Undergraduate / 'planning to transfer to Middlebury (international student)' -common app transfer [7]

She drags her right hand, slowly but elegantly, holding a dot pen between her thumb and her index finger, with her other fingers weakly pointing to different directions. When she manages to write down four letters of her name, she puts down her pen, and gives away a long and heavy breath. I insist her to finish it. With an animated reluctance, she picks up her pen and intricately writes the last two letters. She looks at the squiggly word, and then beams. My mom can finally write her name, plus her last name, both in English and in Nepali. This is the proudest moment of my life, as a daughter and more importantly, as a woman. This single picture, which one might think as of a picayune importance, is indubitably the most accurate depiction of the insurmountable lives that Nepali women have endured since the birth of my country. Watching my mom glow in sheer delight makes me realize one thing; I need to transfer. I need to keep learning so that I can help other women and girls like my mom who have been deprived of their right to learn and live.

For decades, Nepali women have been the innocent victims of the sanctimonious party that has been run by lofty men who are sometimes, very sadly, accompanied by despondent women. The discrepancy between the genders, which has been one of the many disastrous consequences of the religious beliefs, provides me with all the motivation I need to keep pursuing my dream to empower women. This world, basically, is the paragon of what human beings stand for. To study the perpetual civilization of the societies around the world does not only provide us with the knowledge of what we were and who we are but also, what we can be. Therefore, by studying the subjects of Sociology, I intend to employ what I attain about the societies' mechanisms to create better ways to help the social milieu, especially in the third world countries. But this is not the only great component of this major. Not only do I get to continue exploring what has always enthralled me, I believe Sociology is also the perfect social science that will bolster my capabilities when I pursue my education further in Human Rights Studies.

When I was about twelve years old, I had witnessed a horrendous event. A haggard looking young girl, whom everybody had thought possessed, was being flogged by hot spatula, dragged around the merciless cementer floor by the Shaman. She had collapsed earlier and had been trembling violently. I knew she had seizure but I didn't tell anyone. I was mortified. While everyone was vehemently cheering for the shaman, I was pondering the reaction of the society to that abhorrent crime and thought it was ominous. But no one seemed to realize it. This was one of the major events that strengthen my fixation of examining the people around me. From very early on, I knew that there was an ongoing cycle of Hindu religion, social classes, Poverty, lack of education and superstition, which had distressing effects on women. This piqued me and so did societies in other parts of the world with their own dangerous cycles where women are sacrificed by their baneful communities. I understand that by studying these aspects with other important factors of the society, I will be able to comprehend the world at present more objectively. Taking a break from school was the wisest decision I have ever made for it gave me an opportunity to validate what I had already known. Now, I want to transfer because I want to be one step closer to my dream. I dream that there would never be a day when an innocent girl is beaten inhumanely because people's morale have been faltered due to lack of education and if such crime does keep happening, then I dream that this time I will be there to help her.

Undergraduate / 'to be a part of this exhilarating project' - Short answer transfer essay [7]

I am exhausted. I feel numerous drops of sweat traveling throughout my body, teasing and tickling me. I look around. I see other people sweating equally. Some are hammering their thumb instead of the nail, a couple clumsily doing it more than once, some frightened to climb up the roof to put the shingles, others horrified to come down. Suddenly, I hear everybody violently belching out to Tim McGraw, unfortunately, not in unison, and then arrives a roar of laughter. As a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, I realize, this is what I yearn for each year; this wonderful allegory of camaraderie. There is not a single hint of picayune problem lurking over anyone's face. I observe the haggard looking yet incredibly jaunty students conscientiously working to build homes for families they have never met. Restoration of compassion and hope takes over, humbling me and everyone else. As I decide to be a part of this exhilarating project for a long time, I smile and keep on toiling away happily.

Undergraduate / "How the hell do i do it" Transfer essay to Smith [12]

Hello readers. I would love to thank you in advance for taking your time to read this. This is my first attempt at my transfer essay to Smith and Mt. Holyoke. Any type of feedbacks are warmly welcomed. I got rejected by a school i really loved recently so please be very strict with the comments so that i can make a solid essay. :) Also i tried to be very honest in the essay. Let me know.

"How the hell do I do it?" "Take it one day at a time?"

I was talking to this puny sized yet ridiculously warm looking lady on an almost empty bus to Ocean beach. She was probably in her late 50s. I was in a less than good mood and to my greatest fear, she started talking to me. After the usual introductions, with a sweet nonchalance, she asked me what I was studying, to which I hesitantly answered, "Ahhh...nothing in particular". Quickly, she then asked me what I wanted to do with my life, to which I replied, "Iiiahhhh...don't know." She raised her head and her eyebrows slightly, in unison. I noticed it. My lips, hurriedly, hibernated inside my mouth, something that happens when I try to smile but fail miserably. And now she noticed it. With a dramatic flair in her voice, the lady said, "You will know when the time is right." And after, what I thought was an awkward silence, she added, "Take it one day at a time."

