Undergraduate / 'You just got an AB!' - Stanford Letter to a roommate [4]

Hi , I know it is close to the deadline , however I have just finish my supplements for Stanford . Can you guys take a look at it ?

It is a bit over character limits so it would be pleased if someone can point out for me something to cut off .
thanks guys :D
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Hi , You just got an AB !!
Dear buddy , how unexpectedly you got such a roommate . Not any ordinary roommate with controversial blood type , my dear friend , you have just befriended with an AB type .

Did you know that AB type , is one of the most rare type on this whole giant blue planet ? Did you know that the probability for a people to be an AB type is only 7% in the US ? Did you know that I did not come from the US , and therefore to find an AB type in the whole world you have to meet the lonely 5% population of the world ? And did you recognize that an AB type can be bluntly informative ? And in case if you are an AB type too , it would be extremely fortuitous that we are 5% of each country , and end up in the same room in one of the most selective university in this world , which is against all odds ? However , in case you are not , I am pleased that you are still reading , and patient is definitely a trait that will help us getting along the next 4 years .

Have you ever doubt that is it true that our blood can actually affect our personalities ?
I hope you do not . In every cases, if you do some simple Google search , ( as you should be doing right now ) , you can find out that the AB types are the worst types available . In brief , Ab types are critical, indecisive, forgetful, irresponsible, "split personality"... and the list goes on until you can imagine a comic book villain . It is true that sometimes I can be a bit harsh in judging people , and over-reacted in your daily habits . It is also true that sometimes I can forget doing the dishes , and then forget to admit whether I have done the dishes or not . It is true that the Comic Villain Two-face is an AB type , and Japanese anime describe AB types as evil betrayal . But , still , there are sides of me that if you dig in a little deeper , you might find it interesting . Whereas I can be critical , I always hope the best for your benefits . While I can be forgetful at chores , I will always remember your birthday , and do not be surprise if one day our room is filled with surprised gifts . Despite the fact that AB type is anomaly rare , it was the blood type of 2 wonderful people , Marilyn Monroe and JFK .

I am not the type of roommate you would hope for in the first day of college, but if people always get what they wanted , what is the purpose of getting out of bed in every morning ?

I am wondering if you should get the lottery today , cause the chance of winning a 10$ prize is surprisingly approximately 5% .

Undergraduate / 'how much beneficial riding a bike can be' - Common app essay [3]

Hi everyone , this is the main essay in my commonapp .
Please be brutal and edit any redundant ideas , since the essay is already 700 words long .
I would appreciate any help ,
Thanks
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Over and over again, I have been reminded of how much beneficial riding a bike can be. It is the third most physical important skill in one's childhood, giving significant improvements in sense of balance, boosting morale quality, and after all a wonderful exercise. In the setting of such thriving developing country like Viet Nam, where streets are overwhelming with motorbikes, and buses never arrive on time, bike riding disability is believed to a huge drawback. Though most of kids in Viet Nam mature their deft skills in bike riding when they are 8, I am the sole exception.

It took me 10 years from my first attempt to make friend with a bike to my second try, and both of them ended up with the tricycle. If you do not know any bikes, there is probably no chance at all to acquire intimacy with a motorbike, the national transportation in my country, so all you can get after a long tiring school day is a bus with people packed like salmons. However, the fatiguing procedure of traveling without a bike is still not as devastating as the flaw itself. It is a tremendous scar which marks immaturity, dependency, and bizarreness that separates one from the ordinary people. There were times when I wished that it was really a physical scar that can be covered with layers of clothes, so I can easily blended in with normal kids.

Yet the shortfall itself was not severe, so I developed my own mechanism to avoid it. I find my moments of relief in fleeting times, in my activities with friends and family. But avoidance is not the answer. That awkward feeling came back posses me in social occasion, in the surprised eyes of elders, or the subtle smile of the youngsters. It was no mystical second of epiphany that pulled me out the black hole of isolation. Instead, it was a gradual process that invoked by an acquaintance.

To be specific, it was bluntly the time when I got asked by a friend to be his tutor on the upcoming Math exams. We were both in the Computer Science class, so with great grades in science-related class, I, and most people would assume that we would do remarkably in Math. However, he did not. He had rough experiences with Math, and Calculus was the most terrifying entity he had ever seen. I had never looked down on him, or even indulged the thought of he should be ashamed since most of the class did well in Math, but I could not help but notice that nervous look in his eyes. He was timid when he tried to whisper in unexpectedly low voice, as if he afraid the world would hear that he need help with his Mathematics. Anyhow, that look resembled a familiar image carved in my mind. It was my appearance when I tried to explain why cannot I ride a bike, or redundantly convince that bike riding disability is not a big thing. Started from then, I spotted that expression over and over again from my surroundings. It was the look of my mother when she confessed she does not know how to make ice cream. It was there in the voice of my father when he tried to sign up a Facebook account. It was showed in my teacher when tried her best to at least make the anthem sounds right. Who would have known ?

