Writing Feedback / I'm industrious person who'll achieve 6.5 Band,EILTS Writing 3 - First Headlamps [3]

First Headlamps

A couple decades ago, electric headlamps had not been invented. The use of flame was the only way to light. Even thought, there are several imperfection namely: easily extinguished and hard to carry. Hence it had never been considered as mean of illumination.

That phenomenon impacted on the train schedule, which was only available during the day. In the late 1830s, freight trains were fascinating service and disrupted to passenger train schedules. In order to overcome these problems, Horation Allen invented "Track Illuminator" which enabled the trains could be operated every time.

Several years ahead, Schenectady and Troy trail road trains adopted a whale oil lamp, it increased the visibility of the train up to 100 feet. Yet the braking distance of the train must be just over 100 feet. In 1851, the first electric headlamps was founded. Although that had two principal problems such as it needed its own generator, which did not easily carry until the 1890s when steam generators had been well developed. Afterward, several countries namely Russia, French and the United States started the use of the steam generation to power illuminator on trains. Eventually, by 1916, federal law regulated the trains to apply electric headlamps.

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Writing Feedback / The writing was the only way of communication with gods for the ancient people [3]

Wanna help me to get 6.5, check it out - EILTS Summary 4_Origins of Writing

Origins of Writing

The writing was the only way of communication with gods for the ancient people such as Sumerians, Assyrians, Maya and Chinese either. The writing history started more than 25.000 years ago, by discovering painting pictures on the cave. Meanwhile, the researchers report that there are three different stories where the writing system was founded independently: Mesopotamia, China, and Mesoamerica.

The ancient Sumerians in Mesopotamia are the first community who developed the writing system dates from around 3.000 B.C, affected by the need to report regarding property ownership and agricultural societies. In addition, the Chinese writing system started approximately 1500 B.C. it is named as oracle bone script", which was applied to assess the life ahead and they wrote the information on animal bones and shells. Afterwards, the writing system was developed to be a formula that was used to record government activities. Finally, The Chinese writing system was also the principal intrinsic for other Asian countries. However, In Mesoamerica, a region consisted of Mexico and Central America. It is the ancient Mayas who are popular for the writing. They labeled the information by particular symbols.

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Writing Feedback / Find this out friends. EILTS Summary 5_Hola Dancing in Hawaiian Culture [3]

Hola Dancing in Hawaiian Culture

Hawai Island is renowned with its traditional culture, called Hula dancing. It has been markedly enhancing the level of visitors in such pacific paradise and play principal part in their culture. However, Hawaiian believe to several stories regarding the origins of hula. However, all ancient descriptions explain that it was performed to honor god or goddess and that was followed by remarkable ceremony. It is a common stereotype that the ancient hula was acted only by men. Otherwise, the scholars reports obvious explanations that hula was traditionally performed by both men and woman.

Hula was discourage around Hawaiian society caused of the communication with European cultures, which were carried by the English Explorer Captain James Cook. Although, during King David Kalakua's reign in the late nineteenth century. He is fascinated to revive and redevelop that lost Hawaiian tradition.

Nowadays, hula becomes well-known dancing in the world and performed with two sort of styles, ancient and modern basis. Both are distinguished from their played instruments. Traditional hula performed to the accompaniment of songs and the beating of drums. Meanwhile, modern hula followed with guitar and ukulele music.

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Writing Feedback / Help me to improve my writing. EILTS 6_Nurse Migration [3]

Nurse Migration

The nursing shortage has been a serious problem not only for certain countries but also in the entire world. Long-term solutions are required to overcome such condition. Especially, in emerging countries such as sub-Sahara Africa, South Asia, and Latin America. At least, there are two particular issues caused by the nursing shortage. Firstly, The worker's immigration. They vacated the job in their home country in favor of higher salaries and better quality of life in wealthier countries in Europe and North America. Secondly, limited nurse supply. It resulted in shrinking of the nurse-to-population ratio.

The nursing migration phenomenon has been appearing for last decades. However, it has been supplying both advantages and disadvantages for specific countries. The Philippines have been successful to affect its thousands of citizens overseas, increasing its remittance approximately $ 1 billion annually. In order side, drawback appeared that nursing positions at home are unfilled. Meanwhile, in African countries in which the HIV/AIDS epidemic is rampant, some sufferers were not appropriately treated because of unavailable drugs.

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Writing Feedback / Brave to disagree - Margaret Heffernan [2]

Brave to disagree - Margaret Heffernan

There was a fantastic doctor in oxford named Alice Stewart. She was unusual because it was pretty rare in 1950 as a woman become a doctor. In order to get her Ph.D. title, she was insisted on overcoming the crucial problem and she chose the rising incidence of childhood cancers. She found that most children who were suffering cancer had mothers who had been x-rayed when pregnant. She intended to publish her outcomes in The Lancet in 1956, people got very excited, there was the talk of the Nobel Prize.

Alice had a remarkable concept of thinking, working with George was a recluse, while Alice was the outgoing person. Both were opposite people in the way of thinking, preference, and experience. George had helped her to have different thinking to prove that she was true. Alice and George were the constructive collaboration that we need in our life, but how dare we are?

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source: youtube.com/watch?v=PY_kd46RfVE

Writing Feedback / Why we need introvert leader - Angela Hucles EILTS Summary Exercise to gain 7 Band [2]

Why we need introvert leader - Angela Hucles

She believes that all people have the capacity to be a remarkable leader, the importance is preparing the capacity when given the opportunity. However, 96% leadership positions are filled by extrovert individual and only half of world population are identified by being extrovert. In other side, introverts supply only 4% of our leadership. A question that frequently appears on our mind is could introvert be the great leader? And how?

