Writing Feedback / Culture shock - preventing people from accommodating to a new life? [NEW]

This is the assignment form Understanding international communication class.My teacher ask us to choose a topic from chap 5:Culture shock.Please help me correct this essay .Thanks all.

Topic: Some people believe that culture shock is a big problem preventing people from accommodating to a new life.Others disagree,arguing that it is a good chance for people boost their self-confdence plus to enhance their potential abilities.Discuss this.

In some people's eye culture shock is merely a challenging barrier that inhibits their accommondating to a new life in an unfamiliar culture. There are, however,many people who see the underlyingly possitive impacts of culture shock. In this essay I will attempt to analyse both sides of culture shock and then give a real life example in my experience as well as draw some lessons I gained from it.

First and foremost, what is the term "culture shock"? "Culture shock is a stressful transitional period when individuals move from a familiar cultural environment to an unfamiliar one" (Understanding intercultural communication,Stella Ting-Toomey and Leeva C.Chung,second edition). People tend to view their own way of life as natural, which means they often find themselves feeling difficult as they enter an unfamliar culture. Everyone has experienced culture shock at least one time in everyday life, not to mention those who used to go overseas,it could be a long trip to another city or sitting next to a new international classmate.Culture shock,however, is most intense when people travel abroad.Those,who experienced culture shock,are often left with tremendous stress an pressure on the well-being of an individual.According to Ward et al 's discussion ABC's of culture shock, sojourners have to undergo three stages which are affective stage, behavior stage and cognitive stage.when facing culture shock.

There is no doubt that culture shock brings a buch of negative implications to sojourners and immigrants in terms of physical,cognitve and behavioral.Those,who experience prolonged stress from culture shock may get digestion problems,loss of appetite, sleep disorder or even high blood pressure,etc.Besides,the problems in terms of cognitive also play a significant role in contributing to the negative impacts of culture shock.The difficulty in making accurate attributions and coping with the new situation may lead to the feeling of isolation, loneliness and homesickness plus a decrease in self-confidence and self pity.Furthermore,the depression and exhaustion from inability to tackle the problems in an unfamliar situation is likely to generate some inappropriate behaviors like higher alcohol consumption and insulting statement about the host society and its members.

It can not be denied that culture shock leaves those who experience it tremendous troubles,but it is a completely normal process and physical plus psychological reactions mentioned above are totally understanable. As long as people learn to manage it effectively,it will help them to experiment new ideas,boost their sense of well-being,cognitive openness,self-confidence, equipting them with necessary skills,bringing enormous potentiial benefits. When the newcomers step by step learn to get used to the unfamiliar situation, they will gradually build their knowledge of different cultures. More importantly,when it comes to misunderstanding cultures or some health problems,they will have chance to learn to take care of physical and mental health by themselves and learn to solve problems on their own.The key is that people experiencing culture shock should try to turn to barriers into a big opportunity to take advantages of it.

From my experience, I once went through a hard time,which can be considered a culture shock. It was in the 2005,when my uncle living in Australia asked me to come to Australia to study and he would take care of me.My parents obviously let me choose but th ey prefered me to stay at home bacause I was too young at that time.I had always dreamt of living abroad,which led me to chose to live in Australia with my uncle. First days at secondary school in Australia were extremely horrible, I was freak out with everything,everything was different from my country,which made my worried and anxious and I found hard to cope with.I could not eat anything and lost 3 weight within 5 days. After about one week, I gradually got used to the new life and found out that it was actually not that bad but then I became depressed and burst into tears because I really missed my parents,my relatives and my friends. Due to some problems I had to study there 2 months before coming home with my parents.I was regretful for not listening to my parent's advice that I was too small to get ready for a new life in a forein coultry without parents nearby. Now I think that if I have another chance to live in a forein country,I will not be hesitant to go because I am not small any more an I can do everything on my own without the help from parents and I will not completely too freak out to come to get to know the new country.

After the experience underwent, I find out some useful tips to conquer "culture shock" barriers that could be applied to many situations like that.Before coming to an unfamiliar culture, it is essential that people increase their motivations to learn the new culture,making a good preparation of knowledge of its cultural customs,norms and language.The most important tip that need to keep in mind is to calm down when encounter culture shock because culture shock is unavoidable,there is no point in freaking out,which just deteriorates the situation.It takes time to recover from culture shock,not immediately.It is worth remembering that everyone who has to go through culture shock need to get to know the revised W-shape adjustment model consisting 7 stages and at the 7th stage,which is resocialization stage,everything will back to normal.