After a while, I realized how dull I was. I am so much more than my apparent short-fall. I was limited myself to a bleak vision where everyone would disregard me for my obvious imperfection. Only then I finally break myself from such an imaginative cage. I sense a state of confident of who I am, also courage to expose myself to my world and the people in it . True, it would be weird for an urban kid in Ho Chi Minh City lacks the skill to ride the bike. Still, there is no mere mean can prevent him from achieve thousand other astonishing skills set.

Undergraduate / 'The School Radio' - Extracurricular activities [6]

I am sorry but it is so close to the deadline. Please help me spot any mistakes or redundant ideas.
I will try to help you guys with yours
Thank you
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The School Radio was the place where I evolved and acquired many valuable lessons. Initially I signed up to become a broadcaster in which I only expected to sharpen my public speaking skills. However, the actual work was more than what meets the eye. To communicate with listeners with different perspective, the broadcaster needs to edit his words prudently. My first broadcast was finally on air after 2 weeks of consecutive editing, eventually, it went smoothly with every prepared. I realized that if preparations are strengthened with the power of improvisation, efficiency of the work can be heightened significantly. After 1 year of participation, I was selected to be the Vice President of The School Radio. This position showed me the impact I can have on the lives of others, and helped nurture in me a sense of social responsibility. I treasured my memories at the School Radio. The Radio indulged in me sense of confidence, and encouraged me to extend my abilities to greater boundaries.

Undergraduate / 'The Chinese culture and Vietnamese Literature' - Stanford intellectual essay [NEW]

Please skim through and give me your comments, and check the grammatical errors please
I will return the favor
Thank you
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After thousand years, Vietnamese Literature has developed various mechanism and literary forms that distinguished from those of other cultures. One typical example is its unique idioms, which are drawn from wise experiences of the elders.

On my first days in high school, I was overwhelmed by an old but yet puzzling subject: Civics Education. Though it was supposed to be an easy subject about civil rights and duties, Civics bombarded us freshman with various hypothesis of historical philosophers: from the ancient Plato to the modern Karl Marx. For a 16 year-old kid like me, it was so overwhelming and confusing that the only way to get through the class was to learn every single words and commas in the book by heart.

However, given limited time and abilities, one does not simply remember a whole 400-page book. Learn-by-heart method carried me through the mid-term test and simple quizzes, but as the intimidating final was coming in weeks, I was desperately hopeless. When every chance seemed to be thin, I was pulled out of the dark by my old book of idioms.

I loved to collect idioms when I was a child, having no idea how beneficial they could be. I found the mean to decode the cryptic language of philosophy in rhymed sentences of idioms. It parallels perfectly every idea in simplest ways. "What feeds us defines us" - famous idea of materials define mental states by Karl Marx. While Engels needed pages to clarify the power of labor, idioms comprehend it in 3 sentences: "Hard-working made sweet rice", "Labor-made man is the seeds of life", "Labors elevated man from mere soil and ices". They are miraculous idioms.

From then, I found the key to unlock that treasure of philosophy. Eventually, in the final test, I answered all the questions in simple, reasonable expressions with ease. From idioms, I found the appealing side of philosophy, and even made my way into the school's philosophy contest. Sometimes, the best form to express something is the simplest.

Undergraduate / 'a sense of love and existence' - Stanford what is worth to me [3]

Please read and give comments please
Also, help me with grammatical errors.
Appreciate any help and will return the favor
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It would be unwise for one to put everything he cares in a box and carries it throughout his life. It would also be juvenile to leave the box empty, or simply put everything out to ease his way out of the journey. From my perspective, in certain periods of life, one has to appreciate the importance of taking in and letting go. Hence, that procedure of selection matters to me most.

It is not an easy quest seeking the real value of one's life. There were times when I decided to fill up my box with general beliefs collected from the society, considering it is wise to follow the lead of all bright minds. Then I realized all I have was a handful of dogmatic, which varied in perspectives and information. Yet it came the moment I tried to embrace all the emotions, all the feelings, to gain a sense of love and existence. But emotions triggered by chemical components, so it frightens me by the ideas of treasuring such exchange of mere substances. Back and forth, everyone must have stumbled on the real value of money. Would it be the equivalent exchange for happiness? Or would it be a shame to dispute the true powerful effect of such liquid? If so, what distinguished mankind from the animal in our quest to benefit ourselves?

