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Posts by vania
Name: Vania Stefani Bangun
Joined: Oct 25, 2018
Last Post: Feb 20, 2019
Threads: 7
Posts: 12  
From: Indonesia
School: Universitas Sumatra Utara

Displayed posts: 19
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vania   
Feb 20, 2019
Scholarship / MSc of Entrepreneurship - Stuned Scholarship Essay. [2]

Hi, I'm writing an essay for Stuned Scholarship.
I acknowledge that the essay exceeds the words limit (500 words).

Nevertheless, I hope to gain some insights or inputs to make the essay more effective and strong enough to be granted the scholarship.

Thank you in advance!

the importance of sustainability management



Please address the following points:
·The reason why you apply for the chosen program
·What do you intend to do with your Master degree?
·And, in general, what makes you the best candidate for this scholarship
Maximum 500 words


I choose to read MSc of Entrepreneurship that will amalgamating my working experiences, my previous study and my career as an entrepreneur. Having an initial experience of running businesses which was not successfully managed taught me the importance of sustainability management through sound financing, marketing including creating innovation and constructing a business. The increasingly new market challenges plus the lack of knowledge and skills of such are the key subject areas since these are the most challenging factors I've experienced. Furthermore, though I have developed more profound skills in both accounting with taxation and financial management in a multinational scale throughout my careers learning from working from others, I acknowledge that those individual experiences or knowledge need to be enhanced in an entrepreneurial context.

Currently I am running a start up in arts and design promoting the popularity of Tenun from Sumatra. Upon completing the master degree, I will continue develop and expanding the business using the knowledge, skills, and networks that I gained from the purposed study. I hope to implement the knowledge in creating a business that can also stimulate economic development in some rural area in Indonesia, especially in my localties, through the business. I found that many local artists have difficulties to make a decent living from their artworks, which saddened me deeply. I want to make a change and re-invent the products to meet the market demands using my extensive network to make this possible.

Furthermore, I also plan to inspire and help the local artisans to be entrepreneurs themselves and to market their products. I want create a local business incubator for local entrepreneurs and improve creative economy in Sumatra through mentorship and community. In Indonesia, micro, small and medium-sized companies are the backbone of the Indonesian economy. Although the numbers of SMEs are high, they are finding it very difficult to sustain let alone expand their business. Data shows that the numbers of SMEs have nationally decreased by 2.5% annually in the past 5 years, the players of creative economy in Indonesia have difficulties to market their products locally and globally as well as managing their business, and finally, the number of startups and SME in Sumatra is significantly fewer than in Java region and it decreased annually. Sources from Ministry of SMEs and Indonesian Agency for Creative Economy indicated that this conditions was a result of a low entrepreneurial education and skills such as in finance, management and marketing including innovation to run a sustainable business towards SMEs. These aspects have long been in my consideration as I have had first hand experience and I comprehend fully the importance of these factors. In lieu with the policies set by the government, my set skills will be highly sought after upon my graduation and I can positively contribute to my country.

I am convinced that I am the best candidate for this scholarship because I believe this scholarship is aimed at someone who excels both academically and professionally capable to contribute to Indonesian economic development. With my academic achievements and my professional achievements and my involvement in organisations I believe I meet these criterias. I hope to be given the opportunity to learn about Enetrepreneurship in University of Amsterdam so that I can contribute more to improvement of Indonesia's development and Indonesia-Netherlands relationship in the future.
vania   
Feb 20, 2019
Writing Feedback / Sustainable development - government should spend money on railways rather than roads [3]

If it is for IELTS writing test, I think you use "On the other hand" twice, which you could change to something else like : "meanwhile".

I think you could also change "In fact, when tourists come to foreign nations, it is easily to evaluate the host countries through their road system at the first side" to In fact it is easy to evaluate the host countries through their road system at the first side when tourists come to foreign nations."

