Posts by Sunrise011

Sunrise011

Dec 13, 2019

Writing Feedback / Work in projects alone, with classmates or with a tutor? (TOEFL Independent Writing) [2]

* If you had to work on a project for school would you rather:
a) work alone, b) work with classmates or c) work with a tutor.

We all have, at some time of our lives, had to make the choice of choosing how to work on a project. And particularly when it comes to school projects, students choose to work alone, in groups, or merely with the guidance of an experienced tutor. Personally, I would rather work with a group of classmates than alone or with a tutor for reasons related to the inefficiency of solo as well as supervised work.

First of all, solo work can be boring and, frankly, one-sided, colorless and unimaginative in many ways. In fact, when we choose to isolate from people in projects, we automatically isolate ourselves from different perspectives, diverse experiences and new ideas. Moreover, encapsulating one's thinking can only lead to making it vulnerable and outdated as not only it is separated from the influence of other personalities, it is threatened with deterioration and perishing. Indeed, ideas should always be revised and enhanced.

Furthermore, working with a tutor is, by all means, a threat to the improvisation and imagination of the young mind. Initially, we can all agree with the fact that a progressive and innovative project can only be achieved by having a horizontal relationship between the parties involved in its development. However, engaging a tutor in the work of a "student" can only be regarded as breaking the aforementioned rule. Thus, as crucial a tutor can be to accelerating and crafting any school work, it is also important to note that the importance of school projects lie in the effort put in not just the yield. If anything tutors can make projects effortless, hence, meaningless.

Lastly, I would choose to work with a group of my classmates in a school project for the rich, diverse and sometimes unique perspectives they can all bring. And as awkward and messy group work can be, the discussions that students have, within or outside of the main ideas of the topic at hand, can be beneficial, awarding them a short-term success in the project and a long-term success in maturing and strengthening friendships. As a matter of fact, as socializing opportunities become rarer than ever for students, school projects can provide a time to catch up and converse within a homogeneous unit.

Overall, school projects can be the perfect time to shape new perspectives on different topics, away from the usual, somewhat boring, homework routine. Thus, it is an opportunity to both learn and mature, and socialize. For that reason, regardless of the project, I would always choose to do it within a group of my cohort.

* Please give it a grade out of 15.

Sunrise011

Dec 13, 2019

Graduate / Audit and Finance LETTER FOR MASTER ADMISSION - the university offers the best opportunities for me [2]

Dear Ernest,

I am not going to delve deep into particular details from your writing. Instead, I am going to offer a couple of pointers that will help you craft a better essay.

1. Do not state the obvious. Speaking highly of a university's potential, research opportunities and generally prestige is something that will only take up space with no added value. The admission office knows how great their institution is, hence there is no need to emphasize it any more. Instead make your letter more personal, which brings me to my second point.

2. Make your essay personal. What I read in your essay are information that are not unique to you and, therefore, do not help you stand out in a group. If anything, certain cliches can even harm your chances for admission. So, what I would advise you to do is to use a large portion of your essay to speak of a personal story that no one else can relate to but you; a story that actually touches the admission officer and makes them feel genuine interest in pursuing studies at their institution.

I hope this helped! Good Luck!

Sunrise011

Dec 13, 2019

Writing Feedback / The table below shows the average user engagement for four social networking sites and the pie chart [3]

Dear Hanip,

The intent and organization is your essay are pretty good. You seem to know what you want to write about. However, the quality of your essay can be immensely undermined by the grammatical and structural mistakes you made. For instance, instead of saying "...", you can use "The table reveals how people prefer spending their time..." .

Overall, keep up the good work and you'll improve.

Good Luck!

Sunrise011

Dec 13, 2019

Writing Feedback / You have been given a gift of money. Which would you rather spend it on? (TOEFL Independent Writing) [2]

the choice how to spent gifted money

* You have been given a gift of money. Which would you rather spend it on: a) a piece of jewelry b) a pair of concert tickets c) an expensive meal.

When we consider the importance money has in people's lives, it is only logical to think about how to spend it in order to get a genuine value. Therefore, in this discussion, some would argue that food -healthy and varied- is a priority when it comes to spending money, while others would argue that expensive acquisitions such as jewelry are valued for their uniqueness and are a sign of prosperity. However, if I had the money, I would generally spend it on art.

Personally, out of the options provided, a pair of concert tickets would be my go-to for a variety of reasons. Mainly, I find the other two options merely uninteresting; plus, I am an art-maniac.

