Writing Feedback / Essay about Moving Image Technique in Advertising and Virtual Photography [4]

So what is that group called? It is called art (n)? That is strange with the parentheses...

Be careful here: "There have been ----> advances (plural)"
"Moving images have delighted and fascinated people all over the world for many centuries. From the first flickering pictures to today's computer generated images there has have been an extraordinary technological advances in cinema. Moving images entertain us and also influence us.

And a perspective is already the way we see something, so you should cross out part of this:
They offer a fresh perspective on the way we see ourselves and others. But why is moving image always associated with film or cinema? A film can be...

:-)

Undergraduate / "the recollection of our time together" - stanford supplement roomate essay [2]

I am a dreamer yet an activist and fun loving yet focused .(COULD YOU suggest a third contrast??) --- instead of contrasting qualities you claim to have, SHOW the reader with contrasting examples.

Do you have examples of actions you take that are paradoxical? It is better to give examples than to make claims. That is why writers say "Show, don't tell."

I believe that there is no end to the adventure we can have and this philosophy of mine never leaves me bored.---- Rather than telling about your philosophy, I think you should use this as an opportunity to discuss your intellectual interests. College is an intellectual occasion, so let's focus on your field of interest, your current activities, and so forth.

This intro is very cool!---> Affectionately known as the "atom bomb", I live up to my reputation.

Still, I think you should replace some of the philosophy with examples of your activities and also examples of your research interests. What do you want to learn about other than your major? What specialization do you want to achieve?

:-)

Undergraduate / "Scientist In Action" -- UIUC Academic Essay [2]

...he led us past Sector 19, a wing...--- for clarity

Harvesting may be the wrong word.

You can make this stronger by taking out some of the questions and details of the story and instead reading -- say... 5 articles that fascinate you. I am sure you have read professional journal articles about scientific research, but read a few today in order to get some fresh ideas. Then, your mind will be filled with specific research areas you would enjoy.

This is already impressive, but if you fill it with specific research areas you want to study it will be even better.

Writing Feedback / Gap years between finishing high school and starting university. [8]

When you revise, it is god to post the new draft in the same thread. If you write a new essay, start a new thread.

Taking a gap year has become a popular option among teenagers. However, if not considered thoroughly, the choice can be both positive and negative.--- this is correct. So, is it the main theme of the essay? Both positive and negative? Maybe it should be like this:

Taking a gap year has become a popular option among teenagers. However, if not considered thoroughly, the choice can have negative consequences in addition to the positive ones.

At the delicate age of eighteen, young adults can easily go off track, perhaps because of enjoying a job with a decent salary, and never returning to their studies.--- this is a well-written sentence.

:-)

Yes, I worry because my little sister is taking a year off and working at a company that will pay for some of her education ... 20% this year, 30% after 2 years, 40% after 3 years, and so forth, so it makes her want to wait years before attending college!

Faq, Help / Thanking moderators and everyone who gave me helpful suggestion [28]

Use verbs to make sentences:
drive
XXXXXXXX will drive to the YYYYYYYYYY before we ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Make
XXXXXXXX will make the YYYYYYYY for the ZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Write
XXXXXX will write the YYYYYYYYY for the ZZZZZZZZZ.

Is this what you mean?

Undergraduate / Common Application-First Aid: making a difference by joining the medical industry. [10]


Yes! It is crucial to show how well-developed your vision is for the future.

If you can express why you choose this over other specializations, it will be impressive. You have lots of choices. Why this one? Go deep in your reading of articles about various specializations, and show that you have done your research.

Writing Feedback / Agricultue as livelihood [3]

According to recent statistics there are more than 1.6 million Sri Lankans working abroad.

Do not just start a sentence with majority. You need "the"
The majority of workers are ...

Like this---> The products come from Sri Lanka. These are the products generated in Sri Lanka
The total value of the agriculture products that generated in Sri Lanka is the highest all.

... opportunities for the masses.

These crops can be found on lar ge plantations and manage by companies. --- is this what you meant to say?

Young people like to work in this sector as there is no uncertainty of income and they are also rewarded with a lump sum or monthly pension when they reached the retiring age.

Keep practicing! You write very well, and soon you will have no errors!

wholesale is one word, not two.

"another"
also, "workout" as one word refers to exercise
This is another scheme that can work out in a way that causes increased income for farmers.

