Graduate / (Masters in Development Economics at SOAS) Development Economics PS [3]

Having majored in Economics as an undergraduate, I would now like to concentrate on Development Economics due to my wish to find new ways in Global Development ---This part doesn't make sense.

The degree in Economics was highly demanding in mathematical and technical terms, giving me excellent numerical skills and the ability to conduct statistical tests.

On one hand Macro Economics was very interesting because it is organized ...

The model that I most agree with is the Keynesian because of its active government intervention.

On the other hand, Microeconomics allowed me to understand the economic...

Another relevant experience that decisively contributed to my decision to take this master was the internship in East-Timor.

During six months I had the opportunity to see how people live in such a developing country as East Timor.

As I was able to see and talk to the people in first-hand, and it helped me to better understand the problems that they face.

For all of this, I expect that the Master in Development Economics at SOAS will allow me to have a deeper and more critical knowledge about Economic...

:)

Undergraduate / "Time" - McMaster Health Science: a Four Letter Word that should be Preserved [3]

This four letter word, time, should survive through itself(time) as it is perhaps the most significant word in existence.

You were brought into this world through a time process of around nine months.

The preservation of time could prevent a missed train, a lost race, the death of a loved one...

Finally, the word, "time" cannot be replaced because time is applied to almost everything, ...

Changing this universal word would be changing almost everything, which is such a waste of time.---ha ha

:)

Writing Feedback / [IELTS]Can distance learning bring the same benefits of attending schools? [3]

Whether technology should change the way we learn has caused heated debates .

My view is that despite the increasing variety of information resources nowadays, classroom-based learning will be more important for most students.

So, the need of the presence of a teacher to stimulate the minds and bring out the creativity in their students will always be there.

If students do not attend class in person, a teacher will not be able to help them build self-confidence and teach them to think creatively.

In sum, the benefits of traditional learning are far greater for most students.

:)

Undergraduate / USC (The Experience of Geeks in the Future / Geeks and Nerds) [2]

Since this school is dedicated to nurturing its students into becomin g successful, the education that this school gives is something that I would like to learn.

... I feel like that I should be involved in these courses that are tangential to past entertainment.

I have often questioned myselfwondered how game designers can create a game that is built upon the majesty of its digital design.

With these courses offered to me at USC, I can feel that questions of the unknown will finally be answered in due time.

As for experiences outside of the classroom, I have visualized and fantasized of what I would like to do in the future.

-------------------------

The term of a "geek" has been used throughout many school campuses and labels students based on how they dress.

But the true, deeper meaning of a geek defines them as a students with intellectual skills.

Applying to the Viterbi School of Engineering as a geek will help me interact with other "geeks" and together, we can achieve many ---?--- through friendship and collaboration through future engineering projects that can benefit this world.

:)

Scholarship / 'my higher studies in Pakistan' - Need-based Scholarship Essay [4]

Since I will pursue my higher studies in Pakistan, it only seemed sensible to opt for the local system, but switching over to something completely different at this crucial juncture seemed foolish.

A tornado of questions swirled in my mind for weeks.---This is great writing!

------

This new world was alien to me, and my academic performance went down a steep slope.

As disheartening and frustrating that was, I knew I could not give up.

I remember pushing myself beyond my potential, many times even surprising myself.

Within a little time I had managed to adapt to a completely new environment, and even secured a position in class.

I am a struggler, always have been.---I think this would sound better if you change the word 'struggler' to 'fighter'!

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'I can achieve academic goals' - UW Madison Essay [5]

The sweat stings my eyes as it rolls down my forehead and into them , and I can feel the burn in my chest and legs as I push up the hill.

Once I stop, my legs feel weak and I'm slightly lightheaded, but the sense of accomplishment that floods through me is worth it.

It is a familiar feeling, because this is more or less how all my mornings start in the summer.

Although I had to wake up at 6:30, I love Cross Country and I wouldn't trade these mornings for all the sleep in the world.

I think this was an excellent topic to write about! Good luck with school!

:)

Essays / RE; essay "Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow" - [4]

This sounds like it's got the potential to be a fun essay to write! Don't forget to open with a strong and interesting first sentence and paragraph! When you finish, send it back here for an edit or two. Good luck and have fun!

:)

Writing Feedback / 'planning of up-to-date and metropolitan cities' - Ielts essay review [4]

In the modern world, today, a huge number of buildings are being constructed for a variety of reasons.

