter of its whole ground, South Pacific consisted half of the Europe proportion approximately (13%) and distantly third was North America with merely 5%.

Number of words:170



  • TASK1-TEST1-IELTS8
mersad   
May 20, 2016
Student Talk / The Foreign Language Learner's Issues in Writing [8]

Hi, writing in any language, specially a language which has artistic background, is very amazing for me and generally writing is a way to actualize your ideas and to transform them to materialistic world. However, personally I am here at EF not only to solicit experts for help but interestingly can also assist someone if I can ;)
mersad   
May 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / "Bora-Bora" - I need to impove my travel blog! How? [4]

you're welcome. I read your writing once again to put more comments but the punctuation and typo drew my attention again. I am appending below some of them:

Also, the hotel price is...

kilometers away, ...

However, the time was...

For me, the only way...

after a few hours, I became really good at it
mersad   
May 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS9-TASK1-ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050... [2]

Here are two writings I've written in different ways to address the details of the figures. Would you please let me know your comments on them and also which one is better? Thank you in advance

Question
The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

(1)
The pie charts give figures on population ages categorized into three different ranges in 2000 for a developed, Italy, and a developing, Yemen, countries and also a prediction for 2050.

Almost half of the population of Yemen was under 14 in 2000. Approximately, the same amount accounted for adults as high as 46.3%, while a mere of 3.6% was above 60 years. The projection shows some control scheme has been successfully taking measure; as a result, the population of infants to adolescents group will moderately increase by 13% nearly. The 15-59 years group expectedly will have raise of 11%. Additionally, the elderly percentage increasingly reaches at 5.7% in 2050.

In Italy, adult population constituted 61.6% in 2000 while it will decrease slightly to 46.2% on 2050. In the contrast, 2050 proportion of the 60s will rise warningly from 24.1% in 2000 to the twice for the next 50 years. Moreover, the birth rate will reduce between 2000 and 2050, by about 3% as a result of reduction happening for less than 14 years population from 14.3 to 11.5% over these years.

Overall, Italian adults and elderlies populations alarmingly will increase to become an overwhelming majority of its population.
Words number: 194

(2)
These figures show the Yemeni and Italian proportions through three age groups in 2000 and also the prediction for the following half century.

People of Italy was older than Yemeni in 2000; furthermore, the same is predicted for the next 50 years. Additionally, the age of individuals of both countries will be increased on 2050.

In addition to the greater proportion of under 14-year-old Yemeni than those for Italian - the former consisted just over half the whole and the latter around 14%- , the aged citizens of Yemen, who were 60+, contributed a mere of 3.6%, whereas a quarter of Italian inhabitants was constituted by elderlies. Moreover, adults, who were under 59, accounted for the largest percentage of Yemeni and Italian populations as great as 46.3% and 61.6%, respectively.

The estimation demonstrates that in a spite of nearly 13% reduction of the under 14 chunk from 2000 to 2050, the average ages of people in Yemen will rise as a result of enlarging in number of elderlies and adults by 30% and 11% approximately. It is envisaged that percentage of Italian people over 60 years will surge to about twice as high as the percent was in 2000, 24.1%. However, the amount of the 15-50 year group will be faced with a dramatic drop of more or less 14% and a slight decline of about 3% will occur for infant and adolescent group.

Words number:233



  • Figure IELTS9
mersad   
May 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / "Bora-Bora" - I need to impove my travel blog! How? [4]

Hi. I have two suggestions:
The first is about punctuation: I ended up having a red face ... ==> I ended up having a red face from the crash into the water; nonetheless, after a few hours I became really good at it.

2-My first try I completely failed. ==> at the first try, I completely failed. or My first try completely failed.

