Scholarship / Presidential Scholars Essay: Losing my best friend. [2]

Describe a mistake you made or a challenge you faced. How did you respond to that mistake or challenge, and what did you learn from your experience?

it's a bit too long. and i think i spend too much time describing my mistake rather than discussing how i responded/learned from it.

any help would be greatly appreciated!

I am always busy. Sometimes it seems as if every second of my time is already taken. This was especially true during my junior year of high school. I was a student council officer, president of a library volunteer committee, publicity chair of the all-school musical, National Honor Society member, Chinese school student, etc. In short, I was constantly occupied. In the mist of this chaotic life, where everyday seemed 24 hours too short, I made an unforgettable mistake: I lost my best friend.

It started with a missed phone call, dragged on to sleepover rain checks, and ended with a broken friend.

I purposely missed her calls, knowing that I didn't have the time to talk yet too embarrassed to tell her so. I made up excuses to not hang out, and one day it became one excuse too many. She stopped calling. It took me a few months to notice and a few more months to feebly reach out to her. However, by then, I had lost my place in her life and felt the difficulty of trying to inject myself back in. So, I gave up, resumed my busy lifestyle, and immersed myself in all the schoolwork and extracurricular activities that had saturated my life. It wasn't until early this school year that I finally realized I wanted to make up for all the pain I had caused her and wanted her back in my life. It started with a simple, but sincere, message. From there, it evolved into a renewed friendship. While we don't see each other often, we text and call each other at least a few times a week to stay updated with each other's lives. But the story doesn't end here.

For the past year or so, my best friend has been depressed. Recently, the depression has become so unbearable that she attempted suicide. I'm thankful she's still alive and well, but I can't help but wonder if had I returned a few more calls last year, she would be walking down a different path of life today.

Sometimes people don't realize the difference they can make in other people's lives. That is no longer the case for me. All of my life, I have wanted to be a politician to serve people. But in the process of pursuing ambitious goals, I have forgotten about the most important thing: people.

Undergraduate / Things that are extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self. [8]

possible princeton supplement:
tell me if it's an okay essay? i just changed the last three paragraphs or so. and does the quote fit well? oh and which one do you like better? the one above or this one?

prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self." - Benjamin Franklin (Poor Richard's Almanac)

As everyone hurriedly worked on his or her assignment, I began to negotiate with it. "Work with me, just work with me. We're both trying to accomplish the same goal!" Recognizing that my pleas took no effect, I initiated a stare down, as if I could miraculously transmit mental brain waves and control its twisted byzantine mind. Nothing. For an hour every day, I fixed my eyes on its blank white face: a smirk, though not visible, was readily perceived. After almost a week of hopeless glaring and irritated clacking, I acceded to defeat, for I could strike it anywhere, anytime, and tarnish its face until black marks covered it entirely yet still feel irrevocably conquered myself. Though I was always guaranteed physical victory, because it never struck back, it seemed to always keep success just beyond the reach of my mental capabilities. Such was the beginning of my relationship with computer programming.

It first brought about the destruction of an ideal. Having been a straight-A student all my life, I operated under the belief that hard work equaled achievement, for truthfully that was all I had ever known. To try and not succeed had been a foreign concept to me until I tried to learn and manipulate the Java language.

Java was an unanticipated challenge. The class was supposed to be easy, and for some, it was. However, what took others 30 minutes to complete took me days to accomplish. First, I denied the reality of struggling with an academic subject. When it could no longer be denied, I resented the fact and became angry that my brain could not pick up on this unfamiliar, inverted way of thinking. A semester had gone by before I finally began to accept the idea that Java does not come to me naturally. No matter how many rules of the Java language I memorized, I lacked the capability to translate that knowledge into successful programs.

This presumably discouraging realization was ironically relieving. I had escaped from my pride and impractical expectation. It was comforting to know that I am simply a human being, susceptible to weaknesses and limitations. No longer blinded by a frustrated ego, I realized I had been so focused on making Java my strength that I had overlooked my natural abilities. I had ceased to understand my weaknesses and employ my strengths.

After this realization, I tried a different approach to overcome Java. My inability to grasp the inverted thought process required in computer programming is my shortcoming, but my strong people skills are my strengths. Swallowing my pride, I sought out people who could best communicate their way of thinking to me. Examining others' problem solving techniques helped me pick up skills that worked for me and ignore others that didn't. With this new self-awareness, I found a way to conquer Java.

Java forced me to take the first steps of a long journey to understand myself, and from it, I've gained an introspective and self-accepting nature.

Undergraduate / MIT: Political Science Passion & Adaptability [7]

Feel free to only edit one of these. Thanks in advance for any comments/criticisms!

