Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Fast food should be taxed or not? Do you agree or disagree? [3]


While your answer can be viewed as technically correct, it is still an incorrect response format as per TA scoring considerations. You are expected to respond in a particular format for each prompt provided . In this case, you provided an extent or measured response format when a simple response was needed. So, you will get a passing RA score, specially since you provided an acceptable thesis statement with your response, but it will not be a full scoring credit because of the incorrect response format. Try to familiarize yourself with the different response requirements and formats so that you can maximize your scoring boost in the prompt restatement and writer opinion paragraph. Good job though. Your response is worthy of a passing score.

Try to meet the concluding summary requirements as well. Remember, it is 2 sentences comprise of 40 words or more. You won't get a full score for that paragraph without it.

Writing Feedback / countries should produce food for their populations to eat and import as little as possible [2]

It is not important to the reviewer that you explain why people might support the point of view that opposes your own. He does not care why other people would support a certain point of view. What he would like to see is why your opinion should be considered the correct one. What strong reasons do you have for your point of view? These reasons should be explained over 2 paragraphs. Or, you should have explained why the existing point of view, that opposes yours is incorrect. That is why the reviewer is looking for. Since you did not fully support your opinion, he will be forced to score your essay on an under developed explanation consideration which, could lead to a low passing score for you.

Undergraduate / My passion for justice - Personal statement as a law student applying for gks [3]

Your response is not really aligned with the writing prompts and guidelines for U-GKS. Did you download the application packet and read the personal statement requirements? If you did, then you should know that you are not giving the reviewer the information that is required for the written application. He is not really focused on your experience with abuse alone. He needs you to provide a well rounded personal, educational, and social insight. Your presentation is shallow at best. Considering that you have 3 pages to work with here, you should be presenting more informative information. Review the writing guide and compare it to what you have here. Add information and improve paragraphs as needed, based on the information required.

Writing Feedback / It is important for children to learn the difference thing between right and wrong at an early age. [4]

Your prompt restatement is confusing to understand. Your sentence formation is incorrect. It is not proper English to say


. "Thing" is an unnecessary word addition here that made the sentence formation incorrect. You must learn to properly structure simple English sentences to avoid such C+C and GRA lowering errors. Focus on idea presentation. Make sure your explanations will be understood by native English speakers and non native English speakers alike.

This is a 2 reasoning paragraph essay. The third paragraph did not actually add anything to the discussion. The concluding summary is also not very useful in terms of the required reverse paraphrase. I am afraid that this is a failing score essay.

Writing Feedback / advantages and disadvantages of encouraging corporations moving from major cities to regional areas. [2]

You over discussed the essay without actually addressing the discussion topic properly. Therefore, regardless of the content of your essay, you will receive a failing score due to not meeting the discussion requirements, not achieving the task goals in terms of using the correct format for the discussion presentation. You were asked to discuss if the advantages outweighed the disadvantages or vice versa. Instead, you do discussed both opinions in the presentation That is a task inaccuracy. You created a prompt deviation and altered the overall discussion presentation from the original expectations. Therefore, you did not provide the correct writer's opinion, incorrect discussion paragraph focus, and an irrelevant discussion in the process. This is a failing essay.

Writing Feedback / Young people today don't give enough time to help their community. Do you agree or disagree? [2]

Your opening sentence is practically a cut and paste of the original statement. You did not alter it enough to create an original sentence based upin your own understanding. Therefore, your prompt restatement score will be a failing one. Your opinion is missing the thesis statement that would provide the overview basis of your opinion. So that first paragraph is very weak. It might not receive a passing TA score based on the problematic structure and presentation.


You are contradicting your own statement in the first paragraph. Therefore, you will receive a failing score in the TA score. You should be supporting your opinion in both paragraphs. You cannot alter your opinion midstream. That would cause a failing score for the essay. Sad to say, this essay will not pass because of the problems with your supporting reasons.

Writing Feedback / [PART2] In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries [2]

The second paragraph strayed from the comparison discussion. It entered into a government responsibility discussion instead. So you cannot expect to achieve the band score you have in mind. You will be lucky if the essay actually gets a passing band score since you did not stay on focus in the presentation. The public opinion should actually be balanced with your personal opinion. An actual comparison of opinions. It is the more preferred discussion format for this writing prompt. You wrote these all from your personal point of view. So the comparison scoring aspect was weakened. You will get a score for the personal opinion, it won't be as high as if you had used the correct discussion format though.