I hope you find the above useful.
mersad   
May 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Children after-school activities are becoming a source of debate amongst educationalists nowadays [3]

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Nowadays, after-school activities are more becoming a source of debate amongst educationalists. Although there is not a consensus on doing honorary services as a mandatory part of high school, it is believed that any sort of such a charitable contribution to communities not only is useful for society but it efficiently also benefits student in matter of acquirement of skills and development of self-confidence.

Earlier exposure to practical activities and playing role in the society, during the high school, helps our children to develop their abilities, along with progress in their academic education. Additionally, Self-respect is instilled to children's mind and also a sense of importance are imparted to them simply through voluntary collaboration with school's or even city's authorities in diverse affairs including assisting their classmates for acquisition of any language or sport, or more importantly, developing urban green spaces and etc. As a result, doing such these free of charge services not only lead students to actualize their potentialities and foster their skills but amazingly also pave the way for raising their employability in the future. Furthermore, it should be noted that adolescents are highly vulnerable with respect to the negative social teachings and these positives activities fully occupy their spare time in a utilitarian and constructive way and also avoid them perpetrating some silly actions.

On the other hand, every compulsory works, regardless of whether it is advantageous or not, may ironically have destructive impacts on individuals. Therefore, such charitable collaborations will be widely acceptable by society, if it is optional. However, such a generous task but mandatory, alters students' eagerness to unwillingness. Take, a student passing a weary educating day at school and now he is obligated to work for a charity in his free time, for example. How enormously much would be loathsome this duty? Conspicuously, it adversely affects their views on any charitable actions.

To sum up, serving in a charity as after-school occupations which harness skills and time of teenagers in a best way seems worthwhile; nonetheless, it needs still to be optional part of school.

Thank you in advance for your comments ;)
Words number: 340
mersad   
May 10, 2016
Letters / You rented an apartment for a holiday last year and you were happy with it [4]

Some further comment:
I personally prefer to use " south-facing bedroom had a lovely flower-filled garden" rather than " the south-facing bedroom overlooked a lovely flower-filled garden."

In addition I would like to express that I highly enjoy from the applied adjective like "flower-filled " and "south-facing"
Good Luck
mersad   
May 10, 2016
Letters / You rented an apartment for a holiday last year and you were happy with it [4]

Hi @Mike, this is a well-organized writing which includes a wide range of vocabulary and acceptable range of grammatical structure. However, I would like to suggest the following grammatical points:

1- I was happy to find that the apartment was more spacious than I had thought ==>I was happy to find that the apartment WHICH was more spacious than I had thought

2- To increase the range of grammar/ You irritate this pattern twice==> ... cooking appliances, which enabled me to .. and ..might be the net cable, which appeared a bit.. ==> ...appliances, enabling me...

3- book a rented accommodation with ==> book theaccommodation rented last year, once again...

I hope this insights will be helpful in your revision.
mersad   
May 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / TASK 2-IELTS CAMBRIDGE 9- Some experts believe that it is better for children [3]

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?


Over the recent years, the age of learning a new language is increasingly becoming a debatable issue. There is a special ability for language learning in childhood. In addition, nowadays, learning an international language is an essential requirement for majority of occupational or educational opportunities. Although, some experts opine teaching a non-mother tongue in earlier ages may adversely affect children's mind, I strongly believe the drawbacks of an earlier acquiring of second language are overshadowed by the benefits due to children's greater learning ability and their more free time.

Firstly, correlating with psychology, children are blessed with brilliant ability to learn. Educationalists believe a child, in comparison with an adult, not only can learn incredibly faster, but simultaneously also they can be trained even three diverse languages.

Secondly, free time is an essential pre-requirement of any progress in our life. Adolescents usually suffer from lack of enough time to accomplish their goals. Take an engineer, who has been missing outstanding job vacancies due to lack of fluent English or Dutch knowledge, for example. Although, he has numerously planned to improve his English, he has failed to progress his language learning scheme due to his hectic life. However, children have plenty of sufficient leisure time which is often wasted.