The "easily" in this statements doesn't feel right. It should change to "easier" or "easy".
vania   
Feb 20, 2019
Undergraduate / Why NYU? Transfer Essay College of Arts and Sciences Computer Science Major [3]

in my opinion, the essay is good enough to explain why you want to apply to the University.
Nevertheless, I think to make it standout from other applicants, you should highlight your goal or aspirations upon graduation from the university and why you are different from other applicants.

But it depends on the essay requirements or questions. Usually, I encountered University Application Essays which require us to highlight our excellence and career plan.
vania   
Jan 21, 2019
Scholarship / She is a determined, hardworking person. Writing Chevening recommendation letter to British Embassy [3]

WRITING RECOMMENDATION LETTER ON BEHALF OF MS. AAA



reference should cover the following:

1) How long have you known the applicant?
2) In what capacity do you know the applicant? (e.g. professional, educational, supervisory, voluntary, religious)
3) When you last had regular contact with the applicant
4) A brief overall endorsement of the applicant, including their:
·Skills in leadership and networking
·Personal, intellectual, and interpersonal qualities
·Ability to complete a demanding academic programme in the UK


Dear British Embassy/ High Commission,

I am writing this letter to express my support for Vania for the Chevening Scholarship Opportunity. She worked under my supervision as Associate in XXX Ltd since August 2015 until February 2017. I have been appointed as Senior Associate at that time and collaborated with her doing business consultations and business advisory services. It is no hesitation that she was a great asset for the company.

She has an exceptional intellectual potency demonstrated an ability to quickly sift through mountains of data and determine which was relevant to the project and was able to focus on the stated objectives of the project and prioritize every task necessary to accomplish the desired end result. She possesses excellent communication skills, both verbal and written. Furthermore, She is a fast learner and very determined to her work wherein she always managed to finish her work in time.

She also shows a leadership skills and an uncanny ability to foresee a potential problem. There were times where I delegate her as person in charge in some group projects and she shown great analytical skills and managed to complete specific project successfully. She always prepared reports and discuss the details of a project with the team by keeping all members of the project as well as management informed of the progress through every phase. When there was an issue in the project, she stepped in to get everyone involved together to seek the appropriate solution.

She has great interpersonal skills and has a respectful manner that allows her to get along with workers and other stakeholders. She is professional and she often kept our clients satisfied with her work. She maintained good relationship with our clients professionally as well as continuously represented good image of our company by giving her best services.

At personal level, Vania is a lively person who has shown great interest and is passionate on her endeavor in studying more about business and entrepreneurship. In addition to having firsthand knowledge of Vania's work ethic and abilities, I am also familiar with her education and career goals, and know just how much receiving this scholarship means to her. Receiving this scholarship will provide important financial support that will allow her to obtain the additional education necessary to earn her Master I cannot think of anyone more deserving and I wholeheartedly support her application.

Overall, I see her as a hardworking person and have determination to accomplish more. I observe her as an exceptional candidate for this scholarship prospecting her work ethic, great character, and determination. I strongly believe that she will finish her Master Program successfully. I would therefore highly recommend Vania as she is an exceptional candidate whom I believe would gain great benefit and that she will be a good asset in the program. If there is any query with regards to her qualifications, please do not hesitate to contact me at aaa@mail or my number 23123213123131.
vania   
Jan 21, 2019
Undergraduate / le Chiffre indéchiffrable / Puzzles - common app personal essay [2]

I think you have made a good story representing your passion in solving puzzles.
I enjoy reading it because you write it like a story which in my opinion is in sequence.

I cannot give further critics or inputs because I honestly don't know the requirements or the objectives of the essay.

If it was for admission for further study, I think the essay only lack of informations of the relevance to your purposed study to solving problems.

bunch of luck!
vania   
Jan 21, 2019
Undergraduate / From the Booth - RYERSON UNDERGRAD ADMISSION ESSAY [3]

I think you already given an interesting introductory.
Nevertheless, the third paragraph, probably is the weakest paragraph. I think a quote is good as an introductory to what is journalism means to you if this is an essay for undergraduate admission.

I mean, the paragraph should explain about you, not giving a common information.