As a result, this has created a considerable controversy over whether governments should manage the designs of modern constructions or rather the constructors are better able to make these decisions according to their preferences.

Before a final conclusion is drawn, both of these views should be analysed carefully.

Otherwise, most buildings would appear very similar, which would probably result in public dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, supporters of government management of buildings' design maintain that the planning of up-to-date and metropolitan cities is a matter of public concern.

They argue that the regimes would create far more sophisticated plans for cities, and that generally, the cities would be more organized and disciplined, where each building would function as a part of a comprehensive unit.

:)

Scholarship / 'specialization on child and families and social work' - Scholarship Essay [3]

How about like this:

I have developed my practical skills and broadened my understanding of disadvantaged child and family's related issues that occur at a grassroots level, by working with various non governmental organizations over six years in Indonesia.

I've assisted children and families through facilitating and evaluating psychosocial humanitarian intervention both, in emergency settings such as Tsunami Relief Program in Aceh, and in a development context e.g. an integrated nutrition program in NTT and my current project on helping victims of human trafficking and people smuggling in West Kalimantan.

------------------------------------------------
I strongly believe that my proposed study will benefit Indonesian government; related stakeholders and communities, especially in isolated and neglected locations, as in these areas,the availability of child and family specialistsbeing able to address their issues more pertinently and comprehensively is inadequate".

:)

Writing Feedback / 'experiences obtained from work and travel are valuable' - IELTS essay [2]

It has almost become a western tradition for students, who are about to commence the first year of university, to take a year off to either conduct their first attempt in the workforce or fulfill the teenager dream-visit foreign countries and experience exotic culture.

For students who seek for working opportunities, they may overlook or underestimate their disadvantaged situation.

As fresh graduates from high schools, students normally do not have professional skills and working experiences, which make them less competitive in the labor market.

Therefore, it is unlikely for them to find promising jobs and most of them end up with low-end "blue-collar" jobs which can hardly provide any working experience.

Many students start their journey with hopes of befriending strangers , appreciate exotic cultures and deal with unexpected crisis, which can also be achieved in universities.

Interestingly, university life can provide all the sensation that a young traveler craves -getting acquainted with new classmates, enjoying a long chat with international students and coping with assessments.

On top of that , all this can be achieved with minimum cost and without falling behind their peers.

:)

Graduate / 'double-majored in sociology and psychology' - SOP - graduate MPH program [5]

I have been involved in the healthcare field for seven years in a various sales positions, from medical devices to biologics to pharmaceutical sales.

During that time, I have learned a great deal and gained invaluable experience within many sub-specialties of healthcare, including pediatrics, ...

... with a focus on positive outcomes and long-term efficacy.

This experience in particular, helped me to realize my love and passion for working to improve outcomes for patients, and the importance of patient education.

Great opening paragraph and great essay! They'll be lucky to have you as a student. Good luck with school, though I don't think you'll need it.

:)

Essays / Perfection is a privilege - essay to tell my school about me? [6]

Well, start your essay with the main idea you want to convey, and do it with a powerful or interesting first sentence and paragraph. What do you hope to get out of school? What is your intended major? What have you done (if anything) to work towards these goals? Use the next few paragraphs to explain and back up your first paragraph, then at the end, sum up.

Just start your essay, and then send it back here so we can have a look at it and help you.

:)

Undergraduate / How life experience has prepared me to be a nurse. [3]

I have witnessed the best and worst parts of the nursing environment and it did not make me cower away from this profession.

Working as a nursing assistant is filled with surprising incidences and sometimes risky duties, but they constantly draw me more and more to this profession.

There is never a day that is like the last, and I have become close to the residents and become much more aware of their well-being.

I was really worried about the resident, and was immediately by his side and calling for the nurse.

A fall is an incident that most nursing assistants encounter, but it was also an experience that...

My experience as a nursing assistant has also taught me that communication and listening skills, along with comfort and care, help with promoting the residents health physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I have seen that eating with the residents along with having conversations with them have encouraged the residents to consume more foods, and it also puts them in high spirits.

Since then, I have grown as a person, and have realized how important a good education is.

...University because I do feel the university has helped me to reach excellence while learning in a caring environment.