Writing Feedback / [WRITING TASK 1] The maps below show a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today. [2]

You cannot complete 266 words in 20 minutes. You have written a task 2 essay in this case. You will not have enough time left to finish writing the task 2 essay when you over write the task 1 presentation. Keep it down to 200 words within 20 minutes. You do not need to write long paragraphs. Keep it quick and informative. There is no need to over analyze or over write the content since this is just a summary skills essay presentation. Keep each sentence down to 5 sentences, no more, no less. That way you are sure to meet the word and writing time requirements. Learn to use more descriptive words to achieve your writing goals faster.

Writing Feedback / [Writing Task 2] At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively... [3]

Your first reasoning paragraph is not thoroughly developed. It is not as well explained as your second reasoning paragraph. So you will receive low marks for the first reasoning paragraphs. Always make sure to explain your ideas as clearly as possible since you have a 300 word allowance anyway. When you do not fully explain your ideas, you run the risk of not passing the essay test based upon an under developed essay presentation. Based upon what I read in the first reasoning paragraph, you could have expanded on your explanation a bit more to achieve a clearer explanation and higher score. It should look similar to the 2nd reasoning paragraph.

As for the conclusion, it is another reason that the essay will receive a failing score. For that section, you should always present 2 sentences composed of 20 words each, a total of 40 words for that presentation section. Otherwise, it gets an auto failing score.

Writing Feedback / WRITING PART 1 - PARTICIPATING IN REGULAR ACTIVITIES [2]

Is there a chance that you could write all of this information in a shorter manner during the actual test? You have written 233 words, which is dangerously close to a 40 minute writing task presentation. A 20 minute presentation should only have 200 words in it. So you have to use less words to explain the information in the chart. It is not important to write a long report. It is more important to write a clear and informative report. You are over explaining in this essay, without considering the time requirement, which will pose a problem for you during the actual test. Always use a timed practice test for both task essays to see if you you will meet the time requirement. You have to make sure you will finish the task 1 essay with enough time to completely develop the task 2 essay. Do not over focus the task 1 essay. Give the essays equal attention to detail.

Writing Feedback / Task 2: Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV [2]

An argument is not the same as a belief. The original prompt referred to the belief of some people, you used the word argue in its place when you rewrote it. That is the incorrect synonym to be using in the sentence. You actually changed the discussion focus so you will receive deductions for that in terms of task accuracy. While your opinion is in line with the response expectation, the lack of a short reasoning presentation will affect the score for that paragraph. Your discussion paragraphs are well developed. In fact, these are over developed presentations that you may not be able to finish within the 40 minute time frame during the actual test. Try to keep your explanations short and well connected. You need to use more transitional phrases or words in your paragraphs to create a better scoring chance.

Writing Feedback / THE VIEWS OF GIVING HOMEWORK TO CHILDREN [2]


This is an incomplete prompt restatement. You cannot just say that you will show the 2 views, you must restate the views based upon your understanding of the original topic presentation. You will be scored on your comprehension skills in this paragraph. Your use of the correct alternative words to represent the original discussion will also be considered. Therefore, you cannot use a short cut to represent the discussion focus.


This sentence only works if the viewpoint is given prior to this implication. Otherwise, the reader is confused and lost as to what you are referring to. This confusion will directly affect your GRA score since you are expected to clearly express yourself, without confusing the reader with you explanation presentation.

Writing Feedback / The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instruments [2]

The reporting of the information is accurate. It is well presented and shows that the image was truly analyzed and compared by the writer prior to presenting the information. There is just one small improvement that I would have made, had I written this report. I would have color coded my report based upon the colors representing the instruments. I would have done that as a part of the summary overview. Why would I use the color coding? It would have created a more imaginative information pattern for the reader, who will not have a copy of the report before them. The color coding is an integral part of the report. It would not have been included otherwise.

Writing Feedback / IELT WRITING TASK 2: competition for university [2]


There is no reference to opinions being divided in the original discussion topic presentation. You cannot use that as a reference point for your restatement. It creates an inaccurate representation of the original and will make your statement unacceptable to the examiner who will lower your TA score because of the incorrect reference.


You may use this comparison phrase only when the previous paragraph starts with "One the one hand". It is not possible to compare one hand to another when the first hand does not exist in the discussion.