Buch of luck.
vania   
Dec 3, 2018
Scholarship / Erasmus Master Scholarship Essay - motivation for choosing the GLOCAL programme [2]

Supporting Personal Statement:



I am applying for the GLOCAL-Global Markets and Development pathway which connecting my education of accounting, my interest and experience in entrepreneurship, my professional experiences in project financing and management in order to establish a business that contributes to economic development as an entrepreneur in creative industry.

I have been involved in creative industry ever since my undergraduate days. It was driven by my desire to explore my passion in arts and entrepreneurship. My first professional experience started when I was partnering in starting and running a culinary business which from it I learned about managing resources and setting up goals. A year later, I started a fashion business on my own. I planned and managed every aspect of the business and employed local talents in designing, marketing, and producing the goods.

I was inspired by my parent's businesses that promoted traditional cloths from Indonesia. However, the same obstacles that caused my businesses to be stagnant are the same challenges that obstruct the family business to sustain. Product development, innovation, and marketing aspects are the most challenging obstacles besides financing and management. Data from Indonesian Agency of Creative Economy (BEKRAF) and Indonesia Central Bureau of Statistic show that these aspects also hamper the growth of Indonesia's creative industry. The data in 2017 shows that 97,36% of its players still only market their products locally. Thus, these show that GLOCAL will help me to explore more about these aspects to address the issues and equipped me with knowledge and skills of analyzing globalized economy, innovation for companies in emerging sectors, and marketing in order to contribute in improving Indonesia creative economy.

Having the initial experience in running business that was not successfully managed leading to failure in scaling-up. I decided to take a temporary pause in entrepreneurship but to broaden my perspectives and knowledge in business and skills in financing, management, and business administration from working for others. In the moment, I am working as a finance officer and my main responsibility is controlling cost. I implemented my ability in analysing data and financing when the costing in a specific project had de-railed and was spiraling out of control creating such tension among department. I was successful and we all managed to get through cutting unnecessary cost.

In 2016, I organised a training of taxation conducted by PT Prime Service in Batam. It was attended by tax officers in several private companies and equipped them with knowledge and skills in preparing Transfer Pricing Documentation.

In 2017, I participated in organising Indonesia Expose in New Delhi. It was a platform where business communities and traders both from Indonesia and India met to trade in goods and services. This networking increased investments in both countries. I was assigned in team of planning and offering sound operational and tactical advice where required to achieve the program goals. I gained a lot of knowledge about the trade collaboration between both countries.

Recently I also participated in Indonesia International Geothermal Convention and Exhibition 2018. It was an occasion which promotes and advances broader collaboration and innovation amongst geothermal's stakeholders with motivation to accelerate the development of geothermal energy for future energy supply.

Throughout my career, I have developed more profound skills in both accounting with taxation and financial management in a multinational scale. Nevertheless, I have come to a realisation that those individual experiences or knowledge need to be enhanced in a global market and entrepreneurial context in order to pursue my career plan as an entrepreneur in creative industry.

My dissertation would discuss the analysis of foreign market entry strategy for Indonesian SMEs of Creative Industry by analysing the motivation, barriers, factors for internationalisation such as social an business network, and international entrepreneurship. SME which born as a global firm will play an important role in the world economy. This dissertation will explain key characteristics of internationalisation of creative industries. I hope that this dissertation will help the readers to understand how the born global firms internationalise and later on help the micro companies in Indonesia to scaling-up their business to global market.

Indonesia is so rich in her cultural heritage and arts. Nevertheless, from my recent visit in certain areas, I found that many local artists have difficulties to make a decent living from their artworks. By completing the Master's program, I aim to create a sustainable business that sells pieces of artworks mainly from local talents in creative industry and empower local resources to compete with global market. I want to make a change and re-invent the products to meet the global market demands using my extensive network to make this possible.