On the other hand, it is psychologically believed earlier exposure to a non-mother language will cause long-lasting emotional effects on children because of differences between language structures which result in dispiriting them. Worse still, teachers in primary schools are generalists whereas training a foreign language, in particular, to children needs qualified specialists who can utilize modern and game-oriented methods for teaching.

In conclusion, learning an international language as a general unit in elementary school seems worthwhile; nonetheless, this scheme should be harnessed in a scientists-recommended approach to minimize its flaws.

Words number: 298
mersad   
May 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / The problem of gender equality in universities admissions has recently raised the public's awareness [3]

Hi, frankly this is a good writing, but the following point should be considered:
1- First of all,the essay is very long (395 words) in this way you lose your time. Moreover, the essay can be efficiently refine to contain just sentences which add some significant thing to the text. However, the range of vocabulary and grammar is acceptable.

2- Physics-majored- students

I hope the above will be useful for you.
mersad   
May 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - A hundred years ago, people thought that the human race was steadily improving [5]

Hi. Nice to read your writings. However, I suggest the following points to improve your essay.
1-A host of cutting-edge instruments has facilitated the people in all of areas has facilitated the peoples' affairs in all of a
2-Thus, it is unquestionably true that technology has made progress in recent years. Therefore/Consequently/ Accordingly
3-...usable in compared to the schools in the cities....usable in comparison with those in the city.
4-Hence, it is clear that the human right needs to be improved, therefore reducing the gap among social groups. the meaning of this sentence is unclear for me.

Good writing but try to clearly demonstrate your position regarding the questions.
mersad   
May 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / Task 2 -IELTS- It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong.. [3]

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

Generally, ethics is considered to be a sole human-perceived fact thus one of the most valuable achievements of human. Rightness and wrongness of something is judged through accepted moral standards. Historically, "punishment and reward" system were used to encourage people to obey these standards. This approach still influences on human mind and is commonly used, in particular, for upbringing children. Although, corporal punishments, correlating with psychology, are strictly banned, I strongly believe some behavioral-boycotting regulations not only are necessary, when children break the codes, in raising process, but effectively also foster their perception of reality.

There are some psychological methods to force children to halt an inappropriate action such as time-out technique, which is kind of ignorance, and also to avoid giving them what they pleaded. In addition to such soft punishable reaction, the reward, which is even more effective, is recommended to be utilized by parents or teachers. For instance, parents promise their offsprings that will buy children's favorite toys, if they behave positively.

On the other hand, corporal punishments used commonly in the past, has much of destructive impressions on children's mind. Parents bear much of responsibility for fostering their offsprings. They are strongly requested to instill confidence and self-respect to them whereas physical punishment completely damages their self-esteem. Take, a child who said an offensive term, for example. There are three attitudes here. First of all, corporal humiliating berating, which has been already evident, contrary to those' expectation, that has tremendous consequences. The second is passive reaction of parents against the child. This behavior paves the way for further insulting and that is why most of parents lose their positive influence on their children. The last alternative but not the least is to operate some psychologists-recommended regulations including soft punishment- or reward-oriented reactions. It should be noted, even though mother or father relented, they has to apparently be serious and strict.

To recapitulate, parents are strongly asked to be source of nurturance and security for their family and that is why they are recommended to utilize reward system or utmost soft-behavioral punishment, rather than corporal, to teach their children to distinguish the true and false. As a result, parents, who have physical punishment-oriented approach in upbringing their offsprings, first have to be stopped and then convinced to solicit experts for help.
mersad   
May 2, 2016
Writing Feedback / The high cost of leaving belongs to the largest drawbacks of Fairmont Island. IELTS [3]

Hi please note the following points which can improve the writing.
1- it is recommended to write a short introduction (first paragraph). Then, 2 strong paragraphs to cover the most important points of the two charts. Finally write a short conclusion (optional).