The topic of pros and cons of culture shock plays a significant role in making people aware of the negative effects of it so that they can avoid some problematic consequences deriving from culture shock and take advantage of its impacts to help themselves.Adding to that,this topic can be considered as a foundation on giving fundamental knowledge of adapting to a different environment.Keeping in touch with family and friends also help decreasing effects of culture shock.

Writing Feedback / Life of a child star-rewards and problems [3]

Hello everyone,please help me give feedbacks for my writing.Thanks:)

Life as a child star can bring a mix of great rewards and big problems.In your opinion,which is more likely to be more dominant in the life of most child stars,the rewards or the problems?

Life as a child star has been a dream of many people because being a child star,you can enjoy a number of rewards coming from fame such as money,respect from people,successful career,etc.Life of a child star,however,is more difficult than many people can imagine.Fame brings to a child star more troubles than rewards,in other words,troubles are more likely to be dominant in the life of most child stars.

First of all,big problems come from the press,the press seems just to write bad things about a child star.The reason is that people tend to pay more attention to bad things than good things and a star child is not old enough to manage his private life well.The press take advantage of that leak to catch people's attention to make money.Stories about using drugs,fighting with friends,and family problems seem to be more exciting than studying hard,successful academic achievements at school,good behaviors in public.Lindsay Lohan is an example of this.She is the target of reporters and paparazzi,she is the subjects of many stories about romances and partying.The tabloid pree pursued her constantly to write gossip stories about her.These stories have bad effects on the future of a child star and they may ruin his future.

Besides troubles from the press,a child star has to deal with some rewards that his popularity brings.Being a celebrity,a child star can have a lot of money,admiration and respect from many people,which may make he think that he can get everything he wants and therefore may spoil him.Morover,the pleasure of being a star can distract him from studying at school,leading to the drop of GPA.Also,being a child star,he will have a busy schelude,which leaves him almost no time with family and friends.That's why a child star always feel stressful,pressured and sometime lonely.The lack of time also makes it difficult for a child star to balance between his career and his studying.

In conclusion,fame bring more serious troubles than great rewards to a child star.I think child star is not old enough to be able to deal with all the problems and put up with the pressure from being famous.The press should be aware of that and people should have more sympathy and fewer judgements for child star.

Writing Feedback / Essay:academic subjects and non-academic subjects. [2]

Hope you guys give feedbacks to my essay
thanks a milions.

With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue as if it is a general truth that young people nowadays are expected to succeed academically by just focusing on acadmic subjects but ignore non-academic subjects at school.But to be frank,I can not agree with them.The reasons why I hold no confidence on them are listed as follows.

First of all,non-academic subjects include cooking,physical education,woodwork,painting,etc,which are fundermental things a normal person should be equiped with.Imagine,when you move to a foreign country and have no aquaintances,you are supposed to cook on your own if you don't want to waste an increasing money on eating out,not to mention that food in restaurants may not healthy.Furthermore,without physical education,you can do nothing,but if you are healthy,energetic,you can set goals to achieve,fulfil your dreams,travel a lot.In other words,if you have a good health,you can do lots of thing,which make your life more meaningful.

Second of all,after lessons of academic subjects
Requiring somuch concentration and cognitive thinking,you need some relax,which you can find in lessons of non-academic subjects.For example,a wooden toy you make from stuff,a product of creativity in painting class,or a footbal game can help you release tireness or stress.

Last but not least,you may have chance of find your gifted talent or your interest early in some fields such as soccer,cooking,painting,etc so that you can have the orientations and make right decision about your career.

Non-subjects may lay foundation in your future.Maybe someday you will become a famous football player or a chef thanks to the stimulation in football matchs or cooking class at high school.

In a word,non-academic subjects play a not less important role than academic subjects at schools.They should not be neglected but paid more attention.

Writing Feedback / Essay:Studying at home by using technology or studying at traditional schools? [2]

Hope you guys give feedbacks to my writing.
Thanks alot.

In the future,students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television or of studying at at traditional schools.Which would you prefer?Use reasons and specific detals to explain your choice.

When faced with the decision of studying at traditional schools or studying at home with the help of technology such as computers or televisions,quite a few would claim

that traditional teaching methods at schools are the most effective ways improving your study and irreplaceable,but others,in contrast,deem studying at home by using technology as the premier choice and that is also my point.There are numerous reasons why I choose this method of studying,and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here.