I also aim to be a mentor to potential newcomers in entrepreneurship and creative industry after running the business in the following 5 years. This experience will allow me to mentor potential newcomers in creative industry under the structure of Indonesian Association of Young Entrepreneur or under the umbrella from the Ministry of Cooperatives and SME and BEKRAF to give back to the society. Furthermore, Indonesia has low number of educated entrepreneurs who able to run their business successfully. In lieu with the policies set by the government, my set skills will be highly sought after upon my graduation and I can positively contribute to my country.

I believe GLOCAL offers the opportunities to learn fundamentals on making innovations and together with traditional ones, which are, align with my career plan as an entrepreneur who empower local creativity. Learning from historical and cultural perspectives on global economy, marketing and mass consumption will equipped me with skills of problem solving to create solutions for difficulties faced in the industry. This program also will help me learn from cases that will be a tool to tackle current global market situation.

The opportunity to study in prestigious Universities in Europe is in itself a privilege given their Global recognition. I look forward to experiences that will enable me to learn about European culture and history. Furthermore, GLOCAL Master's Degree will enrich my knowledge in global markets that will enable me in making impact to Indonesia creative industry through entrepreneurship. I sincerely hope the admission committee finds my profile well suited for this life-changing opportunity.
vania   
Dec 3, 2018
Writing Feedback / The reconstruction of Hospital Road - changes in the pathway to a city hospital [2]

I think in this essay you can use the compass to describe the differences.
For example: new parking is constructed in the east side of the hospital.
When describing the location of something on a map, I think you should use phrases like:

to the north of
to the east of
in the west
to the south of
north west of
vania   
Nov 26, 2018
Undergraduate / The most important to me is the relationship with my friends and family - UBC Personal Profile [6]

I think to make a highly competitive essay for scholarship application, you should show ability to overcome or tackle the challenges.
In this case, If you have difficulties in making friends, what did you do? and I think you probably should make it sound professional.

I don't really know whether this essay is for university application, but, if it is, you should sell yourself through the essay.
vania   
Oct 27, 2018
Essays / Art and Design - Chevening essay- Career Plan [2]

Career Plan

Considering my passion in Art and Design, I want to contribute to my home country through creative industry. Business is a tool to achieve that goal. Indonesia is rich with cultural heritage of art and talented people in creative industry. My current goal is to create a business that supports the traditional design and modern-inspired design that still hold the philosophy of each region the garment was produced in hope that the business can bring out the potency of people and women in various village in Indonesia. Hopefully, this business will later on be contributive to develop economy condition in those villages.

The data from Central Bureau of Statistic of Indonesia in 2017 that indicated the importance of education in entrepreneurship and business management for entrepreneurs in order to develop business. The majority of entrepreneurs who run SMEs are elementary school graduates in the amount of 35%. Furthermore, the data shows that the growth rate of SMEs have decrease by 2,5% per year. It means that the numbers of SMEs are high but they are difficult in developing to larger business.

From the fact stated above, I am positive that after finishing my study in Entrepreneurship, I will have the skills to establish an impactful and sustainable business. After finishing my postgraduate in entrepreneurship, I will head back to Indonesia and I will implement the knowledge. I will spend my first year in market research and plan the financing and other aspects including business registration due to the regulations and executing the plans and expand my network in creative industry and participate in relevant Indonesian Agency for Creative Economy's programs.

Furthermore, my long-term goal would be engagements in sharing my knowledge or being a mentor to young entrepreneurs in Indonesia through education. Based on the data, many entrepreneurs in Indonesia don't have comprehensive knowledge to expand their business. Therefore, I would like to contribute to entrepreneurship education in Indonesia in the next five years by sharing my knowledge that I gain from the UK and experiences in businesses.

UK and Indonesia has maintained continuous collaboration in arts and business, which reflected with recent collaboration in second annual UK/ID Festival and both participation in supporting SME development through OECD. I wish to use occasions like this to develop collaborative work with UK in creative industry.