The discussion paragraphs are incorrectly presented. You are to present 2 reasoning discussions that will allow you to support your original opinion, as presented in the writer's opinion section. When you present an essay that uses a comparison reference where it is not needed, only the paragraph that supports your opinion will receive a score. The essay will not get a passing score because the discussion format is incorrect and, the word count no longer meets the minimum word requirement.

Writing Feedback / Team activities can teach more skills for life than those activities which are played alone. [2]


You should be clearer when referencing this term. It would have been better to use the term "despite" rather than "in spite".


You are trying to convince the examiner of your opinion. Use more words that would appeal to his sense of understanding. Some measured emotional responses would have worked best. Terms such as "crucial factor" or "key factor" would have helped show a wider vocabulary on your part and also improved your scores across the LR, C+C and GRA sections.

The discussion presented is concise, too concise in fact. It has a limited scoring ability at less than 275 words, which is the more score increasing number of words for this type of essay.

Writing Feedback / The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies [2]

Unfortunately, your essay does not meet the minimum word requirement. So you will not manage to get a passing score for this essay. The word percentage deductions that will be applied to the preliminary TA score will be difficult to overcome. Essays that do not meet the minimum requirement often end up failing because the word deductions, when added to the accumulated deductions for other scoring sections always results in a failing overall score. The main problem that led to this situation was the concluding paragraph. It did not meet the 2 sentence, 40 word requirement for a passing concluding summary paragraph. Had you extended that paragraph to include a proper reverse paraphrase, you actually had a chance of receiving a passing score.

Writing Feedback / Task 1 Cam 10 Test 1 picture in the book or internet [2]

The summary overview should be composed of at least 2 sentences, covering at least 40 words. Your presentation does not appropriately summarize the given information. The trending statement is difficult to understand even after several readings. There is a problem with the sentence structure. The idea you are presenting is not clear, even in ESL terms. This lack of clarity will definitely affect your TA, C+C, and GRA scores in the preliminary scoring stage. Those sections will receive failing scores. Kindly reference the spelling of the country properly as well. All countries are spelled with a capital letter. Also, there is no word such as consumotion in the English vocabulary. It is important that you improve your English vocabulary skills if you wish to pass this test.

Writing Feedback / Ielts 2 - Traveling to other places - Agree/Disagree [2]

There are 2 reasons that this essay will receive a failing score. The first is in relation to the word count. The second reason, is due to your inability to follow discussion instructions. This is not going to come anywhere close to a passing score.

The minimum word count is 250. You wrote about 168 words only. So once the percentage deduction points for the lacking words are applied, you will receive a non passing preliminary TA score. The essay will start with a failing score that it will need to overcome in the discussion paragraphs. However, since you did not follow the discussion instructions for the measured response essay, you will not receive a passing TA score for the actual test either. Therefore, you will receive a failing score for this writing.

Writing Feedback / TASK 2: Government regulation in competition [2]

Do not over discuss your presentations. Keep in mind that there is a 40 minute writing limit for the task 2 essay. You will face a failing score based upon an open ended essay if you write an essay this long during the actual test. You should focus on conciseness and explanation clarity in your presentation. Do not focus on word count. A long essay has never resulted in a passing score. Rather, it opens your essay to avoidable errors. These avoidable errors become present when you do not have enough time to proof read your paper prior to submission.


Incorrect vocabulary usage. You are not really focusing on the quality of your writing. This incorrect reference usage will definitely result in a lower than expected LR and GRA score. You failed to use a more applicable reference word.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 ( TOPIC CRIME ) [2]

Oops! You made a mistake in your writer's opinion presentation. Let's compare the original question with your response:

OQ: Do you agree or disagree?
Response: Although I agree this could not be considered the best way to solve the problem of crime, I think the citizens could reap certain benefits from it.

Do you see the problem in your response? You are being asked if you agree or disagree. You said you agree, but then, rather than explaining why you agree, you suddenly reversed your opinion by indicating an unrelated discussion topic. This writing deviation will result in an incorrect task response and as such, receive a failing score for the preliminary TA consideration.

By using an incorrect discussion format, a comparison format where a single opinion discussion was required, you have created an incorrect essay response and as such, will receive a score based upon an unrelated discussion presentation.