Undergraduate / PEACE CORPS Essays; Why Volunteer and A Cultural Experience [3]

female and male, woman and man...
like this:
I am a native New Yorker, born in the peaceful and lively Queens. I was born to a Dominican woman and a Costa Rican man.

Do not use 'female' and 'man' but instead put like with like (i.e. woman and man, female and male)

Run on sentence:
Two among millions of people from all over the world who come to New York to start over.
fix it this way:
Two among millions of people from all over the world, they came to New York to start over.


Is this the thesis statement? I think the first para of most essays should have a sentence that sums up the central meaning of the essay.

I look at this sentence - "During my college years I studied French for a year, and after I purchased Rosetta Stone to continue practicing the language and possibly learn a new one..." - and it makes me ask myself, does this topic sentence support the thesis of the essay?

I hope you can put a powerful thesis at the end of the first para so the reader will know for sure the theme of the essay, and then the reader will be impressed with the body paragraphs expertly support the theme with examples.

You write well! I hope this helps.

Undergraduate / committed to achieving success / my family: MY FIRST UCF COLLEGE ESSAY [5]

From the moment I walked onto the UCF campus I knew that was where I belonged.

Everything from the diversity of people to the educational outcomes and the camaraderie comradely among students that I could achieve made my decision that much stronger surer and more intense. Looking into the r...


It is time to tentatively choose an area of study... a field of interest that reflects the values you gained while growing up. Keep working! You are doing well.

Undergraduate / "the beauty of the universe" - my first college admission essay [2]

Is your username chosen in honor of a very strange movie about Thai boxing?

Yep, frezard always gives great instruction.

Here is another idea, one with a dash:
one with peace and tranquility -- a world with which I could easily identify.

I wanted to know the answers; no I needed to know them. (this gets a little too strong with the claims, too much without backing the claims up by giving examples...

I needed to discover the secrets of the universe and everything in its seemingly infinite quarters. --- this is a great sentence, but really it is necessary to give examples of favorite authors such as Hawking or perhaps thinkers from philosophical traditions.

Years of science classes taught me that 15 billion years ago... the big bang is not blasphemy... actually, be careful of how you express it because it could cause confusion; some people think it is blasphemous because of straying from a biblical explanation. And anyway, the thing is, it looks like an explosion because the galaxies are moving away from another while simultaneously moving away from a central point. Or, that is my understanding, anyway. But where did that very dense compilation of matter come from before it big banged, that is what I want to know.

The topic sentence for the last para needs a ? question mark.

:-) I like the way you think, but the poetic sentences have all been done already. "I needed to discover, infinite possibilities, "... these are not as important as examples of your plans, the thinkers that influenced you, etc... the real examples.

I like this para a lot!!---> Every night I would gaze....

Undergraduate / The Easy Road to Success and Ruin ( Topic B: Issue of Importance ) [3]


Here at the end of the first para, I am still working to keep all the ideas in mind so I can determine the main theme. Maybe you can find a place here in the intro to express the thesis statement that will anchor the essay to a single, memorable idea.

Oh... drugs! Give a sentence in that intro to tell the main idea...

You have some great sentences in paragraph 2.

I like your examples... here, you need another comma:
They can ruin your childhood, they can ruin your career, and ...

Undergraduate / An obstinate learner, Personal quality/Experience that is important to you. [9]


No no, I understand what you mean but it is better not to do that. This is something teachers correct all the time. I myself would like to be able to use the word 'myself' that way, but people do not think it is proper. Ask your English teacher. :-) English teachers love you correct this kind of use of myself or herself, himself, etc. --- it has to be used as a "reflexive pronoun" or whatever it is called. It can't be used this way... or, it can, but usually it looks like an error. You write very well and do not need to have people think you are making an error.

Ask your English teacher. :-) English teachers love you correct this kind of use of myself or herself, himself, etc. --- it has to be used as a "reflexive pronoun" or whatever it is called. It can't be used this way... or, it can, but usually it looks like an error. You write very well and do not need to have people think you are making an error.

Writing Feedback / The differences and similiraties of PIURA and AREQUIPA -Comparison/Contrast Essay [6]

What do you mean? You are concerned about the last sentence of each paragraph? The topic sentence is the first sentence of each paragraph, and it is most important because if the reader does not learn exactly what the paragraph is about in the first sentence of the paragraph, the whole paragraph can cause misunderstanding and a frustrating reading experience.