First of all, Jewelry are simply a symbol of wealth and do not offer any spiritual, mental or physical support to the owner. In fact, I would go as far as saying expensive materials such as silver, gold and diamonds are ways to show off and can even be an offense and a disrespectful way to undermine underprivileged people's worth. For instance, it is widely recognized that the use of expensive jewelry is accompanied with a change in attitude and the inclination towards self-importance and arrogance. And I do not want to be associated by any of these terrible depictions.

Furthermore, food, particularly expensive meals bought at top-notch restaurants, is attainable at the lowest of prices if we want to indulge in the magic of cooking. Indeed, I would rather spend a couple of hours to prepare my favorite dishes and look up recipes online than go out to a restaurant where I would probably feel uncomfortable around people that might not be friendly just to get something in a really high price and away from the coziness of home. And as much as I have the best regards for famous restaurants and cooks for their clean and neat work places, I do not see myself spending much money on such an activity.

Lastly, my choice of the pair of concert tickets does not just stem from the inconvenience of the other two options, but is also inspired by my admiration for art. The thing is, in my everyday life, I do not have the money to witness my favorite singer in action or watch the premiere of an anticipated movie because of the pricey tickets or the expensive prices of trips. Thus, having this gift money will allow me to take my mother -the person that I share my favorite songs and artists with- to see my favorite my band, regardless of the money needed.

Overall, my choice is based on critical thinking, observation and passion. An expensive meal or piece of jewelry, as tempting as they may be, do not convince me to spend large amounts of money. However, going to a concert I wouldn't normally have the resources to go to fits the bill. Nonetheless, to be fair, there is no right choice as it all depends on preference and lifestyle.

*** Please give it a grade out of 15.

Sunrise011

Dec 13, 2019

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Writing task 1 IELTS Four social networking sites and their market share [3]

Dear Yasin,

As a whole, your essay deals with the necessary parts of the charts, effectively using statistics. However, if I have a remark to make, it would be advising you to work more on your sentence structure. Mainly, you should avoid structures that feel heavy on the tongue or sophisticated for no apparent reason like "... the Twitter users spending their time daily for twitting is the lowest one among ..., while the highest average spend is seen from Linkedin ... "

Good Luck!

Sunrise011

Dec 9, 2019

Writing Feedback / Describe a fear you had to overcome. How did you overcome it? (TOEFL Independent Writing) [2]

a true fear comes from inside

The impact fear has on personalities, personas and behaviors is a controversial topic that has gone on for a very long time; a topic that takes a political façade at times, and a social and cultural one at other times. I, personally, grew up in an environment free of political-related fear. However, I faced fears and struggles when it comes down to socializing. At a certain period of my life, I was scared of rejection as well as being put in a situation that is far off my comfort zone.

First of all, despite always having the eagerness to explore the unknown, I usually had a sense of fear of failure, or rejection when it comes to dealing with people; a sense that was perpetuated by society, primarily my parents. Indeed, at a certain age when it was fundamental for me to take risks that can eventually end up in failure in order to build strong bonds with the real world and its turmoil, I had to change. What I did is develop this 5-second rule. This method consists of counting to 5 every time I feel reluctant to take on a challenge; by the time I say 5, I have to automatically make a move. Although it was tough and quite frankly unrealistic to execute at first, as time passed, I started feeling more confident when making tough yet crucial decisions.

Furthermore, I had an unbearable attraction to places where I feel most comfortable in. If I am going out for dinner, I'd rather do it with my family or closest friends. When I choose where to seat in class, I would choose to sit next to a close friend or alone. Nonetheless, I knew I needed to affect change and I knew it needed to be tangible not just empty promises. Thus, I began putting myself on the edge with everything I do. If I play a Soccer game, I would do it with people I barely know so as I test myself under pressure. When leading a school project, I would find new people to work with every time. Overall, I had to put myself in different situations and test my response in each one. The results were impressive. Instead of feeling left out and ignored, I have built new relationships and made good friends. It was all about taking initiative in the end.

To sum up, I find fear a common aspect that describes humanity; and although at times, that fear is created by external forces such as mainstream media, politicians or society's postulates, it is always possible to take a stand and defy such beliefs. I, myself, can say that a true fear comes from inside and if you can make peace with yourself and find motivation from within, you can defeat any fears that once seemed indestructible.