Writing Feedback / Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks? [2]

I cannot say if you did a good job with writing a response to the prompt without reading the full essay. You wrote a conclusion that does not really help me understand what the previous reasoning paragraphs were about. The conclusion has spelling errors that should have been corrected. The idea you are presenting could have been better developed in terms of a concluding summary. Maybe your discussion paragraphs are correct, maybe not. Please upload the complete essay next time so you can receive an accurate and useful review of your work from me. It is impossible for me to do so at this points. I cannot asses your work based on this work.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay about the necessary of recycling laws [2]

The writer's opinion is an integral part of the preliminary task scoring requirement. Therefore, it is imperative that you place you measured response at the end of the topic restatement requirement. Once you combine the restated topic, your opinion, and the reasons for your opinion in short form, you will have achieved the correct response format for the opening paragraph.

There is no need to use quotation marks in this presentation. It is already understood that you are speaking from a personal point of view so the use of quotation marks is unnecessary at this point. Simply answer the question directly in the reasoning paragraphs.

Your summary conclusion became incorrect, leaving the essay open ended because you gave your personal opinion in that section, where you no longer have any space to explain your supporting reasons. The last paragraph is just a summary of the previous topic, opinion, and discussion points. I am afraid that although your essay is well worded, it may not receive a passing score due to the incorrect response format.

Writing Feedback / The graph shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017 [2]

The report is too long and repetitive. You are over stretching the report in an effort to use as much English vocabulary as you can. Unfortunately, the over use of English words resulted in an opposite effect. The writing became confusing and difficult to understand. You may think that you did a good job of explaining the information but in reality, the report is weak due to the constant use of words of uncertainty. The presentation is over 240 words, meaning that you are going to be writing this report for more than 20 minutes during the actual test, leaving very little room for you to complete the task 2 essay. Try to stick to a 200 word presentation for the task 1 essay. This is just a reporting essay. You can prove your vocabulary in the task 2 essay if needed.

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 about focusing on endangered animal or human problems [3]


You just lost task accuracy writing points. There is no score that can be provided for restating the opinion writing instructions. You will however, receive a score for providing your clear opinion in this section. Either state support for one of the 2 opinions or, state a unique opinion that you will be explaining in the reasoning paragraphs. Your preliminary task score based on this paragraph will not be complete. You will receive reduced points due to the incomplete response presentation.


The essay will receive a failing score at this point. You cannot state your personal opinion in the concluding paragraph. It should either be combined into the 2 public opinion discussion paragraphs or as a stand alone sentence prior to the concluding paragraph. The essay is missing a summary conclusion at this point. It is will be considered open ended and receive a failing score instead.

Writing Feedback / unpaid work - compulsory or not [3]

The writers opinion is clear in the first paragraph. However, you present a contradicting discussion in the reasoning paragraphs. Since this is a single opinion discussion, you are required to present 2 supporting statements for your opinion. By using the comparison discussion format, you have failed to support your opinion. As such, your final score will be based on an under developed discussion presentation, which may be a failing score depending upon what sort of score you will receive for the remaining scoring sections. Your concluding summary is acceptable and meets the concluding summary requirements. It is the reasoning paragraphs that prevented you from achieving a passing score. Always remember that unless specified as a comparison essay, all task 2 essays are single opinion presentations.

Writing Feedback / Many city dwellers these days don't get enough physical exercise. Write causes and solutions [2]


This does not have the same meaning as physical activities or physical exercise. You must improve your English vocabulary, specially in the synonym usage aspect.


Points will be deducted for the non-existence of your writer's opinion. You will not receive points for the writer's opinion section because you did not provide any cause and solution presentation as a part of the thesis statement of this paragraph. Without the thesis statement, there is no writer's opinion.

The causes were well developed in the presentation. Using a reference to adult and children exercise problems was a nice touch. However, the solutions presentation feels rushed and under developed. It would have been better for your score if you had a specific adult and children solution presented also. That way the cohesiveness of the discussion paragraphs would have been maintained and the C+C and GRA scores would have been increased.

Writing Feedback / Children by age group as a percentage of the young population in the UK between 1990 and 2001. [2]

There is a minimum 2 sentence requirement for the summary overview. You wrote a run-on sentence instead. Unfortunately, the run - on sentence is quite confusing to read and follow because of the lack of proper sentence idea focus. You combined 2 ideas in one sentence, creating an incoherent paragraph for the reader. Next time, think about sentence clarity. Use the basic rule, one idea per sentence. That way you better explain the meaning of your presentation. This is a writing problem that you repeated in the final paragraph of this presentation section. So even though your effort to report on everything in the line graph can be seen, it is the lack of information clarity in the presentation that will hinder the essay from receiving a better score.