You do well by writing "First I am going to talk about..." but you can do better by saying, "My most important observation about Piura is that it is _____________." Give the reader a main idea for each paragraph... something to remember.

:-)

Undergraduate / Common App. - Inspiring person to run for Governor [7]


Yes :-)

This is not where to use a semi-colon... use a colon:
But ever since then, I've worked hard to sound like this fearless: "The Delegation of Ireland has great faith in this body to make conclusive and comprehensive decisions on the current pressing issues."

And I changes "sound like this" because it seemed wrong... a sentence I read does not sound like anything...

Model UN as it is colloquially called, has become the blood in my veins and the passion in my heart. --- this 'blood in my veins and passion in heart' thing is okay, but not great. ---- use a metaphor like this only when you can continue it as a theme. Otherwise it just seems like you groped around for some dramatic sounding words.

See if you agree with me about this...
has been instrumental in shaping my character as I have come to hold ....----- less is more.

:-)

Undergraduate / "Marching band was a savior" - University of Florida Freshman Admission Essay [3]

bloodthirsty --- one word
well-rehearsed ---- needs a hyphen

five-minute --- needs a hyphen

I think this needs to be preceded by a topic sentence: Being a military brat, I began high...
Instead of letting that be the first sentence of the para, it is good to add a topic sentence before it... maybe a sentence that uses the notion of it being a "savior." Introduce the idea of 'savior' here, so that later it will be familiar. Also, by talking in the intro to this paragraph about how band was a savior, it won't be an abrupt change of topic like it was when the sentence began with a mention of being a military brat.

If you work on coming up with another meaningful idea to share, so that this essay takes on a new dimension, you can take out some sentences that are not so important. This one is not so important, but I'll correct it anyway:

I am in no way saying that marching band was the end all be my only important experience in my entire entire high school career.

So... know what I mean? Make a unique observation about the implications of this, and write about it. Try to make every sentence interesting. :-)

It would be good if you added a dimension by connecting band with your chosen career, even if you only have a tentatively chosen career.

Undergraduate / Biomechanical engineering, Uni of Texas Austin transfer/Statement of Purpose [4]


Good use of arbitrary! That must have been a difficult time...


Yep, you are right! We are often told to say "XXX and I" instead of "Me and XXXX..." but that is only at the beginning of a sentence. When "XXX and you" are the object of the sentence instead of the subject, you need to use "me."

This may not be your style, but it is what I would do. Add a sentence right after "something inside me finally changed." Add a thesis statement to the end of that first paragraph. It'll still be powerful when they read that sentence about something inside you changing -- a very good sentence -- but then they will get hit with the thesis statement that tells the main idea for the whole essay. It is like the core of the essay, anchoring it down.

The thesis statement can be "all business" if you want. It can sort of abruptly say something about how the sequence of events that followed sent you in the direction of mechanical engineering, and now you envision yourself XXXXXXXXX (succinctly state your purpose).

:-)

Undergraduate / board member of our high school student government, experiences you have had [4]


I think this expression has been said to come from a few different people, including Socrates... but I have not seen any book that says it is a quote by Aristotle. Please check to make sure you are not mistaken. I think it is better to say Socrates.

Here is a good idea:
I started to develop confidence, and I have improved myself my public speaking ability and learned more about myself through the campaign.

Be careful of this typo:
As a senior, I`m trying
I think there is an extra space between the ' and the "m"

I like the ending! It is a little long, though. Let's divide it into 2 sentences.
As a senior, I'm trying doing my very best to help my fellow schoolmates in every way I can, and those experiences aren't hindrances to give up on my pursuit of what I believed believe is right. Inst ead they have become my inspiration to do what I know is right.

:-)

Matthew and Susen, it's nice that you are participating here. Thanks, Susen, for the great work you contributed.

Writing Feedback / SAT essay:Should schools help students understand moral choices and social issues? [4]

I like to use these " " marks when referring to a word:
The definition of "educate" involves more than just to providing instruction. It is also a place to matter of mental, moral, and (aesthetically ?) artistic development. instruction . Without the helping students understand moral choices abstract ideas and social issues the school is not even...

Also, this word does not need to be pluralized:... so they won't be controlled by the propaganda. Oh, I see that Maria already corrected that. Propaganda is not something you measure in numbers. You can have a little propaganda or a lot, just like you can have a little water or a lot, a little education or a lot. There is no need to add an s.

