Undergraduate / Late Show style Personal Statement [5]

I choose topic of my choice in Common Application and use a distinctive style.In this essay I highlight one characteristic:to be different.Please give me some advice.Thanks!

I wonder whether it is appropriate to use this style in an academic essay.Please help!

At the night of September 20th 2008, I finished watching Late Show with David Letterman. With the nameless happiness and excitement, called by Nox and Morpheus*, I fell asleep...

( 23:00 PM , 09.20.20??, CBS channel )
David Letterman: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I think you are all familiar with Gamepedia---the union of encyclopedia and online-game, which leads to the new age of education and entertainment. And now I'm honored to give you its inventor and designer. Here's the lovely the lively Chaoli Sun!

Chaoli Sun: Hi, Dav! Like my game---
(Chaoli trips over the stage and throws himself on David)
David: (holding Chaoli) Wow, seriously I've never ever seen a greeting like this; you are distinctive!
Chaoli: America is always full of passion, even the floor wants to kiss me.
David: So how's your trip?
Chaoli: Good, the airhostess was hot! Have you been to China before?
David: No, but I wish. Where do you suggest me to go?
Chaoli: Mm...HUANGSHAN---the most beautiful place in China with lovely mountains! I've been there before. But I suggest you not take the usual way.

David: What does that mean?
Chaoli: All tourists taking a trip in Chinese mountains are walking on steps---that's the usual way. But here's my trip: I was with my friends. When we were at the waist of the mountain, I got lost when I was chasing a squirrel for a picture. But I wasn't panic at all, because I believed that "All roads lead to Rome" and that I could get to the top in another way that no one else has tried. So I crossed the streams, climb the lianas, got on the rocks...and finally I reached the top, with pride and excitement. You know, the feeling of climbing is totally different from that of walking; let alone the incredible scenery you could watch. Thereafter I never took steps when I traveled to a mountain.

David: But that's dangerous! What if you were at my age!
Chaoli: I know, but being afraid misses beauty. If you want to see what others can't see, you have to take risk.
David: Not if I shield my nose first.

David: Do people usually like to work with you? Since you like to risk?
Chaoli: Oh, actually I'm a little cautious when I'm working. I have my way.
David: Such as?
Chaoli: When I was working for Students in Free Enterprise in 19, a patent inventor that my team was helping with had a problem in her rain boot manufacture. One night my team was having a meeting discussing it, and someone said we should find investor first while another one suggested we make a market research first...I was just sitting there saying nothing, you know why?

David: You were a slob.
Chaoli: No! I was criticizing their opinions in my mind, capturing the flaws. I usually gave my opinion later than others, but what I said was different from anybody's view and was always the most appropriate solution.

David: They must hate you.
Chaoli: No, they admired me.
David: Then what kind of people do you admire?
Chaoli: Oh, I admire Robert Frost for his word: "Two roads diverged in the wood, and I took the one less travelled by..." I adore Thomas Edison---first man brings light to night. I like Bill Gates---first man creates widespread useful software. I appreciate Wright brothers---first guys able to kiss clouds...

David: Then you must love Titanic---first ship dared to hit iceberg.

David: So let's talk about Gamepedia. how did you come up with an idea of inventing such a weird stuff that captures endless hearts?

Chaoli: I...(raises two eyebrows)
David: When did you start to think about it?
Chaoli: 19 yeas old. You know, I used to be crazy about online-game. Online-game was a warm port for teenagers who were all at sea, but it was depravity after all. Fortunately I finally got rid of what I'm unwilling to abandon. But I wouldn't let it go in vain. I mean, I've figured out my defects from people's scorn, I've changed pop-can into birdseed container, I've got inspiration of poem from a refusal of a girl when I asked her for a dance...Any tiny thing around us, even failure, has its value; we can benefit something from it. And one night after over-drinking, bang! "Why not change games?" "Who says that game players could have fun only through fight?" And the idea was born!

David: What did you drink? Tell me by stealth! (stretches his head)

David: Is it toilsome generating the whole unprecedented thing?
Chaoli: Of course! Somebody teased me, somebody discouraged me, and somebody induced me to a high-salary job...
David: Mm...I heard that you used to preside at piano in high school?
Chaoli: Uh-huh.
David: And you also won prizes in the speech, animation design, and basketball game around that time?
Chaoli: That's right.
David: So many talents you have! Then why did you stick with a crazy idea? Why did you choose the way that you couldn't see the future as your future?