*** Please give it a grade out of 15.

Sunrise011

Dec 9, 2019

Writing Feedback / Describe charts showing students' opinions about services in their university library-Task1 Ielts [3]

Dear Tamtran,
I believe you have a clear understanding of the dos and don'ts of explaining charts, yet, I see some redundancy in your work. For instance, when you say "nearly 100% of full-time ..." and then say "In terms of opening hours, 99% ...", you are pretty much saying the same thing.

Other than that you are good.
Good Luck!

Sunrise011

Dec 9, 2019

Writing Feedback / What are the characteristics of a good coach? (TOEFL Independent Writing) [2]

a combination of various values and qualities

It is common between people to think that coaches withhold a crucial role in the success of individuals as well as teams in whichever adventure they takes be it a sport, be it yoga and meditation, be it developing a healthy lifestyle. To achieve their fundamental role, coaches need to have certain qualities mandatory to the high standard they must keep in their work. I, myself, see that a coach needs to be a critical thinker, a fervent motivator and, simply, someone who takes great pleasure in his work.

First of all, critical thinking is not just of help to researchers, teachers and students in academia, yet also is crucial for coaches. Indeed, a coach needs to think clearly about the multiple variables involved in the success of their trainees. For instance, the situation of an athlete that has just a time frame of one month before an important tournament is largely different from an athlete that is going to take part in the Olympics in four years. The coach, here, has to know which training system is convenient to which athlete, and hence, having a fixed, preset training routine does not help the coach's cause. Thus, a coach that can position himself well in the picture and that can see the advantages as well as the faults of his methods is ready to work.

Furthermore, a coach needs to have a sense of motivation that he transfers to his trainees. Motivation, a term that is commonly used wrongly, is what inspires people to push forward and expand their limits. And from personal experience, I can confirm the importance of having a coach capable of providing the necessary motivation. For a soccer game, my team and I, we had to travel for 5 hours by bus to play. Coming to the field, our energy as drained and we were in no way ready to feature in the game. The coach's words, his manner in talking and the passion you can sense with every letter he spills out, somehow magically, gave us the determination needed to play at our best. If anything, a good coach is determined by his ability to change his trainees' mindsets.

Lastly, the trainee cannot enjoy, and hence, work hard if his trainer is, indeed, not in the mood or not keen on the work he/she does. Therefore, a coach needs to be passionate about his work. In fact, the most respected coaches, notably in sports, history has given us are indeed extremely keen on what they do. Passion and interest in a certain field allows these coaches to pay attention to the tiniest of details and therefore offer the best training experience. For example, Ex-Chelsea manager and Tottenham Hotspurs manager, Jose Mourinho, has one of the most intricate Soccer training routines in the world, a routine he thoroughly executed for his 30-year career. He pays attention even to the hotels the players stay in, their food, and even their personal relationships and habits.

Overall, we must admit that a good coach should be a combination of various values and qualities that expand upon the aforementioned qualities. However, I believe critical thinking, flexibility, the ability to motivate and being passionate about one's work are the most important of these qualities.

*** Please give it a grade out of 15.

Sunrise011

Dec 9, 2019

Writing Feedback / Teachers and schools for child development - Ielts writing task 2 evaluation and opinion [3]

Dear Vicky,

Overall, you have some grammatical and structural errors. However, I think the issue of your essay is the fact that you do not elaborate on your ideas. Whether you are presenting a debate or rising a question in the introduction or explaining the main point of a body paragraph you should offer examples and reasons to back your claims.

Simply stating facts is not going to make your essay solid.

Good Luck!

Sunrise011

Nov 6, 2019

Writing Feedback / TOEFL Independent Essay Sample (Small university in countryside vs. big university in city) [2]

effects of different school's locations

Universities, similar to businesses or firms, can take the countryside or the city as a location to set campus. However, people might argue that either location is better; providing more opportunities and entertainment spots, or allowing students to enjoy peacefulness and beautiful natural landscapes. In either case, one chooses a campus location preference based on various reasons.

Personally, I prefer a small university in the countryside. And as much as I look forward to research and work opportunities in populous cities, the countryside has its charm. I would make such a choice for two main reasons: the accessibility of hiking options in plain nature and the ability to have a greatly immersive college experience.

First, I reckon that, to have a successful stay in college, you need to have time and space for simplistic and quiet activities so as you can release some of the tension you feel with a busy schedule. And one way I find highly efficient in accomplishing the aforementioned goal is going for hikes in the peaceful countryside mountains, or merely having a picnic or doing yoga in plain nature. I can enjoy the quiet; the fresh air; and the unmatched atmosphere of nature: nice scents, birds' chants and the green wet grass. Indeed, the impact of the countryside campus setup ranges from receiving the sun when you open your windows in the morning instead of tall buildings to the invigorating feeling such setup offers at the end of a long day of work.