:-)

Undergraduate / My mom - Most influential person essay [4]

Throughout my life I have had many people that have influenced me, but the most influential person to me out of all of them is my mom. --- you can write this sentence in 1/2 the number of words, so cut it down to size! :-)

My mom has earned this right (not a right, a "rank")because I feel that she is the picture you see (no comma necessary here) when you think of a strong, independent woman. Her strength comes from within, and you can tell when you when you talk to her, not to mention when you hear what she has done.

The way she can take her experiences and apply them to help other shows how she cares. --- this sentence is incomplete! You can revise it to give it a predicate. :-)

Whenever you have a compound sentence, use a comm:
All of these characteristics from my mom have shaped me and made me the person I am today, and that is why I look at my mom as the most influential person in my life.

I bet this will make her feel good about the role she has played as a mother. Congratulate her for me!

Grammar, Usage / "I did it myself" - A question on compound personal pronouns [7]

Here is a good one, in case you did not already stumble accross this
ryerson.ca/studentservices/els/pdf/Proper%20Pronoun%20Usage.pdf

"Empathetic pronoun" ... grammarians are silly.

Undergraduate / This is my escape; SOP UTexas at Austin Radio/TV/Film [12]


Yep, some of the most rigorous writing practice that takes place here occurs when we try to articulate our feedback.

I look forward to your next post! Also, I agree that the hardest part is getting started. You need to wait until the inspiration comes, and then the writing is easy.

Undergraduate / Life isn't always about being on top but it's about how you make it to be on top [11]


Yep, I especially like this part:
I find it hard to succumb to slumber, though the downpour of rain should've alleviated ...

Even when writers make some mistakes, it is very impressive to see real insights, like the insight about "how you make it to the top."

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement, Short Answer: Past 2 Summers [11]

I remember reading 'Wine for Dummies' and being ...---- Don't use ' ' marks. Use3 italics for titles of books and films.

I later enrolled in driving school and successfully earned my license. leading to my receiving a driver's licence. Finally being able to...

The major event during the summer of 2010 was my attachment (how about "discovery of the") University of Nairobi's School of engineering.

... learned the basics of computer aided (manufacturing ?) using computer numeric control machines.

The past two summers were as interesting and beneficial to my development as a person as they were varied in types of involvements.-----hmmmm... I think you can say something more meaningful here.

I believe I was able to gain some transferable skills whiles still being able to enjoying my time, hence achieving equilibrium.

Nice!!! You seem like a deep thinker...

Student Talk / How can I contribute to this awesome website? [40]

Excellent!! Thanks for the suggestions. I'll pass them along. The way we do it now is to show your activity on your profile page and also allow you to become a contributor if you are interested. essayforum.com/ef-contributor-page/


Yes!! That is what we need to do here. Part of the way we learn is to see our mistakes corrected as we communicate in English.

Graduate / "Career vision" vs. "most passionate about" - what is the difference? [10]

Yes, I used to make a joke when talking to people entering college... about a proctologist.
He wanted to BE a physician because of the prestige and the high income, but he ended up specializing in proctology and what did he end up looking at every day.

No offense intended to any proctologists out there. It's just an example.

It's the same with many other professions. I might want to be a soldier or a lawyer because of the way I think of those people... the way they earn my respect with their skill... but it is not what I want to DO every day! So it is important to me to urge students to think of what they want to DO 40 hours or more each week.

Undergraduate / UC prompt1: describe your world and how it shaped your aspirations... [12]

What seemed like days had passed when the computer finally screeched its shrill beep.

or

I felt as though I had been sitting there for a thousand years when the computer finally...
Nice!---> fateful phrase

At age eight, I discovered my passion for programming.--- I think it is about time to end that first para here... before moving on to mention parents, etc.

Since that revolutionary incident, countless people ...

However, it was my friends who most shaped my life dream to help others while pursuing something I love to do.--- this will be a nice transition into a discussion of their influence...

Looking good!

Undergraduate / intellectual challenges - Stanford-intelellectually engaging activity [17]


yep, I see. If you wanted to say they were mutually dependent, I would argue that math was studied long before we had electricity (i.e. in our homes, etc.)

