Writing Feedback / IELTS;Children are under increasing educational, social, and financial stress [5]

Children are under increasing educational, social, and financial stress. Some people think this is a positive development. Do you agree?
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Currently, more students are suffered from overloading the stress from education, society and finance, which is believed as a positive development to make students achieve better academic performance by some individuals. However, as far as I concerned it is not a good idea to cultivate children by giving them too much stress. It is except that children are under a proper stress that make them work harder than their peers.

In terms of schooling, I admit that the stress, sometimes, can become a motivation to those children, who are going to work hard in order to get rid of stress. In addition, by exposing to stress, children might learn how to tackle the problems that they may meet during working life, which is a good practice on school before they start their real social life.

Unfortunately, some children complaint that they are indeed taking too much pressure from educational, social, and financial problems. It seems the pressure could not be released easily by themselves, regardless of what solutions they come up with. As a consequence of that, children are disappointed by their academic results that are caused by the stress, and entering a vicious cycle.

In my opinion, children are undertaken too much stress than what we expected. Sometimes the stress create a huge burden to children, if they can not deal with it properly. In order to have a healthy cycle in schooling, we should focus on how to cultivate the interests of study rather than pushing children forward just by giving them stress.

Writing Feedback / The advertising and the need of society, IELTS [3]

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which the are sold. To what extent you agree or disagree ?

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With a large number of products have been sold, many people complaint that they are always buying unwanted goods because of effect of advertising. The commercials from TV programs, radios and websites, keep persuading people to purchase certain products. It is the commercials that become a motivation of purchasing rather than the needs to products.

Firstly, even though the influence of advertising has been admitted by most of us, some of them do not realize they tend to buying something that is promoted by merchants. For example, consumers are more likely to purchase a shampoo that is showed on a TV commercial with a refreshing and relaxing environment. But, most of times, it is not really necessary and costing too much. The ads is depriving consumer of right of selection by continuously persuading them from all medias they might reach.

Moreover, the pro ducting and broadcasting of advertising does cost the huge amount of society resources, which is totally unnecessary. The waste of resources should be invested in the development of products and eliminating the impacts to natural environment. Reusable or recycle plastic bag, for instance, is a good feature of products to allocate money into rather than advertising.

In addition, in order to boost the effectiveness of goods, the influence of advertising has to be minimized. The less effect of adverting are, the more focus on the needs and the functions can be achieved.

In conclusion, I agree the view that the advertising play a significant role in selling the consumer goods that are not the real need of the society.

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Please point out the grammar errors, thx

Writing Feedback / IELTS General training, inviting a friend to visit your new house. [4]

Task1
You have recently moved to a different house.
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In you letter
-explain why you have moved
-describe the new house
-invite your friend to come and visit.
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Dear Amanda,

I am writing this letter to invite you come to visit my new house. I just moved in last week, and I found it even better than previous one that my cousin rented to me. My cousin is getting marry this sunday and his family will move into my old house to start their marriage-life. Therefore, I have to move out.

The new place I found is a 2 bedrooms house with a single toilet and a car-park, which is suitable to my daily purposes. And It has been fully decorated and furnished before I've moved in. Now I have a modernized oven, so I might bake some home-make pies during your visiting. The garden is wonderful. It has plenty space enable me plant whatever I like, and there is a blackberry tree there. I can have blackberry at any time of its season.

Please do come and visit my new place. You'll love it I promise. By the way, you can invite your friends as well. It has plenty space to even host a 20 people party.

All the best
Sam

Hope you guys can give me any advices and correct my grammar errors.

Writing Feedback / IELTS, Why more people travel than before? What are the benefits? [6]

Task2
Today more people are traveling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of traveling for the traveller?
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With the development of modern transportation, may people are likely to traveling during holidays. The tourism industry has been highly developed in order to accept more visitors and be more cheaper than before. In this essay, I am going to examine why is this phenomena occur and what are the benefits of traveling for the traveller.

Firstly, the main reason of traveling proliferation is individuals have more disposable money and leisure time, which impels the possibility of traveling, even international traveling. The cost of traveling is more acceptable as people are well-paid and keen to explore new things. In addition, the modern transportation technologies have remarkably reduce the costs of tourists. Therefore, in my country, it is possible to have a great vacation oversea without paying half an year of salary.

Obviously, The benefits of traveling are contributing to people's mental well-being. Individual is able to broaden his mind by visiting a different culture or experiencing into gorgeous sightseeing. More exactly, the different culture makes individuals think differently, which might be beneficial to individuals' prospective toward things. By experiencing the wonderful nature spots, people are able to release their pressure from daily working. Also, having a short term break from work, as they feel that escaping to a new place.

Furthermore, traveling create an opportunity to meet others, who are share same life attitude and problems. By getting touch with them, you might be able to find out some solutions to problems and exchange ideas toward life without any disturbing from outside.

In conclusion, I believe the traveling is beneficial to people's mental well-being. And tourism would be promoted further by development of modern technologies and changing of people's attitude.