Chaoli: Have you ever seen a rocket turning around?
David: Yeah, in Bizarro World. (pauses for seconds) Okay, I haven't.
Chaoli: So, in spite of unpredictable black hole or supernovae explosions ahead, a rocket goes straightly; it takes its own path. All I want to be is such a rocket. Once I retrofire, every issue is as thin as tissue.

David: Well, good job! Congratulations!
Chaoli: Thank you very much!
David: Good to see you!
Chaoli: Always a pleasure!
David: My pleasure! Chaoli Sun, everybody!
(clapping)

Opening my eyes, I can still hear the clapping----oh, it's heavily raining outside---a piece of lightning lacerates stifling clouds with roaring thunderclap. But I am thrilled. Because a new dawn is on its own way .And so is my dream, which I fervently believe.

*Nox: the primordial goddess of the night in Greek mythology
Morpheus: the principal god of dreams in the Greek mythology

Postscript - Unlike probably most Chinese students or possibly even students in your college I am not interested by college as a means to make more money in my career. I want to go to college so that I am prepared to go out into life fully prepared and equipped so that I can make my contributions to society supported by a sound education. That is why I want to go to college and that is why I am asking you to view my whole application with open minds and open hearts. From my side I can give you my fullest assurances that I will make your college more colorful and proud to have had me as a student, proud to have me as an alumni.

Undergraduate / 'Recycling and LOVE' - your reasons for applying to Hamilton College [5]

Because the character limitation is 2000(about 300 words),I just state one major reason.Please give some advice,and thanks!

I've changed keyboard into necklace,I've changed pop-can into birdseed container,I've changed juice bottle into corbeil ...Always having environmental awareness,I don't let any tiny thing around me go in vain;because I know even the worthless thing has its value,which is just temporarily unnoticed.Hmilton College's emphasis on recycling deeply attracts me.And I want to contribute my creative ideas to make it more than just recycling.Here's the way I changed a waste keyborad:I seperated keys "L","O","V","E" from the keyborad and arranged them vertically on a platform;then I put "Y" to the left of "O" and "U" to the right of "O";finally I fixed all of them with glue and attached a chain on the top---a perfect "LOVE YOU" pectoral cross was made!So I not only reduced plastic waste but also made a refined jewellery which captured plenty of hearts of my friends.Later I produced lots of copies and sold them for money,and donated the money to charity.I wish I could make a contribution to Cram and Scram Reuse Program and give a fire-new definition to RecycleMania.I wish my life in Hamilton College would be not just improving collecting rates and reducing waste but digging out all the trash's potential value as much as possible,making every bit of them reused fully and entirely.There are also many other dreams I wish to realize in Hamilton College,and I'll make them all come true if I were lucky enough to be matriculated.

Undergraduate / 'forgiveness and understanding' - Why essay to Trinity College [2]

prompt: An important part of our institutional mission is to ''free the mind from parochialism and prejudice.'' As a member of the Trinity community, how might you seek to contribute to the fulfillment of this endeavor? Thanks for any advice!

After specifically reading THE TRINITY COLLEGE STUDENT INTEGRITY CONTRACT, I learn that Trinity College puts a extreme emphasis on honesty, more than any other schools..First I admit that honesty is the most basic character a person must have; the world can't run without honesty. But everything has two sides, and I believe that the excessive stress on integrity may lead to prejudice and discrimination to those who have made mistakes in honesty.

Mighty professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter always likes to give others a second chance. Because human will never be passionless or heartless like other subjects; conscience bring them great remorse after they make sin, and many times they don't mean to make mistakes on purpose. So giving them tolerance means providing them a chance to atone and restart; which otherwise means pushing them to the way to depravity. Those whom Dumbledore had shown mercy to--- Hagrid, Luping, Snape...not just showed their solid loyalty to Dumbledore, but sacrificed their lives to defend love and beauty in the world. And Dumbledore's mistakes made by credulity were so negligible when compared to those consequences caused by love and forgiveness.