Writing Feedback / Schools should ask students to evaluate their teachers. Do you agree or disagree? [8]

Some people get a chance to learn, but others are unlucky. Whoever gets chance to learn should get proper guidance and a good teacher. The teacher plays an crucial role ...

Hey, wait a minute! You can't say "an crucial"
Only use "an" if the next word starts with a vowel (a,e,i,o,or u).
The teacher plays a crucial...

in students' lives, so the teacher should be ...

well educated, good knowledgeable and having capability to explain and teach capable of explaining and teaching a subject in a way that can be understood.

It is my personnel opinion that students can judge their teachers in useful way. --- good!

The second reason is the teacher's potential for partiality.

Some students are really deserve for it because they are talented and obey the teacher's instruction but some student try to flatter their teacher.

In addition, each student's level of understanding is different, so school ...

Some teachers' teaching techniques are very interesting but some students want more thing from their teachers. As an example my computer teacher taught very well from book but I was expecting more examples for home work which would help me explore my logic.--- very good! I see you improving...

In conclusion, to make successful educated students and to establish students' and teachers' friendly relationship with proper teaching styles, and and in order for teachers to get new...

In many places I had to ad an apostrophe! But here, I have to take the apostrophe away:
teaching idea 's ideas from students while increasing students' level of understanding, schools should ask students to evaluate their teachers.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - the idea of talking about students behaviours. [4]

...has changed together as well.

Human behaviour has been changing, perhaps following several changes that our culture, life and many essentials things, which we need to live, have been changing. ---- don't let the sentences get out of control and long... if too many details make the sentence awkward, get rid of some. Don't bite off more than can be chewed.

Human behaviour has been changing, perhaps because of several changes that took place in our culture pertaining to what we need in order to live. life and many essentials things, which we need to live, have been changing.

It Should decrease some--- don't capitalize unnecessarily.

Here is a tip for you to use: The most important sentences of the essay:

First sentence of first para: this is where the reader decides if she is interested.
Last sentence of first para: this is where the thesis statement usually is, so the reader says,"oh, now i see what the essay is about."

First sentence of each body paragraph: these are topics sentences that show why the thesis statement is true.

Undergraduate / Engineers can turn ideas into reality. [19]


Aha! I like it... very clever...

Here is my idea for your ending:
...get a chance to use a reflux kit. In the process perhaps I will become the next Vladimir Haense. (add one more sentence here to give the reader a glimpse of your future as the next Haenes.)

:-)

Faq, Help / Help to understand one of the rules (You get what you give!) [11]

Hi Jose,

If you make a suggestion for an essay, and I correct you, then we all get to learn a little. Also, maybe someone is trying to learn English and will write a sentence in a way I misunderstand, so you can correct me if you see that I misunderstood.

Please be confident and give your ideas about people's essays. You do not have to make corrections. Just talk with them about the writing, and tell them about the EXPERIENCE that other people get (i.e. the experience you get) from reading their writing.

You are bilingual, and I am not, so you can help people in ways I cannot, especially if they grew up speaking the language you know best.

:-)

Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [416]


Excellent, I look forward to seeing your work and learning from it! We have a lot of great people here to write with you. Kind regards

:-)

Book Reports / The Space Between Us by Thrity Umrigar [2]

I have not read it, but if you have read it this can be something you enjoy.
All you need to do is skim through the book again and ask yourself what insight it gives you about life. What lessons does it teach?

google the title with the word "analysis" or the word "theme" in order to see what other readers have said about it. Then, make your own observations. Just write something that would help your little brother to get the most out of the book...

Remember to start each para with a topic sentence that supports the thesis statement.
Google 'topic sentence' if necessary.

Book Reports / Huckleberry Finn Symbolism Essay [7]


I would rename the method "The Increasing Specificity Method"


All essays need a theme. The essay is something you are supposed to have written because of sheer inspiration -- even though you are actually writing it because of an assignment. Write it as though you have one big idea about the symbols.

Frezard is right, this is SO helpful: sparknotes.com/lit/huckfinn/themes.html
And as for your paragraph writing method, it sounds like you have become too mechanical in your writing due to the way you were taught composition. Free your mind. You are allowed to make your own original observation about the symbolism. You can even look at the symbols from a unique perspective; for example, look at the symbols by considering their implications for a 21st century adolescent.