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Thank you for correcting my essay.

Writing Feedback / Parenting outweigh the schooling in terms of nurturing a good member of society [3]

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
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In the present age, the increasing number of people start to realizing the importance of developing a sense of social responsibility for children. But there are different views regarding on where is it can be developed. Some people think it should be learned at home, while others believe the schooling is the key to instill it.

Obviously, the parenting plays a significant role on educating children to became responsible and respectable people. The first teacher of children is their parent as we all known. In my country, there is a idiom says "you can imagine the child's future based on the behaviors of its 3 years old" . That is to say, the vast influencing on a child is its early education that conducted by its parents. Therefore, if the parents attempt to nurture their children in early age, then they are very likely to became those who parents wanted.

However, it is true that schooling has effects on development of children. But there is a clear prospective that the schools used to focus on the academic performance of children. Even through some schools begin to find out that moral well-being as important as academic achievement, they tend to fail on convincing students to be a good members of society, if these students are not. It is caused by the limited resources school has and the difficulties of reforming people.

It is my belief that the parenting outweigh the schooling in terms of nurturing a good member of society.Thus, parents should take more responsibility on children's sense of social responsibility. But it is still vital to raise a awareness of moral educating in schools.

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Thank you for correcting my errors ~~

Writing Feedback / 'not the best way'; steep prices of petrol solve traffic and pollution problems [2]

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measures do you think might be effective?

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To some extent, it is true that the increasing traffic jam and air pollution problems are able to be tackled by raising the price of petrol. However, I personally do not believe that it is the best and only approach to solve those problems.

Obviously, increasing the price of petrol is a effective and efficient means to combat the problems created by vehicles. The higher price of petrol, the less chances people going out by car. In addition, because of the higher cost of petrol, some people might consider to purchase more efficient car instead of buying those cars that are very powerful but not economic in terms of petrol consumption. Furthermore, the car manufactures are going to pay more attention to upgrade their technologies in order to minimize the costs of driving, thereby promoting the sales of their cars. Japanese vehicle manufacture industry is a excellent example of this point.

On the other hand, it is not the best and only way to solve the problems. One of better approaches is to change people's attitude towards environmental protection rather than passively imposing the extra cost of petrol on drivers. It is possible to raise the awareness of environmental respect, through the public education, the media press and etc. Another feasible solution is to build a convenient and modernistic public transportation system that allows the public gain more benefits than driving by their own.

To sum up, I admit that raising the price of petrol is a good way to solve traffic and environmental problems. But according to my own opinion, it is not the best way. The best way to solve those problems is: a dynamic, less passive and more sustainable solution that takes a good combination of all feasible solution.

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Any advice will be welcome and highly appreciate.
Thanks for correcting my errors.

Writing Feedback / IELTS, Children should receive formal education from four years [3]

Topic: In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. How far do you agree with either or these view?

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To some extent, I agree the view that children should attend the school at early age, even through some kids start their eduction life from seven or eight.

Obviously, the early education is beneficial to children's academic performance in future. One benefit is: it makes children feel confident. Imaging, there is a exam in primary school, which involved in some kids who are uneducated before. Then those pupils have been educated certainly have more confidence. Moreover, at primary school, the educated students are more likely to understand the theory of textbooks so that they are not suffering from poor understanding of relatively hard materials. In addition, the better results from early stage motivate the pupils to allocate more time in studying and be proud of studying, which ensures them receive a decent mark later on.

However, others start their school life from seven or eight because their parents believe that little children should not assume those burden and deserve a happy childhood. Admittedly, the schooling impose few psychological and mental pressure to the young children. It might make the childhood be tough and unpleasant to these pupils. The impact of childhood to a individual is vast, and it lasts through a whole life. Personality, for instance, is forming during individual's childhood. The bad experience of childhood might result in a negative and pessimistic person.

To sum up, I personally agree that children should receive formal education from four years old. However, to a four-year-old child, the life should be colorful and pain-free. Therefore, it is the schools' responsibility to establish a healthy education system that makes sure children are well educated but without too much burden.

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The topic came from one of posts I have viewed.

Always having trouble in wring, thanks for helping me out.

Special thanks to "Dumi" who corrects all essays for me.

Writing Feedback / It's a good idea to allow students take a long break in order to work or travel [3]

Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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An increasing trend that students take a year break to gain a travel or work experience before attend the universities. In this essay, I am going to examine the benefits and drawbacks for students to do so.

Obviously, having a travel or work experience contributes to students' education by bringing more financial supports and broadening their mind. An extra funding is able to make by working during the holiday, thereby covering the expenses of schooling and living. It makes students concentrate on their study without worrying their expenses after that year. For those who are not suffering from financial problems may take a break in other countries. It provides the opportunities to meet variety of people and learn different cultures. These knowledge would develop some novel prospectives towards things, such as pollution problems, social problems and etc.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks related to take a long break. Firstly, a long break impels student to forget the old skills that might be vital to further study. For instance, to maintain a good level of mathematic skill requiring frequently intensive practice. Losing those skills results in a tough time during the university life. Moreover, this long-term holiday causes schools losing controls to their students. Thus, few students might take this break as a chance to spoil themselves by exposure on TV games, gambling, even drugs in a strange country or place.