Writing Feedback / BODY TASK 1 the salary of Anthropology [2]

With only 136 words written, this task 1 essay will automatically get a failing score. You have to write at least 150 words so that word count deductions will not apply to your preliminary score. It is difficult to overcome a failing score in the preliminary scoring stage because more deductions will be applied to your writing based on scoring sections after that. The essay does not properly follow the 3 paragraph presentation for the task 1 essay. Only one out of the 2 images was properly identified in this presentation. The analysis of the information is weak. The presentation could have used more information development. This is a problem that developed because of the writer's rush to finish writing the task, without knowing that there is a minimum word count requirement that directly connects with the coherence and cohesiveness of his presentation. Kindly familiarize yourself with the task 1 writing format when you can to avoid the same errors happening in the future.

Writing Feedback / Online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do u think it's a positive or negative development? [2]

I am not sure if you can actually write this essay using the same number of words during the actual test. Yes, you have 40 minutes to write this essay but, you will not have a timer in front of you. The essay writing portion has a total of 60 minutes provided for the task. From that 60 minutes, you will have to mentally time yourself to write the task 1 essay within 20 minutes, and the task 2 essay within the remaining 40 minutes. Aim to write 300 words only as much as possible so that you will never go overtime with the task 2 essay. That is equivalent to 5 sentences per paragraph. This essay was actually over written because you wrote 3 reasoning paragraphs where the standard presentation is only 2 reasoning paragraphs. The third reasoning paragraph was an unnecessary addition to the presentation.

Writing Feedback / Living in big cities is bad for people's health [2]

The main problem that this essay will encounter in the preliminary scoring consideration is the lack of clarity in the writer's opinion. This is an extent essay that is based on a single opinion support system. The writer wrote in support of both public views in the first paragraph. That means he does not have a true opinion with regards to the topic. He has proven that he did not understand the writing instructions, which led to him providing an irrelevant and incorrect task response. The first paragraph will receive a failing score in terms of preliminary scoring and therefore, will ensure that the essay will get a failing final score, regardless of how well he discussed his incorrect opinion in the reasoning paragraphs.

Writing Feedback / in many cities, people these days know little about their neighbors and lack a sense of community. [2]

The essay is simply too long for a 40 minute writing task. You need to learn to write in a concise and coherent manner. This sort of writing will not be achievable during the actual test, under time pressure. You are lengthening your discussions for no reason. Your over extended discussion forced you to create what is an empty essay that is only full of words, but without actual sense or benefit to the reader. Your opening statement alone was incorrectly formatted and devoid of a properly developed writer's opinion. Do not believe people who are telling you that you just have to write a long essay, using as many English words as possible, to pass the test. That is the most assured way of failing the test.

Writing Feedback / IELTS QUESTION: Are GMOs as a viable solution to feed the increasing population? [2]


Complete the statement. What are the 2 downsides you are most concerned about? Create an accurate thesis statement to gain the most points in this paragraph. it has a good start, don't leave it half written.


Do not make exaggerated claims. Remember that there will always be opposition to your opinion so tone it down. You do not need to be so emotional with your explanations.

The concluding paragraph needs more work. You should bear in mind that the first and last paragraphs have specific formatting expectations that can either increase or decrease your final score. Use at least 2 sentences in the final paragraph. Make sure that you restate the topic, your opinion, and your reasons before concluding the essay. Based on the information requirements, you can easily write 3 sentences and go beyond the 40 word expectation for that section of the essay. You will score better that way.

Writing Feedback / towns constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable for residents.problem and solution [2]


Decades does not properly reflect a synonym for centuries. Centuries equivalent words that you could have used are centenary or centennial. Decades only covers 10 years. A century covers 100 years or more. It is counted in the hundreds.


There is no need for an apostrophe here. The +S already indicates plural meaning. You are not trying to signify ownership in this case so the apostrophe is misplaced in this presentation.


Wrong answer. You failed to provide a proper writer's opinion through the presentation of a coherent and cohesive thesis statement. You will not receive a score for this empty sentence. Always respond to the question provided because the thesis statement is a requirement for these essays.