:)

Undergraduate / (give back to the communities / interest in philosophy) - UW 1 and 2 [5]

I have spent many hours at my local hill, keeping it safe and assisting the injured.

As an avid outdoors-person, I have always had jobs in which I could pass on my knowledge of the equipment and skills necessary for outdoor activities and my enthusiasm for an active lifestyle.

I have always had strong analytical skills, and my interests and persuasions have always been driven by them.

These proclivities have led me to an interest in philosophy and the sciences.

I intend to use what I gain in philosophy for future work in education, law, or a social science.---nice!

------------------------------------------------

Even though it took me a little longer, I believe that my deliberate change in values has now resulted in a drive towards my academic goals.

I think these could be even better if you throw in a relevant quote from a favorite philosopher!
Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Undergraduate / 'I worked diligently in school' - Common App Transfer Essay - Education [11]

I approached him afterwards, where he said "oh, Karla, I didn't think anyone would actually do it. Thank you, though." ---This is terrible! What a sorry excuse for a teacher!

I graduated high school with the idea of moving forward with my education ; of figuring out a way to help all the ones left behind.

What I was unclear about, was which major to choose.

Simultaneously, the diverse background provides for a strong foundation, which I know will become useful for my plans.

This is great now! Nice work!

:)

Undergraduate / WCMC-Q admission Essay about Dreams [3]

This is pretty great! I think though, that as it's titled 'essay about dreams', you should say close to the beginning something like 'my dream is to study medicine'. Then at the end, say something about how studying at Cornell would go a long way in helping your dream become a reality. Good luck with school!

Writing Feedback / 'Doctor is a respectful job in many cultures' - IELTS essay [5]

However, with the increasing demand for monetary rewards, many doctors have been accused of being unethical by abdicating their responsibilities to serve the general public as more doctors practice lucrative services for rich patients.

In my opinion, the benefits from giving privileges to rich patients outweigh the drawbacks.

First of all, the booming of private health care services, which include plastic surgery, maternity care , and private health care, can be complementary to the public health system.

Therefore, the thriving of private health services would provide an attractive option for patients who can afford them and, furthermore, it can alleviate pressures on the public health system.

Moreover, only with increased living standards, can patients demand the division of private and public health care.

Plastic surgery is an excellent example to elaborate on this. A few decades ago, only a handful of celebrities had received cosmetic surgeries, whereas in the new millennium, plastic surgeries ...

It is the market demand that makes sure the sprout and thrive of ---what does this mean?--- plastic surgery.

In conclusion, being a doctor is a respectful job in many cultures and the integrity and dignity of this profession...

:)

Essays / Need help on starting an essay on injustice (+posted essay) [9]

What type of injustice? What class is it for? Is there anything you are passionate about concerning injustice, like for example, water boarding or other forms of torture, or racial profiling, cruelty to animals, etc? Just choose a topic, sum it up in an interesting way for your first paragraph, back up your main idea in the next few paragraphs, then sum up again. See what you can do, then send it back through here for us to have a look at how it's going, and we can help you.

:)

Essays / The structure myosin II essay - stuck on word count [4]

It will be much easier to help you, once you post what you've got so far. Don't panic, just send what you have, and we'll have a look at how we can help you fluff it up!

:)

Graduate / From Tragedy to Victory P.A School Narrative [4]

All my life, I have felt this pressing desire to aid others with the obstacles they faced whether medical or not.

As a young child, I had this dream of growing up to become a superhuman hero who can take everyone's pain away.

It was at that moment that I realized this dream of curing others ails was my calling.---Was your grandmother fairly young when she passed? I think it would go a long way in making your essay more personal, if you write what age she was. (Every little bit might help!)

One day a young girl sat at my lunch table, and her name was Danielle.

We were told that Danielle had cancer and she had died that weekend. ---Oh! That's terrible! Your essay is off to a good start, so when you finish, send it back through here for another look!

:)

Undergraduate / Extra curricular essay for Common app-Volunteering at a hospital [4]

After volunteering in a hospital for nearly a year, I have made so many new friends and acquired so much experience, that I believe I would have never been able to find anywhere else .

Every Saturday morning, I have the opportunity to interact with others and to help them .

The time and energy I have put into volunteering has prominently shown, through the time management, collaboration, and communication skills I've acquired.

From working the reception desk to delivering meals, I have learned how to handle a variety of tasks,from volunteering and I sincerely enjoyed every moment of it.