Another person I'd like to mention is a character that impressed me most in Prison Break--- Theodore Bagwell (T-bag). In the second season of the serial, influenced by T-bag's dirty past, his lover discredited his desire to start with a clean slate, destroying his chance to restart and making his minds full of resentment and reprisals. In the fourth season of the serial, T-bag used to hold his hand to the agent from company due to his moral guiltiness, and let hostages mother and daughter escape; but he was set up by the company, and his only goodwill was obliterated again. T-bag is despicable, but he's more pathetic. Not that he doesn't want a normal life--- full of love, care and mirth, he just hasn't got the chance. Can a person with nine figures account afford the most truly warm and cordial and affectionate love in the world? If we show tolerance and understanding to people who have made mistakes, even a little bit, than we might bring grace to not just one person, but thousands or millions of people; because love and tolerance can be widely spread. When you show mercy to one person, this person would treat others in the same way. In such a virtuous cycle, the more people get benefit, the powerful the love will be.

I treat people with honesty in my life. Although I used to be deceived by a boy for a toy, cheat by a stranger for a mobile phone, fooled by my opponent in debating competition... I still believe the existence of beauty and love. When other people, even strangers or someone used to betrayed me, ask me for help, make promises to me, or have deals with me, I always choose to trust them, to help them, and to love them: I've lent money to roommates who used to steal, I've paid for client who didn't have his wallet in the restaurant, I've helped player who used to have conflict with my team in basketball match... because I believe that they still have their love, their responsibility, and their integrity.

This is what I'm going to do in Trinity College, and this is what I'm going to persuade other Trinity members to do--- during the life of communication, treat people with not only honesty and integrity, but also forgiveness and understanding; paint the whole world with more pigment of love.

Undergraduate / I was presiding at piano in a 13-piano-ensemble at The Cemetery for Martyrs in April 2006. [3]

Please give me some advice,thanks!

I was presiding at piano in a 13-piano-ensemble at The Cemetery for Martyrs in April 2006. It was a successful performance, but it's not the performance itself that impressed me most, but the previous time of rehearsal. The ensemble needed everyone's cooperation on attitude, time, and practice. But accidents happened a lot: someone got sick, someone had a meeting...so that the rehearal kept being tough. The music teacher was angry and blamed those who were absent, making them embarrassed and frustrated. Being the leader, I comforted and encouraged them; I collected all their schedules and rearranged a new rehearsing time, making sure of everyone's presence. The rehearsals were not smooth for the long and hard melody as well as the high playing requirement. I appeased and inspired every player who ever wanted to give up for I knew that only the union of excellent individuals could bring their potential into full play. And finally everything just paid off. I think I would remember this time forever.

Undergraduate / 'emphasis on individual' - Sarah Lawrence College supplement [2]

I did research the school a lot but I wonder whether this essay hit the question well.Please give me some advice, and thanks!

2. We assume that you have changed throughout your high school years, and we are curious to hear what experiences and challenges in the past four years have influenced who you have become. We are also interested in how these changes have led you to apply to Sarah Lawrence College. What is it about the college and its unique educational structure that leads you to think that you will be a good fit? How will the college help you fulfill your goals?

Applying for Sarah Lawrence College is not a sudden impulsion but a first choice after careful consideration. I believe that there are two points in Sarah Lawrence's unique Philosophy that I will be a good fit.

First, Sarah Lawrence puts an extreme emphasis on individual. Being a person who changed from competitive to cooperative, I wish to unite excellent individuals in Sarah Lawrence, searching solutions for the academic and artistic problems that couldn't be solved by individuals. From my graduation of high school in 2007 till today, I spent most time joining the team of SIFE (Students In Free Enterprise) in Shanghai Institution of Foreign Trade to improve my experience and ability. At first, after passing the test and interview of team-admission successfully, I attended many projects such as selling tea and looking for investment for patentees. Always being independent and not relying on others, I chose to work alone: market research, business plan, business negotiation... I put lots of energy but gained little progress in two months. Then I realized the importance of cooperation. Projects needs team work, and cooperation can bring efficiency. So I changed my way of working: I communicated and helped my other team members initiatively; we shared our ideas and experience. Due to my passion and diligence, I soon became one of the project leaders. And we've got great achievements. According to three fundamental values which Sarah Lawrence is based on mentioned in the Karen R. Lawrence (president of Sarah Lawrence)'s letter, Sarah Lawrence puts a strongly intense focus on the individual. And The "Mission and Method of a Sarah Lawrence Education" also mentions that it is through practices centering upon the growth of the individual that the college's educational aims and objectives are realized. However, no matter how advanced the engine is, without tires and gas, Porsche is nothing but a trash. And the splendid pyramids were not built by several outstanding pharaohs. The infinite power belongs to team not individual. Besides, I believe that different elements are potentially related, like the invention of radar was enlightened by bat. Sarah Lawrence does have numerous elites of different specialities, and I wish I could not only contribute myself as an individual but also combine all others' intellectual marrow, making most of the potential of group as well as individual.

