vangiespen
Nov 9, 2014
Scholarship / My financial situation. Sometimes I need to send some money to support my parents. [3]
Wenwen, constantly complaining about your financial woes in your scholarship essay is not the way to win a scholarship. You say nothing in your scholarship about your academic achievements (if any) or any future plans for your self improvement. Rather, you spend the whole essay bemoaning your financial situation. You are married to a marine who is in debt. You sometimes send money to support your parents in China, guess what, those are not valid reasons to win a scholarship. You work for minimum wage or less than minimum wage and get treated badly. You mention that your job as a cook is too toilsome. You complain too much in your essay and never say anything about your work ethic. You want to win a scholarship? Prove that you are a hard worker who will stop at nothing to gain a college degree. The scholarship members do not care about your work experience and how much you get paid or how you are treated. They do not care if you find the work hard to do. . What matters to them is if you meet the qualifications they have set up for a scholar under their foundation. You need to present academic and socio-civic accomplishments that will make them think that you are a bright person with a potential for a good future who just needs a break academically. Remember, you are competing against other potential scholars with a thousand times more credentials than you. This is a useless scholarship essay. It does nothing to help your case. You should rethink the content of the essay and write a new one that is more aligned with the scholarship requirements. You definitely cannot and should not use your current essay. It does nothing to help your case.
Wenwen, constantly complaining about your financial woes in your scholarship essay is not the way to win a scholarship. You say nothing in your scholarship about your academic achievements (if any) or any future plans for your self improvement. Rather, you spend the whole essay bemoaning your financial situation. You are married to a marine who is in debt. You sometimes send money to support your parents in China, guess what, those are not valid reasons to win a scholarship. You work for minimum wage or less than minimum wage and get treated badly. You mention that your job as a cook is too toilsome. You complain too much in your essay and never say anything about your work ethic. You want to win a scholarship? Prove that you are a hard worker who will stop at nothing to gain a college degree. The scholarship members do not care about your work experience and how much you get paid or how you are treated. They do not care if you find the work hard to do. . What matters to them is if you meet the qualifications they have set up for a scholar under their foundation. You need to present academic and socio-civic accomplishments that will make them think that you are a bright person with a potential for a good future who just needs a break academically. Remember, you are competing against other potential scholars with a thousand times more credentials than you. This is a useless scholarship essay. It does nothing to help your case. You should rethink the content of the essay and write a new one that is more aligned with the scholarship requirements. You definitely cannot and should not use your current essay. It does nothing to help your case.