Second, a small university's main appeal is the proper human contact and the ever-lasting relationships you can create in four year of college for example. I find the small number of students important because it provides the opportunity to meet less a limited group of people; an opportunity that allows the student to better know their classmates and connect deeper with their peers. Moreover, the relationship between students and faculty is more personal, and hence, offer the possibility for teacher to have an impact in their students' lives. In fact, a teacher turns into a friend, knowledge gets shared more efficiently and students get to bond with their instructors, and thus, have a personally meaningful college stay.

Overall, the debate about whether small universities in the countryside are better than big universities in cities and vice versa, goes on. Criteria and arguments differ. However, the most meaningful criteria are one's personal choice and preference. And, no one can give a definitive answer to this dilemma.

I hope you can give me some pointers and rate it our of of 15. Thank you!

Sunrise011

Jul 23, 2016

Writing Feedback / We can't affirm that the living certain place is better. [3]

Dear Hien,
I think that comments and remarks above have mostly summed up the changes and enhancements, you need to apply on your essay. Therefore, I will not be giving you grammatical and spelling remarks. I will recommend some amendments on your writing:

1) Avoid using adjectives like "best, better". This kind of adjectives are likely to give the comparison you want to make or the idea you want to advocate much less clear or straightforward.(e.g. living in the city is better than living in the countryside --> living in the city is "more comfortable", "more luxurious" ...)

2) Try to develop your arguments in a logical way. Make your argument following this outline: Thesis (The part of the topic that you will discuss in the rest of the paragraph) --> Development (You develop the thesis by showing its different sides and explaining them in order to make the idea aforementioned in the thesis clearer) --> Examples (Examples are essential in developing your arguments. There are different types of examples: facts, statics, quotes, logic and critical thinking examples).

P.S: Examples can lead after the thesis in your outline, yet, it should be done in an appropriate way where you strengthen your thesis with an example that precedes the explanation and development of your ideas.

3) Be more accurate when it comes down to vocabulary: Any essay should contain some key words that define the idea you want to defend or reject. In that case, you should, in your next essays, be focusing on enhancing the vocabulary you are using. Thus, I advise you to read more articles (NY Times, Washington Post, The Economist ...), read books and ultimately dig deeply in each word and its meaning to figure out proper uses for the word or expressions you are about to learn.

4) Finally, avoid using contractions (e.g. "it's ", "won't " ... --> Correct: it is , will not ).

Regardless the remarks I have pointed out above, reading your essay I felt that you had good ideas to mention. So, that is a good start. Anyway, thank you for the effort.

Sunrise011

Jul 11, 2016

Writing Feedback / The earth: a living place where neat sceneries and nature's beauty are only part of people's fantasy [2]

Some believe that Earth is being harmed by human activity. Others think it makes it a better place.

Since the dawn of history, earth has been a place of purity and quiet. It has been considered as a heaven to redeme life's scars and a large place where people can get their heads out of their sophisticated lives and sink in the goodness and happiness. Although, in the last couple of centuries, earth was turned into a living place where neat sceneries and nature's beauty are only part of people's fantasy. Anyway, thoughts were shared about earth's actual status. Some find human development has harmful affects on earth while others reckon the opposite. So, what is truly happening to earth under human activities influence, nowdays?

Earth's environmental status matters a lot when it comes down to human activity impact on earth. Herein or in most of its regions. Life is becoming shockingly lousy. Related-to-air illnesses are getting more frequent in Megacities and industrial zones due to the exceedingly hurtful noxious gases manufacturers toss into the air. Thus, life has become incontrovertibly a topic of discussion where not much can be done. Earth used to be much cleaner where natural resources remained unfound, but, it is definitely an unexpected result of technology research.

In another aspect of earth's ultimate destroyer, technology have provided us with cutting-edge and highly-developed pieces of machinery. It helped to enhance life quality in several ways, yet, did it keep our beloved earth clean and safe? These inventions use utterly sophisticated chemicals and different kinds of artificial products. Therefore, earth is considered to be these substances's trash can, hence, people are unable to live with dirty water to drink, lousy air-quality to breathe and a lessened number of green places to visit and enjoy due to number of harmful phenomenons such as the green house effect, etc.