:)

Scholarship / I come from a low income family; (Public Relations- major) scholarship [3]

First, figure out the main topic of your essay, then sum it up in a powerful first sentence. What are your educational and career goals, and the reason(s) for choosing Public Relations as your major? What is the perfect job you'd like to have in the future, what are your goals, and how would the scholarship help you to reach those goals?

So, powerful first sentence and paragraph, use the next 2 paragraphs to back them up, then sum up again in the last paragraph. Then of course, send it back here, and we'll have a look at how it's going. Good luck and have fun with it!

:)

Undergraduate / UC Berkeley Questionnaire on Disability [11]

You said 'please help me and be harsh', but I sure find it hard to edit anything, this is so well written.

2.--------------------------
In class discussions, I would base my comments off of those of other students, rather than find original concepts to bring up.---Here, I just added a comma.

My academic performance has been strengthened by the increasing support of my parents and teachers and the wonderful academic-oriented climate I was raised in.

3.-------------------------
I would sit down with my teacher, and we would discuss revisions, which I'd take into account before submission.

5.--------------------------
Any time ---Two words here.--- I was engaged in a conversation, I would restrict myself to talking about the schedule...

You are an amazing writer, and have made me feel closer to my brother in law, who is autistic and the smartest, most interesting and creative person I know.

:)

Undergraduate / "Look at her; she is the only Chinese." - Common App personal [14]

I was not able to listen to or understand class discussions in English, and had to spend my lunch period alone without any acquaintances.

Why was I the only student from China attending this school?

I was not deterred by my challenges, but I had discovered my own way in this distinctive realm.

My two worlds collided, integrating in harmony.---I like this sentence a lot!

Sitting in the car with Andrew, I realized every ethnicity is unique in its own way, but diversity makes the world go around.

I had found my way by crossing arbitrary boundaries and getting to know people who aren't like me, by being proud of my Chinese heritage and embracing other cultures.

With respect and mutual understanding, I knew I would have a wonderful night.

:)

Scholarship / 'I am a recovering alcoholic' - Scholarship [3]

At Comprehensive, I graduated Intensive Outpatient Treatment and am now receiving one-on-one counseling in hopes of moving forward from the unfortunate experience of a being raped when I was 17 years old.

In 2009, after a divorce and the significant loss of a childhood friend, symptoms of my Post Traumatic Stress syndrome surfaced.

I am currently a student at Yakima Valley Community College, working to obtain my Associates Degree in Chemical Dependency Studies.

My goal is to give back to the community that saved my life, by working with individuals suffering from dual diagnoses. I deally, I will return to Pathways one day as a Counselor.

I hope everything goes well for you, you deserve it.

:)

Writing Feedback / Self-Identity Paper for Ethnic Minorities Class, I haven't been in college for 15 yrs [4]

I am a 34 year old, single white female of Scandinavian descent, who is in recovery from alcoholism, attending school full time to pursue a career in Social Work.

As children, my brother and I did not know we were "poor" but as I grew older I became more aware of the discrepancy between myself and my peers in relation to socioeconomic status.

For several years after my time at PLU, I identified myself as a Lutheran.

... therefore I currently identify with more of an atheist perspective on creationism than anything.

After battling alcoholism for fifteen years, I have found my path to sobriety.

This is great, and I admire you for getting back up. Many people never do, so you're an excellent example, that people can get better and go on to do great things! Good luck with school and in all you do.

:)

Undergraduate / 'being close to my family' - science personal essay [3]

My passion for science came frombegan when I was diagnosed with Scoliosis in the seventh grade.

My personal experiences of being a patient and knowing firsthand the relationship and trust I built with my doctor, planted the desire I have in medicine.

That desire intensified in high school when I set my educational goals by going to Western Michigan University (WMU) and studying Pre- Nursing.

My goals were derailed when my grandmother passed away my first semester in college.

Even though I returned to WMU for another year, I had begun to question my desire to go into the medical field.

Once my grandmother passed away I thought being close to my family would help put me on the right path as far as school was concerned.

As a psychology major, I'm still looking for a personal fulfillment.

:)

Poetry / Comparing two poems, Daddy and Do not go gentle into that good night [2]

Well, what do you know about the authors? For example, Sylvia Plath was greatly affected by the death of her father when she was very young, and it showed in her poetry throughout her whole life. Dylan Thomas was writing about the death of his father also, but in a much different way, imploring him to fight off death. I don't know of any other poem of his which mentions the death of his father, but there may be some. I think you'll have an easier time with this project if you look into the lives of the poets.

