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Life goals from a liberal arts education

2 - From Spiderman to FDR to Jesus, we have all... I think the paragraph about pro-athletes does not fit....

Undergraduatemichiganmaniac8 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
'Project WORTHY'. I need to cut some of this UIUC essay down, can you help?

9 - The first paragraph is identical as is the last. The second paragraph is better served by the second version...

Undergraduateanuj1450 - Nov 1, 2009Mustafa1991 - Nov 3, 2009
Chinese Chess - Stanford Intellectual Vitality Essay. Currently overlength )):

3 - fifteen instead of 15. Don't say "under me," because it sounds a little haughty. I think you...

Undergraduatezhangyitao - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
How to write an Essay Proposal?

2 - Well, if your class requires you to write this proposal, probably a rubric is provided with grading criteria... right?...

EssaysOptical24 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
'One Step Further' - Personal Statement dealing with overcoming challenges

2 - Gwendolyn, You're a great writer with a firm grasp on mechanics. Your personal story takes guts to share,...

Graduategfwillia - Nov 3, 2009ivyeyesediting - Nov 3, 2009
"what to gain from diversity"-UM prompt 2

3 - I think a lot of people would agree that those first sentences are not necessary. But... I really like...

Undergraduatebmore1991 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Meaingful interest- UM prompt #5

3 - This is an idea I had: Off in the distance, the world around me seemed to have stopped....

Essaysbmore1991 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
I saw that dual potential in National Art Honor Society (NAHS) ; extracurricular

2 - A few general comments: You know those people who get excited when they can fulfill mundane tasks and...

Undergraduate10healyc - Nov 3, 2009theplaniverse - Nov 3, 2009
TOEFL essay large firm and small company - higher income in a large one

4 - I like your essay... I preferred to working in the big firm. I will definitely benefit from their experience...

Writing Feedbackrmli - Nov 3, 2009bilal ABUZENAH - Nov 3, 2009
Basketball has become an indispensable part of my life - Common app short essay

7 - Thanks everyone :D This is my second draft. But it's 160 words long ==! So help me to cut...

Undergraduatetrung2012 - Nov 1, 2009trung2012 - Nov 3, 2009
My Cello - playing on it is my most challenging, but most rewarding personal activity.

3 - Playing the cello is my most challenging, but most rewarding personal activity. Sometimes, I practice anywhere from thirty minutes...

Undergraduatebyflash - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
World of knowledge, digital art

4 - Sorry I did not get here in time to help. I think you should not, in the future, use...

Undergraduatehdirt1 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Bringing attributes of Determination and time management to UF

2 - Oh, this part is very good!! ----> As the youngest child, I had the advantage... I think you...

Undergraduatepenutsmurf - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Two Statements - life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments

2 - Write a sentence about what you were doing instead of focusing on school. If you were passionate about something...

Undergraduateohmygoodness - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Common Application Volleyball essay; My family is notoriously terrible at sports

4 - In the last paragraphs, reflect on experiencing moments of extreme focus, meditative, similar to your other passion, which is...

Undergraduatesmallfry320 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
'Immigrant to the United States'; I did my best to avoid alienating from my American peers

5 - Don't end with that "good tings come in small packages," because it weakens your essay. Your essay is very...

Undergraduatemadmadiah - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Can happiness be defined? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

2 - Hapiness is an experience people wish to have. How to measure or define it has been a controversial topic...

Writing Feedbackwest - Nov 3, 2009thinhtvdhtm - Nov 3, 2009
The View out my Widndow and what it means

2 - If you want to talk about meandering, use commas: As I meander into the kitchen, I glance through...

Writing Feedbackperejdam - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Diversity Essay-Illustrating the value of diversity in my life.

3 - In the beginning, I think it is impressive that you talk about globalization as something that makes out fates...

Undergraduateperejdam - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Common App Essay: Choose your own topic: Poker as a conceit to life

2 - I think it might be more powerful without putting " " marks around "play a hand." "His heart...

Undergraduated3adma - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
BU three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use qualities

3 - This is a great final piece, however i feel as if you summarize why you want to go to...

UndergraduateYolaynyMCiriaco - Nov 2, 2009palakpatel1992 - Nov 3, 2009
Rutgers Music Essay- i'm not sure how to wrap up this ending

3 - tweaked it but im still unsure of how to end it......

Undergraduateech07410 - Nov 3, 2009ech07410 - Nov 3, 2009
What is the Expository Paper?

3 - A descriptive essay is one kind of expository essay. Look at expository essay on wikipedia, and it explains everything....

EssaysEF_Team - Nov 10, 2006EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
Applying for the University of Miami... My essay is over the word limit--- what do I do?

8 - Yes, it is good to meet their challenge and get it under the limit. Sometimes you can get rid...

Essaysteresagvl - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
"culture shock" - my first question

4 - Your thesis statement should be an important idea, the main reason for writing the essay. When students write...

Essaysdeem1 - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
My friend recommended me to read "The Great Blue Yonder"

2 - This is so good! However, you seem to be using yonder incorrectly. Google it. I think it refers to...

Writing Feedbackcryingpiggy - Nov 1, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
SOP for PhD program in Computer Science

4 - Hi Masoud, As far as the words in red: -MSc: don't use the abbreviation--expand it to reflect...

Graduatemasood_mj - Nov 2, 2009ivyeyesediting - Nov 3, 2009
Why did you chose this major?--Bucknell supp

3 - ...the relation between nature, science and humanity . I don't think the problem is that it is too...

Undergraduatedark horse - Oct 31, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
the hardships caused by wars - my supplemental essay!

4 - Nice job! I think you should add a sentence to the first paragraph. Make it a sentence that uses...

Undergraduatehbrad8002 - Oct 11, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
UM - Ann Arbor Undergraduate Admissions Essays

4 - ...two years, but it was not until this year that I finally gained insight that was truly meaningful --...

Undergraduategino250 - Oct 31, 2009EF_Kevin - Nov 3, 2009
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