This piqued me. Not because I had heard it for the first time. God knows how many times I have heard people flaunting clichés whenever I poured away my frustrations over not being able to discover what my vocation was, while everyone else jauntily paraded around me, knowing all the details of their future plans. This particular overrated advice holds a special place in my memory because for the first time, I actually listened to it. For the first time, I confronted myself, someone who was not me. For the first time, I chose to dwell on what I had chosen to ignore before. That day, I was on my way to the beach, determined to lament about my long lost passion but by the time I got there, things had changed. I was even more determined to retrieve it: I decided to take a break.

When the highs of my liberating decisions had diminished, I found myself stupefied, back to square one. I couldn't believe what I was doing. Sitting at the airport like a zombie, stealthily staring at the passersby, I wondered what I would do when I get back home, without a degree, without a plan. But this time, I decided to let it all go. As soon as I got back home, I caught up with life. I continued doing what I passionately believed was worth doing: I started teaching. I taught English language classes and helped my cousin with her Praudh Siksha class for women, an experience that validated what I had already known.

One day when I was having one of my utterly pointless but painfully hilarious conversations with my family, I fixed my attention on my mom. She was smiling, holding a dot pen weakly in her right hand, between her thumb and her index finger. She was elegantly dragging her hand on a piece of paper. After a couple of minutes, she beamed. She demanded everyone's attention and held her page as a matador holds his cape. Then, in a feigned whiff of grandeur, my mother announced that she could now write her full name in both Nepali and in English. Right there and then, I knew what I had to do, or at least where to start from.

I, along with my family, have moved in and out of seven homes and currently residing on our eighth house. But with my college years in Dallas and San Francisco, I win over my family with two more points. Among all this ballyhoo, there has always been one substantial want that has been loyally consistent: my fixation on the society and its milieu. I have witnessed women, in Nepal, beaten down severely, simply for supernatural beliefs. I have watched lofty group of Christians, in Dallas, look down upon others who have different faiths. And I have been blown away by San Francisco's sense of freedom. All these have done nothing but stabilized my desire to explore more societies that the world has to offer, especially the ones in developing countries. And I hope to achieve that by taking on Sociology as my subject of interest. I know that I want to continue dedicating my life towards the betterment of women, like my mom, who have been deprived of the right to learn, and more importantly, to live. If you ask me what I am going to do in the future, I will confidently give you a stern "I don't know." answer. But I will also tell you this. I might not know what I want out of the future but what I do know is what I want out from my present. I am going to toil today, live today and do it all over again tomorrow. I have taken the lady's, now not so silly, advice and decided to take everything one day at a time.

Undergraduate / 'Flushed' + 'I am exhausted' - Extra Curricular activities essays [14]

First one:
"Can I shit?" With a calm aura but flushed up red cheeks, I smiled and muttered, "Ya, sure." After a hustle and bustle of bag packs unpacking in the room, I looked up at my student and said, "Next time, say, can I siiiit, okay?" After a puzzled look from everyone, I continued, "Well, shit means..uhm...something else" and yes, went on to explain further. As an English instructor whose class consists of students from jaunty high school graduates to shy housewives, from modest ex-soldiers to upbeat media students, this incident is just another fun memory. I love my job. Not only because of my passion for teaching and the language itself, but also for the vital role I get to play in my students' transition to the new world, a place where speaking English has become a ticket to liberation, thanks to globalization. The camaraderie I experience among the students trying to decipher English language is very valuable to me and something I feel lucky to have witnessed.

Second one:
I am exhausted. I feel numerous drops of sweat traveling throughout my body, teasing and tickling me. I look around. I see other people sweating equally, some hammering their thumb instead of the nail, couple clumsily doing it more than once, some frightened to climb up the roof, some horrified to come down. All of a sudden, I hear everybody violently belching out to Tim McGraw, unfortunately, not in unison, and then arrives a roar of laughter. As a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, I realize, this is what I yearn for; this wonderfully placid allegory of camaraderie. There is not a single hint of picayune problems lurking over anyone's face. I observe the haggard looking yet jaunty students conscientiously working to build a home for families they've never met. Restoration of compassion and hope takes over, humbling me and everyone else present. I realize I am determined be a part of this exhilarating project for a long time so I smile and keep on toiling away happily.

Ps. I had actually submitted the second one when i applied to a school couple of months ago. Now i am applying to Smith, so i was wondering if i should submit the first one, which i wrote about an hour ago or the old one. Let me know. Constructive , not so constructive , all feedbacks are welcomed. Thank you, as always, in advance.