:)

Research Papers / Queen elizabeth as a poet - thesis statement incompleted [5]

Here are a few places to get you started;

elizabethan-era.org.uk/interesting-facts-about-queen-elizab eth-i.htm
funtrivia.com/en/People/Elizabeth-I-8760.html

I looked up 'interesting facts about Queen Elizabeth 1'. Maybe you could write something out of the ordinary, like an essay about her insecurities. (She wore big dresses with huge sleeves so people would perceive her as bigger, etc.)

Good luck and try to have fun with this!

:)

Undergraduate / 'helping combat human trafficking in Nepal' - Mt.Holyoke Transfer [3]

I was struck by the enormous diversity in pool of such a small student population.

Slowly sipping our coffees, we settled onto a sofa in the corner, discussing and debating about government, poverty and human trafficking in Asia.

My passion, and also my long term goal is to help combat human trafficking in Nepal.

One of the biggest reasons I chose to apply to Mt.Holyoke is because it is dedicated to creating strong women in any field by giving...

For this reason, I chose Mt.Holyoke, because I believe that it is the only institution that will only help me to become the person that I want to become by giving me the opportunity to take leadership roles.

However, I realized that is not possible in every college and for that reasons I chose to transfer to Mt.Holyoke where the professors are willing to help and spend their time with students as much as possible. One of my biggest reasons for transferring to Mt Holyoke is due to my desire of building a close familial relationship...

Good luck with school and have fun!

:)

Letters / (summer internship program) - Cover letter for position at Museum [3]

I believe my experience with customer service at my previous job at Keyfood, will make me an ideal candidate for this opening.

I am punctual, responsible and I adapt to new tasks relatively quickly .

The opportunity to be employed here will help me better explore my field of interest before I am ready to be fully committed.

I hope to become equipped with the skills and knowledge i needfor my future careers .

If given the opportunity to be a part of your program, I will establish myself to be a great ...

Always capitalize your 'I's. Good luck with the job!

:)

Undergraduate / 'I am naturally selfish' - college application [6]

Last year, my mother asked if I'd be interested in volunteering on Thanksgiving with The Good Shepherd Alliance, which provides clothing to the underprivileged.

I agreed to go, but thought only of how this would look on my college resume.---I admire your honesty!

Upon arriving, I was as interested as my little sister would be at an Silversmith concert.---This is a little interested, or a lot?

To my friends I'm a tough guy, but hugging those kids after they received a hand-me-down jacket like it was a designer brand, was enough to tear down any facade of toughness I was seeking to project.

:)

Graduate / 'to help my home country Nigeria' - SOP for MSc PETROLEUM ECONOMICS [3]

My career plan was to progress from having the full knowledge of the financial sector, then move to Masters in Petroleum Economics and Management.

I learnt the different process that ranges from production to distribution, maximization; also I ---Always capitalize your 'I's--- learnt a lot about Petroleum

As a team leader and with the help of other team players, I set up a tone and processes in the paper students should follow when handling a project of any kind.

I was able to figure out the purpose of the project, influence each team member and created a way for them to contribute to the accomplishment of the paper project.

...home country Nigeria carry out research and analysis, value oil and gas projects, assets and companies using the petroleum finance techniques.

This sentence is confusing, you should revise for clarity.

I believe that after studying petroleum Economics and management,...

If I am given the opportunity to study Petroleum Economics and Management, which attracts some of the best students from all over the world, it will provide an environment competitive enough to bring out the best in me for my home country, Nigeria.

:)

Undergraduate / I had no idea about choosing major of undergraduate studies when I was graduated from high school. [3]

To be honest, I had no idea about choosing a major of undergraduate studies when I was graduated from high school.

I put software engineering as my third choice .

Intrigued by the power of the computer after one-year experience of studying at this major, and I successfully persuaded my parents to give up the idea that I should change my major.

Because of my interest , I spend most of my time on this major, even including my summer/winter holidays.

Fortunately, I have had some achievements during my hard working .

Among those, one project called Distributed file encryption hidden system is Patent pending.---This is great!

When I found out that there was a program called Information Systems which is designed to address this training gap and educate information and Communication Technology professionals, I enjoyed a lot of interestsbecame very interested.