I know I will face many challenges in executing the plan but I am sure with the network that I gain from Chevening Community will help me to execute the plan by collaborative work knowing that every project needs a multidisciplinary team. Chevening Alumni Association Indonesia has done collaborative works in improving and supporting business in Indonesia which reflected from recent forum of Disruptive Industry Forum Indonesia (DIFI) 2018. I believe that Chevening Community is a distinguished environment for people from different country and cultures gather to discuss great ideas. I hope that after the study I can be an asset to contribute in further business cooperation between United Kingdom and Indonesia. Chevening Scholarship is a great platform that will open the door for new opportunities in business cooperation.
vania   
Oct 26, 2018
Scholarship / "Right man in the right place"; a best term to describe a principal that I use in broaden my network [2]

Chevening - Networking essay



To broaden and maintain my network, I attempted continuous interaction with my coworker or people whom I was working with. I believe that the concept of "right man in the right place" is a best term to describe a principal that I use in order to broaden my network. I acknowledged people in my circle based on their interest or specialty and managed to include them in a current project that I was working so that I could maintain a continuous relationship. This principal I applied when I was doing a project with my ex-colleagues in 2017 to contribute to my home country through tax.

In 2016-2017, the Government of Indonesia was trying to increase income and investment through tax amnesty. While I was working in the embassy in 2017, I found out that not all people understand or aware about this issue and somehow I also found out that a lot of people don't even report their tax yearly. Surprisingly, in this case, a civil servant of Foreign Ministry didn't report his/her tax regularly because of lack of knowledge or information about it. From that moment I discover an opportunity to give back to my home country through income tax.

To create a network, I share my knowledge and information for a good purpose. I initiated socializations about tax report and tax amnesty to the diplomats and local staffs. I gave them insights about how to report their taxes and information related to tax amnesty and encourage them to report their taxes as soon as possible so that they can gain benefit from the low tax rate. As a result from that socialization, I gained trust from the diplomats and local staffs who some of them asked me to help them in complying tax amnesty and reporting their taxes.

Working in the place that is far from my home country is the first problem that I faced in order to finished this task. The taxation system in Indonesia still involving the tax-payer or authorized party to report the taxes directly to the directorate general of taxes offices presently. Furthermore, the other challenge is the necessity to work professionally and efficiently as a secretary to Deputy Chief of Mission and to keep updated from the recent regulation of Indonesia taxation. To tackle these problems, I use my network that I gained from previous job as a tax consultant.

Having a network that I gained from previous working experience, I involved my ex-colleagues who are tax consultants to help me finish the task that was given in order to report the annual tax report and tax amnesty and to comply with tax regulation. I continuously maintained a good communication with my colleagues and discussed the solutions for the task. Learning from my professional experience encourages me to take a new challenging task on build a great networking at Chevening Community. If become one of a Chevening Scholars, I will use the network to improve collaboration between the scholars from respective countries in order to solve the problems that are exist in each of our respective countries whether it is through entrepreneurship or collaborative works.
vania   
Oct 26, 2018
Writing Feedback / Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or not? [4]

I think you already written a good essay.
you already paraphrasing the questions nicely and state your opinion.
In the second and the third paragraph you also already stated an example and supporting statement.
And you conclude your opinion nicely in the last paragraph.

Maybe the last paragraph could be better if you add up more explanation about that concusion.
vania   
Oct 26, 2018
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK1 - Fairtrade coffee and bananas in five countries [2]

according to my experience in IELTS preparation test,
the first thing that you can do is paraphrasing the table
second, try to describe the overall statement or the key thing in the table that makes it outstanding. for Example : Swizerland produced the highest number of bananas.

Second paragraph you can mentioned something that stands out in table one
Third Paragraph you did the same thing like in the second paragraph but as in table two.
Fourth, you came into conclusion.

Nevertheless, this is based on my knowledge. I believe people have different style in writting.
you will achieve a good score in writing s long as you communicate the tables efficiently and showed varied vocabulary and grammar.
vania   
Oct 25, 2018
Scholarship / As a true leader, I encourage and inspire people to pursue their dream. [2]

Please kindly review essays below. I'm not a native speaker of english, so please mind the grammar.