2- "survey of visitors" is copied from the topic. It is better to use an alternative like "opinion poll"
3- However, the people is the largest reason visitor come to this island , at two-fifth. the people is the most important reason which encourages visitors to...

I hope you find these useful.
mersad   
Apr 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / These days authorities are becoming more concerned about museums [4]

These days authorities are becoming more concerned with museums and the worthy works remained during the history; as a result, they need people to be charged not only to protect and present these cultural heritage adequately, but psychologically also the payment encourages visitors to learn more about the place. Although ticket buying reduces number of visitors, I believe the benefits outweigh the costs.

Firstly, the supply and maintenance costs are a mandatory of any long-life businesses or organizations. That is why I believe museums need to receive the entrance fee. Take the government of Iran, which suffers from shortage of budget especially in the recent years, for example. If the cultural heritage is totally dependent on governmental charge, the cutbacks of cultural spending will adversely affect the safekeeping of these historical valuable works. Consequently, museums should profit from a stable source of income which is accumulated by visitors charging.

Secondly, according to the recent opinion poll carried out by a private sector, an overwhelming majority of people pays more attention to a subject which is charged them. Accordingly, this fee-based ticket scheme not only financially supports museums, but ironically also benefits visitors because the payment mentally forces them to become more enthusiastic to know the ins and outs of the visited items.

On the other hand, entrance ticket expectedly decreases number of individuals who are eager to visit the place. Some experts opine that since cultural heritage is where bulk of information about our country's history and culture lies there, government has to subsidize this area. Therefore, government will benefit from this long-term policy if entrance to these cultural exhibitions is free of charge.

To recapitulate, I hold still the view that disadvantages of admission fee are overshadowed by its advantages, if the income occurring from admission is plowed back to maintenance and development of the museums.
mersad   
Apr 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students... [7]

Your opinion is well developed and supported. A good range of vocabulary is used and also the range of grammar is also wide. However, be careful about the number of words which has exceeded 350 words. In addition, there are some repetitive words like "right and wrong" which should be replaced by alternatives such as "true and false" and "morality" ....
mersad   
Apr 30, 2016
Undergraduate / What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? - Personal Statement College Essay [6]

Hi Jeffrey, this is a well -written and well-organized essay that was really interesting for me. Your opinion is well developed and supported. An excellent range of vocabulary is used and also the range of structures is also wide. Actually, I don't have any especial comments to improve the essay. However, just be careful about the punctuation.
mersad   
Apr 29, 2016
Writing Feedback / Students shall be free to study what they want, but schools should give priority to practical majors [2]

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Over the recent years, the main role of university courses is increasingly becoming a source of debate. Many people opine the academic studies should lead trainees to meet society's future demands. Although this view has some merits, I strongly believe that students are expected to retain their right to opt their favorite majors and universities are also required to independently expand the gates of all ranges of sciences regardless of whether the courses are utilitarian in the future.

Historically, the university is not only the main responsible sector to enlarge skirts of sciences, but efficiently also to transfer knowledge to the next generations. Accordingly, the college should follows its historical mission up and provides a suitable context for diverse study fields in a way that each generation can pursue its interesting courses there. Take a non-scientific non-technological major, philosophy, which overwhelming majority of people believe it does not have a much of useful role to play in our life, for example. However, as view point of history, philosophy, contrary to their expectation, has considerably contributed as a complementary component in any brilliant development since the dawn of civilization such as Enlightenment.

On the other hand, if occupation is not the sole justification for education, it will be taken into account as one of the very most important reason of genesis of such an organization named university. Consequently, it is highly recommended to choose a study area having sufficient position in the near future. For instance, how miserable might be a country suffering from lack of enough engineers throughout its industries and thus calling for international forces while dozen of its young graduated citizens are jobless.

In conclusion, choosing a future-utilitarian field of study having several vacancies seems worthwhile; nonetheless, I hold the view that students should be free to study whatever they want. However, the universities deliberately should give priority to practical major rather than the others.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