In order to make myself be able to keep up with the needs of this fast-paced industry, I decided to pursue this program.

They'll be lucky to have you as a student!

:)

Scholarship / How working with a member of parliament influence your career? Fellowship Essay! [2]

This requires that for a successful career in the field of public policy, which is both challenging and exhaustive, one should not just be a master of one ...

For instance, while working on a project of parking management in the walled city Jaipur this summer, I realized that a problem that on the surface looked...

It is for these reasons that I wish to participate in the LAMP fellowship program, as it will provide me a platform for exposing myself...

As per my knowledge of all the programmes for internships or fellowships that are available to fresh undergraduates in the country today are tailored around specific fields and not much diverse as is required for a hard core public policy career.---This sentence should be revised for clarity.

On the contrary,to this while listening to the experiences of the current and past LAMP fellows I was intrigued by the plethora of issues that the MPs (member of parliament) have to deal with on daily basis and was equally swept off the floor when I learned that some of the fellows got a chance to interact with the people at the grass root level (of the MP's constituency) who are affected by the policies that are formulated inside the four walls of parliament.

:)

Graduate / (green energy / India / engineering skills / business community) YALE SOM [4]

Immediately after receiving my MBA, I would like to work at an executive position with a green energy company, planning and implementing...

2.
However, success of such a venture would immensely depend---I crossed out 'immensely' here because you just had the word 'immense' in the previous sentence, making it sound repetitive.-- upon the quality of waste, and hencetherefore waste management would be a very important part of the business model.

3.
My education so far at Yale has further broadened my understanding of environmental science and policy, and has convinced me of the importance of innovative entrepreneurial green ideas in ensuring a sustainable future.

This is great, very well thought out and written.

Writing Feedback / 'Lack of Respect' - essay edit [3]

Today, some children are raised to only think of themselves and to not respect their elders or their surroundings.

Citizens do not respect themselves, others, and their surroundings. ---Too much like the previous sentence.

Depending on the severity, it can also lead to depression or even suicide.

As Kevin Kahn took a stroll through his childhood park he was amazed by the amount of lack of respect visitor's show to this park.

Rusty beer cans and bottle caps are found throughout the park within feet from the previous one.---The previous what?

Many people are amazed by the impact we have made on nature.

If lack of respect to the environment continues the world we all live in might die.

During the holidays many people wait til the last minute to shop for their Christmas presents.

Angelina listens to what her students have to say and she listens to their opinions.

If more people were respectful the world would be more positive and lively.

I respect your opinions here!

:)

Dissertations / Corporate Social Responsibility and the Law [4]

I have completed my master degree in law, and I am looking to undertake PHD soon.

My LLM dissertation topic was on corporate social responsibility (CSR) within the oil and gas sector, which was more dedicated to the business side of CSR.

However, for my PHD I want to move on from the business case of CSR to the relationship between CSR and the law, and whether CSR can be employed to improve justice and impose legal accountability on Multinational Corporations, and I will be so grateful if anyone can provide me with some ideas in this field .

I hope this helps!

:)

Undergraduate / 'don't want Shakespeare to write my play.' - AUC university [4]

This stage will determine all the other chapters of my life.

Generally, university benefits us a lot by improving not only our academic knowledge, but also our social skills.

However; The American University in Cairo is not a normal university. It is a dream to each student.

What makes AUC unique is its outstanding excellence in education .

Their highly qualified faculty knows what students should really learn.

Also, AUC's libraries and other educational labs provide a great learning environment, where research is a major part of education.

Because one of AUC's main goals is to provide a productive and creative atmosphere for students through...

Although there are not enough words to describe my desire to study at the American University in Cairo, a desire to study somewhere that offers remarkable education superiority, interesting cultural variety, and the inspiring student life, which are the tools for adding more value to my play.

Good luck with school!

:)

Letters / Resume Cover Letter For MBA applications [3]

As a student, I have preferred learning hands on, rather than memorizing notes and textbooks.

This has helped me make up my mind about applying to ABC University for the Full Time MBA Course.

I have participated in two programs, where I have had the opportunity to spend 1 year abroad.---Each, or together they lasted for one year?

This is an experience that I believe that the ABC University MBA will fulfill.

They'll be lucky to have you as a student. Good luck with school and have fun!

:)