The main reason Why I agree with the above statement is that using technology in study makes you independent and more creative because at traditional schools,you almost always work under the guide of teachers,especially when you face up to problems in study,you don't have to wory as they will show you how to solve them,while at home you have nobody to ask for help except for technology,resulting that you have to find the solutions and do everything on your own with the aid of technology.

Another reason,which is supposed to support my choice, is that teacher at traditional schools try to provide students with a plethora of information and what students have to do is no more than trying to remember all of it,leading students to think that they are forced to remember all the knowledge teachers provide and that is the best way to sudy.In contrast, at home students use technology to study knowledge,that means they have to find information on their own,which is more effective than when they are provided it.Furthermore,only students know what is necessary to them and only when they like can they study better.Additionally,knowledge in

traditional schools is limitted in textbooks,whereas just a click of mouse you can access websites with full of information in any field.
In a word,from reasons I've mentioned above,you might got the idea that I'd prefer studying at home using technology,which I think is the best method of study helping me study better.

Writing Feedback / Toefl essay: Mass media influences people's ideas [NEW]

Hope you guys give feedbacks to my essay.thank you so much.
have a nice day!

The mass media,including television,radio and newspaper,have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays some may hold the opinion that using mass media,including television,radio and newspaper obviously influence on the thoughts and behaviors of people,but others think that what people think and behave in daily life has nothing to do with mass media. As far as I am concerned,I agree that television,radio,newspaper more or less affect in shaping people's ideas. My arguments for this point are listed as follows.

The first reason is that the time people spend watching TV,reading newspapers leaves them almost no time thinking on their own. If they using these mass media too much,it may cause mental laziness because most time they just listen to radio or stick eyes to television,newspaper and let scenes films,lines in newspapers flow in their mind without thinking by themselves.

Another reason why I agree with the statement above is that many people watching films are influenced by the characters or scenes. For example, last year a film called " Full house" was on TV in my country.This film was so famous that it raised a "fever",everyone watched it,especially teenagers. The main character is a very beautiful and cute girl. Immediately after 2 weeks "Full house" was on TV, many teenagers seek to buy clothes like the main character's. Adding to films, many advertisements on TV have a great influence in the decision of people. For example, my brother bought a purifier water to remain alive last week just after watching an advertisement on TV,saying that the water we are drinking is heavily polluted.

Finally,when you read newspaper or listen to radio, you are often persuaded by their analysis,argument,or persuasive voice. You will see everything in newspaper,on radio is reasoning,which may affect on the way you think,the way you say in daily life. You don't know people who write papers,speak on radio are trained to do it. They always have the way to make listeners or readers believe them.

In a word, from reasons above, we may reach the conclusion that the mass media certainly affect people' ideas. People should not spend too much time watching Tv,reading newspaper or listening radio.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL:At present we rely on oil for most our energy needs! [4]

At present we rely on oil for most our energy needs. However,oil is a fossil fuel and causes air pollution,and it will eventually run out. Nuclear energy is the only practical and clean source of energy for the world. In what extent do you agree or disagree?

Oil is a fossil fuel,which is one of the major sources of energy we are
using. Although oil is cheap and easy to use, using it can cause air
pollution and it sooner or later will be exhausted. The question is that is
there a practical,powerful and clean source of energy for the world?
Nuclear energy would be the best answer to this. There is however a
debate on using nuclear energy. In my point of view, it can't be denied
that nuclear energy has some benefits but it seems leave more negative
effects than positive ones.
First of all, nuclear energy is cleaner than oil.coal.gas,etc because it
produces no smoke,emmision, which we may inhale when we use fossil
fuels. Smoke from oil,coal,gas can lead to air pollution and some diseases
such as lung cancer,bronchitist,ashmas,etc. That's why it is obviously
healthier to use nuclear energy. Adding to this, nuclear energy is
surprisingly efficient.For example, a nuclear power factory can provide
energy to the Earth using within 2 years.
Besides some advantages above, nuclear nergy has numerous
disadvantages. Firstly,using nuclear energy is very very dangerous
because reactors produce nuclear waste products emitting
dangerous radiation,,which is extremely harmful for the body and can
cause death. In case there's a mistake made by human or technology, it
can lead to unexpected horrible accidents, which may distroy the whole
country using it or more than that. For instance,in 1957,nuclear wastes
buried at a dump site in Russia's Ural Mountains, near Moscow,
mysteriously exploded and caused the death of dozens of people.
Secondly, nuclear energy encourage nuclear weapon race,which
may threat to the peace since its devastation is unexpected large,
destroying not only contries taking part in war but other countries as well.
In addititon, nuclear energy is so expensive that not every country can use
it. It costs a lot of money and requires modern technology. Lastly, there's
lots of other source of energy can replace nuclear energy such as wind
energy,solar energy, water energy,etc which are avalable,environmental
friendly and more importanly they are unlimited.
To sum up, despite advantages from nuclear energy, using it is still too
dangerous. We should limit to use it or if we use it,we have to be very
careful. There's lots of other sources of energy which are clean
powerful too we can use instead of nuclear energy.