I believe the answer relies on knowledge. It is the most substantial component in the process of selection. By making decisions that supported by righteous self-knowing and justified reasons, one releases himself from the tiresome cell made of imperfections. I experienced that sanguine feeling, when I chose to pursue my studies in the Information Technology oriented class. I am informed of the obstacles, and acknowledged the intense time of a gifted class. However, after all the evaluations, I recognized my original affection for this science itself. So there it was in my box, still sparkling to this day, my profound feeling for computer and technology.

By making reasonable choices, I find my life worthy and meaningful.

Undergraduate / 'chances to experience the terrific Core' - Why Uchicago [7]

Well, first of all , Happy New Year guys
I have been stuck with my application with Uchicago for a while,
and i just want you guys to take a look , and spot for grammatical errors please
I will return the favor :)
Thanks
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To be honest, there was no time at all before I lost my heart to the University of Chicago. However, as many optimists may say: "True love might come at first-sight".

I was not even informed of this University before the admission office sent the emails to me. As I remember, it was a message about some silly 50-foot robot. Back then, I had a very blur image of what this university, not to mention the blank page about its library. It took me a few glances into the mail, and I was snapped out of my day dreaming. "What ? A robot ? A giant robot ? Wait, that is so not silly ? How cool is that?". I was raised up in the blooming ages of technology, and my childhood was bonded to the images of transforming robots from outside the universe, so the first thing I would ever dream of, is such amazing library that equipped you with so advanced technology that cures one from boredom. It was a lightning, which sparkled up my ambition to get in this university.

Please do not judge me as shallow or juvenile, but the affection for this university grows daily. I was totally mesmerized by many exciting extended essay questions, and same as any lovers, I spent my days and nights struggling for the perfect answer. It was both a feeling of nervous, mixed with excitement, when I imagine how my application would be perceived. Day after day, I was even more thrilled about the school. It has great such great appearance, as it gives such wonderful feeling by the combination of gothic designs and high-tech appliances. I was overwhelming with the remarkable people who graduated from the university, from the pioneer of loop quantum gravity such as professor Abhay Ashtekar, to the hilarious writer Hayden Schlossberg, who directed many of the funniest movies. A chill ran through my spine when I visualize the picture in which many students in my future school will be such fascinating people. Witty minds, with wry humor.

I would be involved in so many great things in this university. I would love the chances to experience the terrific Core. There is so much to learn in such extensive fields. I can see this as a chance for me to connect to an outside world, to be introduced to new boundaries, instead of being caged in a restricted area of knowledge. If given the opportunity, I would definitely make use of the Academic Advising System, to fully extend my abilities in a studious way.

I believe university is a place where one is explored and educated, not to be trained or tamed. Since my feeling for you, University of Chicago, is so vigorous, I believe my expectations will be fully fulfilled.

Undergraduate / 'opportunity to travel anywhere in the world' - Colgate supplement essay [3]

Hi everyone, it is almost the deadline of Colgate University. I entrust you guys to have 1 last look to my supplements. Please help figuring out minors grammatical errors or spell check, and give me your thoughts about my essay.

I have and I will return the favors.
Thank you
Colgate prompt: .If you had the opportunity to travel anywhere in the world during your time at Colgate, where would you go, and why?

There were times when I asked my mother why a flag have similar colors to an Italian flag steadfastly adorned my father's desk. After growing up a little, I realized that the item actually belonged to a lovely country - Bulgaria.

Bulgaria was planted in me through the retold memories of my parents: such Bulgarian fascinating tradition to show disagreements by nodding, while awkwardly shake their heads for approval. I was told of vivid adventures on antique traveling trains of Sofia, the country's capital city. My childhood also filled with the warm embrace and aroma of Bulgarian cuisine. Fresh yogurt and crunchy cucumber graced the mystical tase of Tarator soup, while Christmas dinners never failed to have fresh warm Banista. And I always remember that wonderful feeling when I ended a tiring day with a sip of Bulgarian fermented drink, Boza. Whenever he saw my amazement and endearment for Bulgaria's culture, my father always responded with a smile:" Wait until you have a taste of real Bulgaria".

However, I still have not had the chance to set foot on the soil of Bulgaria. The country is no longer in its golden times, and only flickers like an old flame in the ruins. Yet it give me more reasons to experience the place if I given the chance by Colgate University. It is time for me to grow up from my inner child, to create stories of his own, and shatter walls that limited his visions. Only when I relate my own experience to my knowledge, I could connect to the outside world.

No longer the magical realms of my childhood dreams, present day Bulgaria with its faded beauty and unknown adventures awaits me.