Writing Feedback / IELTS Book 13 test 3 task 1 - Top 10 countries for the production and consumption of electricity [4]

countries' electrical usage and supply in 2014

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.

The bar chart gives information about top ten countries' electrical usage and supply in 2014. It is clear that China was the largest production and consumption of electricity while Korea Republic was the least among all. All countries except Germany had their electrical energy production more than consumption in billion kWh.

From the chart, we can see that China took the leading role in electrical industry, with 5398 billion kWh production and 5322 billion kWh consumption. Ranking next was the Unites states, its energy supply and usage were around 1000 billion kWh less than China's, they were 4099 billion kWh and 3866 billion kWh, respectively. Russia was the third major electrical energy production and consumption country, however, both categories were about one in five when compared to China's.

Following the rank, the countries after Russia were Japan, India, Canada, France and Brazil, these countries' electricity supply production were all approximately 100 billion kWh more than their electricity usage. Interestingly, Germany, which positioned after Brazil, was the only country that its electricity consumption was 526.6 billion kWh, outweighed supply of electricity by 64.1 billion kWh. Finally, Korea Republic was the least active country in electrical industry, for its electrical supply and usage were 485.1 billion kWh and 449.5 billion kWh.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS: people pay to enter museums can help conserve artworks and facilitate sustainable development [4]

Many museums charge for admission while others are free

Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

It is true that nowadays more museums start charging people for admission. I completely agree the idea that the pros of the measure outweigh the cons.

In my opinion, people pay to enter museums can help conserve artworks and facilitate sustainable development. By receiving the entrance fee from visitors, museums can make use of fund in maintenance, rehabilitation and security etc, these are the vital elements that keep museums running. While part of income is spent in labor force so that they could earn a living. For countries like Italy, it mainly relies on museums tourism to support their economic development through applying heavy entrance fee to worldwide visitors. Besides, much revenue is put in education, this can effectively raise public awareness of cultural conservation which proves museums enforcing admission fee can be utilized in several meaningful ways.

However, when museums are no longer free of charge for entrance, their accessibility decreases gradually. Under-privileged group become more difficult to access to masterpieces due to costly entrance ticket, nevertheless, local communities like Hong Kong Children Club offers free guided tour and discounted ticket to allow the needy to appreciate without financial hurdles. Meanwhile, some may say popularity of museums declines if they mandate charging scheme, I doubt that whether travelers will be restricted by the entrance fee when they discover some artifacts which are worth-seeing. A typical example is the Versailles Palace in France, though so pricey as it may seem, it still attracts millions of tourists every year.

In conclusion, museums charging people for admission bring disadvantages, they are indeed insignificant and hence the advantages outweigh.

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2 - Diagrams about the life of the salmons - from "fry" to the adult salmons [5]

life cycle of the salmon

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant .

The diagrams illustrate the life cycle of a species of large fish namely the salmon.

It is clear that the life of the salmons take place in lower course river, open sea and upper course river. And their maximum size is around 70-76 cm.

In the fast flowing lower river, baby salmons are called "fry" which have 3-8 cm long. They live there for approximately four years then become "smolt" that are 7-9 cm longer than "fry". Since then, "smolts" migrate to open sea for around 5 years.

Once salmons become "adult salmons", at their maximum size of 70-76 cm, they swim to upper river with slow moving current. In the river, It is full of reeds and small stones. To breed their next generation, "adult salmons" lay down their eggs beneath the small stones, the period is long for about 5-6 months. Finally, new "fry" is born and begins its life again in lower river. The cycle is closed and continuous.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Book 10 Test 3 Task 2- more similarities between different countries [3]

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is often said that countries are becoming more identical than ever before. This is because nowadays people are able to reach the same products anywhere in the world . I completely agree with this and I believe this phenomenon is a positive development.

The first advantage of this development is that it fosters world economic development. With free flow of products due to globalisation, people from all over the world can now access to diversified goods, this helps logistics industry thrives and boosts economic development. Meanwhile, by the time citizens commute to work or travel, they would miss the taste of their hometown food, availability of same products around the globe can then serve give them a sense that they are not far from their home country. This further allows the free flow of experts and talents across countries without the restriction of the lack of hometowns' necessity and food. For instance, Canada is an international country with products supplied from everywhere, this can cater for every people's need and has attracted worldwide talents.

On top of economic development, products existing everywhere can create social harmony. As we all know, products are carriers of a country's culture, what we experience from a product are what the country's social value reflects. Through understanding the usage and stories behind the product, we learn to accept and respect the cultural differences between countries. As time goes, we are tranied to become a better global citizen by having mutual respect towards one another. An example is that Kimchi is a well known korean food which conveys the korean culture- healthy life style through food fermentation. The more culture we understood, the better social atmosphere we can create.

In conclusion, availability of same products across places may reduce the uniqueness the each country, we should never neglect the benefits it brings in terms of ecnomy and society.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Book 10 Test 3 Task 1 - Charts about the destination of UK graduates and postgraduates in 2008 [3]

Destination of uk graduates in 2008

The bar charts give information about destination of UK graduates and postgraduates ( excluding full- time work) in 2008.

It is noticeable that the major path that UK graduates and postgraduates chose was to further their study. While the number of students involving in voluntary work was the least among graduates and postgraduates in 2008.

For UK gradustes, the major career path after their graduation was furthering their study, this accounted for nearly 30000 students. The number of students decided to have part-time work and unemployment were about the half of the students in further study, which were around 17000 and 16000 respectively. However, for voluntary work, only approximately 3500 university students had involved in, this was a one in tenth of the number of students in further study.

Looking at the UK postgraduates bar chart, we can also see that a majority of students determined to continue their study, the number of them were around 2700. With the number of postgraduates having no jobs was about the half of students who extended their study, UK postgraduates having a part-time job was 200 less than students kept studying. Finally, only 345 students engaged in vlountary work, the least among all.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS Book 8 Test 1 Task 2 -School is the place to teach children how to be good members of society? [3]

IELTS Book 8 Test 1 Task 2

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both your views and give your own opinion.

It is true that parents shoulder responsibility to teach children how to be good members of society. However, I argue that school is the main place where children learn and practice to be good members of society.

In my opinion, schools allow students to understand the importance of being a good team player and obedient more effectively which are expected in society. It is well-known that school is regarded as the 'microcosm' of society, what schools require students to do is what society demands of. For instance, students comply with school rules showed they are obedient, while engaging in team activities indicated students are able to be a good team player. I believe these elements are vital for students' future career path and keep society to run smoothly. However, given that schools have large class sizes. I doubt whether teachers can access to every students' characters and personalities, and then squeeze time to teach students about these social core values- being a good team player and obedient.

Alongside the influence of school, parents are also in charge to teach children to be good people of society. Eversince childhood, kids have been taught that they should be polite, humble and willing to share by parents through various taeching materials like story books and cartoons. When taking a closer sight at it, we can find that these teachings are all knowledge-based and these mean that they are not practical enough when compared to schools, since schools provide platform for true human interactions which is similar in society. Also, as children reach puberty, they are more susceptible to peer influence instead of parents, school then become the main stage for students to learn to be good members of society.

In conclusion, while parents and schools are essential for children to gain social core values to be better person in society, I believe that school is way more effective and practical to achieve this aim.