Leadership and Influence



Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

I was raised in the family that supports all of the children to follow their interest to bring out their potency. This opportunity has benefited me and helped me to improve my leadership skills through volunteering in various organizations and running my own business since junior high school. I always have a desire to give back to my home country. This desire has motivate me to be a facilitator of a non-profit organization named Inspiration-factory, which is an organization with vision and mission to inspire unfortunate children to be brave in pursuing their dream.

As a true leader, I encourage and inspire people to pursue their dream. Having interest in entrepreneurship and being a coordinator of Development of YY Committee of AS Community in 2014, I initiated a seminar called CP. Accounting Student Community is a student organization with five committees that cooperate to achieve the same goal. YY is one of the organization committee that mainly focuses in planning and executing organization vision in improving interpersonal skills and developing creative and innovative thinking of accounting

students. This seminar was driven by a desire to influence the youth society to be brave in executing their ideas into reality, as in this case, if they are aspire to be an entrepreneur, I want them to be brave to start their own business. This seminar is expected to inspire young people especially students in Economy Faculty of XY and to help the government that in fact is trying to improve the number of entrepreneur in Indonesia. As a person in charge who initiated the seminar, I lead the work from zero. I improve my problem-solving skill as a leader simultaneously by initiated regular internal meetings to discuss the preparation of the seminar and to address the issues in succeeding the seminar. The biggest challenge I faced during preparation of the seminar is how to engage with my team member. To tackle this problem, I

encouraged my team to give their recommendation and analysis in order to come to a best decision and motivate them to finish their work. To increase the cooperation level, it is important for me to build a closer bond with each member. Therefore, in many occasion I tried to interact with them more often and acknowledge their presence by means trusting them in doing their task and praising them for doing a good work.

As a result, I created a good teamwork that successfully gained participation and enthusiast from many students in the seminar. We invited two speakers who are entrepreneurs that have succeed in running their own business while pursuing their study to share their experiences and initiated a business plan competition in that seminar. Furthermore, Many students gained knowledge of how to write a business plan and got inspired to start their own business.
vania   
Oct 25, 2018
Scholarship / Creative brainstorming - Chevening Leadership [5]

I think this is a good leadership and influence experience. Nevertheless, I think you should highlight the skill of leadership you have and then connect it with your experience.
vania   
Oct 25, 2018
Scholarship / There are several reasons why I choose United Kingdom to pursue my further study [3]

Study in Uk



Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future. Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

There are several reasons why I choose United Kingdom to pursue my further study. The UK always been my first choice for higher education as it got a range of world-leading universities with courses offered in English, which is an advantage for international students. UK is a place where many start-ups have successfully going global. For instance, Uber and Airbnb have significant impact for many countries. Therefore, I want to have access to learn from many professionals and experienced entrepreneurs to enhance my knowledge in business. Furthermore, I always fascinated by United Kingdom culture that was reflected through music from British band in the 60s. Growing up, I was influenced by my grandfather who is a fan of the Beatles, this what makes me curious about United Kingdom since I was a kid.

​I choose MSc in University of Bristol as my first choice because of its reputation in Business study, exposure to many start-ups through Bristol Entrepreneurs, unique modules that use design approach. Furthermore, I choose MSc Entrepreneurship in Warwick University, and MSc Entrepreneurship in Cardiff University as first and second respectively considering Finance, innovation, and marketing subject, which are three main challenging parts when I ran a business. The increasingly various market challenges plus the lack of knowledge in terms of managing innovation for business, quality control, finance and marketing in context of entrepreneurship are difficulties that I faced when running a fashion business other creative business.

I'm looking for Master program that is designed to develop my entrepreneurial skills in establishing an impacful business. My working experiences in various professional fields and having education background in accounting will be incomplete without the combination of entrepreneurship knowledge that I gain from the Master study. I hope that after the study I can be an asset to contribute in further business cooperation between United Kingdom and Indonesia. Chevening Scholarship is a great platform that will open the door for new opportunities in business cooperation.

Career Plan
One essay at one time, please
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