Second, Sarah Lawrence's philosophy encourage transcending any intellectual and creative limitations, which is the faith I've always been holding. I used to be addicted to computer games at the first year of my high school. After getting over the indulgence of it, I didn't just get away from games; instead, I wanted to change it to a new system called "gamepedia" obtaining joy of game as well as knowledge of encyclopedia; I wanted to integrate entertainment and education that are elsewhere conceived of as mutually exclusive. And this is what Sarah Lawrence's philosophy advocates: seek to integrate elements in education that are elsewhere conceived of as mutually exclusive. This distinctive college's other specific characteristics like "no departmental syllabi, standard textbooks or fixed teaching procedures" and "encourage students to build their own concentrations, selecting courses tailored to their interests and abilities, as well as to their career goals" also reflect high humanistic and free stance. Sarah Lawrence can provide my creativity a fully developing space, and provide me a path leading to the invitation of "gamepedia" instead of absorbing facts and figures or producing academic clones. And I wish I could use my creative minds to give a new definition of the college's elements that seem mutually exclusive: reason and imagination, subject matter and personal experience...digging out all potential value as much as possible, making every bit of them used fully and entirely.

Finally, the abbreviation of my name is CLS, and the abbreviation of Sarah Lawrence College is SLC. I'm very interested and expectant in the integration of these two mutually exclusive elements. What about you?

Undergraduate / Common app short answer--SIFE activity [5]

Elaborate one of your activities.(150 words)I think this short answer is about an activity's impact on me. Please give me some advice, and thanks!

From my graduation of high school in 2007 till today, I spent most time joining SIFE (Students In Free Enterprise) team to do socially useful activities.One of the projects I attended was to help a patentee get investment and manufacturers. Af first, I was fervent and active that I dated and negotiated with several marketing managers from difference manufacturers. But the negotiations all failed. I made an analysis and found out that in the negotiation, I had been too anxious to introduce the advantages of the patentee's product and ignored the real situation and needs of the manufacturers.Then I soon searched some negotiating skills on the internet and analysed every detail of manufacturers so that I could change my negotiating strategy with the combination of the patentee's product's advantages and the manufacturers' needs. In the following negotiations, I talked cautiously and calmly. And I successfully made several contracts. This experience made my minds maturer and taught me to make decisions more calmly and more comprehensively in my later life.

Undergraduate / "Um! Yah! Yah!" - why you chose St. Olaf college [2]

St. Olaf College is a dynamic and vibrant residential community. Write a letter to your roommate, who doesn't yet know you, telling him or her why you chose St. Olaf and what you are most looking forward to in college. Thanks for any advice!

Dear roommate,

Hello! Um! Yah! Yah!

My name is Chaoli Sun and I come from China. I can't wait to see you in the school! I'm sure you think the school is amazing just as I do, because there are many fascinating things waiting for us. And for me, one of the most attractive school features will be St. Olaf's environmental stewardship, especially the part of waste and wasting.

I've changed keyboard into necklace, I've changed pop-can into birdseed container, I've changed juice bottle into corbeil... always having environmental awareness, I don't let any tiny thing around me go in vain; because I know even the worthless thing has its value, which is just temporarily unnoticed. St. Olaf's emphasis on environmental sustainability deeply attracts me. And I want to contribute my creative ideas to make environmental restoration more than just recycling.

Here's the way I changed a waste keyboard: I separated keys "L", "O", "V", "E" from the keyboard and arranged them vertically on a platform; then I put "Y" to the left of "O" and "U" to the right of "O"; finally I fixed all of them with glue and attached a chain on the top--- a perfect "LOVE YOU" pectoral cross was made! So I not only reduced plastic waste but also made a refined jewelery which captured plenty of my friends' hearts. Later I collected waste keyboards and produced lots of copies and sold them for money, and then I donated the money to charity. You'll have one when we meet. I'm sure you will definitely love it!