I was learning about several methods of paragraph development recently. Contrast, Example, Cause-Effect, Definition.
Google around about "paragraph development"

Undergraduate / Congressional Appointment Essay: The Most Serious Issue Facing our Military Today [3]


I don't know if it is correct to say 'exponentially.'

Matt, this is very impressive! You should cite some sources to show where your information comes from. I don't know if this essay prompt requires citations, but really it is necessary and very impressive to cite the sources where the info comes from. Quote somebody who is an authority. As for the content, I think it is very god and persuasive. Thanks for sharing this!

Here is a place you need a comma:
Russia has some of the world's greatest energy reserves, and they are among the world's top energy producers. --- whenever you put 2 sentences together as a compound sentence, use a comma.

Also... it make this a stronger argument, you might want to contrast this issue against other pressing issues to show why it is the MOST serious.

Student Talk / What are the jobs prospects for BA(Economics and social studies) (Hons)? [8]

I'm impressed with Ershad's advice. It really is best to do 2 things, I think:
Keep your options open, follow your bliss, and always choose the path that requires the most discipline for a big payoff.
That is three things, even though I said 2. The part about the discipline is not so important, because really sometimes choosing the path that requires discipline ends up making you do something you do not want to do.

What do you want to DO every day after you graduate... that is the question.
Is it true that you can study economics now and still pursue law in the future? If so, I think that seems like a good idea! Always take the path that keeps the most options open. Don't close any doors on yourself.

Undergraduate / FSU CARE program essay (economic and financial challenges)... [4]

Whenever I think of my parents, I think of the word "opportunity" and, because of them, whenever I think of college I think of opportunity. --- I took out some commas.

The opportunity they gave me.--- this is confusing. It should be like this: With their influence, they gave me an opportunity.

They had to work hard for their money with low income jobs on an island where finding a good job was very hard while raising three kids, but not once did they ever complain about the difficulty of their lives because they were trying their hardest to give us, their kids, the chance to accomplish much more than what they accomplished in life. --- nice sentence!! I just took out one part... "their kids"... the reader knows what you mean without it.

Keep the verb tense consistent:
When my parents filed for us all to move to the United States, the land of opportunity, I knew that I must needed to show them what all of their hard work has amounted to.

Very good!! I'm inspired by you and your family.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL- Saving money helps us meet the costs of our further studies; pivotal role [2]

"Them" is not correct with "money."
Write like this:
I believe that we should save our hard earned money rather than spending it right away.

It is just like the word water or the word food:
I think we should save our water instead of drinking it right away.
I think we should save our food instead of eating it right away.

IT is different from things you can count, like hamsters:
I think we should save our hamsters instead of eating them right away.--- THEM is correct in this sentenc,e because hamsters can be counted. If you are talking about "money" use "it"... but if you are talking about dollars, use "them." Dollars can be counter, buy "money" is both singular and plural. This is a tough rule to learn in English, but you will get it! :-)

Moreover, preserving money can help us deal with the sudden emergencies. ---- good point!

But, if I don't save, I have to lend borrow money from someone and chances are there that I might not find anyone to lend me money, which would make me insecure and worried.

You have very few errors! You will do well on the TOEFL.

Graduate / "being successful in technology" - Graduate SOP for CMU - First Paragraph [6]

You can't say "According to globalization"

You should say "Because of"

Because of globalization, being successful in ...

Strong managerial skills alone could not make one 's business successful. Personally, I believe...

For you, I recommend "Good to Great," by Jim Collins.

Having completed a bachelor's degree program Industrial chemistry and management major, I knew that there were plenty of opportunities for innovative business to grow for the next few decades.

This is not bad, but it will be better if you tell them about a strong intention you have.. a specialized interest or plan for action. Do not just say you need an excellent education, etc., but instead tell them about your specific interests and specific things you want to accomplish.

:-)

Dissertations / Ph.D. research topic in HRM [6]


Yes! This is a good way to begin a very focused research project. When anyone takes 2 important concepts and puts them together, it creates a unique outcome.

HRM + environmental responsibility = a unique dissertation

What is the relationship? HRM is about employee relations. Employees are motivated when they know they work for a responsible organization. Would you like to do some case studies on organizations where environmental responsibility was a theme used by HRM to improve employee relations?

OR you can look for organizations committed to environmental responsibility and interview HRM people to determine their roles, best practices, problems they ran into, etc.

Are you interested in any particular industry?