Please give feedbacks to my essay.Thank you so much.

Writing Feedback / Change one thing about education in VietNam [2]

hello everyone, my writing is not good,so I need your help. It's an essay I've completed. It's very kind of you to revise it.Thank you so much.

If you could change one thing about education in Viet Nam, what would you change?

Education is the root of development of every country all over the world and VietNam is not an exception. It's one of the most important steps that takes a country to a better level. Stepping into the 21st century, Vietnamese educational system is still weak in quality,unbalanced in structure,not linked with practice. Furthermore,the training is not linked with employment. In this essay, I'd like to focus on the idea of changing method which I personally think is the best key to these weaknesses.

Numerous lecturers nowadays complain that their students are passive during lessons. Students,most of the time, mutely sit with dull eyes and insipid faces, which makes teachers find it difficult to discover how much students have understood what they have been taught. Students don't even raise hands to express their viewpoints until teachers ask questions. They are very pleased with being followers.

The reason for this problem,first of all,comes from the attitude of most of the students to the subjects. Students are just studying to pass their exams,and they lack any real love for their subjects. Another reason is fear. Our education has for hundreds of years applied a traditional teaching method in which students passively obey what their teachers have told them. They have no courage to ask for more information even when they have not understood something. This fact shows the fear of expressing their own viewpoints. In other words, they are afraid of the teachers would judge or criticize them if they are wrong.

The questions are why? And who should be put on blame for this problem. It's teachers whose traditonal teaching method;lesson is read aloud,and students write down their text. It's traditional teaching method which requires no more than learning by heart and limits practical skills. For example, a lot of students nowadays are still afraid of speaking in front of the public due to being timid,not confident. That is because in class applying traditional teaching method, they don't have to speak in front of other studens. Instead, they are "public" and it's the teacher who answers all the questions they ask and provides lots of information they need. Students need communication skill. It's traditional teaching method which focuses so much on academic theories but ignore applying them into practice. That's why some students are good at solving mathematical problems but fail in solving social problems. It's thinking skill that need improving. As I said above, in traditional teaching method, because all necessary information are provided, students may depend on their teachers instead of thinking creatively as well as doing independently. They need thinking skill.

Also, most examinations only require students to remember what they take notes in class. This encourages learners to learn by heart like parrots not students. And then leaving rooms, these "parrots" remember nothing.

It's time this situation changes.
The solution to these problems is new teaching methods which help developing practical skills and make students more active. First of all,there should be more classes in which teachers ask questions and students are expected to answer all the questions. This will force students think for themselves, which will reveal the weaknesses in the students's way of thinking,and lead them to stronger,better ideas. These classes will improve thinking skill and may be communication skill as well.

In addition to these classes, extracirrcular activities should be encouraged to help students more being active, building some esential skills such as teamwork, the ability of management, and social communication skill,etc. they should be given chances to join hands in community activities such as Earth Hours,as well as social campaign to assist the community,give charity to the poor...

Nowadays, new teaching methods have being applied in a lot of schools. Class is divided into three or four groups which do the tasks the teacher orders. The teacher only acts as a guide, helps solve problems if necessary. Another teaching method also effective is that classes use projecters and laptops. Multi-media facilities like TV,radio,internet are also used to make subjects more interesting. They find it easier to remember lessons through stories,pictures,videos...Also,in this teaching method,they don't have to waste time taking notes. Instead,they can copy the teacher's lesson notes from her laptop to their USBs.

In conclusion,"teaching" should be correctly understood. Teaching should mean instilling in students a thirst for knowledge and the methodology for them to discover things by themselves. If teachers believe that their role is to convey knowledge to students,they should choose the best teaching method which erase the ability in creative thinking, the practical skills as well as the knowledge in theory.