To sum up, we all agree that science and technology are aspects of today's human activities that changed the living way in recent decades, yet, it is necessary that governors and manufacturers keep an eye on earth, the home of every living being, because our future depends on hers.

Sunrise011

Jul 10, 2016

Writing Feedback / People are never satisfied with what they have; they want something more or something different [4]

Thank you for the valuable feedback. You are right, it's a TOEFL integrated essay.

Sunrise011

Jul 10, 2016

Writing Feedback / People are never satisfied with what they have; they want something more or something different [4]

We live in a physical world where people aim to subsist on healthy and satisfiying conditions in order to live gleefully. Thus, people work hard and struggle along to achieve their dreams and expectations so as they sense the incontrovertible taste of comfortability or take a glimpse at their make-believe. Although, indubitably, only a fat cat can maintain an affluent life. Therefore, the main focus is, can people feel really satisfied of what they have and enjoy an utopian status?

Basically, people, in different phases of their lives, are looking forward to betterment because, as a matter of fact, it's in the human nature to never be satisfied. The psychological phenomenon I'm referring to is, actually, hope; the hope one have, hereupon, is a direct result of having these unsatisfactory feelings. Technically speaking, everyone have the need to enhance their life's general ambiance in several ways. People keep not only working to afford money, yet also, checking doctors regularly to keep healthy, amending appearances to undo age and life's hardest moments stains and fill their heads with the "dream house" plans and ways to save money for it. Therefore, hope for a better day generates the feeling of unsatisfactoriness anyone has.

The human brain and skills have been developed utterly throughout history. And if there's one reason for it is the feeling of being unsatisfied with what's in the hand. Let me break down for you; Humans , since the edge of history, have looked forward for improvements in their lives. They have struggled in hunting wild animals to eat, so they made primal weapons. They wanted a better taste of what they eat, therefore, they invented fire and started cooking their preys. Going on with time, humans have got to a point where they could visit space, fly all over the world, avail the earth's natural resources by mining into the firmest mountains and make such an incredible use out of the cutting-edge technologies they developed. From this perspective, you can notice that looking for changes and modifications in life is a leading cause to not being satisfied. That's how hidden desires everyone possesses make people want more.

To sum up, feeling unsatisfied with what we have is, actually, a leading reason for the existence of the human race until because no matter how deep a culture is and no matter how strong an empire is, with time, everything vanishes when losing both hope and ambition.

Sunrise011

Jul 8, 2016

Writing Feedback / Talk about the pros/cons of this era as is full of daily inventions. [4]

Dear Smith,

* Paragraph 1: * ... patents have filed around ... --> ... were filed / You (should have used the passive voice "Patents don't file themselves" / We have an exact time indication "in year 2014", hence, you should have used the simple past rather than the present perfect)

* ~~This essay will discuss advantages and disadvantage of these inventions with suitable examples.~~ --> I'll be coming over the advantages and disadvantages of these inventions ("with suitable examples" is not genuinely worth-writing here because it will make your essay less formal or academic).

* Paragraph 2: * Your argument wasn't really developed. You didn't explain with depth the idea you were trying to deliver. Mind that an example is an important part of your argument's structure, yet, it should not be the main focus in your argument. Try explaining your thesis then uphold it with suitable example(s).

* General Review: Your essay is, definitely, a well-written one. You, generally, talked about what the topic demanded. Although, I might say that your essay lacked precision and depth. You chose clear examples to demonstrate both pros and cons of this era's invention, nevertheless, you should have taken care of developing your essay. For future betterment, I recommend that you keep practicing such essays and try to give it a personal touch that weigh if you're applying for academic tests.

Thank you for the effort.

Sunrise011

Jul 7, 2016

Grammar, Usage / What are the differences between Simple past and Past Tense ? [6]

Dear Isai,
The English language's tenses are 17. Down below I'll be showing you the tenses and their usage.

Simple Present / Present Progressive (or Continuous) / Simple Past / Past Progressive / Present Perfect / Present Perfect Progressive / Past Perfect / Past Perfect Progressive / Simple Future I (Will) / Simple Future I (Going to) / Future I Progressive / Simple Future II / Future II Progressive / Conditional I Simple / Conditional I Progressive / Conditional II Simple / Conditional II Progressive.