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (100 words or fewer)

MIT's Political Science department takes a nontraditional quantitative approach by emphasizing research and crafting its curriculum around a science core. It is the type of education that not only feeds my passion but also matches my logic-driven thinking process. MIT's Applied International Studies minor also fits well with my love of languages and desire to work for a global society. Knowing four languages already and having ethnically diverse friends, I want to participate in MISTI and become culturally aware. The unequaled Political Science program along with MISTI will ensure that I receive a unique education and valuable hands-on experiences.

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (200-250 words)

I arrived in America when I was eight, knowing only three English words: hi, bye, and apple. Being the first Asian my fellow third graders had met, I realized that standing out was the key to fitting in. So, I shared my cultural differences, even if that only meant playing Chinese jump rope instead of hopscotch during recess.

Within a year, I was able to breach the language and cultural barrier. When fourth grade came around, I yearned to truly belong; I wanted to be just like my peers. Wearing Aéropostale and Mudd clothes and dancing to Britney Spears songs, I became a physical and mental replica.

Between fifth grade and eighth grade, I switched schools a total of four times. Along the way, the new and foreign were no longer feared. They became expected sources of excitement.

Four years later, I've become a social chameleon. When I encounter extroverted band kids, my bold, quirky personality emerges. When I'm around quiet artists, I bring out my reserved nature. When I see the future Linus Pauling's and Carl Gauss's of our school, I'm ready to discuss last night's hardest AP physics homework problem.

Though a chameleon changes colors to fit accordingly to its surroundings, it never doubts or forgets its true identity. In the same way, I adhere to my values, uphold my morals, and always retain the essence of my character. However, I have been blessed with the capability to quickly adapt to foreign settings, unfamiliar situations, and new faces.

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? (200-250 words)

My passion did not emerge from textbooks or lectures. My love cannot be learned from teachers. My dreams were not created in a classroom setting. It is both the world I come from and the world that I have escaped that has revealed to me a dedication to international politics.

I used to live in a world where my future was dictated by a one-time test score, my ideas were confined to government ideologies, and my opportunities were limited to my immediate surroundings. My school controlled every aspect of what I learned, regardless of my interests. Having elective classes was a foreign concept. My religious beliefs were nonexistent because religion was unpopular with the government. My budding seeds of discontentment for government actions and media falsities were often stifled, just to be safe. Sure, there was never any real threat for a young girl like me, but there was never any real freedom either.

Today, my future has unlimited possibilities and my thoughts can contain an array of government praises or criticisms. Living in a comparatively transparent democracy, I have been able to explore the intricate workings of the government and determine that this is a field I want to pursue. Having always been a compassionate and ambitious person, I desire to lead a career that truly matters, on a human day-to-day level. One single desire will consume my livelihood: the desire to uphold freedom where it exists and bring freedom where it does not.

Undergraduate / Princeton: a painter's summer [8]

Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs you have held, if not already detailed on the Common Application.

I choose to make my summers colorful, like a painter who just discovered a spectrum of vibrant hues or a child's excited first touch of markers.

Crimson is the blood from his scraped knee. I picked up my teary Vacation Bible School buddy and rocked him back to tranquility, wanting to be his guidance, companion, and sole protector, if only for five days. It has become routine, though never dull, for me to volunteer as a Crew Leader at my church and surround myself with children every June. For 8 hours a day for 5 days, my every action is dictated by their safety and happiness, my patience is worn, and I'm on the brink of a break down. However, it is always my most love-filled and rewarding summer experience.

Ochre is my table that became home to a treasured pile of portable adventures. With newfound free time, I experienced love in 19th century England; I witnessed the damage caused by the Taliban; I lived in an oppressive dystopia. Books took me to places I couldn't go and showed me experiences I wouldn't otherwise encounter.

Yellow is the scorching sun that relentlessly followed me as visited my homeland for the first time since I arrived in America. I ate solidified duck blood, hugged my grandparents for the first time in nine years, climbed the Great Wall, reconnected with childhood friends, and experienced independence like never before. I went to 5 provinces in 6 weeks, flying nationally and internationally, exchanging currency and bartering for goods, riding on subways and public buses-all by myself.

Green is the theme of the statewide student council conference that I co-chaired. During the entire summer of 2009, all MASC/MAHS conference chairs made the 9:00am weekly drive back to school. For three hours every Wednesday, 20 innovative minds planned recycling-related activities and created 'Go Green!' decorations. Working with various types of leaders, I learned the importance of diversity and collaboration.

Blue are the walls of my newfound world. After taking swim lessons, I drove to the YMCA and swam 50 laps every morning. I had never thought myself to be an athlete, but in the water, I found speed, strength and endurance. Submerged under water, I escaped to my own world, one of peace, solitude, and infinite possibilities.

I have colored my life. Every shade creates a little more of who I am and who I want to become. I will not cease to continue my search and attainment of beautiful hues until my canvas is complete and my curiosities satisfied.