There are several things to do for being an introverted leader. Firstly, find your downtown after mingling with a thousand people. The quiet environment helps you to recharge energy, rejuvenate mind and body, catch innovated ideas and let your fire flowing back to you. Solitude is particular major for an introvert to find courage, desperate it to all team colleagues.

Secondly, involve all group members as important part of a team. There was her special moment at Beijing Summer Olympic, she was USA' members and won the gold medal. She was appointed as leader, affect her introvert qualities to engage all team members in every decision and being an essential unit on the team.

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Writing Feedback / Want to sound like a leader - start by saying your name right - Laura Sicola | 7 Band Candidate [2]

Want to sound like a leader - start by saying your name right - Laura Sicola

Leadership communication is major issues that have been being talked by million people. Laura Sicola names it as an executive presence which consists of appearance, communication skills, and gravitas. The gravitas is the ability to make tough decisions and stick with them. However, there is a missed part between communication skills and gravitas which she defines as VOCAL Executive Presence, it means that how do you sound when you are making those tough decisions. And it has 3 basic instruments are vocal tonality, body language, and word choice. Vocal tonality contributes 30% to your presentation performance, and 55% and 7% proposition are supplied by body language and word choice respectively. Unfortunately, most of us spend the majority of time preparing a remarkable presentation with cool graphic and animation. They put efforts on something that has a unspecial impact.

Tonality. if we use strategically, it helps the audience to focus on most importance, increasing better understanding regarding the materials. And as a leader, we have to demonstrate it to impress our co-workers or convenience our business clients, even give good impressive in the first meeting is necessary. We can start it with going up our first name and going down for the second one.

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Writing Feedback / U.S Meat & Poultry Consumption, Per Capita, Boneless By Species - Writing Task 1 [2]

The graph presents the meat and poultry consumption in the US from 1985 and 2012 and projected consumption in 2012. It is noticeable that beef was the dominant meat throughout this period. However, Pork and Turkey showed some initial fluctuation from 1955 and 1961 respectively.

Between 1955 and 1976, US beef consumption increased significantly from 60 to climax of 90 pounds. During the same period, consumption broilers escalated to around 30 pounds per person, while the line of Pork showed fluctuation and reached the lowest point to 35 in 1976. Turkey was the most unpopular meat, with figures below 10 pounds per capita each year.

By 2012, the amount of beef consumption dropped sharply to 50 pounds, but the consumption of broilers had twice higher in consumption per person since the 1970s, to around 55 pounds. By contrast, US Pork and Turkey consumption were remained the same over the period as a whole.

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Writing Feedback / Three exported products (graph) such as meat products, dairy products, and international tourism [2]

The given bar chart informs the comparisons about someland's main exports in 2005 and 2015 and projected exports in 2015. There are three exported products such as meat products, dairy products, and international tourism. It is noticeable that tourism sector contributed the most someland's income while the least earning was supplied by the meat products.

Between 2005 and 2015, the dairy products increased dramatically from USD 4.5 billion to approximately USD 8 billion. During the same period, the tourism sector escalated gradually by around USD 1 billion while the bar chart of meat products showed a decrease to below USD 4 billion in 2015.

By 2025, a number of projected meat products exports will continue its negative trend, it will shrink slightly to USD 3 billion. But the export amount of international tourism will twice as much as exported meat products. By contrast, dairy products will diminish slightly by USD 0.2 billion. (152 words)

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Writing Feedback / Summary of Article - David Letterman Tackles Climate Change [2]

David Letterman Tackles Climate Change

David Letterman is well-known as Comedian, spread happiness and laughter. After traveling to India with citizens 1.3 billion, he observed regarding world's renewable energy. He was uncared of climate change. Someone uttered that what should we remark when our children found the world get aggravate then say "Daddy, did not you do something to save it? It is his principal basis to start paying attention and institute even in small ways to create more convenience world. In India, he discovered unusual things, people live in cabin and mud homes, breathing coal and kerosene fumes. Then he realized that children live on the floor of a mud are the same as losing their human rights. The children who usually full of funny and happy should deal with uncomfortable conditions. Therefore, he is eager to dedicate his whole life to support overcoming climate change problems and say "yes, I did".

Writing Feedback / People have the stereotype that introverts are solitary and unsociable. [2]

The Power of Introverts - Susan Cain

workplaces, schools, and other institutions are designed for introverted people. It encourages outgoing, rowdy and gregarious. By contract, being solitude, loneliness and privacy are what introverts want. Often people have the stereotype that introverts are solitary and unsociable. Therefore, they force to be more attractive and involve on outgoing activities.

Interesting research by Adam school has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than introverts. Because when they are managing and proactive, involve people to decision-making process and ascertain that every single people in an organization are the essential part. Introverted leader equips ideas and give more space for their co-worker to bubble up an idea. We have a great introverted leader who had proved that they could be inspired people by being introverts such as Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, and etc.

Writing Feedback / Water expenditure in San Diego and California and it's expanding to the rest of the world. [2]

The pie charts illustrate the differences of the water expenditure in two states are San Diego and California and it's expanding in the rest of the world. It is noticeable that residential sector supplies the majority of water expenditure in both San Diego and California, while agriculture is accounted for the most expenditure in every country around the world.

Water spent by San Diego in the residentional sector are three-fifth. Industry sector contributions, which is the second largest of water spending, bring in 23% of overall expenditure, and this is followed by the agriculture sector, at 17%. While in California, there are also three sectors of water expenditure namely residential, industry and agriculture, accounting for 39%, 33%, and 28% respectively.

However, the agriculture is the dominant of the water expenses in the rest of countries, it is estimated around four-fifth. By contrast, the residential contributes only 8%, coupled with industry as the second highest of water spending at 23%. (157 words)

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