Basically, to figure out in what tense you should conjugate the verb, you need to look for any time indications (e.g. today, tomorrow)
1/ Simple present (a.k.a. present tense):
* Action occurring at an exact and immediate time once (Affirmative form), never (Negative form), several times (Question).
* General truth: an information that is widely known and take part in the common knowledge (e.g. The earth is round / Drugs are prejudicial ...)
* Sayings and cliches: (Go hit the books, they don't hit back [Cliché] / A bird in hand is worth two in the bush [Saying])
* Medical prescriptions and day-to-day advices.

--> Conjugation: (Affirmative)
* All verbs (except "to be", "to have"):
- I, he, she, it --> -s (verb + s) / e.g. to eat: He eats, she eats, it eats.
- I, you, we, they --> verb [without changes] (-to) / e.g. to talk: I talk, you talk, they talk, we talk.
* Verb "to be": I am ('m), you are ('re), they are ('re), we are ('re), he is ('s), she is ('s), it is ('s) { Avoid using contractions in academic writing.

* Verb "to have": I have ('ve), you have ('ve), we have ('ve), they have ('ve), he has ('s), she has ('s), it has ('s) { Avoid using contractions in academic writing.

P.S: Verbs, that ends up with an "h", takes an "e" before the "s" with: he, she, it.

2/ Present progressive:
* Action occurring at the present time and taking a limited period of time [the action is not immediate] (e.g. Isai is jogging all along the forest).

* Action taking place at the moment of speaking (e.g. The press are exclusively covering Orlando's gay club attacks).
* Action arranged for the future (e.g. The senate elections results are announced soon).

--> Conjugation: (Affirmative)
All verbs (No exceptions):
* Verb "to be" conjugated with the given pronoun + the initial verb (-to) (e.g. He is struggling / They are performing a theater play / I am feeling better)

3/ Simple past (a.k.a. Past tense):
* Action taking place in the past, at a precise moment, once (Affirmative form), never (Affirmative form) or several times (Question) (e.g. I had a nightmare, last night / I didn't visit my uncle, during summer vacations / Did they win their game?)

* Action taking place in the middle of another (e.g. If Italked , they would have asphyxiate me to death)

--> Conjugation:
* Affirmative form : (Regular verbs): [All pronouns] verb+ed (e.g. I talked / they watched / We managed / you eliminated)
(Irregular verbs): [Here is the list of all irregular verbs I could help you with]: "Check out the attached PDF file herewith".
* Negative form : (All verbs without exceptions): Verb "to do" in the past tense (did) + not + the initial verb (-to) (e.g. Ecologic meeting didn't give much of solution to fix the seriously dangerous environmental crisis / The majority in the Congress didn't decide to disable the discussed law ...)

* Interrogative form (Question): Verb "to do" in the past tense (did) + subject + the initial verb (-to) (Did you finish your homework? / Did my mother arrived home?).

4/ *Past Perfect Simple:
* Action taking place before a certain time in the past (e.g. He had visited her before she told the police to intervene)
* It can be interchangeable with the past perfect progressive.
* Putting emphasis on the fact (the past perfect progressive focuses on the duration of the event).

5/ * Future Tense (going to): (a.k.a. Future Simple):
* Decision made for the future / Planning (e.g. I am going to visit the gymnasium later)
* Conclusion with regard to the future (e.g. He got low GPA and SAT scores, he is, definitely, not going to apply for top-class colleges)

--> Conjugation:
* Affirmative: verb "to be" + going to (e.g. The president is going to leave the white house as soon as the new elected president do the sworn statement).

* Interrogative: verb "to be" + subject + going to (e.g. Is he going to have his stomach fed in the foster family?)
* Negative: verb "to be" + not going to (e.g. I'm not going to sign any paperwork if I don't get promotion).

6/ * Future Tense (will):
* Action in the future that cannot be influenced (e.g. He will die no matter what).
* Spontaneous decision (e.g. Any dog will logically counterattack roguishly if attacked).
* Assumption with regard to the future (e.g. The military will get prepared if ever threatened by WW III).

--> Conjugation:
* Affirmative: will + verb (-to).
* Negative: will not (won't) + verb (-to).
* Interrogative: will + subject + verb (-to).

7/ * Conditional Simple:
* An action that might take place (e.g. Under LSD's influence, the narrator would kill anyone in front of him).

--> Conjugation:
* Affirmative: would + verb (-to).
* Negative: would not (wouldn't) + verb (-to).
* Interrogative: would + subject + verb (-to).

* Well, I tried to explain the most commonly used tenses and provide two attached files herewith for your benefit. Talking with depth about these tenses would take ages, hence, I wanted to simplify things. I hope you get to benefit.