Letters / A short motivation letter for studying mathematics - 400 to 500 words, but involves change of fields [2]

This letter is very weak. It is not the kind of motivational letter that would catch the attention of the admissions officer. You have to understand, they are looking for specific qualifications in their incoming students. I believe that you are applying for a masters course right? Your original course is not too far in relation to the course that you wish to take. However, your motivation is theoretical rather than professional, which makes it difficult for the reviewer to consider you a serious student. It is admirable that you want to continue learning, but you are not clear about how you are motivated to apply this to your workplace. You need to include a reference to that in your letter.

Writing Feedback / some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in [2]

The essay is short of the minimum requirement by 2 words. That is too bad. You will still receive deductions for the missing 2 words. Had you place just a little more effort into the writing of the essay, you would have avoided the minimal point deductions. The examiner will have to apply the deductions because you did not meet the word requirement for the task.


Lager is beer, that is not to be confused with "larger" which indicates the expanse of an area. You need to review your vocabulary. Make sure that such errors do not happen again. When you are uncertain of the word meaning, try to use another equivalent or say the idea in a different way. You will receive LR point deductions for this mistake.


I have no idea what you are trying to say here. Expect that the examiner will deduct more points from your LR, C+C, and GRA scores.

Writing Feedback / youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are 18. Agree or disagree [2]


I know this is a task 2 writing essay. Why are you shouting about it? You should temper your writing excitement. There is need to over emphasize. You have my attention. I will advise you since you placed the prompt in the title. You may get a warning for not coming up with a creative title for your essay but at least it helped me find out what you should write about. Expect a warning from the admin about that violation though.


You need to use the +D form for this word since you are writing using a past participle in this case.


You are only being asked to agree or disagree. You do not need to use an emotional, measured response. Your TA score will be reduced because you have not responded in the expected format.

Writing Feedback / The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008. [2]

The summary overview is not very effective seeing as it is a run-on sentence. This should be divided into at least 3 sentences that represent:
1. The number of images;
2. The inclusive countries;
3. The measurement method;
4. The trending sentence.

Quick question, where did the years reference come from? I do not see any reference to that in the image provided. Where did it come from?


Indicate the other 2 country names since you indicated the first 2 countries in the previous presentation.

Work on your formatting for the task 1 essay. This should be presented over 3 paragraphs, properly spaced apart on the page. You have to be clear about the paragraph separation because each paragraph focuses on a specific discussion. Without it, the essay is difficult to follow.

Writing Feedback / people should be able to keep all the money they earn and not pay tax to the state. agree or not [2]

Please avoid exaggerating the representation of the original discussion. The excessive negative presentation will result in a prompt deviation that will affect the preliminary task accuracy score. While the prompt restatement has problems. The writer's opinion and thesis statement is well developed and should help lessen the lowered scoring effect of the incorrect prompt restatement.

The discussion paragraphs can be shortened. You do not need to over explain things. Just keep it simple. 5 sentences with properly used transition words will be sufficient for the explanation. Keep the sentences short to avoid GRA deductions. The longer your paragraphs, the more error prone those will be. It is best to keep is simple but informative. Remember the LR and GRA scores should be balanced. You will still lower your score if your GRA score is less because of incorrect LR usage.

Undergraduate / Personal Statement for Common App Essay about Cultural Identity [2]

This is a very engaging essay that clearly shows your cultural background and what it means to your youth. The way that you describe the dance party is vivid and engaging. It is not just a description, but a reminiscing of your time as an active participant of the event. It allows the reviewer to enter your world and understand how this activity helped to create your world view, how you came to understand the importance of character evolution and adulthood through your waned interest in the event. This is actually an insightful look into how you became the person you are today. It is well developed and informative as a written interview. You have done a good job in terms of responding to the prompt.

Writing Feedback / All children should be made to wear school uniforms. To what extent do you agree or disagree? [2]


The word force is too strong for this discussion. You should be using positive words instead of negative references in the discussion. Encourage open and friendly discourse by saying "encourage" rather than "option to force",

The reasoning paragraphs can be seen as acceptable. However, there was a problem with the concluding summary because you introduced new reasons in that section that would have required some additional discussion paragraphs. The concluding paragraph should only be used as a summary of the previous topic, discussion points, and closing statement. It should never contain new information for discussing as that would create an open ended essay seeing as how the new topics were not fully developed for the discussion presentation.

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