I wish I could make a contribution to the Waste Management, Inc., and give a fire-new definition to the Rice County Recycling Center. I wish my life in St. Olaf College would be not just improving collecting rates and reducing waste but digging out all the trashes' potential value as much as possible, making every bit of them reused fully and entirely. I want to reform more than just paper, food, electronic, toxic, and water waste--- but also plastic, nylon, metal waste... --- those trashes difficult to dispose of.

Another thing in St. Olaf College that I'm strongly looking forward to is St. Olaf's passionate involving in music. It has been 3 years since my presiding at piano in a 13-piano-ensemble at Changzhou city-pageant in front of an audience of 3000 people. How I wish to join St. Olaf's music ensembles to regain my enthusiasm and heat in music! And I also love to contribute the Chinese and Asian elements of music to St. Olaf's melodies and songs. If you are a instrumental music fan too, I'll be happy to play for you every day!

Anyway, I believe that St. Olaf will be a fantastic choice for you and me! See you school!

Um! Yah! Yah!

Sincerely
Chaoli Sun

(Postscript: "Um! Yah! Yah!" is St. Olaf's shool fight song)

Undergraduate / why you are considering Rhodes College? [4]

Please give us a brief explanation of why you are considering Rhodes.
Please tell me if I hit the question well and point out the mistakes if there's any. Thanks!

Applying for Rhodes College is not a sudden impulse but an eager choice after careful consideration. Rhodes seems to believe that something is a life-long pursuit: learning, friendships, experience in leadership and service... I think it is Rhodes College's emphasis on "life-long" that I will be a good fit.

First, believing that learning is a life-long course with unpredictable and unexpected difficulties, I never give up unless I achieve my goals of study, work and life. In my second year of high school, I spent so much time on presiding at piano in the school thirteen-piano-ensemble rehearsal that I left my study behind and my grades fell. After the successful ensemble performance, I couldn't catch up with my classmates as fast as I had expected. But I was not frustrated; instead, I was thrilled. The harder the problems are, the more excited I want to figure them out. I visited my teachers and asked them to arrange tests as soon as possible and as many as possible; I stayed up every day to study. Finally, after several months of striving, I became one of the top 5 students in the final examinations. I wish my life in college is filled with not just passion, but also stamina, diligence and perseverance. And Rhodes will be the best choice.

Second, the life-long course may be tedious for it might be unexpectedly extremely long; but I can make it interesting and give it value at every moment from everything with my creative ideas. Here's a way I care about other people in my daily life: The thing that I'm wearing on my left wrist is not a watch but a mirror; it's quite small but enough for me to see everything behind me; so that when I'm pushing a door to enter a store or restaurant, I could see if there's anyone behind me--- maybe a hobbling old lady or a young mother holding her baby, and I shall hold the door for them. I've been doing this for 7 years ever since someone entered a store without holding the door and the door hit my nose as I was behind him. I've gain lots of thanks, but that's not what I'm doing this for. I do this because it makes me happy every time I serve people. And I wish I could do the same thing in Rhodes College; I wish I could come up with other miracles in Rhodes College's every life-long course.

I love Rhodes College. And I will dedicate myself to it fully and entirely if I were lucky enough to be matriculated.

Undergraduate / Rhodes College short answer---effective leadership [2]

Rhodes College aspires to graduate students with a lifelong passion for learning, a compassion for others, and the ability to translate academic study and personal concern into effective leadership. Please choose ONE of these tenets (Passion for Learning, Compassion for Others, Effective Leadership) and in 200 words or less tell us how you have learned to translate that value into action.

If there's anything can be improved, please point out. Thanks!

Effective Leadership:
I used to work in Students In Free Enterprise to do socially useful activities. Due to my passion and diligence, I soon became one of the project leaders. And the project I was in charge of needed everyone's cooperation and concentration. But accidents happened a lot: someone got sick, someone had a meeting... and the process kept being tough. Another leader was angry and blamed those who were absent in meetings, making them embarrassed and frustrated. Being a leader, I comforted and encouraged them; I collected all their schedules and rearranged a new meeting time, making sure of everyone's presence. At the meetings, some members were a little anxious about the project process while others even wanted to abandon when it seemed hard to find a solution. I appeased and inspired every member who ever wanted to give up, stimulating them to keep fighting. And finally everything just paid off; our project succeeded. I think An effective leadership is not an individual show but an ability and a responsibility to combine others, create solidarity, and gather allies for power of union is boundless .That's what a spiritual leader should have, and I showed it up in my experience.