Post_3.png
The tenses' time line and their positions herein

Sunrise011

Jul 6, 2016

Writing Feedback / Fewer languages can make communication easier, so why bother to protect them from dying out? [5]

Paragraph 1: * ... that fewer languages --> that few languages
* I disagree with the viewpoint ... --> this
* I believe that language ~~also act as other important roles in our life~~ rather than ... --> ... has also other important roles in people's lives ...

* Clearly, you didn't pose your thesis quite properly, all you have done is rewriting the topic given in a very much similar way. This mistake can affect your essay in a genuine negative way, especially if you are writing your essay for academic purposes (IELTS)

Paragraph 2: * ~~First, language is a vital tool loading with people's ethnic identity and connects and relationship of people from the same hometown~~ (mis-constructed) --> First of all, language is a vital tool that gives each group of people their own ethnic identity and connects them proving their share to the same cultural interests and mindsets.

* ... Indigenous Taiwanese who ~~lives~~ ... --> live ("Indigenous Taiwanese" can be replaced by "they", that's why we don't put an "s")

Paragraph 3: * ... even though we never met European people ... ---> ... we have never met ... (The sentence does not contain any time indications hence you should use the present perfect)

* ... we imagine them to be gorgeous ... --> high-class ("gorgeous" is used to describe someone physically / e.g. "gorgeous body", "gorgeous girl").

* General Review: * You have written an average essay that can be amended especially by avoiding some unforgivable conjugation mistakes at the academic level. You some expression mistakes. However, I think you should have explained the arguments you chose to develop with more depth. Your essay's outline is rather correct. Regardless of the mistakes aforementioned, you have chosen good ideas to discuss with appropriate examples and a rather-acceptable style. Finally, I would recommend that you keep practicing and trying to mind what I have told you.

Thank you, for the effort.

Sunrise011

Jul 5, 2016

Writing Feedback / Should kids study a foreign language as early as possible? IELTS2 [7]

Dear Dicki,
Here are some tips and corrections that may be helpful:

* Paragraph 1: * ~~All children should study a foreign language in school since in the earliest grades~~ --> It's fundamental that children learn a foreign language at an early age (I merely tried to enhance your sentence to give your essay an academic aspect)

* ...,but others tend to disagree while studying a foreign language ... --> while others tend to disagree even though studying ...
* ... children shouldknows ... --> know (without an "s" / Rule: Subject + should + infinitive verb [- to])

* Paragraph 2: * It is argued that studying a foreign language in the earliest grades help children to explore more. This is because it will ... --> Teaching children foreign languages at an early age to improve their observation and exploring skills has always been a topic of argument and discussion because ... (The sentence you used is already put in the first paragraph. Thus, in order to keep your essay worth-reading you need to vary the expressions and the used vocabulary) .

* ... This is because it willencourages ... --> encourage (The simple future tense conjugation rule: Subject + will + infinitive verb [-to]) .
* ... subjecs ... --> subjects
* ~~Fot the example~~ , ... --> For example (You can use "For instance", too);
* They will mades their friend ... --> ... made their friends.
* ... so there will be a challanges to be better (mis-constructed) --> ... so they will be challenged to get better in the language they're learning.

* ~~It is thus, children should learn the foreign language earlier.~~ --> this sentence is useless because the idea you added is aforementioned twice in different words (BEWARE of repetition when not needed).

* Paragraph 3: * It is unavoidable ~~that knowing well their own languages is a necessary for children~~ --> It is unavoidable how essential for children to master their native languages before getting into learning other languages' business.

* ... childrens ... environtment ... --> children / environment.

Final Review: * Your essay definitely needed much more clarification and explanation. The vocabulary is average. You did lots of conjugation and spelling mishaps that reflected badly on the information provided in your arguments. Therefore, I strongly recommend that you spell check your future essays before representing them and try to learn the conjugation and grammar rules because they are of a paramount importance in your score. However, you should keep practicing such essays in order to applicate these rules.

Thank you for the effort, anyway.

Sunrise011

Jul 4, 2016

Undergraduate / 'all drugs come with side effects' - Issue of importance; feel free to critique any mistakes. [8]

Dear Maha,
Paragraph 1: * Many are minor --> ...trivial ("minor" is usually used before a noun / e.g. Minor drugs)
* ...~~, and some are just plain strange~~ --> and other types of drugs are plain obscure (Don't put a comma before an "and" / Avoid using "just" or "justly" in academic writing)

* I suppose that the 1st paragraph is the introduction of your essay. Well, it seemed like you got caught up in talking about drug types and their side effects in an accurate way, which should be avoided in the introduction. Hence, the introduction should be short, precise and mysterious in order to induce the reader to keep on reading.