To sum up, it is a good idea to allow some students take a long break in order to work or travel. However, the bottom line is: the schools, parents or other institutes are capable to make sure that young people are taking a good advantage of it.

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All feedbacks are welcome and highly appreciate.
Thanks all you guys.

Writing Feedback / IELTS, The radio service disappear in few years. [2]

Due to the new technologies and the internet, radio is going to disappear in a few years. Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give you own opinion.

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With the development of internet and other advanced technologies, some people believe that the traditional radio seems to disappear from our daily life in future. I do not agree with this view, even though I do agree that the usage of radio is decreasing dramatically.

Admittedly, A large amount of audiences stop listening to radio because they tend to spend their time in other entertainments such as internet exploration, watching TV, etc.. The internet brings a different way of interaction (on demand), which allows individuals can access the information they wanted actively rather than rely on listening to radio passively. For example, people could simply search the data they interested and view them anytime they wanted. Watching TV, on the other hand, is more vivid than radio. It provides a visual feature for audience, which makes interaction become more natural and enjoyable.

But there are two main reasons for preventing traditional radio from going extinct. One reason is its convenience. It provides an opportunity to listen to radio that may contain musics, stories, news, etc., while users are doing other things. An usual practice is listening and walking. Another main reason is its availability. It is its availability that makes radio service is the one of the most common media around the world. People are able to listen to radio almost everywhere, even there are no internet access.

To sum up, although I agree that the number of radio audiences is dropping duo to internet and other technologies, I hardly think that radio may die out in one day. The convenience and availability of radio are going to gain some audiences so that it is unlikely to see radio disappear in future.

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Please comment on it, thanks you guys~

Writing Feedback / IELTS, the reasons for increasing rubbish, and provide the measures for governments. [3]

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish.
Why do you think is happening?
What can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced ?
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With the huge improvement of living standard, people are producing increasingly rubbish, which has made a negative impact on our environment, even ourselves. In this essay, I am going to analyze the reasons for this situation, as well as the possible solutions to this problem.

There are many factors contribute to produce more wastes. The overpopulation is one of the main reasons for this issue. Because of more people, the demands rise, which raises the amount of rubbish. In addition, people's lifestyle is changing to make the situation even worse. The sedentary lifestyle not only harm our physical wellbeing, also has a bad effect on environment by producing more wastes. For instance, the disposable plastic package of food is using to save the time for cleaning after serving. Furthermore, the costs of making new products are declining remarkably, but the costs of recycling are still relatively high. As a consequence, the factories tend to produce new products by using non-renewable materials, thereby maximizing their profits.

On the other hand, some measures can be taken to reduce the production of rubbish by government. One feasible solution is to control the population, which is the root source of rubbish. For example, in China, the government applied "one child" policy to its citizens, which dramatically restricts the increase of population. Also, by educating the general public, it raises the awareness of conservation. The waste amount is likely to decrease quickly, if people bear the environmental respect in mind. One of the other possible ways is by taxing those factories that make a lot of wastes and put less efforts on recycling. By doing so, the factories are encouraged to recycle wastes in order to avoid being taxed too much. Thus, it soar the costs of making products by using non-renewable materials.

To sum up, if government were able to take above measures into serious consideration, the amount of rubbish would reduce quickly and people would enjoy their life in our great planet.

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Thanks for providing your comments.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Too much noise in public places; Causes and Measures [4]

There is too much noise in many public places. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?
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With the progress of urbanization, increasing people come to the big cities, and most of them from the rural area. It means they probably do not receive any formal education. Those are the people who are tend to behave badly in public places. As a consequence, there is more noise than even before.

However, it is not the only reason to cause this problem; the respect to others is usually ignored in our modern education. It is a fact that people or education institute focus on one's academic performance and look down upon the good manner that we inherit from our ancestors. By having that, people do not know how to behave properly in public places. Thus, it is common to see someone who speak loudly in front of others.

In order to address this problem, the governments, the education institutes and individuals should cooperate each other to encourage people maintain a good manner in public places. The governments may allocate more money to nurture the sense of public awareness. For example, it is possible for the nations to make the advertisement on TV, newspaper or even public places to convey the idea of the importance of respect to others. Another key point is that the education institutes should treat the manner class as vital as the other academic classes. In other words, the schools must pass the good manner to students at the same time of instilling the knowledge. The individuals are also important. Individuals need to point out the people who make the noise of what they should do, and persuade them to behave properly.

In conclusion, there are many key points causing this issue. To resolve it, the entities have been mentioned above should work with each other. I believe that the more effort these entities put in, the lesser chance we see nosily public places.