Undergraduate / Why Columbia? World Leaders Forum & academic freedom [7]

Why Columbia?

I once lived in a world where my future was dictated by a one-time test score, my ideas confined to government ideologies, and my opportunities limited to my immediate surroundings. Last summer, I saw a glimpse of that world again when a teenage boy in China told me about his school life. He has taken mandatory English classes since 1st grade. His school day is 4 hours longer than mine. His homework load puts mine to shame. Yet, I still have the advantage of creating a better future. He instilled in me an attitude of thanks, a value of academic freedom, and a strong passion to rid the world of such injustices and inequalities.

With a reaffirmed love for politics and appreciation for academic freedom, I found Columbia. Specifically, the World Leaders Forum incorporates all that I value. Famous international figures' speeches and discussions of global challenges give me precious insight and unique global political lessons. Invitations of controversial speakers, such as Iranian President Ahmadinejad and Ethiopian Prime Minister Zenawi, show that Columbia welcomes people of different views, allows for dynamic debates, and thoroughly supports academic freedom. Columbia knows that to successfully establish a personal set of beliefs, one must take into account various facets of information before forming a conclusion. Thus Columbia provides numerous opportunities and resources for students to explore, giving me a student's most valuable freedom: the freedom to think for myself.

Undergraduate / MIT: greatest challenge. my mother leaving; not her husband [6]

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation? (200-250 words)

I struggled to hold back a train of frustrated tears and a shaking voice as I yelled into the phone, "the man downstairs in need of his wife is not my husband, and the 6-year-old yearning for a mother figure in her life is not my daughter!"

When my mother made the 1400 mile trip move from Michigan to Texas, every motherly task that I had taken for granted not only disappeared but also became a part of my responsibility. Having never previously worried myself with such menial ...

after revision:

Having put her career on hold for nearly three years after receiving her Ph. D degree, my mom had finally decided to reenter the work force by taking a job in a small Texas city 1400 miles away. The initial news brought about only excitement and support from the rest of the family. However, we soon experienced the harsh discrepancy between the expected change and the actual shock of losing the caretaker, peacemaker, and glue of our family. Every motherly task that I had taken for granted not only disappeared but also became a part of my responsibility. But, having never previously worried myself with such menial house chores, this came as an unpleasant shock.

Of the tangled slew of emotions I felt, bitterness progressively grew to be the most dominating. I complained about every additional chore, from raking leaves, to doing laundry, to cooking dinner. In my 18 years of existence, I don't believe I have ever consciously desired to be more selfish. I have never so purposefully sought out resentment and deliberately gravitated toward negativity. I defiantly carried out my desires to live my life and not someone else's as a second-rate backup actor.

I wish I could say that one day I reached a life changing epiphany through a random act of patience and strength demonstrated by my dad, but that is far too idealistic to be the case. No doubt, his constant example of perseverance and optimism contributed to my outlook on the situation. However, my ultimate lessons of gratitude and perception were learned on my own as I daily packed my own lunch, picked up my sister from school, and washed the dishes. This new lifestyle forced me to increase in maturity and adaptability, and given no other option, I rose to the challenge. With every responsibility, I gained a bit more independence and self-assurance. I came to learn the work of a homemade dinner, the cost of an impeccably clean house, and, most importantly, the power of love and perspective. As I chose to accept and make the best of the radical changes in my hardest year of high school, I began to see the entire ordeal as a gift of responsibility, a blessing in disguise.

Undergraduate / "My main concern was lunch." --Columbia Supplement [6]

Prompt: Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why: (1500 characters)
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Is the intro too irrelevant? Or is it creative?
Any way I can cut this down? I'm 17 characters over the limit.
Thanks so much!
My main concern was lunch. Stuck in the Tokyo International Airport, surrounded by unfamiliar faces with no real means of communication, I embraced the universal language of McDonald's-the only expressible commonality.

Frustrated by my inability to communicate, I recognized that broad understandings of cultures and ideologies are crucial to my pursuit of a foreign relations career. With these criteria in mind, I found Columbia, a college that values diversity and the freedom of speech.

The World Leaders Forum, my favorite aspect of Columbia, incorporates all that I value. As prominent international figures address global challenges and engage in dynamic discussions, I can receive invaluable insight and unique global political lessons. Moreover, invitations of controversial speakers, such as Iranian President Ahmadinejad and Ethiopian Prime Minister Zenawi, show that Columbia accepts people of different views and allows passionate debates; they attest to Columbia's dedication to academic freedom. To successfully establish a personal set of beliefs is not to block out all ideas contradicting one's own. Instead, it is to take into account different facets of information and then form a final belief. Understanding that, Columbia provides as many resources and opportunities as possible for students to explore, and I will be given the valuable chance to think for myself.

Thinking back to my McDonald's, I know my next visit to Japan will be a much more rewarding experience after a Columbia education.