Paragraph 2: * ~~One of the person in many different drug users~~ is my dad --> One of the many drug users is my dad.
* These drugs not only waken the immune system but also ~~makes body habitual of their usage~~ --> These drugs not only weaken the immune system but also make their usage a body habit.

* When arguing, you need to make sure that you organize your arguments between presenting the thesis, explaining it and giving examples. However, the argument presented was wholly about your father and his story with drugs. Thus, you should have put a greater emphasis on explaining the thesis. Regarding your example, I want give a tip; try to not use examples which are related to your personal life. I advise to use examples that are most likely to be common knowledge like official statistics, researches' results ...etc, in order to be more convincing.

Paragraph 3: * diseases can be minimized by ~~not taking lots of calories~~ such as Jung food and sodas --> ... avoiding to ingest high-calorie foodstuffs ... junk ...

* Your essay, as a whole, contained acceptable language. It's definitely a good effort, yet there's room for improvement. Besides the grammatical, spelling and vocabulary mishaps, you had the right ideas but you didn't quite avail thembecause you didn't have an appropriate outline. Therefore, you should consider putting the main ideas you'll be talking about in order in you scratch paper before you start working on your essay.

Thank you.

Sunrise011

Jul 3, 2016

Scholarship / Why I feel that I deserve this scholarship (150 words) [9]

Dear Dennis,
your essay seemed genuinely straight forward. You talked about your achievements in a very accurate way, although, I didn't get to know you as a person through it. I reckon you should be talking about the benefits you've had and how these experiences influenced you. However, there's room for improvement but a good effort, thank you.

Sunrise011

Jul 3, 2016

Writing Feedback / Being a celebrity: a dream or a nightmare? [6]

Being a celebrity: a dream or a nightmare?

Generally, fame is usually considered as a source of power and quality life. From the fans perspective, it's their fancy, their dearest aim to replicate their stars' clothing and everyday actions to feel satisfaction. Nevertheless, some still reckon that celebrity can be a true nightmare due to many factors. So, the real question is how can fame made people miserable rather than giving them the perfect taste of a cozy life?

In fact, when it comes down to famous people, we all keen on the bright and sensational part of their lives: the expensive cars, hot chicks, unique penthouses. They're wanted for pictures, signing autographs and even hand shakes by fans who take their stars as idols and real success examples. They're followed insanely on social media and their comments or pictures are considered red-hot news that shortly go viral. Thus, these ordinary people, who achieved progress, especially actors and singers, are utterly followed, admired and worshiped by others. From my perspective, I think, when doing their jobs, celebrities are more likely to enjoy gusty moments, yet, as fans can be genuinely rigid, fame can give some headaches regarding personal life.

Logically, celebrities hold a reputation that they're not willing to ruin, as a matter of fact they want appear to the crowd the way they plan to avoid embarrassing moments, hereupon, being followed by nosy people is frustrating. Let me break down for you, for instance, a famous person is actually an ordinary human being who have needs like sleeping peacefully, enjoying some privacy at home and meeting personal friends who doesn't want to get involved in "fame life". So, his life could be corrupted by getting seen in uncomfortable positions because there are people whose duty is to follow famous people and get them anguished by selling pictures of celebrities to magazines to give people a glance at their idols' personal life. Apparently, the paparazzi, who I was talking about, seems to be a true nightmare for them. Sometimes, the facts or the pictures revealed are far too dangerous or embarrassing that celebrities could accept giving away their reputation to get saved from the shame. Facts like getting proof of a singer taking drugs or pictures showing an actor having desperate needs that make them a pedophile can be counted as cases that ruined famous people's lives heretofore.

Taking a closer look on both sides of celebrity life, I find that fame is just a mis-behavioral chain reaction that led a totally successful and respected person into the hurricane of social media. Despite, what it has as advantages, it has severe stains on the famous people's psychological health and well-being. So, living with success as a dark horse is definitely a permanent solution; you're respected, loved but ultimately flying off the nosy people's radar.

To sum up, whether you're in the shadows or known by everyone around you, you need to make sure to make the right decisions to avoid people's attention or to put a space between your job and your privacy in order to have quiet as any human being needs.