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"My Own Dr. 90210" - common app essay

7 - thanks again for more ideas. btw in the first paragrapg, i was trying to say i want to do...

Undergraduatetal105 - Jul 27, 2009tal105 - Jul 28, 2009
Tiny Amherst Essay: Anything to Tweak?

4 - Thank you so much for the constructive criticism; it has been a great help! I'm planning on sending this...

Undergraduatekenziii - Jul 26, 2009kenziii - Jul 28, 2009
O'connor, "Good Country People" - fixing my Thesis statement

6 - Hah! I didn't notice that. Good point....

Book Reportscrimson - Jul 27, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 28, 2009
"the bureaucratic mechanism" poem Review

5 - I didn't claim that poems can't deal with abstract philosophical concepts directly, just that this poem begins by grounding...

Poetryfractalnode - Jul 27, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 28, 2009
Diversity, my different background - UM diversity esssay

6 - Thanks for the advice....

Undergraduateimmefrank - Jul 27, 2009immefrank - Jul 28, 2009
Is the content too cynical for the common application?

3 - I agree. While the story is compelling, you must remember the purpose, which is to tell the admissions committee...

Undergraduatetiantian12 - Jul 28, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 28, 2009
"valuable traits", "photographer" - Need help on revising two application essays

19 - Yeah, "the fact that" is a lazy phrase. I use it myself sometimes because I can be lazy,...

UndergraduateOrchid19 - Jul 23, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 28, 2009
"Panic. Chaos. Insanity." - Stanford Roommate Essay

17 - Did you ever come up with a revised draft for this one?...

Undergraduateaan027 - Jul 14, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 28, 2009
Reasons why people listen to music

7 - I would recommend you to give specific genre of music that people would listen to relieve their stress from...

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 23, 2009john6503 - Jul 28, 2009
"Significant Experience" essay - need advice on the content of this essay

22 - Well, any essay you write should have a theme. Usually for application essays, each essay conveys one or more...

Undergraduatenike - Jul 18, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 28, 2009
"Fleeting memories" - Are there any significant experiences you have had....

16 - WOW! u can write. both of these do show that :D i did like the 1st one better though!...

Undergraduatekura - Jul 18, 2009tal105 - Jul 27, 2009
"Want to be a doctor" - Penn State, personal statement

26 - I grew up an only girl with seven brothers in a single family home with my mother. We lived...

UndergraduateMichele1248 - Jul 17, 2009tal105 - Jul 27, 2009
Introductory speech about myself, my family, my job

16 - This thread should come with a warning! I just about spewed my Coke all over my computer. It will...

Speechessandya - Jul 6, 2009Notoman - Jul 27, 2009
Basic advises...for Clep Essay

7 - Whenever you get an agree/disagree essay, you must call to mind the words of wisdom once uttered by the...

EssayskristenAnn - Jul 20, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 27, 2009
"my peers' views" - admission essay-common app

5 - The question is: Did you participate in truly voluntary civic activities, rather than resume-embellishing activities? If so, list them....

Undergraduatextlraptor - Jul 24, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 27, 2009
Work alone or in groups

10 - Oh I didn't read the question thoroughly, I thought it was asking whether you agree or not, which mostly...

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 21, 2009john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
'Student-run clubs' - Johns Hopkins Short Answer

16 - Okay, then yes, your essay is fine. I just wanted to see the exact prompt, because you could have...

Undergraduate10tlala - Jul 25, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 27, 2009
Teaching public speaking to children - essay writing ideas?

3 - Right, there's no need to force yourself to take a position with which you do not agree, especially if...

Essaystrangquynh - Jul 26, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 27, 2009
Story that affected me most - my TOEFL essay

5 - Your grammar structure and sentencing skills look really professional considering that English isn't your first language. However, for TOEFL,...

Writing Feedbackfearistheenemy - Jul 17, 2009john6503 - Jul 27, 2009
"To persue studies on a dedicated level" - Common App. Transfer Essay

4 - That about covers it. Provide us with the exact question you are supposed to be answering, and a...

Undergraduatemollymango - Jul 20, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 27, 2009
UCF Admissions essay - family history environment / culture - suggestions / proofread?

21 - "Living in a different country for most of my life forced me to become absorbed into its culture." You...

Undergraduatekrisdp25 - Jul 13, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
Comparing pre and post Gold Rushes of the 1850s in Australia.

14 - Did these mostly balance out overall? If so, the effects on the Aboriginals may not really qualify as a...

Research Papersqwerty - Jul 19, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
My teacher claims my essay was too ambiguous and general..

7 - As you write your argumentative piece, try to make sure that your logic is as clear as possible. Identify...

Grammar, UsageComplex - Jul 25, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English)

19 - Yes, Simone's suggestion is in fact one that comes down squarely on the con side. It...

EssaysCalamityJane - Jul 15, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
First Essay: How to Pick the Right Fights

4 - Your essay suffers from some ambiguity about what you mean by "fights." The title suggests that are you are...

Writing FeedbackTamzus - Jul 25, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
"The Curious incident of the dog......."-Christopher's change & lessons learned

26 - "In the curious case of the dog in the night-time, Mark Haddon illustrates the how the protagonist Chris Boone...

Essaysyonman - Jul 20, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
"Not everyone is born with confidence" - Essay for common application

6 - I'm glad to hear that! I think you've got it right. Your engaging list of foibles...

Undergraduatetiantian12 - Jul 25, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 26, 2009
"working outside the academic world" - Advice for my GRE issue

2 - One of the strengths of this essay is its nuance. Your distinction between academic fields and the specific examples...

Writing Feedbackmathsam - Jul 25, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 26, 2009
The New Bus Driver

7 - You can find a fairly comprehensive list of racial epithets here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs Several of the terms listed are...

Writing Feedbackkennethfatty - Jul 25, 2009EF_Sean - Jul 26, 2009
College app: Contribution to educational environment essay: help with beginning

6 - Try it a couple of different ways. See what you like best. Hey! That works when creating recipes too!...

Undergraduatebluedog - Jul 23, 2009EF_Simone - Jul 25, 2009
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